Chapter Text
Kara shuts the door to her apartment and sighs, eyes heavy with fatigue. It had been one hell of a day. Alex had come out to Kara, and thought Kara wasn’t okay with it, and it got weird. Luckily, the sisters had sorted it out shortly after, but not after Kara had stressed over it for hours. Kara hadn’t known how to react to Alex’s coming out speech, not because she felt any differently about her sister, but because she had been struggling with whether to reveal her own secret. Something she had never told Alex. Never told anyone. A story that was only known by the one other person who was involved with her in the whole experience.
Kara sits down heavily on the couch with the 50 potstickers she bought to recover from this tiring day. She bites down on the first, and reflects on what she told Alex earlier that day.
“I know that this is not the same at all, but I know how it feels like to keep a part of you shut off...but Alex, you are not alone .”
Kara knew she had said that it was not the same, but really, it was. She thinks back 5 years ago, to her college trip in Star City. The memories come back to her easily, like how a well-thumbed book always falls open to the same favourite chapter. 5 years on, she still remembers most of it vividly, can still hear the thumping music in the bar, taste the terrible wine she had ordered, feel the electricity that coursed through her veins when they held hands, shudder at the tingle in her lips when they had their first kiss.
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They met at a bar. Kara had come back to her hotel room to find that her roommate had brought back a boy and they were doing...icky things. So she had taken shelter at the nearest bar, just across the road from her hotel. It seemed like her roommate and her new beau would need some time, so she ordered a glass of white wine. It was a pinot grigio - way too dry for her taste. She cursed her inadequate knowledge of Earth alcohol and made a face.
“Is it that bad?” A sultry drawl with an Irish lilt asked.
Kara looked up. The owner of the voice was a raven-haired girl with crimson lips, and eyes so green she found it impossible to look away. The Kryptonian smiled shyly. “Here, you try.”
The girl made a face, too. “God, yeah, you’re right.” She smirked at Kara, and proffered her glass. “My whiskey and coke is much better.”
Kara tried it and nodded in agreement.
“That badge. You’re here for the international debate finals too?”
“Yes!” Kara exclaimed. She did not know why she was so excited, only that she was so glad to have something in common with this girl that she could not seem to stop staring at. Remember to blink, Kara . She forced herself to look away.
They exchanged school names, and got talking. It turned out that a love for debate wasn’t the only thing they had in common - just the first of many. In fact, they got so engrossed in their conversation that it wasn’t until two hours later that they actually exchanged names.
“I’m Lena, by the way.” Lena grinned widely, showing off two deep dimples. Adorable. Dimples were Kara’s ultimate weakness.
“Kara. Nice to meet you,” Kara chuckled. “I can’t believe we’re only finding out each others’ names after, like, two hours.”
“Well, it’s not my fault that you’re such a great conversationalist.” Lena laughed, her glinting eyes more than a touch flirtatious. Kara felt her own heartbeat quicken.
“So, what brings you to this bar tonight?” Kara asked.
Kara saw pain briefly cross Lena’s face before she wrested it into a neutral expression.
“Oh, you don’t have to answer if it’s something personal,” Kara backtracked.
Lena shook her head. “This is where I usually change the subject, but somehow I feel like I can trust you.” She looked into Kara’s eyes, and Kara was distracted by how the strobe lights caught Lena’s eyes and made them glimmer like emeralds. Focus, she’s about to say something important , she scolded herself, and looked somewhere to the left of Lena’s face so that her attention wouldn’t be seized by her perfect features.
Lena took a breath. “My brother outed me to my parents. And they called to issue me a stern warning against living “this lifestyle”, even though they know I’m up for the finals tomorrow and need to focus. I just felt really angry and rebellious after that and decided to duck into the first lesbian bar I found, as a sort of ‘screw you’ to them.” Lena smiled self-deprecatingly and held her glass up as though proposing a toast. “And so here I am.”
“Oh. You’re...this is a…I didn’t know that. Oh.” Stop talking, Kara.
Kara could see Lena start to shut herself off.
“Don’t worry, I’m not about to make a move on you. You’re straight, right? Called it the moment you walked in.” There was hurt in Lena’s voice, even though she was clearly trying to keep her tone light.
“No, that’s not what I-” Kara stuttered as Lena motioned for the bill and stood up, ready to leave. She put her hand on Lena’s shoulder, and by some miracle, Lena sat back down. “Lena, I’m sorry. Give me another chance, okay? Pretend I didn’t say all of that.” Kara looked deep into her eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves to be outed, and for your parents to react this way...it’s truly horrible.” She saw that Lena’s eyes were starting to well up with tears, and she was furiously trying to blink them away. Strangely, Kara’s heart gave a painful twinge, even though she had just met this stranger, and before she knew it, she was holding Lena in a tight embrace. And it felt really good, because after a second or two, Lena was hugging her back.
Their faces were so close together that when Lena, the shorter of the two, looked up to say thank you, they found that their lips were suddenly inches away from each other and Lena’s eyes were so green and then, suddenly, their lips were no longer apart.
Lena’s lips were on hers. They were impossibly soft and smelled like strawberries. Kara kissed back without hesitation, and she felt something she had never felt before - hot and tingly all over, especially her mouth.
When they came up for air, Lena looked horrified. “Sorry! I should have asked you first. Was that okay?” She looked so shy that Kara could feel her heart melting into a puddle of goo. “Yes. I liked it. Very much.” Now it was Kara’s turn to dip her head in bashfulness.
“So, not straight after all, huh. Gotta work on my gaydar,” Lena smirked mischievously.
Kara fiddled with her glasses. She had been attracted to women and had kissed girls before, especially during the drunken raves that were common in college, but it never felt like this .
“Can I kiss you again?” Kara asked shyly. Lena obliged, with gusto. This time, they went slow, and Kara wondered why it had never felt like this when she kissed other people. Why it never made her heartbeat grow louder than the thumping music in the bar. Why it never felt like there were butterflies struggling to burst out of her belly button. Why she felt so hot all over. Why she felt like she would melt under the softness of Lena’s lips. Why it almost hurt to look at Lena, she was so beautiful, and Kara kept blushing just by looking at her.
Lena’s phone rang, breaking the spell, and Kara realised that one of her hands was cradling Lena’s face and the other was fisted in her silky hair. She quickly dropped her hands, another hot blush creeping up her face and neck. Lena looked with utmost annoyance at phone and said with a sigh, “I’m sorry, I really want to stay but I have to go.”
“Can I have your number?” Kara blurted out before she knew what she was doing.
Lena smirked again. “Sure.”
When they had exchanged numbers, Lena asked, “You said you live at a hotel nearby, right? Let me walk you back.”
Kara blushed again. “It’s just across the road. You really don’t have to.”
“I want to,” Lena insisted, her eyes growing dark green. “Just so we can talk a little more. In case you never want to see me again after today.” Another self-deprecating smile.
“I definitely want to see you again. But how will you get back? Is your hotel far away?”
“Further, yes, but I have a driver, so don’t worry.”
Bathed in the amber light of the streetlamps, Lena looked ethereal. Kara felt bashful and dizzyingly happy as Lena chivalrously walked her home, the two of them maintaining a comfortable silence. They stopped at her hotel lobby, and found a discreet corner away from prying eyes. Kara leaned forward and closed her eyes, hoping that Lena would get the hint. The wait was unnerving, yet exquisite, but before long she felt impossibly soft lips on hers, and that delicious tingle which radiated from her lips to her heart. Just one chaste kiss this time, and Kara wanted more, so much more, but she knew that if they started again she would never let Lena go, and she wanted Lena to be safe getting home.
“Thank you. I’m so glad I met you,” Kara breathed as she pulled Lena into a tight embrace.
“Me too.” That disarming smile, again, and then she was gone.
All night, Kara grinned to herself like a crazy idiot. She texted Lena, asking to meet after the debate competition, and prayed and prayed and prayed that Lena would say yes.
She replied almost immediately. “I would like to see you again too :) Meet you at the conference room lobby after the last debate.”
Kara thanked Rao as she drifted off to sleep, dreaming about a beautiful girl with raven hair and lips that tasted of strawberries.