Chapter Text
Phillip.
Her husband had told her his name would be Phillip. Him and his wife had spent all eight months of her pregnancy having arguments about what their little boy’s name would be. He had talked about how serious they had taken it before, but it all seemed pointless when she wasn’t there to complain about it anymore. There wasn’t even a child to argue about. Maura remembers how disheartened and broken he’d sounded. She’d felt so selfish, already crying herself as she’d sat next to the husband and comforted him.
It had all happened so fast, they’d wheeled the victim of a drunken car accident into her morgue while she was finishing an autopsy. Maura has begun to prep the tools when she saw movement under her clothes. That was when she saw the protrusion of her stomach under the sheet. The woman was pregnant. Not just that, but the baby was alive! Maura has wasted no time calling one of her assistants as she cut into the dead woman and pulled out her baby. Her still breathing baby. He hadn’t cried, but he was breathing and seemed to be healthy enough. Maura kicked off her heels and rushed up the stairs of the hospital and handed him off to a doctor.
He should’ve been okay. He would’ve been okay, but she’d been naive. Hadn’t recognized the doctor she’d handed him to was known for medical mishaps. Too many accidents in emergency rooms; too many wrong cuts in the surgical suite. She hadn’t thought about it. Not until the baby she’d just saved ended up back in her morgue next to his mother.
Maura has never been the type to cry over her cadavers since they were just that, cadavers. Mere shells of the person they’d been. But when they’d wheeled him down, the haulers taking a second to wish the baby and his mother peace, Maura had begun to bawl. It was probably the first time her coworkers had ever seen her show emotion. This was different. She’d held him, heard his heartbeat, felt his breath on her hand. He’d only been here a matter of minutes and it shouldn’t have been his time to leave so soon. When she told the woman’s-Taylor, her name had been-husband, she’d bawled and apologized profusely. He’d sobbed with her, mourning the loss of his wife and son in one night. She then had told him everything that had happened and told him she would do the autopsy, pushing him to sue the doctor who’d caused his son’s death. It didn’t really affect her.
If she got fired, well, she was the best forensic pathologist in the country and could get a job anywhere.
He’d thanked her-Maura was unsure why-before leaving with a heavy heart. After that, the doctor had clocked out, glaring daggers at Doctor Jones when he dared to apologize for not being able to save the baby, touching her shoulder for emphasis. Maura had scoffed and jerked his hand off of her, pissed he even had the audacity to touch her with the hands that had killed so many people. Including baby Phillip.
The anger and sadness had led her here, to a little bar near her house. It was Beacon Hill, so of course it was a little more than a bar in South Boston but the price was the last thing on her mind at the moment. She usually hates strong liquor but after a glass of wine she’d decided that she needed something stronger and settled for a glass of whiskey. It was strong and burned as it went down but the smoky, complex flavors kept her from giving up altogether.
She felt numb. Although this was probably what everyone thought she felt on a regular basis, Maura had never actually felt devoid of emotion until then. Phillip. Phillip Duvall. He should’ve been going home with his father, filling the void the death of his mother had caused. Instead he’d only left another. Maura held in a dry sob as the little baby’s face flashed through her head. He’d been so new and pink, chocolate eyes and black hair. He would have been a heartbreaker. She wonders if he would have been dark skin like his mother or more on the lighter side like his father. For the first time in a long time Maura felt an emotion she’d always tried not to facilitate.
Hate.
Hate for Doctor Jones, who couldn’t even keep his act together to do a simple check on Phillip and aid in opening his airway. Hate for the residents that had helped him hide his medical errors. Lastly, hate for herself. Hate for being too panicked and stunned to assess the situation and make sure he made it to a proper doctor, hate for allowing herself to open up enough to create a connection with this child, only to be hurt in the end. Hate for not being able to deliver good news to his father. Hate for not being good enough to prevent even a little of the heartache in the world. What was the point of being a genius if she couldn’t use her intelligence to help those who needed it? As Maura could feel herself spiraling, a voice broke through her thoughts.
“A beer, please.” Maura looked up.
“That’ll be $15.” The brunette’s head snapped up.
“Really?” The bartender nodded weirdly, as if agreeing the price was ridiculous. The woman sighed and pulled out her wallet, pulling out a couple bills. Maura wasn’t sure what made her do it when she spoke up.
“Put it on my tab.” She said. Both heads snapped toward her as the bartender nodded.
“That’s not necessary, really. I can-” Maura put up a hand, stopping her rambling.
“I assure you it is fine. By the looks of it, your day has been as horrible as mine has. Even if it won’t brighten my day, it would make me feel a little bit better if I did a little good today.” She seemed to understand it, conceding with a smile as the bartender slid over her beer. Maura turned back to her drink, finishing the amber liquid and signalling the bartender for another. As he refilled her glass, she heard the scraping of a stool then saw a body settling next to her in her periphery. The doctor looked up to see the tanned, dark-haired woman sitting next to her and nursing her beer.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Maura spoke, softly. Said stranger turned to her, placing her beer back on the counter.
“Me neither,” She said with a shrug. “But it’s easier to grovel with company. Misery loves company and all that.” Maura couldn’t disagree. She already found her comforting. Her presence, although unknown, had lightened her mood just knowing there was someone to speak to if need be. She silently acknowledged the woman’s words with a nod before taking a moment.
“I’m Maura.” Her neck craned to face the woman. She gave Maura a half- hearted smile. It was obviously forced, and purely for her sake but was appreciated nonetheless. The honey blonde noted the dimples and the deep, sunken bags under her eyes.
“I’m Jane.” Jane turned back to her beer, staring at the perspiring bottle before taking a long sip. That was all they did for what felt like hours, enjoying each other’s company despite being complete strangers. She knew nothing about this woman or the struggles that had brought her to the bar in the first place, yet she was sitting content in a bar stool in her presence. Maura wondered if Jane felt the same. She would’ve left if she didn’t, right? She quietly examined the woman. She was wearing a black suit, dark red v neck clinging to her body underneath her jacket. Jane gave off very masculine vibes, not just in her wardrobe choices but in the way she sat. She was what people would call, manspreading as she sipped her beer. Hazel eyes fell upon a badge that was settled on her hip. It read ‘Police Detective. Boston Police Department.’
Oh. Maura wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it wasn’t that. The idea that she was an officer made her feel even more secure and after a few more minutes of palpable silence, she finally spoke.
“Phillip.” Jane put down her beer and gave Maura her full attention. She felt her heart swell. Maura couldn’t remember the last time anyone had paid actual attention to her. “His name was Phillip. Would have been Phillip.
“I’m a medical examiner at a hospital.” There was no need to impart to many details. Although she was a detective and could probably find her after a couple of keyword searches. “It was maybe two hours ago that I was finishing up an autopsy when another body was wheeled in. It’s not uncommon to get bodies at that time of night since it is common for drunk drivers to emerge at that time. So I finished up before moving onto her. I usually don’t even chance a glance at the people who end up on my table before prepping my tools to prevent guessing. I hate guessing.” Jane chuckled at this. It lightened the mood of the conversation a little.
“But for some reason, I looked and saw movement. That’s when I realized she was pregnant.” Maura heard a soft ‘oh, god’ escape Jane’s lips. “I knew that babies could only survive for so long after their carriers have died so I called my assistant to help me. I performed an emergency c-section and got him out. A healthy pink baby boy with black hair and brown eyes. He wasn’t crying but I knew he was fine because his heart was beating and…” Maura paused, sniffling as the memories of what had occurred washed over her.
“And his little fist held on with all its strength to my finger. As if it were the only thing keeping him from joining his mother. I don’t know how he was even alive, it had to have taken at least five minutes to get to the hospital, and he should’ve lost oxygen after one. He was a fighter, and besides everything he was healthy.” Hazel eyes settled on her glass before downing the whole thing in one gulp. Maura could feel the warmth from the alcohol pooling in her belly. “So I ran up the stairs to the pediatric ward where they should’ve been able to give him a proper check up. I handed him off to the doctor, just happy that I’d made it to the floor in time for him to get checked, but I was careless. I didn’t even think to check whose hands I was passing him to.
“I went back down to the morgue to perform a proper autopsy on his mother and not even an hour later, they’re wheeling him down on a gurney, covered by a white sheet. When I saw it, I just knew. I knew it was him and...and I was so hurt. I’ve never cried over the people that end up on my table but he was innocent. I delivered him, I was the first to hold him, the first to touch his soft skin and inhale his newborn baby smell. Never in my life had I ever felt so much love and compassion for someone I’d barely known but here was this little bundle of joy that had stolen my heart from the moment I pulled him out and wrapped him up. Then, just like that, he was gone. It wasn’t fair and I know it wasn’t his time. He was healthy and strong and there was no reason for him not to leave the hospital and live a good, long life. It was negligence, medical error. I handed him to a murderer, a doctor known for his mistakes. I didn’t even look at his face. I might as well given him to the devil himself.” Now she was sobbing, tears pouring down her cheeks. Jane intertwines their fingers, her thumb rubbing over the top of her hand in a comforting motion. It was working and Maura’s sobs were becoming more controlled. She was glad Jane was there.
“Then I called their next of kin, her husband and his father. I explained everything, held his hand as he sobbed. He was young, expecting his first child. I explained my role and how his son had died purely due to medical error. I may be a doctor, loyal to the hospital, but I never lie. I pushed him to sue, to get justice for his son. He agreed and thanked me. He thanked me. I have no idea why. I killed his son.” For the first time since she’d begun talking, Jane spoke.
“Hey, you didn’t kill anyone, Maura.” Her name sounded so good coming from her lips. “You did everything you were supposed to, gave his son a taste of the real world. He may have had to leave but at least he left knowing how it felt to be loved by someone because although you only knew him for a handful of minutes, you loved him, Maura. He deserved that. He got that. And he may be angel floating in the sky right now, but his soul will find its way back down here. At least that’s what I like to believe.” Jane said, smile stretching across her face. This one was real, not forced and stopped Maura’s breakdown as she stared into reassuring brown eyes. They sat there for a couple minutes as Maura recollected herself. When she’d cleaned herself up and stared at her front camera in horror over the horrid state of her eye makeup-much to Jane’s amusement- she turned to the brunette woman. She sighed, dropping her head to stare at her beer bottle.
“Guess it’s my turn, huh?” Unlike Maura, Jane stayed strong as she spoke of the death of her fellow detective. A friend of hers who’d died in a car accident. She spoke fondly of him, talking about their memories together and how he would always throw up at crime scenes, how amazing he was with computers. How much she loved him as if he were her own brother. She held back her tears as she spoke of how she never thought he would die from something as simple as a car accident seeing as their job was to catch killers. She spoke about how he’d always wanted her to speak at his funeral and didn’t know how she would manage. Maura reassured her that she spoke very eloquently despite her sadness and would do fine. Jane had given her a wet chuckle with a soft ‘thank you’
“My family and friends tried so hard to get me to open up, but I couldn’t. Yet, here I am talking to a stranger. I just don’t know how to feel. I feel numb, as if I can’t feel anything. It’s like no one’s there to make me feel again.” Once again, Maura was unsure what controlled her actions when she took Jane’s hand and placed it on her cheek. She could feel the rough raised skin of a scar in the middle of it but decided it was best to not ask. The detective turned to her, dark brown eyes meeting light hazel ones.
“I’m here, Jane.” She turned as Jane began to run her thumb over her cheek, nuzzling her nose into the brunette’s palm. “I can help you feel.”
~R&I~R&I~
That’s how they’d ended up tipsy and stumbling across the threshold into Maura’s house, lips locked in a passionate embrace as Maura kicked the door closed behind them. Jane’s jacket had already somehow been discarded, laying on the floor next to the door as she quickly grabbed Maura and lowered her lips to the woman’s once again. The doctor moaned, wrapping one leg around the detective’s. The brunette soon began to assault her neck, dotting kisses on the exposed skin and creating marks in some places. Maura reached for Jane, pulling away to once again capture her lips when she pulled away. She gave the detective a questioning look.
“Do you have a place I can put my gun and badge?” Her eyes dropped to the belt where she held her utilities. Right.
“Uhh…Yes? I mean, yes, I do. I have a safe. Over there.” It was awkward. All that heat and touching slowly fading away into realization. The weird atmosphere was dispelled by Jane’s chuckle. Maura watched as the brunette sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She made her way towards the safe, Jane in tow.
“What a mood killer. I just wanted to make sure no one got hurt. It’s never good to leave a weapon lying around.”
“I agree. I wouldn’t appreciate being injured in the throes of passion neither.” Maura opened the safe and told Jane the code before locking her belt in there.
“Now,” Jane smiled, turning to Maura. The blonde could see the lust in her eyes and gulped as she approached. “Let’s continue.” Maura yelped as Jane picked her up, hands on her ass as the brunette walked them towards the couch. She wrapped her legs around the tall woman and captured her lips in a kiss, excited by how strong she was. The brunette had lifted her as if she’d weighed close to nothing and Maura wasn’t sure what it was about it that had her panties growing damp. Jane lowered her onto the couch, hovering in between the blonde’s legs. Maura was the one to lean up and capture her lips in between hers. Jane kisses her back eagerly, pulling her impossibly closer as Maura’s toned legs wrapped around her. Jane grinded her pelvis into Maura’s. The doctor’s moan turned into a gasp when what she felt wasn’t at all what she expected. Maura pulled away, catching her breath as brown eyes gave her a concerned look.
“You-you have a penis?” Damn. That wasn’t what she meant to say. Sometimes she wished she wasn’t so straightforward. Jane nodded slowly, pulling away. Maura almost whined at the loss of contact.
“Maybe it should have mentioned that.” She chuckled, but it held no humor. “I’ll just go.” The detective tried to stand but Maura grabbed her wrist and yanked her back onto the couch before straddling her. Her skirt was now pushed up onto her thighs, leaving her panty clad sex situated right on top of the bulge in Jane’s pants. Jane moaned at the contact.
“It’s not a problem,” Maura whispered, her lips were so close that she could feel their breath mingling in the little space between them. “I was just surprised, is all.” With that, their lips clashed in a wet kiss. It was by no means gentle as teeth clashed. Jane nibbled on her bottom lip, driving Maura crazy and causing her to push her tongue past thin pink lips. The two women moaned as tongues mingled. It felt good. It felt good to just be there together, to have someone to touch and to hear make such amazing noises. She could feel the blonde under her fingertips, impossibly smooth skin and small hips. She was real.m and she could feel her. Jane could also feel Maura tugging at her belt with nimble fingers before undoing her slacks. There were no words for how good it felt when said woman freed her from the confines of her pants and began to stroke her.
“M-Maura.” She panted. Maura stroked her before taking Jane’s hand and placing over her sex.
“Touch me, Jane.” Jane felt dizzy as her hands touched Maura’s wetness. Not to mention the fact that the woman’s small hand was swirling over the top of her cock.
“Wait, Maura.” Her hand stopped moving, her eyes darted up to Jane in confusion. “Bedroom?”
“Upstairs.” Jane scooped her up once again, this time giving her ass a little squeeze as they rushed upstairs. When they got into the bedroom, Maura immediately reached to undress herself. Jane chuckled.
“No rush. We have all the time in the world.”
“I’m going to Paris on Monday.” She said with a frown. Jane only smiled and hovered above her. She moved to push a stray piece of hair behind Maura’s ear.
“We still have tonight.”
“And tomorrow.” Maura added. With a smile, Jane captured her lips.
~R&I~R&I~
“William, hurry!” The little girl yelled from outside the bathroom.
“I’m sorry! I’m nervous.” He said, finally leaving the restroom.
“I am, too, but you don’t see me taking twenty minutes in there.” She frowned.
“Mommy is going to be so mad when she finds out we skipped school, Maddie.” William shook at the thought of his mother’s disappointed face. She never got angry or yelled at them but her looks and speeches were enough.
“Or...she’ll be happy that we found our other mother and decide not to ground us.” He gave her a look of disbelief. “You’re right, she’d never do that. But we should be back home before school is even out if everything goes right.” He sighed.
“Okay. Where are we going?” His sister grinned.
“Boston Police Department.”