Work Text:
It had been raining most of the day.
Most of the time, this would have been a rather admirable effort on the part of the nature to ruin Dino's mood. He wasn't a big fan of rain. There were times when he could ignore it – most of the situations involving Kyouya – but most of the time it made him tempted to lock himself up in a room and sulk until the sky cleared. Today, however, the weather had little effect on him. He had been miserable long before the heavy clouds had first gathered overhead.
He wasn't sure whether it was fortunate or not that others seemed well aware of his moodiness right from the first hours of morning. Everyone, even Romario, seemed to be walking on eggshells around him. Of course, the way he had snapped at some of his men before breakfast might have had something to do with it.
By now, they were well into the afternoon, each passing hour making Dino's mood even fouler. The rain was getting worse, too, a heavy downpour right beyond his window, obscuring his view of the garden. Not that he noticed, anyway. For the most part, Dino found himself staring off into the distance, well beyond the walls of his office.
Tsuna called at some point, he wasn't sure when, he didn't pay attention. The young Don Vongola sounded careful, as though he were hesitant to approach Dino, not that one could blame him. They hadn't heard anything, Tsuna told him, but he was sure everything was all right, Kyouya-san would be just fine and Tsuna sent his regrets that the mission had dragged on so long and it had most certainly not been his intention. Dino listened, he might have said something in return but afterwards he didn't know what, feeling hollow in the inside in the wake of Tsuna's words.
Tsuna sent his regrets. It was easy for him to say. He was not the one who kept turning towards the door at the slightest sound and then was disappointed as it didn't open to admit the man he was waiting for.
He got some work done though not much, not that Romario thought to scold him for it. In fact, his right-hand man told him to let it be, don't worry about that Boss, not today. Dino didn't listen to him, trying to go through the piles of paper like the dutiful don that he was. Why should today be any different from any other day? There was no point in celebrating if Kyouya was not there with him. Without him, this was just another day.
Dino glanced at the ring in his hand, sighing. A year. It had been a year since he had first worn it on his hand. A year since he had sworn to be faithful always, in sickness and in health, to love and honour all the days of his life. A year since Kyouya had taken that very same vow, had allowed Dino to slide a ring onto his finger, a visible claim unlike any other.
It was their first anniversary, and he had no idea where on Earth Kyouya was.
Dino threw his pen down more than set it, unable to take any more of the menial matters. Pushing his chair away from his desk, he stood up, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. It did him no good to feel mad or hurt or disappointed. If he had anyone to blame for his loneliness on this day of all days, it was himself.
The last time he had seen Kyouya, he had been shouting after him, feeling angry and betrayed. Kyouya hadn't responded, hadn't even looked back. At the time, he had been too angry to think of anything but his own hurt feelings.
Now he realized that if something happened – if Kyouya didn't return – those would be the last words he had ever said to the man he loved more than anything. The thought was enough to make him sick.
He was the most despicable kind of a creature, Dino decided. Treating his lover like that... it wasn't a wonder that Kyouya had just marched off. Perhaps, if he had stayed calm, they could have negotiated. He didn't think he could have convinced Kyouya not to go, but perhaps he might have been persuaded to choose a mission that wouldn't take him away for quite so long. Something that would have allowed him to return in time.
Now, he wasn't sure if Kyouya planned to return at all. He had always hated feeling caged, after all. Trying to hold him back was the easiest way to drive him away.
And Dino had done it, he alone. He hadn't even needed any help breaking the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Crossing the room with heavy steps, he paused at the window, looking out into the rain. For a second he could have almost sworn he saw a shadow moving under the heavy pour, his heart leaping beyond hope, then realized it was just one of the guards, unfortunate enough to be stuck on duty in such weather. With a deep sigh, he took a seat on the broad window sill, leaning his head against the window. It was cold to touch, he noted, drawing a hand across the surface, a fine mist covering an area near his face at each of his breaths.
"I wish I knew where you are," he murmured, well aware nobody would hear his words. "I wish I could bring you back to me. I wish I could have you by my side, now and always..."
Except that was the problem, wasn't it. He had tried to keep Kyouya by his side against his will. He had let his fears come before his lover's freedom, had failed to honour his needs and wishes, and because of that, Kyouya had left.
Well done, Dino Cavallone. You took one vow more important than anything in your life, and in under a year, you managed to shatter it.
A choked sob escaped his throat. He wasn't even sure what was the worst, the uncertainty of Kyouya's location, when even Tsuna didn't know where or how he was, or the bitter knowledge that even if he had known where Kyouya was, nothing he could have done would have brought his precious skylark home before he wanted to return. If he wanted to return.
His skylark. His Kyouya. His husband.
It was their first anniversary and he was alone.
Had Dino been a more religious person, he might have prayed, prayed for Kyouya's safe return, or at least his safety. However, that would have felt more like sacrilege than anything. What right did he, the don of a family, have to hope for God to listen to his pleas? He had broken all the commandments, all of them and more. He had long since chosen to carve his own path, heedless of the wishes of any deity or higher power. It would have been shameless of him to now turn to them as he found his powers lacking to fix his own mistakes.
But even if he had earned all the vengeance of the heavens, was that a reason to punish Kyouya as well?
The ring looked dull in the grey light of the evening rain. Somewhere out there, he thought, was the man he loved more than anything in the world. Somewhere out there, Kyouya was alone, too. Somewhere too far for him to reach.
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
"Please, Kyouya," he whispered, fingertip tracing the trail of a drop of water down the window glass. "You don't have to forgive me. You don't even have to come home... just please be safe tonight."
Outside the rain continued, unchanging, never paying any heed to his pleas.