Archive of Our Own

Haru POV

The rain

and my luck didn't want me to go home early today. I didn't bring my folded green umbrella, even though I always prepared it the day before and placed it in my bag. Rain had been coming so often I always brought my umbrella with me. But because of certain things, I forgot to put it inside my bag.

Getting soaked like this and running around searching for shelter was nothing compared to the event that happened last night. I could feel the edge of my mouth turned upside when the flash of memory came to my mind. You could say that it was something particularly interesting. But I didn't have the time to played it in my mind because the rain started to wet my hair.

In front of me, I saw a small café that had a terrace. And thankfully the terrace spot had ceilings covering the outdoor tables and chairs. It seemed like the lady luck-or what everyone had believed- hadn't left me completely alone today. I breathed, relieved that finally I found a place to shelter. Hoping that the owner of the café wouldn't mad at me I dashed, putting my bag on top of my head to cover it. It was going to be bad if I started to get a cold. After all, my piled up schedules required me to stay in my best condition.

I got there safely even though my coat was quite soaked from the sudden rain. It was sunny just few minutes ago, and yet now it poured. Drops of water showering the ground like it had no restrain. I could never know when it was going to rain. Not like my group partner, Hajime, who had a sensitive sense of smelling, he told me that when it was going to rain the air started to change, smelled different-he mumbled while watching the sky over the windows. Like a mud and a poodle of water. I didn't understand what he meant and stuck to my habit of checking the weather forecast every single day on my phone. Like science book, always logical was my virtue.

Taking of my coat and placed it on my left arm, I saw my surroundings. Tables and chairs with no one that sat on them. I was basically alone. Of course there was no one who took this pedestrian route when it was in the middle of the day. I wonder how the café was going to get by because it was built in this small road. It wasn't even open right now-

'Clinking'

I turned, my head towards the front door of the café and looked at something that was really bizarre. The café which was closed a second ago was open. I took off my glasses and looked at it. Wondering if the lenses were foggy because of the rain that I couldn't see properly. But after taking a look on it, it was still clear without fog nor dust. And thus, I used it again and took a proper look of the café.

The orange light inside of it looked very warm to me who was feeling cold. And the decorations looked very beautiful even if I saw it here from outside. Making me remember that time when I had photo shoot with my group in the café. Hajime looked exactly like a real bartender when he was wearing the costume that had been prepared for them.

And when I imagined Hajime was the one who opened the door at the photo shoot location, I just noticed that the front door of the café was opened by a boy with white skin and black hair. As if he knew a customer was outside, he came out and looked at me who still frozen at my spot. Like a deer caught in the headlights, his appearance was making my heart panicked.

"Hajime..."

I didn't realize that I let out that name out of my shocked state. It came out in a whisper and I believed that the boy in front of me couldn't hear it. But why he looked so shocked when he saw me too?

"Sir, you're drenched. Please come in, I'll bring out a towel for you."

'Why he even sounds like Hajime?!!!'

I questioned my insanity right now. I had known that there was a myth that there were seven people in the world who looked exactly like you. But I didn't know that it would include the voice too. It was kind of impossible. No, it was definitely impossible. My internal self was freaking out right now even though my face looked quite calm.

"Thank you for your concern. You don't have to trouble yourself. If you don't mind, please let me stay here until the rain stop," I politely replied to him. It was enough for me if he let me took a shelter here on the terrace for a moment. I didn't want to wet the café's floor and made more trouble for him.

But it looked like he was the type who wouldn't listen, and with firm yet hurried steps he walked to my side. "Please, I insist. It's night already, and you're going to catch cold waiting here. Come inside."

'W-wait, why he said it's already night? It's certainly still afterno-," I turned my back and saw the sky, "?????!"

The sky that was supposed to be quite sunny even though it was raining had turned so dark as if it was already past eight PM. Though, the scenery didn't change and so was the rain. It was still downpour and there was no sign it would stop anytime soon.

'God. That's why the café's lighting look so bright.'

I checked my wristwatch and surely it didn't betray what my eyes had seen. The clock was turning into 8.50 PM, stunning me on the spot. What happened with my luck today? My friend had said that today was my lucky day. But look at these odds that happened to me right now.

I looked at my right and my left, searching for THAT friend of mine who said I was lucky. A white haired man called Shimotsuki Shun who supposed to do all this magic and tricks. It was impossible for me to experience these things when he wasn't involved. And yet after spending a few seconds of looking for him, I found nothing except myself and the guy who looked like a spitting image of Hajime in his teenage days.

"Sir, are you looking for something? Did you lost your phone? I can help you looking for it." The boy asked me, wondering what I was doing. Is this even okay if I called him a boy?

I picked up my bag and turned to him, "No, please don't worry. It was nothing serious." IT IS though.

He led me to the café and opened the door for me like a good worker he was. And then after I took my seat on one of the bar tools, he left me for a moment and then came back with a white towel in his hand. He looked so stiff when he handed me that towel. I was also smiled awkwardly when I received that towel and said my thanks. Of course I would be awkward when I saw him. He was 100% looked like Mutsuki Hajime.

'I'm sure I'm not a pedophile. But, why my heart beats faster?!'

I couldn't help but to stare at him. He was turning his back to me and walking toward the counter bar in front of me. He picked up a glass and poured a hot tea. The smell of my favorite flavor was filling my nose and making me relaxed. It was too much of a coincidence if that tea was going to have the same taste of what I usually drank at the dorm.

"Please drink this to warm yourself." He said that with a slight smile. And I was pretty sure that that was genuine. Hajime rarely smile to a stranger. He always put up a guard like he was expecting an attack from them. Okay, Haru, please stop thinking that this boy was the same person as Hajime.

But, as someone who couldn't suppress my curiosity, I asked him the thing I wanted to know. Maybe coincidence really could happen, maybe this meeting was something that had meant to be. "I didn't know how to say this but I'm really grateful that I found this cafe. If It's okay with you-

"May I know your name?"
"May I know your name?"

Huh? I laughed when the boy in front of me blurted out the same thing as me. My heart picked up its pace. Beating out loud.

I looked up at him and smiled when I found out that he was embarrassed. Maybe because he just realized that he was saying his mind out without knowing. "I'm sorry, I should've introduce myself first. I'm-"

I stopped. This situation was somewhat frightening. I didn't know whether It was alright to said my real name. No matter how I looked at him, he was Hajime. And this was the time when he was working on a café bar and hiding it from me. I knew about that because Hajime finally said it to me recently. Then, this was the past that I had accidentally walking in. No doubt about it. There was a time when I always thought that if I ever had a time to come back to the past I wouldn't want to change anything, not even wanting to peek at where Hajime was working in, afraid that it would affect the future that I had.

The boy looked worried because I was suddenly stop introducing myself, "Sir, if you have anemia I have the medicine inside those cabinet. I'm going to pick it-"

"Oh, no, it's alright. I'm just a little tired." I gave him my smile again, trying to reassure him. What should I do? Telling my name or not? And now something added the weight if my mind. Why Hajime stored that medicine? Did he secretly had anemia since he was young? Was that why he never held back and went to sleep every time he had the time? I needed to calm myself down from this questions. It might be the one that the café owner had. Because I never saw Hajime took that medicine before.

"That's... If you said so, sir. And if you don't want me to know your name it's fine. Don't worry about it." He said that and continued to pick some bottles and made a drink. He looked so dejected. And I didn't care anymore, all I wanted was to know more about him. And hopefully, hopefully, nothing would change in the future.

"Um, will you promise me something? Please don't be that stiff, I'm the one who was being awkward here. I know it's weird but please promise me if I said my name then you will say yours." I stared at him, serious with what I was saying. Knowing Hajime, he would never give me his name because he had intended to keep this job as a secret from me. Even if it was the me from the future that met him.

And after a few seconds of thinking, he nodded his head. Agreed to my wish. I took a breath and said, "You won't believe me, but my name is Haru, Yayoi Haru."

"?!!!!!"

Ah, look. His pupil dilated. And he nearly dropped a vodka bottle in his hand. It was a café bar after all, I shouldn't be shocked when I saw Hajime holding any kind of alcohol bottles in his hands.

"You're joking." He said that truthfully.

"Which part of my face that looks like I'm not Haru?" I bite back and he fell silent. Since the first time he saw me he couldn't hide the baffled look he was having, and right then he should've thought that I was probably the same person as his Haru.

He looked intently at my face and then down to my body. Staring at me with his intense gaze. I gulped. Finding that his stare was burning me.

"If you stare at me like that, I will think that you're checking me out right now, boy."

"NO."

"Sure, you're not." I shrugged my shoulders. Boys and their rage when they were called as boy. And then I emptied my tea. It was definitely something that only Hajime could make. That was why it stayed on my top list of favorite beverages. I placed the glass down and asked again, "So? I've said my name and as promised-"

"Haru isn't vulgar like you." What?! Vulgar? It seemed like Hajime still questioned me because I sounded like I was flirting with him. If only this boy knew-and I really wanted him to know actually, it was all his fault that I had became like this. It had became a hobby of mine to tease him because he was giving me the exact reaction that I wanted.

I chuckled. I closed my eyes for a moment and reminiscing that happy days spending my time with Hajime. "I know. I was so bright and quiet pure, and sometimes just loved to tease you a little. Ah... I miss those days." And when I opened my eyes and looked at the boy he didn't look convinced. I sighed.

Should I use the last resort?

"Ne, Hajime." I started to sound like I was judging him. "You hide this job from Haru, don't you?"

In a second he started to avert his gaze. I know I was spot on. But it seemed like I had hurt him when I blurted it out nonchalantly like that. I was not someone who easily held a grudge, especially against Hajime. But he was the one who put me in the corner here, and thus I had to say that so he would believe I was the Haru that he knew.

I had the patience to wait for his answer. Honestly, I had one hell of patience to wait if it was for Hajime. It was something I should compliment about myself. But at the same time I didn't need this boy to answer me. Because I had been sure that he was really Hajime. First, because he couldn't answer that question which I threw at him. Should I go back to the dorm? But how? As I pondering what I should do I heard the boy answer.

"You... really are Haru." He had this hard expression on his face. I didn't know what he was thinking. Did he feel guilty? Or did he thought that I was going to be angry at him because he hid his job from me?

Shrugging my shoulders, "Don't look at me like that. You know, I never blame him for this. When Hajime finally told me about this job I just accepted his choice. That's like... the only thing I could do. Make him comfortable as he build his path and what he believes. Ah, I mean, the older Hajime." I explained to him, and he let out a sigh of relief.

I still didn't know why he was really insisting on keeping this job as a secret. I had thought that there wasn't any downside if he ever told me that he was working back then. It was normal for every high school students to have part-time jobs to earn pocket money because they wanted to buy something.

But Hajime wasn't any normal high school boy. He was rich to the point that he didn't need to work at all if he wanted. I had looked at his T-shirt collections, it were nothing but branded stuff that he got for himself. And that was why I had decided when I met this younger Hajime I wanted to ask properly about his reason to work.

"I couldn't believe that he finally said about this to Haru." He spoke like he was talking to himself. The tone was between relief and distress. There was always a lot in his mind, and even as we got older he was rarely giving me much responsibilities. I wanted him to lean on me and ease his thoughts, but alas, he was still like this stiff younger Hajime sometimes. "Ne, Haru, what's your relationship with him? I mean, the older me."

"Blunt as always. You're definitely the Hajime I know."

"I. Am. Hajime. Now, there's no need of formal speaking. Tell me, Haru." There. He finally said it himself. And that demanding tone... Ah I really miss Hajime now. He might be sleeping in our dorm right now. Honestly I didn't want him to know about his older self and my relationship with him. It could spoil the fun. But there was no harm in teasing him about it.

I leaned closer to him as if I wanted to tell a secret. While giving him my shady smile I said, "What do you think we are? You on top? Or me?"

He blushed. His cheeks were red. He definitely wasn't used to me acting like this. I bet my image in his head was shattering into pieces and changed into something new. Now, I couldn't help but wanted to know what he would do when he met my younger self tomorrow. Would he dare to look at my face? Or would he escape the younger me who was very attached to him? It was going to be interesting.

He turned his back to me and took a long breath and then exhaling it. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to control his expression. It wasn't the first time I saw Hajime did this. It had became his habit when he needed to say calm.

"You have a long way to go. And I don't want to spill it out. I just want to ask something because it's really impossible to get this chance of meeting you again." My words made him turned again to me. He was giving me a questioned look.

"Right. How could you turn back to this time?"

"Hm... I also wonder about that. But, you'll meet someone who can do this when you're older. Only the problem is, I never asked him to bring me here. I didn't even know if Hajime also told him that he used to, I mean, you used to work here." I hope that my explanation made a sense to Hajime. Because I knew that it surely didn't made sense to me at all.

"Someone can do this? You're joking." Now he looked quite excited. Even though it was only his eyes that showed me that he was.

"Yes, you'll meet him. And probably going to be irked by him at first. And yet, you're spending too much time with him lately that it makes me-" I cut my sentence, realized that I had risen my voice and palmed my hand tightly. There was no point in hiding my relationship with Hajime if I suddenly acted like this.

I took a breath and toned my voice down. "Yeah, that's it. You're basically going to be best friends. Sometimes I still doubt that you two are just friends. It's quite ambiguous when people looking at both of you. Everyone will admit that you two look cute together-"

"You're jealous?" Hajime cut me from my babbling. I hate myself when I did that because I was getting emotional. But I also wonder if I started to dislike how Hajime always bluntly said the most crucial part. I nodded, looking down at my empty cup. Didn't know how I should phrase the emotions running in me.

And when I was still thinking about how I was bothered by my jealousy, I heard a laughter. I looked up, finding Hajime laughing so hard that it made him held his stomach. "Eh? Hajime, what are you laughing about? It's not funny at all."

He kept laughing until he couldn't anymore. After he stopped, he erased the tears that was on his eyes. Really, what was funny about me being jealous? I was really worried about how I turned this obsessive over this raven.

"And when I always thought you never felt this way about me... I just, never expected that you'll become like this." He snorted, grinned, and then continued to pour something into a bottle shaker and shaking it.

I inhaled the oxygen to calm myself and smiled tightly at how embarrassing my older self was, "Sorry about that."

Hajime glanced at me for a bit, and then continued to focus on his hands that was still shaking the bottle while replying me. "Nah, it's fine. I thought it's just me that feel that way."

Huh?

Why would Hajime feel like that? Don't tell me he's already...

I looked up, through my lenses I saw how pretty the image in front of me. Hajime was there, smiling as his eyes turned into moonlight. His eyes never left the bottle as his expression turned softer when the lighting in the room hit his face. It dawned on me like a storm, I didn't misheard anything. The raven haired boy was confessing to me, the younger me. And it was surprising at how young this Hajime was when he knew those feelings.

This, was too good to be a dream.

"I thought, I'm the only one suffering." He told me with a dry smile. He stopped shaking that bottle and opened the lid, pouring the liquid to a tall glass. It seemed like he was going to make a cocktail.

This talk, again. The older Hajime had told me that he was feeling lonely that was why he took this job to pass the time. But I want to know more. There was probably some secrets hidden between those simple reason. Hajime always hid behind a tough wall, hard enough that he only said the truth when we was already so older enough to be calm about everythings. "I don't remember neglecting you."

"You did." He turned and picked up another bottle that had blue color. It was probably blue Curacao. I know all this type of drinks because of the same person in front of me.

"I did?" I replied, but I kept on looking at how he looked so good being a bartender. His movement was so smooth and it made me want to taste the drinks he made. Did he intend to drink that? It was troubling me when I had to think that this young man got tipsy without me knowing. He was still under the legal age to be drunk. And what the owner was thinking when he recruited an underage as a bartender?!

Oh dear. I wanted to scold Hajime right now.

Hajime just glanced at me who was looking at him intently, and then back to his job. He sighed. And then talked in a soft tone, "...or maybe it's just me who feel that we haven't spent enough time together- Don't laugh!"

Ah...I really shouldn't be here right now. Looking at the same person saying what their heart desired with a different expression. It was too precious when Hajime being honest like this. "I don't. I'm just smiling."

"Your shady smile is just the same as laughing."

"Hai, hai, I understand. Then, why don't you tell him that?" This, I wonder if he would tell me why. Hajime never said anything aside being lonely. Maybe because he was already a grown up, and telling me the truth was going to make him more embarrassed than he already was.

The young Hajime stopped his movement. "...you know it isn't that easy. Wondering why I feel like this towards a friend is definitely weird. To top it off, it's a male friend. If I ever said it, I might sound like I want to cut all his ties with his friends," he averted his gaze to his right, "which is probably true. But, I don't want him to hate me and stop being my friend if he ever found out I'm like this. He is... the only friend that I have."

"A friend, huh..." I said it out without thinking. It was meant to myself though.

Hajime looked at me, "I guess I spoke too much." I had known that I needed to be patience because he was still a teenage boy. He had to learn this thing by himself. I remembered that time at the dorm, when we finally talked things out and figured out how abnormal we already were at high school. It was too obvious for people's eyes to know that we had a thing for each other and yet it took that long for us to elope.

I never thought I was that dumb until I saw the boy in front of me who clearly hinted that he liked me more than a friend. If I could, I wanted to slap my young self and forced him to confess soon instead of waiting for years.

"Please, feel free to talk with me. I really want to know more." I really do.

Crossing his hands, he stared at me. "You want to use this chance to blackmail me later?"

"God. Of course not. Why you ever think like that? I just said I love to tease, blackmail is far more than that. I don't do that to you." I spoke the truth to him. But he caught what it really meant.

"SO, you already DID IT to another. I wonder how could Haru turned to such a scary and flirty old man like you."

I was shocked. Really, Hajime and his sarcasm that never died. "I'm not that old! I just turned twenty three this year."

He smirked, and then dropped on his knees to bring out a knife and a lemon from the lower cabinets. "I know, I'm just picking a fight."

He stood again and cut the lemon. And then he squeezed it using another tool. I figured out what he wanted to make. It was Fruit Tingle Cocktail. A combination of vodka, blue curacao, lemonade, and dash of raspberry cordial. It looked like a gradation of blue and grey, making this drink quite popular because it looked like a galaxy and easy to drink. At least it was easy for me.

Finished making the drink, Hajime gave it to me. But I didn't expect what he was saying when giving me the cocktail, "You look good growing your hair like that."

Hearing Hajime's compliment was like hearing that I had won a jackpot. It was that rare and I should be grateful. "It's for a commercial shooting. We're currently working as idols right now. Sounds silly, right? It's not even that different from it was when I was in high school. You also look handsome wearing your hair down too. You even grew your side bangs." I imitated how long it was with my hand around my neck.

"I grow my hair? Let me take a look." I picked up my phone and show our latest photo shoot a week ago. Hajime's stylist kept telling him that he should wear his hair down because it looked pretty and it made him irked. But when I convinced him that it really looked good on him, he finally gave up. While for me, the stylist tied my hair up in ponytail. And since I grew to like it, I occasionally tied up my hair like today.

"Don't you think I become more feminine with long bangs? Tell him to cut it off." Just like that. He said it exactly like that a week ago.

"No way! I love it. I spend so much time to convince him to not cut them off." I would never ever told Hajime to cut it off. But, maybe, if there was a demand from works then it couldn't be helped.

The boy in front of me looked at how persistent I was and then he said, "Then... I guess he can keep it."

"Thank you, Hajime!" I said that with such a joy in my tone and he smiled back at me. He took a tool and sat on it across me. The cocktail that he made was sitting beautifully as he told me to drink it. And without further ado I sipped it. Tasting the liquid in my tongue as it slowly burned my throat. It was good, really good. Honestly it was better than when he made it to me recently. Maybe because he didn't have time to practice this things inside the dorm. Our group didn't drink that much and we rarely went out to a bar.

It was Hajime who continued the conversation. "It's weird when we're talking about each other like this. It's easier to praise you instead of the one that I know."

My hands reached out to his hand, "Then, shall we date each other instead?" I winked at him, and my hand suddenly being twisted in a flash. "Hurts, it hurts,, arghh....stop. Hajime, forgive me."

"I will call my older self and pretending to be your secret lover, then I will tell him to keep a distance from you." He still didn't let go of his held when saying that. And I was freaking out.

"Anything but that, please." I pleaded for him. Afraid that this boy really going to do that. I had learned the hard way to never underestimate Hajime when he was going rampant.

Hajime let go of his held and I finally could breath. I massaged my hand. It was really hurt. But even if it hurt, people had known that I would tease Hajime again and again. It had turned into a bad habit. And when I still massaged my hand, Hajime told me a request. "Then, can you make Haru spend more time with me without me telling him?"

"Like I said before, I don't have the ability to do that. It's a given that I spent my time doing the student council works. It's you who doesn't want to accept being a member right? Ah, then why don't you help him getting his work done?" The pain in my hand already gone and I looked at him in the eyes. Seriously giving out an advice.

He looked troubled and ruffled his own hair. "I've done that...but it ended up in a fight."

A fight?

I tried to remember why I was in a fight with Hajime. We rarely fight. But if we did, there was going to be a loud shouting at each other. After a few seconds I finally recalled. "Ah, that one where I think your idea is better than mine?"

Nod

"So, I came here to that time, huh?" I talked to myself. Was it really why I suddenly traveling into this time? To talk things out with this hot-headed boy? I asked him, "You haven't talk to him for days?"

Nod

"And you went home directly every time the school ends?"

Nod

"Can I kiss you because you look cute nodding like that?"

'GRIP'

"Urgh, urgh, okay, okay, I'm sorry. Please let go of your iron claw on my face. Fyuuuh. Listen, young man. Tomorrow, please go talk to him. I know he's regretting so much right now because of that fight. AND YOU-sorry for raising my voice, but really, oh god, please just accept the fact that your idea on that project is better, you know that Haru isn't one to back down easily. Who do you think he is? Don't underestimate him. He's not someone licking up your feet to use you." That was right. Hajime should've known that I wasn't like that. I wasn't bragging but I could tell when someone's idea was good or not. I was quite good in academic and only second to this guy.

"I don't underestimate him." He blurted back. Actually Hajime knew it himself. But he was too angry at that time that he couldn't filter what he was saying.

I remembered that day when I needed Hajime to confirm something about the school festival. I had a pretty good idea of what I was going to do to make the festival turned more interesting. And when I met him, he told me what he was thinking to improve it. I really thought that his idea was great. And without meaning any harm, I said a word that he really hate.

"As expected of the King."

And after that, the mood suddenly went down. Hajime suddenly mad at me and asked me why I was backing down from my idea and chose his instead. And when I said that his was truly better, he couldn't accept it. He told me that I was the same as everyone who thought that he was up above, and that was why I accepted his idea easily. I frowned at that. I just said what I thought as the best option. But he couldn't understand how many times I had explained to him.

I was the one at wrong too. I shouldn't call people with names without their consent. I had thought deeply about it. Maybe for him, it was like a cursed words that made him unable to befriend another. He grew up alone. And like a bird that wanted to fly, he was unable to move from his cage when everyone had put a barrier from him. That was why he grew to hate being called as that.

I gave the boy a sad smile. I really wished he would know how I felt at that time. It was as if I had lost everything. I was so afraid that Hajime would never forgive me. And who would dare to apologies when Hajime looked like he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore? It was stressing me out.

"Then, listen to my advice and have a good talk with him tomorrow. He really miss you. I don't quite remember, but knowing my younger self, I bet he's crying right now."

Hajime felt more guilty when I said that. He promised me that he will checked on Haru and talked things out. I was sure that they were going to be fine. Both of us were quite the adults even if we were still in that age. Even if they were going to argue again they couldn't be separated. Because that was what I felt when we fought. It was painful. And I was glad that the boy in front of me showed me that he felt the same.

"Good boy." I praised him and ruffled his hair. I thought this was the privilege of being older than Hajime. Usually it was him who ruffled my hair. It was fluffy, he said. And I just let him did as he please because somehow I liked the feeling of his hand on my hair.

'RRRRRR'

'RRRRRR'

The boy and I looked at my phone that was on the table. On the screen I could see Hajime's photo with me. It was a photo that I took when he was sleeping in my white sweater. It looked too big on him that one of the sleeves dropped down, showing his slender neck. While I was on his left, kissing the top of his head while taking that photo.

"You! You're shameless." I smiled hearing the boy in front of me mocking my choice of wallpaper. He leaned backwards from me and let me picked up the phone call.

I took my phone and answered it in front of him. The man on the other side sounded like he was still feeling quiet sleepy even after waking up. He was wondering why I didn't come back after two hours. It seemed like he had found out that I was leaving early because our manager had messaged him about me while also giving out our new schedules. I told him that I would check it later. But he sounded upset and told me to go back right now. Ah, how come I forgot about it? I just remembered that no one was in the dorm except Hajime right now. I chuckled, and promised him to go back soon, then with a threat of kicking me out if I didn't come soon he closed the phone.

I looked at the boy in front of me while thinking about the one who called me just now. The Hajime who was calling me just now probably feeling the same with this boy. You're dead if you leave me that long again without contacting me, Haru. Those words reverberating in my heart as the older Hajime clutched the top of my shirt after I went away to another country for two weeks with Kai. While this young Hajime... he should've been feeling lonely when I was in front of him having a great time calling my lover. It was getting easier for me to know when he felt like this. A demanding order was his option when he didn't want to be honest.

"You look really happy just now."

"I do, I really do. It may sounds exaggerating but I really think I'm the happiest man alive. Please, keep being there for Haru. He would break down if you keep this distance for a longer time. Do you feel the same as him?" I asked him again. Wanting to make sure for myself that every time I fought with Hajime, Hajime was feeling the same thing.

"It's the worst thing I've ever felt." I cupped his head with my hands and smiled at him. Promised that everything was going to be alright.

The clanking sound of bell make me turned my head to the front door. The rain had stopped and the one who entered the café bar was a white cat with long fur. It was wearing a dark blue collar ribbon. As if being reminded of the time I stood from my seat. "It seems like I really need to go back."

He looked at the cat and then back at me, disappointed. But he gave me a warm smile, "Please come again?"

I was troubled hearing that, I looked at the white cat who meowed at me. As if telling me no. "I doubt about that."

"That's...unfortunate."

I told him a thing that Shun had told me this morning,. "The fortune telling man also said that you're unlucky today."

"But, I got to meet you. That fortune teller doesn't sound legit." The boy rolled his eyes.

I tilted my head and grinned. "Who knows? You'll never know what's going to happen in your life."

I waved at him and left the café. I could feel his gaze following me. This chance was making me wanted to spend more time with him, asking everything that I've been wondering when I was that age. But, at the second thought, this was enough for me. I didn't want to ask for granted. Afraid that I would corrupt the boy and spoiled him rotten before the time came. Afraid that the more time that I asked was going to cost me more. Everything had to be equal and I didn't know whether I could pay it or not.

As I stepped out from the café, everything turned back to normal. The sky was as sunny as ever. And there was still no one going out even though the rain had stopped, maybe still feeling sluggish from the cold. I turned my back, looking at the café. It was as if I hadn't entered there since the beginning. None of the trace of wet entrance nor the warmth of the lamps that I felt just a minute ago.

But I smiled. Content with the answer that I got.

The feeling of happiness fueled my heart and brought my step faster to go back to the dorm. After having that conversation, I didn't want to waste every seconds that I have. The only thing in my mind right now was only him.

The one that was waiting for me...

The one who was easily feeling lonely...

The one that I gave my heart and my soul...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Hajime.