Chapter Text
Bars have always been a strange place for her. On Earth she used to visit them all the time with Maria to have fun, sing and dance, break a few records on the pinball machine – much to the dismay of fellow male visitors – and deal with the occasional bad pick-up lines as well as the pure sexism by other soldiers. The later obviously wasn’t any fun right in that moment but laughing about them when the night was over and they were on their way back home always had a certain appeal to it.
Without Maria, or a friend in general, the place probably would have been hell and therefore she would have never wanted to go there at all, yet when she was traveling the universe all on her own she couldn’t help but feel an urge, a certain need to go and visit a pub again. Or whatever would be the closest the nearest planet had to offer. It wasn’t the bar itself that interested her of course but rather the socializing - with literally anyone.
Occasionally when she was close enough to Earth she managed to contact Maria with the communicator on her ship yet since she had left the Skrulls, as she had found them a new home planet, she felt surprisingly lonely. At least way more than she had anticipated all those times she dreamed about living above the clouds. Of course Maria and Monica couldn’t just drop everything and travel around with her and that would have been more than fine if she had anyone else in her life she could call a friend.
She was never much of an introvert however she also couldn’t remember a phase in her life that was filled with blooming relationships of any sorts. For some reason a lot of people had a hard time dealing with her, both on Hala and on Earth, and while it sure hurt at times, she never had a problem dealing with it as she always had at least one person in her life who loved and supported her.
During her time at the academy and the year or two afterwards, she had Maria who came along with her baby daughter, making Carol feel like she not only had a friend but was a part of a family. By losing her memory and living on Hala for six years she had lost all that but had also found someone else to fill this whole in her life. Someone she trusted, who was always there for her, who became her life and whose life she became. Though now she had to live with the realization that said person probably never really cared for her in the first place.
She didn’t want to think about him, or Maria, or even herself, so one day she finally decided to visit the nearest bar she could find, willing to let all her worries go and hopefully find someone she could at least talk to for a few minutes, if not even an hour. Of course she didn’t expect or even hoped to find a friend but any and all friendly encounters were fine by her at this point.
For a human the place looked completely unrecognizable and nothing like a pub should look like but after traveling the universe for a few years – and having lived on two different planets as well – nothing surprised her anymore therefore she quickly adjusted to everything she was faced with. And, to be quite honest, while unusual for her eyes, it still somehow was a lovely place to spend a few hours at.
The evening was going well and though she was still sitting alone, just hearing the chatter of everyone else surrounding her already made her feel less lonely. It was a welcome distraction from everything on her mind and she liked listening to strangers’ conversations although she often didn’t understand what they were talking about as they mentioned planets, animals or other species she wasn’t familiar with but when someone eventually mentioned something she did know, she immediately wished the conversations would have stuck to the exotic.
“Have you heard about what happened to Yon-Rogg?”
Carol suppressed a groan. Of course she was aware of her former commander’s status among the Kree that reached far beyond Hala, after all she had witnessed him constantly getting approached and celebrated by complete strangers for several years – but this wasn’t Hala. It wasn’t even a border planet of the Kree Empire. And yet she still couldn’t escape him.
She would have called coming here at all a huge mistake due to overhearing a conversation about him but truth is she would have thought about him if she was alone on her ship anyway, so in the end it didn’t make much of a difference.
And even though she didn’t want to admit it to herself, she was almost relieved hearing from him again. She’d blame it on sheer curiosity but despite all those years she still had trouble to stop caring about him at all.
She knew she shouldn’t, he clearly didn’t deserve her affection. Not after everything he had done to her. After he lied for so many years.
Yet he still somehow meant something to her.
Sometimes, she thought ironically, she should listen to his advice and start thinking with her head not her heart, which clearly didn’t know what’s good for her in this regard.
“The Kree hero?” the man asked repulsed, chocking on a mocking laugh. No one around here was fond of the Kree which was one of the reasons she chose this planet to socialize on in the first place: to not hear of them - especially not this one certain Kree.
“Except he is no hero anymore,” the other one replied mischievously, almost as if Yon-Rogg had done something to him personally. And in fact who was Carol to know this hadn’t been the case.
It would be a lie to say she never thought about what happened to him after she sent him back to Hala. Carol was aware what a disgrace it was for a Kree warrior, let alone a commander, to return defeated instead of having died in battle. And despite being their favorite, the Supreme Intelligence surely wouldn’t be pleased he had failed to bring her or the core with him and would discipline him accordingly. Still she asked herself if she hadn’t been too nice to him since there was no way his punishment had been as bad as he deserved considering he was the leader of the warrior elite and the Intelligence couldn’t relinquish his service for too long.
Sometimes she wondered if he would try to find her to seek revenge. Yon-Rogg has never been the type for that, not once has she seen him vindictive but perhaps this person has never been the real Yon-Rogg. Who knows what else he lied about if he had no remorse lying about her past?
“What do you mean?” the man managed to mumble while drinking his beverage as his interlocutor had awoken his curiosity – just as he had awoken hers. "What happened?"
“Love apparently,” the reply was theatrically. “He betrayed his leader by choosing someone over them.”
The other guy burst into laughter: “Yon-Rogg? Where the fuck did you hear that nonsense?”
If she was still living on Hala as Vers she probably would have laughed as well. Picturing Yon-Rogg in love, let alone him choosing said person over his beloved Supremor, was just ridiculous. But the sheer thought of him made something in her stomach turn that didn’t allow for any merriment.
“From a trader!” obviously offended by getting questioned like this he leaned back.
“Trader, huh?” he chuckled. “More like a smuggler.”
“Details,” waving away the topic he returned to his original story. “It’s what’s what the Supreme Intelligence is saying.”
Carol chocked. Surely he was mistaken or the smuggler made up stories for a living.
“On a mission he found this lesser being and instead of letting them die he took them to Hala and saved their life,” he continued and despite not identifying with ‘lesser being’ the story sounded awfully familiar to her. However, Yon-Rogg had only saved her life because the Supreme Intelligence ordered him to do so; them using that against him didn’t make any sense.
“He did it against the concerns of his leader – even shared his precious Kree blood with her!” there was a certain sarcasm in his voice as neither of them believed the Kree or their blood was something special. But Carol knew how the Kree themselves felt about it. “The being was highly dangerous and Yon-Rogg really should have just let them die but instead he kept them on Hala, treated them like one of their own.”
Now she couldn’t pretend they weren’t talking about her anymore.
“The Intelligence tolerated it as long as he kept the being in check, controlled her. But instead he fell in love with them.”
No, that certainly wasn’t what had happened.
Was it?
“After years of pretending they were a Kree and fooling everyone else except the Intelligence, of course, they broke out! Acted up! Endangering every Kree on Hala,” he explained. “So he got ordered to kill them.”
“And he didn’t, I guess,” the other replied, still in disbelief.
“No. He faced them and got the chance to kill them or die trying. But he just couldn’t do it. Instead he lowered his weapons and gave up,” the laugh was almost more hurtful to her than his word. “He directly dismissed his orders because he just couldn’t do it. Kree warrior my ass. Naturally the being beat him and sent him back to Hala – where he obviously wasn’t welcome anymore.”
She felt sick.
“I’m so proud of you.” echoed through her head. The image of him not even trying to attack her and withdrawing his weapons was suddenly burned into her head. She didn’t believe him back then and still doesn’t now but what if he actually meant it?
What if he only provoked her because he wanted her to kill him? So he wouldn’t have to go back?
No, they surely were mistaken. They had to be.
Yon-Rogg was the poster boy of the Kree Empire. Never would he fall in love - especially not with a human. He lied to her. His friendship probably wasn’t even real either.
Yet she couldn’t deny that he did stop and refused to fight her.
I can’t go back empty handed.
Maybe she should have listened to him. Ask him about everything; ask him to clarify why he lied, what was real and what wasn’t. But how could she trust what he would say? Maybe he would just use the chance to manipulate her. Or maybe he would tell her the truth and it would only confirm her fears. That he never liked her to begin with.
“So the Supreme Intelligence made sure to punish him accordingly for his failures and spread his story in the entire Empire to make an example out of him. Because feelings are the worst enemy,” the sarcasm was back as he obviously didn’t believe in the emotionless way of living the Kree loved so much and under different circumstance she would fully agree but as the horrifying realization dawned on her that Yon-Rogg most likely didn’t get an easy way out of this, she had no time to truly process this part.
“And also to humiliate him, of course.”
“Where is he?!” she had jumped up and almost yelled at them in a sudden outburst but slamming her hands onto the table they were sitting at was enough to terrify them.
A part of Carol didn’t want to hear the answer, didn’t want to know if he was dead, if she caused his death.
“What?” the raconteur stammered, looking at her sacredly as he wasn’t used to someone being this forceful – especially a complete stranger.
“Yon-Rogg!” she tried to calm herself down since there was no need to intimidate them further, or really at all. “What did the Supreme Intelligence do to him?”
“Oh eh…” he collected himself. “Well, after the usual torture Kree do, I think, he got striped off his ranks and duties and got send to one of their mining planets to work as a slave until he dies – or puts himself out of his misery.”
“They didn’t kill him?” the other one intervened surprised, speaking Carol’s thoughts out loud.
“No, the Supreme Intelligence thought that this would be too nice for him. And for once I agree with that thing.”
Instinctively Carol wanted to defend him, tell them they were wrong and should shut up, Vers was still a part of her after all, but she held herself back. She needed this guy’s knowledge and snapping at him surely wouldn’t make him eager to share it with her.
Something inside of her told her to just go and leave this planet and the thought of Yon-Rogg behind forever however she just couldn’t. Deep down Carol had always known that the lying wasn’t per se Yon-Rogg’s fault, he must have been instructed by the Intelligence to lie and telling her the truth would have only resulted in the death of both of them, but that didn’t stop her from feeling hurt and betrayed. He had been her best friend, her only friend, for six years. They had spent pretty much every waking moment together, shared everything with each other. There was no one she had ever trusted this much, not even Maria – but their relationship was built entirely on a lie. And she feared it had even been a lie in itself.
But if the smuggler’s story actually was the truth, there were way more lies she hadn’t seen before, that she never ever thought about questioning.
She always believed the Supreme Intelligence saved her, not that she would have to be thankful for it now but it had always been clear to her that they ordered Yon-Rogg to share his blood with her, just as they had ordered him to take care of her, to train her.
It never crossed her mind that all of this was just his doing. That he was the one who chose to save her, who chose to be with her, to protect and teach her. How could it? Yon-Rogg was always devoted and loyal to the Supremor, there was absolutely no way he did anything for her that wasn’t a direct order – let alone did anything against an order.
Yet he had lowered his weapons.
He had refused to fight her.
And that alone made a part of her believe it.
“What planet?” she asked eagerly. If he was still alive, and she wanted to think he was, she had to find him- all those years she had wondered if he would ever try to find her, and secretly she almost wished he would, but now it was her who had to reach out to him.
She had to know what between them was real and what a lie.
She had to finally ask him.
She had to confront him. And also confront herself.
“Why does that concern you?”
Her behavior obviously was suspicious and telling them the truth wouldn’t help her situation so instead she went with the first thing that came to her mind.
“We have some kind of history and I can’t let him get away without paying for it.”
“Oh!” the other man exclaimed. “We love good stories!”
“If you provide me with the needed information, I will make sure to tell you guys a good one,” she had no intention of telling them anything that happened between her and Yon-Rogg but during the past couple of years traveling the universe she had made quite a few memorable memories she could share.
The storyteller hesitated but as his friend urged him finally gave in.
It was hard to convince both of them to be happy with the, admittedly shot since she didn’t plan to waste any more time, story they got but when she paid for another two or three rounds of drinks, they complied and let Carol go without further bothering her.
_
She had heard of the planet before – she had probably heard of every planet the Kree have ever been to as Yon-Rogg had taken his role as her teacher quite seriously – so finding it wasn’t a problem, getting access to it however was a different story.
As Captain Marvel she had already made a name for herself in quite a few solar systems which provided her with a lot of luxuries and liberties a normal citizen would get but the Kree naturally weren’t one of the species that looked up to her.
Lucky the Empire barely guarded their mining planets as the only valuable thing on them were the resources they could easily farm elsewhere if some other nation somehow managed to steal them. However, no one, except for Xandarians occasionally, dared to attack a Kree planet so that possibility was never needed – much to the relief of all the nations that would have been their next target. As Vers she had been told it were criminals who worked in the mines, that provided the Empire with the materials they needed, so it had never occurred to her the Kree actually used innocent slaves to do so but now that she had lost all her admiration for them and was free from the propaganda, it sadly made a lot of sense. And to think Yon-Rogg now was one of them was even more upsetting.
In a way she could consider herself lucky that this small and unimportant place was where he was held in captivity - not Hala itself – but she knew it still wouldn’t be a walk in the park. Secretly landing on the planet, far away from the camps, was easier than expected but getting around and making her way to the mines without being seen proved to be quite a challenge. But nothing was impossible for her.
While the night gave her an advantage and made it hard for guards and slave drivers to notice her, it also made finding Yon-Rogg under the hundreds of slaves much harder.
It broke her heart seeing any of these people, who were forced into this brutal labor but whenever she spotted a child she felt crying. Most of them were asleep, seemingly exhausted from their day of work and thankful for any rest they can get but every so often she saw a small group still awake and talking and Carol was surprised they were even allowed to do that as they could technically plan a revolt. But then again Kree were quite arrogant and none of the guards probably believed they would ever be able to break free - no matter what they did and how many they were.
She promised herself to liberate all of them and take them to a save planet, somewhere they can live the peaceful and free life they deserved, far away from the Empire. There was nothing she could do right now, not with her small ship and without any actual plan, but she would return one day. She had to.
Quietly she made her way through the camps, mostly hiding behind rocks and tents until she was lucky enough to stumble upon one of the uniforms the slaves were forced to wear and with an added layer of dirt on her face and hands she could easily get mistaken for just another prisoner. By unsuspecting eyes in the darkness at least.
After gaining her memory back, Carol questioned everything she ever knew about Yon-Rogg, as she couldn’t be sure which part of his personality was just a charade and which was actually him, but for some reason she knew she wouldn’t find him under the slaves who were sleeping but rather still awake. Perhaps he wouldn’t be talking to anyone as he had never been the most social Kree but certainly he would be doing something.
And in fact there he was.
Sitting at one of the fires the slaves were allowed to have to not freeze to death – not out of altruism of course but rather pragmatism since getting new slaves every month because most of the old ones died was a waste of time and energy to the Empire.
He was surrounded by a couple of children, carefully tendering their wounds while trying to make them laugh to provide them with at least a little bit of happiness in their life, and for a moment she felt like she was back on Hala, watching him teach a class of kids about the Empire and hand-to-hand combat. He had always been good with children and a wonderful teacher. It was one of the very few things about him she never doubted to be real as he couldn’t possibly fake the kids’ affection and admiration of him - but it was still somewhat reassuring to see it really was who he is.
The next thing she noticed was a shock collar around his neck, something no other slave seemed to be forced to wear and for a second she wondered why until she realized no matter what the Supreme Intelligence ended up doing to him, he was still one of the best if not the best Kree warrior and therefore way more dangerous than anyone else on this planet. Keeping him under control like that made sense as awful as it was seeing him like that.
She held on, unsure if she should really walk up to him. Perhaps he would immediately alarm the guards, loyal as he had always been to the Empire and most likely still was. Maybe he would even hope to regain his status by betraying her like that.
But she was Captain Marvel.
What did she have to fear?
Confident she walked over to the group and stopped right in front of him, confounding him a lot as this behavior was quite unnatural for the other slaves. Yon-Rogg didn’t seem to recognize her at first, so he confusedly looked up as he waited for her to say something - and then it hit him.
He opened his mouth as if to say her name but caught himself in time to not give her identity away like that.
She expected him to stand up, grab her arm, forcing her to follow him into some dark corner while asking her what she was doing here – if he didn’t call the guards – but instead he turned away again, completely ignoring her existence.
Stubborn as she was she refused to speak first and instead kicked his shin to get his attention again but he still stared into the fire. Apparently alarmed by her harming him, two of the children jumped in between them to shield Yon-Rogg, who immediately pulled them back and made sure they would stay away from her.
Offended by him acting like she would ever hurt these kids she finally spoke: “It’s nice to see you too, Yon-Rogg.”
Instead of replying he shut his eyes as if that would somehow make her go away, like she was just a dream or hallucination. Growing impatient but also unwilling to make a scene that would attracted other slaves or even the guards she offered her hand to him like she had all these years ago before she sent him straight into this very fate.
He had open his eyes again, looked from the children he was still holding to her hand and finally gave in. Sighing as he let go of the kids, reassured them he would be right back and stood up without taking her hand but obviously still willing to follow.
One of the rocks she spotted nearby would provide them with enough cover and protect them from unwanted listeners; she only had to make sure none of the guards saw them get over there.
Carelessly he followed swiftly, almost as if he was bored by the situation – and that alone made her want to punch him. She didn’t go through all this trouble for him to act like that. Maybe she had expected him to be angry at her, for him to blame her for everything that went wrong in his life since he met her but she surely didn’t expect complete ignorance.
With a bit more force than needed she pulled him the last few steps and pushed him behind the rock, hoping he’d finally speak to her. Even if it was just an insult. She would take anything at this point.
But perhaps the silence was his punishment for her.
He sat down, leaning against the cold stone surface as he blankly looked up to her, completely devoid of any emotion.
“For fuck’s sake, say something!” she spat angrily, letting herself fall down to sit in front of him.
“What do you want me to say?” he asked tiredly. “If you want to punish me, please, I’m begging you, just do it. This torture isn’t working anymore as much as I want it just to please you.”
Carol frowned: “What the hell are you talking about?”
Yon-Rogg sighed again, running a hand over his face: “Alright.”
She was about to repeat her question since he refused to answer but suddenly he looked up at her, having the least convincing smile on his face. If he had actually faked their entire relationship he should be a much better actor than that by now. The way he had smiled at her on Hala always seemed genuine, like he really cared about her – whether he was lying about it or not – but this smile was nothing like the ones she was used to.
“It’s nice to see you, Vers,” he seemed exhausted, like this conversation exhausted him, not the work in the mines.
“Carol,” she stated. “My name is Carol.”
He nodded slowly: “Carol.”
Despite having spent all of the past couple of years questioning everything she had seen of Yon-Rogg, she was still confused by the way he was behaving. Before landing on this planet to find him she had mentally prepared herself to meet a Yon-Rogg she didn’t know, the one he had shown her on Mar-Vell’s ship when the Supreme Intelligence had disabled her powers, but never had she estimated him to be this apathetic.
“Are you drugged?”
It was a serious question. Drugging him to keep him under control seemed like an obvious possibility – it just hadn’t crossed her mind before as he was already wearing the collar and seemed exactly like the man she once knew when he interacted with the children.
He was puzzled for a moment, not anticipating such a conjecture.
“No, Carol,” he finally replied. “I am not.”
She wasn’t even sure what exactly she was doing right now but still decided to change her approach and take the offensive.
“Are you not going to ask me what I’m doing here?”
“Okay,” his voice was still emotionless. “What are you doing here?”
Carol didn’t want to reply anymore as he clearly didn’t care. Was he trying to provoke her again? So she would really kill him this time? Her mind was racing. There had to be something she could do or say to make him snap out of this ridiculous act.
“I’m here to ask if you love me.”
It technically wasn’t even lie; it just simplified the entire situation. She wanted to know if what the smuggler said was true, that he really saved and trained her because he wanted to. She wanted to know what between them was real, if he ever really cared about her. She wanted to know if he had refused to attack her and ended up provoking her because he wanted to her to kill him. She wanted to know if he really chose her life over his own and the Supreme Intelligence.
But it all boiled down to this one question.
And judging by his face it was the most effective one.
Yon-Rogg needed a moment to collect himself but then smiled again. It still wasn’t the one she was used to but now it seemed to be sad rather than apathetic.
“Yes,” he answered sincerely. “I love Carol.”
His diction was the last clue she needed to finally understand what was going on.
“God, you idiot think I’m someone else.”
He didn’t react at all, prompting her to say: “I’m not a Skrull. Ask me anything, just get over with it so we can have a serious conversation instead of whatever this is.”
“You already know everything,” he looked away again. “There is nothing I could ask that you don’t know the answer to.”
“Actually you could ask me anything about the history of the Kree and I wouldn’t know what to reply because I never really listened to these lectures.”
Just as Yon-Rogg was always good at controling himself, he also seemed to completely lack this control whenever she would tease him or make a joke on Hala and apparently that still hadn’t changed. It was only for a brief moment but she could tell he suppressed his laughter and hid his amusement.
That was the Yon-Rogg she knew.
Yet she was still confused by his answer. Why would he assume a Skrull knows everything about her?
Unless he didn’t think she was a Skrull at all.
He fell in love with them.
The Supreme Intelligence made sure to punish him accordingly for his failures.
Torture.
“You think this is a simulation and I am the Intelligence,” she realized.
This torture isn’t working anymore as much as I want it just to please you.
“What have they done to you?” she reached out to touch him like she would have if she was still Vers spending time with her friend but he immediately flinched.
Perhaps she had been naïve when she was writing her journal on Hala, in case she would lose her memory again, but back then and even until this moment she had truly believed it when she wrote “Yon-Rogg is our fearless leader.” Of course she knew everyone was scared of something and he couldn’t be an exception to that but it still shocked her beyond belief to see him wince.
“Yon…” she didn’t know what to say, neither in the situation nor to prove to him she was real, but suddenly there was something in his eyes, a small spark of hope, and she realized she had never called him ‘Yon’ before. Maybe that was the key. Behaving like she never did on Hala as the Supreme Intelligence would have only imitated the behavior she had shown to him.
“May I?” Carol gently asked as she took his hand, fearing he’d flinch again but this time he let her without any kind of protest. She carefully placed his hand on her chest, right over her heart, so he could feel her heartbeat. Feel she was alive.
For the first time since she had confronted him he seemed to actually look at her. He was still fighting against the thought, the hope it was really her to avoid getting hurt again but she could see his struggle. And she knew she could get him out of this.
Out of this doubt, this fear – and certainly this horrible situation she had gotten him into.
“I don’t know what else I can do to prove I’m not this piece of shit computer,” she said frustrated as he lowered his hand again.
“A what?”
“Computer. It’s something we use on Earth,” she explained carelessly, used to explain her culture to other cultures, before she understood her new found power. “You can go on the Internet with it or write something while an annoying little paperclip would constantly give you tips you didn’t ask for.”
“I didn’t understand anything of what you just said,” he answered. “And there is no way the Intelligence could make something so ridiculous up.”
“Excuse me? That’s human culture.”
Admittedly their technology was nothing against the one she had on her ship let alone even began to compare to what the Kree had - which was one of the reasons why she didn’t take Maria’s offer of taking a computer with her the last time she visited Earth when she got to fully try them out - but he still wouldn’t let him insult it.
“What are you doing here?” Yon-Rogg was still holding back, unsure if he should allow himself to believe her, however this time it sounded more like an accusation than an emotionless recite of a question.
Carol ran her fingers through her hair, not knowing what to reply. Right, what was she doing here? Yon-Rogg had answered her question and the reply alone made her believe that everything the two guys in the bar talked about was in fact real. But what would she do now? Free him and travel the universe with him? Or get him to a safe planet? The former option was much more appealing to her, of course, even when she liked to pretend it wasn’t. But would he even want her to do anything? After all she was the reason he ended up here so surely he must have been incredibly angry at her.
“Did you know,” she asked quietly. “What the Supreme Intelligence would do to you?”
Perhaps he hadn’t known how bad his punishment would be, he had been their favorite warrior after all. Maybe this was the reason he even considered refusing to fight her as he didn’t anticipated for the Intelligence to react so violently.
From her last encounter with them she knew how scary and powerful the Supremor could be yet up to this point Carol couldn’t claim they had actually treated her badly. Sure they had criticized her and were nothing like a friend but compared to the superiors she had to deal with on Earth, the Intelligence had always been rather pleasant to talk to. They had only shown their real face one she got to know the truth and switched sides.
And Yon-Rogg hadn’t done that. Even if he gave up without trying to attack her, that didn’t mean he suddenly was working for the Skrulls. So while they did have a solid reason to punish him, he could have never expected for the punishment to be this bad.
Could he?
“Yes, I did.”
He said it so factual, like they weren’t talking about a life changing moment but rather something unimportant that happened to someone else and somehow this only made her feel worse about it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I would have listened to you, she thought, for sure. Right?
“What would have been the point in that?” he shrugged. “You had already chosen what to do with me and I had no right in requesting a different treatment.”
“I wanted you to pay for how much you have hurt me,” Carol replied, barely keeping her voice under control. “But I didn’t want this.”
Yes, he had basically kidnapped her and then lied for six years about where they had found her but she would have died without him and there was no way the Supreme Intelligence would have allowed him to tell her either. Regardless she had still wanted him to be just as hurt as she was.
Carol could live with the realization everyone on Hala, or at least everyone who was privy, had lied to her – but not with the fact that Yon-Rogg lied to her.
He had been her best friend from the moment she woke up, had always been there for her, showed her around, told her everything he knew about the universe and taught her combat skills she was still using today, and even defended her against other Kree whenever they doubted her. Even his own team mates and superiors.
Knowing that this person, who she trusted more than anyone, had lied to her had hurt more than anything she ever felt.
Reason had told her that he had grown up with the lies and propaganda of the Empire – she had seen how bad it was - but how could she be sure he really didn’t know it was just that, manipulation? She had gotten to know a Yon-Rogg who always avoided killing innocent bystanders if it was possible, who treated others with respect and whose hatred was solely focused on what he believed to be terrorists. She wanted this to be the real Yon-Rogg and that made her still care for him. They had a past together, no matter how much of it had been fake, and she liked to cling to the hope that he really didn’t know. That there was only lie he ever told her.
“I deserve it,” he said drily.
“What about,” Carol wasn’t sure if there really was a point in asking considering he could simply lie but she still had to ask. “About the Skrulls?”
No matter how far away he was from Hala and the Kree civilization, the hatred for this species that he had learnt to feel since his birth was still strong in him.
“They are terrorists, Carol,” he replied and added a silent “And I can’t believe you decided to join them.” with his eyes. She could tell how disappointed he was in her but realized those feelings weren’t about her turning against him but helping the Skrulls.
Maybe he had reacted so violently on Mar-Vell’s ship because she joined his enemy, not because she decided to leave him. Maybe he would have accepted the later but the former really hurt him.
“Who had been fighting the Kree for thousands of years, I know,” she repeated the knowledge the Empire had taught her, not without a mocking tone but also willing to let the topic go for now.
The sun would start to rise really soon so if she wanted to do something, to get Yon-Rogg off this planet, she had to finally take the initiative.
“Come with me,” she demanded as she suddenly stood up.
Yon-Rogg tensed again looking at her skeptically: “Why would you want that?”
“I didn’t go through all this trouble to let you rot here – especially considering it kind of is my fault you are here at all.”
“No,” he insisted. “Everything I did was my decision.”
“Then decide to come along with me now.”
He sat still, shaking his head: “Even if I wanted that, I cannot leave them.”
Yon-Rogg looked over his shoulder to demonstrate he was talking about the children she had seen him with – or perhaps even about the entire camp itself. And that certainly was the Yon-Rogg she knew.
“We’ll come back to free them,” Carol offered her hand again. “I promise.”
“This is a test,” he mumbled, pressing himself against the rock as he lacked space to get further away her.
“I’m not this fucking A.I.,” she slowly started to lose her patience with him, no matter how much it hurt her to see him like this.
“Then why would you want to rescue me? After everything I did to you?”
“Because I love you too, you idiot!” was her initial reply but she stopped herself in time and instead said: “You owe me something since you lied to me for over six years. So get your ass up.”
Apparently this was a reasoning he could follow. He still hesitated but then took the hand she was still offering and allowed her to pull him up.
“Do with me whatever you want.”
She rolled her eyes at his theatrics but didn’t comment on it, instead she kept dragging him with her, holding on to his hand as she feared if she would let go he would change his mind again. As trained Kree warriors they managed to make their way back to her ship without getting seen and Carol was relieved to know they’d soon finally leave this forsaken planet but just as she was about to enter, Yon-Rogg suddenly paused.
“I don’t care what you do to me,” he said seriously though it sounded more theatrical to her. “But please keep your promise.
“Did I ever not stay true to my words?” she asked and quickly added “Don’t answer that.” when she saw him open his mouth to list all the times she had promised to not use her powers or get herself in danger only to do said thing five minutes later.
However it was enough to convince him so he followed her inside.
-
It didn’t occur to her until they had already left the atmosphere that he may have a tracker of some sort on him and she cursed at herself for not thinking about this earlier but, to be fair, she wasn’t freeing high-profile prisoners out of captivity every day. When she turned to the seat next to her to ask if he knew anything about such a device, he was already shaking his head.
“I would have told you about it.”
“I don’t know,” she snapped, angry about how well he could still read her after all those years as it reminded her of everything they had and that she considered being lost forever. “You left out a few details about how I got to Hala as well.”
She expected him to defend himself, to tell her he had no choice, but he didn’t. He just quietly stared into the endless space in front of them. Carol kept looking at him however and when he couldn’t ignore it anymore he finally asked what she was doing.
“Wondering how we can get rid of that thing without chopping your head off.”
The collar was still blinking to signal it was ready to be used, making her wonder how painful it must be when activated. If he had been a simple, normal prisoner Carol knew he wouldn’t have had to feel it too often, and technically Yon-Rogg did know how to behave and get as little unwanted attention as he desired, but due to the other slaves that must have been impossible for him. The Yon-Rogg she knew - and while she still couldn’t be sure what had been fake and what real about him, she was certain this part of him hadn’t been a lie judging by how he had treated the children – would never just watch if someone got mistreated.
Even on Hala whenever he saw completely strangers getting picked on due to their skin color, he had always intervened and Vers had liked to believe he would have even done this if he hadn’t been the victim of such attacks himself. And Carol liked to think that too.
Especially when the victim was a child Yon-Rogg would protect them and if anything this heroism must have been even stronger on this planet as everyone there was even less able to defend themselves. If it wasn’t so horrible she’d even make a joke about how he constantly lectured her about listening to her superiors yet got in so much trouble himself in the camp, but just thinking about the pain he had to go through the last couple of years already made her shiver and unable to do so.
“It could be quite useful for you as I am your prisoner now.”
“Besides the fact that I really don’t need something like this to control you when I have these,” she raised her fists. “You are not my prisoner, Yon-Rogg.”
She stood up to take a better look at the collar while being careful not to accidentally activate it as she suspected it to have some kind of mechanism that gets triggered if the wearer would try to take it off. He gently leaned his head to the side and away from her so she could have a better access to it.
“What am I here for then?”
“To talk,” she laid her fingers on the edge of the collar and nothing happened - so far, so good.
“What else do you want to talk about,” he asked staying perfectly still to make her job easier and also avoid as much unnecessary pain as possible. “I already… admitted to what you wanted to know.”
He did.
The stress of somehow getting him off the planet had prevented her from actually thinking about it but now that everything was calmer she began to fully realize what he had said.
I love Carol.
“Why did you never tell me on Hala?” Or at least ask me out or literally take any of my hints, she wondered.
Yon-Rogg turned his head to look at her so suddenly; they almost crashed into each other. Like she had just insulted him he glared at her, heavily offended.
“I would never try to take advantage of you like this.”
He wouldn’t have or at least she thought so - after all she had loved him too as Vers. However, she wasn’t so sure about Carol’s love. She couldn’t deny she still had feelings for him but they were still heavily overshadowed by the doubts and distrust. Although she knew he was in love with her, she couldn’t just pretend nothing happened. And even though he had chosen her over the Supreme Intelligence, she couldn’t be sure he would never want to go back to them.
And then it hit her: he had used the present tense when he confessed his love for her.
Could he really still feel this strongly about her? After she basically ruined his life whether she wanted to or not? After he had lost everything of her?
“I doesn’t matter anymore,” he tried to change the topic and Carol let him to avoid the conversation as well.
“You knew what would happen to you” she was looking for some kind of screws or anything similar she could undo to open the collar as she picked her train of thought up again.
“Of course,” Yon-Rogg confirmed when she gently placed a hand on his head to slightly push it further to the right and he followed her movements, giving her fingers and eyes more room so she could study the device further.
“You could have told me,” Carol demanded and implied a silent ‘Should have.’
He didn’t reply, leaving it to her imagination why he didn’t. Perhaps it was his pride and ego that prevented him from doing so – perhaps it was actually something else. Maybe the issue lied much deeper than that.
I deserve it.
She had feared Yon-Rogg wasn’t who he pretended to be the six years she had spent on Hala but her worries had always been about him actually being a terrible person, some kind of evil mastermind or at least a knowing henchman who didn’t care about innocent people getting hurt - not someone who flinches when she just raises her hand.
“I might be able to open this,” she finally said after they had both stayed in silence for a while. “It’ll get a bit hot for a moment.”
Carol expected some kind of protest after her warning but it never came. He probably knew that this was the only way or maybe really didn’t mind. She focused her energy on her thumb and carefully ran it along what she had observed to be the collar’s weakest point. The metallic material would heat up and could potentially hurt him that way, so she had to be quick and get it off him as soon as possible while also avoiding to trigger it as long as it was still functioning. On a normal day this might have looked like a challenge to her but after everything that happened the past couple of hours it felt more like a refreshing diversion so with a lot of concentration and skill she finally managed to break it open.
A faint static noise signaled the collar’s defeat and Carol proudly held it in front of Yon-Rogg to brag about her achievement. He smiled slightly however it didn’t seem to be in relation to being freed, rather it looked like the kind of expression he had on his face whenever she had managed to do a task perfectly and he was proud of her for it.
“You sure no one will hunt you down?” she asked, implying there may be a tracker he simply wasn’t aware of. “The great Yon-Rogg?”
“Unless they figure out who got me out of the camp, yes,” he insisted, turning his head away from her again. “I’m not important.”
She raised a brow.
Sure, Yon-Rogg had never bragged about being seen as a hero by the common Kree, his military rank or any other attainment but to say he wasn’t important was an understatement even for him. Yes, he lost his position and got exiled to work as a slave but the people of Hala still loved him.
Didn’t they?
And even the Supreme Intelligence, as arrogant as they were, should be aware of what a threat he was. Not only was Yon-Rogg really powerful and clever but also knew a lot about the Kree Empire, knowledge the enemy would love to have. They could not possibly still blindly believe in his loyalty and devotion.
But maybe they knew him much better than she did.
Carol sat down again; sighing for no specific reason as they were just too many when the she wiped a hand across her face that was still covered with dirt.
“Maybe,” she began, leaning back. “We should both take a shower first - and probably a nap - and then we can come up with a proper plan to save all those slaves.” And maybe finally talk about everything.
He could barely hide his grin: “You and planning?”
Out of a habit she wanted to hit him playfully for teasing her like this but lifting her arm immediately made him flinched again.
“I’m sorry,” both of them said simultaneously causing Carol to frown.
“What the hell are you sorry for-” she tried to ask but he suddenly stood up and made his way to the door.
“Where is the shower?”
Carol knew he was just running away from the conversation but she didn’t have the energy to force him to continue participating in it. And after all she didn’t have to. They were on the same ship and had more than enough time to talk about this. There was no need to rush anything or push him into a corner.
She took him to the bathroom and offered to meanwhile wash his clothes– of course he deserved something acceptable to wear but she didn’t have anything his size lying around and wouldn’t be able to get something until they reached a save planet to rest on – but he insisted on doing it himself. Which, again, sounded a lot like the Yon-Rogg she had known on Hala.
-
After she had finished showering as well she found him sitting on the couch, waiting for her patiently as he had no idea what to do with himself while she wasn’t around. Carol had expected for curiosity to get the best of him, making look around the entire ship but apparently he had spent his time without moving at all.
“Are you hungry?” she wanted to know, just realizing he probably didn’t have an actual meal in quite a while. Yon-Rogg shook his head.
“Are you just saying that to be polite or are you really not hungry?” Carol asked, fearing he just didn’t want to cause any work.
“Starving your workers would be quite inefficient if you want them to do their work properly,” he explained. “Not getting any food is a punishment, not the norm.”
She nodded as this made sense to her though she could absolutely see him sharing what he got with the children – but maybe she was just projecting. However, she was certain he had gotten such a penalty every once in a while.
“When was the last time you have slept in a bed?” it was meant to be a phase to excite him about getting some comfort again but she also sincerely wondered.
Yon-Rogg just shrugged and followed her lead quietly. Maybe he didn’t even know it himself.
Her ship was small and rather meant to be efficient than luxurious so like it only had one bathroom, there was only one bedroom too. She could have told him to sleep on the couch and perhaps she really should have but it was way too small for an adult Kree to rest comfortably on and that’s what she wanted him to get - rest.
“The left side is mine,” she explained as they entered her room and he stopped immediately.
“I’m not sleeping in your bed,” he said it in such a shock that Carol feared she had made him uneasy. “Where would you sleep? On the floor?”
She rolled her eyes: “In the same bed.”
That only seemed to disturb him even more.
“I will just sleep on the-”
“No, you won’t,” under different circumstances she would have accepted his wishes but sometimes people, and especially Yon-Rogg, had to get forced to their luck. “The bed is big enough for the both of us.”
If sleeping next to her was a problem for him she would have gladly taken the couch but he didn’t want that either so they had to do it this way. Unless they wanted to take turns.
Yon-Rogg hesitated, even fought something in himself but eventually agreed and did as he was told. He tried to stay away from her as much as possible to not cause her any discomfort and Carol would have called him out on it but what could she have said? Come closer to me?
They lied awake for a while, quietly and lost in thoughts and Carol had almost fallen asleep when he suddenly spoke up, almost startling her.
“Has the Supreme Intelligence ever touched you?” he asked hoarsely. “In a way that made you uncomfortable?”
She didn’t open her eyes, too exhausted to stay awake for much longer.
“Of course not,” she mumbled, slightly confused by his question. “If they had I would have made sure it would never happen again.”
“Oh, good,” he replied in relief before becoming silent again.
“What made you think so?” Carol asked nearly inaudible as her head was buried in her pillow.
“I was just wondering.”
“Okay,” she had almost fallen asleep at this point but something in his voice abruptly let her be wide awake again. Carol quickly sat up in such a sudden movement it almost made him flinch again.
“Why did you ask?”
“I would have never,” he stopped, searching for the right term. “Forgiven myself if they had done this to you. Because I was the one who brought you to Hala.”
“No,” she said strictly, turning towards him. “Why did you think that could have happened?”
He didn’t respond and avoided her glance but that was enough of an answer to her. The feeling of sickness she had experienced in the bar when she learnt about his feelings for her and what happened to him because of her couldn’t even begin compare to what she felt now.
“How-”, she held on, unsure about what was appropriate to say or ask in such a situation. She wanted to know if they had done this before she send him back to Hala in disgrace, what exactly they had done to him in general, what they had said to him, what they had made him see and go through.
Did you know what the Supreme Intelligence would do to you?
Yes, I did.
She could cry but more than anything she was angry, mainly at the Supreme Intelligence for daring to treat him like this, to treat anyone like this, but also at herself. She had sent him back, she was the reason he got into such a horrible situation to begin with. He had brought her to Hala, saved had her life, had always taken care of her – and all of that without ever having been told to. Carol had believed the Supremor had chosen him, that, especially in the beginning, she was more of an unwanted liability than a friend to him – although he had never made her feel like one – but instead he had chosen her.
Whenever she got into trouble he had gotten her out of it, often risking his own good relationship to their superiors. He had permanently insisted on how capable and strong she was in front of everyone, even the Intelligence. Perhaps the nightmares were partly his fault, yes, but he had always been there for her, talked with her about what was troubling her, what scared her, and distracted her if she wanted him to. He had sacrificed his own sleep for help her – and in the end even his own reputation and life.
Yon-Rogg had lied to her for six years and she wanted him to pay for that. But in fact he had already started paying for taking her to Hala at all right in the moment they had arrived on it.
Maybe she should have followed and listened to his orders and lectures better.
Maybe she should have taken everything more seriously instead of so lightheartedly.
Maybe she should have appreciated what he did for her more at the time.
She ruined everything for him, first by being on Hala and then by sending him back to Hala. She had caused him nothing but pain and he should regret having saved her every single day of his life.
But instead he still loved her.
“I’m so sorry,” she managed to say, failing to keep her voice steady, but he immediately shook his head.
“It’s nothing,” he smiled gently but Carol could tell it was faked. “And certainly not your fault.”
“Yes, it is,” she insisted. “I sent you back.”
“I would have done the same,” Yon-Rogg turned around and pretended to be yarning. “Now let me get the rest you so desperately want me to have.”
“No, you wouldn’t have,” she realized hoarsely, refusing to lie back down again but he didn’t reply to her anymore.
Carol sat there in silence for a while, thinking about her own failures before she finally tried to get some sleep herself. She had spent so much time wondering if Yon-Rogg had ever been her friend, if he ever actually cared about her but now she started to question if she had ever been a real friend to him.
She should have noticed the Supreme Intelligence wasn’t treating him as good as she had believed them to. She shouldn’t have constantly taken things from him, his time, his effort, his love – she should have given something back. She should have been there for him. She shouldn’t have caused him so much trouble. She should have been the friend to him he was to her.
Seeking out the bar was an act of desperation; she simply didn’t want to be alone anymore. And even when she rescued Yon-Rogg, she was still hoping for his company. But she didn’t want to take anymore. She didn’t worry about being alone anymore.
All she wanted was him to not be alone.
She didn’t want him to be her company - she wanted to be his company.
She wanted to be the friend he had been for her on Hala.
She would do anything to make up for her own mistakes.
Carol had wondered about her feelings for Yon-Rogg, if she still felt the same as he did. But now it didn’t seem important to her anymore. She certainly wasn’t in a position to accept his love, was completely undeserving of it.
And she didn’t know if she would ever be again.