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"Hey Mom!" Henry greeted as he stepped over the threshold and into the house. His slightly oversized backpack swayed as he took it off. Jen insisted on getting him oversized backpacks every year just to trick her mind into thinking her baby boy wasn't growing up. But for some reason those oversized backpacks weren't as big as they used to make them, and this year they were the smallest they had ever been. "Where's Judy? I need to show her something."
Jennifer tilted her head signaling to the guesthouse where her best friend was lounging on her bed with a book in her hand. "Okay, I'll be right back." He smiled and darted back out to where the other woman was. Something in Jen's chest fluttered when she saw how Henry bolted into Judy's arms and the smiles that followed.
Unconsciously, she placed a hand over her midsection as if she was searching for something. As if the sight of her best friend and her son stirred a feeling inside of her that went far beyond happiness.
Jennifer watched as Judy placed a kiss on the side of Henry's head, and her heart did a little leap. She let out a sigh as a small smile graced her lips.
This change had been gradual, something she barely even noticed, and yet... She had her right palm lying flatly on her stomach with a look of longing in her eyes.
Jen searched herself for answers. She couldn't understand how sick the universe had to be to rob Judy of the opportunity to be a mother. She would be so great. The proof was in the way Judy took care of her sons, and the way they loved and loved her in return.
The blonde blinked as she leaned forward, steadying herself on her left hand. It was insane to think that just over a year ago Jennifer was lost and her life was in shambles, but then Judy had found her, had made her whole again.
She felt whole again- except lately every time Jennifer looked Judy's way she felt like something was missing. She was yearning for something that she couldn't quite comprehend.
And at first she was able to brush it off, but the feeling was becoming encompassing. She couldn't simply ignore these things anymore. Not when Judy looked at her children with such raw adoration. Or how she was thoughtful in everything that she did for them. Sometimes Judy would even smile at Jennifer- God, that smile. It yielded the ability to melt her, to fill her head and maybe her heart with desires that shouldn't be there in the first place.
And yet, the moment she saw the way Henry was swooning at something Judy said, Jennifer's thoughts seemed to scream at her.
We should have a baby.
It was such a natural thought-- We?
Blue eyes fluttered shut on their own accord as Jennifer felt her heart rate begin to quicken. Panic settled in her chest as she realized how carried away she'd gotten in a fantasy. A stupid fantasy.
Judy was her best friend and-
"Hey Mom, what's for dinner?"
Jennifer jolted and quickly snatched her hand away from her stomach. Feeling as though she'd been caught, Jennifer busied herself with the dishes in the sink in an attempt to divert her attention away from her mess of thoughts. "I'm sorry what did you say honey?"
Jennifer threw him a bemused smile, but refused to meet his eyes. Charlie, being true to his teenaged self, didn't even notice his mother's flustered state as he perched himself on a barstool and focused his eyes on his phone. "I said what's for dinner? Or is my bonus mom cooking tonight?"
Bonus mom. There was also that. They were all so comfortable that her children even referred to Judy as their other mother sometimes.
A baby together wasn't too absurd. It did make a certain amount of sense on paper... In a sense, they were already kind of co-parenting. "Uh, I don't know." She shrugged, trying her hand at nonchalance. "I was thinking maybe we could order pizza. Hm? How does that sound?"
"Yeah, pizza is good." He replied distractedly. Jennifer nodded much in the same manner as her eldest son.
"Alright, we'll have pizza then." A silence followed as Jen made no moves to call the Italian place down the street and Charlie busied himself on his phone. Eventually the silence became too much and the blonde began to hum to herself.
And that seemed to captivate Charlie far more than pizza had, as it was the first thing that got him to take his eyes off of his phone. He sat quietly and watched as his mother cleaned with a bit too much zealous for someone who was always complaining about cleaning.
His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember if he missed something in the past few moments. "Are you alright?" He finally asked when he came up empty handed. "You seem... Different."
"Of course I'm alright." She said as intrusive images of a brand new baby filled her arms. Judy was at her side, tears in her eyes and a look that told Jennifer that, that was all she had ever wanted. Them. This- that, a baby- Henry, and Charlie. "What makes you ask?"
"Just that you've been cleaning the same spot for about 5 minutes now, and I don't think it can get any more clean."
Jennifer looked down at her hand, as if she just noticed herself what was happening. "Oh." Her eyebrows rose. "T-there was a stain, but I got it."
"Whatever." Charlie shook his head, losing interest just as fast as he'd gained it. "I'm going to go say hi to Judy."
"Did I hear my name?" All eyes turned towards the brunette standing hand in hand with Henry at the kitchen threshold. She smiled a dazzling smile at Charlie, and Jen's heart lurched. It was a useless muscle, and a treacherous one too.
"Yea, I was just going to come say hi."
"Hi." Judy said easily and Henry let her hand go as he ran to sit beside his older brother. Charlie ruffled his hair a bit and that seemed to be greeting enough for the both of them. "How was school?"
Charlie shrugged naturally. "Eh, school was school. I'd much rather be eating pizza than talking about school." Judy's eyes landed on Jennifer who hadn't looked away from her since the moment she stepped into the kitchen.
"We're having pizza tonight?" She purred, and Jennifer felt her knees go weak. No, her heart wasn't useless. She was. It was a fact.
"Yea. I figured we could both use a break tonight." Jen nodded and Judy smiled at her easily.
"Did you already order or should I do the honors?" Somehow she already knew the answer and was dialing the number before the blonde even muttered her response. She bit her lip and then caught herself staring, and of course her useless brain conjured up the thought to keep cleaning the same spot she'd been called out by Charlie for cleaning.
Judy had spewed off their usual orders and hung up before she placed a gentle hand on the small of Jennifer's back. The blonde jolted at her touch and immediately stepped just out of the other woman's reach.
"Boys, why don't you two head upstairs and get washed up before dinner arrives." She avoided the look of confusion Judy gave her and instead focused on her children's retreating figures.
Judy glanced to the kitchen entryway, where blue eyes had remained focused, to ensure the boys were actually out of earshot before she leaned in and said "Is there something wrong?"
The blonde sighed and her shoulders visibly sagged. Her burning thoughts were eating away at her. She had to bite her bottom lip just to quell the urge to blurt out all of her stupid fantasies. Judy wouldn't even be on board for any of this.
Would she?
Jennifer turned and stared into brown eyes and they were the warmest they'd ever been. And for a second she thought: maybe. Maybe they could have it all.
"Do you think that maybe the guesthouse is a bit... Cramped?" The question had come out of nowhere, but she was glad that it was this instead of the other thing.
Judy seemed to contemplate her answer before a dawning realization settled over her features. "I think it's just fine." She shrugged and folded her arms over her chest. Blue eyes glanced to the change in posture, but they didn't linger there for too long.
"Oh." She breathed and nodded. "Well okay. That's that." Jennifer turned to leave but Judy caught her by the arm and turned her so that they were facing one another.
The action sent an eruption of butterflies soaring through the blonde's stomach. She let out a staggered breath and willed herself to stay calm. "Was that your passive aggressive way of asking me to move out?"
"What? No, no! Of course not."
"Then why did you ask?"
"I don't know. I just thought that-- look, you spend more of your time in the house with us than you do over there anyway. I just thought that maybe it would be easier if you didn't have to make so many trips back and forth during the day."
Judy giggled, thinking that was a joke, but when her best friend didn't join her she immediately straightened. "You're serious? Oh, okay, um... The walk is really not that bad. It's like 20 steps at most. It's not a big deal. Besides, there isn't enough space in the house for me."
"There's always space for you." Jen countered.
"Oh yea? Because the last I checked the guest room is slowly turning into a teenager hang out spot."
Jen bit her bottom lip again as she fluttered her eyes. She was going to say something very stupid and she couldn't even think to stop it from happening. "I wasn't talking about the guestroom. I have plenty of space in my room."
She felt her cheeks redden as brown eyes widened and Judy spluttered over her words. "Sorry, that was completely out of line. I shouldn't have, and-"
"Sounds good!" Judy nodded once and Jennifer felt her words, that were itching to be spoken only mere seconds ago, die on her tongue.
"Really?" Disbelief laced her voice, but the corner of her lips curved upwards despite herself.
Judy smiled too. "Yes really." She took a half step closer and leaned into her best friend's space. "That way you won't have to sneak into the guest house late at night."
Jen felt embarrassment creep up her spine as her cheeks warmed all over again. Had she been so transparent? Dread washed over her at the thought of Judy knowing about Jen's secret crush... Or whatever those pesky feelings were.
"Tease me all you want, but on the nights when I fall asleep or take too long, it's you whose sneaking into my room."
"Yes, well I can't fall asleep to the thought of you being cold."
"Say what you want but my duvet does an amazing job of keeping me warm at night."
Their banter came easy and Jen was grateful for a light hearted distraction. "Better than me?" She pouted.
However, just before Jennifer could retort something scathing, the doorbell rang, ending their conversation. "I'll get that." Judy said and Jennifer watched her go. Her heart felt light as she heard Judy's muffled voice speak to the delivery guy and her boys excitedly making their way to the kitchen.
This made sense. They made sense... Together.
X
Judy's transition from the guesthouse to Jennifer's bedroom was smooth, too smooth. Nothing had changed. The boys didn't even bat an eyelash at the new arrangement. Which made things easy... Too easy.
Except, things were now the most complicated they had ever been.
The warmth Jennifer felt in her womb had only magnified since Judy moved in, and that's not to mention the warmth in her chest. At some point Jennifer had to admit it. She had to say it out loud, just to get it off of her chest.
"I love you." Jennifer had whispered into the night air once after she was sure Judy had fallen asleep. She was on the verge of sleep herself and she'd almost drifted off when she heard a faint "I love you too."
Since that fateful night, they tossed around the words 'I love you' like they meant more than just the way best friends said it to one another.
Again, Jen longed and longed for something more in their interactions. She still longed for something more to complete their family. Her emotions were everpresent, always threatening to come undone, and to be her undoing, because she knew Judy didn't feel the same.
Yet Judy looked at her in a way that made her just think-
"What do you think about about a puppy?" Judy said randomly. They were both tucked into bed, Judy had her arm lazily draped over Jen as said blonde read her book.
"A puppy?" She scrunched her nose cutely. The brunette smiled warmly and then relaxed her head on her best friend.
"Yea, Henry asked if we could get one, and Charlie seemed a little smitten with the idea." Judy busied herself with rubbing idle circles on Jen's stomach, where her hand fell. Blue eyes disappeared behind closed lids as a staggered breath escaped past barely parted lips. "Imagine those big eyes, and floppy ears, and the sound of little paws padding around our floors."
Our.
Her heart was being useless again. She could lean down and kiss her right now. It would make so much sense for her to just do that. But instead of kissing Judy like she needed her, Jennifer shrugged and said:
"I think a baby would be easier." And that wasn't what she intended to say by any means, but it's what flew out of her useless mouth anyway.
She immediately felt uncomfortable.
The brunette's hand stilled on her stomach and suddenly Judy's hand felt too heavy on her. Why couldn't she have just agreed to a puppy? The baby thing had still been bothering her, but this wasn't the way she was supposed to bring that conversation up.
"A baby?" Ghosted past her lips wistfully. The words lingered in the air, filling the silence. Jen gulped. Judy kept resting her head on Jen's side.
The fact that those two words was all Judy said made Jennifer feel as if she was going to vomit. She felt uncomfortable, and all she could do was mentally berate herself for the slip up. She had been doing so well, and now everything she held dear was-
Judy shifted with a speed that Jennifer couldn't quite follow, and for a second their gazes met in a charged filled stare. Jen hadn't noticed, not before anyway, but Judy had unshed tears in her eyes.
Panic raged in chest. "Oh Judy, oh no. I'm-"
She kissed her. Judy was kissing her. And oh... Oh! The blonde dropped her book and returned the kiss with fervor. She lightly ghosted her fingers across Judy's face and let out a moan.
Her heart didn't feel so useless- she felt whole again. And she had been needing this. Judy was kissing her thoroughly, exploring her in a way that no one had before.
Jen melted, and swooned. She was weak- and very much so in love with this woman. She was an idiot for waiting this long. They already shared a home, a family, a bed... Adding this to the equation only made sense.
Slick arousal pooled between her legs when Judy broke the kiss and straddled her, only to crash their lips together again. "Let's have a baby." She panted between kisses, and honestly Jen didn't trust herself to speak. She could only nod her head as Judy lifted her shirt and trailed kisses down her abdomen.
And then she went lower.
Jen held her gaze as Judy slid off her pajama pants. The blonde had never seen anything more sexy. To have a woman- Judy buried between her legs for the better part of the night had her legs trembling after an earth shattering orgasm.
That is until she was too sensitive to take Judy's tongue lashings anymore and flipped them over.
The way Judy's body arched, and those moans. God, her moans sounded like a beautiful Melody. Jen thought that she had, had enough and then Judy called out her name when she came.
Well, they'd just have to do this until the world burned down. They would have to do this every night- everyday, even.
She was addicted.
Eventually, though, the two women exhausted themselves, and laid naked in each other's arms. They were drifting, as hands roamed ever so gently.
"I have been waiting so long for you." Judy murmured into the night, and then she placed a kiss on Jen's neck.
The blonde shivered. "Oh yea? Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"Because I felt like maybe you needed time to process your feelings without me clouding your judgement."
Jennifer hummed and then nodded, but then realization dawned on her. "Wait you knew this whole time?"
"Mhmm." She even gave a little nod. "I knew... You stopped hiding it after a while."
"How?"
"What do you mean how?" She chuckled. "You asked me to sleep in your bed- permanently. Then after I agreed, you started saying I love you. And I won't even mention the way you hold me every night, or how you look at me."
Jen dry swallowed and turned so that they were facing each other. She could just make out Judy's sillouhette in the darkness, but she couldn't see if her eyes were open or not. "How do I look at you?"
"Like you want me..." She replied without skipping a beat. "Like you're in love with me."
Jennifer moved closer, pressing their breasts together, and snaked an arm around Judy's waist. She leaned in just to see how it felt to kiss the brunette just because she wanted to. "Good." She exhaled lightly against Judy's soft lips. "I am."
Judy smiled, leaned forward and kissed Jennifer again. "Good, because I am too."
"Oh you're in love with you too?" Jennifer teased.
"No." And they both laughed easily. "You just want to hear me say it, don't you?"
The giggles quieted and Jen felt her heart leap into her throat. "Yeah." She whispered.
Judy paused and then Jen felt her lips on her again as the brunette held her. "I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I don't know how you didn't see it before."
Come to think of it Judy did readily agree to everything with such ease. She never questioned why they should sleep in the same bed or why she and Jen always said I love you. It was just... Natural.
It all made sense.
"And you want to have a baby with me?" The brunette asked tentatively, almost as if she were afraid Jen had changed her mind.
"Yea, I've been imagining it. Another baby boy or our first baby girl. I don't care about the gender. I just want this with you- so badly... I have for a while."
At first Judy didn't reply and Jen thought that maybe she'd revealed too much. But then there was one small sniffle before Judy's lips crashed into hers all over again. Every kiss was hope for their future together and one step closer to the way Jennifer had been invisioning things.
This felt right. Being here, wrapped in Judy's embrace after declarations of love. She was whole, and one day soon they'd add a new addition to their family.
Jen drifted off to sleep with the idea of tiny feet padding across the floor, and images of Judy holding a newborn baby surrounded by Charlie and Henry played in her mind like a movie.
Yea, this was right. They made sense together.