Chapter Text
[Knight Solaire x Undead!Reader]
Shadows...
The silhouettes of charred trees stretched out their willowy arms to the clouded heavens, mirroring your own abysmal want for solace and guidance from any providence that would care to listen to your pleas. Amongst the whistling of the wind and the sonorous rumbles of volcanic plains of Lost Izalith, the ominous cry of a demon traveled with the air's current and into your safe haven, reminding you further of your long, fearsome journey ahead, across this bubbling lake of lava. The hot veil of smoke carried with it a putrid smell through the long tunnel in which you sat, one of burnt flesh, rotted corpses, and the odor from demons lurking behind every wall. Even after the consumption of another Estus flask, a phantom scorching tore at your flesh from battling across the lakes of lava, refusing to ease you of your suffering. The penumbra of your armored form expanded beneath you across the bricked floor of the crumbling ruin, trembling and shaking with every flicker of the bonfire's erratic fluttering. What little sanity you possessed you feared would soon dwindle, but surrendering to now was...cowardly - no, an insult to even cowards. You traversed such great lengths, engaged in such vigorous battles. So close were you to igniting the Lordvessel that abandoning your mission would scar you with guilt and shame.
But, the thought of enduring another agonizing death; burned alive, ripped apart, sliced to pieces, pierced repeatedly by swords and arrows, collapsing and shattering your bones....You grew so accustomed to it. Why now did It haunt you so? Did your mind finally process the sheer torture you put yourself through? Were you questioning your mission?
Why did you start this journey? Glory? Power? Purpose? Obligation to fulfill the wish of a dying knight? Either way, it prevented your hollowing...
But, what was the point to
But, why?
Why...?
"Why....? Why....?"
Your fluttering heart skipped at the sun knight's soft whisper echoing your own thoughts. Solaire's head hung low, the licks of the fire reflecting within the tarnished metal of his helmet. Through the slit, you noted his eyes, swollen, red, moistened with tears. After another successful fight, side by side, you hoped he would at least offer an enthusiastic word or two, anything to lift your sorry spirit.
He always managed to brighten any mood with his brilliant smile and jollity.
Seeing him like this with his shoulders slumped over, head dipped, such a sight was foreign, and it twisted the threads of your heart into a painful, throbbing knot.
"After all this searching," his voice echoed within the cavern. "...I still cannot find it...Was it all a lie...? Have I done this all for nothing?"
You carefully removed your helmet, brushing away the hair sticking to your face.
"Solaire...," you whispered.
"Oh, my dear sun....what now?" he shook his head. "What shall I do?"
With a trembling hand, you reached out to touch his shoulder, but something-perhaps doubt-caused you to recoil. You bit your lip in shame.
"My sun....," his voice dripped with grief. Was this the same man you met back at the Undead Burg? The ache in your heart clutched your chest greater than the claws of a dragon.
"My dear....dear sun...."
Swallowing what little pride you contained within your exhausted form, you gripped his hand. The touch at least snapped him from his self deprecating state, enough for him to elevate his gaze.
"Solaire, please..." you muttered, still attempting to piece together some pathetic excuse of a sentence you could utilize for comfort.
He stared at you long and hard, waiting for any kind of continuation - a complete thought at most.
"I...you...You...," a flush crept to your cheeks as you released him from your grasp. "Forgive me. I'm unsure of what exactly to tell you..."
He blinked for a moment, leaving your skin to crawl up your arm in utter humiliation. Suddenly, a quick breath of air escaping his nose, Solaire removed his helmet in one movement, then wiped away the grime and sweat on his sleeve. Despite the film of sadness glazed over his green eyes, he mustered enough of a smile to trigger a sigh of relief from you.
"I'm the one who should beg forgiveness," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Here I am, wallowing over nothing after walking away from a battle, victorious once more."
"Please, do not say it is nothing," you replied. "I....I feel similar doubts...I have wondered similarly along this arduous journey..."
His smile diminished.
"What do you mean?"
Immediate regret slammed into your chest like a boulder in Sen's Fortress. Your eyes darted to dancing flames of the bonfire, and your heart skittered wildly within your ribcage. While the heat from the lake of lava scorched your body, it felt cool in comparison to the fire of humiliation blistering you.
But, you continued:
"I....many times...have questioned my purpose on this journey," the tip of your finger dragged across the dirt, tracing little patterns within its red hues. "Whether or not I was simply chasing my own tail...if carrying the torch for a poor, fallen knight was enough of an aspiration for some nameless Undead..."
"Why do you speak this way? Surely, you're not-"
"No, no! I promise," you shook your head. "I just- well, I...I am just relating to your plight is all."
You watched his scrutinizing face for a second or two, hoping he would at least believe you. But, his wrinkled brow and frown indicated otherwise, causing your heart to sink. Your insides squirmed and writhed, wishing desperately just to flee from this moment. The equivalent of this myriad of uncomfortable feelings mirrored that of a disappointed father scrutinizing his misbehaving child.
But...why? Such a silly emotion made little sense.
Especially in the company of one of the few fellow Undead you trusted on this quest...
"I'm quite sorry," you forced out a thin laugh. "My comforting skills are not what they used to be..."
"Worry not, my friend," he replied. "As long as you refuse to succumb to your own doubts, you are victorious," he gazed at you with such a tender sincerity, your pulse nearly surrendered to the affection in which you were drowning. "At the very least, you are not chasing a fantastical dream like this sorry, old fool."
"Don't you dare say that!"
"Am I wrong?"
"I think you are..."
"Why is that?"
In this period of ponderous silence as you attempted to devise your next reply, you listened to the bubbling of the lava, a small indication of the expedition ahead: the searing of your flesh to the bone again...and again...until you reached your destination. the hacks and slashes of ravenous foes ripping you to fine shreds as a dried leaf. Heart racing, you glanced up at your comrade, who watched you with curiosity, a gentle curiosity. Slowly, the sharp claws of anxiety eased its clutch over your heart, as it always had in his soothing presence, much like the brilliant sun's rays peeking through a veil of fog.
From the very beginning, after receiving nothing but pain and suffering trudging through the Undead Burg, he stood as a beacon, a safe haven, far more than even the bonfires you continuous respawned at after each death, truly a balm for your weary soul. Seeing the aura of his summon sign filled you with a joy no words could properly articulate.
It was almost as if the man possessed a innate intuition, always appearing you when desperately needed him most.
As silly as it sounded, in a most ironic twist of fate, he became your sun.
He was the sun; your sun.
Your face flushed the deepest of reds for merely thinking it...but it was the thought screamed to loud at the forefront of your mind, you could push it aside no longer.
"Solaire," you whispered, your voice barely bouncing against the walls of the tunnel.
"Yes, my friend?"
Hold onto your bravery, you told yourself. This chance may never come again.
Touching his shoulder, without hesitating to examine his wide eyes, you softly pressed your lips to his. Despite the insufferable torridness of the cavern, the sweat sticking to your faces, the heat radiating off each other's exhausted bodies, the movement of his velvety lips against yours sparked pleasant shivers down your spine. Much to your surprise, he smoothly cupped the back of your head, opening his mouth to deepen this kiss. Suddenly, the feelings you harbored so long towards your guardian angel burst inside you as a volcanic geyser in the Demon Ruins; overwhelming but strangely relieving. Touching you by the waist, he urged you close to him, your fingers knotting into each other's hair. The need for air mattered so little until your lungs nearly collapsed in on themselves. You pulled away with a gasp and rested your chin against his shoulder, still unwilling to release him from your hold. Before any sense of shame could creep up on you, the knight nestled his face into the crook of your neck, easing his arms around you in a full embrace.
Never before had you ever felt so safe, so at peace.
"By the gods, is it ever hot," you grumbled still with a grin plastered to your face.
"Is it really?" he chuckled. "I didn't notice."
"You jest."
"Maybe."
Slowly, he brought his lips just above your ear, his breath provoking goosebumps to prickle along your skin.
He laughed, slyly this time, and said,
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for me."
Your heart sprinted and jumped towards the nearest cliff.
Had that rascal known since Anor Londo?
You greatly underestimated his perception.
Cheeks still hot with humiliation, you cleared your throat, and spoke,
"Yes, well, we have much to traverse here. I assume if we-WAH-!"
Before you could stand, he jerked you back into a hug.
"I wish to remain here a while longer," he said, resting his chin back onto your shoulder.
You possessed neither the heart nor the will to fight him. In all honesty, you were perfectly fine with this. With a sigh of utter delight, you draped your arms about him once more, and closed your eyes.
Perhaps, even if your greater purposes faded out of existence, you could still find a reason to cling to your humanity within each other.
Just as he was your sun, maybe you too could be his reason to live.