Chapter Text
Their team consisted of Gai, Kakashi, and Yamanaka Ino. It was a rare configuration, but not an unpleasant one. Gai always relished in battling with his Eternal Rival, and Ino was a formidable kunoichi who had risen above and beyond the expectations of her clan.
Resources were spread thin, but this emergent threat had to be disposed of. Tsunade was particularly disgusted at their debriefing. A small cell of deviled sex traffickers had been prowling across the elemental nations evading capture. Intelligence from Sunagakure indicated they were headed toward the Land of Fire next. The cell was lead by a triumvirate of powerful missing-nin; the strongest of the three had a technique not unlike that of the Yamanaka, which explained Ino’s presence - it was not a Mind-Body Disturbance, but another form of mental possession, perhaps a kekkei genkai or, less likely, a hidden genjutsu.
The other two missing-nin were a proficient swordsman and Earth style user each. Together, Gai and Kakashi could exploit the pair’s weakness - not to mention all three of them were S class rogues, and required the combined strength of elite jounin. Coupled with Ino’s expertise, it looked like a difficult, but straightforward, mission.
After the debriefing they analyzed the information before parting ways to spend the night in preparation. Early the next morning, they bid goodbye to their own respective teams and departed.
The objective was to dispel the group before they could take root in the Land of Fire and, more importantly, free their hostages. Sunagakure’s intelligence indicated the last sighting southeast of the shared border, but after that they’d have to pick up the trail themselves.
Travel with few stops took only a handful of days. They inspected the location of the group’s last known sighting, relieved to find evidence of a hasty, bloody evacuation at their camp - which meant they’d either caught wind of the team’s approach, or a skirmish had broken out. Undeterred, Kakashi summoned his ninken, Urushi, to sniff out the remnants of the camp, and the dog tracked the group a half-day’s passage to a grassy field.
The team crouched low in the peripheral forestry. Kakashi looked at his ninken. “Urushi?”
“They’re here, boss. A couple miles north.”
“Thank you,” Kakashi murmured, and dismissed him.
They carefully wound low across the plain, unobscured by trees. Kakashi lifted his hita-ate, scanning the horizon with the Sharingan. He halted, and the other two stopped behind him.
“There,” he pointed ahead, where he sensed a mass of people congregating behind a copse of shrubbery. “It’s the civilians. In plain sight.”
“How many?” Ino asked.
His gaze hardened. “A lot.”
“They’re baiting us,” Gai suspected.
The trio jumped to their feet at the sudden flare of chakra behind them. Gai thrusted his arm up to block a kick from above; the missing-nin’s hit connected, forcing Gai to skid backward. He pushed the combatinant away, who followed through with a midair flip and landed smoothly.
“Go,” Gai yelled to Kakashi and Ino, “free the civilians!”
Kakashi pinned him with a split-second gaze; he was a professional, and knew Gai’s prowess better than anyone, but still - don’t be stupid, don’t die, his eyes said. Gai flashed him a confident grin, then turned back to the missing-nin before him as Kakashi and Ino ran in the other direction.
The missing-nin smirked, unsheathing his katana. At the same time, Gai armed himself with his nunchaku.
He braced the nunchaku in front of him just as the missing-nin brought his sword down. A loud clang echoed as they separated, leaving a resounding gust of air. They stalked each other in a circle, the missing-nin twirling his katana.
“You’re Maito Gai, the Beast,” he said. “Why aren’t you blue?”
“For your sake, I hope it does not come to that,” Gai replied, and flickered out of sight. He materialized behind the missing-nin, rammed his nunchaku into the man’s spine; the man buckled, and Gai widened his stance, letting his weight fall on his back foot, then launched the man into the air with a strong kick.
The missing-nin jammed his katana deep into the earth to slow his fall. He rose on his feet and disengaged the blade, leveling a smirk at Gai. “I’m not the one you should be worried about.”
Gai did not let his confusion show. He advanced forward, the nunchaku a blur. The missing-nin parried, fluidly meeting every hit. Gai doubled his attack. He managed to loop the cable of his nunchaku around the blade, and sent it flying behind them.
Disarmed, the missing-nin began a series of signs. Gai smashed his hands before the jutsu could be completed, relishing in the sound of crunching bone. He hit him again, and the missing-nin’s nose snapped and spouted blood.
Gai stepped back to gain wider berth - a foolish move. The missing-nin dropped to his knees and retrieved the hilt of his sword in his broken hand. He whirled, low to the ground, and slashed before Gai could evade.
Gai stumbled, blood dripping down his side. Far off, a wall of stone burst through the ground, only to be splintered by chidori.
“You cannot be bested,” he declared, invigorated by the sight of his Eternal Rival’s power, and leapt into the Leaf Hurricane. The missing-nin futilely defended against his barrage of kicks; the katana snapped in half. Gai finished his move. The missing-nin barreled into ground - his spine split against the earth, which cracked beneath him, dispelling a cloud of dust.
Gai retrieved a kunai from his thigh pouch, and in one smooth motion slit the missing-nin’s throat. His blood splattered across Gai’s front, staining the green of his jumpsuit and that of the grass around them.
He let the kunai drop to the ground, and touched the wound in his side. His opponent’s katana had been sharp, and the wound oozed thickly. But there was no time to bandage it properly. He remembered the missing-nin’s warning - I’m not the one you should be worried about - and took off in the direction of Kakashi and Ino.
The ground trembled as Gai neared, and he saw Kakashi involved with the Earth user, dodging pillars of stone and counter-attacking with flashes of electricity. Gai searched for Ino. She was corralling the civilian hostages to a safe spot yards away.
“Where is the third enemy?” Gai asked upon reaching her.
She shook her head. “Hasn’t shown up yet; they’re weakened.” She gestured to the group of civilians huddled together; most of them were women and children, grim but determined. “There was a revolt, of sorts. All the lesser conspirators were killed at that camp.”
Gai sent everyone a glorious thumbs-up. “That is fantastic! Truly, your courage and vivacity have been proven today!” His countenance shifted. “Is anyone injured?”
“I already asked,” Ino said clinically, “nothing life-threatening for the survivors. I’ll have to treat them afterward; we’re still waiting on that kekkei genkai user.” Her eyes widened at the wound in his side. “Gai-sensei.”
“Don’t worry,” Gai told her. “Protect the civilians - I will join Kakashi!”
She nodded.
The second missing-nin was volleying boulders at Kakashi. He rolled out of the way, only to encounter another hurtling toward him. In the nick of time, Gai leapt into the fray and smashed the boulder with a roundhouse kick. The resulting gravel rained down as Kakashi rose to his side.
“Gai.”
“Rival.”
Simultaneously leaping into the air, Kakashi broke through the Earth user’s offense with successive bolts of lightning, distracting him in order to allow a window for Gai’s Dynamic Entry. The attack sent the missing-nin hurtling toward the ground; Gai surfed on top of him through a fracturing rivulet of earth. When the dust settled, Gai ground his foot into the missing-nin’s windpipe. The Earth user coughed blood and fell limp.
“Two down, one to go,” Kakashi intoned. His Sharingan whirled. “Where is he?”
Screams pierced the air as someone jumped up from the civilians’ midst. Ino shouted a warning toward the two jounin.
Kakashi and Gai tightened into a defensive stance as the person approached. It was a woman. She stood before them wearing plainclothes, but radiated enmity - a disguise, then.
Sure enough, twin blades slipped down her sleeves, into her hands. “Enough playing around,” she barked, and the blades flared with dark chakra.
Kakashi slanted his hitai-ate in reverse, so that only his Sharingan showed. “Close your eyes, Gai!”
Gai did, trusting his Rival’s heightened sight to make up for his lack. The woman cackled, however, and jeered: “There’s no need for that kind of nonsense.”
“Stay by me,” Kakashi ordered and flattened against Gai’s back.
Gai felt a disturbance in the air as the rogue kunoichi implemented her assault. He blocked her blades with the nunchaku, but felt the chakra burn through its cable. He dropped the nunchaku to his feet and reached behind to grab one of the kunai holstered on Kakashi’s hip.
Kakashi gripped his wrist to stop him, but it was too late. The kunoichi swiped at his exposed side, widening the existing wound. Gai gasped, doubling over. Kakashi steadied him. “Gai!”
Gai grit his teeth. “Do not worry.”
The kunoichi stepped back, laughing. “Too easy - my men have prepared you already. At least they’re good for something.”
“What do you mean?” Kakashi demanded. The kunoichi couldn’t have noticed, but Gai heard the edge of panicked confusion in his Rival’s voice - even the Sharingan could not predict what was about to happen.
She flipped through a pattern of rapid signs. Kakashi copied them expertly.
Gai inhaled sharply. “My Eternal Rival, whatever she makes me do, promise me that you will - “
A moment later, Gai’s body snapped to rigidity. His eyes opened without conscious command. The kunoichi smiled at him cruelly, and Kakashi’s breath hitched behind him, his copy ineffective. It was a kekkei genkai.
Suddenly, a tagged kunai landed at the kunoichi’s feet. Kakashi tried pulling Gai away from the imminent explosion, but his body was immovable.
Go , Gai mentally begged. Thankfully, Kakashi leapt out of the way.
The tag went off, scorching Gai in its blast. He remained on his knees, his jumpsuit burnt and skin blistered.
The kunoichi snarled, pivoted, and was met with Ino.
Ino said nothing and proceeded to flash through hand signs, holding the final sign in front of her face. Her body dropped into the grass.
Transfer successful, the kunoichi’s expression widened to shock as Ino learned her immediate plan of action. “It’s the chakra,” she quickly reported, “it’s in your blood, contaminating your nervous system, Gai - I won’t be able to counter it with jutsu or an antidote. My gods - why? She’s going to - “ The kunoichi screeched. In the grass, Ino reanimated, forced out of the kunoichi’s body. She sat up, wheezing, and sorrowfully beseeched Kakashi. “You have to disable Gai, before he - “
“Enough!” The missing-nin’s chakra blades snuffed out, but she did not release her grip on them. “Don’t say another word, blondie.”
Kakashi moved in front of Gai protectively. “Ino, get the others out of here.”
“But Kakashi-sensei - “
“Quiet. You did all you could. Their safety is priority. Now go!”
She pursed her lips but did not hesitate in running to the civilians, and began ushering them out of sight through the forest. The nearest village was hours away by civilian pace.
Kakashi shoved his hitai-ate upward, revealing his other eye now that it was clear there would be no genjutsu at play. “The rest of your group has been demolished by your victims,” he said, “and we’ve taken out your accomplices. Stand down.”
The kunoichi scoffed. “Do you not remember me?”
Kakashi’s mask hid his frown as he contemplated her silently. Gai could only listen to their exchange, frozen at Kakashi’s feet.
She wove toward them through the grass. “Years ago, you found me. I was just a little girl from Kirigakure, in the lowest caste. You Leaf shinobi thought you could save us from that hell - but the moment you left, another bunch of bastards took their place. I saved myself and took over operations. There is something so satisfying in retribution, is there not? I’ve accomplished more than any of my damned predecessors - and now you will know my pain!”
Gai felt his body move, like he was watching from the inside out, helpless to stop anything. Kakashi apparated two shadow clones before he tackled him to the ground. The clones grazed the kunoichi with shuriken followed by chidori, but she dispelled them with two quick jabs of her blades.
“You’re hopeless,” she informed, sauntering forward yet again. With a flick of her wrist, Gai’s legs snapped against Kakashi’s sides, pinning him in place. “I am lucky the puppet is so physically endowed.”
Gai stared into Kakashi’s eyes, unable to speak but screaming inside. Kakashi returned his gaze, pupils shrunken to pinpoints.
My Eternal Rival, whatever she makes me do, promise me that you will -
But of course, Kakashi couldn’t. He did not retaliate when Gai flipped him onto his stomach. Horror filled Gai’s chest as he realized what was about to take place. At least, he thought dreadfully, he did not have to see the betrayal on Kakashi’s face, shoved into the ground as it was.
“It’s okay, Gai,” Kakashi comforted, his words muffled. “It’ll be okay. Trust me.”
Relentless tears streamed down Gai’s face. This, the kunoichi humiliatingly allowed.
Gai’s wretched fingers tugged at Kakashi’s vest. He could feel the pain, strangely dampened, blossoming across his burnt hands as he stripped Kakashi naked. Gai had dreamt of this sight. In any other circumstances, he would be pleased to find that his fantasies of pale, calloused skin scarred with years of gallant valor were accurate. Now, he only saw his blooded hands tarnishing Kakashi’s lean, muscled body.
Kakashi continued rambling. Whether it was for his own sake or Gai’s was unknown. “It’s fine. If it has to be you - it’s fine. It’ll be fine.”
Gai had never once succumbed to suicidal thoughts, but now they plagued his mind, worsened only by Kakashi’s despondent acceptance. He could not live with this guilt. His beloved Eternal Rival went boneless underneath him.
Above, the kunoichi made a sharp sound. Gai only saw himself prodding Kakashi’s legs apart in preparation of an innermost violation.
But then -
Kakashi bucked under his hold, and vanished. It had been another shadow clone.
Gai fell, thoroughly gobsmacked. Equal parts relieved and terrified, he listened to the kunoichi growl and the sounds of several other clones popping into existence. The shuriken, Gai remembered. He’d been too stressed to notice. When Kakashi made the two clones, a third double had taken his place. The shuriken thrown was only a diversion, in order to transport the real Kakashi behind the kunoichi.
Countless chidori crackled hot and loud, raising the hairs on Gai’s arms. He could not look, but knew that the clones were about to attack the kunoichi all at once. Escape was impossible. He should not have doubted his Eternal Rival.
A storm of lightning sliced through the kunoichi, and she dropped dead. Gai felt his body unlock as her chakra diminished.
Silence followed. He stayed still on the ground. Blood seeped into the grass, trailing toward him. Its scent filled his nostrils, coupled by the ozone in the air. The clones evaporated as quickly as they had appeared.
Kakashi stood above the fallen kunoichi in full uniform, his fist still crackling with energy.
Gai began sobbing into the dirt. Unremoved from his body, the physical pain resumed full throttle. But a deeper pain laid underneath, a pain which he knew could not be healed. It tore into his mind and heart, exacerbated.
Kakashi stepped toward him softly. He knelt down, but did not touch him. “Gai.”
He could say nothing. What words or apology befit an instance such as this?
“You’re injured. We need to get back to Ino. She can heal you.”
Kakashi laid a hand on his hair, the only part of him not entirely bloodied or burnt. He stroked him gently, in what was meant to be a reassuring manner.
“I don’t blame you. I could never blame you for that. It wasn’t your fault.”
If only he’d been faster, Gai thought. If only he hadn’t gotten struck by the swordsman. A thousand scenarios cycled through his mind, a thousand things he should have done better to avoid the tragedy which just occured.
“You didn’t - she didn’t finish what she started. I didn’t let her. I would never let that happen.” Gai flinched when Kakashi rested his other hand on his non-wounded side, intending to pick him up; Kakashi retracted. His voice was wrecked with agonizing concern. “Please, let me help you.”
Gai would do anything for his Eternal Rival. Mandated by the request, he rolled onto his back. His chest shuddered as he breathed. No longer sobbing audibly, silent tears fell from his closed eyes. He was unable to look Kakashi in the eye.
“I’ll retrieve the bodies later,” Kakashi said, then summoned one of his dogs and sent it ahead to alert Ino.
He didn’t say anything else, only carried Gai in his arms. His chakra must’ve been spent, but his pace did not slow as he crashed through the forest. Gai remained motionless. Sometime during the trip, he passed out due to mental exhaustion.
Then what felt like minutes later, Kakashi was dropping to the forest floor.
Ino had made camp on the small village’s outskirts. She was prepared for their arrival. A fire crackled, sending a ribbon of smoke up into the trees, and a bedroll laid beside with medical supplies at the ready. Kakashi lowered Gai tenderly, then departed to fetch the missing-nins’ corpses.
Gai avoided Ino’s determined gaze, remembering her shock during the Mind Body Switch. She must’ve known what was going to happen. According to Kakashi’s clothed appearance, she also knew it did not come to fruition, but that didn’t matter. It’d been too close of a call.
“If I may?” Ino took his silence as an affirmative, and cut away his jumpsuit. She healed the burns underneath, fresh skin sizzling over the blisters. “Sorry about that. I didn’t know you were trapped.”
Gai did not reply. She continued wordlessly, mended the injury on his side, and redressed him in a spare joinin uniform of Kakashi’s, minus the vest; Gai hadn’t thought to bring an extra jumpsuit. Wearing Kakashi’s clothes filled him with shame, but he did not announce it. The sleeves and pant legs were far too short.
“That’s most of it.” She leaned back. “Honestly, your recuperating time is crazy. With a little rest, you’ll be fine.” She paused. “Physically, I mean.”
Gai turned his head, Ino was crying.
“I’m so sorry, Gai-sensei. I couldn’t stop it. I’d never seen anything like that technique - then she kicked me out. I saw what - what she - I tried telling Kakashi, but he told me to leave, so I did. I should have done better.”
“No,” Gai croaked. His throat was parched, vocal chords scraping against each other. “You did the right thing. You saved those people. They are safe. That’s all…” He inhaled. “That’s all that matters.”
She grinned through her tears. “Sensei or not, you’re the most knuckleheaded person I’ve ever known, besides Naruto. Trying to make me feel better, at a time like this.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Kakashi looks okay, though. I don’t know what happened, but I’m just glad that didn’t.” Her brow furrowed, and for all her resolve and experience, the next word came out nervously girlish. “Right?”
Gai nodded, once. It was all he could manage.
“Right!” Ino’s determination was back. She was a perfect specimen of youth. “Don’t worry, Gai-sensei, it’ll be okay.”
It was the same thing Kakashi had told him. He still did not believe it.
“You need to sleep. Can you walk?”
She guided him into the tent. They only had one, to lessen unnecessary baggage. Gai was sore, and lethargic. Everything felt a bit unreal. Ino laid him back down on another bedroll and tucked him in; he imagined this was how she acted in the hospital, crassly attentive the same as Sakura, but she wouldn’t approve being told that.
After forcing him to drink water, Ino sat beside him, diligently vigil. “I won’t tell anyone,” she promised. “But I want you to know I don’t think of you any differently. The civilians - they’re at the inn, right now - the things they told me they had to do… But it’s not their fault. It was all her . And she’s dead now. It was her, not you, Gai-sensei. However far it went or not. You can’t blame yourself.”
Gai appreciated the sentiment, pointless as it was. “Thank you,” he said, for her benefit.
Her lips twitched, as if she knew he were lying. “Anyway, I shouldn’t be keeping you up. Sleep. Soon. Or I’ll have to give you some pills.”
It was a threat; Gai was known for disliking basic medicines. He used to believe they were below him, when he had strict control of his body. Now, his opinion had changed. “Perhaps,” he said, “that would be for the best.”
She blinked, “Of course,” but quickly contained her surprise and retrieved the pills.
Gai collapsed into a mercifully dreamless sleep. When he awoke, the dark sky leered at him through the tent flaps. He was unsurprised to see Kakashi next to him, but still immediately uncomfortable.
“Get out.”
“No.” Kakashi’s mask was down. A sign of vulnerability, honesty - no barriers between them. It wasn’t anything Gai hadn’t seen before. He stared at his mole, at the slightly elongated canines poking out from his upper lip. Anything to not look into his eyes.
“I will open the sixth gate if you do not leave.”
“You don’t have it in you right now. And besides, it goes against your code of honor.”
Gai’s mouth flattened. “You speak of honor, as if I have any.”
“Gai.” Kakashi was exhausted. “This doesn’t change anything.”
Anger flooded him. “No, Kakashi - it changes everything.”
Kakashi did not look away. He was a brave man. But he did reconsider his wording. “I’m sorry. I meant to say, this doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
How I feel about you? Gai searched his eyes finally, looking for the deeper meaning behind those words. He knew Kakashi better than anyone - anyone alive, at least. Kakashi’s face was exposed, his body language open to read, and still, Gai could not solve the mystery. If it has to be you - it’s fine. What did that mean?
“I am unworthy to be called your Rival,” he said instead.
“I thought that was eternal.”
“Not anymore. Not after today.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?” Kakashi questioned.
Gai relented. He never could deny Kakashi, and especially not now. “What do you have to say?”
“You’ll always my Rival.” Kakashi enunciated the last word with gravity. “Nothing will ever keep me from you.”
“You are being uncharacteristically poetic. You read too many of those books,” Gai accused. “I have no need for your empty declarations.”
“I suppose you don’t.” Kakashi shifted, laying down next to him on the hard ground. “May I touch you?”
Gai stiffened. “I would prefer it if you did not.”
“So is that a hard no, or a soft yes?”
Gai sighed. “It is whatever you wish it to be.”
Kakashi rolled onto his side. He looked at Gai for a long moment, then slowly snaked his arm over Gai’s stomach. “Is this okay?”
“How can you be near me right now?” Gai blurted out.
“You look nice in my clothes,” Kakashi said, and palmed the spot where Gai had been wounded. “Little small, though. I always hated that you were taller than me when we were kids.”
Gai’s chest clenched. “Do not speak of those times. Their memory should not be spoiled.”
“Nothing’s spoiled, Gai. And you said I’m the dramatic one.”
“Kakashi, please, answer my question.”
Kakashi exhaled, his breath ghosting Gai’s shoulder. “If I answer yours, will you answer mine?”
Gai frowned. He did not know what Kakashi could ask of him, unless it was something terrible. “Yes.”
“Of course I was scared,” Kakashi said, and quickly added, “but not of you. It might’ve been your body, but it wasn’t you. I wasn’t scared of her, either. I knew what I needed to do.” Somehow, he always inadvertently advertised his genius. “I was scared of what it would do to our relationship… of what it would do to you.”
“That is ridiculous,” Gai snapped. “I hurt you. I tore your clothes off. I saw you” - Gai made a small, hurt sound - “naked.”
“It was a clone.”
“That makes no difference.”
“Well - it wasn’t with my consent,” Kakashi told him, and held onto him a bit tighter, “but it wasn’t with yours, either. As for the nakedness, I might’ve wished it happened differently, but that’s the least of my worries.”
“I am sorry, Kakashi,” Gai apologized. He remembered the sight of Kakashi’s bare skin, and could not stop thinking about its beauty, and the sad circumstance surrounding it. “From the bottom of my soul, I promise there will never be another time when I see you like that again.”
Kakashi’s expression hardened, as if Gai had said something wrong. “It was out of your control.”
Gai wanted to move on. He braced himself. “What was your question?”
“Ah.” Kakashi moved his hand up to Gai’s chest, directly over his beating heart. “What you said, before she took over - what did you want me to promise?”
Gai peered at him. “You know.”
“Prove me wrong.”
“I cannot do that.”
His newly issued shirt twisted underneath Kakashi’s fingers. “I see.”
“If it had taken any longer, you should have - “
“No,” Kakashi refused. “Never.”
“But - “
“I thought you knew me better than that.”
Gai knew of Kakashi’s hesitancies, and chose his next words carefully. “It would not have been a mistake, nor a casualty.”
“That’s not it,” Kakashi said. “You’re lying.”
Fresh tears gathered at the corners of Gai’s eyes. He hated for Kakashi to see him unravel yet again, but could not help it. “If you had not been able to stop it, I couldn’t live with myself afterwards. I would rather die.”
“I’ve never known you to be a coward.”
“That is what I have become.”
Kakashi didn’t reply. There wasn’t anything to say. He gathered Gai to his chest and let him cry. Against his better judgement, Gai clutched him back.
“That’s it,” Kakashi encouraged, patting Gai on the back like he was a child. “Let it all out.”
Gai felt stifled. He pushed against Kakashi and was released. He needed to be alone. “I would like to rest.”
“You need to eat.”
“I have no appetite.” If he ate anything, he was positive he’d vomit.
Kakashi hesitated. “I’ll be right outside. Ino offered first watch, so I’ll be back later.”
Gai turned his back to him. He listened to Kakashi shuffle out of the tent, but did not fall asleep for a long time.
The next morning they broke camp. Gai insisted on helping. Ino was correct - his body had recovered, and he was only a little sore. He moved silently, untalkative, and stayed behind as Kakashi and Ino went to speak with the civilian hostages, who were now considered refugees. They were weary, and wanted no further travel; the compassionate village agreed to house them while they waited for their countries’ respective delegates to arrive.
Ino took point on their way back. Kakashi stayed with Gai, who walked slowly. He initiated a stream of one-sided discussion of their students’ progress, the expected autumnal season encroaching upon Konoha, and theorized the exact size of Tsunade’s breasts.
Gai noticed Kakashi kept his distance but was watching him closely. He felt scrutinized, which multiplied his shame. But he had to trust Kakashi’s forgiveness, even if he could not trust himself.
Kakashi gave up speaking as the days progressed. He was never one for small talk, and ran out of things to say. Gai was eager to get back to Konoha so he could flee Kakashi and be rid of this newfound awkwardness between them, but was not looking forward to making his official report.
A couple days later the wonderful Konoha gates loomed ahead. They signed in and entered the village proper. Ino restrained herself, sticking by Kakashi and Gai even when she spotted Chouji waving excitedly next to the less enthused Shikamaru.
“No time to chat, bozoes,” she said, “I’ve got to go see the Hokage.”
Chouji whined - “We were gonna take you out for dinner!”
“Come off it,” Shikamaru reprimanded, “you just want an excuse to pig out.” He had seen the tense line of Ino’s shoulders. “We’ll meet up later.”
Kakashi’s students were similarly disappointed, or Naruto was at least. “Sakura’s got a hospital shift. But I was thinking we could get some ramen and visit her! Last time I showed up unannounced she punched me through a wall, but I know her break starts soon, and - “
“Sorry, Naruto,” Kakashi said, not moving from Gai’s side. “I’ve got some things to work out.”
“Ugh! That’s so lame.”
Sai inched forward. “Naruto-kun, you really shouldn’t impose your company onto others when it’s clearly unwanted.”
“You know what, Sai , you really oughta learn when to keep your trap shut - “ They ignored Kakashi in favor of an impromptu wrestling match. Well, Naruto instigated it, and Sai merely reacted.
Gai knew his beautiful students would not be so easily deterred, especially one student in particular.
“Gai-sensei!” Rock Lee bounded down the street and abruptly halted with a quick bow. “I am sorry I was late! I have increased my training regimine in your absence by tenfold - I was just making my five hundredth lap around the village when I heard Naruto-kun yelling - “
Naruto looked up from Sai’s chokehold. “Hey!”
“ - so I figured your team had arrived.” He inhaled and immediately spoke again. “I can assure you that my performance has not flagged! In fact, I am more than prepared for our sparring than ever!” He finished with a magnificent cool guy pose, his blinding smile forcing everyone to cover their eyes.
Gai was moved by Rock Lee’s words. His most precious pupil could never know what had transpired mere days before - yet Gai could not teach under false pretenses, either. He struggled to make an excuse. Rock Lee resumed talking.
“Neji and Tenten are currently catching a bite to eat. I thought we’d meet them and all four of us could go to the training grounds afterward. They won’t admit it, but I know the both of them have missed you as much as I have!”
Gai stepped toward him. “Rock Lee, I am impressed with your dedication as usual. You never cease to amaze me. But as Kakashi said, there are some,” he fished for the correct word, “complications that need to be taken care of.”
Rock Lee’s smile fell. “Complications? Is everything all right? Wait - what happened to your hip and fashionable attire?”
Kakashi put a hand on Gai’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. Gai will work it out.”
“Of course he will,” Rock Lee insisted, bristling. “Gai-sensei is the strongest shinobi there is! Whatever has happened, I am sure it will be dealt with accordingly.” He turned back to Gai. “When do you think you’ll be finished? I’ll let Neji and Tenten know.”
“It grieves me, but I don’t think I will have time to spar,” Gai said, expending great effort to hide his sorrow.
Rock Lee frowned. “But Gai-sensei, you’ve always said that training is the best way to decompress from a mission and reorient your mind.”
“Yes, well - “
“Look, we really gotta go,” Ino interjected. At the same time, Kakashi squeezed Gai’s shoulder.
Rock Lee spluttered, stepping side. “A-alright then.”
It pained Gai to see his flummoxed expression. He could not think of any reassurances to offer. Ino and Kakashi pushed him forward, and he passed his student without a word.
Once they were a few streets away, Gai shrugged off Kakashi’s touch.
“He’s a good kid,” Kakashi said. “He’ll understand.”
Gai scowled. “Do not say that. He will never know what happened.”
Ino looked back and forth between them. Gai was sick of forcing her to see two grown jounin caught in disagreements and fear - they were supposed to be an example. He briskly walked ahead.
They arrived at Tsunade’s office shortly. Gai stopped at the door, his anger deflating. He had to tell the Hokage. Memories crawled up his throat, churned in his stomach. And he had to tell the Hokage.
Ino went in first. She bowed. “Hokage-sama.”
Kakashi waited. Gai summed up his last dregs of courage and followed Ino.
His Rival walked around them both. He unshouldered his pack and turned it upside down, depositing the heads of the three missing-nin onto Tsunade’s desk. “There you go.” Gai wondered how thoroughly Kakashi had destroyed their bodies.
Shizune hurried over and took the evidence out of the room. Tsunade blinked.
“Something happened, I presume?”
Ino wrung her hands. Kakashi looked at Gai. Tsunade cocked a brow.
“Okay. We’ll do this one at a time.” She addressed Kakashi and Ino. “You two, wait outside.”
They went to the hall, shutting the door behind them.
“Gai, you’re not only an exemplary shinobi, but a huge loudmouth,” Tsunade said. “If something has troubled you to speechlessness, that’s cause for immediate concern. You don’t look significantly injured - so what is it?”
He fell into one of the chairs before her desk, and thought of the ANBU standing guard, listening in. “I apologize for my reluctance to divulge necessary information. I know it is unbecoming of a shinobi, especially in the presence of his Hokage.”
Tsunade regarded him quizzically, then looked over her shoulder to the window behind her. “All of you, scram. I mean it.” A faint flicker of chakra signified the retreat of any ANBU present. “Is that better?”
“No, it is not.” Gai straightened in his seat. He would face his damnation with dignity, or the scant amount of it he had left. “The brave civilians we were sent to rescue had already defeated the majority of their captors. Ino tended to them, while Kakashi and I battled two of the three leaders. They were eliminated sufficiently.” Gai cleared his throat. “The strongest of the three was hiding amongst the civilians, and upon the death of her partners, revealed herself. She used blades infused with chakra. I was already wounded, and she somehow manipulated her chakra into my bloodstream and nervous system through the open wound - Ino-chan attempted a Mind Body Switch to reverse the effects, learned the missing-nin’s intent but was unsuccessful in stopping her - and the kunoichi obtained full control of my body.”
Tsunade knew the details of this group, including those of its prime leader. Surely, she understood where this was going, but betrayed nothing. “Then what?”
“Kakashi ordered Ino-chan to retreat with the civilians. The missing-nin mentioned something about one of Kakashi’s previous missions involving herself, when she was young and victimized - she considered the mission a failure, and misguidedly sought retribution of the same victimization against him personally.”
He stopped, unable to go on. Tsunade set two sake cups on her desk, and filled them to the brim. “In my experience, this can help.” She knocked the sake back and rose to stand directly in front of him. “Have some.”
Gai followed her suggestion. He allowed the alcohol to sear down his throat. It did not help.
“Just get it over with,” Tsunade ordered.
He crawled out of his chair. He groveled at her feet, his forehead pressed against the floor. She looked down at him with wide eyes.
“Hokage-sama, I have made a grave offense against my fellow Leaf shinobi! I was forced to act out the missing-nin’s fetishtic retribution against Hatake Kakashi. She commanded me to do so against my will. I pinned Kakashi down. I removed his clothing.” Gai gasped, choking on his next words. “I prepared to violate him. With the use of shadow clones, Kakashi escaped my grasp. His real body appeared behind the missing-nin. He disposed of her skillfully and I regained function. But the damage had been done. I accept any punishment you deem fit!”
“Get the hell up.”
Gai scrambled to his feet. Tsunade watched him for a minute before speaking.
“It’s not unheard of. You were manipulated by an enemy. There was a chance of this happening. I knew it, you knew it. The extent of that manipulation was unexpected, but immaterial. Kakashi was unharmed, as were you. Your team completed all of the mission’s objectives. There is nothing more you could have done.” Her voice took on a more sympathetic tone. “I understand the psychological effects following this will not be easily overcome. Take a few days off, and come back. We’ll see where to go from there.”
“But, Hokage-sama - “
She held up a hand. “That will be all. I never want to see you at my feet again.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama.”
Tsunade poured another cup of sake. Gai exited her office. Across the hallway, Kakashi and Ino moved from the wall.
Gai left.
He went to his apartment. He took a long shower. He ran one thousand laps around the village. By the time he got back home, his body was on fire. He did alternating sets of one hundred pushups and situps. He went through every innumerable kata he knew, ten times. He drank a glass of water. He did not eat. He took another shower. He polished each piece of weaponry he owned. It was dark outside. He could not sleep. He did not want to sleep, because he knew nightmares would frighten him awake. He went out to the farthest training ground and punched trees and rocks to dust.
Finally, he collapsed. His chest heaved with desperate breaths. The stars oscillated above him. One constellation traveled to the other side of the sky. He’d been laying there for hours. He got up. He went to his apartment. He sat on the floor. He stared at the wall. It was dawn. He did not sleep. He did not cry. He had no more tears.
There was a knock at the window. Kakashi entered his apartment without permission. He pulled his mask down again; part of a new routine, it seemed.
“You’re going to kill yourself.” It was meant as a joke, but Kakashi did not sound amused.
Gai didn’t move. “Please leave.”
“Your kids have been asking me about you. Neji and Tenten are worried now, too. They’ll get Naruto roped into this soon enough. It’ll be bad news.”
Guilt ripped at Gai’s heart. “I don’t know how to face them,” he confessed.
Kakashi poked him with his foot. “Well, they certainly can’t see you looking like this. Have you ate?”
“A little,” Gai lied.
“Sure you did.” Kakashi went into his kitchen. Gai didn’t look to see what he was doing. He came back, holding a bowl of egg on rice. He squatted, and thrusted the bowl and a pair of chopsticks at Gai’s nose. “If you don’t eat this, I’m going to dramatically read all three volumes of Icha Icha Paradise out loud.”
Gai’s lips quirked. It was not a smile, not even close, but Kakashi grinned back anyway, his canines showing.
“Your cooking leaves much to be desired, Rival,” Gai chastised, “but I would eat five hundred of your meals to avoid that.” He accepted the bowl gratefully, and attempted to feign nonchalance. “How did the rest of the report go?”
“The old hag kept Ino in there for about three hours,” Kakashi complained, settling down.
“You should not refer to our Hokage so disrespectfully.”
“She hides her age. I’m just making sure the truth is known.”
“I hope you don’t say it in front of her, at least.”
“It happened once, and I got a broken jaw.”
“As you deserved.”
“Anyway,” Kakashi pressed his foot against Gai’s knee, “I went in last.”
Gai lowered his chopsticks. “And?”
Kakashi shrugged. “Explained what happened. Told her I was fine. Reemphasized the fact it wasn’t your fault multiple times. She wholeheartedly agreed.”
The bowl clunked down onto the floor, half-finished. “Kakashi - “
“I’ll drop it,” Kakashi vowed, “just keep eating.”
Gai knit his brows. He picked up the food and resumed taking small bites. “You said my students approached you? What did you tell them?”
“Nothing specific, I promise. Enough to get them off your case.”
“Thank you.” Kakashi was a good friend, protecting his honor when he had no reason to. The next bite of rice was difficult to swallow. “I don’t know what to do.”
“They’re not so young anymore, Gai, they can take it. Plus, they’re crazy about you - and they always will be.”
Gai finished his food, thinking. Kakashi watched him. A few minutes passed. Gai didn’t remember slumping to the floor and falling asleep. He didn’t remember Kakashi carrying him to bed, either. So when he startled awake and felt the soft sheets, he looked around in confusion.
Kakashi was reading his copy of Icha Icha in the corner of the room. “You’re awake.”
“You drugged me.” It explained the lack of nightmares.
“Would you have slept otherwise?”
Gai sat up. He rubbed his face. “What time is it?”
“Hmmm.” Kakashi peeked through the window curtains. “Maybe three in the afternoon.”
Gai dropped back into the pillows. Unless a mission required it, he hadn’t gotten up later than five in the morning for years.
Kakashi shut his book. The floor creaked as he approached. “Do you mind?”
Gai rolled over. Kakashi slipped under the covers.
“Your feet are cold, Rival.”
“Go back to bed, Gai. It’s one lazy day. Tomorrow, you can train with your kids, all you want.”
Gai didn’t understand Kakashi being so close to him. It wasn’t that it felt unpleasant; it felt very nice. But it confused and worried him. If it was what Kakashi wanted, though, he would allow it, partly because he knew Kakashi would leave him alone if he truly requested it. Having his solid frame pressed against his back was anchoring. Kakashi controlled the situation. So Gai allowed it.
Kakashi’s arms wound around his torso. “Go to bed,” he repeated. “I’m right here, see?” He shoved his cold feet against Gai’s legs.
The sleeping pills - Kakashi probably pilfered them from Ino - had worn off. There was nothing to mask what was hiding in Gai’s subconscious. He stiffened in Kakashi’s arms.
“I don’t know if you should be here,” he said to the wall. “Seeing me like this.”
Kakashi caught on. “Do you remember, when Minato-sensei died?”
Gai tried turning around, but Kakashi prohibited this movement. He humphed, and rubbed a loose thread on the pillowcase between his fingers. “Of course.”
“You were so annoying. Always checking up on me. Staying with me. That one night, when I woke up screaming. You were there.” For a moment, Gai thought he felt Kakashi’s nose on the back of his neck, like he was scenting him; it was weirdly dog-like, and comforting. “I’m just returning the favor.”
“Okay,” Gai said.
He laid awake for a long time. Even when Kakashi started snoring in his ear. Eventually, however, he fell asleep.
First, there was just an oppressive darkness, an inescapable anxiety. Then the world focused into something more peaceful. It was sunny. Kakashi stood in the middle of a training ground.
“I’ve got a challenge for you.”
“I accept, Rival!”
“But I didn’t say what it was.”
Gai struck one of his cool poses. “It doesn’t matter - I will never back down!”
“Have sex with me, Gai.”
Gai faltered. “What?”
“Don’t you want to? I know you do. It’ll be like Icha Icha Paradise. ”
“You can’t be serious, Rival…”
But then Gai was throwing Kakashi to the ground. Kakashi landed roughly. It was not sunny anymore. Kakashi struggled underneath him. “Not like this,” he protested. “Gai, stop it.”
Gai did not stop. He flipped Kakashi onto his front. He grabbed Kakashi’s pants. He pulled them down.
The kunoichi missing-nin haunted the edge of the training ground. Rock Lee appeared behind her, Neji and Tenten in tow. They froze, terrified. “Sensei! What are you doing?”
“Not like this,” Kakashi said. “Don’t let them see.” He pulled his hand free and slapped Gai across the face.
He was conscious again. Gai fell out of bed, onto his knees. Kakashi was leaning over the side of the mattress. “You were yelling. I couldn’t wake you up - I’m sorry.”
“This was a bad idea,” Gai gasped. “You need to go.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Please, just go.”
Gai stumbled to the bathroom and clutched the toilet. He vomited the egg over rice Kakashi had made. He vomited until all that came up was clear saliva, and after that, he dry heaved.
Kakashi sat behind him, rubbed slow circles into his back until he flushed the toilet and rested his forehead on the cold edge of the bathtub.
“Kakashi,” Gai moaned. He wanted him to leave, but knew he would long for his comradery the second it was gone.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Gai uncurled from the bathtub and decided to lay down. The tiles cooled his hot skin. “No.”
“Do you mind if I talk about it?”
He didn’t say anything. Kakashi kept his back against the wall, a foot of space between them.
“I feel guilty,” Kakashi admitted.
Gai looked at him. “How?”
“It was a clone . I wasn’t experiencing it in the moment. You were. You got it a lot worse than I did.”
“But you still remember - “
“Secondhand. I had to wait. I knew what you were going through, and I had to wait for the right time. But I was only listening, observing. I might have inherited the memory, but it wasn’t exactly my own. It doesn’t make any of this better, but I need you to know that.”
“You’re right,” Gai said. He peeled himself off the floor. “It does not make me feel better.”
Kakashi took a deep breath. “When the clone disappeared. All I could think of was the pain in your eyes. I can still see it now. i want to take it away. What can I do?”
Gai wished he had a suitable answer. “There is nothing, Rival.”
“I don’t believe that,” Kakashi said. “I can’t believe that. This isn’t going to break you, Gai.”
“It already has.”
Kakashi scoffed. He pulled his mask back up and stood. “Get up.”
Gai rose in front of him.
Kakashi briskly exited the bathroom. Gai had no choice but to follow. Kakashi rifled through his apartment and located his collection of ankle weights. He tossed a pair at Gai’s stomach.
“Rival - “
“Put them on.” Gai did. “Let’s go.”
Kakashi lead him outside of the village. Konoha’s surrounding forest was flush with signs of autumn. A few trees were prematurely reddening. Leaves detached with the soft breeze, falling gently to the ground; squirrels kicked them up in a mad hunt for nuts and berries.
They arrived at a small clearing. Kakashi stilled, and motioned for Gai to stand across from him.
“Rival, I do not want to spar - “
“We aren’t going to.” Kakashi revealed his Sharingan. “Do you trust me?”
The answer to that question would never change. “With my life.”
“I’m going to try something,” Kakashi informed, and threw Gai into a genjutsu.
The clearing stayed exactly the same. Gai shifted between either foot, waiting. “What is the meaning of this?”
“Think of it as a do-over,” Kakashi said.
A third form entered the clearing, slotting herself between them. Gai’s heart hammered.
“She’s not real,” Kakashi reminded him. “You can do whatever you want.”
Gai shook his head clear. She wasn’t real - of course. He moved his foot back, eyes narrowing, and took a steadying breath. “I am ready.”
The kunoichi’s chakra blades activated. She silently danced around Gai, slashing her blades, but none of them connected. He dodged each of her moves. He bent low to the ground and swung his leg. She fell, jumped right back up. Gai hit her again, with more force. She rolled away immediately; his second punch broke empty ground.
“Keep going,” Kakashi encouraged.
Gai nodded. He slid into his body, buffered by a calm concentration. The kunoichi’s blade nicked his side. He paid no mind and sprinted behind her. She turned, alarmed, was sent flying across the clearing with another kick.
Before she could rise, Gai was on top of her. He held her down by the throat and slammed his fist into her grinning face repeatedly. The ease of battle was gone, replaced with animalistic rage as he pummeled her features until they were broken mush. His knuckles bled. He hit her again and again, again and again, again and -
Kakashi did not stop him or release the genjutsu. He only watched. Gai roared, picked up the kunoichi’s legs, and spun her body in the air. He tossed her to the other side of the clearing, leapt and landed at her side. He snapped all of her limbs over his knee. He broke every bone in her body. There is something so satisfying in retribution, is there not? Indeed, there was.
She was unrecognizable, a lump of gorged muscle, organs, and bones. There was no stench of death that usually accompanied these sights. Only the crisp, fresh smell of the forest. It was that which brought Gai back to his senses. He dropped to the ground beside her corpse.
Kakashi walked over. Gai was emotionless, no longer full of rage or sorrow. He felt empty, expunged. The kunoichi disappeared with the genjutsu. Kakashi lowered next to him. They sat meditatively, listening to the trees and the birds and the squirrels.
“Thank you,” Gai murmured after some time. He realized this was what he needed. The loss of control was troubling, but necessary to vent his emotions. His body felt good, electrified with exercise, unlike the previous day when he’d merely pushed himself to masochistic fatigue.
He caught Kakashi in a surprise lunge. They tumbled through the grass. Gai rose on top of him. His throat locked with memory. Noticing this, Kakashi neatly flipped them around, so his knees pressed against Gai’s chest. Gai liked the pressure, the feel of Kakashi’s hands on his wrists, his back digging into the ground. Kakashi stared at him from above.
Gai twitched his arm; Kakashi released, but only the one wrist. Gai tugged his mask down, palmed his jaw, grazed his mole. Experimentally, he pushed Kakashi’s lip up and poked his teeth with the pad of his thumb. They were sharp.
“I’ll bite you,” Kakashi mumbled.
“No you won’t.” Gai continued up the bridge of Kakashi’s nose, to his eyelashes underneath the Sharingan.
“Gai,” Kakashi warned, growing flustered.
As for the nakedness, I might’ve wished it happened differently , he’d said. Gai let his hand drop to his side, and asked, “What did you mean?”
Kakashi’s brow furrowed. His mouth twisted into what could only be described as a pout. “About what?”
“Seeing you naked,” Gai said.
“Oh - well, you know.” .
“Do I?” Gai questioned.
Kakashi’s answer was resolute. “Yes. You have to.”
Even with Kakashi’s weight on top of him, Gai’s chest felt lightened. “For all your books, you’ve never been forward, Rival. What changed?”
“I’m a gentleman now, I suppose.”
“Definitely not,” Gai refuted.
“Okay - I’ve had issues, in the past.”
“I am well aware.”
“But things are different. With what happened. I realized that some possibilities might be gone, now. Are they?”
“It is always possible,” Gai said. “I admit, I do not understand your sudden urgency, considering the situation - “
“ Gai , I told you - “
“ - but I could never deprive you of anything, Rival.”
Kakashi touched his cheek. “Well, it’s not just about me. You need to want it, too.”
“I do, but.” Gai looked away, embarrassed by his next words. “It needs to be like this.” He pulled Kakashi’s legs tighter against him. “For now, at least.”
“Understandable,” Kakashi said. “I’m fine with whatever.”
“I’m sure you are.”
“Hey!” Kakashi ruffled Gai’s hair, like they were boys again.
Gai pushed Kakashi off of him. His Eternal Rival - caught off guard! - coughed, spitting out grass.
Gai sat up. “I need to talk to my students.”
Kakashi stilled. “You going to be okay?”
“Yes,” Gai said, “I think.”
“Good luck, then. See you - “
Gai bent over and gave him a small, chaste kiss.
He pulled away. Kakashi blinked. “See you later, I guess.”
“See you later,” Gai mirrored, and walked back to the village.
His students were the best, so of course they were at the training grounds. Rock Lee seemed to be directing Neji and Tenten through a series of taijutsu moves.
Tenten saw him first. She dropped her stance. “Gai-sensei!”
“What?!” Rock Lee shoved past her. “Let me see!”
“Guys,” Neji said, straightening behind Tenten, but gave up restraint.
The three of them hurried over, Rock Lee taking the lead. “Gai-sensei, are you feeling better? Kakashi-sensei kept telling us to ‘fuck off’ - “ Gai hid his amusement at Rock Lee’s language “ - but we were persistent! He said you just needed time to relax, so I took it upon myself to condition Neji and Tenten extra hard!”
“ Extra hard,” Tenten emphasized scornfully. “It’s stuff worse than what you put us through, sensei.”
Neji’s lilac eyes sparkled with determination as he lifted his chin. “It wasn’t that bad.”
Tenten slapped him on the back. “You didn’t even finish all four hundred one-handed pushups!”
“I may have went a little overboard,” Rock Lee surmised, “but it was only because I knew you’d come back to whip us into shape, sensei!” He slammed his fist into his palm. “We needed to be totally prepared!”
“You’re feeling better, right?” Tenten asked. “That’s why you’re here.”
Gai lowered his head. His students frowned, concerned. But then Gai burst into a super sensational pose, his legs wide apart and arms akimbo. “You three have amazed me with your independence, dedication, and patience! I’ve got the best students of all! Training with such diligence, incessantly badgering my Rival - I cannot express how much this means to me. Why, my joy has moved me to tears!”
“Oh, Gai-sensei!” Rock Lee flung at him and they cried together. Far less emotional, Tenten and Neji entered the group hug and did not move, even when it dragged on for a whole ten minutes.
Gai basked in his students presence, thankful for their support. Finally he extracted himself and wiped his eyes. “However, there is something we need to discuss.”
“The mission,” Neji said, ever observant. “It was bad.”
“Yes.” Gai fought against the shameful anxiety rising within him.
“How bad?” Tenten asked cautiously. It was true that she’d never seen her sensei so out of sorts. As long as she’d known him, he’d been a bastion of unyielding strength.
“Very bad, I’m afraid,” Gai said.
Rock Lee nodded. “Worry not! You’ve helped us so much, and now it is our turn to help you.”
Gai swallowed a fresh round of tears. “How about I treat you all to dinner at my place, to make up for slacking off?”
“Slacking off? Gai-sensei, that is highly unnecessary - “
Tenten elbowed Rock Lee. “Sure. That sounds great.”
“We’d like that a lot,” Neji added.
Accustomed to Gai’s overpoweringly nutritional diets, they knew all of his recipes, and assisted him in making a giant pot of Super Extreme Spicy Curry. Gai tried not to think about what took place that morning with Kakashi but recognized he hadn’t actually kept any food down; he was starving. His students didn’t comment on his several second helpings, and instead discussed their training regimine under Rock Lee’s leadership. It sounded like he did go overboard, but Neji and Tenten would not explicitly admit so.
Eventually, conversation hit a lull. Gai brought the dishes into the kitchen. His students followed adamantly and washed the bowls out for him, fighting for room at the sink. Gai sat at the table and marveled at their youth, but reminded himself that, in spite of it, they were no longer innocent or undeserving of the full truth.
Neji made everyone oolong tea and poured it out with as much grace as one would expect from the Hyuuga clan. It was quiet, and a serious atmosphere overtook the kitchen table as the teenagers sat down with their tea. They looked at Gai expectantly - it was time.
Gai attempted to spare them of the details, but knew it was unfair and went on to divulge the entire story from beginning to end. His students blanched once he got to the worst of it. Rock Lee in particular looked sick, Tenten covered her mouth to quiet shocked whimpers, and the veins at Neji’s temples tensed as if he were activating the Byakugan.
“And that is why, you see, I could not face you upon my return,” Gai told Rock Lee, though it was directed at all of his students. He struggled to not breakdown. “I am so sorry. I failed you. I am a disgrace upon Konoha, and you three as your sensei.” He ducked his head.
The teapot to fell and shattered on the floor. Gai looked up, expecting Rock Lee, but it was Neji who had stood. In some way that made it worse, seeing his usually collected student shaking with rage. Rock Lee and Tenten were equally surprised. Gai prepared himself, thinking the rage was directed at him.
“You are not a disgrace,” Neji proclaimed. “That wretched woman who did this to you is a disgrace! Using your bond with Kakashi-sensei against you, debilitating your body and mind, turning you against your own teammate - “ He cut off, glancing at Rock Lee; Gai wondered what thoughts were going through his mind. Perhaps, This could have happened to me . Neji faced him again, his shoulders broadening. “You would never do that! You are honorable and kind - one of the best shinobi in this village! That is an undeniable truth.” With the authority of his Hyuuga lineage, he pledged, “I will not let this incident force you to think otherwise. It was not your fault.”
Gai had no words. Rock Lee was nodding in agreement through his tears as Tenten gripped his arm.
“Neji,” Gai began, “I do not think you understand. I - “
“I won’t hear you talk about yourself like this any longer. It is simply false.”
Tenten spread her palms flat on the table. “Sensei, what Neji is trying to say is that we are sorry you endured such a tragedy. But that’s just it - you’ve endured. You’ve survived. You always do - and you taught us how to survive, too.”
Neji and Tenten both quieted when Rock Lee walked around the table and got on his knees, clasping Gai’s hands.
“Rock Lee, please,” Gai croaked.
With all the conviction in the world, Rock Lee spoke. “You showed me my own potential when no one else saw it, and when I did not believe I had any myself. I am forever indebted to you, sensei, no matter what. This vile act which transpired is horrible.” Rock Lee’s voice hitched; he never had stopped crying. “But you are not. You told me no person is ever a lost cause, and that we should never give up on our friends. To see you going back on your word, when you’ve given up on yourself, it is truly - “ He planted his face into Gai’s lap and hugged him tightly. “It is truly the worst thing I could ever imagine!”
Gai curled over the boy as Rock Lee’s entire body heaved with deep sobs. “I am sorry, Rock Lee.” He looked up at Neji and Tenten, both of whom had joined them. “All of you. I did not expect my words to strike your hearts so.”
“It’s okay,” Tenten assured. She wrapped around Gai’s shoulders, placed her head on top of his. “We just want you to be okay.”
Neji knelt beside Rock Lee and put a hand on his shaking back. “Whatever it takes,” he told Gai.
Gai erupted into vicious bawling. The noise clawed out of his chest, alternating with lungfuls of oxygen. His students huddled around him - the only thing which kept him from falling apart. It was his second group hug of the day. He was certainly the luckiest sensei in all of the elemental nations.
Slowly, the emotion subsided, and his students pulled away. Tenten offered Rock Lee and Gai each an entire roll of paper towel, as Neji cleaned the broken teapot off the floor. Once everyone had collected themselves, Gai took them out to train. They were more than eager to warm up with thirty laps around the village, followed by a strenuous workout at the training grounds which consisted of picking up boulders unaided by chakra. Afterward, Gai had them attack him all at once. He evaded the brunt of their offense, of course, but was proud whenever they managed to glance a passing blow. Their teamwork was seamless and their execution flawless. He considered it their victory, even though they complained it did not count because he was unscathed. Admonishing their disobedience, he made them swim in the river for two hours, but it only devolved into a water fight that he was eventually dragged into.
They ended up splayed out on the riverbank in their undershirts, drying off underneath the crimson sunset. For the first time since returning from his mission, Gai felt at peace. He celebrated with another spar and this time let his students overpower him. They knew it was a farce, and complained some more whilst sitting on top of him.
Once the sun dipped low behind the trees and the sky darkened to an evening violet, Gai told them all to go home. They were slow to follow his instruction, unwilling to let him out of their sight now that he was back to his old self.
“Don’t worry,” Gai said, “I will not force myself into solitude again. I am meeting with Kakashi!”
“Oh yeah?” Tenten asked. She was tying her hair back up into its twin buns. “What’re you gonna do?”
“Tenten! Are you insinuating something I don’t want to hear?”
“You’re going on a date or something,” Neji said, smirking. “Right?”
Gai reddened. “Not at all!”
Tenten ignored him. “It’s about time, I’d say. You’ve been falling all over each other since we were genin .”
Rock Lee inserted himself between his teammates. “What Gai-sensei does with his Rival is none of our business! Neji, I hoped you would understand that.”
“We aren’t those kind of rivals, Lee,” Neji flatly asserted. “I think you’re missing the point.”
Rock Lee’s face dawned with realization. He beamed, veritable hearts shooting from his eyes. “Gai-sensei! You are in love!”
“Ah,” Gai sighed, “I should have known. You three are too intelligent and know me too well. I can’t hide anything from you.”
“For how long,” Rock Lee demanded, “since when? Is that why Kakashi-sensei told us to ‘fuck off,’ because he wants to hog you all to himself? I won’t let him!”
“It’s nothing like that,” Gai amended, chuckling nervously. “But to answer your question, well.” He’d never thought of his feelings for Kakashi that much; they came organically. It was an altogether simple matter. “I don’t know. I’ve loved him for a very long time. Even before my affections were so strong, I always knew that one day they would grow into the limitless capacity such as they are now.” He flashed a peace sign. “Wish your sensei good luck!”
“Good luck, sensei,” Rock Lee cheered.
“We’re going to hear all about it tomorrow,” Tenten swore.
Neji started shepherding them away. “Let’s leave sensei alone for now. Please. I’ve heard enough.”
Gai watched their departing silhouettes fondly. Once they were out of sight, he put his hands on his hips and addressed a tall tree overlooking the river. “You can come down now.”
“Oh no, I’ve been caught,” Kakashi blandly lamented. He’d been outstretched on a branch reading his book, and presently hopped down. His mask was up, but Gai saw happiness within his single visible eye. “I told you so,” he goaded.
Gai did not comment on Kakashi’s stalkerish habits. “Yes, your indelible intellect never ceases to amaze me.”
Kakashi pocketed his hands. He put all of his weight on one foot, cool and aloof. “Are you calling me a smartass?”
“Of course not, Rival,” Gai lied. “I would never!”
“Nice speech,” Kakashi commended.
“It was the truth.” Gai put his arms down, sheepish. “I am curious to know your own thoughts of me.”
Kakashi checked over his shoulder. “Is Rock Lee around? I don’t want him to beat me up in the name of your heart, or whatever.”
“Kakashi!” Gai closed the space between them. “Rock Lee knows you are the epitome of chivalrous honor.”
“He might have to lower his expectations.” Kakashi took his hand. “Let’s discuss this in private.”
Gai looked at their joined hands, astonished, but Kakashi pulled him at such a fast pace through the village he knew no one would see them.
“I have a door,” he pointed out after they tumbled through the window of his apartment.
“But this is more fun,” Kakashi said. He sniffed the air. “You made curry. I want leftovers!”
Gai supposed he could eat some leftovers as well. They ate together in front of the TV and as an asinine game show played.
“I don’t understand,” Gai mumbled. “They are courting each other but just met? This is ridiculous.”
“Obviously they don’t know a damn thing,” Kakashi assented, propped against Gai’s side. “Personally, I like to wait twenty years before confessing my undying love.”
Gai coughed. “Twenty years? Undying love?”
Kakashi shrugged and plucked the bits of fallen food off the front of Gai’s jumpsuit. “Pretty much.”
“You are intolerable, Rival! It is like pulling teeth out of a dog’s mouth.”
“You’ve never had to do that,” Kakashi said in a way that implied he actually had. He put their bowls of leftovers to the side and laid his head in Gai’s lap, mouth and both eyes bared yet again. “Gai, my love for you springs from an unending fountain of passion. When I see you, my heart bursts at its seams. Just as a monsoon cannot contain its force and the sun cannot contain its light, I cannot contain my yearning devotion for you.”
Gai smacked him playfully. “That’s just from one of your stories!”
“But it encapsulates my feelings so accurately,” Kakashi grinned. He dodged another one of Gai’s hits, turning to hide against his stomach. “I never realized how tough and sexy your abs are.”
“Rival!” Gai pried him off and held him flat against his lap. “I challenge you to honestly speak from your heart!”
Kakashi slapped the back of his hand against his forehead in fake distress. “You got me there. Whatever shall I do?”
“Speak now, or I will tell the whole village you are scared of cats!”
“I’m not scared of cats,” Kakashi told him, “they’re just creepy and soulless.” He collected his thoughts, and grew serious. “Ever since we were kids, you were after me. You didn’t care about my father, or the fact I was taught under the Yondaime, or even when I got into the ANBU and you didn’t. You just saw me for who I was - an arrogant asshole who needed to be knocked down a peg.”
“I wouldn’t have described you that way exactly,” Gai said, though he knew it was true.
“Semantics,” Kakashi dismissed, and continued. “Anyway, you were the only person I knew who didn’t want anything from me. You just expected me to be at my best. All you wanted was to get even. I never thought you’d catch up - but you did, and before I knew it, you were pushing me to get better, too. And then,” he grimaced, “and then everything happened, and you were by my side all the way through it, no matter how much I tried pushing you away. Looking back, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. You weren’t just my Eternal Rival - you were my Eternal Friend.”
Gai tightened his hold on Kakashi, trembling with emotion. “That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“I’m not done,” Kakashi chided. “So, we got older. I left the ANBU. We were both jounins. We got our teams. I had watched you prove to the whole village that you were one of the best shinobi ever, just like you proved it to me. I was proud. Even when you accomplished your goals, you still made time for me. Always. I realized how important that was. How much I needed it.” His voice softened. “How much I needed you.”
“Kakashi…”
He quickly moved on. “But of course, I’m an idiot when it comes to this stuff. I didn’t know how to go about it. I figured you’d make the first move but I guess you’re too nice and respectful to even try, and I could never make myself do it, until, you know. Until now. When I know what’s at stake. That’s it, I guess.”
“You cannot play it off cool and hip in front of me, Rival,” Gai told him. He leaned down, almost cradling Kakashi. “I appreciate your words. They fill me with an immeasurable amount of joy. Now, please make the first move. You have my permission.”
Kakashi broke out of Gai’s hold and surged upward. He captured Gai’s jaw in his hands and kissed him hungrily. It was different from their bashful kiss in the forest - this time open-mouthed and wet, teeth clacking. Gai groaned when Kakashi sunk his canines into his bottom lip. “We should - move, I think.”
Kakashi took another page from Icha Icha Paradise and swept him up in his arms.
“You’re such a fool,” Gai laughed.
“A fool for you.” Kakashi kicked his bedroom door open, dropped Gai onto the mattress, and crawled on top of him. Immediately their mouths locked together again. Gai could not believe it. He wondered how it compared to Kakashi’s pornographic literature, if they were doing it right or wrong or if it even mattered.
Kakashi pulled away, and Gai braced his palms against his stomach, stopping him from leaning back down. “What is it?” Kakashi impatiently demanded.
“I need to tell you something.” Gai was not embarrassed, but he didn’t know how Kakashi would take the news. “I - ah, I have never done this before.”
“Me neither.”
Gai frowned. “What?”
“I mean I’m a thirty year old virgin, Gai. So we’re both unflowered - that makes the whole condom thing a lot simpler.”
“But, your books - “
“They’re a fun read. But I’ve never had a lot of time for things like this. And I don’t like people touching me unless it’s you. What’s your reason?”
“I’ve never loved anyone like you,” Gai confessed. “So I waited.”
“You waited,” Kakashi repeated. “You have one of the hunkiest builds in all of Konoha, and you waited for me.”
“Yes.” Gai yanked Kakashi down by his shirt, so their noses touched. “Did you call me hunky?”
Kakashi’s mouth spread into a genuine, giddy smile. “You’re insane.” They smashed together, chest to chest. It was sloppy and there was too much spit and a lot of accidental biting, but Gai didn’t care. “I’m going to make love to you,” Kakashi announced. He spread his knees on either side of Gai’s hips. “I’m going to worship your body like it’s a shrine.” He continued with his irreverent monologue as he struggled to dispose of Gai’s jumpsuit, but soon cursed and simply cut it open with a kunai. “I’ll get you another one.” It’d been Gai’s second destroyed jumpsuit in only a week.
Things slowed after that. Kakashi ran his hands down Gai’s exposed torso. His fingernails caught against chest hair, muscle ridges, and countless puckered scars. Gai’s sides bellowed in and out as he unraveled under Kakashi’s touch. He raised up to peel the rest of his jumpsuit off. It tangled under his legs; they both ignored it. Kakashi’s eyes darkened at the sight of his six pack and the chiseled V-line below. Gai curled his back, offering himself - it was only fair, to let Kakashi to see all of him for as long as he wanted.
“I’m - I’m just going to…” Kakashi curled his thumbs over the hem of Gai’s underwear and removed the garment. “Oh, gods, Gai,” he moaned.
“What is it?” Gai looked down. “Is there something wrong?”
“You’re huge,” Kakashi told him. Gai thought he saw Kakashi’s mouth water.
“It’s nothing, really,” Gai said. Years spent pleasuring himself rendered him immune to the weight of his girth in his hand; plus he had no standard by which to measure.
“One day,” Kakashi murmured, perhaps subconsciously. He reigned his thoughts and sat back, about to take his shirt off.
Gai stopped him. “This is fine, as we are.”
“I don’t mind,” Kakashi said.
“I like it this way,” Gai insisted. He could not allow himself the same privilege of seeing Kakashi’s wondrous physique, not when it had been recently forced upon him without either of their initiation. “Please. This is fine. One day,” he promised somberly, echoing Kakashi’s same words.
Kakashi said nothing more. He moved to the edge of the bed and finished discarding Gai’s jumpsuit, along with the leg warmers and ankle weights. He cupped Gai’s legs, traveled up his shins and thighs. He stopped at his hip bones, and blinked. “We need lubricant.”
“Oh.” Gai racked his brain for anything in his apartment suited to their purposes. “There is vegetable oil in the kitchen.”
“No.”
“Ummm...I keep vaseline in the bathroom, for minor injuries.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Why didn’t you just start with that?” He ran to the bathroom and back with the speed of an elite shinobi, and quickly reinserted himself between Gai’s legs. The tub of vaseline slanted down the dip in the mattress and rested against Gai’s side.
“Are you okay?” Kakashi asked, circling his thumbs into Gai’s hip bones.
“Yes,” Gai said. He clenched his fists. “Delight in my body however you please, Rival!”
Kakashi snorted; it was a cute noise, and Gai melted at the sound. “Sure, Gai, whatever you say…” He did not immediately use the vaseline, but went back to roaming Gai’s dark, olive-toned skin - not only with his eyes, but with his mouth and hands. Gai whimpered and writhed.
He felt himself hardening, the wait becoming unbearable. “Hurry,” he pleaded.
“Alright, alright.” Despite his words, Kakashi was not exasperated or taking this lightly. Gai could see the want building up within him, as well; the Sharingan darted over his body, halting at his erection. Kakashi’s hand shook when he took hold of its base. They both gasped sharply. “You’re huge,” Kakashi reiterated.
“You’ve mentioned that,” Gai grit out. He stared at the ceiling - if he looked down to see Kakashi grasping him so intimately, he knew he would probably explode.
Kakashi pumped him once, twice. Gai yelled out.
“What is it?” Kakashi snatched his hand back.
“Nothing! But - if you do that again, this might not last.”
“Okay. I definitely won’t give you a blow job, then.”
“Oh, please stop,” Gai begged, trying not to imagine such a tantalizing sight or the feel of Kakashi’s sharp teeth around his most private appendage.
Kakashi splayed his fingers on Gai’s chest, attempting to calm him; his heart pounded underneath Kakashi’s palm. “I just wanted to take this slow, is all.”
“Your courtesy is greatly appreciated,” Gai said, “but if you do not hurry up I think it will be too late.”
“Right.” Kakashi shook his head. For the first time all evening, he appeared nervous. “It might hurt. That’s to be expected. But if it gets bad - or you feel uncomfortable - “
Gai sharpened his voice. “Do not underestimate me. I could apprehend you within the blink of an eye. If I am overwhelmed, I will put a stop to this immediately. You do not have to worry.”
He felt the bulge in Kakashi’s pants lengthen against his inner thigh. When Kakashi spoke, he sounded winded. “Of course. Silly me.”
Kakashi kissed him once more, then dipped into the vaseline. He prodded under Gai’s scrotum. Gai reached behind himself to grip the headboard. Kakashi inserted his fingertip just slightly - Gai had never felt anything like it before. It was not cause for alarm or discomfort. He felt relaxed, accepted, confident in his ability to let Kakashi see him like this and perform these acts. It was his choice. He was the one vulnerable, exposed, opening himself up first - regardless of the violence wrought days before, this felt like the natural progression of their relationship. It felt good. It felt right.
“Here goes nothing,” Kakashi muttered. Gai couldn’t hold back his surprised laugh. Kakashi glanced up at him, trying not to grin. “If you’re just going to make fun of me, we can stop.”
“Never,” Gai said, rearranging against the headboard until he was in a more comfortable position. “I will be quiet.”
“I didn’t say that - “ Kakashi crooked his finger in deeper, without warning.
Gai yelped. “Fuck!”
“Shit.” Kakashi was stunned at Gai’s language. He swirled around a bit. “How’s that?” Gai tried squeezing around him in lieu of a reply and Kakashi blanched, his breath quickening. “Got it.”
They stopped talking. Kakashi took his time. When he thought Gai was ready, he entered a second finger. The stretch was harder to accommodate, but not impossible. He began spreading his fingers apart just so, widening Gai’s inner walls. Gai did not know his body was capable of such a feat - it was literally breathtaking. Kakashi had to remind him to breathe. But once he opened his mouth he couldn’t stop moaning.
Kakashi dug further and Gai tensed, tears leaking from his eyes. Kakashi repeated the motion. Gai’s erection twitched with interest and spurted a bead of precum.
“I can’t wait any longer,” Gai whined. “I need - you need to - “
Kakashi removed his fingers; Gai’s body pulsated at the absence. Kakashi shushed him with a long, drawn out kiss.
“I’ve got you,” he reassured, and Gai was officially forever besotted until the end of time. He nodded hurriedly, trusting Kakashi to take care of him. Kakashi loosened his pants and scooped up another handful of vaseline to generously lubricate himself. Sufficiently prepared, he spread Gai’s thighs apart and hovered over his entrance.
Before Gai could command him to do anything, Kakashi pushed inside incrementally. Gai’s spine snapped off the mattress; the headboard creaked under his hands. Kakashi took this as an encouraging sign and pumped his hips forward again. Gai felt himself splitting open underneath his Eternal Rival. It was painful, but he was a shinobi, and blocked the pain out with ease.
Intrusive thoughts arose. He thought of his nightmare, his mission, the myriad of ways this could have happened differently to tarnish its current beauty. However, instead of leeching his pleasure, these thoughts only multiplied it. Gai was so thankful for this moment he started weeping.
Kakashi paused, but did not remove himself. Gai felt him throbbing from within, and knew it took a massive amount of discipline. “Gai.”
“I’m happy,” Gai told him. “That’s all.”
Kakashi resumed his slow pace. “Me too.” He began narrating. “You feel so strong. Your thighs could snap me in half. But here I am - I’m - I’m not going to be able to keep this up.” He bent Gai’s legs forward and went faster, deeper, hitting the same spot he’d found with his fingers - his prostate , Gai fuzzily recalled from Academy anatomy classes and his annual medical exam.
“Kakashi,” Gai sobbed - he climaxed, tightening around the intrusion lodged inside of him.
“I know. It’s okay. Let it all out.”
Gai went boneless in the bed sheets. His body and mind felt covered in a thin haze of sweat and lust. The scent of his cum carried in the air between them. Kakashi thudded into him a couple more times before he, too, went stiff with release. The viscous liquid slicked Gai’s insides, leaked out of him as Kakashi pulled away and resinched his pants. Cold air imposed at Gai’s sore entrance. He clenched tight, twisting to the side.
Kakashi passed a hand over his flank, grabbed the torn jumpsuit to clean them both off, and threw it carelessly to the floor. He wiggled behind Gai afterward, nosed his jugular vein, ghosted his teeth over the tender flesh; Gai made a strangled noise and shuddered.
“On a scale of one to ten,” Kakashi whispered, after some time had passed.
Gai chuckled breathlessly. “A solid eight,” he appraised.
“I can live with that,” Kakashi said.
Gai rotated in his arms so that they faced each other. “It was magnificent. Thank you.”
“Oh, any time ,” Kakashi drawled. He smiled contentedly, eyes half-lidded.
So much had happened since their last kiss that when their mouths connected again it was like years had passed. They tangled together, but it was a lackadaisical thing.
Kakashi separated after awhile. He considered Gai contemplatively.
“What is it?” Gai asked, worried. “Was something not to your liking?”
“Hell no,” Kakashi said. “Just. Sometime. I want to give that to you, Gai. What you gave me. On our terms.”
Gai burrowed into Kakashi’s soft, clothed chest. “It will happen. I just need more time. I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” Kakashi poked him in the rear. “Don’t apologize. I’ve waited a long time already. What’s a little longer?”
“You are too good to me,” Gai mumbled. He was drowsy, loose-limbed.
“Nah.” Kakashi hugged him closer. “You deserve it.”
Gai hummed, too sleepy to reply. When he did end up drifting off, it was dreamless, ensconced in Kakashi’s warm, protective hold.