Archive of Our Own

‘Hey, are you stuck? You’ve been sitting up there for a while now.’

Seungmin follows this with a yawn, and his beanbag crackles as he sits up and stretches. Throwing his phone onto his bed, he lies back, throwing a casual glance back out the window. It’s a calm night, but there’s still a slight breeze blowing in from the sea, and it slightly worries him to see the tree before him start to sway, even if it was only slightly. Plus, Seungmin does live on the fifth floor of the apartment building he resided in, and though he knew their impressive free-falling skills, he couldn’t help but commenting.

Well, the cat doesn’t reply. He just stares, with unblinking blue eyes, not moving in the slightest. The tree sways slightly again. Seungmin shrugs, sighing whilst his eyelids droop from exhaustion. Internally, he reprimands himself for getting absolutely nothing done and watching an entire day of k-dramas on his phone. Again.

He then becomes aware of the pair of curious eyes still rested upon him.

‘I’m just saying. The weather reports say that there might be a storm coming. You can come in, if you want, I guess. The window’s open. Just don’t mess up my room too much, my parents would kill me.’

There’s another beat of silence before suddenly, he moves. He steps, carefully, along down the branch. Then with a remarkable amount of power, he leaps gracefully upon Seungmin’s windowsill, though the decrepit piece of wood creaks even with his soft landing. Seungmin forces his eyes to painstakingly open again, to make eye contact with the small creature before him. Slowly, his eyes never leaving Seungmin, he moves two steps towards him before hesitating and sitting down.

He cocks his head.

‘I can’t tell if you’re legit or actually just really good at mimicking us,’ he mutters, finally. Seungmin just laughs, smiling as he shook his head slightly.

‘Nah. I’m pretty legit.’ The tabby stares some more, before making a sudden snorting-huffing sound, making Seungmin jump, and then stares at him pointedly. If cats could do the ‘single raised eyebrow’ expression, Seungmin was pretty sure it would be fairly likewise to the look he was receiving right now. ‘Geez, alright. I can talk and understand cats. It’s not really that much, only the world’s most useless superpower. Both my parents are allergic to cats, so I could never have one, and cats aren’t usually sociable. At all. In fact, you’re the first one I’ve been able to maintain a conversation longer than a minute in, well, a while.’ Lying down, his eyes had crept up to the ceiling, and he drags them back to the striped stranger. ‘Huh, I don’t believe I’ve seen you around before. Are you new to the area?’

He still hesitates somewhat before replying, ‘yeah, I’ve never been here before. Thought I’d check it out. This place seemed like one of the highest points of the town that I could reach. It’s a nice view.’

‘Fair enough. You know, if I was cat, I think I’d try to travel the world. Probably easier said than done, though.’ He smiles, letting out a small breath, a mix between a wistful sigh and a laugh. After another beat of calm silence, as the tabby lay down, Seungmin wonders, aloud, ‘Do you have a name?’

‘Not really.’

‘Okay. Well, how about-’ the creaking of floorboards interrupts him, and he curses. ‘And that would be my mum,’ he sighs, hurriedly getting up and wincing over his numb foot, before turning back to the anonymous tomcat. ‘Sorry, you’ve got to go. My parents despise cats. It’s weird, I know. Anyhow, shoo, shoo.’ And obediently, he glides back onto the branch, though he stops. Then he glances back, for just a second, and Seungmin smiles, offering a small wave, and whispers, ‘come back one of these days, hey? You’re good company-’

But he’s gone before he can finish.

-

‘There’s a moving truck outside, did you see?’ is what first greets Seungmin whilst he shuffles into the kitchen and reached for small bottle of milk in his fridge, rubbing his eyes and still half in his pyjamas. It was around eight in the morning, he knew, and though he was usually a morning person school had been increasingly baffling his sleeping schedule recently. Ah, sweet weekends.

‘There’s someone moving in every two days, what’s the big deal this time?’ he mumbles. Boy, the weather sure didn’t help in waking him up, with miserable clouds still remaining from last night’s rain. He yawns, third time in two minutes, and plops down at the table, across from his sister, who was scrolling through her phone whilst sipping a small box of orange juice. It was the ridiculously artificial type though, containing zero percent actual orange, and it disgusted Seungmin. For whatever reason, his sister drank it every morning, as if just to piss him off. Seungmin blinks, rubbing his eyes. Focus, focus. What were they talking about again?

‘No, no, don’t you remember?’ She looks up from her phone and at Seungmin, taking a long, long sip. The fluoro orange stuff streams up her straw, and he winces. ‘The block next to ours was rented out last month, so it’s probably our new next-door neighbours. I swear I might’ve heard someone in there yesterday. Can’t imagine who’d rent it though; it’s so small.’

‘Oh, so what?’ He grabbed a bowl and scooped into the rice cooker, picking at the kimchi nearby. ‘The last time, it was a couple of crazy college kids who partied until three in the morning, got drunk and smashed a dent into the wall. We barely managed to get them kicked out.’

‘Good point.’

They’re interrupted by the crashing of furniture against concrete outside, and anguished shouts.

‘Well, I’m going to my room, so behave yourself,’ his sister says as she walks into the kitchen and throws the empty juice box into the bin, and rinses her hands in the sink. ‘Mum and dad told me to babysit you, but you’re old enough. So don’t go sticking forks into toasters or jumping off the balcony, alright? They’d give me a lot of shit if you die. Also if I find another trace of a cat having been around again, because you’re the crazy cat lady you are, I will personally kill you myself.’

‘Love you too, sis.’

‘Yea, yea.’

Though he’d initially planned to just chill at home, all of a sudden last night’s conversation comes back to him, and he remembers the part where he’d said he wanted to travel the world. Well, maybe he couldn’t exactly do that, but he could at least try going outside without being forced to. Grabbing his phone and bag, he struggles for three minutes trying to find the keys before seeing them lying on the table.

Alas, he makes it exactly one step outside, before he finds himself face to face with an angel.

‘Oh,’ he breathes, stumbling back a step and hand tightening around the strap of his backpack, other hand moving to prop himself against the door. Staring at the glowing stranger before him, he breaks into an awkward smile and offers a small wave. ‘Uh, um,’ he says intelligibly, and as the other continues to wordlessly stare at him, he stands up straighter and tries to stop his flittering eyes, building up the courage to look up. The stranger’s eyes, though, seem oddly familiar. ‘Hullo,’ he continues, his brain still malfunctioning, ‘do I, uh, know you?’

The stranger blinks, and then smiles a small smile, tilting his head. ‘No, I don’t think so. But I believe we’re neighbours?’ Seungmin doesn’t really hear him; he’s preoccupied, looking the stranger up and down. He’s a bit taller than him, maybe even slightly older, but still relatively the same age, and wears a simple black hoodie and jeans. But man, he sure still looks like a model. Then he sneezes - his hair is sort of wet; he must’ve gotten caught in the rain yesterday, he figures. Seungmin contemplates over his sanity as he wonders how a human can make even sneezing look cute.

‘Uh, yea, yea,’ he replies, still half in a daze. What did he say? Something about neighbours? Neighbours…neighbours…wait. Hang on. What.

‘Well, nice to meet you,’ the other says, apparently not noticing Seungmin undergoing a heart attack. ‘I’m Hyunjin.’

‘I’m, uh, who am I?’ Seungmin mutters, as his face turns pink and the atmosphere gets slightly warmer. ‘I’m sorry, I’m just, really dazed right now, I just, woke up. I’m, Seungmin. Nice to meet you, too?’

‘Well, I’ll be seeing you around,’ Hyunjin says, as he starts to walk off. ‘I gotta help with the boxes, and all that moving stuff. You know. Bye!’ He smiles again, and waves, before he disappeared, just like that, down the stairs.

‘Bye,’ Seungmin says, raising his hand five seconds too late. Staring at the stairs and realising that he had not only been holding his breath, but his heart rate was only just calming down, he hastily opens the door and throws himself back in his room, burying his face into the pillows.

He watches k-dramas and plays video games for the remainder of the day, having resolved never to set foot in the outside world ever again.

-

The week that follows, though, is pretty uneventful. He learns that Hyunjin, who was the same age as himself, was living alone, most of his meals being provided by his new school – which wasn’t Seungmin’s school, but a nearby dance academy of sorts. It was also why he’d moved in the first place – to live closer to the academy. Which was really, really cool and all, but also slightly disappointing. Oh well, at least he’ll be able to still focus on his schoolwork.

It’s only until the next Saturday that his life becomes remotely exciting, and that is with the return of the sky-blue eyed tabby tomcat. He comes, without warning, and Seungmin’s mood immediately brightens, having just be in the midst of drowning under the endless assignments. Grinning, he hurriedly opens the window and waves. The cat lands with a soft plop upon the windowsill, and immediately starts grooming himself.

‘Not even a hello? That’s rather rude,’ Seungmin snorts, resting his head between his hands. ‘Well, what have you been doing these days?’

‘Some stuff. It’s awfully tiring. Being a cat can still be pretty tiring, you know. For starters, no one likes a stray cat. I’m not a stray. I just don’t like collars.’

Seungmin stares.

‘What?’ the cat mutters.

‘Uh, nothing. It’s just that, your voice…’ He trails off and purses his lips. ‘It sounded kind of like, someone. I don’t know. Just, kind of familiar.’

‘…okay.’

The next day, down at the park whilst on his bike, he bumps into Hyunjin, who was taking a walk. Seungmin makes awkward small talk before finding out that the newcomer was completely lost, and offers, in a small moment of resolve, to show him around.

‘Don’t you have your phone or well, anything?’ Seungmin says, as they walk to the nearby town mall. His heart, goddamn it, was still racing, and he was pretty sure that the whole town could hear it. Everything in his power was focused upon maintaining his nonchalant expression, and man, it was hard.

‘Nah, I left it at home. I didn’t think I’d get lost. My sense of direction is usually okay, but I was listening to music on this ancient iPod, and my consciousness just kinda drifted away as I was walking. If that makes any sense at all,’ he laughs, shaking his head. ‘It’s so dumb. I might have walked on for another couple of hours if you hadn’t been there.’

‘Well then, you’re welcome. So you’ve never actually looked around this town, at all? It’s not exactly a very big place.’

Hyunjin shook his head, glancing up at the flowering branches that hung overhead, covering the skies. ‘Most of my time is spent in the studio. The expectations there are crazy high. They want us to be learning these routines in a matter of days, to utter perfection. Though sometimes, I go out at night, it’s mostly around the neighbourhood and not much further.’

‘Your life seems so…how do I say this…more purposeful.’ Seungmin scratches his head and looks down. ‘I don’t know. Like, getting into a dancing academy? It seems like you have your life planned out and laid out in front of you.’ Hyunjin snorts at this, opening his mouth to object. ‘It’s just that,’ Seungmin continues, getting flustered, ‘most of us going to normal high schools still have no idea what we’re doing after we leave. Or maybe it’s just me. Zero idea. I don’t even know what college or field I wanna go into. At least you know that you’re going to dance, right?’ He wonders if he’s rambling. Yeah, he’s probably rambling.

‘Yeah, no. Not at all. There’s not a single day when I’m not doubting whether or not I made the right choice, if I’m going to end up a homeless hobo begging on the street in a couple years’ time, if I should just go back to high school and get, you know, a normal life. A lot of people drop out, and I’ve considered it too.’ He tilts his head, staring ahead, and then grinning as he looks back at Seungmin. ‘But nah. I like the stage. I like dancing.’

‘Wow,’ Seungmin murmurs, staring in awe. ‘That is so cool. What the heck. Can I come and see you dance sometime? I’m betting you’re probably a prodigy.’

‘The furthest from it,’ Hyunjin replies, rolling his eyes, grin still playing on his lips. ‘I mean, sure you can come to one of the competitions we’re holding soon, but I your expectations of me are way, way too high. I’m that cool at all.’

‘Whatever you say, whatever you say. Oh hey,’ Seungmin says, as they arrived at the parking lots, ‘we’re here.’

Seungmin loved the mall. It was his second-favourite place to waste time in the town, though compared to the ones in the big city it was nothing. Sometimes though, it seemed more like a marketplace, only with a roof, and he loved it. Heck, once they even had a pony-riding event. With face-painting.

‘So that’s the place with the best cold noodles, over there with the red banner, and there’s the pet store, where I’ve always wanted to work at, and the crappy cinema with forty-dollar popcorn, and see that really big fish? That’s the best sushi place in the world. And over there’s the arcade, the bookstore, and the karaoke – you’re probably not going to remember any of this, are you?’ Hyunjin wore a lopsided smile as he shook his head. Seungmin waved his hand. ‘That’s alright. You’ll probably come here a lot, because apart from the aquarium and the park there’s not really a whole lot else in this town.’

‘I’m curious though; why did you move here? It’s not that close to your school, and there’s absolutely nothing around here. Except some trees and maybe a nice view of the sea,’ Seungmin comments, later whilst they were walking through the mini art exhibition. He knew that if it was up to him, he would be out of the dying town in a flash, off to the big city. He mightn’t know much about his future, but at least he knew that.

‘Well…it’s a nice town, I guess. The rent’s super cheap, and it’s definitely way closer to my school than my old place, with my dad. The train schedule’s pretty convenient, too. I guess I just liked this town.’

‘Even though you’d never come here?’

‘The pictures on Google looked nice.’

‘Wow.’

The next picture they come across is labelled as ‘abstract.’ It’s a blank canvas, and in the centre lay a single, crudely drawn circle with a sharpie. It’s selling for two hundred dollars. They laugh at it until the receptionist lady kicks them out.

They waste some money in the arcade. Seungmin wants to try getting Hyunjin a giant hamster plush on the claw machine, as a quote unquote ‘welcome gift,’ but he completely flunks the first two tries.

‘Here, here, move along, watch the pro do it, peasant,’ Hyunjin announces, as he lightly pushes an angry shouting Seungmin (‘it’s completely rigged! I’m telling you-’) aside. Pulling up his sleeves, and straightening his hoodie as Seungmin watches on incredulously, he taps the red button and clutches the joystick, manoeuvring it carefully to exactly above the head of the hamster. As dramatically as possible, he pokes at the button, and it extends, downwards, completely missing its head to instead hook onto its foot, and they let out a collective sigh. So when the plush actually lifts, Hyunjin’s eyes grow wide, and he mutters, so quietly and in so much awe that Seungmin barely catches it: ‘wait, that actually worked?’ Seungmin just laughs, rather hysterically, as Hyunjin looks from the toy being dropped into the chute to Seungmin, gaping, eyes screaming Did you see that? Did you see that? Holy shit!

‘Well, here you go,’ he says, handing over the toy once they’d recovered, though Seungmin was still short of breath.

‘Hang on,’ Seungmin says, frowning. ‘Didn’t I say I was getting you something? As a welcome? Why’s it the other way around?’

‘For goodness’ sake, just take the free plushie, stop complaining,’ he says as he casually threw the plush square at Seungmin’s face. And they spend the next hour trying to catch each other off guard as they visited the shops, laughing all the while. They continue all the way back to their front doors, Hyunjin swiftly pegging it at Seungmin whilst slamming his door. Seungmin can still hear him cackling through the walls.

His sister looks up and smirks when he walks in with a stupid grin plastered across his face.

‘Enjoy your date?’ she remarks.

And he throws the poor plushie, just once more.

-

Beyond the park, there was an area of dense bushland and small mountains, which remained fairly left alone by humans. There was a small track using which you could hike through, but it was rough, demanding and not very well built. It’d caused a couple of broken bones in the past. But Seungmin liked it. If the mall was his second-favourite place, then this was his first.

In particular, his favourite spot was the tree in the highest part of the mountain, where you could see all the little houses and roads and features of the town which he loved. Then further on was the sea, which stretched on into the horizon and created a beautiful painting of colours, especially during dusk and dawn, and the clouds above, so much closer and more real, as if you just stretched out your hand a bit more, you’d feel its cotton-candy texture. And, of course, there were friendly cats that lived around in the wild, who were always nice to talk to when you needed a break from reality. Usually, they tended to be slightly less stuck-up than housecats.

At around five, Seungmin put on his sneakers and trekked up to the tree, slipping only four times along the way. His record was twenty-six. And there, beneath the old oak, lay a slender black-and-white Siamese, those piercing blue eyes Seungmin could’ve spotted a kilometre away. He’d met her, around two years ago near a small stream, and after she’d admitted that she was nameless, he’d called her Lily, in honour of the lily flowers blooming nearby.

‘Hullo,’ he calls, waving as she watches him prop himself up the rocky path to the rare patch of soft grass that covered the clearing, of which in the centre grew the tree. Releasing a breath, he plops down his backpack and slides down the three, resting against its giant roots. The blackened face stares at him, curiously, as all cats seemed to do when he approached them

‘I thought you’d forgotten, about us, human. I almost missed your constant whining. Imagine taking that long to get to a tree!’

‘For the last time, Lily, just call me Seungmin. And I’m sorry, human life is stupid busy.’

She stretches and yawned. Seungmin could imagine Lily rolling her eyes. ‘I used to be like you, you know,’ she says after a few beats of peaceful silence, surprising Seungmin with her fond, calm tone. ‘I used to have all these burdens on me. You wouldn’t understand; it was terrible. And you know what I did? I just ran away. I just decided, one day, that I couldn’t do this anymore, I couldn’t stand it a second a more, and ran all the way here. Now,’ she pauses, thoughtfully, whilst Seungmin wondered what could cause so much anguish for a mere cat, ‘I’m not saying you should do that.’ There’s another pause, before she goes on. It’s something Seungmin can tell she’s repeated to herself many times before. ‘But sometimes it’s good to let go of a few things.’

 ‘You have all the resources you need to live handed right into your hands, and yet you’re always ever so busy, ever so stressed. Studying, did you say? Is it really better than sitting here, and watching the sunset?’ He opens his mouth, but she silences him with a swish of her black tail. ‘In the end, in the great span of things, is it really more important? Humans worry too much. They have no reason to, and you have no reason to.’

And so they sat, in absolute silence, and watched the sunset. Chills crawled up his spine. A gentle breeze passes by, and the leaves rustle. They fall through the air, on invisible slides, slowly, calmly, and it soothes him to just watch. He can’t explain it, and though he didn’t want to admit it, he hadn’t felt that much at peace, for a long, long time.

‘…I hate it when you’re right. How the heck are you so smart? Are you, like, secretly a human in disguise?’

‘Maybe.’

He casts her a dubious look, and she offers a small, wry smile. There’s a marvellous glint in her eyes, that gives one the feeling of an all-knowing, omniscient entity. Or maybe, that was his just imagination.

‘Just watch the sunset, young one.’

‘It’s Seungmin-’

‘Shh.’

The tabby comes along that night, as it’s almost reaching eight o’ clock. Lazily, Seungmin reaches out and scratches behind its ear, and slowly the feline inches closer and closer; until eventually, though hesitantly, it’s lying in Seungmin’s lap. Seungmin’s both too tired and dazed to make a fuss though, and so they simply lay there, cool breeze wafting through, in comfortable, cosy silence.

-

After going out to the movies one afternoon, some time having passed since they’d first met, Hyunjin offers Seungmin a little yellow paper ticket to the upcoming competition that his academy was holding. Hand at his neck, he rolls his eyes as Seungmin whooped and cheered, swearing to come with pom poms and banner in hand.

‘Please don’t do that. I’m already screwed enough,’ he says. ‘But you said you wanted to see me dance, or something like that, so here you go, I guess.’

‘Oh, don’t you worry. I would never embarrass you.’

‘Okay, now you’re just stressing me out more.’

‘And what on earth do you have to be stressed about? In all seriousness though, you’re really good. You’re going to blow all the competition straight out the water, I just know it.’

‘And how would you-’

‘Because I just know so. Trust me, Jinnie, I know this stuff.’

Hyunjin stares at him, and abruptly the weirdest silence settles upon them. Seungmin looks up at him, inquiringly as the other boy just continues looking at him with the smallest, purest smile, that suddenly brings back the chaos in Seungmin’s heart that he’d thought he’d managed to supress. Hastily, he looks away; boy, had the loaf of bread lain out in the front of the bakery looked so interesting before? It was round and perfectly golden, in the way where you knew that it’d be soft and sweet and milky if you bit into it-

‘I – okay. Ah, seriously, if you say it like that I’ll believe anything you say.’

‘Well, good.’

Too busy hiding his own blush, Seungmin fails to notice the reddening of Hyunjin’s own cheeks.

He’s amazing. He really is. Seungmin finds himself gaping as he watches him glide and cut through the air, as if it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world. He didn’t even know it was humanly possible to move that fast – one moment he would be on the ground, and the next he would be jumping up, flying across the stage. He was graceful, and yet nimble and quick. Seungmin thinks back to his attempts at dancing, most notably back in seventh grade during the end-of-year dance, and shudders.

Thoroughly enchanted, Seungmin could’ve been content watching him all damn day, but alas, the music can’t go on forever.

Clapping ensued, though its politeness and propriety is disrupted by Seungmin jumping up (he was near the back, if that helped) and cheering so loudly he drowned out half the crowd. Though slight laughter ensued and he was shushed by a security guard, probably embarrassing Hyunjin considerably, Seungmin manages to catch his eye as he’s walking off the stage and sees him cast a little wave in his direction. Seungmin grins and waves his arms in response.

Seungmin is earnestly convinced, watching the rest of the competition, that Hyunjin would get first place by a long, long margin. Alas, it’s taken by some guy named Lee Minho, who’s admittedly alright. Hyunjin seems pretty happy for him though, clapping him on and cheering as he takes the golden trophy. Hyunjin gets second, which came in the form of a slightly smaller, silver trophy; a mass behind the curtains, who Seungmin guesses are his classmates, whooped and whistled. Some freckled blonde kid gets third, but Seungmin was too busy shifting in his chair trying to catch a glimpse of Hyunjin to hear his name. After the solo acts are finally over, the audience start to get up and Seungmin, not really ever having gone to a likewise competition before, follows them outside. It’s the intermission, before the duo and group competitions start. Seungmin quickly establishes the corner next to the coffee table as base as around him, people gathered in clumps and talked. Jolly time for the anti-social club of one to start, he thinks, bringing his phone out his pocket.

‘Seungmin!’

Knowing the voice before he looked up, Seungmin smiled as he put his phone away and skipped up to greet Hyunjin, impulsively throwing his arms around him. ‘What did I say?’ he says as he pulled away, clutching Hyunjin’s shoulder, his eyes sparkling. ‘A true prodigy. You looked so, so cool, dumbass. I kinda wanted to get up and dance along, even though I dance like a brain-damaged chicken.’

Hyunjin just shook his head and snorted, though his eyes betrayed his happy mood. ‘Thanks, thanks. Hey, my friends from the academy are having a celebration down at this really good hotpot place near here, and they said they’d all be fine with you coming along?’

Seungmin’s eyes widened, and his face suddenly bore a mixture of intrigue and uncertainty. ‘I don’t think I should-’ he said slowly, carefully. ‘I’d be a stranger, and I’ll probably just make it awkward. You should go, spend time with them, enjoy yourself – oi, oi.’ Hyunjin was now pulling him along, towards the backstage door. ‘What’re you doing, Hwang Hyunjin?’

‘Taking you to meet them all.’

‘This is kidnapping.’

Hyunjin looked back at him and cast him a look. You’re actually pretty curious about my friends and want to meet them, am I right?’

Seungmin rolled his eyes, but made no move to let go of his hand.

He meets all of them, most of them dancers, though some went to the neighbouring arts academy and were vocalists as well dancers. They’re all cool as heck, though some of them are a bit hyper, and Seungmin, with his slightly lacking social skills, still manages to build up reasonable conversation with everyone, which he’s pretty sure is a first in his life. He still mostly clings to Hyunjin though, and Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind.

He doesn’t end up going to the hotpot later though, his phone dutifully buzzing with a reminder that his final chemistry exam was in three days and he definitely hadn’t studied enough for it. Excusing himself and apologizing at least fifteen times, he hugs Hyunjin once again and hails a bright yellow cab.

As Hyunjin watches the cab disappear into the distance, he feels someone behind him, and turns around to face the group’s maknae, Jeongin, eyeing him inquiringly.

‘What’re you looking at me like that for?’

‘Like what?’ he replies, wearing his wide, innocent smile those charm Hyunjin knew all too well. He was experienced enough not to fall for it though, and answered, ‘like you just learnt something new about me, something fascinating, something I probably don’t even know myself. You know, the obnoxious brat look.’

‘You like Seungmin-hyung, right?’

Hyunjin’s definitely thrown off guard. Feeling his face redden, he snorts and ruffles Jeongin’s hair, nonchalantly as possible, hand on his neck as he looks past him. ‘Stupid kid,’ he says. ‘Hurry, the everyone’s going now, we’re going to be late and miss out on all the good stuff-’

‘Don’t worry, hyung,’ Jeongin interrupts, a sparkle in his eye, ‘your secret’s safe with me.’

‘Brat.’

‘I’m literally only one year younger than you I’m not a kid-’

‘Of course you’re still a kid, you’ll be a kid until you die.’

Jeongin just made spluttering noises and chases Hyunjin, who runs off laughing, and then accidentally trips and falls into a bush.

Just as Seungmin’s dozing off that night on his desk, the pen is hand splattering ink all over his revision workbook and his laptop close to dying, the tabby (whom he’d taken to just calling ‘cat’) jumped upon his windowsill and gave him a minor heart attack. Jumping up over the small thump and thinking he was been robbed, he knocks over his drink bottle and water spills across his desk.

‘Fudge, fudge, fudge-’ hurriedly, he props it back up and groans at mess in front of him, a clump of wet papers and spilt pens.

‘Ah…sorry?’ says the cat, looking over the mess and glancing at Seungmin sorrowfully.

‘No, it’s alright, it’s not your fault I fell asleep whilst studying,’ he stretches, yawns, and gets up, going to get the paper towels from the bathroom. When he gets back, he sees the cat trying to brush away a water puddle from the edge of the desk to prevent it from dripping to the floor, and smiles.

‘It’s all good, I’ll get it cleaned. I’d finished that workbook anyways, and I’ve done enough studying for today.’

Later, after a conversation about the rains recently and an argument about the best type of fish to eat, Seungmin suddenly asks, ‘hey cat, have you ever been in love?’

The cat jumps a bit, obviously startled. ‘What’s this all of a sudden?’ he replies, sinking further down into the beanbag of which he had kicked Seungmin out of.

‘Have you, though?’

‘…do you like somebody?’

‘…yeah.’

‘Who?’

Seungmin glances at him, and something in the back of his head questions the danger of confiding to the cat; but in the end, he decides that if he wanted to get the weight off his shoulders, this was a good of an opportunity as anything.

‘This, guy, next door. His name is Hyunjin. And he’s really, really cool; actually, sometimes you remind me of him. And that’s a compliment.’

The cat goes completely silent, completely still. Seungmin’s too busy pondering and overthinking over how he might’ve just messed up to notice.

‘Well,’ he says eventually, standing up slowly and stretching, his ears twitching and tail tense as he hops up the desk, and to the windowsill, ‘I just remembered I’ve got to, ah, go. Somewhere.’

And then he’s off, leaving a perplexed Seungmin staring out the window, at the empty night.

He doesn’t see Hyunjin for a couple of days afterwards. He seems to hardly ever be in his apartment.

-

A couple of days later, Seungmin was walking home after having did alright (if he did say so himself) on the final chem exam, when he runs into a couple of old friends, a large ragdoll cat with bright green eyes called Mist and her slightly less agreeable friend, a Tortoiseshell named Angel. Checking that no one was around, they walked alongside him down the footpath, Seungmin hoping that any passing drivers or pedestrian wouldn’t think him too crazy, casually meowing while he walked.

‘So, how’s life?’ Seungmin says, casting a look down. Angel’s fur has grown longer, and both seemed to have put on weight. He smiles, looking back up. He could remember back when they’d been dropped off as little kittens at the steps of the animal shelter Seungmin had used to work at, Mist with her two brothers and Angel on her own, squealing and obviously starving. Seeing them all grown up, and well-groomed, still made Seungmin proud every time he saw them.

‘Not much’s going on, to be honest,’ Mist replies, shaking her body as a leaf lands on her, and Angel is quick to interrupt. ‘Oh, only the usual; Coco’s in love with Billy, but Billy’s either an idiot or an idiot because of how dense he is, Milo’s owners got super rich and built him a freaking treehouse, and now saunters around like he’s the hottest shit, and there’s been a couple of new cats that moved into the neighbourhood lately, including Cleo’s long-lost cousins.’ Seungmin chuckles; even though cats are really just meowing, they still had distinct voices, and he liked to imagine Angel as one of the girls in school, gushing about makeup and dating rumours between celebrities.

‘Oh yeah,’ he says, remembering the night before. ‘Have you seen this blue-eyed tabby tomcat around? He’d come over sometimes at night to keep me company, unlike you two. I haven’t seen you guys in ages.’

Mist walks, thinking hard, before cocking her head to look up at him. ‘You mean Jinnie?’

‘I’m sorry, who?’

‘Jinnie, yeah, I’ve seen him around. He appeared a couple of weeks ago, but he’s not very sociable. He kind of just nods at you and moves on; he doesn’t even come outside that often. Actually,’ she says, thoughtfully, ‘I think he lives in the block next to yours.’

‘What?’

‘He’s kinda rude, honestly,’ says Angel, nose held up high. ‘He usually doesn’t even say a hello; we had to basically corner him once just to get his name. He’s always in a hurry, running off towards the woods at night. Why would he talk to a human if he doesn’t even talk to us?’

‘That’s…weird,’ Seungmin whispers, his mind going into overdrive, the cogs turning and turning, though it refuses to make any logical conclusion. What on earth? Hyunjin never mentioned he had a cat. And he could remember the tomcat telling him that he lived a couple of streets away. And the woods? Why the woods?

‘How do you know he lives next door to me?’

‘I see him, a lot. Jumping out the window next to yours, jumping through the trees and past us as if we aren’t even there. He’s skilled though, I’ll admit. He jumps through the trees like a bird through the sky.’ Mist nods along to her words. ‘And that’s no exaggeration.’

‘To the woods?’

‘Yup. Oh hey, oh hey, is that Coco and Billy I see walking together?’

‘Where? Where?’ screeches Angel, and soon they’ve darted off to spy on their lovestruck friends; but Seungmin just keeps walking, hardly noticing. He got the feeling that he was in a sort of crime show (he used to love those) and was a detective of sorts; and now, he had all these random bits and puzzle pieces lain in front of him, that he knew had to somehow connect.

But the more the looks at it, and the more he thinks about it, the more muddled it only gets.

-

‘Hey, Hyunjin! Wait!’

‘Seungmin?’

It’s almost seven in the evening, and Seungmin’s finally caught Hyunjin coming back to his house. It’s dark, and he’s frozen, like a thief caught in the act. Though if anything, Seungmin was the one guilty here; he’d promised his parents that he would go to bed tonight after dinner, as no one else was home and his parents didn’t want him getting kidnapped, as so happens apparently if a minor steps outside into the big bad world after six o’ clock. Oh well – he really needed to sort things out.  

‘Do you have a cat?’

Hyunjin blinks. Seungmin likes to think that he sees a flash of fear upon his face, of some damn emotion that could somehow explain everything, but it’s dark, and he can barely make out the outlines of his face. So much for a crime show – he mentally crosses ‘detective’ out of his endless of list of possible careers. Oh, why not cross out ‘actor’ and ‘television producer’ while they were at it.

‘More specifically, a tabby tomcat with sky-blue eyes called, okay, this is stupid, but I think he’s called Jinnie? And he only comes out night and sometimes he’ll come and sit on my windowsill. Oh, and he’s always running off the woods, at night, and he’s a really, really good jumper and tree-climber. And he thinks tuna is better than salmon, for whatever reason, and, ah, I swear I’m not stalking your cat.’

Hyunjin stares at him, that he can tell, but nothing else. Man, they should’ve fixed the useless lamplights a while back; he can’t tell at all if he’s laughing, or rolling his eyes, or getting upset, or wondering if he should call the nearest psychiatric facility. Which, to be honest, would probably be the closest to what Seungmin himself would do his position. Huh, he really should’ve actually thought this out. For whatever reason, in his mind he’d imagined that right after the initial confrontation, Hyunjin would spill the beans and everything would make sense – but now there’s just a weird, weird silence hanging between them.

Nothing about the situation he was in made any sense, to be fairly honest, not in the usual logical conditions of the world they lived in, he dully reflects. If this was a television crime series, it most likely wouldn’t even be able to reach a two-star rating, or heck, one. He could see the critic reviews before him: ‘What even is this.’ -some cinematic magazine.

‘Well, I, ah, how do I do this – do you have time? To kind of just take a walk to the woods? I have a torch, and everything. If not, that’s alright, but it’s nicer to explain it over there.’ Seungmin’s just standing there, staring, not daring to believe his attempted interrogation actually worked. ‘It’s all very weird,’ Hyunjin continues, looking away, his hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie. ‘But you’re able to talk to cats. Hopefully you’re more used to this kind of…stuff? Also, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call the hospital, though that would also be pretty understandable.’

‘Well, you know, I was just about to say the same exact thing.’

They lock eyes (he can’t actually see the other’s eyes in the dark, but he feels it, okay) and Hyunjin starts laughing, a kind of nothing-makes-sense-and-this-is-so-fucking-weird laugh, shaking his head. Seungmin releases a breath, and leans on the door behind him, feeling something heavy in his heart released.

‘Don’t you dare, dare tell me you are the cat, or I’m jumping off the balcony. This is some, like, next-level romance manga bullshit.’

‘Ah…please don’t jump off the balcony.’

‘Oh, well, this is great. This is really great.’

Boy, has he never been more thankful for the broken lamplights and the increasing obscurity, he thinks as he feels his cheeks, unsuccessfully trying to cool them down with his sweaty palms, only making everything warmer.

‘I’ll just go back inside, and, grab a jacket. Be back in a sec.’ Of course he doesn’t need a jacket, he’s sweating buckets. But he can’t exactly say, I need to calm down my breathing and have a damn glass of water and then kick myself for good measure to ensure I’m not living just, the weirdest, most prolonged dream I’ve ever had.

Though, in the end he doesn’t end up kicking himself.

He’s far, far too scared to wake up.

Hyunjin starts talking the moment they come to the clearing. Seungmin had never been here this late before, but…damn. Somehow, the feeling of magic within the mountain had only increased as the sun sank further under the horizon, and the stars, holy shit. One of the things Seungmin had always liked about the town was that air and light pollution were minimal, and so the unspoilt, unblemished glory of the stars presented itself, for their awe. He’d just never seen like…like this, a full, beautiful, one-eighty view from the ocean to the city in the far, far distance, just endless, hundreds upon millions upon gazillions of so, so many stars. And upon remembering just how small he was, Lily’s words came back to him and he realised, with a peculiar feeling of comfort, that in the end truly nothing mattered at all.

‘I may have lied to you,’ Hyunjin says, no context given.

They’ve lain down, now. Seungmin recalls the first he came here, he was hesitant to even sit down, afraid of the all sorts of bugs and ants that could possibly crawl up him and take a bite – now, he finds he couldn’t really care less.

‘Don’t start telling me now that you’ve actually got stage four leg cancer and then die in my arms.’ Hyunjin mutters a small ‘what,’ and Seungmin sighs. ‘Sorry, sorry, these stars were reminding me of this…young adult romance novel. Do continue. You’re scaring me, and I’m using my nonsensical humour as a coping mechanism.’ Hyunjin stares at him for a bit longer, and then smiles slightly, before going on.

‘Well, you know how I said I’d never been here before?’

Whilst to be honest, Seungmin just wanted a straightforward confession, something along the lines of, ‘hell yea I can shapeshift watch this,’ but he guesses he doesn’t really mind listening to Hyunjin’s voice for a little longer.

Turning his head, he found himself face-to-face with the love of his life his good friend and turned back quickly, back up at the twinkling night sky. ‘Okay,’ he replies.

‘Well, I have.’

‘…okay?’

‘Just, just hear me out. I swear,’ Hyunjin lets out a breath of laughter here, though it half sounded like a sigh, ‘I’ve repeated this monologue over and over, and yet the moment it actually matters I forget everything I need to say. Hey, can we redo this?’

‘The floor is yours. You can talk like I’m not even here.’

‘Alright, don’t complain when I dump my entire life story in you. So, my mum, back ever since I was really little, always liked to take me here. To this little town, and to this exact spot. Sometimes we’d just lie here, and stay the night. And we’d watch the stars, just like now, for hours and hours in absolute silence. We’d never even visit like, the mall, or the park, so I wasn’t faking all that, just saying. We’d come ever month or two, but usually just when they argued. Dad cheated on my mum, a lot. With several different women. It was really shitty. He always thought my mum was too dumb to figure out. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Am I making you uncomfortable?’

‘No. Not at all. Never. I’d be happy to listen forever.’

‘Okay, okay, um. Well, long story short, my mum knew but couldn’t divorce because she completely relied on him and had no one to fall back on. Every time we went on these trips, she’d always tell him it was to visit her parents, even though her mum died when she was a teenager and her dad from a heart attack whilst she was in uni. I guess she figured, hey, she’d leave for a little bit of peace, and he could have his time with his girlfriends. Everyone’s happy.’ He says this bitterly, and his fingers form fists from clutching at his hoodie so tightly. ‘Boy, I couldn’t wait for the moment I’d be out of that place. I hated it almost as much as she did, and I always figured that one day, everything would work out and we would be able to move away, far, far away.’

He pauses, takes a deep breath, and goes on.

‘And then two and a half years ago, she disappeared into thin air. Just like that. One moment she was there, and the next moment she was gone. We filed a missing persons report and everything, and the police helped search all over the state and even the country for her, but they never found her. Not even a trace.’

As they lie there, Seungmin realises Hyunjin’s shaking, shuddering, his breathing becoming jagged. Taking a deep breath himself, lifts his left hand up, and carefully rests it onto Hyunjin’s. Hyunjin doesn’t even turn to look at him; he just keeps staring, at the stars, as his breathing, slowly, slowly starts to regulate again.

‘I guess, it’s time to fill you in on the cat part, huh,’ he says, after several minutes of silence has passed. Though, it might’ve been a bit more, it might’ve been hours; Seungmin has completely lost track of the time. In fact, he’s lost all sense of the time, and it all suddenly feels like abstract, non-existent, made-up nonsense. So as far as he’s concerned, he’d been lying there since the beginning of time. Though he wishes he could turn back time to go off and kill Hyunjin’s father, that’s for sure. Huh, now he has tell himself to calm down, and steady his own breathing.

‘Hmm,’ he replies, after the silence goes on further. There’d been a lot of prolonged periods of silence that evening, between them; and yet, somehow, it’d never felt uncomfortable in the slightest. Now, they’re almost shoulder to shoulder and in that moment Seungmin becomes suddenly very aware that he’s still holding Hyunjin’s hand. He blushes, but doesn’t dare let go. His hand felt pretty nice.

‘It’s been this, this little thing passed down from my ancestors, I guess.’ Hyunjin’s much calmer now, so much so that Seungmin catches a little smile appear on his lips. ‘I’ve forgotten how. Maybe it was a curse, maybe they made a deal with the devil. But my mum, she was the one that passed it down to me, and she’s the one who taught me how to do it. And before you ask,’ he grins, glancing at Seungmin, who was halfway through raising his finger and stating the obvious question, ‘I can’t really explain well how I do it, but basically, it takes practice. The process takes around two to five minutes, and I kind of just, visualise myself morphing. Like, from my limbs to my head, everything. And when I open my eyes again, I’ll be in that form. And no, I can’t do it right now, even though it’s dark. Do understand how awkward it is, okay. It’s like, changing clothes, but if you were also peeling off your skin.’

‘Fair enough. Man, why couldn’t I get a power as cool as that? This is downright unfair.’

‘Ha, I’m sorry. Well, anyhow, when we did come here, my mum and I, we’d usually come as cats. So when she disappeared, I searched for her, you know. And this was the first place I went to, and I searched, through every goddamn inch of this forest. That’s…kind of why I decided to move here, you know. Because I could search, more. It’s stupid, I know, trust me I know, but I always thought, that if I stayed around long enough, I’ll find her, one of these days, resting in this clearing or up on a tree. But I never did, though sometimes, I could swear it felt like she was right behind me – oh, it’s all stupid-’

‘That’s not stupid, at all,’ Seungmin hates to interrupt, but he feels like he has to. ‘That’s very noble. I’d come along and search with you if I could.’

‘…thanks.’

Without warning, Hyunjin turns his hand around to interlock with Seungmin’s, and turns to him, staring right into his eyes as he grins and says, like it was the most natural, casual thing in the world, ‘oh, by the way, I like you too.’

Seungmin doesn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, not because he doesn’t want to but because he damn physically can’t, before turning away, breaking his hand away and burying his face in his hands, folding his body to form a ball, wishing he could fold more and more into himself until there were nothing left of him but a black hole. All there was in his mind was just him running around and around, screaming his head off.

‘Okay, hang on,’ he says, a good while later, turning around to confront Hyunjin, though the moment he sees him and his lopsided smile he melted back into nothingness. ‘Weren’t you the one that avoided me for like, a week after I told you…that?’

‘Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know what I’d say if I saw you, you know. I always liked you. From the very start.’

‘…that’s not only so cheesy I’m going to puke, but also my line. I – I, um – goddamn you, Hwang Hyunjin, now I can’t even talk properly, I can’t even remember what I practiced saying in my daydreams. I mean-’

‘Shhhh.’ Hyunjin cups his cheeks, though he’s smiling wider than Seungmin had ever seen before, and his eyes are sparkling despite the dim evening. Before his cheeks can get any warmer from the realisation that Hyunjin could now tell how warm they were, Hyunjin leans across and kisses him on the tip of his nose, and Seungmin is pretty sure he’s one more touch away from spontaneous explosion.

‘You’re so warm.’

‘Oh, shut up.’

‘…can I kiss you?’

‘Are you actually kidding me.’

‘Nah.’

‘Of course you damn can.’

They’re both grinning like fools as Hyunjin finally closes the gap between them, and it makes it somewhat hard to kiss properly, though they manage. And they stay like that for hours, two giggling idiots under the night sky, fingers intertwined, hearts racing and cheeks pink.

‘Thanks for listening to me ramble, by the way,’ Hyunjin says, afterwards whilst they were walking down the mountain. They’re trying their best not to slip on the mossy steps, though, rather stubbornly, they’re still holding hands. Whilst it would’ve been romantic to stay up there until the sun rose, Seungmin leaning against Hyunjin and neither letting go of each other’s hand, realistically Seungmin’s parents would’ve had him under house arrest for the rest of his teenage (and most likely adult) life if they found him missing from this room the next day. And so, they were making their way back.

‘No, no, I don’t mind at all,’ he replies. ‘I’ll be here to listen whenever you need. In fact, I’ll always be there for you, even if you don’t want me there.’ Hyunjin chuckles at that, and murmurs, quietly, ‘since when would I not want you here?’

‘Oh yeah, if you don’t mind me asking,’ Seungmin pauses walking for a moment, looking at Hyunjin. ‘What did your mum look like? I could look out for her when I’m about.’

‘Well, as a human she had this black hair with a few grey streaks, which she never cared much about, but man, I really doubt that she’d be in that form. Most likely, she’d be a cat.’

‘And what did she look like?’

‘She was a black-and-white Siamese cat. With really blue eyes, like, bluer than mine are, that can seem to see straight through you. Oh, and,’ he says, not noticing how Seungmin had started, how he suddenly goes numb as the final pieces connect, ‘her favourite place, apart from the clearing, was the little stream, which is pretty close to here. You know, the one with the lilies.’

She was sleeping, he could tell, but the moment he walks into the clearing she stirs and her eyes open, slowly. Not moving as Seungmin comes to sit by her, Lily simply watches him. He can tell she already knows.

‘I saw you, you know,’ she finally says, looking away, ‘with my son. He looked so happy, it made me happy, too. A burden’s been taken off my heart. And I thank you for that.’

‘He’s been searching for you,’ he replies, glancing at her. ‘He’s been searching for you for two years. Can’t you just, like, say hello? Even just for a few moments?’

‘I’m afraid not.’

‘Why?’

She sighs and buries her head into her body. She takes her time answering.

‘I was a terrible mum. The worst. I’d never seen him that happy before, when I was around. I just, left him, abandoned him all on his own, as you probably know. I can’t bring myself to face him.’ She shakes her head when Seungmin moves to interrupt. ‘No, it’s better for him. It’s better for him not to get stuck on me; he’ll forget, or at least move on, eventually. If he sees me, he’ll want to stick with me, and it’ll break him.’ She pauses, sighing again.

‘I’ve forgotten how to turn back, by now. Forgotten how it was to be a human. I’ll be gone soon. I was never supposed to stay in this form for this long.’

‘…what-’

‘I should get going,’ she says, standing up and shaking her coat, as Seungmin stares, fog clouding his mind and tears stinging at eyes. ‘Take care of Jinnie. And thanks, again.’

Seungmin doesn’t say anything; he can only watch, as she walks away, into the obscurity of the trees.

He never sees her again.