Chapter Text
Unpreparedness was not a feeling Enji was familiar with. All his life he had been groomed to be the prodigal son, the flawless heir, the unbreakable hero, the best among the best. His parents had taught him not to settle for anything less than excellence. When he entered school, he was already way ahead of so-called peers and easily established his rightful place as a leader of his class. He blazed through UA with highest marks, standing tall and infallible against the resentful or admiring stares of his comrades and professors, and graduated top of his class. Naturally he got the dream job of any pro-hero rookie, a post as a sidekick at the top hero agency in the country, quickly raising through the ranks. Soon enough he would build his own agency; everyone knew it.
The point was, Enji was in control. Always. He knew what he was doing.
He was not panicking like a foolish peasant because his wife's waters had broken at two am. He was driving calmly and surely to the hospital. Without. Panicking.
It was only when frost crept onto the edges of the windshield that Enji noticed how cold the car had gotten. He glanced at his wife, who was breathing hysterically on the passenger seat. Ice lingered on her thin white hair like tiny drops of snow. She met his eyes, her usually blank face contorted with pain and fear.
When he turned his head forward again, the windshield was entirely covered with frost. Fucking hell. Without any visibility, he had no other choice but to stop abruptly on what he hoped was the side of the road. Dammit, dammit. How was he supposed to get her to the hospital now?
"Can't you control your own goddamn Quirk, woman?" he growled irritably, turning the heater to the maximum. He could hardly use his own Quirk to its full potential without risking to burn them both and explode the car.
Fuck this. His hands were not shaking. It would take more than her subpar ice power to make him tremble. She really needed to get a hold of herself. The car might not be able to start again if she failed to do so. And what would they do then?
"I-I have a two kilo human trying to get out of my womb right now, Enji-san! So no, I really can't!" Rei snapped back before bending over due to what Enji assumed was a particularly strong contraction.
It took all his willpower not to gape like a imbecile. In the two years of their marriage, Rei had never responded so disrespectfully to him before. Quiet, temperate, accommodating, and meek were words he would use to describe his wife's character should anyone ask. The obedient, perfect, Japanese wife.
Enji was twenty-two when they got married, and her twenty. Their parents arranged the whole business, the matchmaking, the wedding, the house. All Enji had to do was to show up at the ceremony, kiss the bride, smile for the camera, endure his marital duty, and get back to work the next morning.
And then they went ownard, faking marital bliss at his parents' or his agency's mundane parties while barely addressing two words to each other in the privacy of their home. Whatever. It didn't matter. A sheltered housewife like her couldn't begin to understand the pressure he had on his shoulders anyway. She did her duty, and he did his.
And so when their parents casually commented on her lack of pregnancy, she didn't utter a complaint when he started visiting her bed more frequently. Rei never complained. It was one of her most appreciable qualities.
And now here they were. Stuck in a car that refused to start again because she couldn't control on her own goddamn Quirk. Giving birth couldn't be that hard, for fuck's sake. Women did it all the time, for thousands of years.
Enji turned the key insistently and the car made a pathetic sound before turning off again. Rei whimpered weakly as he hit angrily the steering wheel.
"Okay. Okay fine." Enji took a deep breathe. "I'll carry you to the hospital myself. It's not that far–"
"No!" his wife interrupted him mid-sentence with a gasp. "No no no, we don't have the time! He's coming right now!"
Right now. Right now in the middle of the road, without any competent doctor in the vicinity or even a nurse or anyone. Just two lost strangers, who had no idea what the fuck they were doing. That right now?
No way.
"Have you freaking lost your mind? You can't give birth here! I'll call emergencies. Just...keep it inside or something!"
Enji didn't know what happened during a childbirth. That knowledge belonged to the mystifying world of femininity, of which he was very much not a part of, or medicine.
He was not prepared. He was not ready. Therefore, it couldn't be happening.
Rei looked at him. Truly looked at him, not that classy mask she usually wore around him. Two intense grey eyes drilled holes in his very soul. Who was this woman? He certainly never met her in two years of common life. "Enji-san. This baby is going out now or never. Now call the fucking doct-uuuugh!"
His wife grabbed his hand and crushed it with a strength he never would have guessed she had. Frost melted on his wrist where her fingers dug into his skin painfully. He doubted anyone else would have survived in this car with her.
With his free hand, he called the fucking doctor.
After that instant, Enji's usually flawless memory betrayed him. He remembered the calm voice of the obstetrician on the phone, keeping him grounded with simple instructions. Tell us where you are. Recline her seat. Find something warm to cover her. He remembered Rei's weight in his arms, her pained gasps as he moved her around, the blood between her legs staining his coat. She weighted practically nothing, even with her belly full with another human being. It couldn't be normal. It couldn't.
Good. Now I need to know how far the baby has progressed.
And how was Enji supposed to fucking know? He didn't have X-ray vision, did he now?
Look at her vagina, Todoroki-san. Do you see the head?
What. Enji had to inspect her down there?
"Nothing you haven't seen before," Rei moaned as she spread her legs. "Just do it already! I can feel him! I'm going to die. We're both going to die."
"You're not going to die," Enji vaguely recalled saying. "Neither of you."
They were not allowed to die on his watch. Rei crushed his hand again as the timing in between her contractions accelerated.
Do you see the head, Todoroki-san?
Maybe. He saw an alarming amount of blood mixed with weird fluids he'd rather not think about, and something that looked like a human head, if one wasn't too picky.
This is the moment. You wife needs to push and you have to be ready to catch the child. After the head has passed, it will go very fast.
It went very fast. So fast Enji only kept hazy recollections of the whole thing. Of Rei grunting and whimpering and pushing. Of the doctor uttering orders through the phone. Of his hands, red with blood when he held his son for the first time.
His son. His son. Who looked ugly as fuck. A scaringly small thing, wrinkly and covered with gore.
Utterly silent.
He wasn't supposed to be silent, right? Babies cried when they were born, right?
Good job, Todoroki-san. You need to tie the umbilical cord now.
The what now? Ah. The thing on his son's belly. He had nothing to tie it with. Shoelaces. Doc said shoelaces were okay. With one hand he removed the lace from his boots - fireproof, top quality product for a top quality hero haha, the salesman had laughed - and managed to make two knots around the...thing.
He needed to cut now it, right? In the movies, they always cut the umbilical cord as soon as the baby was out. He didn't have any knife at hand. Only his fire. He could direct his flames into a highly concentrated form, like a laser. It was that or his teeth.
You don't need to cut the cord right away, Todoroki-san. Help is on the way.
"What's going on?" Rei's voice was barely audible through the fog his mind. "Is he okay? Enji-san? Enji-san!"
Still not making a sound. The color of his skin? How could he know? His son was covered with blood. Pink? Light pink maybe. Yeah. Light pink. To dry him and keep him warm? Enji had given his coat to Rei already. He was warm though. He could keep his (dead, was he dead, why wasn't he crying) son warm on his own. Yes. He could do that.
He was a hero. The best of his class. He could keep his own fucking son warm.
"It's alright," he remembered mumbling. To the baby, to Rei, or to himself, he couldn't tell. "Everything is going to be alright."
Enji had always been in perfect control of his Quirk. His flames went where he ordered them to and to the intensity he decided. He wasn't like those fools who failed to rein in their own power, terrified of themselves.
Enji was in control. Enji also had never been so scared of his flames in his entire life. What if he burnt his child on accident?
The baby whimpered inside the crook of Enji's arm. He froze on the spot, his heart beating madly inside his ribcage. Bump bump bump, like a mad horse straining against the reins. He had never felt like this before.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And when Touya took his first breath and cried, Enji cried with him. Tears of relief rolling down his cheeks, and evaporating before they could fall down.
Pathetic. Or so his father would have said if he had seen his heir crying in public like a bitch.
After. After, he truly couldn't remember a thing. Rei told him the ambulance arrived one minute later. She also told him he growled at the innocent paramedic who tried to take Touya from him, which clearly couldn't be the truth. Enji was a dignified member of the society, not a mad dog.
He knew he kept Touya in his arms all the way to the hospital. The feather-light weight of his son was imprinted in his muscles, along with the sound of Touya's soft whimpers in his ears. The delighted glistening in Rei's eyes as she touched their child's cheek for the first time.
"Keep him." She shook her head when he offered Touya to her. "Keep him warm for me please."
And so Enji did.
.
.
Nothing was supposed to change for Enji after the brat's birth. In the way he had imagined the whole postpartum ordeal, Enji would keep on devoting himself to his work as usual while Rei took care of their progeny. He had zero interest in the child until he was old enough to manifest his Quirk and therefore became potentially trainable. An heir he could work with.
But babies? He wanted those weak, pitiful, annoying creatures as far from him as physically possible. Rei could deal with it; women were biologically programmed to handle all this crap. And Enji certainly had other, more important things to do than to bottle feed the brat only to get thrown up on, stay up all night until the screams stopped, or change diapers.
Unfortunately, it turned out Touya gave no shits about his father's plans.
Because he refused to fall asleep anywhere but in Enji's arms.
Literally. The doctors said it was the shock of the birth disturbing the brat's immature sensitive system, and it would go away soon enough on its own. In the meantime, Enji had no other choice but to play the role of a human heater and portable cradle. Him. Endeavor. At the beck and call of one snotty newborn who couldn't even hold his head up on his own.
"You're an annoying parasite, you know that?" Enji glared down at the fucker wailing pitifully against his chest. "A needy." Swing to the right. "Pathetic." Swing to the left. "Annoying." To the right again. "Parasite."
Touya hiccuped when Rei walked back into the nursery, looking determined and ready to draw the bottle full of heated formula in her hand. He silently shifted the position of the little monster so she could get access to his mouth. They both sighed in relief when Touya eagerly sucked on the nipple. Maybe, maybe he would fall asleep. And they would both be able to get some deserved rest.
What time was it anyway? Sunlight passed through the yellow curtains Rei had picked for the nursery. Afternoon probably? He genuinely didn't know. Enji had never felt so tired in his entire life. He was a hero. He had pulled countless of full-nighters before without a word of complaint. But that brat was draining his lifeforce like the toothless vampire he likely was.
Once Touya was done drinking, Enji mechanically put him on his shoulder, grumbling, "There there," as he softly pat his back. Well. As softly as Enji was physically able to do.
"I think he's going to fall asleep soon," his wife whispered, peering at her son's wrinkly face thinkingly. "The song?"
Enji grunted in vague approval. Rei took that answer as a ringing endorsement and began humming gently, her fingers running soothing circles on their son's chubby cheek. His wife had a sweet voice, like smooth silk and peaceful winter nights wrapped in sounds. He hadn't known that. Well. It wasn't his fault she never bothered to share her singing talents with him before.
Hell, babies were so high maintenance. Swing to the right, the tale of a little bear falling asleep under the stars, swing to the left. And if Endeavor wasn't at the exact right temperature, the brat would just scream. All. Night. Long.
But after five days of living hell, they had gotten better at that game. His tiny eyelids were fluttering, fighting to stay open. Just a little more. Just a li…
Dring! Driiiiiiiing!
Touya's eyes snapped widely open in surprise, his tiny mouth gaping.
"It's okay; it's nothing," Enji mumbled with heartfelt despair. "C'mon, don't cry. It's just Daddy's phone. Nothing to be upset about…"
For a second, he genuinely thought they would get away with it. Rei stared at them with wild, exhausted eyes, biting into her lips anxiously.
Driiiiiiing!
Touya wailed. Before his birth, Enji had no idea human lungs could create such hellish sounds. In front of them, Rei made a noise between a groan and a sob before taking the screaming monster into her arms.
"What?" Enji snarled as a greeting to whoever had the disastrous idea to call him.
"Sup, Todoroki, my bro!" the obnoxious cheerful tone of his coworker carried through the phone. "Wha...? Who's being murdered in the background?"
It took all his self-control not to snap the phone in half and throw it against the wall. "I'm on paternity leave. If half the city isn't burning right now, I swear to God…"
Paternity leave. He was forced to take a paternity leave. He hadn't known that existed. Rei stifled a hysterical giggle at his murderous expression, her hand soothingly caressing their son's head without success.
"Right right, sorry!" his coworker laughed good-heartedly, not sounding sorry in the least. "Listen; Greyclaw was spotted in the merch quarter. And since you're the only one who fought him before... We're not asking you to go to the front, but we could use your expertise, oh great and mighty Endeavor. Can you come to the agency asap?"
Fuck. Fuck. No, he really couldn't. He knew Touya wouldn't stop yelling if his personal heater wasn't there to sooth him to sleep.
"Go," Rei mouthed with a tired smile over the baby's head. "We...We'll manage."
Touya screamed even louder, probably for the only purpose to prove a point.
"I'm on my way," Enji growled before ending the call without waiting for an answer.
He and Rei silently stared at each other, while Touya kept on yelling enthusiastically. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a exasperated sigh. "I have to take him with me."
His wife blinked confusedly. Turned her face down to look at her son's red face. Then back to her husband. "You want to take a screaming newborn to your workplace," she said flatly.
"Not like we have a choice, do we? He'll never fall asleep if I'm not here." Enji took back what could only be their karmic punishment from her arms.
"Yes, but…" She sighed before straightening decidedly. "Alright. I'll drive you."
Enji snorted. "I can drive myself. I'm not impotent yet." Only very, very tired, but it wasn't like she was in a better state than him.
"Not with a baby, you can't," Rei replied in her usual even tone as she hastily stuffed his pacifier, diapers, small blanket, bottle, and formula inside a backpack. "We don't have a carseatchild seat car, remember?"
Oh. That was a problem. Still, he had no wish to be driven to work by his wife as if he was moody teen requiring adult supervision. He wasn't even aware she had a driving licence. Because she did have a driving licence, right?
Well. Not like he had much of a choice at this point.
"Don't worry," he said to Touya as he carried him to the garage. "I'll protect you if she crashes the car."
"I heard that." She glared at him from the other side of the car. "Keys, please?"
Still holding Touya with one arm, Enji rummaged through the pockets of the coat he had hastily thrown over his shoulders with his free hand and threw the key at her. He honestly expected her to miss, but she caught the device mid-air without a hesitation.
The car in question was the mechanical equivalent of a massive, dangerous beast, darkly gleaming in chrome black. Brand new, of course. Enji had gotten rid of his old vehicle since...the incident. Not because it brought back unpleasant and slightly traumatizing memories, Enji wasn't that weak of mind. It felt inappropriate, that was all. And the leather had been ruined anyway.
Enji had escaped the house after Touya had fallen asleep for a few blissful hours, threw a number at an elated car salesman, gave him carte blanche as long as the man worked fast and drove back with a shiny new vehicle. He genuinely never got the appeal of cars. They were just cars.
Rei, however... Considering the way her eyes gleamed when she slide into the driver's seat, her hands caressing the steering wheel with reverence, she absolutely got the appeal. Another thing he hadn't known about his wife. Great.
Thankfully, Touya was no longer crying, merely hiccuping against Enji's chest.
"Seatbelt." He glared sharply at his wife as she cheerfully turned the key into the ignition.
Rei looked down at her chest, then at her husband and son safely tucked under the belt as they were supposed to, and chuckled. "Aye aye, Enji-san. You don't need to look so tense. I'm a very good driver."
"I'm not tense," he grumbled and immediately had to resist the urge to hang on to the handle as she started at a flying speed.
What a deceitful woman. Rei could not under any circumstances be called a good driver. She was an awful driver. The worst. A public danger. She drove no less than 10 kilometers per hour above the speed limit. Barely glanced at her rearview mirror. Actually accelerated at the yellow light. Twice. All the while whistling innocently along to the pop song playing on the radio.
"Can you slow down, you mad woman?" he hissed, holding Touya protectively against his chest with both arms. "There is a baby on board."
Instead of acting reasonably and apologizing for her reckless behavior, she had to gall to smirk sideways at him. "Relax, Enji-san. I know what I'm doing."
"And what is that, actively trying to kill us all?" Enji glared at his public hazard of a wife, who genuinely looked like she was having the time of her life.
"That's not very nice. Not everyone drives like an old lady, you realize."
Did she just...sass him. "I do not drive like an old lady."
She outright giggled. Touya squirmed at the bell-like sound. "Enji-san. You forget I've seen how you take the roundabouts. You absolutely do drive like an old lady. An old lady with presbyopia, most likely."
"Road. Safety. Is. Important. And you need to take that turn."
"Oops." She blinked, abruptly pushed on the brake pedal and forced the trajectory of the car into an unholy 90° angle. "There!"
She was crazy. Utterly crazy. How had he not noticed before? Sure, it wasn't like they actually talked before, but still.
"I'm not letting you drive my car," he firmly declared. "Ever again."
She had the nerve to pout at him. "Aw, Enji-san, don't be like that! Look how quiet Touya is. He loves it."
Enji looked down on their son skeptically. Touya stared back blurrily, his tiny button-like mouth forming a circle. He did look relatively content, but Enji would rather stab his own kidney than admit it. "Because he's terrified."
She chuckled again, her fingers tapping against the steering wheel in rhythm with the music. Enji couldn't help but stare at the crow's feet of mirth blossoming at the corner of her eyes, making the dark shadows under her eyes barely noticeable. She looked...happy. Exhausted, but more cheerful than he had ever seen her.
So that was what she looked like under her mask of polite distance. Tinkling giggles instead of stiff silences, gleaming grey eyes in place of turned down stares, delighted smiles covering up placating and empty stretches of the lips.
Enji felt like an idiot. And he hated feeling like an idiot.
"Enji-san?" Rei's calm voice called him out of his reverie. "We're here."
He opened his eyes confusedly and peered at the window. "Right."
His wife bit her bottom lip. She did that a lot around him. "Is-is it going to be alright? I could come with you..."
"No," Enji curtly replied as he unclipped his seatbelt, opened the door, and tucked a blissfully silent Touya into the crook of his elbow. "We'll be fine."
"If-If you're sure."
As he was ready to stand up, Rei leaned toward him. For about half a second, Enji was convinced she meant to kiss him, but she merely graced their son's forehead with her tender lips. Had they kissed since the wedding? He genuinely couldn't remember.
"See you later, love," she whispered to Touya, before looking up to Enji. "When do I have to come back?
"Don't." He hastily stood up. He needed to get out of that car. Something was wrong with him. He felt like he was suffocating for no reason. "Someone from the agency will drive us back." And then he added, decidedly avoiding looking at her, "Go rest, or something."
Closing the door was a goddamn relief. That freaking warmth fluttering in his chest was merely the product of exhaustion and the madness of the few last days.
Enji was perfectly in control. As always.
.
"Wha…? Endeavor-san? Are you wearing pyjamas? I know Brisk-san said it an emergency, but… ARE YOU HOLDING A BABY?"
"Hm. Endeavor-san, I really don't want to be rude, but your child is crying? So if you coul... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARM OH MY GOD YOU'RE ROASTING HIM ALIVE!"
"Yes, I can see he's calm now. And not burnt to death. I'm not panicking, who's panicking not me. Could you give us a warning next time you plan on using your Quirk on defenseless human beings, please?"
"No, I didn't mean to imply you had anything less than perfect control over your own Quirk. Or that you would hurt your own child on purpose. I highly suggest you avoid doing so in public from now on though."
"Do I...know how to change diapers? Errr..."
"Okay, so that was something. Let's never do that again."
.
Rei bought a car seat. And a harness to tie the newborn to one's chest. Enji was never, ever going to use it even though it looked bloody useful. He had an image to uphold.
And heating blankets. Which apparently was a thing. A thing that worked just fine on Touya. Enji was absolutely fine being replaced so easily by fucking blankets.
Fucking. Peachy.
.
.
Touya hadn't made a single sound since they entered the house. The consideration was appreciated, but quite unexpected. Touya was always loud. He had thankfully stopped screaming as much as he had in the first months, but still couldn't be called a discreet baby. Touya screamed. Hiccuped. Laughed.
But at the moment, he was silent, his tiny mouth held tightly shut. Perhaps he could somehow sense that sounds were not tolerated in this house. Even the walls didn't have patience for children here.
Enji rubbed Touya's back soothingly. They would be out of here and back home soon enough. He hated this place as well. He hadn't realized how much he had suffocated in his childhood house before he moved out.
"Hm," Mother eventually said, staring at Touya impassively. "He looks like you, I suppose. We can't be sure until his Quirk appears, but I think it's safe to assume your wife didn't spread her legs for another man."
His jaw shut tightly with anger. Did she have to badmouth the child's mother right in front of him? If his mother had doubts about his wife's character, there was no need to speak them out loud so brashly.
Touya blinked up at him, his tiny fist waving in the air. His hair was as red as Enji's and his eyes had the same turquoise shade as his grandmother. He had her eyes. Did that mean nothing to her?
Probably not. Todoroki Sayaka had never cared about anything but herself for years; she wasn't going to start now.
"Don't glare at me like that." Mother clicked her tongue. "You can never be sure."
"You're the one who picked her." Enji had the stupid idea to argue. He should know better by now.
She crossed her legs, staring at them from the other side of the low table. "Yukimura Rei has impeccable pedigree. It's undeniable. Doesn't mean she's not cheating on you."
Lies. His mother couldn't help herself from spurring poison if she tried. He and Rei might not love each other, but he knew she was loyal. She wouldn't do something so crass. She wouldn't.
"Anyway. I heard your ranking dropped." Mother changed the subject.
"I was busy with the baby." Enji knew better than to roll his eyes, but the temptation was present.
Predictably, she had things to say about that as well. Nothing was safe from Todoroki Sayaka. She had opinions about everything. From his work to his home, passing through his sex life. "That's what your wife is good for. You're never going to be Number One with that attitude, Enji."
He gritted his teeth silently, protectively holding Touya against his chest. He hadn't forgotten his goals. Or hers. He could hardly tell anymore.
Nothing he did was ever good enough to her standards anyway.
"You're right, as usual," he said sarcastically. "I shall endeavor to work harder from now on. If that is all…"
He stood up, Touya in his arms. She hadn't ask to hold her grandson, and he hadn't offered. His mother wouldn't know how to show affection if her life depended on it.
"...Very well. Please convey my regard to your wife."
Just after implying Rei was a cheating slut. How like her. "I will."
.
Rei danced when she cooked. Nothing outrageous, only humming and gentle swaying of her hips with the music playing on the background.
Enji found himself staring, his eyes eagerly taking in the way her hair glowed under the late afternoon light, the fascinating move of her tights under her dress, the barely noticeable smile curled at the corner of her pink mouth. An unfamiliar warmth grew in his belly at the sight. He did not like this feeling. Sex had always been a chore more than anything else to Enji, and their martial couplings had been exactly the same. A duty.
But that feeling. Desire. How crass. Rei had just given birth to a child, for fuck's sake. It was wrong to allow his eyes to roam on her body that way.
"Welcome back, Enji-san," Rei politely greeted him. "How was your day?"
"Alright," he growled as he put his mantle on the chair. "Touya?"
"Sleeping."
He settled behind the counter, watching her cut carrots skillfully. His day had been terrible, actually. The villain he had been hunting down escaped. Enji had to choose between catching the fucker and rescuing the civilians who had managed to get themselves caught in the fight. What a fucking pain. Crimson Riot congratulated him for his actions, but still.
"Do you need help?"
She blinked up at him, astonished by the offer. He didn't do much around the house, but he wasn't that bad, right? He could peel goddamn vegetables...in theory. It couldn't be that hard anyway.
"I'm almost done, but thank you," she gently refused. "Enji-san. I-I have a question."
"What is it?" Enji narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He didn't like the way she was biting her lip anxiously and avoiding looking directly at him.
"Please forgive me for rudeness, but I must ask. Do you…? Do I repulse you now?"
Enji froze. She didn't...she didn't mean what he thought she meant. Surely. "I don't understand."
Hints of red blomossed on her pale cheeks. She still wouldn't look at him. "I mean...you haven't...visited my room. Since the birth. Since my pregnancy, actually. So I was...wondering. If I disgusted you."
Oh. She was asking if the fact that Enji was in the front row seat when she popped out their kid turned him off indefinitely. He didn't picture himself explaining that it was the contrary, if anything.
"You...gave birth recently. It would be improper of me to assume…"
"Six months ago, Enji-san."
Yes, well. Enji had no idea of the appropriate postpartum time to get back to business. The thought of going back to their cold, frustrating layings was enough to twist his guts with unease. He couldn't just ignore that Rei was a real human being deserving of respect anymore. Not after what they had both been through.
But it didn't have to be that. It could be different. It would be different.
Enji would make sure of it.
.
.
It was different. So different his head spinned when she kissed him, waves of fire raging in his body at the touch of frost.
Three months later, she was pregnant again.