Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Do Kyungsoo sighs as he lugs in the last of his boxes into the small cottage’s living room. His grandparents had left him their little house, promising it to him when they moved into a retirement community. The little lot stands a short distance from the solar railways which means a lot of white noise filters in through the windows. Luckily, tall evergreens and lush oaks maintained some semblance of privacy - otherwise, Kyungsoo would have to look out the window and see commuters every day. Being in the ‘burbs had always seemed like a nightmare to him, so the illusion of isolation given by the surrounding trees and yard is very welcome.

“Last one…” Kyungsoo mutters to himself. He’d gotten the heavy furniture moved already - all that are left are littles: photos, books, dishes, knick-knacks… Graduating from apartment to house ended up being more of an ordeal than he thought. Even with his major pieces arranged already, seeing the boxes piled up gives him more anxiety than ever. Most people like to make a little bit of progress then call it quits, pick it up for another day.

Most people are not Do Kyungsoo.

Boxes everywhere? No. That simply won’t do. Just the thought of sleeping, knowing there’s a veritable mazes of stuff outside his door, gives him anxiety. He doesn’t know how people can do it (and doesn’t want to know). He’s not stupid, he knows unpacking an entire house (a small, two bedroom house - but a house nonetheless) is a fool’s endeavor. That’s why he’d gotten himself some help!

“Knock. Knock.”

And there it is.

Kyungsoo jumps, surprised by the sudden pounding on the door. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he shuffles over toward the front door, tapping fingerprint scanner. A little “shiff” sounds out as the door slides open. It’s old, like the rest of the place; chock full of archaic mechanisms like fingerprint scanners instead of auric signature readers and even an open gas range. (Kyungsoo actually loves the gas range, he’d practically begged his grandparents not to touch it when they’d talked about remodelling.)

“Delivery for a… Do Kyungsoo?” The delivery man says nonchalantly. Floating behind him is a hover platform, and on top of that sits a massive box. It’s got to be almost three meterse high and a meter wide.

“Yes, sir!” Kyungsoo nods happily. Without a word, the delivery man extends a tablet screen. Kyungsoo signs it with his finger eagerly. “Right in here,” He steps back ushering in the platform.

The front of the house is an open kitchen and living room situation, with a hall separating the back half of the house into two bedrooms with accompanying baths (the smaller bedroom shares a half with the laundry room, too). Kyungsoo has the platform (and its massive package) dropped in the living room. The hover platform drops the package gently next to another pile of boxes before routing back toward the delivery truck.

“Thank you!” Kyungsoo chirps, waving the delivery man away rushedly. Luckily, the guy’s not a chatty type, and he leaves with as much enthusiasm as Kyungsoo had waved him away with. Good. Kyungsoo definitely didn’t need anyone nosing into his business. Especially not with what he’s about to open.

Clapping his hands giddily, Kyungsoo eyes the nondescript package with excitement. The massive wooden box towers over him. He wishes he could just dig in, but he understands - things like this can’t be delivered in plebian cardboard. They must be handled with delicate care. After what he’d paid for shipping alone, it sure as hell better be packaged well!

One thing about moving is that tools always have to be handy. This works in Kyungsoo’s favor, since he needs to unscrew the wooden box’s paneling to get to what’s within. The sharp shrill of a drill fills his house, and he’s once again glad his neighbors aren’t really all that close. After what feels like substantial labor, the wooden panels are detached - not that that means much. There’s still layers upon layers of styrofoam, plastic wrapping, tape, and god knows what else between him and his actual package.

This is gonna get messy.

Kyungsoo wipes the sweat off of his brow, clapping the dust off of his hands as he strides back into his house. He’d had to make a few trips to the recycling receptacle out back to get rid of all the excess wrapping and trash - not to mention the clouds of dust it had kicked up. Finally, after what felt like the most intense christmas morning unwrapping ever, Kyungsoo can admire the casing of his most exciting purchase:

His one of a kind B43K-Hyun Maidbot. Not a lot of people know about SM Tech’s robotics division. They’re known mostly for, well, everything else: kitchen appliances, phones, cars… So maybe they own a worryingly large marketshare of the world’s technology. It’s good quality stuff! Unsurprisingly, they decided to get their hands in the android industry too and, also unsurprisingly, they’d absorbed a bunch of small companies to make their footprint. The result? Some of the world’s (if not - the world’s) finest androids.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know the fine details - he’s just a food critic, after all. All he knows is that, unlike many, SM Tech’s androids are all one of a kind. Every. Single. One. Sure, they have similar models, but their companion line is top of the notch, beautifully synthesized, and programmed to have not only sophisticated artificial intelligence - but seamlessly realized personalities. The whole “are robots people” discourse kind of tires Kyungsoo, but knowing his bot wasn’t created on some assembly line makes him feel better about it. Sure, he had to go through a laborious application process (apparently, the waiting lists are pretty hefty) - but, hey, as long as he doesn’t think about what he paid, he’s fine!

His friends had ground into him hard, too. They kept reminding him that androids are a responsibility, that you can’t just throw them out when you’re bored of them, blah… Blah… As if Kyungsoo isn’t the most responsible one of them! The thing he didn’t tell his friends was that, well, he’d been lonely for awhile, but… People kind of scare him. Having a companion would be nice. He’d looked into the capabilities of his model, and the site had even mentioned potentially cooking as something it could learn.

The android’s casing looks like a box. But, like, a nice box. Not a cardboard box or something. It’s a pretty, frosted glass. I light diffuses from within, but Kyungsoo doesn’t know what the source would be. He fears that touching it will smudge fingerprints, but he knows that at some point he has to. How else is the thing supposed to work? Aside from his invoice and a promotional catalogue, there hadn’t been any instructions included.

Slowly, Kyungsoo extends a hand toward the box. He’s not sure why, but it’s kind of scary. Something about a plain, blank slate, pristine, gleaming in the low light of the kitchen, intimidates the little journalist. He swallows nervously, squeezing his eyes shut as he finally rushes to tap it.

“.....Whirr…. Whirr…. Whirr…” Kyungsoo opens an eye to see if anything had happened.

“Beeep!” The case chirps loudly, making Kyungsoo jump back and clench his heart.

Suddenly, the milky panel of the box illuminates, and a screen of sorts appears front and center - perfectly at eye level. Neat, sans-serif lettering reads:

“Welcome! Before we get started, please confirm your identity.” A little button beneath the text reads “start auric reading”. Kyungsoo taps it, standing at attention as he waits for the little beam to pass over it. It does, signalling its completion with another little chirrup. This time, the screen prompts: “verbal confirmation”.

Kyungsoo follows the recognition process step by step. He says his name, his date of birth, and rattles off all other kinds of information. There’s a retinal scan - how ancient is that? - and of course, the old fashioned username and password. Finally, after being interrogated by a white box for what felt like an hour, the little loading wheel spins in the middle of the box.

A robotic voice echoes out from undetectable speakers, filling the living room, “Welcome to your own personal android concierge, Mr. Do.” The font on the screen mimicked the spoken words, reading: “Welcome, Mr. Do”.

“Would you like a tour of your brand new, one of a kind SM Tech Companion Android?” (Two buttons pop up, one with yes, one with no.)

“No, thank you,” Kyungsoo replies. Unpacking this thing took enough time, he’s not about to spend god knows how long being walked through some lame tutorial. He’s played plenty of video games in his day and cooked many a meal. Trial and error has always been his go-to with problem solving, and it hasn’t failed him yet. Well, like, not catastrophically failed him.

“Are you sure, Mr. Do? Your android is a very sophisticated, complex companion. The depth with which you can customize your companion experience is immense, and it changes almost daily with each patch released to ensure your companion provides the most meaningful, fulfilling relationship possible. We highly recommend that you do a walkthrough so you can be intimately familiar with your android. Are you sure you want to forgo the tutorial, Mr. Do?”

Kyungsoo sighs, rolling his eyes. He swears he heard some attitude in that last remark. Was the robot box giving him attitude? Rude! Anyways, does he really need a tutorial to tell a robot what he wants where? No, no he does not. Shaking his head, he answers the machine.

“I am sure I do not want a tutorial.” He speaks emphatically.

“Very well then,” The machine almost sounds defeated. “Should you wish to participate in the walkthrough at any time, simply press the prompter button on the side of the console and say ‘tutorial’. Alternatively, you may inform the console via remote application on your own personal device or your compact concierge.”

“Click.” A small noise alarms Kyungsoo. His eyes widen as a tiny little panel juts out from the side. Slowly, he approaches the extended thing. It looks like a little drawer, and on top of it is a tablet. It’s heftier than the newer screen tables, which kind of scares him. What kind of ‘concierge’ needs that much hardware and power.

“Please take your compact concierge,” The robotic voice instructs. “The compact concierge provides a portable means to customize your companion experience on the go, as well as system monitoring. For a full list of concierge functionality, you may ask ‘concierge functions’, take the full tutorial or-”

“No, tutorial!” Kyungsoo cuts the machine off insistently. He pouts, inspecting the tablet before gently placing it on top of a nearby box.

“Yes, Mr. Do. With your concierge console introduction concluded, that leaves only one thing…”

“Finally, finally,” Kyungsoo bounces excitedly, clapping his hands.

“Mr. Do, would you like to meet your android companion?”

“Yes!” His shout echoes loudly in the empty house, and shame washes over him immediately. Coughing embarrassedly, he responds again (like the machine is judging him), “Y-Yes.”

“Very well, then. We hope you enjoy your android companion. If you have any needs, you may press the prompter button on the side of this console or you may ask your companion for assistance…” The voice trails off, and everything goes quiet for a second.

Kyungsoo wrings his hands in anticipation. Faint whirring sounds come from the white box, muffled. He wonders if that’s him - the bot, that is. He’s only ever talked to cyborgs and, like, one bot. Actually having one as a companion? Holy crap. He can’t wait.

“Thud.” The silhouette of a hand hits the previously blank, white panel of the console. Kyungsoo’s heart leaps into his throat, and he watches it with wide eyes. A few seconds pass by, and everything is quiet once again.

A few other vague shadows shift across the milky white surface of the panel, but the only thing that really stands out is that hand. It looks big - at least, bigger than Kyungsoo’s. Something about him draws the journalist in. He can hear his heart beating in his chest, but he still can’t help but step forward. Gingerly, he raises his hand up toward the white panel. His hand shakily reaches out toward the other one. For some reason, he’s afraid the hand’s gonna bang on the glass or that it’ll disappear.

Everything is quiet. So impossibly quiet.

Kyungsoo gasps quietly to himself when his fingertips make contact with the panel. Warmth floods into his palm as he lines his fingers up with the other hands. For a second, Kyungsoo lets his own just sit there - palm to palm with this new being that he’d somehow been deemed worthy of bringing into his home. Even stretching his fingers to the max, his hand isn’t nearly as big as the other’s. Something about that makes his heart ache.

“Click!”

“Fuck!” Kyungsoo jumps back, practically falling on his ass, terrified from the sudden noise. He clutches his chest again, eyes blown wide open as he watches a scene out of a scifi movie unfold in front of him.

A tiny sliver of light splits the front panel of the console. Gradually, the slit of blinding, white light increases in size. It spreads further and further open, until nothing but light floods Kyungsoo’s vision.  Kyungsoo can’t help squinting, and he moves his forearm to cover his eyes. Mechanical clicking and whistles fill the living room until finally, they all cease, stopped with one final sound.

“Thud.” It sounds heavy like a… Like a footstep.

Kyungsoo blinks rapidly to clear the dots from his vision. As he recollects himself, he sees the outline of a tall form in front of him.

“Thud.” The form takes another step toward him. No, not form. It’s not just some abstract statue - it’s an android. His android.

“Thud.” This step is lighter. Being cramped in a box can’t be good for anyone - even mechanical people, right? He’s probably still finding his footing.

Wiping his eyes, Kyungsoo stands straight up. He inspects himself and momentarily panics. He’s still covered in dirt and dust from unpacking the damn thing! For some reason, he feels weirdly underdressed for an introduction; he suddenly regrets not changing into a buttondown. Fear strikes him that his own robot will judge him for being sloppy - then he realizes how idiotic that is.

“Hello, master,” A husky voice says. Kyungsoo’s jaw drops. Oh my god, it’s happening. It’s really happening. As the journalist’s vision starts straightening out, he makes out the features of the mandroid in front of him. Broad shoulders precede a gorgeously toned body, covered in glowing, bronze skin.

The bot continues, flashing a friendly smile on soft, plush looking lips, “I am model J-zero-N-G-one-N, or, for ease’s sake: Jongin.” He, Jongin that is, steps closer. Kyungsoo’s eyes are probably bugging out at this point. He’s not sure where to look. The silky looking, deep chocolate brown hair? The row of peaks and valleys lining his stomach? Or maybe the bulging biceps of his veiny arms. Yes. Veiny. They gave an android realistic veins.

“Uh…” That’s all Kyungsoo can get out. He’d always been sorta shy with people. He thought for sure that an android would be different. It isn’t. It definitely isn’t. “Uh…” He feels like an idiot, pervertedly checking out his own fucking maid robot. What kind of a start to a new relationship is that?

“What would you like to be called?” The android didn’t seem to care. “If you have no preference, I can always stick to master. Or, perhaps your name is better? Mr. Do?”

Mr. Do can’t really respond. He’s too busy yelling at himself, repeating a very, very important mantra in his head:

Don’t look at his dick, don’t look at his dick, don’t look at his dick. Do not look at his dick. Don’t look at his dick, don’t look at his-

He looks at his dick. Not so much looks as stares, really. It’s like there’s a strong magnet pulling his eyes right in the general area of the robot’s crotch. Is there a reason for a general purpose maid bot to have such a… Such a beautiful looking, realistic dick? Kyungsoo supposes that’s what he’d shelled out the big bucks for.

Not the dick - the human-like realness, that is.

He can’t not look at it, not when it’s so- so supple and hangs so prettily down his perfectly muscled thigh. A little patch of hair adorns a patch above, running up into a barely-there happy trail. Oh no, Kyungsoo thinks. Oh this can’t be good.

“You can touch it, if you want,” A cool voice wrests Kyungsoo from his state of utter hypnosis.

“I- Wh- Wha-?” The journalist’s jaw flaps futilely. Maybe talking would be easier if blood was flowing to his brain, but it’s not. The uncomfortable pinching in the crotch of his sweats tells him that it definitely is not.

The bot - Jongin, Kyungsoo needs to remember that - looks down his body, a mischievous little smirk crossing those perfect, rosy lips, “My penis. Cock. Dick… I can call it whatever you want, master.” He chuckles.

Chuckling? Tricky little smiles? What the hell kind of maid is this?! Kyungsoo huffs, realigning his brain. Okay, so thinking is still a little hard (unlike his dick which is more than a little hard) - but that’s fine! It’s fine, things are totally fine. Collecting himself, Kyungsoo finally properly addresses the bot.

“Um, you can call… That… Whatever you want. I- I’m sorry I’m not, um, good with introductions, I, uh…” Yup, Kyungsoo thinks. Nailing it! He takes another steadying breath and finally talks like a normal person, “I’m Do Kyungsoo, but you can call me, um…” He realizes he’d never thought that far. What should he be called? Jongin is intended to be a companion, right? Can a genuine bond form when someone has to call the other person “master” all the time? Then again, do bots even care?

“Just call me whatever you like. Kyungsoo-hyung is fine, really. O-or even Kyungsoo…” He’s not sure where the social norms apply with bot companions. In his limited experience, the few who’d been granted a consort citizenship either followed human rules or were inherently subservient. Kyungsoo really doesn’t think of himself as the regency master type.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin says in a cooing tone. “Cute.”

“Uh, right,” Kyungsoo walks a strange line between horny and weirded out. He’d feel buyer’s remorse if the android hadn’t been such an investment. Fuck buyer’s remorse, that’s for people rich enough to not wallow in denial to justify their purchases. “Let me, um… I’m gonna get you something to. To wear. You just, you can walk around a bit. Try not to touch too many things, alright?”

Kyungsoo practically runs to his new bedroom, throwing up the light switch and slamming the door shut. Finally alone again, he sinks onto the ground a flurry of weird emotions smacking him in the face.

“Okay, okay, you can do this,” He tells himself. “You- you wanted this, dammit. I- We worked hard for this. We deserve this. We deserve unconditional companionship. So- so you go out there and make friends with this robot you chickenshit!” With that, he bursts up, fiery determination reignited within him. “We are going to make friends and- and we are going to get him clothes!”

He marches over to the duffle bag he’d thrown onto his mattress. He’d put all of his clothes into luggage for easier access - thank god. The journalist pulls out a tee and some shorts, hoping it’d do the trick. He entertains the idea of grabbing some underwear to contain that thing hanging between the droid’s legs but refrains. Something about loaning out underwear felt weird, even if it’s just a loaner pair for a robot.

Jongin is stretched across the couch when Kyungsoo returns. Despite his best efforts, Kyungsoo gawks. Again. The android looks stunning just casually laying on a piece of plain furniture. His toned arms hang lazily above his head, over the armrest, and one of his legs hangs off of the side while the other sticks up, butterflied out slightly. He’s basically saying “Hello human boss, here’s my robot junk, please look at it.”

Another wave of heat crashes down on Kyungsoo, but he reigns it in. It’s starting to frustrate him. He’s spent enough time getting his companion up and running - that means he’d lost precious unpacking time. The piles of boxes around him serve as a stark reminder that staring is for later. Maybe. Probably not? Kyungsoo isn’t sure what is and isn’t ethical in these situations, but he can’t really bring it upon himself to care. What he can do is tell the droid to put some damn clothes on.

“Here!” Kyungsoo tosses the bundle of clothes he’d grabbed toward the android. Jongin sits up, managing to snatch them out of the air with inhuman dexterity. He quirks a perfectly shaped, thick brow and looks at them curiously. “Clothes,” Kyungsoo elaborates.

“Oh, you want me to wear… These?” Jongin holds the tee in front of his face, eyes squinting as he observes it like it’s some foreign, unknown object.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo leaves out the “please” - he doesn’t want to sound desperate even though he really feels it.

“Oh- Okay,” Jongin shrugs, throwing the shirt on. It’s a bit small on him, but it’ll do. Kyungsoo had thought there’d been some programming with clothing included, but he figured he could check his concierge later. Apparently, clothes aren’t a default for this model. Weird.

Jongin stands up once he’s dressed, tilting his head curiously at the journalist.

“Awesome, now, follow me,” Kyungsoo waves the bot over, “We’re gonna start in the kitchen. Now, I have a system, so pay attention. It’s not super convenient to start, but it’s so efficient and organized in day to day life…”

“Damn, we’re making good time,” Kyungsoo beams at his kitchen. All of the dishes had already been unloaded which thrills Kyungsoo more than he thinks it should. Jongin’s tall frame and strength proved pretty damn useful. He can reach higher places without a ladder, and even the heaviest of boxes are nothing to him. For a maid bot, he’s not exactly intuitive about organization or cleaning, but Kyungsoo almost prefers it. He has fun being the boss and teaching the other the wonders of cleanliness. Once again, Kyungsoo realizes that he probably should not be as excited as he is about that kind of stuff.

“Yes!” Jongin nods in agreement, “So, after this…” He bites his lip in anticipation, looking at Kyungsoo expectantly.

Grinning ear to ear, Kyungsoo leans in, “We do the living room.”

Jongin blinks wordlessly for a moment, probably taking a moment to (literally) process. After a pregnant pause, the bot responds.

“Fun in the living room…” He muttered.

Kyungsoo nods emphatically, “Yeah, it’ll be super fun. Oh- I think I have a box of stuff we need in my bedroom, though. If you wanna just kind of start over there, you know- tidying a bit and organizing, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay!” Jongin flashes another winning smile, and Kyungsoo thinks he could definitely get used to this.

The journalist trots off excitedly. Living rooms are the center of the home - therefore, they’re the most satisfying to organize and decorate. His free-floating HUD TV is somewhere in the living room boxes, but he’d kept his gaming consoles separate, in his room. Those he’d driven in his car with this clothes - some of them are pretty old and he’s always nitpicky about how they’re treated. Carefully grabbing the luggage he’d padded and packed with consoles, he strode out to his living room, a spring in his step.

A jaunty tune leaves his lips as he hums happily. Moving with help is definitely easier. After the initial shock of having a (hot) robotic assistant had subsided, things went super smoothly. Jongin is almost too charming. It kind of shocks Kyungsoo, but at the same time, the bot’s easy to talk to. He smiles often and knows how to make a guy laugh. Something about being in the bot’s company is easy, therapeutic, even.

“Cool, so, these boxes actually aren’t too packed like the dish boxes,” Kyungsoo says, glancing at the half-dozen boxes sitting around his couch and TV console. “We can knock this out super fast and- Eh?”

He freezes. It’s like his life is a movie and somebody just hit pause. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what else to do, he’s like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide, body stiff, paralyzed in place. He’d been gone for, like, five seconds. Apparently, in that time, Jongin had shucked his shorts. It’s not just the shorts, either. Something is off about the shirt, too. It seems to have ridden up or something. Narrowing his eyes, Kyungsoo takes a closer look at the tee he’d given the android.

“Did you just cut my shirt?” He blurts out. Probably could’ve approached a bit less frankly, but seriously? Kyungsoo could see it, the rough hem, freshly sheared by scissors, no doubt. Jongin had, for some god forsaken reason, turned his t-shirt into a crop top. What the hell?

Kyungsoo can’t really be that mad about it. Not because it’s not upsetting, but because Jongin’s got some way more distracting stuff going on. With nothing covering his bottom, Jongin had gotten onto his knees and bent over, even spreading his legs. When he drinks the entire sight in, Kyungsoo feels super stupid for even making a comment about the shirt. Jongin is essentially prone, on the floor, in his living room (that they’re supposed to be cleaning, dammit).

“Hm?” Jongin tries to play coy, but apparently acting isn’t in his programming. He just comes across a bit shameless. The android arches his back, looking over his shoulder with a wanton expression. Yes, it’s wanton, no that is not Kyungsoo’s boner talking. Jongin speaks in a husky tone when he elaborates, “Sorry, it just looked dusty here, master.”

“What?” Kyungsoo is officially at a loss. SM Tech’s customer service will hear some very strong words when the entire moving ordeal is over - like one star review bad! (Okay, maybe two stars, because Kyungsoo’s not a monster and Jongin is high quality.)

Jongin’s tongue flicked out from his lips; he wiggles his hips ever so slightly, and the swinging of the member between his legs doesn’t go unnoticed by the flummoxed journalist. Kyungsoo blinks about two hundred times before he can choke out the same question again.

“Wh-What’s going on? What are you- what are you doing?” He asks, wondering when it got so hot in the living room.

“Master, it got really dusty here with you moving all of this stuff around. Why don’t you come over here and help me with it?”

“Where are your shorts?” Kyungsoo asks instead of dignifying the weird, robot flirtation with an answer.

“I dunno,” Jongin shrugs, “I tossed ‘em somewhere over there.”

“Why?”

“I look cuter without them, don’t you think?”

“I- I think you look fine with them.”

The android pouts, “Well, I like it better without them.” What the hell kind of bratty answer is that? Aren’t bots supposed to be helpful!?

Kyungsoo heaves a defeated sigh, “Fine, fine. As long as we get everything unpacked and organized, I don’t care what you do - or don’t wear.” He prays that placates the bot. Arguing about wardrobe is not how the journalist had anticipated spending his afternoon.

“What?” Jongin gets up on his knees and turns to face Kyungsoo, crossing his arms. The human immediately moves a hand to cover the bot’s lower half. He does not need to get sucked into that abyss again, nope. “What do you mean you don’t care?”

“Wh- Why does it matter? We have a job to do, don’t we? We can talk about more in-depth lifestyle stuff later. Right now, I just want us to get situated here-”

“Wait…” Jongin’s jaw drops, and his eyes narrow, “Are you… Are you actually serious?”

“Huh?”

“Are you… You seriously just want me to help you… Clean and- and organize?” The android asks in apparent disbelief.

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. He has to pause and think for a second. Did the maid bot really just ask if he was expected to… Clean? What he’d been purchased and programmed to do? His job?

“Uh… Yes?” Kyungsoo replies. He’s not sure what the android expects to hear. Maybe it’s all some obscure joke that he’s not quite in on. If that’s the case, he notes that androids have terrible senses of humor.

“Wh- But- but I-” Jongin, still in some sad place of utter confusion, gestures to himself repeatedly. “I- Look at me!”

“I- I am?” Kyungsoo neglects to mention that he’s trying to avoid seeing certain parts of the bot.

The bot demands more insistently,“Look. At. Me!”

Heaving a sigh, the human’s patience snaps. He did not sign up for this. He gets enough crap in day to day life - he wasn’t about to invite that same crap to live with him in his own home. If Jongin wants to call him master, Kyungsoo decides: he’ll act like a fucking master.

“Cover yourself,” Kyungsoo demanded.

“What?!” For some reason, the request outrages the android. Who knew they had such attitudes?

“I said, cover yourself. That’s an order from your m-master,” Okay, so fumbled execution on the “master” - but it’s a work in progress, Kyungsoo congratulates himself.

“Oh,” Jongin’s tone immediately changes. It swaps from whiny annoyance to almost a purr. “And… What if I don’t, master?”

Kyungsoo hadn’t thought that far. How is one supposed to discipline a naughty android? Were rogue droids a typical problem to have? How had life gotten so out of control over the course of a single afternoon?!

“You… Don’t… Want to find out,” Kyungsoo lies. Jongin can’t find out because not even Kyungsoo knows what the hell he’s talking about.

“Really?” Jongin asks, his voice entirely too low for Kyungsoo’s liking. “You won’t tell me how you’re gonna punish me?”

“N...o?”

“Guess I’ll have to be a very naughty boy to find out,” Jongin coos, hooking his fingers beneath the (newly chopped) hem of his (cropped) shirt.

“Why would you say that?” Kyungsoo scoffs. Jongin, in his own, stripperific world, ignores his “master”, dragging his shirt up just ever so slightly. Kyungsoo knows precisely what’s under there: beautiful, plush, perky, toned muscle. The kind that makes you want to latch on with your mouth like a damn leech and never let go. How does robot flesh taste, Kyungsoo wonders.

Nope, he halts his own perversion, nope, not today.

“Maybe I want master to come over here and punish me,” Jongin rides his shirt up a little more, “After all, I’ve been a bad- ow!”

Kyungsoo had panicked. He dropped his gaming bag and lunged for the nearest, throwable object he could reach. It turned out to be a boxcutter - probably not the best thing to throw at someone’s face. In his defense, that someone is a robot. He’s fine. Probably.

“What was that for?!” Jongin whines.

“What are you stripping for?!” Kyungsoo asks, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He doesn’t want to be unappreciative of eye candy, but he can only take so much. SM Tech is gonna have some serious explaining to do if this is the companion they’d matched with him as a maid bot.

“Are you serious?!”

“Yes, yes I am. Do you not see all of this ?” Kyungsoo waves madly to the boxes in the living room.

“Uh, do you not see all of this ?” Jongin mimics the other but gestures to his own body.

“Hard not to when you’re treating my living room - which is in shambles by the way - like a goddamn strip club!”

“Well, I am sorry for trying to explore some different ways to be sexy.”

“You should be sorry! Who tries to ‘explore’ sexiness when they are tasked with cleaning. I cannot sleep if I know there are still boxes out here. You are costing me sanity and pushing back the cleaning schedule!”

“Th- What are you talking about?! I wouldn’t need to explore anything if you just filled out your paperwork properly to tell me what you like. Or- or done the tutorial-”

“Fuck the tutorial! And- what do you mean ‘what I like’? Paperwork?! What the- I. Want. A. Clean. Home. And- and a nice companion. Not a nymphomaniac exhibitionist!”

“Once again, I would properly know your fetishes if you had done anything properly! Instead I’m just- just expected to step out and- and what? Be perfect for you? Know what you want?”

Kyungsoo feels like he’s on the precipice of absolute madness. What about this is so hard for a super intelligent android of all things to get? He even considers that maybe he’s the lunatic here, maybe he’s done something wrong. Except, whatever paperwork nonsense and “fetishes” Jongin’s babbling about aren’t even things Kyungsoo remembers reading or hearing about. Anybody who wants an SMT android has to go through extensive training and vetting. Missing paperwork is literally impossible with how thorough their system is.

“What. Paperwork?!”

“The- Oh my god,” Jongin pinches the bridge of his nose momentarily.

“I didn’t know you needed to know my fetishes to help me around the house!” Kyungsoo shrugs.

“Help you around th- What kind of an idiot invests in a highly sophisticated, one of a kind - beautiful, if I may add - sexbot to clean their house?!”

“I just wanted a maid- hold up, wait a minute,” Pause. Hold on just a second. Kyungsoo collects himself, reigning in his anger to replay the android’s words in his head.

“...Invests in a highly sophisticated, one of a kind… sexbot to clean their house…”

“Sophisticated, one of a kind, sexbot…”

Sexbot. Sex. Bot.

Sex robot. A robot. For sex.

“No, no,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. He laughs, because what else is there to do? That can’t be right, he thinks. He keeps telling himself, even saying it out loud: “That- that can’t be right. I- No, no, you’re a- you’re a maid bot.”

“I mean, I’m all for roleplay-”

“Shut up!” Kyungsoo cut Jongin off before he could spout more nonsense. He dashed toward the kitchen counter where’d thrown all of his papers. Manically, he rifles through them, scanning all of the documents to look for anything that indicated he’d received a metal prostitute.

“I- I, um- Jongin, what’s your model number… Thing again?”

Jongin heaves a heavy sigh, “The letter ‘J’ as in Jason, zero, the letter N as in Nancy-”

“Oh, no,” Kyungsoo’s pitch raises to almost a shrill, singsong tone. He’s not really sure what’s going on, only that he’s lost control of everything (his voice included). “Oh, no, no, no-”

“What?” Jongin gets off of his knees and starts striding toward Kyungsoo’s spot at the counter.

“No-” Kyungsoo sticks his hand out, “No, no. Horny naked robots stay over there.” He points to his couch, not bothering to look up from the documents he’s reading.

There it is, in black and white. Plain as day. Whether it’s invoice or a textual manual, it’s all the same thing. Every. Single. Piece. Of Paper. Denotes a very particular model of android:

B43K-Hyun Maidbot.

Every single one. Not one mentions anything even remotely close to Jongin. He’d signed for his package and even gone through the lengthy process of verifying his identity. Yet, by some freak turn of events, he’d managed to receive the wrong. Fucking. Android.

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo mutters.

“What is it?”

“Oh my god.”

“Wha-”

“You’re not my- my- you’re not my maid-bot,” Kyungsoo swears he’s on the brink of panicking; he rides that delicate line between “I’m so panicked I’m literally zen” and “I am going to jump into a volcano”.

“I’ve been trying to tell you, I’m not a maidbot-”

“I want to die,” Kyungsoo mutters.

“O-Okay, it’s, um, it’s not that-”

“Just one nice thing I wanted for myself,” The human huffs in exasperation, throwing his hands up. “One thing. Just wanted one thing to go right for me.”

“Hey, man, you got this nice house-”

“Just- just a nice, kind, reasonable, neat companion. That’s all. That’s it. It seemed- it seemed simple. I- I trusted those people and- and-”

“Hey!” Jongin shouts. Kyungsoo jumps, pulled out of his self-loathing soliloquy. “I…” His plush lips pout, and he looks to the ground sheepishly, “I can clean, you know.”

“Huh?”

“I- I’m obviously physically capable, you know? Like, I can clean. I just… I’m not designed to- to intuit that stuff. Organizing and- cleanliness and all that,” Jongin mumbles as he makes his case (still half naked all the while).

“Fine,” Kyungsoo takes the offer through gritted teeth. “Fine. Just. Just clean. No- no more stripper antics-”

“I’m keeping the shorts off,” Jongin cuts in.

“-And no more bending over, waving your ass in the air or- or I dunno. No more crazy shit. Just. Clean.”

“Fine, fine,” Jongin holds his hands up in defeat, “Though I can’t help it if I’m effortlessly captivating. I am designed to be irresistible.”

“Jongin.”

“What? I mean I’m, like, way more expensive than those maid models anyways. You should be hyped. I don’t know what you paid, but trust me, I am a steal.”

“You’re a steal?” Kyungsoo asks dryly. Now hardly seems like the time to make boasts.

“Hell yeah,” Jongin’s chest puffs up with pride, “I mean- I was seriously sought after. Though, now that I think about it… If I got swapped with some maidbot…”

“With my maidbot?”

Jongin rolls his eyes, continuing, “I’m just saying… Whoever got your bot… Well, I feel bad for them. Whatever companion they got likely has a fraction of the customizability and functionality I do. They have got to be pissed…”

“-re you still there Mr. Park?” The customer service lady asks.

“Yes,” Park Chanyeol says. Even though he’s pissed, he tries not to sound too pissed. He knows these people are just doing their jobs.

“Thank you for staying on the line with us. I’ve brought up your contract with us, and it appears that your model J-zero-N, G-one-N has arrived.”

“I-” Chanyeol inhales sharply, clenching his fists rapidly. Behind him there’s a certain someone milling about, straightening things on his bookshelf. “I have told you all many times that my- my model J-zero-N, G-one- Jongin! My Jongin is not what arrived on my doorstep today.”

“Are you certain, Mr. Park? It says in our record that the delivery was signed for. Did you not receive a shipment from our facilities?”

“I- I did receive an android. It just- It wasn’t the right one-”

“BRRRRRRR!” Thunderous, loud vacuuming suddenly fills the apartment.

“What was that?” Chanyeol hears faintly on the other side of the line. The slender bot in his living room vacuums dutifully, even bouncing along with a hummed tune as he runs the machine across the carpet.

“I said-” Chanyeol raises his voice to yelling, “-I did not receive the correct bot! Though all of my paperwork says I received a Jongin, I received a- a… Just a moment, please.” The tall brunette turns to the little droid cleaning his carpet and yells, “Shut that off for a second!”

“BRRRRRRrrrr- brr…” The vacuum turns off with a whistling wheeze noise, and the android handling it turns to Chanyeol with a quirked eyebrow.

“What’s your model thing again?” Chanyeol asks.

“I am a B-four-three-K Hyun maidbot!” The bot says obligingly. “Baekhyun, for the sake of ease.”

“I have a Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says into his phone.

“I’m sorry, that’s not a name that follows our system for identifying model-”

“He is a B-four-three-K Hyun model!”

“Oh! A B-four-three-K Hyun! Thank you for clarifying. Just one moment, please. Can you hold?”

“Wait, can’t you just-”

“Click!” The line cuts, transitioning into a soft, diluted jazz-esque tune. The hold song. The same one he’d already spent a cumulative hour or so listening to.

“Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud…”

“Master, what are you doing?” Baekhyun pipes up from the living room.

“Thud. Thud. Thud…”

Chanyeol doesn’t answer. Instead, he keeps hitting his head against his desk praying that maybe, just maybe it’ll result in a nice, easy death.

“M-Master, is this because of what I did earlier?” Baekhyun asks timidly.

“No, Baekhyun, I am not attempting a slow, sad death because you smacked me in the face,” He sighs in defeat. Chanyeol, perhaps a bit overexcited for the arrival of his sexbot, had maybe groped Baekhyun at some point shortly after their introductions. Apparently, maidbots are not programmed to take unwanted attention lightly. So much for Asimov’s first law.

“Thud. Thud. Thud…”

“Master, you’ll hurt yourself if you keep doing that,” Baekhyun chides.

“God I hope so,” Chanyeol grumbles. It’s not that Baekhyun is offensively bad. He’s actually pretty damn cute; the bot is slender tall, and has adorable facial features. Except, Chanyeol hadn’t paid an ungodly sum of cash for a cute, slender, tall maidbot. He’d paid for a highly customizable model, specializing in just about every sexual deed and misdeed a person could think of.

Needless to say, receiving Baekhyun came as a shock.

“Hey, Master?”

“What is it, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol lifts his head with a heavy sigh. He gives up on the slow, head banging death thing. He’s got a feeling it won’t keep, and quite frankly he’d like to see SM Tech burn down before departing the mortal realm.

“Do you have a stepstool so I can reach the cobwebs up there?” The droid asks.

Chanyeol sighs. Is he pissed that he received something significantly cheaper and drastically different than what he’d ordered? Of course. Did he hold that against the droid himself? Not really. It’s gotta suck to show up some place and feel unwanted. So maybe Chanyeol didn’t appreciate getting smacked in the face for a friendly squeeze of the ass. Once they’d gotten past that, the maidbot and man relationship had blossomed beautifully.

Baekhyun cleans things. Chanyeol doesn’t. It works!

Plus, the “master” in question has to concede: the place does look nice.

“Kyungsoo-hyung!” Jongin’s voice echoes down the hallway. Kyungsoo had been refining thing sin the living room. The boxes had gotten emptied pretty quickly, but he’d wanted to place some stuff himself. After narrowly avoiding a complete meltdown, Kyungsoo had opted to wait a bit before calling SM Tech about their monumental fuckup. His logic is that a day won’t make much of a difference anyways; he’d rather get things done than spend the entire afternoon and evening on the phone, angry while accomplishing little to nothing.

With the majority of the living room knocked out, that leaves Kyungsoo’s bedroom. The human had sent the bot away as soon as possible. Shocking absolutely noone, Jongin proved to be distracting, even in his earnest attempt to be helpful. Just the mere presence of the bot draws Kyungsoo’s attention, whether he likes it or not. The curves of his body, the beautiful tone of his muscles, and his glowing skin… It hard not to look.

“What’s up?” Kyungsoo hollers back, nudging his antique copy of “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” into place.

“I got your sheets all done! And your little stuff is on the dresser, like you said!”

Kyungsoo sighs, eyeing the shelf of books on his TV console. Everything looks good enough - at least for the interim. Refined details can be determined later, he decides.

“Cool, I’ll be right there,” The human answers, hoisting himself up off of the ground. Things are coming together pretty quickly! It helps that he doesn’t have a lot of stuff, but still. He’s optimistic about getting everything done before midnight. With moving out of the way, it’ll free up time for what will probably be a lengthy call with SM, too. Excellent! Things kind of suck, but only kind of! He’s managing! Things are going okay! This is fine, Kyungsoo keeps telling himself. This is fine. Things are going to be

Naked. On the bed.

Kyungsoo freezes and his eyes widen.

Jongin had, in fact, put the sheets on like he’d asked. Actually, the bot hadn’t done too bad a job. The covers look perfectly smooth, and the pillows look fluffy, stacked symmetrically on either side. Kyungsoo feels like he’d appreciate it a lot more without the naked sexbot sprawled out on top of his covers.

Except, apparently, things can’t go okay for more than ten minutes for Kyungsoo. After all, why would things go right for him when, instead, he can have horny robots spreading their legs on his clean sheets?

Kyungsoo swallows hard. It’s happening again. He feels the gravitational pull of Jongin’s beauty suck him into a lecherous vortex.

The android had shed his homemade crop top, leaving him completely bear. He lays back nonchalantly, an arm resting under his head, stretching out his beautiful pecs, pits, and triceps. The other hangs by the side of his body, and Kyungsoo can’t help but notice the way the tip of his fingers just barely dips toward his inner thigh. Fuck.

Then, of course, there’s the centerpiece: his beautiful cock. It hangs between his legs, veins lining the girth. Kyungsoo’s tongue darts out from between his lips. Heknows fuck all about what goes into designing robots, but he hopes whoever created Jongin gets a massive raise. The android is stunning beyond words. He’s so effortlessly beautiful even when all he’s doing is laying there, seemingly half asleep (can robots be half asleep?).

Kyungsoo’s never been with an android, and his curiosity is starting to turn obsessive. He wants to run his fingers down the flawlessly muscled torso, to grope his pecs and flick his tongue across his brown nipples. What would it feel like? And, god, that cock, he wants to bury it so deep inside him that he can’t fucking breathe anymore. He wants to fuck himself on it until his legs go numb or choke on it until he’s a drooling, crying mess.

“Wh-What are you doing?!” Kyungsoo shouts annoyedly, snapping out of his lusty daze.

“What? I did what you asked,” Jongin pouts, stretching out more (and torturing Kyungsoo more). “See? Nice and tight, like you said.” He pats the sheets, using the double entendre to refer to how pristinely his bed had been made.

“Why are you naked?!” Kyungsoo crosses his arms, pretending he doesn’t feel the blood rushing to his crotch.

“I’m resting,” The android antagonizes the human even more, tucking both of his hands behind his head and spreading his legs even more widely open. Kyungsoo can just slightly see the cleft of the android’s ass from the angle, and his tongue actually twitches inside his mouth from how bad he wants to run it along the android’s perineum.

Cleaning, Kyungsoo tells himself. This is about cleaning, dammit.

“Why didn’t you just- just ask me to do something else? Why didn’t you keep your clothes on?!”

“Kyungsoo-hyung,” Jongin whines, “We’ve been working so much already. We’ve already knocked out so much of your stuff, and the sun’s just started setting. Can’t we take a break?”

“I prefer to get things done and then rest.”

“Oh come on. All work and no play makes Kyungsoo-hyung a dull boy.”

“There will be time for play later,” Kyungsoo replies with gritted teeth. Hearing Jongin refer to him as hyung is weird; he’s not sure how he feels about it. Even though it’s formal, the way it lilts off of Jongin’s tongue sounds so casual and flirty, it almost sounds worse than “master”.

“No,” Jongin protests, lazily turning over. With a yawn, he stretches again, arching his back and displaying his (gorgeous, delicious looking) ass brazenly to his master. “Play with me now,” He whines again.

The offer is more tempting than Kyungsoo wants to admit. He could skip dinner and go straight for dessert, diving into that perky, supple ass of his. Would it wiggle when spanked? How does it taste?

“I see the look in your eyes,” Jongin teases. “Come on,” He beckons Kyungsoo with a finger playfully.

“I’m going to finish the living room,” Kyungsoo chokes out the words as sweltering heat burns his face. “Y-you just. Stay there.”

“Kyungsoo-hyung, play with me-”

“Stay! Just- just stay away from me!” Kyungsoo waves a disapproving fever fervently at the android before storming off. He can feel his pants tent uncomfortably and feels forever grateful that Jongin either hadn’t seen or chose not to say anything.

Not today, Satan. Not today.

“What would you like for dinner, master?” Baekhyun asks from the kitchen. Chanyeol scoops his head up from its place on his desk.

He’d been on and off of hold for hours now. Literal hours. Every time his queue pops for the game he’s playing, the SM rep conveniently returns. The half dozen or so people he’s spoken to all say the same thing: you received your bot, are you satisfied with your bot, it was signed for, no returns or exchanges. Chanyeol, in his desperation, has started scrolling web pages for tombstones.

“I- I don’t know?” Chanyeol wasn’t prepared for a question like that. Dinner? The bot’s making him dinner? He supposes that is a maid-like thing to do. It’d just never occurred to him that a robot would offer since they don’t attain sustenance the same way humans do. “Improvise?”

“Alright!” Baekhyun replies obligingly. At least one thing is going smoothly. Baekhyun’s a bit obtuse and clumsy (he’d knocked a few things over) but he’s a doll.

“--Click!” “Hello, Mr. Park?”

“Yes, yes that’s me! I’m here!” Chanyeol sits up, not caring that he sounds pathetically desperate. At this point he just wants some kind of compensation or an admission of wrongdoing.

“Hello, so we’re looking at your order and it appears you got your J-zero-N-”

“Yes, the Jongin bot, I’m aware of what the documents say,” Chaneyeol’s face falls into a snarl. Even though the person on the other end of the line can’t see him, he hopes they can feel his glaring.

“However, you seem to have had a mixup? What’s the mixup here?”

Chanyeol heaved a heavy sigh, repeating the same script he’d been reading off of all day:

“I received a B-four-three-K Hyun maidbot. However, it appears that the only way to discern the error is in the physical goods and the console. All accompanying paperwork has this unit listed as the J-zero-N model.”

“I see… I see… Hm… You see, Mr. Park, let me level with you-”

“Please, do,” Chanyeol groans.

“-Ha, yes. I understand this is frustrating. As you know, once a customer has undergone the validation and introduction process, the android can no longer be returned or exchanged for compensation.”

“So I’m told…”

“However, if we can receive definitive proof of some sort of misplacement, we may be able to arrange some other sort of compensation such as extra credits for other SM Tech products or companion mods.”

Compensation! There it is! The magic word! However, of course, the burden of proof is on the customer - not them.

“Right. How would I, um, prove the mix up, then?”

“I…” The phone rep sighs. There’s a brief pause, and when they start speaking again, their voice is lower - a whisper almost, “The company doesn’t obligate us to walk you through this process, but there is a way to prove the wrong unit turned up at your home.”

“Oh?” Now Chanyeol’s interested. He quirks an eyebrow, intrigue dripping from his tone as he responds, “I’m listening.”

“If you are not aware - many customers aren’t - there is a locator chip installed every single one of our SM Tech companions. While all models contain them, only higher end packages have them unlocked for owner use - otherwise they’re installed for emergency and insurance purposes.”

“O-Okay,” Chanyeol nods, glancing at Baekhyun who’s skimming the pantry. “So, um, the B-three-four-K Hyun maidbot. Is that one unlocked?”

“It is not unlocked by default, but… Hm. The system still has your model listed as the J-zero… So I can’t unlock it on my end without going into another client’s file which is not doable…”

“No, no of course, of course, um… Can androids activate their beacon thing?”

“Why yes, they can - if under duress, any model can unlock it of their own volition.”

“Oh! Well then- Why- Hey Baekhyun! C’mere!” Chanyeol beckons the android over. The maidbot sets down a couple of packets of ramyun, pacing over to the taller man.

“Yes, master?” He asks.

“Baekhyun, can you, like, activate your homing beacon thing?”

“Uh… The anti-theft emergency one? The one that pings my location?”

“Yeah, sure, that one!”

“W-well, if that’s what you want…”

“Good! It doesn’t automatically call the police, does it?” Chanyeol nibbles on his lip nervously.

“No, sir.”

“Nice- Did you hear that? My android’s gonna activate the beacon!” The human says into his phone.

“Excellent,” They respond, still hushed, “I should be able to locate them, then. We can cross reference the android location with your location. Once the beacon is activated, we can look at a location histogram and ascertain that you had not stolen this model, but it had been initially delivered.”

“Nice!” Chanyeol clapped, overcome with the bliss of sweet victory. “And then what?”

“And then, well…”

Uh oh, Chanyeol’s enthusiasm fizzles out; that doesn’t sound good.

“Well what?”

“Well, we still are not able to take back androids unless you intend to donate them to the repurposing cause…”

“Repurposing” is a nice way SM and other android manufacturers say “scrapping” or, the human equivalent: killing. Just hearing the word makes Chanyeol’s heart sink to his feet. Most unwanted bots are adopted out, fostered, or put into work. It’s not necessarily the nicest thing, but when the alternative is culling an intelligent consciousness, most people opt to just move their androids along.

It’s not like Chanyeol had wanted Baekhyun, but the thought of just shipping him off to get scrapped down or sending him to some home or work camp… It didn’t sit right with him. Chanyeol frowns, letting out an exasperated breath.

“He’s mine now,” Chanyeol says, a concession of defeat.

“I apologize profusely on behalf of SM Tech for this massive inconvenience. Though we cannot do anything about the android in your possession, I think we can arrange some financial compensation for the difference in your expenses.”

“Oh?” Money? Chanyeol likes the sound of that. He figures it’s the least he deserves. He’d shelled out a pretty penny for a fancy model and gotten one that - while adorable - did not have all the bells and whistles.

“There’s another compensation I would like to propose as well,” The associate on the phone says.

“Hm?”

“Well, given the… Companion type you had originally wanted, I believe we can at least in part install some of that functionality in the model you house now.”

“I’m, um, I’m sorry. Can you explain that further?”

“Mr. Park, do you know anything about our android mods?”

“Yes, of course,” Chanyeol nods. Android modifications are all the rage nowadays. Most people prefer getting a more bland model and modding it to their liking than getting something with in-built customization like Chanyeol had wanted. He prefers the one of a kind, unique thing - plus, the thought of modding a droid and failing terrifies him; hence the massive splurge. Figures, he thinks. He’s modding anyways.

“The model you have happens to be compatible with an SM developed mod that may interest you.”

“Is that gonna cost extra?” Chanyeol groaned. Most premier developer mods did.

“In your circumstance, no. It is the least we can do to remedy this grievous situation.”

“O-okay, fine. Um, what is it? What’s the mod?”

“Have you heard about our brand new Naughty Maid mod?”

Kyungsoo frowns. He’s been wiping the same section of the kitchen counter for twenty minutes. He is, in fact, tired, but it’s not just that. Guilt hangs heavily in his chest. What business does he have scolding Jongin like that? At the end of the day, he’s just doing what he’s been hard-wired to do. So, okay, maybe he’s a bit bratty, but he did help when he probably could’ve just noped out and gone back into his box. And the human knows he wasn’t exactly nice either - throwing insults at him and such. He’d straight up told the android to stay away from him; he’d yelled it.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kyungsoo whispers to himself. The truth is, he sorta knows, he just hates saying it is all. Kyungsoo and people had never quite mixed. He’d let people in a few times, but in the end they’d burned him in one way or another. After awhile he just decided to keep his distance. He’s got a few friends, and he does love them, but at the end of the day, he feels safest on his own.

Of course, nobody can live alone forever, right? An android companion seemed liked the perfect fix for that. He thought maybe humans were the problem, but an android, that would be different. They’d give him all the companionship he needed without all the mess humanity promised. Or so he’d thought.

Apparently, even non-humans spooked him, too. Though, in his defense, the droid has spent half his time out of the box mostly nude.

Feeling bad, Kyungsoo decides he can try to extend an olive branch of sorts. He’s not sure what that entails, but heading to the room is a start. He thinks maybe an apology is in order, and they can start sorta fresh. Or something.

“Knock. Knock.” Kyungsoo raps on the doorframe lightly, bracing himself for the sight of a very beautiful, very naked man.

“Hey, can we ta- what the hell are you doing?” Well, that olive branch burned up real quick. Kyungsoo’s mouth falls open with disbelief as he watches Jongin rifle through a shoebox of old pictures. The android lays on his side - still very naked, of course - fingering the photos idly.

“Huh?” Jongin acknowledges Kyungsoo with a quirked eyebrow.

“What the hell are you doing?! I- I never said you could unpack those things,” He crosses his arms indignantly.

“I got bored,” The droid answers with a shrug, like his lack of stimulation is an excuse for invading someone’s privacy.

“Wha- You are snooping through my stuff. I- What kind of a robot snoops?!”

“Uh, a bored one. Duh.”

“Okay, you know what? No. Nope, nope, put those down you just-” Frustrated, Kyungsoo hops onto his bed, scuttling over toward the uncaring, inconsiderate ho-bot. “Give those back to me.”

“Ah-ah. See, before I was kinda bored, but now I’m curious,” Jongin teases, sitting up so he can hold the pictures further away.

“I promise you there is nothing to be bored about, I just-” A short arm reaches out to no avail; Kyungsoo curses his genetics for granting him short arms. “Hey!”

“Hmm,” Jongin chuckles, withdrawing a photo with his free hand. “Let’s see this one- Whoa. Cute!” He laughs, his face scrunching up adorably and his shoulders shaking (not that Kyungsoo noticed or anything).

“Give that back!”

“What is with this buzz cut, though? Military enlistment?”

“Just- put it down-”

“Don’t worry, it’s cute. You’re really cute, you know.”

“I-” Heat rushes to Kyungsoo’s cheeks and ears, “Shut up!”

“Hmm… Let’s look at another one. How about… Oh, this is fun. Are you dressed up as a… Gnome?”

“That was for a play!”

“Hmm… Okay, then- Whoa, who is this?” Jongin gasps, taking out another picture. “Whoa, he’s cute. And tall . What’s his name?”

“That’s- that’s nobody. It’s nobody,” Kyungsoo finally manages to win out and snatch away a picture. He glances down at the old, grainy photo. Just looking at it makes his stomach stir with sickness.

“Oh, crap is that, like, an ex?” Jongin’s voiced softened, dropping his teasing tone completely. “I’m- I’m sorry I didn’t know. That’s insensitive of me-”

“He’s not an ex,” Kyungsoo clarifies bitterly. He looks down at the picture of him and a tall, slender guy. They were still teenagers back then. Kyungsoo still remembers how small he felt when those long arms wrapped around his shoulders or waist.

A small frown crosses Jongin’s lips, and he lets drops the box of photos gently on the bed, giving his full attention to the human,“Then why do you seem so…”

“We never, um, got that far, I guess. I dunno I… I don’t know. It was years ago, really,” Kyungsoo tosses the picture carelessly aside. It’s not like that man in particular still has something on him. He’d cried and cried and cried over him for years. It’s not about the person, but something about the entire situation still leaves a hollow in Kyungsoo’s chest.

“What happened?” Jongin asks. Kyungsoo ventures a look at the android, and their eyes meet. Weirdly enough, despite being mechanical, a glint of human warmth glows behind his jarringly realistic eyes. Those SM Tech people are good, Kyungsoo thinks to himself.

“I… It’s really not a big deal, um-”

“Oh, come on. What’ve you got to lose? Do you think I’m gonna judge you? I mean I’m an expensive sex toy, who am I to judge people who’ve lived full lives with genuine experiences?”

Kyungsoo opens his mouth, and he almost retorts with “you’re more than just a sex toy” but he stops himself. The human can’t help pitying the robot when he so glibly lays out his reality like that. Instead of pitying the other, he decides to indulge the bot instead.

“We, um, we were close friends. There used to be a bunch of us we were like… Like a wolf pack.”

“But…?” Jongin quirks an eyebrow, anticipating the part of the story where everything turns to shit.

Kyungsoo sighs, “But, well… Things happen. People change. He and I - that guy in the picture - we, um… It’s- it’s not even a thing-”

“Shut up. Entertain me,” Jongin demands childishly. The stupidity manages to alleviate some of the pressure mounting on the human’s shoulders.

“He and I we… Always talked about how one day we’d pick up and leave this place. We made plans, we were so serious,” A wry chuckle leaves Kyungsoo’s lungs. “It was gonna be me and him versus the world, following our dreams, taking on the world. He was a musician, me a chef. We were gonna leave and never look back. Maybe change our names, even.”

“Sounds criminal.”

“Yup, totally,” The journalist laughs a little more at the dumb jab. It’s a tiny happiness, like a single flower in a field of grass, but he gladly plucks it nonetheless.

“And how did this story end?”

“Well… He did it. He actually did it. He picked up and left, without a damn trace. I mean- we knew he was alive- still is alive. He wasn’t that shady, but… He just left town one day. Didn’t even say goodbye. He went off and- and chased that dream. Our dream, except… It was just his, I guess.”

Suddenly, a strong arm loops around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, squeezing him close. The human tenses up for a second, and his eyes blow wide open. He’s about two seconds away from clapping the bot in the face for hitting on him until he realizes that the gesture is genuine. Jongin gives Kyungsoo’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze - a simple, chaste gesture. There’s no implicit wiggle of the eyebrows or lewd comment, no whiny demands or requests. Just a wordless gesture of comfort.

“Did you love him?”

“I- I don’t know.” It feels weird to say that, Kyungsoo thinks. For a long time, he’d convinced himself that it was love between them, but was it really? “We were really young, to be honest. I think I was in love with him, but, like… Teenage love, you know? Oh, wait- I- I’m sorry, I guess you don’t, um-”

“It’s okay,” Jongin chuckles.

“Right. I guess… I think looking back on him and, like, his behavior… I projected who I wanted him to be on to him. He wasn’t a bad person, I don’t think, but looking back at it with a more sober view, he was just… Different? I guess. And, I was kind of needy, too...”

“If it wasn’t love, why are you so... I mean- why does this picture bother you?” Jongin asks. There’s no particular emotion outlining his tone. He doesn’t sound judgmental or upset or like he’s teasing. He just sounds curious. Kyungsoo briefly wonders if it has something to do with the limits of his emotional abilities. Or maybe he’s just a nosy shit.

“I mean- I… Well, okay I may have held onto that thing for… A lot longer than I should have.”

“Okay.”

“And… I dunno. Like, um… Sometimes, when you live a human life, things teach you about yourself - stuff you didn’t know before. I think what hurts the most is- is what I learned from that entire event - the non-breakup - is that, well…” Kyungsoo isn’t sure why it’s so hard to put his feelings into words, but he wants to so badly. He’d never really fleshed the entire thing out in words before. All of his close friends had been around since then. Even his parents had some sort of personal stake or opinion on the matter. “I learned things about myself that I didn’t like.”

“Oh. Is that why you’re so cold?”

“Wh- I’m not cold!” The pleasantness was nice while it lasted. Kyungsoo’s face scrunches into an expression of displeasure.

“I’m serious! You definitely come across a bit cooly. Like you don’t want people near. Why? Are you afraid they’ll break your heart? You’ll know sides of yourself you don’t like?”

“Shut up, I didn’t buy you for psychotherapy,” Kyungsoo huffs, lightly shoving the other away.

“You didn’t buy me at all,” Jongin corrects. “You wanted a maid. But here I am.” He gestures to his body, “You’re welcome.”

“I- Wh- No!” Kyungsoo, in spite of his better judgment, ends up following Jongin’s hands down his body. All the bitter memories he’d been ruminating on burn up, turned into fuel for the flames licking his insides. “N-no. Shut up!” He tries to distance himself before pitching yet another tent in his pants.

“You know what you need?” Jongin prods even more, tickling Kyungsoo teasingly.

“The last thing I want to know is what you think I need,” He retorts.

“You need fun,” The droid elaborates anyways.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “Uh-huh.”

“I’m serious!” Jongin bursts upright, grabbing Kyungsoo’s hands, “When’s the last time you did something fun?”

“Stop talking like you know my entire life. We met hours ago!”

“Okay, but… Am I wrong?”

“I-” The journalist pouts for a second. Okay, so maybe he does kind of stay in a lot. Perhaps he forgets to text his friends for days at a time and, just maybe, he’s cancelled plans out of a lack of willpower to go outside. But, like, it’s not that bad! He has fun in his own way! His job is fun! He gets to go to restaurants of all kinds and write about them; judging people and their food is almost too fun.

“See, that’s the ‘he’s right’ look you’ve got on your face.”

“No, it’s not, shut up!”

“Come on, play with me,” Jongin shakes Kyungsoo’s hands as he whines. “Play with me, it’ll be fun!”

“I- I still have stuff to organize-”

“You’re lying! Is that what you do to your friends, too? Do you lie and say you’re busy when you’d really just rather stay at home?”

“No!” Yes, he thinks. “Well, I mean… Everyone does it sometimes, but-”

“Ah-ha!” Jongin sounds way too satisfied at being right, and Kyungsoo questions who the hell had the bright idea to make an android with sass. “Play with me, come on. It’ll be fun!”

“Seriously? What are you, a child?”

“Why, you into ageplay?” The sexbot quirks an eyebrow which makes Kyungsoo terrified to think: he’s seriously asking that question.

“Jesus- No. Do not call me daddy. Can I do that? Can I, like, blacklist words?”

“Soft ban, yes. Hard block? Not via verbal command.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo answers, unamused. “Wait- So I can actually like… Police what you say?” Getting Jongin to shut the hell up? Now that’s a prospect that the journalist finds appealing.

Jongin sulks, crossing his arms in front of his (absolutely gorgeous) chest, “Y-yeah…” He says, sounding dejected.

Kyungsoo’s mouth falls into a frown, and he immediately feels another dagger of guilt stab him. Way to be tactful, he chides himself. It can’t be pleasant knowing your free will can be stripped at the whims of some fickle human. It quickly occurs to him that joking about it is kind of a dick move - to put it lightly.

The human makes an attempt at an apology, “S-sorry, that was, um-”

“No, no, it’s, um, it’s fine,” Jongin cuts him off. His chocolate brown eyes fall onto the blanket under him, like the generic chevron print of the duvet is the most interesting thing in the world. “I’m supposed to be your ideal companion. I’m actually the most customizable android SM has developed. You’re entitled to alter me any way you see fit- encouraged to, even.”

“I-” Kyungsoo sighs. How did he end up in a situation like this? How did he go from excited owner of a new(ish) home to having a heart to heart with a sexy naked robot on his bed? “I don’t want you to change.” The words kinda drop without him thinking, and for some reason, they embarrass the hell out of the human. Heat prickles his cheeks and ears, and he screams to himself internally: what the hell was that?! What is this, a chick flick?

Apparently, the unintentionally corny line totally enraptures Jongin, and he perks back up to his obnoxiously adorable yet sexy self in seconds.

“Really?” The bot asks hopefully.

“Don’t- don’t get too excited,” The human immediately tries to do damage control.

“So you do like me. Even though you didn’t order me-”

“Wh- Did you think I didn’t like you?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, you were pissed when you found out I wasn’t your maidbot…” The android chuckles sheepishly.

“Of course I was pissed. I went through a lengthy process to- to get something and I got something completely different. That doesn’t mean it’s like… Personal.”

“You keep sending me away like you don’t want to see me.”

“You keep stripping,” Kyungsoo answers bluntly.

“No offense, but your clothes are pretty frumpy. They do nothing for my body, I had to intervene.”

“Did you? Did you, really?!”

“How else am I supposed to get you to play with me? I’m happy to help around your house, but, well…” Jongin looks Kyungsoo up and down, and the human immediately gets a bad feeling looming over his head.

“Well, what?”

“Well, you go on about how I wasn’t what you expected… Maybe you weren’t what I expected!”

“Oh boy,” Kyungsoo just prepares himself, he has the ill feeling that nothing he says is gonna stop Jongin from blabbing about his android woes.

“I am the most stunning, high tech, state of the art model that SM Tech has ever developed. Do you know what I’m capable of?”

“No…?”

“No, you don’t! And- and you didn’t even bother to see, either! I saw the compact concierge thrown on top of a box-”

“It’s on the kitchen counter now-”

“I am making an effort to- to be a good companion, but what about you?! You don’t even know a- a fraction of...”

Kyungsoo feels guilty. Really, really guilty. Not because of what Jongin’s saying or anything.  Maybe the droid’s words would affect him if Kyungsoo was actually listening. Except, the human isn’t. His eyes maybe kind of sorta… Drifted a bit. He can see the android passionately making his case, his arms whipping and waving around animatedly as he lays out his woeful sexbot manifesto. However, the words aren’t exactly hitting his ears - they’re sort of muffled instead, dulled. The magnet in Jongin’s dick had once again pulled in Kyungsoo’s eyes, and it shows no sign of releasing its beguiling hold any time soon. His tongue even darts out from between his lips again - woops. God, does he want to close them around that beautiful, thick cock. Jongin’s got a bigger build, too; Kyungsoo can’t help but think about how big that cock would feel in his hands - how little Jongin would make him feel wrapped around him, on top of him.

“...nd you can’t even find it in your heart to give me something cute to wear-”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo blurts out. He’d said it before even thinking about it - about even speaking or verbalizing anything.

“Wh- Really?” Jongin’s impassioned expression of indignation fell into one of puzzlement, “W-wait, fine what?”

“F-Fine, I”ll… Play with you,” Kyungsoo wonders if he’s having an out of body experience because he absolutely did not just say that. Right? “If- If it’ll shut you up, I’ll just, um-”

“Finally!” Jongin hops up again (his heavy looking dick swinging with his body) and claps, “Oh- Oh lemme get the concierge- trust me! You’re gonna have so much fun!”

“O-Oka-” The human can’t even finish his affirmative response before the android bolts off of the bed to grab the concierge tablet thing. “Oh, no.” Kyungsoo mutters to himself.

Like a boisterous puppy, Jongin bursts back in with a cheeky smile, tossing the tablet at Kyungsoo as he jumps back onto the bed. The less than coordinated journalist practically sends the tablet flying across the room but saves it in the nick of time.

“Alright,” Kyungsoo bites his lip nervously, looking dubiously at the android who’d taken a neat, criss cross sitting position across the bed. “Okay, let me, um… Start this thing, I guess.” With a nervous sigh, he taps the tablet.

Immediately, the screen lights up, the text across it reading: “Welcome to your compact concierge. Please verify your identity…” Kyungsoo follows the prompts like he had before, grateful that the tablet doesn’t require nearly as much setup as the box did.

“Oh- Oh god, menus- menus!” Kyungsoo exclaims when the thing finally hits it’s main screen. Jongin wasn’t kidding: there are a ton of options. Like. A ton. Kyungsoo taps one, and dozens of little options shoot out from the little icon. “What the…”

“You really shouldn’t skip the tutorial,” Jongin says matter of factly.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, “Whatever. I’ll, um, figure it out. Okay… Looks like a lot of this is, um, psycho… Logical? Oh god- There’s a lot under temperament. And traits? Is that different- What are these…”

“Honestly, that’s the stuff that gets complicated,” The android waves dismissively, “That’s not really fun, anyways. I mean, there are some presets that just embellish on my latent personality - like roleplay, kind of. You should start with those.”

“Um… Okay?” Kyungsoo has a bad feeling about it - the word “roleplay” highkey terrifies him - but he abides. He’s been sort of a prick and, honestly? The distraction is welcome. Maybe messing around with settings and customization will keep his eyes away from the black hole that bot calls a dick.

The human navigates to a tab called “Psyche Presets: Accessory Temperaments”. He’s glad he’s a damn journalist, otherwise half the language used would probably confound him. SM sure loves big words, apparently. Without really looking, he taps the first thing he sees. What’s the worst that can happen? Trial and error has yet to get Kyungsoo killed; he figures it won’t fail him in this endeavor. Most likely.

A gasp sounds out from the other side of the bed, and Kyungsoo immediately regrets his life decisions.

“What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?” Jongin asks breathily.

Kyungsoo looks over with a look of utter horror on his face. Jongin looks absolutely enchanted, as if he’s just seen the meaning of life or a trillion dollars laid out just for him. Uh-oh.

“Wh… What did you just say to me?” The human asks.

“I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again,” The android practically begs, clutching his heart.

Kyungsoo’s eyes dart to his tablet to see highlighted in the list is the selection: “Shakespearean Romance”.

“Nuh-uh,” The human grunts, immediately scrolling to pick something - anything - other than what he’d just selected.

Timidly, Jongin leans forward to reach toward Kyungsoo, “Mine ear is much enamored of thy no-”

“Shut up. No, it’s not,” Kyungsoo kicks the other’s hand away as he taps something else blindly.

Jongin pauses, blinking rapidly for a few seconds, and Kyungsoo’s shoulders sag with relief. He gets to enjoy his feeling of security for about five seconds before Jongin moves his hand elsewhere.

“What the-” Kyungsoo yelps, jumping up when Jongin grabs his foot. His fucking foot. “What the hell are you-”

The android yanks his human’s ankle forward, throwing off his sock. Kyungsoo freezes, completely paralyzed with fear. He realizes that this is definitely what it feels like to be a deer in the headlights. Except instead of seeing a massive, metal death machine racing toward him, he sees an erotic robot’s lips descending on his foot.

“Your feet are so small and cute,” Jongin coos, diving in to kiss the bottom of Kyungsoo’s foot like some famished person would a christmas dinner.

“Oh- Oh my god-” Kyungsoo writhes beneath the freaky, ticklish ministrations of the other. He feels lips close around his toe, and at that point he hits his limit. “Nope! Nope, nope, nope-” The highlighted text on the screen reads plain as day: “Foot Fancier”. Fancier? More like freak.

“Ff- That tickles- Stop- stop that,” The human wiggles as he taps the next option. Sure, not reading may not be the smartest thing, but he decides that nothing can possibly be more horrific than Jongin giving his toes a blowjob.

Jongin stops, and Kyungsoo’s entire body relaxes, sagging into the mattress beneath him.

“Oh, thank god,” The journalist sighs with relief. Nothing could possibly be worse than the foot fetish.

“Smaaaackk!!”

Except getting smacked square in the face by a very muscular robot.

“Turn over, bitch boy,” Jongin grunts gutturally. He doesn’t really wait for Kyungsoo to comply, roughly grabbing his shoulder and flipping him over.

“O-Ow!” Kyungsoo is still reeling from the smack to the face, gasping for air, “Ow! You- You smacked me dead in the face. What the he-”

“Did I say you could talk?” The android takes a fistful of the journalist’s hair, shoving his face into the pillows underneath.

Kyungsoo’s glad he’d held onto the tablet for dear life - he starts tapping violently. He was so, so wrong about the foot fetish. Suddenly, the freaky, wet feeling of Jongin licking his toes is like a happy, nostalgic memory. Oh, what fun times they had just minutes ago! Jongin, sucking on Kyungsoo’s toes. Kyungsoo, writhing because it felt really weird and tickled him. Good times!

“Whah the fug ih thih?!” Kyungsoo groans, muffled by the pillows.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Jongin roughly gropes Kyungsoo’s ass, grinding his hips into the human’s, “You want this cock, don’t you, you little bitch?”

Kyungsoo manages to wiggle enough to get his face out of the pillows. Gasping for air, he searches for wherever the hell the “return to default” button is. Squinting at the screen, he sees precisely what had prompted a literal smack in the face: “Bully 1”. Bully 1? Does that mean there are more bully settings?

“Answer me bitch boy!”

Kyungsoo seriously questions the programmer who came up with the pet name “bitch boy” - it’s hardly threatening, and honestly if he wasn’t being pinned down by a very frustrating android, he’d probably laugh. Then it occurs to him that these temperament things are just “accessories” - does that mean Jongin is the one who’d picked out “bitch boy”? Something about the idea is weirdly fitting to Kyungsoo. Of course he’d choose something that dumb.

“I’m- Lemme change the setting,” The human groans.

Jongin roughly grinds his hips forward again, and Kyungsoo’s entire body tenses for a second. Fuck. That’s nice. A sweet, tingling sensation runs down his body, accompanied by a shudder.

“Change the setting? Don’t act like you don’t love it rough. I can see it in your eyes. And the way you lick those dick-sucking lips of yours.”

“My what?!”

“Don’t talk back!” Jongin lifts his hand.

“Smack!!” Another loud smack echoes in the bedroom, this time the hand landing roughly on his ass.

Kyungsoo inhales sharply and his legs clench. Nope, he tells himself. Nope. Not today, Satan. Not like this. He is not about to get off like this- or at all! He is definitely not thinking about getting off and does not, in fact, like it rough. Should the matter ever be brought up in front of a judge and jury, it can never be proved!

Shaking the distracting shivers down his spine away, Kyungsoo determinedly finds the “Restore to Default” button - a tiny little circle all the way in a remote corner of the screen. He taps it, and everything quiets for a second.

Then two seconds. Three… The seconds tick on for what feels like eons until finally, Jongin dismounts. Kyungsoo gets up, scowling indignantly at the android who, contrastingly, sits in his neat cross-legged position again. Jongin looks down at his hands in his lap.

More time passes until, finally, the android breaks the silence.

“Sorry…” He says sheepishly. “About that…”

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything, just responding with a glower.

Jongin tries again, looking Kyungsoo in the eye this time, “Sorry for, um… You know… Slapping you… In the face, and stuff…”

“Stuff? Like molesting my toes?!”

“Yeah, that, too, I guess… But, like, mostly smacking your face and stuff…” Jongin nibbles on his thick lower lip nervously. “Eventhoughyoulikedit…”

“What was that?” Kyungsoo’s eyes go wide. Did he hear what he just thought he heard?

“Nothing!” Jongin chirps, sitting up straighter, “So, instead of messing with my p ersonality, why not try some physical stuff! That’s more fun, anyways!”

“I feel like maybe playtime is over,” Kyungsoo replies. He can’t handle any other surprises smacking him in the face - literally and figuratively.

“Wh- No, come on. Please,” Jongin whines, bouncing up and down, “Please? Please, please, please? Trust me it’s way better and I won’t touch you! I’ll stay right here,” He pats his bare, incredibly well defined thighs chipperly.

Before he can get sucked into the junction between the android’s thighs, Kyungsoo glances pointedly at the tablet again. He supposes that - out of sheer boredom and a penchant for exploration - he can give the customization thing another chance. Sighing in defeat, he taps out of the entire “Psyche” section.

“Fine, fine. I’ll just um-”

“Yes! You won’t regret it, I promise. It’s so fun,” Jongin scooches across the bed until he’s close enough to look at the tablet over Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“What happened to staying over there?!”

“After last time, I think maybe you’ll want my help. Anyways, like I said, I promise I won’t touch you,” The droid holds his hands up to illustrate his point.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo accepts through gritted teeth. Jongin has a point: doing things solo had gotten the human literally slapped. Maybe some guidance would help.

“Okay, well, um- Where do I start?”

“Hmm… Oh, this is fun,” Jongin takes the liberty of reaching in front of Kyungsoo, tapping an icon under the “Physical” tree that reads “Sensitivity Settings”.

“Whoa,” Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows when another list of menus pops up - along with a map of the android’s body to the other side. “What’s all this?”

Jongin grins, pointing to things on the screen, “This is my sensitivity map. See these highlighted spots here?” He gestures to the little chart depicting his body. What looks like a thermal image covers the chart. The majority of his body appears rather “cool” save for a few splotches of bright red. “These are my ‘hot spots’ - my sensitive spots. By default, it’s all pretty normal as you can see. Nipples, dick, inside of the wrist, earlobe…”

“Huh,” Kyungsoo grunts. It’s kind of interesting.

“Now, if you tap this,” Jongin presses a button labelled “Customize Hot Spots” - the screen changes slightly, centering the body chart and making the menus beside it disappear. “You can change my hot spots. They all default to what’s comparable to humans, but you can actually make all of my hot spots, like, white hot. You can also cool them off completely or-” He taps randomly on what had been a cool spot on his shoulder, “-add new ones.”

“Wait, did you just-” Kyungsoo glances at the spot above Jongin’s collarbone that had just gone red on the screen. “Does that mean that…” His hand lifts unconsciously, reaching out toward the spot.

Jongin chuckles - and Kyungsoo swears it almost sounds embarrassed. Still, the android tilts his head, baring his neck and shoulders up as an offering.

“Touch it,” He invites the human.

Kyungsoo’s eyes dart between Jongin’s face - slightly flushed and almost bashful looking - and the newly created spot on his shoulder. Hesitantly, the human reaches out until it reaches the patch of skin just above the bot’s collarbone. Gingerly, Kyungsoo touches it, eyes fixed on Jongin’s face to read his reaction.

“Oh come on, you can touch it more than that,” Jongin jokes. Even though he tries to sound confident, Kyungsoo detects a note of huskiness - at least, he thinks he does.

Swallowing down the weird nervousness that’d lodged in his throat, Kyungsoo touches the spot again. He strokes little circles on the patch of skin, gently massaging it. It really does feel human which fascinates the journalist even more. He’s pretty sure that if he saw Jongin in public, he’d never know that he was an android.

“Shit,” Jongin tenses up, inhaling sharply. His lips press together, and his brows knit into an almost pained looking expression. Kyungsoo can feel the other shiver beneath the simple care given by his thumb.

“Whoa,” Leaves the human’s lips without warning. He snaps them shut, embarrassed that something so little yet perverse fascinates him so much. He jabs his thumb into the spot, looking closely to see what reaction it’ll elicit.

“Ff-hh-” Jongin gasps, and his entire body stutters. His eyes blow open, and he hastily reaches for the screen, “Okay! Alright, now you get how that works-” He taps a button on the screen, undoing the self-made hot spot rapidly. “-you can also adjust existing hot spots, like I said. Here.” He taps something else, and the chart changes. It’s titled “Hot Spot Sensitivity Customization”. Jongin taps another hot spot - a nipple - and a slider appears.

“Huh,” Kyungsoo grunts. “So I can just… Slide this and… Make it more or less sensitive.”

“Mhm!” Jongin nods, his cheery demeanor returning quickly. “Some people love, like, super sensitive companions.”

“So… What happens if I turn this all the way up?” Kyungsoo asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“If you turn it all the way to white, I’ll come like,” Jongin snaps, “That. Like just playing with it a little will make me blow my load.”

“Damn,” Kyungsoo eyes the nipple again. “What happens if I cool it off so to speak?”

“Then it’s way harder to make me come,” The droid laughs. “Turning it to black actually turns it off completely. Like, I’ll just not even feel anything.”

“That kinda sucks. So you can’t come, period?”

“Nope! But there’s also a separate setting for coming, too. You can deactivate it.”

“Wh- No fucking way,” Kyungsoo reels back in disbelief.

“Psh, of course you can! Do you know how many fuckers get a sexbot just so they can jack the sensitivity up while disabling their ability to come?”

“Oh, God. That’s… Extreme,” Just thinking about it legitimately terrifies the human. He can’t imagine being sentenced to an existence like that - just being edged forever.

“Yeah, well, that’s what we’re here for,” Jongin shrugs, “We exist to indulge the extremes that humans cannot and should not endure.”

Yikes, Kyungsoo thinks. Whether he’d meant it or not, Jongin painted the life of a sexbot in a pretty grim light. Of course the people who ordered those things are freaks. What kind of a sex-crazed lunatic would want a companion dedicated to specialized fucking?

What sort of depraved animal would ever want that kind of thing?!

“They said you need to rest in your console,” Chanyeol says to his maidbot who’d just finished cleaning the kitchen.

His ramyun concoction had been surprisingly yummy despite the threadbare sustenance the bachelor keeps at the ready. By adding some unique blend of spices and leftover meat, the maid had turned ramyun from average to delicious! Being a bachelor, Chanyeol despises cooking just for himself. He figures: why keep food and cook when all the take-out places within a five-kilometer radius know him by name?

Sure, they’d only gotten to that point because of his refusal to properly cook - but that’s beside the point! Except, now he has a maidbot. Those worries are far behind him, and despite his dissatisfaction earlier, he’s actually kind of jazzed about all the home-cooked meals he’s gonna have. There’s just one thing left before he can settle into his new life of human-robot companionship.

“Oh, for the mod, right?” Baekhyun asks, untying the apron he’d had around his waist. (Chanyeol didn’t even know he owned an apron, let alone where the droid found it.)

“Mhm! Apparently, it’s pretty big, so you’ll have to sleep for awhile. Is that okay?”

“Fine by me!” Baekhyun obliges, crossing over the kitchen toward his console in the living room. “Oh! Wait, before I rest- is there anything else I can do for you, master?” He asks, looking over his shoulder.

Chanyeol shakes his head, “Nah, you’re fine.”

“And one more thing: what would you like your wake up time to be?”

“Wake up time?” The human tilts his head curiously.

“Of course, master. I ought to be done before the morning, and it’s customary for maidbots to provide the most pleasant waking experience possible. A smooth morning is essential to a well run household!”

“Oh, uh… Just wake me up at eleven tomorrow - if I’m not up!” It’s a weekend, so Chanyeol figures the later wake up time should be alright.

“And any special requests for your wake up, master?”

“Uh… No? Just, um, do it nicely, I guess? Don’t yell or anything?”

“Yes, sir,” Baekhyun turns and bows, “I’ll be receiving the modification, then. Have a good rest of your evening.”

“Right,” Chanyeol nods. The more he looks at him, the cuter that bot gets. This might not so bad after all, he muses.