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Elena is stretched out on the couch, leaning against Stefan and doing her math homework, when Damon crashes in with three college-age women in tow. “Here we are!” he announces, sounding drunk.
“Hello Damon,” Stefan says, voice level.
“Good afternoon, little brother. Girls,” he smiles at the blonde his arm is around, “that’s my kid brother Stefan and his girlfriend Elena. They’re boring.”
“And who might your friends be?” Elena watches the brunette look around in wide-eyed awe.
“This place is amazing,” she breathes, ignoring the invitation to introduce herself.
“Boring couple, this is Amy,” Damon indicates the brunette, “Marilyn and Sandy.” The two blondes wave cheerfully.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Stefan says. “I trust my brother is being good to you.”
“Oh, he’s super nice,” Sandy nods. She appears to be stone cold sober, unlike the other two, but she’s smiling at Damon alluringly just as they are.
Damon opens his arms expansively, gesture clumsy in that perfectly practiced way that means he is acting drunker than he is to get their guards down. Elena narrows her eyes at him. “Friends, let us party here. I’ll get the drinks.”
Marilyn pouts. “Can’t we go upstairs? You could show us all over the house.” Her fingers walk a line up Damon’s chest.
“Here is good,” Damon insists. Elena watches closely; if there is even a hint of mind control, she will break this thing up. Damon just smiles charmingly at the women and says, “Come on, there’s room to dance here!”
He gets some music set up. Elena twists her head up and around to catch Stefan’s eye, but he shakes his head. He’s got a small indulgent smile, so she shrugs and goes back to her homework. Stefan turns a page of his book and kisses her hair.
Elena finishes her math and moves on to her English assignment. She’s half way through making notes when she glances up to see Damon and Sandy making out on the couch opposite theirs. Damon’s shirt is off, his pants are unbuttoned, Sandy’s skirt is hitched up to her waist, and he’s currently taking her bra off. Elena slams her pencil down and turns around to face Stefan, who is looking at his book, shaking his head and smiling.
He glances up at her. His eyes are warm and full of amusement; they flick over to the other couch, back to her, and he smiles wider. “How’s it going over there?” he calls.
“Stefan,” Elena hisses, “what are you doing?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Damon turns his head to look at them. His eyes are half-closed, but triumphant. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“No, but you’re making Elena uncomfortable,” Stefan answers. He turns to her. “It’s a lovely day. Why don’t we take a walk?”
Stefan pats Damon’s shoulder as he passes. “Have fun,” he calls, all but laughing. Amy and Marilyn are curled up in a nearby armchair, making out languidly. Damon looks over at them and winks at Elena.
“Stefan, what the hell is going on?” Elena explodes once they’re outside.
“Come on.” Stefan shakes his head. “Let’s go up to the falls.”
They drive in silence for a few minutes, then he says, “Okay, we’re definitely out of earshot.”
“What was that all about?” Elena challenges. “If Damon hurts those girls —”
“He won’t.” Stefan has stopped smiling. “He didn‘t take them home to kill them.”
“What then? For sex? Couldn’t he have done that somewhere else?” She’s trying not to think about the lines of his back.
“It’s time I told you some things,” Stefan says softly. “There are things in my past that … I’m really not proud of.” They’ve arrived. Elena shuts the engine off. “Is that okay?”
“Sure,” Elena nods, wondering where this came from. “You know you can tell me anything. I want you to tell me things.”
They get out of the car and set off, walking on the cleared path. Stefan is silent for a minute.
“Damon is trying to provoke me,” he says, frowning at the ground. “It’s — his attempts are so laughable — but he’s frustrated.” He looks up at Elena, no smile now. “That’s not good.”
“No, it isn’t. Why is he frustrated? Is it that he isn’t killing? Is it that Katherine wasn‘t in the tomb?”
Stefan shakes his head. “He’s grieving over Katherine, but that’s not why he’s frustrated. And he’s not one for killing these days unless it’s for a dramatic entrance. He usually feeds without it —”
“Is he feeding on those girls right now?” Elena stops, coiled to run back to the car.
“Probably,” Stefan says, and Elena moves. “Wait —” He’s in front of her in the blink of an eye. “He won‘t kill them, he‘ll take them back to their dorms and they‘ll be fine.”
Elena doesn’t relax, but she doesn’t push past him either. “Why is Damon frustrated? Why is he taking it out on you, or is it just his usual way of dealing?”
“Yes and no. I — let’s sit.” He indicates a nearby log, a thick branch lying near the path, covered in moss. “There are things … it’s not that I didn’t want you to know, it’s just that it wasn’t relevant, and I’m not proud of it. But it’s becoming relevant, so you should know about it.”
“About what?” Elena puts a hand on his arm. “Stefan, you know you can tell me anything.”
“Back when — right after we died, when we first became vampires — Damon hated me. More than he does now, even. He’d sworn to make the rest of my life a misery, and he set about doing it. He fed on every person I got close to, compelled them to turn on me. So I stopped making friends, stopped speaking to anyone, just tried to live as well as I could. But he wouldn’t stop doing everything in his power to make me miserable.”
Elena takes his hand, laces their fingers, and squeezes.
“By then we’d met a few other vampires, so I did have some friends. None of them liked Damon much, I don’t think that helped. Anyway, he started picking fights with me, physical fights. I wish I could’ve just ignored him, but I was a different person back then.”
Elena squeezes his hand again. “What happened?“
He sighs. “We started fighting. Every night, no matter what I did to keep my temper, he’d just chip away until I snapped. I was young, so was he, and our friends just left us to it. I think there was something in the fighting he needed, some kind of release he couldn’t even get from killing.”
“Hey,” Elena says softly, “it’s okay.”
“One night,” Stefan continues, “we were throwing each other around the room, and in the middle of it, he kissed me.”
Elena feels like she’s been doused with ice water. She doesn’t notice her slack jaw or the echo of her sharp gasp for a few seconds. “What?”
“It was part of the fight,” Stefan says, turning to face her. “It was — the ultimate act of aggression. We were locked into this thing, by that point — one of us always had to win a fight, or it just wouldn’t end. There were no time outs, no backing down for either of us. I was sick of all of it, I fought back to make him stop. I didn’t realise that just made him fight harder.”
“Did you kiss him back?” She watches the expression on his face as he nods. “Why?”
“I thought it was to win, so he would finally just stop and leave me alone. I thought he did it as a test, to see what I’d do, and when I pulled away he’d have won.”
“But he didn’t?” Elena’s head is spinning. “Stefan, are you — are you telling me Damon has feelings for you?”
Stefan just looks at her for a minute. “Things are different when you’re a vampire,” he says, gentle. “Feelings, urges, they get mixed up sometimes. What you felt when you were human, it’s all amplified. It’s huge.”
Elena stares at him, reeling. “Are you telling me that you have feelings back?”
“I didn’t,” he says, eyes never once leaving her face. He’s the same open Stefan, telling her something deeply personal, but this isn’t anything she ever expected from him. “Not then.”
This is too much. “But you do now?” She stands up, moving her hands around because she can’t keep still. “Stefan, what are you — what are you telling me?”
“Elena,” he doesn’t stand, just looks at her earnestly, “please, I know this is a lot to take in, but — I will understand if you need some time, after this conversation, but it’s not over yet. Okay?”
“You don’t — you — you have incestuous feelings for your brother?”
His gaze is level. “Yes, I have feelings for him. But I will never, never act on them. Not again.”
Elena runs a hand through her hair. “And you didn’t think this was relevant?”
“I’m sorry, I know, but — look, it hasn’t been an issue in a century, I didn’t think it would come up again. I’ve pushed those feelings aside, I shut them off, it’s like they don’t exist.”
“But they do.” She’s staring at him, like somehow if she stares for long enough he‘ll take it back.
“It doesn’t change a single thing about how I feel about you,” he says, stance and eyes pleading now. “This, my love for you, this is so important to me. More than anything else.”
“So that performance today, that — was that Damon trying to make you jealous?” There’s a small twitch at one corner of his mouth. “You think this is funny?”
“I think that Damon believing he can make me jealous is hilarious.”
Elena paces back and forth a few times. “You said he’s frustrated. So, what, he wants to be with you so he’s going to take it out on innocent people?”
“No,” Stefan is suddenly standing, utterly serious. “I will never let him do that. Never.”
“I have to — I have to go. You can get home, right?”
He nods. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’m sorry it’s true at all.”
She gives a small, curt nod and heads back to the car. She drives home, tears threatening all the way. Jenna tries to grab her for a discussion about dinner, but Elena shakes her off and runs to her room. The door shut, she crumples onto the bed and lets herself cry.
There’s a knock at the door twenty minutes later. “Elena?” Jeremy calls. “Dinner’s nearly ready.”
She wipes a hand across her eyes. “Thanks,” she calls back.
He opens the door a crack. “Are you okay?”
She is so tired of lying to him. “Not really, no.”
“You want to talk about it?”
My vampire boyfriend has the hots for his brother, who might start killing people if they don’t have sex soon, and according to Stefan this isn‘t a big deal. “No. Thanks, though.”
He gives her one of those sympathetic smiles she finds oddly comforting. “Okay. You should come down, it’s fajitas.”
“I’ll be there in a minute.” She manages a smile. After he’s gone downstairs, her phone beeps.
There are two texts from Stefan. The first, sent fifteen minutes ago, reads I love you. I’m sorry I freaked you out. Call me when you’re ready to talk. The most recent one says I think we should have a threesome with Damon.
She types a reply, Damon, give Stefan his phone back.
A few seconds later, she gets a text, This is really Stefan. Think about it, a threesome could solve all our problems.
Clenching her jaw, she types, Damon. Give. It. Back.
I really am Stefan, comes the reply. I’m serious.
Damon, she types on her way downstairs, give Stefan his phone back or you will regret it.
Just as she gets to the kitchen, her phone beeps again. He’ll have to fight me for it.
Damon. She hits send, and looks up to see Jenna looking worriedly at her.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She shakes out her hair and calls up a smile. “These look delicious, thanks Jenna.”
Both Jenna and Jeremy look suspiciously at her, but they don’t say anything. The fajitas really are delicious, and she ignores the beeps of received texts as they’re eating. Jeremy and Elena tease Jenna about liking Mr Saltzman, and Jenna finally manages to change the subject when Elena’s phone goes off yet again.
“You’re ignoring your phone,” Jenna points out. “Who are all those texts from? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine, just —” the first text reads Elena, the next What, that’s it, no threat? “Damon being an ass,” Elena mutters, reading through the texts. Or was just my name supposed to be a threat? Daaamoooon, then Maybe you should come over here and make me give Stefan his phone back, then He keeps trying to grab it, do you think I should let him?, then Oops, I threw him out the window. That’s the most recent, a few seconds ago.
Elena looks up. “Excuse me, for a sec,” she says, and Jenna nods curiously. She slips out into the hall and calls Stefan.
Damon answers. “Why hello there, beautiful young lady,” he says, his charm up full.
“Damon,” Elena doesn’t try to hold any of the thunder back from her voice, “give Stefan his phone back. Now.”
“Ooh, feisty. I like it.”
“Damon.”
There is a short silence. “That was hot,” Damon says. His voice is a little odd, like he really, sincerely meant it. Then his glibness is back. “Okay,” he says, and there are muffled noises for a few seconds.
“Elena?” Stefan says. “You okay?”
“Damon was being an ass.” Elena pulls her hair out of her face with one hand, letting it fall back after a moment. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I‘m fine. What did you say to him?”
“I just — I said Damon.” She tries to replicate the tone of voice she’d used, and does a pretty good imitation.
“Oh.” He sounds surprised. “That is hot.”
“Shut up.” Her playful mood only lasts a second. “I have to go. I still haven’t — I need more time.”
“I know. Sorry about Damon.”
“Tell him to behave,” Elena says, and hangs up. She goes back to the table.
“Everything okay?” Jenna repeats, watching her closely.
“Everything’s fine,” Elena nods. “I just had to stop Damon being an ass. For now.”
At that moment, she gets a text from Damon’s phone. It just says, Make me.
She deletes it.
Dear Diary,
I don’t have anyone to talk to. With Bonnie gone, there’s just Matt or Caroline, and either of them would freak. I wish Bonnie were here. This isn’t the sort of thing I can leave a message about. I’ve tried saying just call me, but she hasn’t. I hope she’s okay.
I just don’t know what to do. I haven’t spoken to Stefan in days, and whenever I see him, he smiles and says he loves me and to take all the time I need to think. He’s pretty obviously worried I’ll break up with him, but that — I don’t know. I don’t think I will, I just — this is weird, and huge, and wrong.
I really am dating a vampire.
I guess it doesn’t have much to do with being a vampire. Everything he’s said about it points to: you are who you are, just with a different morality. Like how being drunk takes away your inhibitions, maybe, but doesn’t make you do something you didn’t really want to, deep down. Is vampirism like that? Did Stefan want Damon when they were alive?
I can’t ask him those questions. He’ll tell me the answers, completely honestly, and I’ll just be disgusted and wish I’d never asked. I can’t — how am I meant to deal with this?
They’re vampires. They’re fucked up. If I can just see it as a part of that … but Stefan, he isn’t fucked up. Except he must be, but … he’s just Stefan, caring and considerate and thoughtful Stefan. He’s a good guy. I can’t reconcile incest with such a good guy, I just can’t. Why does he feel that way? Why does
“Dear Diary,” says a voice behind her. Elena jumps, slamming the book shut. “How will I ever choose between those gorgeous, hunky Salvatore brothers?” Damon grins at her. “I know. I won’t choose.”
“I’m not Katherine.” Elena stands, facing him squarely.
He’s on her in less than a second, pressed close. She hasn’t moved at all, and she doesn’t, just tilts her chin to look him in the eye. “Katherine played us off against each other, made sure we were jealous and suspicious. You are nothing like her.”
The realisation startles her, though she tries not to show it. “You have feelings for me.”
He smiles a dangerous smile. “Bingo.”
“You have feelings for Stefan.”
His smile continues. “Yep.”
“And now you’re not obsessed with Katherine, you’re concentrating on getting between me and Stefan.”
“Right in the middle,” Damon moves his hips from side to side. He’s not pressing them against her, keeping a small distance. Elena studies him.
“What makes you think it’ll work?”
His smile changes. It’s less predatory. “I don’t. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”
Elena raises her eyebrows. “And suddenly appearing in my bedroom to practically assault me is the way you’ve decided to try and do that?”
Damon frowns. “I‘m not assaulting you. I‘m very deliberately not assaulting you.” He moves his hips back further, keeping the rest of him close.
“Nice try. See, where I come from, being a dick doesn’t get you anything but kicked out.”
Damon tries a flirty smile. “What does having a dick get you?”
“Ugh.” Elena steps away to sit on the bed. “Leave.”
“Throw me out.” He does a quick eyebrow movement, then is standing over her. “I dare you.”
She stares levelly at him. “Damon,” she commands, “leave.”
An expression flits across his face, too quick to read. “Okay.” He makes to go. “I just thought you might like to hear my side of the story.”
“Why, so I can feel sorry for you?”
“No, so you can hear it from both of us.” Damon looks at her, a surprisingly soft smile playing at his lips. “I hear you like that.”
She studies him for a minute. “Fine,” she says, “tell your side. But make one single move and you will regret it.”
“What are you going to do to me?” He’s leaning over her in a flash. She moves her eyes up to look him in the face.
“Don’t push me.” He looks surprised at that, and something else, something she can’t identify. She’s seen it on his face before, though she can’t think when. “Sit.”
He sits obediently next to her on the bed, and opens his mouth to speak.
“And drop the attitude,” she adds. “No smugness, don’t flirt with me, just be honest.” She stares him down. “For once.”
He looks like he’s about to wisecrack, or say something dismissive or ridiculing, but she continues to stare him down until he just nods. “I want the truth,” Elena says.
Damon laughs softly. “The truth? You really want the truth. What Stefan told you freaked you out bad, and you want to hear my side honestly?”
She takes a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Fine, okay, but you asked for it.” Damon leans back on his hands, stretching his legs out. “Before Katherine, I loved my brother. Even after she started playing us, I loved him. I wanted it to be just me and Katherine, undead, it pissed me off that she was with him too, but truthfully, I could bear it because it was him. We grew up the way any rich kids grew up in a town like this; our father was a dick, our mother died young, sometimes all we had was each other.”
“You were close,” Elena nods. Damon looks at her, smiling half in amusement, half fondness.
“Aw, you’re trying to understand.” She holds a hand up threateningly, and he holds his up in surrender. “I’ll play nice.”
“Good.” She waits.
“We didn’t exactly have health class back then,” Damon shrugs. “Puberty arrives, you have all these feelings and urges, and your brother is right there.”
“That is gross,” Elena grimaces, “and I said to be honest.”
Damon drops his smile. “Fine. You want the truth? Here it is. I loved my brother while we were alive. As in, loved, like I loved Katherine except without the obsession. I wasn’t stupid. I knew if my father ever found out he’d have me hanged as a demon. I thought for a while that I might be possessed.”
“Did anything happen?”
“Of course not,” Damon snaps. “I just said, I wasn’t stupid. It’s not like he felt the same way. Then we died, and I hated him. I am also a vampire, so I stopped caring that incest is wrong on a human moral compass. So is murder. Look what I can do.” He holds his arms out, grinning.
Elena rolls over fast, and shoves her knee into his groin. “I hope your pain is amplified like your other feelings,” she says, pulling her knee back to dig it in again.
Damon is writhing, face contorted. “Get off me,” he growls, flipping them over in a second. He shakes himself, pinning her down.
“If you ever talk about people’s lives like that again,” Elena glares, “I will kill you.”
“That’s my life you’re talking about,” Damon says. He is dangerous, he is pinning her, and he is angry. Elena kicks him. “You want the rest of the story?” Damon asks, holding her arms.
“Let me go,” she commands. Damon’s eyes flick to her mouth, and then he’s gone.
She sits up. He’s sitting next to her again. “You want to know what happened after we died?”
“I want to know why you sometimes do what I say.”
He tilts his head at her. “Sometimes you’ve earned it. You want to know what happened after we died?” he repeats.
Elena watches him for a moment. “You attacked him,” she says.
“Ten points to the lady,” Damon nods. “He was showing me the life, how to feed, who to feed on. He wasn’t always the wet blanket he is now. Way back when, he was fun.“
Elena tries not to shudder. Damon notices, but all he does is smirk.
“For vampires, drinking blood is — it’s like eating your favourite food. It’s pleasurable.” Leaning in close to her, he murmurs, “Sensual.” She aims her knee at his leg, but it’s moved by the time she gets there. “In the beginning, I was weak. He was a lot stronger than me, and sometimes he got me to feed from him.” Damon isn’t looking at her any more. “I thought maybe he knew, maybe he was torturing me. We fed together, on the same person sometimes, but it was all just the blood. It wasn’t anything else, and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to break him, make him as angry as I was. When we started fighting, I just wanted to win. Then one night, I realised how I could win completely, so I kissed him. Thing was, he kissed back.” Damon is eyeing her now, predatory. “He kissed me like he was starving, like he’d been waiting all his life. We fucked every night for thirty years.” The shock must have registered on her face, because he moves closer. Voice getting quieter, more focused, he says, “Every time he fucked me, I won because it was what I wanted. Every time I fucked him,” his mouth now an inch from Elena’s ear, “I won because he liked it so much. You should have seen his face.”
Elena pushes, but Damon has already snapped back to his place. “In the end, he stopped being fun, and it turned out he still cared that it’s ‘wrong’,” he finger-quotes. “I say we’re dead, get over it, things are different for us.”
“It’s still — you’re still related,” Elena points out.
“It’s not like we can make an inbred baby,” Damon shrugs. “Who exactly did it hurt?”
“Stefan,” Elena says. “It hurt Stefan.”
Damon looks at her for a second, eyes filled with concern, and then he’s gone, leaving only a breeze coming from the window.
Elena sits very still for a few minutes, wishing she could just empty out her brain of thoughts so she can sort them. A drive would help, so she grabs her jacket and her keys and heads out.
She thinks as she drives, barely seeing the streets she passes. Damon and Stefan, young vampires, together. Damon and Stefan, older vampires, not together. She can’t stop hearing Damon say We fucked every night and he liked it.
She only realises that she’s been driving over to Stefan’s when she gets there. This, she knows, is exactly where she should be; she needs to talk to him about what Damon said.
The door is unlocked, as usual, so she goes straight in. She hears voices immediately; they’re not in the main room, they’re somewhere upstairs. She can’t see them, but she can hear them clearly. “I asked Elena who it hurt, and she said you,” Damon is saying. “Answer the question, did I hurt you?”
“Why, so you can keep score?“ There’s a pause. “You went to see Elena?” Stefan sounds furious.
“You told her your side, I thought she should hear mine!” Damon shouts.
“Oh my God,” Stefan says as they walk onto the balcony. Stefan’s body language is angry, Damon’s tense. “You actually want a relationship with her, don’t you? Don’t you?”
“Yes, all right? I want what you have, with both of you, are you happy now?” Damon storms into one of the upstairs rooms and slams the door.
Stefan puts his head in his hands. Elena almost leaves, but he looks up as she starts backing away.
“Elena —” He runs down the stairs, at a normal speed. “Elena, wait.”
“Is it true what Damon said?” she asks. “Did you like it when you slept with him?”
Stefan presses his lips together, anxiety all over his face. “Yes.”
“Do you want what he wants? Tell me the truth, Stefan. I heard what he just said. Do you want that too?”
He stares at her for a long time. “Yes,” he says at last, so quietly she almost doesn’t hear it. “I do.”
Elena turns around and walks out. She gets into her car, starts the engine, and drives aimlessly around for a while.
What if Damon’s right? she thinks. What if it’s different for them, because they’re vampires?
But Damon wanted Stefan before he became a vampire, another part of her mind points out. That’s not okay.
I don’t want to break up with Stefan, she reasons, so I have to deal with knowing this somehow. We’ll have to deal with Damon’s frustration. I have to talk to him. I have to talk to Stefan, I have to — I have to be okay with this.
She takes a deep breath. Okay, so Stefan and Damon were together once. That’s … that’s gross and wrong but so is everything about being a vampire. They were so close growing up, then they shared Katherine, I guess it’s … not too far from it. Not when you’re dead, anyway. She shakes herself and tries again. I’ll be okay with this. I have to be okay with this, I can’t lose Stefan. I don’t want to lose Damon, either.
She pushes that thought aside and goes back to that they were together once. It’s getting easier to think about the more she tries. She’s always had a very strong sense of incest being wrong, and still does, but she can’t quite shake the feeling that she’s judging one complicated relationship on a moral compass that doesn’t apply to it.
She ends up back at the boarding house. Her shoes crunch on the drive, and she knocks that time.
Damon answers the door. “I just want you to know,” Elena says, “incest is creepy. You’re creepy about your brother.”
“You have sex with a corpse,” Damon snaps. “Stefan’s dead. How is that not creepy?”
Elena turns on her heel and marches back to her car. She drives until she runs out of gas, then just sits for a while, holding the wheel.
It’s getting dark when Jenna calls. “Honey, where are you? It’s late, when are you coming home?”
“I ran out of gas.” She leans her forehead on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry, I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“You’d better be. Elena, what’s wrong?”
“I’m fighting with Stefan,” she sighs. “He told me some things, about his past … I’m having a hard time handling it.”
“Well, what is it? Is it bad?”
“It’s … have you ever been with someone who’s done something objectively wrong, but it didn’t hurt anyone?”
“No,” Jenna says, “I’ve been with guys who’ve done things that are objectively wrong, and they’ve hurt people. What did he do?”
“I can’t really talk about it.” She covers her forehead with a hand, the other clutching her phone tighter. “It’s between Stefan and Damon, the only people they hurt were each other.”
Jenna sighs. “Sibling relationships can get complicated, and sometimes brothers hurt each other. It doesn’t make Stefan less of a good guy.”
“I know.” Elena is getting cold. “Listen, I’m going to call someone, I’ll be home soon. Thanks, Jenna.”
“Any time. It’s what I’m here for.”
Elena stares at her phone for a minute, then calls Stefan. “I ran out of gas,” she says, and tells him where she is.
“I’ll be there in a minute.” He sounds worried, and when he appears in a blur, carrying a huge bottle of gasoline, he empties it into her tank without a word.
“Thank you,” she says when he’s done. “I have to get home, Jenna’s worried.”
“Good, you shouldn’t be out here on your own.”
She smiles tiredly at him. “I’m fine. How are you, though? You okay?”
“I’m … hoping my girlfriend is still speaking to me.” He pauses. “Are you?”
“Yes, Stefan, I’m still speaking to you. And yes,” she cuts off his next question before it’s asked, “I’m still your girlfriend. I just … I’m having a hard time with this.”
“It’s understandable. Don’t — I just don’t like disgusting you.”
The shock is sudden and a horrible sensation. “You’re not — Stefan, you could never —”
“You think I’m wrong and disgusting,” he says, voice measured.
“It — I think incest is wrong, not you.”
“There’s overlap.” He sighs. “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” he mutters.
“No, that’s — it’s not a matter of — I’m just freaked, okay? I’m trying to be okay with this.”
“I’m not into incest for its own sake,” Stefan says. “I’m not saying that makes it better, or that I’d be a worse person if I were, I’m just saying it. Damon being my brother was what prevented me having feelings for him for a long time.”
“So what made you have them?”
Stefan heaves a long sigh. “He’s Damon,” he says at last. “Infuriating, smug, evil, smartass, unbearable, annoying, but … Damon. You can’t choose who you fall in love with.”
She folds her arms on the steering wheel and rests her cheek on them, facing him. “Is he in love with me?”
“Yes. Not as much as I am,” said with a smile. Elena smiles back. “Do you love him?”
It’s not something she’s ever considered before. “I — I have feelings for him,” she admits. “But I love you.”
“Look, I know he’s awful and we’d be much better off without him, but — maybe give the three of us a little thought?” Stefan leans on the door, smiling at her. “Of course, I’d rather it stay just the two of us, but —”
“Would you?”
He looks thoughtful. “Honestly?”
“Really honestly.”
“I don’t know.”
Elena starts the engine. “I’ll see you later,” she says, and Stefan steps away from the car as she drives off. She waves, and he waves back, then she turns to look at the road.
She’s been home for an hour when somebody knocks on the door. Jenna answers it. “Damon,” she says, “hi. Uh — Elena?”
She’s already there. “I’ll take it from here, thanks.” She stands, holding the door open, making him stay outside. “Why are you here?”
“I came to see you.” Damon waves a hand. “Can I come in?”
She sizes him up. “Okay.” He steps inside, nodding a hello to Jeremy.
“Can we,” he indicates the stairs. Elena folds her arms.
“One wrong move,” she warns. He holds his hands up, actually looking sincere for once.
They go up to her room. She closes the door, but only because she doesn’t want anyone to hear the conversation. “What is it?” she asks, facing him.
He’s sitting on the bed. “Can I talk to you? I mean, really talk?”
She stares at him. “Who are you and what have you done with Damon?”
“Elena. Please.”
She sits next to him. “What about?”
“I know that you’ve talked to Stefan, and I know that you’re having a hard time dealing with me and him. Which, you’re human, whatever, just. This is my life you’re judging, and his, too. How would you feel if someone you cared about found out that Stefan’s a vampire, and called you disgusting for being in love with him?”
“I’d — I —” She closes her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“The rules aren’t the same for us,” Damon says. “And who’s to say the rules are right, anyway? There’s a huge difference between abuse and being in love with someone who happens to be related to you.”
“You’ve had this argument before.” Elena’s voice is faint.
“Only in my head,” Damon says. “I had to prepare arguments in case Father found out somehow. At least be able to argue it to myself.” His mouth twists, like he’s smelling something foul.
“I just — it’s too much to take in.”
“What, so finding out vampires are real was a breeze?” He watches her, some of his anger back in place. “I know what it feels like to find out vampires exist, to be in love with one, so helplessly there is nothing you can do but be okay with it.” More of the usual Damon comes back as he says, “Of course, I really liked it, so —”
She aims for him with a pillow. He dodges, laughing. “I should know by now that you aren’t normal,” Elena teases.
“Normal is overrated,” Damon shrugs, grinning. “Live a little.”
“That’s more like the Damon I know.” He drops onto his back, and she shifts to her side, head propped up on one hand.
“The Damon you know and love?” He looks cautiously hopeful, which makes her heart lurch.
“The Damon I know and like as a friend,” she says. “And … maybe have feelings for.”
“So some day you’ll come around to a threesome?” That is definitely hope.
“Not likely,” she shakes her head, though now she isn’t completely sure. Damon watches her face. “I don’t know.”
“Well, I won’t push then.”
She looks at him, surprised. “Damon Salvatore, actually giving me space to figure things out. Who are you really?”
“No, you’re right, I’m really Stefan, I just mysteriously look like Damon. He is the handsome one, so —”
She hits him with the pillow that time.
“This wasn’t actually what I came here to talk about,” Damon says, pushing the pillow away. “I just wanted to point it out.”
“What did you want to talk about?”
“The times I do what you say.” He’s looking at her, intense and sincere. It’s almost alarming.
“Oh.”
“You wanted to know why I do it.”
“Yes. Why do you?”
He takes a deep breath. “Because I like it.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You like it. As in…”
“I get off on it,” he supplies. “Emotionally. Okay, not just emotionally.”
“You’re admitting to having emotions?” She’s mock-shocked, but genuinely surprised.
“Yes, don’t get used to it.” He’s gazing at her. She looks away.
“So what you’re saying is,” she playfully starts.
“I like it when you push me around,” he finishes for her. “Sometimes. On occasion. When you do that thing with your voice, it’s so sexy.”
He does a ridiculous hand motion for emphasis. It dawns on her that he did it just to make her laugh. “Good to know.”
“You do know what I’m saying, right?”
“I … thought I did. Now I’m not so sure.” He’s looking at her intently.
“I’m asking you to push me around,” he says.
“So you can get off on it.” She raises her eyebrows again.
“No, because nobody else does.” He’s holding her gaze, and he is actually being sincere.
“I’ll think about it,” she says.
“You do that.” He smiles at her, and she smiles back.
“What makes you love him?” she asks, after a semi-comfortable silence of a minute or two.
“I have no idea,” Damon sighs. “He’s annoying, he’s boring, he whines all the time, he’s got this stupid holier-than-thou attitude, he lets his feelings get in the way of everything —” He stops. “All of that, I guess. What about you?”
Elena smiles. “I love him because he’s so kind and thoughtful. And smoking hot.”
“Oh yeah,” Damon nods in agreement. “And the way he just lights up when he smiles,” he adds in a syrupy voice.
“I cannot have a conversation with you,” Elena laughs. Right at this second, she wants to lick his neck. She pushes it aside.
“What, a conversation like we’re having right now? I totally thought we were having one, that’s weird.”
She tries to hit him with the pillow again, but he catches it, and pretends to wrestle. She laughs, and pretends to wrestle it back.
Jenna opens the door. “Is everything okay in here?”
“Everything’s fine, Jenna,” Elena smiles at her. She takes the opportunity to get the pillow back. Damon mock-glares at her.
“Elena, family time is now.” Jenna’s arms are folded.
“Well, shoot, is that the time — I’d better go.” Damon flashes her a smile as he stands up. “Jenna,” he inclines his head as he’s passing her.
The second he’s out of human earshot, Jenna shuts the door. “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Elena says.
“You’re flirting with Damon. Your boyfriend’s brother.” Jenna says it like Elena had somehow forgotten.
“I wasn’t flirting. We’re friends.” She fights the urge to hug her knees to her chest.
“Well, it was definitely flirting to him. Just — just don’t do anything stupid, all right?”
“What, what exactly do you think I would do? Cheat on Stefan? Is that really what you think of me?”
Jenna’s glare doesn’t let up. “Just make sure you stay the kind of person who doesn’t sleep with her boyfriend’s brother.”
Elena opens her mouth to say something, but she’s too hurt to think of a single word. Jenna leaves, closing the door behind her, and Elena lets the tears fall.
She looks up after a minute. Damon is standing in the corner. “Is this how you feel when I say — those things I say?” she asks.
“Yes,” he says. “I shut it off.”
“Liar.” She wipes her cheek. “Is this how I’ll always feel, if we do this? Whenever anyone notices something?”
He walks over quickly, but slowly enough that she can see him move. He leans down, and wipes her other cheek. It’s a movement more tender than she’d thought him capable of. “Yes,” he whispers, and then he’s gone.
“You need to stop doing that,” she mutters.
In school on Monday, she smiles at Stefan in class; the minute the bell rings, they meet at the door and head to lunch.
“So, can I take it that you’ve processed things?” he asks.
“Yes. Processed, thought about, decided I’m okay with. Not —” she glances around, “not what Damon talked about, I haven’t — just what you told me.”
“I can live with that.” Stefan puts an arm around her. “So, are you doing anything after school?”
“No plans,” she smiles at him.
“Want to come over and do homework?” He nudges her affectionately. “I could kick Damon out.”
Elena laughs. “He’s okay.”
“Really.” Stefan’s eyebrows go up. “You’re not considering it … are you?”
“I don’t know.” She ducks her head. “Honestly, I really don’t. But I’m thinking about … thinking about it.”
“Well, just let me know if you need to talk.” He tucks her against him as they walk, and she puts her arm around his waist.
The next day, she finds out that her birth mother was killed by Damon, so she avoids him for a while.
“Have you thought any more about the threesome?” Damon asks, when they’re in the car on the way to see Mr Saltzman.
Elena slides her eyes off the road for a second to glare at him. “You turned my birth mother, rubbed it in Alaric Saltzman’s face, and then you tried to pick up Matt’s mom. You can forget it.”
Damon shifts. “Right.”
“Besides, didn’t you make a deal with Pearl so she can take you to your beloved Katherine?” Elena turns the wheel, finding a parking spot.
“Actually, no. She offered, I refused.”
Elena raises her eyebrows. “Why did you lie to us about it?”
Damon shrugs. “You didn’t believe that she was scary enough all on her own.” He leans closer. “She is.”
“You’re really over her, aren’t you?” It takes her by surprise.
“If I ever see that bitch again, it’ll be an eternity too soon.”
“You see me,” Elena says, tilting her face up to him. He moves until his is inches away, looking intently into her eyes.
“You are not Katherine,” he says. “When I look at you, I see Elena Gilbert, the most wonderful person I know. I don’t know why you look like her, but you know what? It doesn’t matter how close the resemblance is. You look like Elena to me.”
Elena stares back for a minute, then opens her door and gets out of the car. “Let’s just do this.”
He tries to shut her out, shut her down, when she wants to go in there to rescue Stefan with them. She hates it when he does that, but he looks right into her eyes and tells her he gets it and that’s when it hits her that Damon feels the exact same way as her about Stefan. She’s known it for a while, but now she feels it, and she sets it aside to think about another time. When she’s not so mad at him. That it’s a given she’ll forgive him at some point almost completely passes her by, but she doesn’t think about that either.
They get Stefan out of there, out and alive. Elena goes over to Matt’s as soon as Jeremy calls her about Vicki, and that and Stefan are all she thinks about until Uncle John shows up.
The night after Stefan comes back to school, Elena is getting into bed when she gets a text from Damon. Your boyfriend is driving me crazy. I need to either rip his heart out or fuck him senseless. Really not picky as to which.
She texts back, Damon. You will not dare.
A few seconds pass before her phone beeps. Call me and make it an order, and I’ll think about restraining myself. Or you could come here and restrain me. Stefan would help.
She calls him. “Damon,” in her most commanding tone of voice. “You will not kill Stefan.”
“Does that mean I can screw him?”
“No. Not tonight.”
“Not — Elena, are you saying what it sounds like you’re saying?”
“I … might be. Look, I’ll talk to him after this interview thing tomorrow, okay? Just don’t do anything until we‘ve talked it over.”
“What interview thing tomorrow?”
“It’s this Miss Mystic Falls beauty pageant thing, part of the Founder’s Day stuff.”
“You don’t sound too happy about it.” Damon’s voice has changed gear completely.
“Yeah, well, I signed up forever ago. Things were different back then.”
There’s a pause. “So did your mom ask you to do it?”
“Yeah, it — was really important to her. How did you know?”
“Well, I didn’t think it was your dad who asked.” Damon sounds … the same way he’s sounded a lot lately. Like he cares. Elena takes a deep breath.
“Listen, I’ll be really busy tomorrow, but I’ll talk to Stefan. I think I want to give this a try.”
“You do?” He says it softly, so full of hope. Elena’s heart is beating fast.
“Yeah, I do. Can we talk tomorrow, after the pageant?”
“Of course.” He inhales. “Listen, Elena — there are some things I need to apologise for.”
“Wow, really? You’re apologising?”
“Just, hear me out. I’m really sorry about Isobel. I didn’t know, and — I’m sorry. And I’m sorry about Vicki, I’m sorry about Jeremy, I’m sorry about Caroline, I’m sorry about Bonnie, I’m sorry about … everything.”
Elena takes it all in. “Apologies accepted. Are you … what are you doing?”
“Clearing the air. Getting anything that might stand in the way, out of it. Did I miss anything?”
“That you used to kill people?” She doesn’t particularly want to think about it, but he did ask.
“So did Stefan,” he points out. “We don’t any more.”
“See to it that you don’t, ever.”
“Is that an order?” His tone is playful, so she shuts it down with a commanding voice.
“Yes.”
“I’ll behave.” The change is instantaneous and surprising. She sort of believes him.
“Good.” Elena pauses. “Damon, how do you feel about Stefan?”
“What is this, like a test?”
“Just answer the question, please. I want to know. How do you feel?”
“I’m in love with him. Just like I’ve been for the past hundred and fifty years.”
“And how do you feel about me?”
“I’m in love with you,” Damon says, voice quiet. “Now it’s your turn.”
She cradles the phone closer. “I’m in love with Stefan,” she says, “and I care about you. I’m … I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“You think you’re falling?”
“I haven’t let myself think about it! I’m new to this, okay? Just give me some time.”
“If loving me is on the end of it, take however much you need.” He sounds like he’s smiling. “Hey, isn’t it time you got some sleep?”
“Yes. Will you be good and not do anything to Stefan?”
“Only because you told me to,” he says, flirty tone of voice back in place. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Elena.”
“Goodnight.” She holds the phone to her ear until she hears the dial tone, then clicks it off and pulls the blanket around her.
Stefan is in a brilliant mood the next day. He kisses her in the parking lot when he gets to school, they laugh about Ms Bell’s mistake in English the day before, and she checks that he’s definitely okay with chaperoning her to the pageant. “You’re free after school, right?”
“Of course I am. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun.” He smiles, and she slips her arm around his waist.
She broaches the subject at lunch. “I talked to Damon last night.”
He’s suddenly tense. “You did?”
“Yeah, I … wanted to give the three of us a try.”
Stefan looks up, startled. “Wait, you do?”
“Yeah, I — I think so. He apologised for a lot of things. I care about him. You — do you still want to?”
“I haven’t really — we were sort of fighting last night — not fighting fighting, just —”
“I figured. Damon was pretty mad. But … do you still want to?”
Stefan exhales and sits back. “Yeah, I do, just — this isn’t the best time for me and him.”
“That’s okay. We can wait until it’s a better time, I just … I wanted to talk to you about this.” She takes his hand. “Is it really what you want?”
He looks her right in the eye, and starts to smile. “You’re an amazing girlfriend, you know that?”
“Thank you. I’m not just doing it for you, for the record.”
“It’s still true.” He leans across the table and kisses her, a gentle kiss. She smiles into it.
She calls Damon after the dance rehearsal. “I have to go home now and get ready,” she says, “but I talked to Stefan.”
“What did he say?”
“That it’s not the best time for you and him right now. Is everything okay? He seemed edgy about it.”
Damon makes a small frustrated noise. “I have to go. He’s home, I need to talk to him. Everything is — it’s not okay. I’ll tell you when I see you.”
“Damon —” She sighs. “Okay. But make sure you do.”
“I know, Stefan told me about your whole honesty thing. I’ll make an effort.”
“I appreciate that.” They hang up, and Elena concentrates on her pageant butterflies.
Damon finds her at the pageant just as she’s about to get dressed. “You know what I said about honesty?”
“Now? Really, now?” She holds up her dress.
“You need to know this. I would have been happy, except for the council being on full alert, and this is really not the time for Stefan to lose control.”
“Stefan — what’s wrong with Stefan?”
“He’s still drinking human blood. He’s got a fridge full of blood bank contraband in the house, and this is not good.”
“What?”
“I talked to him earlier, I said I’d tell you if he didn’t.”
Stefan chooses that moment to open the door. Damon mutters that he’ll be downstairs, and leaves them to it.
As she’s putting her dress on, she thinks about the fight, about Damon and Stefan, about lies and trust and possibilities. What the hell am I going to do? No answer presents itself, so she waits with the other contestants, quietly freaking out and wishing she could be somewhere else.
It’s when she’s dancing with Damon, Stefan disappeared to who even knows where, that Elena realises she’s definitely falling in love with Damon. She’s not all the way there yet, but dancing with him, looking into his eyes, seeing the expression there and knowing what it means, her heart stutters and her mouth goes dry.
Damon is standing outside the cell when Elena gets back. “How is he?” are the first words out of her mouth.
“In the one hour it took you to grab some food, there was no change,” Damon says. “He’s still shaking.”
She looks in at him; he’s lying on the makeshift bed, shaking constantly, eyes closed. “Is he asleep?”
“Yeah. Well, this is boring. I’m going upstairs.” Damon’s footsteps recede, and Elena stays, looking into the cell for a minute.
She finds him in the sitting room, sprawled over an armchair. “He needs to eat.”
“I know. I’ve tried. He won’t even talk to me.”
Elena sighs. “Me either.” She drops down onto a couch. “I just don’t know what else I can do. How long will it take for the human blood to get out of his system?”
“It’s been almost a day, it should be gone by tomorrow.” Damon takes a sip of his drink. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m — I just worry. Will he be all right?”
Damon opens his arms. Elena smiles and shakes her head. “Come on,” he coaxes. “I think someone needs a hug.”
“Jackass,” she says, poking him in the side as she settles across him. He folds his arms around her, and she rests her head on his shoulder. “Since when do you hug people?”
“Since they’re my not-actually-but-sort-of girlfriend. What’s going on with that, anyway?” He’s smiling at her, almost emotionally open.
“Last time I talked to him about it, Stefan wanted to wait. So, we’re waiting.”
“Well that sucks.” He pauses until she’s raised her head to look at him properly before saying, quiet, “I really want to kiss you right now.”
Her breath hitches. “We can’t, not until —”
“Yeah, I know, not until Stefan says so. I’m not going to, I just — really want to.”
“Yeah,” she leans their foreheads together, “me too.”
She goes back downstairs and stands at the cell door for a while, watching Stefan sleep. He shifts and frowns.
She hears footsteps, and then Damon is behind her. “It’s late,” he says, touching her gently on the shoulder. “You should get some sleep.”
She just turns around and buries her face in his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her hair, just like Stefan does when anything’s wrong, and it feels different. With Stefan, when he holds her like this she feels like everything will be okay. Damon holding her makes her feel like things may not be okay, but she can deal with them.
Elena gets into Stefan’s bed and curls up on her side. She lies awake for a while, worrying, and when she’s finally half asleep, she feels the bed dip.
“I’m not going to do anything,” Damon whispers, “I promise. I just — is it okay?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, and he lies with his chest to her back, one arm around her. She laces their fingers together and falls asleep.
Stefan and Elena get back from Stefan’s suicide attempt, and Elena goes straight up to Stefan’s room. She sits on the bed and puts her head in her hands, crying silently for ten solid minutes. Shakily inhaling, she wipes her cheeks and gets up.
Damon is standing in the doorway. “Hey,” he says.
“Hey.” Elena brushes past him, and in the bathroom, she splashes cold water on her face. Damon and Stefan are both waiting in Stefan’s room when she gets back.
“Are you okay?” Stefan asks, rushing forward to hug her. She nods into his chest.
“I nearly lost you,” she whispers.
“I know. I’m sorry.” He kisses her hair.
“Look, if this is a bad time, I can —” Damon jabs a thumb at the door.
“Stefan, is — is he here so we can start this?” Elena asks, stepping out of his arms and looking back and forth between them.
“We talked,” Stefan says, “and if you still want to, we’re both willing to give it a try.”
“Please say that means I can kiss him now,” Damon adds, managing to sound annoyed. “And maybe punch him.”
“No punching,” Elena says. “You can kiss him, though.”
She expects to feel some of her old disgust at the sight of them kissing, but somewhere along the way, she accepted this the way she’s accepted everything else that’s different because they’re both vampires. Damon initiates the kiss, but Stefan kisses back like he’s been desperate to for years, and while Elena is blinking, Damon shoves Stefan into the wall. Stefan’s hands are in Damon’s hair, grasping handfuls, and Damon’s are tugging Stefan’s shirt up, undoing his buttons. It’s intense and she can’t look away.
Damon breaks the kiss once he has every shirt button undone. They stare at each other, and Damon says, “Can I kiss her now?”
“Not violently,” Stefan says. “Unless she likes that.” His eyes flick over to Elena.
“The violence is all for you,” Damon tells him, nudging their noses together in a gesture equal parts love and aggression. Then he turns and walks over to Elena, a genuine smile spreading over his face. “Hi,” he says when he’s standing an inch away.
“Hi,” she replies, wondering what this will be like.
Damon kisses her gently, like he’s afraid of breaking her. Elena opens her mouth and responds to it, soft presses of lips, the tips of their tongues brushing. Her whole body starts to tingle, mouth outwards, as he wraps his arms around her and gradually deepens the kiss. She brushes her fingertips over the back of his neck, the line of his jaw, the curve of his ear. Their tongues curl around each other and Elena whimpers.
The kiss slows, then stops. It takes a few moments for Elena’s eyes to open, but when they do, Damon is smiling at her.
Stefan is standing beside them. Elena turns her head and tilts it; Stefan takes the invitation and kisses her. They take it in turns undressing each other, always two on one, until Stefan and Elena are standing in their underwear and Damon is naked. He kisses her neck as Stefan’s tongue runs over her lips, and Elena feels like she’s melting.
She takes her bra off while Damon is kissing her. Stefan curls his tongue around each of her nipples in turn, and small noises escape into Damon’s mouth. The kiss shifts, breaks, Damon reaching for Stefan. Elena slides Stefan’s underwear over his hips and down as Damon kisses him with a focus that keeps them perfectly still. Elena kisses a line over Stefan’s chest, then over Damon’s.
Stefan lays her on the bed gently, and Damon slowly pulls her underwear down. He dips his head, the tip of his tongue finding her clit. She arches, opens her legs wider, and Damon flicks his tongue, side to side. Elena has no idea where Stefan is or what he’s doing; her eyes are closed, her entire body focused on the sensation of Damon’s tongue, swirling and flicking in an ever-changing and completely incredible rhythm.
She’s just feeling like she never, ever wants this to end when Damon stops. She opens her eyes; Stefan has his arms around Damon, is whispering something into his ear. Damon looks at him with that expression Elena’s seen sometimes when she commands him to do things, and suddenly realises that it’s arousal.
Stefan kneels over her. “What do you want me to do?” he asks, soft.
She lets her legs fall open. He licks his lips, then shifts further up her body. She angles her hips, looks at Damon over his shoulder, and smiles at him. He smiles back.
Damon enters Stefan a few seconds after Stefan enters Elena; she can feel the momentum and Stefan’s reaction. He kisses her shoulder, moaning quietly, as Damon thrusts into him in a harsh rhythm that Stefan turns soft when it gets to Elena. She arches and exhales, eyes closed. With Stefan it’s always amazing, but with Damon too it’s somehow better, even more intense. Stefan inside her with Damon’s momentum feels unbelievable.
She opens her eyes when she feels fingers on her clit; Stefan is holding himself up with both arms, so Elena looks further down. Damon has both arms around Stefan’s waist, one hand between his and Elena’s bodies. He smiles at her knowingly, fingertips circling, and her head falls back.
Damon and Stefan keep up a relentless rhythm. Elena looks into Stefan’s face and sees what Damon was talking about; his mouth is open, neck arching up and down, eyes mostly closed. It’s the way he looks when they’re having sex in his favourite position, but more so, and Elena waits until his eyes open to kiss him. He kisses her with a ferocious intensity, and Damon’s fingers speed up. She breaks the kiss to arch up and cry out, feeling the build of orgasm. Stefan thrusts into her just right, Damon’s fingers flick and circle, and she comes, Stefan’s mouth on her nipples, her hands gripping the pillows, almost yelling it’s so good. At the very last crest of it, they both do a simultaneous upwards movement, and her orgasm breaks harder. She lets out a hoarse scream, arching up toward them, and then the orgasm is over.
Stefan pulls out of her, Damon’s hand back on his stomach. Her afterglow sets in as she watches them, fucking harsh and relentless, Damon jerking Stefan off and leaving open-mouthed kisses all over his back. For all that it’s aggressive and violent — as much as they can be while staying in the same place — Elena notices that there’s a tenderness to Damon’s kisses. He looks like a man who’s been desperate for this for a really long time.
Stefan comes after a while. Elena has never seen him come without her being involved before. The lack of semen has always been a jarring thing when she’s blown him, but somehow here she doesn’t notice. He shakes and moans with it, Damon watching all he can see of Stefan’s face with a soft expression Elena is glad to see. “Come on,” she realises Damon is murmuring, “for me.”
Damon keeps thrusting in after Stefan’s come. Stefan pushes back onto him while Damon bites his shoulder, eyes perfectly blue and locked onto Elena. He starts making noises, building in volume, until he shudders into Stefan, whispering, “Stefan — Elena — fuck.”
They crawl over to her and collapse, Stefan in the middle. “Was that worth waiting a century?” Stefan asks, a teasing smile on his face.
“Shut up,” Damon answers, smacking him on the thigh.
Elena takes Stefan’s hand and smiles at him. “That was amazing,” she sighs.
“I take it you’re happy with this arrangement?” Damon grins at her.
She wriggles closer to Stefan, curling up against him, and reaches across his chest to stroke her hand down Damon’s stomach. “Very happy,” she says, and Damon gives her a genuine smile for it. He turns, curls into Stefan’s other side, and tangles their hands together over his chest.
Stefan kisses Elena’s hair, then Damon’s. “Is anybody going to ask if I’m happy?” he says, teasing smile still in place.
Elena and Damon’s eyes meet. They nod at each other, and simultaneously grab pillows to hit Stefan with. He laughs, holding his hands up. “Stop, stop, I’m happy!”
They put the pillows back and settle onto his chest again. Damon smiles at her, stroking along her fingers with his, and she smiles back. She kisses Stefan’s chest and lets her eyes drift closed.
“You know I’m going to want morning sex, right?” Damon says.
“Shut up,” Stefan and Elena chorus sleepily. Damon laughs softly.
“No, but seriously, I’ll want more sex when we wake up,” he continues.
“What do you think we usually do?” Stefan asks.
“Excellent,” Damon says, and Elena falls asleep smiling.