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"It's not the same thing," I told him, rolling up to the back door.
"Starsky, it is, too," Hutch laughed at me. "Just because you didn't know what it was at the time doesn't mean you can not like it now."
"It was a dirty thing to do, then."
"Shhh," he cut me off.
Raising his fingers to his lips, he pointed to the door. I looked at him, questioning. He raised his fist and started pounding. "Police! Open up!"
I heard noises inside before Anna opened the door. "Shh!" she warned.
"What?" Hutch asked, looking innocent.
"Katie's sleeping."
I hit him on the arm. "See! You're gonna wake up the baby."
"How was I supposed to know?" He shrugged, going inside. "I'm not psychic."
"Psychotic, though," I teased.
"You two," she laughed, reaching for her brother to give him a hug. "Mom said you were coming to visit."
"We would've been here sooner if your brother wasn't such a slow-poke," I said, smiling at her as she leaned down for a hug.
"I'm not the one who..."
"No!" I cut him off. "Don't try to save face in front of your sister. She knows you, she's lived with you."
"Yeah, but you've put up with him for a whole lot longer than I have," Anna said.
"Both of you ganging up on me? I may have to take offense."
"Don't pout," she said, taking his arm. "Just come in and relax."
I followed them to the living room. "Yeah, Hutch, go ahead and relax for a while. You've been driving me crazy all day."
"We were behind schedule," Hutch said as he sank down on the sofa.
"We're on vacation. Schedules are for work."
"Can I get you anything? Maybe some coffee?"
"Coffee sounds great," Hutch said, leaning back on the sofa.
"I'll help you," I offered.
"That's okay, I can manage."
"He just wants to raid the kitchen," Hutch teased.
"At least one of us is a gentleman," I said, sticking my tongue out at him as I followed Anna into the kitchen. She went over to the cabinets to grab the coffee cups and I parked myself beside the table. It just happened to be a table that had a plate full of cookies on it.
"So," I said, reaching for one, "When does Joe get back from his business trip?"
"He's....umm....not really on one," she said, gripping the counter.
"What?" My hand retreated without its prize.
She turned to look at me. "He's staying at his brother's house right now."
I reached my hand out towards her. "Come sit down." She grabbed my hand and sat down at the table with me. "Why is Joe staying at David's?"
"We're, um, working through some things," she said, looking down.
"Oh, Anna."
She looked back up at me. "It's nothing new. We were having problems before Katie was born; you know that. It's just come back again."
"How long's he been gone?"
"Three days, not long." She sighed. "We were stupid to think that we'd be okay. After Katie, everything was going great for a while and then..."
"It wasn't," I put in.
"Yeah."
"Do your parents know?"
She started shaking her head and looking up at me. "Nobody does. We were going to see if we could talk it out before telling anyone."
"You have to tell them eventually, you know?"
"I just...I don't know what to say to them."
"Tell them the truth. They'll be there for you, for both of you. Katie's gonna start asking questions later on and you need somebody there you can rely on."
"I just feel like I failed somehow. Like I didn't try hard enough."
"It's not about trying hard or doing all the right things. Life's not always fair, but there's a reason for it all."
She squeezed my hand. "Spoken like a man who's been there." Her eyes were sad. "But you had Ken on the other side of it all. Who do I have? I'm alone."
"You're not alone. You have us, me and your brother and your parents. You have friends that care for you and family that loves you. Don't forget that."
"I know, but it....it just hurts sometimes. What am I supposed to do?"
"Live through it, survive it." I kissed her hand. "It's gonna hurt, but you've just got to keep going through the day until it hurts less and eventually you can be happy again."
She nodded, understanding. She got up and gave me a hug before excusing herself to get the coffee finished. She had to get her emotions in check before rejoining her brother in the living room. Apparently we were taking too long because Hutch came looking for us.
"Are you eating her out of house and home in here?" he asked, coming through the door.
"No, just chocolate and walnuts," I teased, reaching for the forgotten cookie.
"Don't be down on Starsky," Anna said as she turned around, no sign of the previous conversation's emotions on her face. She handed over his coffee. "He can have whatever he wants."
"See, your sister loves me," I said, smiling up at him.
"Oh, so now I've got to prove my love with food?" he teased, leaning down for a kiss.
"Nah, I know you love me," I said, taking a bite of my cookie. "But food would certainly sweeten the deal." I backed away from the table. "Now, come on, let's go back to the living room."
Hutch followed me into the living room with his coffee, Anna trailing behind. I was determined to make this a happy visit, get Anna's mind off the bad things that were happening, at least for a little while. She sat down on the couch with Hutch and I pulled up near them.
"So what else did your mom tell you?" I asked.
Anna smiled. "Just that you and Ken were having a good time and that you were looking forward to seeing Katie before you left."
"Did she also tell you how Starsky has been harassing me for the past five days that if I didn't make it over here before we left he'd do me bodily harm?"
"It was mentioned," she laughed.
"I missed her, what can I say?" I smiled.
"Well, she misses you, too. She only went for a nap when I promised her that you'd be here when she woke up."
"Her drawing's got a permanent place on the refrigerator back home," Hutch said. "Starsky points it out to everybody that comes to visit."
"She's a talented little girl," I said. I noticed movement off to the side, by the doorframe. A pair of blue eyes were peeking out.
"Uncle Starsky!" Katie yelled, running towards me as fast as her little legs would allow.
I bent down to scoop her up when she got close enough. "Ooooh," I groaned, setting her on my legs. "You're getting too big. Pretty soon you'll be all grown up."
"I'm a big girl now. I'm three," she giggled, her gapped smile shining.
"Going on twenty-five," Anna put in.
"She's growing up so fast," Hutch said, admiring his niece.
"But you're still my Katie-Bear, aren't you?" I asked, hugging her small frame.
She nodded in agreement. "Did you get my picture?"
"I was just telling your mommy that I love it. You did a really good job."
"I did it all by myself. It's so you remember me until I can come and visit." She turned towards her mom. "When are we going to visit Uncle Starsky and Uncle Ken?"
"Four more months, remember?"
"That's right," she said, turning back to me. "Then I get to come see you at your house."
"And we're gonna have a lot of fun, right?"
She nodded, happy. "And Uncle Ken's gonna take me to the ocean."
"That's right. And we can collect some seashells for Uncle Starsky."
"Fun!"
We laughed at her enthusiasm. She had been to the ocean once before, the last time she had come to visit, but she was so young that she couldn't remember it. This would be like an all-new adventure for her.
"And I get to ride on a big plane," Katie continued.
"And when you get there me and your Uncle Starsky will have a surprise for you."
"Bribing the child?" I teased him.
"Positive reinforcement." He winked.
I laughed at him as I readjusted Katie's legs, allowing her to be more settled on my lap. That's when I noticed the band-aid on her leg.
"What happened?" I asked, pointing to it.
"A bee bit me," she said, frowning.
My eyes widened. "Did you cry?"
"Big girls don't cry." She paused, thinking. "Well, maybe a little."
"I bet you were really brave," I told her.
"Uh huh. And mommy made it feel better."
"Well, that was very nice of her," I told her, looking over Katie's head to Anna.
Anna nodded. "Scared me to death, too."
"I can imagine," Hutch said, leaning back on the couch.
"She came running in the house and her leg was already red. I was afraid she'd get a reaction or something, but she seemed okay."
"Can't be too careful," I told her. "Especially if this was the first time."
"I keep telling myself I'm not going to be an over-protective mother and then she gets hurt and all bets are off," she laughed.
"Uncle Starsky?" Katie started tugging on my sleeve, trying to get my attention back on her.
"Hmm?"
"What would happen if a bee bit you here?" She pointed to the same place on my leg where the bee had stung hers.
"Well, I wouldn't like it one bit."
"Would you cry?"
"No, baby, I probably wouldn't cry 'cause I couldn't feel it."
"Because you can't walk?" she asked me.
"Yep. A hundred bees could sting me and I wouldn't feel it."
Her eyes went big in amazement. "Wow."
She looked down at my leg again, where she had pointed before. Katie had never known her Uncle Starsky out of the wheelchair. She just accepted that some people, like her Uncle Ken, used their legs to get around and some people, like her Uncle Starsky, used a wheelchair. Her mind couldn't fully understand the intricacies of what that meant, but she just thought it was perfectly normal that I couldn't walk. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it even more because I could ride her around.
Looking back up, she told me, "Uncle Starsky, you're brave."
"Why's that, Katie-Bear?"
"The bees can't make you cry."
I smiled and hugged her. She was right about that, the bees couldn't make me cry. In her eyes, that made her Uncle Starsky a very brave man. I could deal with that.