Chapter Text
Bad habits were like roaches that won’t die easily, an ugly stain that won’t go away.
Unsurprisingly, Rin had plenty of those; never on time, never paid attention, never stopped to think, never took matters seriously. He probably looked careless, but deep down he really did care. Actually, he was insecure and wore his heart on his sleeve. He cared about the world, the world who hated him just for existing but fuck that he still cared. Mostly everyone seemed to hate him, so he would love to lose all of his bad habits, his ugly flaws and mistakes, and his damned heritage. He constantly yearned to be the opposite of what everyone saw him: a dangerous demon weapon for the Vatican.
But this one bad habit. This one, he wouldn’t bother to stop.
He had done some horrible mistakes in his life, but he wouldn’t count this one as bad. He was helping others...
And he was sure his old man wouldn’t mind. Supposedly this was a cool thing, a very cool thing that only Rin could do. His old man once told him, “I want you to become a cool guy with lots of friends who's loved by girls!” And damn, he was going to take that advice to heart.
That fateful day was a stomp on the fragile line of patience. People were wary of him and the Vatican tolerated him at the barest minimum, but he always managed to get away. Despite the chances of losing his very life that day, Rin surely didn’t regret it because he assumed everything would work out in the end.
The mission was to locate and apprehend a group of demon sorcerers that escaped the Vatican dungeons. They were supposed to be executed today because they held the threat of opening a secret passageway for demons to enter into Assiah. When they escaped, a small group of high-ranked exorcists was assigned to take care of the job. Simple as that, but the thing was, they were too slow to catch the group.
The mission wasn’t tasked to Rin, but to his younger four-eyed, mole-faced Yukio instead. Rin could tease and mock his brother all he wanted, but it couldn’t hide the fact that his little brother was much better than him.
He didn’t like how Yukio was the one entrusted, so he stepped ahead of his brother and took care of the group. When he caught up to them, they immediately summoned demons with such strength that Rin had to resort to his flames. It took a while, but he managed to burn them effortlessly to the ground. When the assigned exorcists finally arrived, it was no surprise that they were suddenly ordered to detain Rin. It was all thanks to Shura and Yukio that saved his ass.
Hey, in his defense, those prisoners were going to be executed today anyway! So the use of his flames was reasonable enough to keep him out of a trial or any jail time—nonetheless, many of the exorcists and the Vatican continued to despise him.
Still, Rin didn't let that bother him. He was more intrigued, really. Not because the mission was done solely by him, or aggravating exorcists, or miraculously staying out of trouble once again.
It was the way those blue flames danced across their skins.
Rin didn’t admit it out loud, but there was something within him that pulsed out in pleasure as he watched those bodies collapse to the ground around him in royal blue flames. The prisoners were crying out, writhing, shrieking under the wrath of his power. The flames that surrounded Rin had burned brighter, syncing in with his amusement. Like, was he actually enjoying this? The teen hadn’t realized he was grinning until the exorcists arrived at the scene. The bodies were properly disposed of and everything was dealt with.
After that day, Rin discovered that this was the first time he had burned people with his flames.
But was he feeling bad about it? Well, no.
...No?
He was sure his old man had to have killed some people. He was a priest, but he had a dangerous line of work. Demons lurked around in society’s shadows; civilians get involved, innocents get killed, and the Vatican always swept up the mess.
The mission bothered Rin to an extent, but he had done it for a good cause. He killed some people for the first time ever, big deal, so why couldn’t he stop thinking about it?
As he lied down on his bed with his hands raised above him, he stared at his palms, white and pale under the moonlight, and remembered when they used to be bruised all the time. He kind of missed getting into fights; it made him feel good stopping those who were doing their bad habits. Now that he was a half-demon, he couldn’t possibly get away with a simple scuffle easily. It was already a hassle trying to keep his head every day.
But...he could ignite a small flame and let it dance across his arm, and it wouldn’t leave even a scratch. Sometimes it was strange to let the fact sink in; that he was able to summon fire he could truly call his own. But it was also a strange feeling, to remember the pain that fire can cause back when he was still human. He had never tried hurling himself into a pit of ordinary fire, but since he was immune to his own flames, it was an idea he entertained. Maybe his immunity works on ordinary fires too?
Rin barked out a laugh, and he didn't care how loud it was. Yukio wouldn't be back until past midnight due to a mission, anyway. Didn't people call those thoughts ‘intrusive thoughts?' Well, the idea wasn't completely far-fetched, but Rin wouldn’t throw himself into a pit fire. He wasn't as stupid as Yukio always claimed he was.
Maybe he could throw not himself, but someone else.
He did it.
As he watched the man in front of him struggle to put out his flames, Rin frowned and asked himself what the hell he was doing.
And why wasn’t he feeling as bad as he should be? What the hell was wrong with him?
First of all, the man was a wanted robber and the police were still looking for him. Since Rin grew up in a monastery, he was well aware of what was bad and good, so wouldn't this count as good? He was doing a favor to the police, anyway. He wasn't going to reduce the body into ashes, he’d just leave it on the ground for the police to pick up. They wouldn’t have to look for him anymore, because Rin caught the robber for them!
Smiling at his inference, Rin flared his flames brighter and listened to the man’s dying screams. A pained cry broke out, clearer than the rest, “I-I just needed the money for my child!”
The teen blinked, surprised the man was still alive in his condition. “Are you kidding me? There are a lot of other ways to get the damn money, you thief!” He leaned back and chuckled light-heartedly, “Oh well, you’ll have to pay eventually.”
The man continued to scream and beg, asking for mercy, but Rin ignored him and watched the show at a safe distance. He let the blue fire dance, and it flickered across his eyes in a captivating beauty. It wasn’t long before the body crumpled to the ground, his body scorched to the point it was almost unidentifiable. The blue fire around them instantly died when he sheathed his sword, and the dark shadows that surrounded Rin remained. The dark alley he stood on suddenly felt colder, and Rin found himself missing his flames.
An eerie silence followed as the teen reluctantly knelt down next to the corpse, inspecting the charred skin. His lips quivered at the horrified expression permanently seared on his face.
Rin took a deep breath, only to smell the rotten stench of burning flesh, and he gagged. With tears in his eyes, he stood up to walk away. He hesitantly looked back twice, hoping he'd never see the carcass again.
What the hell did he just do?!
He got home in labored breaths, and he probably looked like he was running away from something. Kuro glanced at him but said nothing. Rin gave a nervous greeting and tried to get his mind off by cooking, but it got worse when he turned on the stove and the fire grimly reminded him of his victim's bitter end. The smell of cooking beef reminded him of the smell of burning corpses, and he shook his head in distress. It smelled utterly awful. In fact, he could still smell it.
Wait a minute, it must be on him!
Rin suddenly dropped the stirring spoon and turned off the stove. He ran into the bathroom and haphazardly ripped all his clothes off while trying not to break down. He quickly jumped in and twisted the shower knob to freezing cold water. He needed to calm down; maybe the cold water could slap him to his senses. He scrubbed his skin raw and made sure the smell of burning flesh was gone. The calming citrus scent of his shampoo eventually swamped his senses and Rin gave out a cry of relief.
Once he felt safe to step outside of the bathroom, he prepared a nice dinner and slowly ate his portion. He kept the leftovers in the fridge for Yukio to pull out when he got home. He changed into his pajamas and met up with Kuro in the bedroom. They chatted for a bit, but Rin made sure not to say anything about burning a live person. Kuro didn't look suspicious, and he meowed Rin a good night as they both got into their beds.
Still, Rin couldn't sleep. What was he thinking, deciding to burn someone to death with his flames?
At least he got it all out. The smell was gone, the police got their robber, and Kuro didn't even suspect anything. He didn't leave anything to note back there, so nobody should suspect it was him, right?
He hated it, but deep down Rin knew he’ll soon come to love the scent.