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"Why are we doing this, again?" Andrew whined.
Xander sighed, having asked himself the same thing many times. "Because someone in this neighborhood has been eating door-to-door salesmen and we have to find out who."
"Whom," Andrew absently corrected.
Xander shot him another annoyed look, but then shrugged. "Whatever. And it's more likely a "what" anyways. Giles doesn't think this fits the vamp M.O., since they'd need an invite to get into the house, so we're probably looking for a demon."
Andrew stayed quiet for a moment, but then kicked into whining gear again. "But why do we have to be the ones doing it? I mean, won't Buffy have to come kick the bad guy's wooly tail back to Hoth anyways? Why doesn't she just pretend to sell this stuff?"
Xander frowned. "I believe Giles suggested that, but Anya and Kennedy pointed out that pretty girls don't sell Amway. Apparently people who actually need this stuff won't buy it from someone prettier than them. Or something like that - I don't know, there was a lot of giggling."
"But what if the demon tries to eat us?"
"That's why there are two of us. While the demon tries to eat you, I run and call Buffy."
"That's not funny. I refuse to die as something boring, like a salesman."
"Uh huh." Xander silently vowed to make the girls suffer somehow once they got back.
"I'm beginning to suspect that this is an elaborate "punk'd" style prank."
"A what?' Xander quickly held up his hand, "wait, never mind, I don't want to know."
They walked for a minute in silence before Xander spoke up again. "I don't even know what to say to the people who answer - I mean the ones that are actually people. I don't know anything about this Amtrak or Ampersand or whatever it is."
"Amway. And its easy: the Artistry Essentials Botanical Spa Collection hydrates and soothes, the Artistry Time Defiance line has Vitamin C and wild yam in it, and everyone looks good in our essentials Mineral Foundation."
Xander was only able to stare for a long minute before he could reply. "You are a sad, strange little man."