Chapter Text
It all happens rather quickly.
Farlan and Isabel die rather quickly. And Levi is forced to listen - to stand idly by - and hear it happen, as Erwin physically holds him back, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders. And it's not that he doesn't fight it, kicking and screaming at his Commander, but Erwin has the advantage. Erwin is taller, stronger, and he hears it before Levi does.
And Levi feels like an idiot for ever trusting the man. He feels completely betrayed.
He almost kills him right then and there, just as soon as Erwin releases him - just as soon as some of Erwin's better men take the deviant down - but he doesn't. He holds himself back, because for some reason, he wants it to be intimate. He wants it to be personal. He wants to be able to tell Erwin just what he thinks of him before watching his blood spill over his blades. Because that's the poetic way to do it. Not with a rifle or with his hands, but with the very blades that Erwin had given him when he'd first joined the Survey Corps.
So he doesn't kill him right away. No, he waits. He waits, because he knows that they have a long journey back to camp, where their horses and their supplies wait. And he knows that, for part of that journey, he'll get the chance to be alone with Erwin.
So he waits.
He waits until they're in the middle of the forest, surrounded by thick trees, rain pounding on their backs. A flash of lightning streaks across the sky, and when Levi strikes, it's at the same time as the clap of thunder that follows.
He catches Erwin off guard, slamming into him mid-air, causing him to lose control of his gear - missing the tree that he'd been aiming for - and sending him plummeting to the ground. Erwin recovers, and he attempts to regain control of his fall, but only half of his gear works, one side having been rendered useless by Levi's blow, and isn't that just convenient? Levi can just tell the squad that Erwin's gear stopped working. That he'd realized it too late and a titan had got to him first.
Erwin tries to stop himself, but only manages to anchor onto a tree with the left side of his maneuver gear, and while it slows his fall down, it doesn't stop him from tumbling once he reaches the ground, stopping a few meters off from where he initially hits. Levi follows, slow and graceful, landing easily on his feet before Erwin. And before the other man stands, he already has his blades drawn.
Levi's going to kill him.
Erwin stands, brushing himself off, and when he glances up at Levi, he freezes. Levi, all steady hands and dangerous eyes, holds the blades up to Erwin's neck, and by the look in Erwin's eyes, it clicks. He seems to take the hint - the warning - and raises his hands up in surrender, lowering himself to kneel on the forest floor once more.
It isn't until then that Levi's hands begin to shake, rage bubbling up in his chest.
Erwin had let them die. He'd heard their screams and he'd done nothing. Nothing, but stand there, hold Levi back, and listen. He knew that they were dying, and he did nothing to stop it. He didn't even try.
And Levi feels like an idiot for ever having trusted him. Because sure, in the beginning, he swore that he'd kill Erwin the second that he got the chance, but then he got to know him. He got the chance to understand his passion and his pride. Then, Erwin had decided to place some trust in him, and who would Levi be to not give that same trust back in return? Even Farlan and Isabel had agreed that maybe, he wasn't as bad as he had seemed in the beginning. Hell, even they started to trust him.
Levi wants to scoff. They wouldn't now. He wonders if they still had that stupid, blind trust for Erwin as the titan had ripped them apart.
It's pouring and the wind is blowing and Levi is shaking, and he can't tell if it's because he's cold or angry or terrified. Maybe it's a little bit of all three.
"You let them die," He hisses at last, when Erwin doesn't even say anything. The man just looks up at him expectantly, and it makes Levi want to kick his face in, but he holds himself back. He wants Erwin to know exactly how he feels.
He wants the emotionless bastard in front of him to feel his pain before he slices into him.
"I did what I had to," Erwin replies calmly. His hands have fallen to his sides, but he doesn't reach for a weapon. In fact, he almost looks relaxed, save for the hard look on his face, and that only angers Levi more.
"You sat back like a coward," Levi spits.
Surprisingly, Erwin doesn't argue that. Instead, he's silent for a moment, as more lightning flashes across the sky, before he asks, tone soft, "Are you going to kill me, Levi?"
And Levi can't help the way his face twists up in anger, hands trembling. Water drips off of his brow and onto the forest floor, and suddenly, he's acutely aware of everything going on around them - of the sound of the raindrops hitting the trees, of the small flashes of lightning off in the distance. Of the way that Erwin looks up at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.
"The reason I joined the Survey Corps was, Erwin," Levi mutters, voice like venom as he leans in close, "So I could kill you."
And he expects there to be fear in Erwin's eyes at those words. Because for a man who's spent his life fighting titans, there's no way he'd ever expect that it would end like this, at the hands of another man. But to Levi's surprise, his expression doesn't change. He doesn't flinch away from the blade pressing dangerously against his neck.
Instead, he straightens out his posture slightly, knees digging into the wet ground. "Then do it," He mutters softly. It's a challenge, Levi knows it.
And while he's dying to accept, he suddenly finds that he can't.
He's not sure what does it, but suddenly, he realizes that the shaking in his hands isn't from the cold or the anger, it's from fear and frustration the overwhelming grief weighing down his body. And the pounding in his chest isn't of excitement or rage, but of uncertainty. And while he wants to fucking hate Erwin for the way that he closes his eyes and accepts his fate, he can't. He can’t, and he doesn't know why.
He doesn't know why, but he can't make the move. He can't pull the blade back and cut, just as he'd been planning only moments ago. It had seemed so easy in his head but now... Now, he's not so sure. Because what if he's making the wrong choice? What would Farlan and Isabel think? He's killed before, and for them too, but...
But would it be worth it?
Would killing the one man whom he'd placed his trust in, for the first time in a long time, be worth it? Because after that blow, he'd be alone. No Farlan, no Isabel. Nobody, not even Erwin.
He's never been certain if he's made the right choices in his life, and still, staring down at Erwin on the wet ground, he can't decide which choice he'll regret more. Let him live, and possibly risk his own life in return, or kill him, and be free. Let him live and move on, or kill him, and hold onto that anger that he's kept bottled up inside of him for his entire life.
Erwin doesn't move, and neither does Levi, and ultimately, it's the tell-tale sound of loud, thudding footsteps that makes the decision for him.
Levi jerks his head sharply to the right, searching out the sound, and when he hears it again, he realizes that it's not just one, but two sets of footsteps, heading straight in their direction and getting louder by the second. Yet there he stands, shaking on the forest floor, Erwin on his knees before him. And while he doesn't say anything, his gaze says it all -
What's it going to be, Levi?
- and he makes his choice.