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Vanille watched the arrow disappear into a bush. Five feet away from the plant, a deer stiffened. Startled, it dashed away, disappearing into the wooded area.
"It's hopeless, I won't ever be able to hunt again," she muttered. That had been her best opportunity all day at bringing back meat for dinner.
Vanille and Fang were living in the outskirts of various towns, wandering around the new world. Binding rods were impossible to find, so Vanille had chosen the only other weapon she knew how to use, a bow. But it had been over thirteen years since she had used one. She had felt as if she had forgotten everything.
"Hey now, relax," Fang soothed as she crouched beside an adjacent tree. "You know better than anyone that if you get yourself worked up over it, you won't be able to hit anything. Including me."
Vanille softly punched her lover’s arm, rolling her eyes. "Be quiet, Fang. You know I'm more than capable of that."
"'Course you are." She laughed, jokingly retaliating with an elbow to the side. "And I know you can get good at using the bow again. You just need to feel that way too. Let's head back to camp. Jerky and rice for dinner is fine with me."
---
Now that Vanille could no longer hear the souls of the dead, life was definitely better. She was excited to live and to travel the world with the woman that she loved. Still, she had her reservations. Thirteen years in Luxerion had made her feel fragile, since she had been restricted within the cathedral’s walls for nearly all of that time. The staff and her attendants had done nearly everything for her, even folding her own clothes. She wondered if she still had the strength and cunning adjust to life amongst the wilderness.
Unlike her partner, Fang had nearly picked up right where she left off as a skillful hunter of Oerba, finely in tune with nature. But that was to be expected. After all, she had heard the stories from Fang herself about the Dead Dunes. There it was much like Gran Pulse: survive or be killed.
In order to get better at using her weapon, she practiced shooting with the bow every night while Fang nursed the fire or took care of other menial chores. Large, rotten fruits fifty paces or more away were ideal targets.
"You hit most of them, so you're doing a great job. Just keep telling yourself that," Fang told her one night after she whined over a particularly awry shot. Vanille had decided right then that she needed a mantra to repeat to herself to internalize the positive words that Fang was giving her. She picked a simple phrase: steady, you can do this.
After a couple of weeks, she finally hit targets one hundred fifty paces away at a consistent rate. Fang wasn't around to experience her excitement, as the older woman was down by the river washing some of their clothes. Vanille decided that it was time; she'd leave tomorrow.
---
The next morning, Vanille made her announcement after breakfast. "Fang, you don't have to worry about getting meat today. I'll get a deer for us by myself."
Fang gave her a huge grin and thumbs up in return.
Steady, you can do this.
---
Two hours in, she decided to pass on the first doe that she tracked. It twitched too much, which meant that she couldn't find a clean shot at its heart. Disappointed, she reminded herself that there were plenty of others in this wood. Most of them were oblivious to faraway noise, which was the reason why they were staying in the area for so long. Her patience paid off as she was able to find another one, this time a buck. To keep her scent away, she’d placed herself downwind of the animal.
Vanille drew her bow, but hesitated. What if she missed when it was important? She pictured Fang frowning at the news of her failure.
She shook her head and placed the arrow on the ground. No. Not only was that not true, but it wasn't fair to herself. Why act defeated before she even took action? She needed to believe that she was going to be successful.
Steady, you can do this.
Vanille redrew the bow and aligned her sights onto the shoulder of the animal, where she knew the heart and lungs would be. She let go of the bowstring, focused only on the target ahead of her.
She watched the deer limp away hastily, the arrow sticking out of its ankle. It was a useless shot, only piercing bone.
Even worse was the realization that the deer wasn't worth pursuing further. There wouldn't be much blood to track, plus there wasn’t much time before sunset. It would simply be foolish to continue hunting. She whimpered as she imagined the poor animal in pain. If only she hadn’t missed, then she could have spared it a longer, more drawn out death.
Time to call it quits, she thought as she trudged eastward. If she couldn't get meat, the least she could do was to find some edible berries on the way back. She struggled to keep her mind off of the missed shot.
---
"Fang, I couldn't-" Vanille failed to finish her own sentence when she returned, as she felt her throat closing. She wanted to cry, but knew that it wouldn't fix anything.
Fang sat by the fire, sharpening a knife. Coming back empty-handed was the only necessary message she needed to receive. Once they made eye contact she immediately placed it next to their tent. "Come here. Sit next to me."
The younger woman placed her satchel of berries near the knife before honoring the request. The warmth was comforting as they enjoyed the silence for a few moments.
"Do you know how proud you've made me feel today?" Fang asked with excitement, putting an arm around Vanille as she nuzzled her neck.
"Proud?" She replied, confused. "But I didn't get the deer I’d promised you."
Fang moved her head back as they faced one another. "Alright, you didn't get it. So what? You're still relearning everything. Anyways, what I really care about was the way you talked to me this morning. You had this confidence about you when you told me you were going hunting. And that didn't come from me." With her free hand she motioned to the woman beside her. "It came from you."
"Yeah, I guess it did." It was a good point. When she set out that morning, Vanille had decided she was going to be successful. It was a much more optimistic outlook than the one she had taken during her other recent attempts at hunting. She had done that all on her own. Maybe there was something to celebrate.
"And that confidence looked really good on you, too." They both grinned at that statement. Fang kissed her forehead and gripped her into a tight hug. "Seriously, though. I want you to feel like that about yourself more often," she said softly.
“Thanks, Fang. I really mean it,” Vanille replied. As they watched the fire, she made a silent promise to keep trying to make improvements—for both of them.