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It might have been there since the beginning. It was somewhere in their first embrace after seemingly spending decades apart. They lingered, tucked into one another and unwilling to let go for a couple seconds too long to be casual. They yielded to their dignity in case someone was watching. Sheepish grins on their faces and little nervous ticks filling the space created in between.
Their shared movie night snacks and what some called balcony dates that followed were a riddled with it. It allowed Genji to wear Jesse’s warm clothes for comfort and it allowed Jesse to spew endearments left and right.
Although this sentiment, this closeness, rested somewhere inside the both of them, they chose to ignore it. For the time being, both thought. Genji could get by with a little more of waiting, there are more pressing and greater matters to attend to. He could content himself with seeing Jesse daily. Jesse was used to take whatever he could get and be happy with it, be it scrapes for food or the satisfaction of the need his feelings placed into his mind.
Not a word was spoken of it, not a meaningful look exchanged for the longest time. One gets used to it, learns to muffle the yearning with the fulfillment of friendship, and the desire for more stays tucked into the back of the mind, always present, but not burning a hole in one’s mind anymore. Until the moment it awakens again and scorches everything around.
The dam Genji built inside himself to keep away from pursuing his reconciliation with Jesse comes undone when a stakeout mission goes wrong.
They weren’t supposed to engage in general, the whole organization was illegal and ought to be kept secret, everything they got to do was mere recon. Engaging the enemy wasn’t something they did here for the time being. Genji is not called to lift their agents out, but he does get notified of the situation by Athena. He stalks around his room to calm himself for a few seconds, then decides to head for the hangars to help. He expects to meet his master there and try like the true professional he is. Some others have gathered by the landing floor as well, talking in a tight herd further away. Nobody wanted to get in the way, but at the same time were eager to come to help if needed. The extraction team was his two old teammates and his master.
Genji decided to take advantage and weasel himself in as his master's helper. If Tekhartha Zenyatta could conjure facial expressions his mouth would be scrunched into a sour scowl and aimed in the cyborgs direction. They will have a lot to talk about before meditation, Genji thinks to himself while he stares at the ceiling of the transport and tries to even out his breaths.
---
Jesse blearily watches agent D.va have a brief exchange with someone over the comms, she has to confirm whether they made it to the extraction point or not. They have. Hana sits next to him and looks like the biggest defeatist he’s ever had the mispleasure of meeting. This was her first outing on a business and it didn’t go as smoothly as she would have wanted. Jesse got ambushed while she went to buy a soda at some street corner. He’s not mad, the opposite really. This is not what Hana’s good at. Not recon and not hand to hand combat. Winston allowed Hana to go after her tireless convincing that she can do this. Clearly they have a lot to work out at the headquarters. New Overwatch is a mess.
His hearing is still not back after one of the guys he brawled with shot a gun right next to his head. Hana’s growing eyes tell him that the shuttle is approaching.
McCree sighs and angles his face towards the sun beams. This brief moment of peace enveloping him despite the pain in his ears and his limbs. Deep breaths, in and out.
Something hard crashes into him and he thinks he’s being attacked again for a second. His heartbeat spikes up and he flinches before his eyes finally focus on the familiar soft green. He can’t see Genji talking, but his bicep is getting crushed with unyielding fingers gripping him acutely and he knows he’s saying something, with his head inclined close to his own.
Pity Jesse has no idea what it is. His ears feel like they could start bleeding any moment. He shakes his head and then his palm next to his ear, he scrunches his face in what he hopes to be a helpless expression. Verbal communication has to wait until he feels a bit more alive.
If Genji let’s an affirmation be known, Jesse sure as hell doesn’t hear that either. Cool metal fingers probe at his cheeks as Genji tilts his head to search for injuries. He can imagine what face Genji’s making, eyebrows drawn together and lips either pursed or pressed tightly together in concentration or worry.
It’s a little comfort after the massive failure he’s got on his hands. Genji is no medical staff to mend his wounds, but he’s by his side until Zenyatta moves from Hana, who’s virtually unharmed, to him.
Genji’s hands are restless, one moment petting his hair then reassuringly squeezing his own or slapping his face as lightly as possible to keep him awake.
‘I ain't got no concussion, sweetheart.’ He says for the second time since Genji arrived and he tuts disapprovingly in turn. Zenyatta looked him over quickly and found it suitable to move him into the ship. Genji sat next to him again as his master patched Jesse up as good as he could for the time. Jesse’s hearing slowly returned and the whistling noise gave way to the sound of engine that almost drowned the soft indoor voices everyone was using for some reason. He eyed Genji when he looked away, his words have been sparse since the moment Jesse was brought inside, suspecting something to be wrong. Once he lost the absolute lightheadedness that prevented him from anchoring himself to the present he attempted to fill the uneasy silence between them. What came out was a hoarse grumble that Genji cut off anyways by ordering him to settle down and Zenyatta humming in agreement as he continued his slow process. Genji has the opportunity to stick around, unlike in any surgery of the medics they came to know through the years. Zenyatta mostly ignores him as he asks Jesse about his pains and aches.. As a matter of fact he does have a concussion and a broken arm to add to it. After they land Jesse is brought to the infirmary, but not before he nearly twists his neck out by searching for Genji. He’s just standing in the hangar, looking after them as they leave, standing still like a statue. Jesse adds a hollow feelings in his gut to the aches he reaped today.
---
‘Discharged?’ Genji asks three days later when they cross paths in the corridor. Jesse was discharged the day before, actually, but he felt a sting when he thought of Genji. A little pettiness wasn’t beyond him. The thing is all he feels when he gets in contact with the cyborg is just… tenderness and everything is perfect for a moment.
‘As you can see.’ He does a little twirl and can’t help the huge grin forming on his face, which disappears when his side collides with the wall. Genji gaps and springs closer to save Jesse from his own further stupidity. ‘Your master’s really something.’ He speaks with a waterfall of pained giggles streaming between his words.
‘Yes, I suppose.’ His voice is strained, almost held back by any and every tought that runs through his head. It’s an interesting disposition on him. ‘I’m happy that you're fine again, Jesse, but I decided to tell you something the moment I see you. I could lose the nerve.’
Genji busies his hand by feeling the steel surface of the wall,his fingertips glide along as he avoids eye contact and sighs nervously. McCree is a little taken aback but is prepared to listen intently. ‘I was afraid.’ Is that it, Jesse asks himself in confusion. He begins to understand as Genji tears off the helmet he still wears for whatever reason. His face looks serious, stern even, despite the shifty eyes. Jesse gulps. ‘Back then, i was afraid. Until now I was afraid. And now all I can think about is that we’re both here and we’re not everlasting. So I came to a decision that I won't be scared anymore. It’s what I was attempting to say three days ago. I think you ought to know. ’ Genji waits for a couple seconds, his eyes flying across his surroundings. Jesse is about to speak up, unsure what’s being said here exactly. Genji cuts him off before a single syllable rolled off his tongue.
‘Jesse, I want you to think about this. Not just to jump into this on a whim. Come talk to me when you're ready, and just to be clear… you don't owe me anything.’ Then he decides to leave him alone, to digest, or something of the like. His hand grabs Jesse’s as he passes him and warms his palm in an instant. His fingers linger on Jesse’s skin, and then he’s gone again. Jesse is speechless, stunned, hundred thoughts racing through his brain. He is standing there, in the empty hallway on a mundane day in the new Overwatch headquarters, absolutely dumbstruck. Expectations crumble within him, his mind slowly coming to terms with the reality. Not only is he baffled by this in general after their mutual silence on the subject, but the insinuation is also a much prettier picture than the one he thought would await him.
The fantasies he buried somewhere deep, deep, within himself to spare himself the heartbreak come springing up like snowdrops. It was a matter of when and not if. Tears are threatening to spill over his waterline all of a sudden and he thankes God for the general emptiness of the watchpoint, handy now so that nobody would see him acting a fool, half crazy with joy.
---
Their private movie night has been banned from the lounge until Winston says otherwise. They had started this weekly tradition shortly after getting together. Nobody complained about TV rights, and they were courteously left alone to be as lovey dovey as they pleased without anyone theatrically gagging in the background.
All was perfect until the fateful night when Jesse put on a horror movie. Genji wasn’t exactly a fan but he had no problem with it, or so he claimed. Three quarters through Genji sat in Jesse’s lap, hardly paying any attention to what was going on on the screen. The bowl of popcorn rested in his own lap as he fed it to Jesse piece by piece to the cowboys peculiar amusement. And then a jumpscare accompanied by a particularly loud noise came, which startled poor Genji. His entire form jumped up, the arm around Jesse’s neck gripped onto his shirt tightly, as the cowboy just helplessly watched the bowl fly up and the popcorn spill over the edge and snow right back down and onto the carpet.
Genji let out a horrified gasp, looking down at the mess and jumping onto his feet as Jesse bawled. ‘Darlin’, how the hell do you handle combat, all jumpy like that?’ Genji smacked his shoulder and urged him to get up and help take care of the mess. Winston was not pleased, although they cleaned up the best they could. Rumours spread like a wildfire in a facility housing not even 20 people and a couple artificial intelligences. The others kept teasing them everytime they found pieces of popcorn somewhere in a dusty corner behind furniture.
The movie night used to be the only time when they got to act like a couple and so Jesse invited Genji over to his room a week later. It just wasn't the same, he felt like a teenager inviting his sweetheart over when the parents aren’t home. The threat of something more hanging between them, weirding Jesse out. He feels claustrophobic in his own space as his boyfriend of two months crunches on salted peanuts on his bed. ‘What’s eating you, cowboy?’ Jesse laughs as Genji’s face springs out next to his own suddenly. He’s obviously not fallen victim to this uncomfortableness. ‘Genj, why’re we only ever snuggling in here?’ Genji is quiet and Jesse is worried about what’s coming despite the objective happiness this relationships brings them both. Genji makes a thoughtful sounds behind him as he leans forward and envelops Jesse’s throat with his arms and rests his chin on the crown of Jesse’s head.
‘I don’t know, it’s just how I am, I suppose. I just like keeping this between the two of us and not the whole world.’
‘Well then, that’s fine by me sweetness. I don't mind having ya all to myself.’ He drawls as he outright jumps Genji despite everything he felt a minute ago, determined to seize every second they get. ‘Don't mind it at all.’ He kisses into Genji’s navel as the cyborg still shakes slightly with soft laugh bubbling out between his lips.
Genji ends up dozing in his arms for the umpteenth night since Jesse ambushed him during meditation and declared his undying love and intention of being by his side for as long as he’s have him there.
If Genji wasn’t privy to public affection Jesse didn’t plan on forcing it on him. It still got him thinking though. If he didn’t get to experience much of Genji's fondness outside of their private quarters. No wonder they were all over each other here, he huffed out a quiet laugh and rubbed his nose against Genji’s.
Jesse toyed with his lovers hair, mindlessly brushing through it with his fingers as he pondered what he should do next.
‘You could just… move your things here you know? I bet we could get a Queen somewhere, it could fit if we rearrange a bit.’Jesse liked sleeping close to the wall and so Genji was the one who fell out of bed twice already. If one of them welcomed the prospect of a larger bed it must surely be him.
‘A queen?’ Genji pipes up, voice heavy with drowsiness. It startles Jesse a bit, some fantastical part of himself relying on Genji to be asleep and not hear his proposal.
‘Yeah, the bed, for us both? A big one.’
‘Oh.’ Genji is most likely barely keeping up with Jesse’s words. ‘It sounds nice.’
‘It is.’
For all the poised words and thoughtful actions, there was still shards of the old Genji in him, they just didn't cut so much anymore. It startled Jesse every time, the seductiveness he could emit, the downright mean girl remarks he whispered under his breath from time to time and now the impulsiveness and greed for happiness as Genji whispered ‘let's do it’ into his jaw and pressed a kiss there before passing out for good. There was no rhyme or thought in it, Genji just found it to be something he would enjoy and went for it.
---
For an armed force, not a government one, but still, Winston had them all on a long leash. There was an unspoken understanding between the agents, that they wouldn't take advantage of it, or Winston's inexperience with his new function.
Genji and Jesse marched in front of him during dinner one day, hand in hand. There was a brief exchange of meaningful looks that seemed to scream you talk, before Jesse stammered an awkward greeting.
Genji snickered and squeezed his hand.
‘Winston, I was thinking of vacating my quarters, if that is acceptable.’
It was pretty clear since the beginning that their relationship put Winston on a spot. He has never before seemed so thrown off by love, but Agent McCree and agent Genji seemed to enjoy bothering him with their private life constantly.
‘Erm… I don't see why not.’ He adjusted his glasses and shifted in his seat. ‘Can we discuss the details in my l- my office? Later. Stop by when you feel like it.’ McCree flashed a toothy grin at Genji, who was most likely doing the same under his visor, then looking back at Winston and word vomiting his thanks. That was all the pair had to settle with their new faux commander and so they turned to sit back down at their table to talk with their friends. Winston just hoped that once they have a lovers quarrel he won’t have to be the one resolving it.