Archive of Our Own

We Can Be Heroes

Kakashi was ready to drop, or scream, possibly both, although he knew neither was really a viable option in his current location. The really infuriating thing was that he'd almost made it home, he was certainly safely out of enemy territory, but unfortunately not yet close enough to Konoha to just pass out and trust that a passing ANBU patrol would pick him up and drag him home. It looked like Option B- cut through this huge civilian village, since going around would certainly take more time and energy than he had to spare. He sighed, pulled himself together, and launched into the city.

He was passing over a dark alley when he heard the cries, and was on the verge of just pretending he couldn't hear them when his conscience jumped him full force and stopped him in his tracks. He turned, ran back, and dropped silently into the alley.

There was a man standing just down the street, radiating killing intent with such malicious focus that it was almost certain that he was a missing-nin. From what village, Kakashi couldn't guess, but it didn't feel like Konoha. The man was looming over a smaller woman and a child. It looked... well, it looked like the woman had bitten the Missing-nin, which was not the best idea if one valued one's life. The man twisted his hands in a series of familiar seals- a Katon. Kakashi raised his headband, heaved another huge mental sigh, and issued a silent prayer to anyone listening that this wouldn't cost him his life. The shriek of a thousand birds filled the air...

*

When Kakashi managed to pry his eyes open, he was relieved to find that this did not look much like the afterlife- it looked rather like the crappy and ill-lit street he'd been in the last time he was conscious. The woman and child were gone, there was a heap of what appeared to be a missing-nin with a porthole, and there was an extremely blue and agitated figure hovering over him.

Kakashi's first instinct at seeing an unfamiliar face so close when he was injured was to attack- but something stayed his hand. If he was being honest, it was probably the fact that he couldn't actually move his hand, but Kakashi made it a point to be dishonest as often as possible, so he chose to believe that it was because he felt an instant kinship with the blurry blue figure. It didn't last long- it was hard to feel glowing camaraderie with someone who seemed determined to scold you within an inch of your waning life.

He heard a few "Hatake-sans" and "idiot Jounins" thrown into the other man's ranting, so he felt safe in assuming that the other knew him somehow. It did not reassure him. The worry twisting down the corners of the other's mouth and the concern in the brown eyes did reassure him, however, and he allowed the blue man to lift him as he continued his rather one-sided diatribe.

"What kind of moron tries to use a jutsu like Chidori when he's on the verge of passing out from chakra depletion? I knew you had poor judgement, Hatake-san, but honestly. I'll bet you Sharingan'd him too, didn't you?"

"S'not vrrb."

"I... what?"

"Sharn'gan. S'not a verb. S'a proper noun. An' wasn' Chidori, was Raikiri."

"Hatake-san?"

"Mmm?"

"Shut up."

Kakashi acquiesced, not entirely due to the fact that he was tired and somewhat embarrassed that this frighteningly blue man was carrying him. He fell into a semi-conscious sulk, and almost didn't notice when they crossed into the outskirts of Konoha. He did notice when his transport slowed to a stop and dropped him somewhat unceremoniously on the ground. The blue blur crouched into his line of sight, and poked him rather rudely in the forehead.

"Hatake-san? Are you still alive?"

Kakashi attempted to open his eyes enough that narrowing them would be effective, but the Sharingan gave a lurch in his brain and he ended up twisting them both completely shut. He thought he heard a small snicker, but was currently feeling too ill and defenseless to care much.

"Hey... look. I can't just show up at the hospital like this. I shouldn't even be this close to the village. Will you be okay if I leave you here?" The voice was still coloured with anxiety, which Kakashi found endearingly ridiculous. "There should be a patrol squad through this area in half an hour, at the most. They'll definitely..."

Kakashi coughed a little, interrupting the worried babble of the other. "Be fine. S'okay. You can go." He felt the other move away from him, just a bit, stand up. "Hey, one thing, though..."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm. Who're you?"

"Oh... I, uh. Ha ha." The strange man sounded a touch embarrassed, and Kakashi could tell he was feeling a bit awkward. Well, good. It had been an awkward evening. "Um. I'm Ultramarine. Nice to meet you. Hope you feel better soon. Okay, yeah."

Kakashi forced his eyes open once more. The other man was gone. He finally let himself slide into unconsciousness.

****

Half awake, half asleep, half dreaming-

Blue, all around, like the sea, very calming. And lovely dark eyes, lit with mischief and a touch of shy sheepishness. The corner of a mouth twitching up at him, caught between relief and amusement. How strange, to read such an expression through the fabric of his mask! Perhaps it was because he was so accustomed to the damned things...

But he could see both of those beautiful eyes, and stared into them, so familiar and yet so foreign. The tiny crow's feet at the edges, surely premature, the light that reflected in the irises, the slight pucker of the lower lid when the man smiled.

The Sharingan, he though absently, damned thing must have caught the man and somehow his subconscious had decided the information was important enough to save and replay. He could still feel the strength in his arms, could still hear his heart beating where his head pressed against his collarbone. He'd felt protected, and slightly giddy, and completely enchanted. It had been very strange indeed to be the rescued rather than rescuer. But he knew those eyes…

****

Kakashi woke to the too-familiar sight of the Konoha Hospital ceiling. He paused for a moment to be grateful that Tsunade's irritated face wasn't also hovering over him, before realizing that he actually wanted to see Tsunade- he had some questions for her.

He shoved up on objecting arms, swung his feet over the edge of his bed, and scooped up the meager remnants of his uniform before teleporting home.

It was another two hours before he woke up in front of his couch, head spinning slightly and threatening him with a massive migraine if he should choose to abuse his chakra any further without recovering first. He ignored it and stumbled into his room, shedding the hospital gown and shunting it into the corner where he left all of the discarded hospital clothing. He supposed they would find his rather impressive collection if he ever managed to actually die, but by then it would be much too late to scold him for liberating so much hospital property. He rooted around in his clothing trunk until he found bottoms and a top, and then poured himself back into the familiar comfort of his shinobi uniform.

****

Tsunade was staring rather forlornly at the growing mass of paperwork in front of her when Kakashi whirled into her office. As usual, he completely ignored the orderly line of shinobi awaiting audience with the Hokage. Damned brat- she gave him her patented half exasperated, half amused expression (perfected especially for Kakashi,) and waved him into her office.

"Can I help you, Hatake?"

Kakashi scowled, and recounted his experiences the night before.

Hmm, the blue one... which was that again? She'd have to check with Ibiki. Tsunade smiled to herself. Her regular shinobi weren't supposed to know about the League, but Kakashi seemed far less concerned about a secret crime fighting organization and far more interested in a certain costumed Chuunin.

"He fought like a Leaf nin, but not one I've worked with, so I don't know. It seems a bit… shady that there's a disguised Leaf nin working in another village. And the mask implies that he's hiding something, Tsunade-baa-chan."

Tsunade looked at him blankly, looked at the ANBU stationed on either side of the office doorway, looked at him again, blinked. He blinked innocently back. "What?"

Masks indeed. It must be driving him crazy- he obviously burned to know, and SHE certainly wasn't going to tell him. Let him figure it out himself. It was certainly entertaining to see the tables turned. Did the idiot brat not realize that this was exactly what he did to everyone else? .

Tsunade sighed, and held back a small grin. "Well, it seems like you've had quite an interesting adventure.."

The door swung open, admitting a blur of chuunin who seemed ignorant of the room's other occupants for several seconds. When he did look over at them, he allowed a brief surprised expression to glint across his face before composing himself.

"Ah, Hatake-san, it is good to see that you've returned safely from your mission."

Tsunade waited in somewhat gleeful anticipation of Iruka's explosion when he found that Kakashi was far too distracted by his encounter the night before to finish his paperwork. "I assume you have a mission report for Iruka-kun, brat?"

Kakashi frowned.

"Surely, Tsunade-sama, you are aware that I was just released from the hospital, and have not had time to file a proper report? The mission was a success, by the way."

Iruka smiled vaguely, and nodded to Tsunade. "As long as you have it in soon, Hatake-san," he said.

Kakashi glanced at Iruka, suddenly more alert.

"Why thank you, Iruka-sensei."

And then, Iruka blushed. Well, that was certainly strange. Tsunade had seen a great deal of unpredictable behaviour in her dealings with shinobi, but these two really took the cake. Stranger still was Kakashi's face--she could almost see a light click on in his mind.

Ah. Yes, Ultramarine, that was Iruka, wasn't it? And obviously Kakashi'd just figured it out, brilliant little ass that he was. And judging by their respective reactions on this figurative ‘morning after,' this had the potential to be interesting indeed. Tsunade smiled to herself. Jiraiya would surely be very fascinated, considering his connection to both Kakashi and Iruka, and the fact that this little ‘superhero' operation was partly his idea to begin with. Honestly, it sounded like one of the ridiculous premises from his filthy books. In fact...

*

Kakashi carefully masked his surprise at being let off the hook with disinterested boredom. He had actually expected to be fussed at, as he always was, but Iruka seemed somewhat conciliatory today, in fact, his soft brown eyes looked almost-

Wait.

Those eyes.

There was no doubt about it- no wonder they'd seemed so familiar last night! But why on earth was Iruka dressed up like an idiot, running around foreign villages, apparently saving people? Iruka, who was currently blushing, who just seemed too nice to be a ninja. Like he should spend all of his time rescuing kittens from trees and bandaging scraped knees. Or... rescuing civilians (and the occasional Elite Jounin) from third-rate missing nin? This was a mystery worth investigating.

But first things first. He turned back to Tsunade with his hugest fake smile creeping up over the edge of his mask.

"Seriously, Tsunade-sama, you should have seen him. The outfit he was in was just shameless! It was so tight, it was worse than Guy's most form-fitting jumpsuit. The Sharingan appreciated it, anyway, spent all of last night dreaming about it. Only, I don't know, I guess I've been reading too much Icha Icha, because a lot of what I dreamt didn't happen... I don't think. I did pass out for a while. It might have been actual memories of- OUCH!"

Iruka ‘accidentally' whacked him across the back of his head with the stack of files he was holding, politely excused himself from the Godaime, and glared a little at Kakashi as he swept red-faced from the room. "I expect your mission report promptly, Jounin-san."

Kakashi was nearly beside himself with mirth- it was him! This was going to be fun. He snapped a salute at Tsunade and whipped away, already plotting.

In the swirl of leaves left in his wake, Tsunade smiled. Oh, was Jiraiya ever going to love this...

****

Raidou was apparently bored, because he'd spent the last hour talking at a clearly uninterested Kakashi. It had taken all of his considerable ninja-ing skills to finally duck the other man, and Kakashi had no intention of being caught again. He looked around, made sure no one was watching, and slipped out over the village wall. He had a personal mission tonight.

*

He reached the Seijou City less than an hour later, after meandering his way casually through the forest and wandering into the village proper with little fanfare. He'd gone over several methods of attracting the blue man's attention while traveling, and dismissed them all as silly and overdramatic. Instead, he launched himself onto the roof of the tallest building in the vicinity and simply screamed like a little girl.

He wasn't disappointed- a costumed man landed in front of him in less than a minute. It was not, however, Iruka. Instead it was a different, extremely spiky Chuunin, one Kakashi was certain he recognized. When a second man landed heavily next to the first, he was sure of it. Izumo and Kotetsu, the two who seemed to pretty much live in the guard station at the walls of Konoha. Even with their eye masks it was completely obvious. Kotetsu was dressed mostly in black, with dark pink accents, while Izumo was in black and red. Fancy.

"Hmm. I was wondering why it was so easy to get out of the village, Looks like the guards are skipping out on their duties..."

Izumo glared at the Jounin while Kotetsu bristled and spluttered. "Hey, it's not our fulltime job, you know, there's shifts and stuff. Honestly. We do other things too."

Izumo shifted his glare onto his partner. "Ahem. Ammo? Secret identities? Ringing any bells here?"

"Whatever, ‘zu... Redhead. He obviously knows who we are. He can probably see right through our masks with his magic eye."

"Oh, for the love of the sweet dead Shodaime!... we're not discussing this right now. So, Hatake-san, why the hell is a Jounin in the middle of a civilian city calling for help? You clearly do not need help."

Kakashi smirked. Clearly. He could demolish both of these guys even without his ‘magic eye,' and they all knew it. "No, I was... looking for one of your colleagues."

"Looking for... Who? Oh.. Oh no. Oh no you don't. You're not going to patronize or make fun of any of us. This is serious work we're doing here."

"Hey, calm down. One of you guys saved me last week. I wanted to say thanks, you know? I think this whole thing is kind of cool."

Kotetsu, or rather, 'Ammo,' lit up behind his mask. "You think we're cool? High five, dude, Freaking Hatake Kakashi thinks we're cool!" Izumo, who was apparently 'Redhead,' rolled his eyes but high-fived his enthusiastic friend anyway.

Kakashi chuckled. "Maa, I did think so. I'm starting to think that a little less, right now..."

"Aww man." Ammo slumped slightly, pouting.

Okay, time for some recon. "What is this, anyway? Does the Hokage know about you guys?"

Redhead nodded. "Yeah, this is official Konoha business. The League. The regular Jounin aren't really supposed to know about it, though. You guys aren't exactly welcome in civilian villages, you know?" Kakashi nodded. Shinobi made civilians nervous.

Ammo jumped in rather enthusiastically- "Ok- basically, the shinobi have gotten a bad reputation among the civs, so Konoha has set up an auxiliary force of Chuunin to work the smaller jobs. That way the batshit crazy Jounin--no offense--are sort of out of the loop. You can go do your S and A missions and kill people and flip out, and the ANBU go and do their assassination with a side of psycho, and the League goes and strikes "terror-in-the-heart-of-evil" among people who are essentially powerless. We're mostly here to look intimidating. We don't have to get intimidating very often."

Well, that was certainly interesting. Not as interesting as it would have been if it weren't all official and above-board, but still. How had he not known about this? "So basically you guys run around being heroes?"

"Yup. Greatest job in the fucking world, I tell you." Ammo beamed at him.

"How many of you are there, anyway?"

"You really aren't supposed to know any of this, okay?" Redhead still looked worried, but his spiky friend was on a roll.

"Oh man, I dunno. There's us, there's Goldenboy and his partner, I can‘t even remember his name, but they're on patrol in Unzari tonight. Sometimes there's Indigo Avenger and Violet Shadow, they're the big guns. Ginger and Vert, the new kids. There's us. And uh, Ultramarine. That's all of us right now, we lose a lot of people to promotions and stuff. You know how it is."

He did not know how it was, having been a Jounin since he was thirteen, but he nodded anyway. "So, you guys all work in pairs?"

Redhead finally caved. "Yeah, pretty much. It's safer, since we're not on strict mission parameters. Like in ANBU, how you usually travel with a squad. There's always someone who knows who you are and where you are, you know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense. Why is Ultramarine on his own?"

The Chuunin shared a long glance- this was apparently not an easy subject. Redhead coughed gently, looked unhappy. "Oh, well. He had a partner. Heliotrope. But he's... gone."

"Yeah" Ammo looked fiercely angry for a moment. "And good riddance. So. I guess our Ultramarine is who you're looking for?"

"Yup. Can you tell me when he's gonna be back?"

Ammo fidgeted with his mask, thinking. "Oooh. Heh. I think he's on... Friday night, right? He doesn't pull shifts during the week. Try Friday. But don't use that freaky girly screaming again, okay? Not cool."

Kakashi actually chuckled. His ability to scream like a little girl was a weapon he didn't use too often, but it always made an impact. "Yeah, okay."

*

Iruka spent an uncomfortably anxious week at the Missions Desk. For some reason, Izumo and Kotetsu started snickering every time they saw him...

****

"Icha Icha Heroes... it does have a nice ring to it. But honestly, Tsunade, is it a good idea to encourage those two? I mean, a school teacher and an Elite Jounin are a great combination in a story, but in real life..." Jiraiya trailed off and shrugged at the shorter woman.

"Oh come on. Those two deserve each other. Iruka is a bit too 'wide-eyed innocence,' and too prim by a long shot. He could do with a bit of fun with someone his own age. He spends so much time around children that he's out of touch with his age group."

"And Kakashi. He's an arrogant little kid who still thinks he's the most important thing in the world. He has almost no social skills, not with his age group because he's never been a part of his age group. Not with his elders because he's always been better than them. Not with his superiors, because he's always been too precocious and valuable for them to bother scolding him even when he's being an insubordinate ass. Now that his peers have caught up with him, skill-wise, he has no idea how to relate to them. Emotionally he's still a child." She blinked, realizing she'd been ranting, and glanced up at Jiraiya to see if he was even still paying attention.

He was. "So you're saying that Iruka deals best with children, and Kakashi is like a child. When you put it that way, I guess it does seem like a pretty good match."

"You are oversimplifying this quite a bit. But yes. Plus, they actually seem to like one another."

"Alright, you've convinced me. It makes sense that they might result in a happy medium. That is how it goes in stories, you know?"

****

Friday was a bust. Kakashi'd arrived in the city a couple hours after sunset and spent the entire night lurking around in every dingy alley, but didn't manage to catch even a flash of blue. He'd headed home once the morning fog had rolled in, and after a stop off at the memorial had gone home to sleep the day away. Saturday was his down time anyway, since more nin were free to take weekend missions, letting him off the hook. Naruto was in town, with Jiraiya, maybe he'd see them for lunch. Late lunch. Really late lunch.

*

After dinner with Jiraiya and Naruto (through which the frog sage had alternated between whining about ramen again and making intensely disturbing, suggestive eyebrow wags at Kakashi) he headed back out of Konoha. This time he would find the Chuunin, hell or high water. He bit down on the edge of his thumb and swiped it across a well-used scroll.

Four small bodies appeared with a faintly audibly ‘poof.' Only one of them seemed pleased to be there.

"Hey, guys. I have a very important mission for you."

Uuhei looked as passive as always, Bisuke looked dead, Pakkun rolled his eyes hard enough to dislodge an optic nerve, but Akino looked thrilled. Akino loved missions. Even stupid, skill-less, unranked missions. So when Kakashi told them what he wanted them to do, Uuhei nodded once and set off quietly and in no great hurry, Bisuke twitched one eye halfway open, Pakkun somehow managed to roll his eyes even harder, and Akino popped to attention, wagging madly before setting off up the side of the nearest building.

"You really like winding him up, don't you?" Pakkun grumbled, eyebrow cocked at his boss.

"It's adorable. Look how happy he is. Why can't you be that excited about a mission?"

"This isn't a mission, kid. This is some sort of weird dating service. You can call me back when you have a mission scroll, and a mission rank, and an actual situation, and we'll talk."

"You are unbelievably lazy."

"I learned from the best. One of those two will find him for you."

"Maa, I suppose. Okay, take this useless lump with you, and enjoy your lounging." He toed Bisuke toward the pug, who snuffled a sigh before disappearing.

Summons. Jeez.

*

Iruka was surveying the West side of town, enjoying the first relative peace he'd had in a week. Tsunade had seen fit to join in with Izumo and Kotetsu's infernal snickering, and his classes could sense his agitation and were exploiting it as much as humanly possible. Which is a lot, when those humans are also ninja.

Without warning an entirely new intrusion on his meditation made itself known in the form of an extremely heavy and fuzzy weight landing directly in his lap. Oh lovely, a dog. Obviously a ninken, and judging by the Henohenomoheji, one which belonged to a very familiar ninja.

Iruka sighed and heaved to his feet, following the dog who was, for some reason, wearing sunglasses. Well, it had a weird owner. It only made sense that it would be weird as well. The dog seem exceedingly pleased when he started to follow it, although Iruka didn't sense any real urgency. That was probably a good sign- he didn't want to have to drag the older nin all the way to Konoha again. He was heavier than he looked.

*

Iruka- or rather, Ultramarine- arrived earlier than Kakashi'd expected. Akino wriggled round the both of them , immensely proud of himself for a job well done, and nearly seized with joy when Kakashi thanked him before dismissing him. The once-more blue Chuunin now standing before him looked torn between amusement and peevishness.

"Well, Hatake-san? I somehow got the impression that you were looking for me. What can I do for you?"

"Maa, I don't know. I just… wanted to see what was going on. I wasn't sure if I'd hallucinated the entire thing."

"I can assure you that you did not."

"It's just that- well, this is rather strange, don't you think? Costumed heroes running around at night?"

"Yeah, well, it was your friend's idea."

"What?"

"Guy-sensei. And Jiraiya-sama, but all of his ideas are strange. You really didn't know anything about this? You should definitely ask him. I can't believe he's never told you about us."

"Hmm. I may just do that. In any event, thank you. For taking me home. I was pretty screwed."

"It was the least I could do. You risked your life to save those people- which was stupid, but also really admirable."

"Eh, well. I couldn’t just leave a missing nin out running around."

"No, I suppose not-" they were interrupted by a siren, several blocks over. "Damn. Well, that's my cue. Heh. Sorry to just run out on you. But hey, feel free to drop by any time, you know?"

"Oh, I'm sure I'll see you around."

****

"Hello, my Esteemed Rival, have you come to challenge me? I surely do not need to remind you that I am currently in the lead by two points."

Kakashi debated for a moment whether to even acknowledge that Guy had spoken. He gazed evenly at the loud man, and thought to himself that in the context of 'superheroes' the green spandex made a lot more sense. Sort of.

"Guy, tell me about the League."

Guy quieted instantly, actually closed his mouth, and eyed Kakashi suspiciously.

"Whatever are you talking about?"

"Oh, come off it Guy. I've met like half of them. And 'Ultramarine' says that you're the best person to talk to about it- that you started it all?" Guy looked pensive for a moment before apparently coming to a decision and bursting into Manly Sparkles.

"So, my hip and modern rival has final discovered my secret. Ah, the Rainbow League. It was actually Jiraiya and the Sandaime's doing, you know. Jiraiya-sama told me, when I was more youthful even than I am today, that every ninja must find his place. I thought my place might be in the middle. It seemed that our Valued Civilians needed something other than shinobi. For some reason they associate us with murder and violence. They always seem so frightened of us. I thought perhaps something with a More Accessible Public Face was in order."

"A brightly coloured, happy public face."

" Indeed! You know I was always rather in awe of the Yellow Flash, and he seemed such a perfect inspiration. He was an ideal face for a hero- no one looked at him and thought 'assassin.' So I became Konoha's Magnificent Green Beast, something different than a ninja. The Hokage thought it was an Inspired Idea. Jiraiya-sama too- he helped me find several Capable Chuunin, and together we worked the H missions- H for hero. Not only someone to get the job done, but someone to be seen doing it. We don't work from the shadows.

"Mostly the outlying villages hire us to patrol and to be seen, since it deters many problems. It prevents them having to actually deal with crime. And the higher-level shinobi don't have to waste time on minor civilian concerns because we deal with them before they become Pressing Issues."

"Did Yondaime-san ever know about this?

"Well, yes, he became Hokage shortly after we started it. He found it Charming, I believe is the word he used. He wished very much that you could have been a part of it. It would have been a way to protect you from having to grow up so fast. But you were too much a soldier by then."

He didn't want to think about his beloved mentor, or how he'd always tried to shield a young Kakashi from the realities of shinobi life. "Ah. Well. Why haven't you ever told me about this before?"

Guy looked thoughtful for a moment. "We don’t really let the Jounin know about it. They'd feel either that they were missing out on something, or else they'd deride our Chuunin officers. It's better if we keep it separate. Plus, we hardly need Jounin spectators, and there would definitely be spectators. I do agree that it is sometimes difficult to take a costumed man seriously. But the civilians really seem to love it."

"Maa, I suppose that makes sense."

"So how is it that you've discovered our Splendid Secret League? You must have encountered one of our Honored Members."

"Yup. I decided to pass out in an unfamiliar city. Guess I was lucky that one of your guys stopped to help me."

"Hmm. I see." Guy's usual smile took on a devious glint as he studied Kakashi. "And I'd be willing to field as guess as to which one, judging by how engaged you seem to be."

"What, exactly, are you implying, Guy?"

"Oh, come Kakashi, we both know that a mask wouldn't protect anyone's identity for too long with you around. You've definitely deduced their Secret Identity. And you wouldn't be asking around if it weren't someone you found interesting."

Kakashi glared at him. "And?"

"I'm willing to bet it was our dear Ultramarine."

Kakashi's mouth thinned under his mask. So Guy thought he like Iruka? Of course he liked the chuunin, It was hard not to, but he didn't like the man. Well, maybe a little. But he hardly knew him! Guy was certainly jumping to conclusions here.

Guy watched Kakashi run through a gamut of emotions. To the untrained eye, it would have appeared to be 'bored, sleepy, bored, uninterested, dead, bored.' Guy had had a lot of practice in reading his friend, and he came up with a more accurate translation. Kakashi had been caught.

"I don't find Iruka that interesting."

"Aha! I was right. Treat him Kindly, Kakashi. He's been Abused and Neglected far too often, he doesn't need you to harass him into an early grave. Is he aware that you know his identity?"

"Not really. I mean, I teased him about it a little the other day, but I didn't say flat out. As far as I can tell, he's pretending not to know I know."

"Ah, Young Romance! The Coy Flirtation of my Beloved Comrades!"

"Shut up, Guy. I still can't believe I never knew about all of this hero business.".

"Well, apart from training, I retired from the League when I was promoted to Jounin. Our Eternal Rivalry did not begin properly until after. I think only three active members are Jounin, and only one of those is full-time."

"Oh? Who?"

"That, you shall have to discover on your own. But seriously, Kakashi. Be nice to Sensei-kun. He doesn't need any more Undeserved Grief in his life."

"I'll keep that in mind, Guy."

****

Iruka nodded sympathetically at Raidou, who was in his usual Tuesday funk. Genma had an ongoing Tuesday night shift, and as such Raidou was always left on his own. Apparently he had absolutely no capability whatsoever to entertain himself, and some other unwary, unlucky nin was always roped into hanging out with him. It wasn't fair, Iruka knew, to resent the poor man, but the fact was that Raidou simply wasn't that interesting. He was a nice enough man, and a competent nin, but his topics of conversation were somewhat limited to 'being a shinobi,' 'complaining about being a shinobi,' and 'Genma.' And the weather, but honestly, there is only so much one can say about the weather. It was particularly fun for Iruka- as his unclassified active-duty missions were few and far-between, he didn't even have any field stories to trade. Unless Raidou wanted to hear about how difficult it was to remove chakra-infused gum from hair.

The glint of a hitai-ate alerted him to the presence of another ninja, and he hailed before realizing it was the one person he really did not want to see: Hatake Kakashi. Iruka hoped against hope that the other man hadn't seen- he could take a couple more hours of Raidou's sulking, sure! But apparently Kakashi had seen him, and had quickly changed course to join them.

Oh, Hatake Kakashi. How long had he had a crush on that idiot? Iruka had a feeling it went back quite a long way, even before he was truly sure the other man was human. He'd managed to push it down for years- honestly, how could he be so enamored of a man he hardly knew? Then, of course, he'd gotten to know him better, while he was teaching Naruto. And since the boy had been gone training with Jiraiya they'd had a few very pleasant and civil conversations.

It was enough.

And then the psycho just had to go and plop himself down in the middle of Iruka's night job. Literally. He'd made it onto the scene just in time to see the Chidori--no, wait, Raikiri, wasn't it?--connect, and the enemy nin explode, before Kakashi went out like a light in the middle of the street. All of the odd and latent affection he had for the man had came rushing to the forefront, putting him in a confused state of panic. He had been certain the bastard was dead.

He was also now nearly certain that Kakashi knew it was him- that he was Ultramarine. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. Although he'd hinted, Kakashi hadn't actually said anything about it, not when he'd seen him the morning after, or even when the moron had wandered back into Ultramarine's territory. And there was his infuriating habit of deliberately provoking Iruka to consider…

First things first, though. Kakashi was still making his way toward them, but had now noticed the presence of the rain cloud hovering behind Iruka, murmuring about stupid long-term missions and being abandoned. Iruka struggled to suppress a smirk at his nearly imperceptible pause before ambling the rest of the way over to their seats. It looked like Kakashi was familiar with Raidou's Patented Tuesday Doldrums. Ha.

*

The rest of the evening passed much quicker than usual. It seemed like Raidou's babysitters always ended up alone with the poor guy, since everyone else was elsewhere being thankful that they'd dodged the bullet. With the addition of Kakashi, it turned into a strange little party.

They shunted an inebriated Raidou in through his front door and left him to fend for himself before wandering back toward Iruka's apartment. Iruka smiled up at the sky. He'd had fun.

They stopped just outside, and Iruka could tell that Kakashi was smiling at him, a real smile, even through the mask. "This was a surprisingly enjoyable evening, Kakashi-san. We should do it again sometime."

Kakashi's smile grew a notch.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll see you around."

Ooh. That bastard.

****

"We're headed out of the village. We won't be back for nearly a month so you'll have to keep tabs on our boys. How are things going?"

"I don't know. Those two are just so weird." Tsunade pressed her fingertips against her temples. "They act like they don't know what's going on. They're being deliberately obtuse. Why in the world would two people who obviously have feelings for one another pretend that they don't?"

Jiraiya smiled wistfully.

"Why, indeed."

****

Kakashi shifted into the slouchiest position one could assume while perching on a chimney.

"So, ok, I get the whole colour thing, I mean, it makes sense, actually. If Guy was involved I'm surprised it's so relatively normal. But you guys are all over the place."

Ultramarine shrugged slightly, peering over the edge of the roof to the street below. "Yeah, I know. It's like- the colour thing is just a guideline. You have to be a colour to be part of the Rainbow. But that's the only restriction. Some people get creative. Some people... well, some people Wooita."

"Pardon?"

"Oh, Wooita. He's Goldenboy's partner. Short for Shimowooita. It's apparently a sort of gray. He's... well, he's just not that creative. I'm not sure why he was chosen for the team at all, except maybe they just needed someone really boring. For boring missions. You know."

"I don't, actually. None of my missions are boring."

"Well, naturally. Why would they send someone like you on a boring mission when they could just send Wooita?"

"Touché. Well, at least he picked an interesting name for gray."

"He didn't. He just wanted to be called Gray. Guy chose it for him."

"Mmm. So you have, let's see, Ultramarine and Heliotrope. That's incredibly pretentious, by the way."

"But it sounds heroic."

"Ultramarine, I will give you. Heliotrope sounds like he should be wearing a monocle and looking at me disapprovingly."

"He would be, if he were still around."

"Seriously? I'd like to see that."

"Not wearing a monocle, you doofus, looking at you disapprovingly. He didn't like you."

"Heliotrope didn't like me?"

"He did not. He thought you lacked initiative."

"Well, be that as it may. I don't think I like him much either. If he weren't dead I might have to punch him."

"He's not."

"But I thought-"

"Can we not talk about him right now? It's kind of a sore subject for me."

Kakashi nodded. He'd get the whole story, eventually. He could leave it alone for now.

"So, ok, as I was saying, you have this snobby team."

"Mmm."

"You have Ginger and Vert. Sounds like an energy drink."

"They're good kids, our newest recruits. I dare say you'd find them quite familiar. But yeah, energy is dead on. They're very enthusiastic. They make me feel old, anyway."

"Ha. Then there's this, what is it? Indigo Avenger and the Violet Shadow? Those names sound like a six year old trying to be menacing."

"Yeah, it's corny, up until you see them. They're terrifying."

"And colour coordinated!"

"They're our Jounin team- and our most experienced interrogators. They... they get the nasty missions."

"Aha."

"But they seem to enjoy it, so, hey. Whatever works."

"And there's Godboy. Bet he has high self-esteem."

"It's Goldenboy, although that's not much better. And boy, does he ever. He's a stand-up guy, though."

"The kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back?"

"If you asked for it. And then he'd probably do some sort of terrifying striptease and give you his pants, too. He's in Unzari every Tuesday if you're interested."

"I... think I know who that is..."

"Yeah, well. Remember- you're not supposed to!"

"I know, I know. But come on. Izumo and Kotetsu? They're not even trying to be subtle."

"It's Redhead and Ammo."

"What's with that? He's NOT a Redhead."

"Well, he wears a red hat. It's close enough. He just liked the way it sounded. Kotetsu's worse, he put Guy in tears at least twice when he was choosing his name. He insisted on Ammo, just Ammo. It was hilarious. Guy was just pleading with him- "Alizarin Ammo! Amber Ammo!" And Kotetsu is just standing there, pouting, shaking his head."

"What happened?"

"I took Guy aside and told him ‘Ammo' was short for 'Amaranth' and 'Tetsu was just embarrassed about choosing pink as his colour."

"You are a born mediator."

"Tell me about it. I guess I was made to compromise."

"Oh?"

"Indeed! For example, I'll show you what's under my mask, if you show me what's under yours."

"Oho. I'll think about it. So all together, you guys are the Rainbow League? That has got to be the gayest name I've ever heard..."

"Yeah, well, we're actually the ‘Most Incandescent Rainbow of Manliness Dedicated to the Preservation of Springtime in the Hearts of All Who Behold Our Glory.'"

"Are you... are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Ok, you're right, that is definitely gayer."

"Hey, at least it's Exciting and Youthful. Anyway, what's your problem with gay?"

"Nothing."

"Sure."

"Hey, I didn't say it was bad. But it's gay. Definitely probably the gayest thing I've heard today. Can you honestly say you've heard anything gayer than that today?"

"Well, no, I can't say I have..."

"So I guess no men have professed their undying love to you today?"

"No, not yet, anyway."

"Oh, we get that a lot, do we?"

"Well, you know how it is. You save someone, they're grateful... One thing leads to another..." Ultramarine smirked up at him. Kakashi struck a thoughtful pose, then pointed at the other man as if in sudden epiphany.

"I think it's the cape."

"The cape?"

"Yeah. It's all... fluttery and bright. It's enchanting."

"You really think?"

"Yup."

"So you're smitten with my cape."

"I guess so. Huh."

"Well, then, I guess it's time for you to profess your undying love."

"But, Ultra-kun, shouldn't we at least get dinner first?"

Ultramarine rounded his shoulders down, stared into the street, laughed. "Yeah, yeah."

Kakashi stared at his back, willing him to turn back around. After a few seconds, he did.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Well, yeah." Kakashi shrugged.

"I thought you were kidding!"

"I thought I was being smooth."

"Oh."

"I guess not?"

Ultramarine seemed to be trying very hard not to laugh. "No, definitely not." Well that was disappointing.

"Oh, well, uh... I'm sorry. I guess I should go, I…"

Ultramarine jumped to his feet, ran toward him, caught his arm. "Wait, what? No! No, I meant, no, it wasn't smooth, you moron. I would... uh. Yeah. Dinner. I mean, I would like to. If you want to. Whatever. Or we could just hang out. Dinner'd be kind of a bitch with our respective mask issues." Kakashi brightened immediately.

"Hanging out it is! Same time tomorrow...?"

****

Iruka was slumped down over the desk, working furiously but almost mindlessly. Tsunade had been watching him for close to an hour, and the poor man had nearly an entire shift's worth of paperwork finished. He was usually efficient, but this was just crazy.

"Iruka-kun, is something bothering you?"

It took a moment for her question to register, then he snapped his head up and looked at her dazedly.

"No, Tsunade-sama, I'm fine. Did you need something?"

"I need to know what's wrong. You look exhausted. Let me guess- you're having a problem with your night job?"

"Sort of, Hokage-sama." Tsunade hadn't heard about any actual problems in the outlying villages, so this had to be related to Kakashi and his sudden fascination with Iruka's League persona. Iruka's ears were going red, a sure sign that he was embarrassed.

"Is Kakashi giving you a hard time? I can order him to leave you alone." The blush spread to the rest of his face, and he paused before answering.

"That's not necessary, Tsunade-sama. I'm actually enjoying his company."

"Oh? So he has been sneaking out to Seijou. "

"Just for the last couple weeks. I… I've always rather liked Kakashi-san, but he never paid too much attention to me. But he thinks Ultramarine is really fascinating, at least for the time being. I'm enjoying it while I can."

"Ultramarine is just a costume. I suspect he's coming to talk to the person inside."

"Maybe. Still, I'm sure that he'll forget about this as soon as he has his next interesting mission."

"You need to stop worrying so much. I'm sure Kakashi won't just get bored with you. He's not as shallow as he likes everyone to believe."

Iruka smirked at her. "He certainly tries, though."

Tsunade burst out laughing. "That he does, Iruka-kun."

****

It was a good thing this was an easy mission, or Kakashi might have been in trouble. The last few weeks of haunting Iruka's night job had taught him quite a lot about the Chuunin. He'd always seen the other man as a quiet, hardworking type, who taught because he wasn't tough enough for field work.

But then, the man managed the Mission Desk, which meant he probably knew even classified details of all the missions that went through his office. He would know which ninja was where, and what they were doing. He probably even knew the identities of all of the ANBU. And he knew the working of Konoha inside and out. Maybe he didn't take many field mission because he simply knew too much?

It certainly wasn't lack of courage- he had balls of steel. He'd proven that the first time they'd really spoken, when Kakashi elected his Genin team for the Chuunin exams. After the initial shock Kakashi had been impressed that the younger man wasn't intimidated by him. Then again, someone who'd been close friends with the Sandaime wasn't likely to be frightened of a mere Jounin.

Now that he'd actually spent time with the other man, though, Kakashi was beginning to suspect that there was a great deal more to the Chuunin than he'd even guessed. He was really looking forward to learning more.

****

It had become something of a regular occurrence for Kakashi to pop up in Seijou unannounced. There hadn't been any real threats since the first missing-nin than Kakashi'd taken out, and Iruka was grateful for his company. It hadn't taken long to fall into a comfortable routine, now the only problem was that it was getting too comfortable. The small niggling crush Iruka'd held for Kakashi for years was now full-blown, reinforced by how much Iruka truly liked the idiot.

Kakashi seemed to believe that no one who genuinely knew him could ever like him, and Iruka hurt on his behalf. The self-deprecation wasn't just an act--the Copy-nin apparently only felt worthwhile as a weapon. He clarified it painfully one night, when they were discussing their masks.

Kakashi had argued that the League's costumes weren't really necessary. The civilians wouldn't recognize them without masks, and there really wasn't any reason to wear them. Iruka had considered his point, but concealing identity wasn't really the purpose of the disguises in the first place.

"It sets us apart--it's what distinguishes us as the 'heroes.' It doesn't matter what we actually do, as long as we look like what we're doing is important. It's pretty much the opposite of what we do as shinobi," Iruka argued.

"Where what you’re doing is terribly important, and no one ever knows about it?"

"Precisely. That's why we're 'Heroes,' and the nin who only ever get recognition for their work after their deaths are the real heroes. The ones who actually do things. I don't know. I guess maybe I'm a little jealous of you."

"That's funny, I was going to say the same thing to you."

"Oh, ha ha. What do I have for you to be jealous of?"

"These people love you. And when you're done here, you can take off your mask and go be a real person."

"Well, so could you."

"No. If I took of my mask, I wouldn't be anybody at all."

"That's not true."

"It is."

"Come on. If you took off your mask, you'd be even more of a celebrity than you already are."

"For a moment, maybe. I suppose everyone would want to see what I've been hiding."

"Well, what are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"Really?"

"Nothing at all. Just a normal face. Everyone would be terribly disappointed. It makes other people happy to wonder. I wouldn't want to spoil that for them just so they can look at my boring face."

Iruka stared at him, really seeing him. He looked sad, but thoughtful. This was obviously not a new topic for him- which only made sense when the mask was such a defining characteristic of Sharingan Kakashi, the ninja this poor man had to became every day. Iruka was suddenly overwhelmed with longing for the other man to be happy. Impulsively he leaned in and kissed him through the mask. Kakashi responded as though he'd been waiting for his cue.

It would have been nice if there'd been fireworks and choirs of angels, but instead the was a bit of fuzz in his mouth and a disappointed expression on the other nin. Kakashi furrowed his brows and stared at Iruka.

Iruka laughed nervously. “Well, that was somewhat less electric than I had been anticipating."

Kakashi shrugged. "Yeah, with all the build-up I was really expecting a little more oomph."

Iruka felt terribly distressed. "I'm sorry. Maybe this is all a mistake. I've really had a good time with you, but maybe this is too much?"

Ah, so he was regretting it. This was unfortunate. "Yeah, I understand. We're still cool, though, right?"

Iruka forced a smile. "Of course. We won’t let it get weird."

"Mmm. I'll see you around."

****

It got weird. Kakashi didn't randomly appear on his patrols anymore, and when they saw each other in Konoha they barely nodded in acknowledgement. It was wearing terribly on Iruka. He hadn't just blown a kiss, he'd ruined a promising friendship. He did his best to stay cheerful, but he felt like he was in mourning.

*

Kakashi felt like shit, and acted like more of an aloof ass than usual. No one paid him any attention.

*

Ibiki finished his regular report, and leaned back into his chair. It had been business as usual in T&I, and the League was running as effectively as always. The Chuunin teams worked independently with minimal supervision, and generally caused him very little trouble. He and Anko only had to step in when there was a major issue, which was fairly rare.

His current problem could not be solved with violence. Or, perhaps it could, he just needed to know upon whom to inflict it. "Hokage-sama, have you noticed anything odd with Umino Iruka?"

Tsunade sighed. Iruka had gone from manic to extra-manic, which meant something was wrong. He just wouldn't tell her what it was. She had a fairly good idea that it had to do with her other most troublesome ninja. "I think he might be having some personal issues. Is he causing you any concern?"

"Not at all. He just seems miserable. He's doing that creepy fake-happy thing he does, you know."

"I know exactly. Maybe we should give him some time off?"

"That might be a good idea. The kids seem to have a pretty good handle on Minkan, Redhead and Ammo can cover in Seijou. I think Wooita is retiring, but Goldenboy has a replacement in mind. Another Tokujo, we'll have to discuss that later. But yeah, I think we can give him some downtime."

Tsunade nodded. "I'll talk to him."

"Alright. I'll see you next week, Hokage-sama."

*

Jiraiya had been terribly disappointed that things in Konoha were not going well. Tsunade had just shrugged it off- she'd been nudging Iruka toward the Jounin, but he seemed determined to pretend to be fine, and actually be miserable and lonely.

Jiraiya decided that an intervention was in order. He folded Tsunade's letter into his pocket, and called Naruto to go and pack up. It was time to check back in Konoha anyway.

****

Iruka was walking aimlessly, in no hurry. The Hokage had informed him that he was 'on a break' from his League duties and he had nowhere to go but home. Time off would be nice, especially considering how tedious his patrol had been lately. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Guy until he nearly walked into him.

"Hello, my distracted young friend. How are you today?"

"Oh, hello Guy-san. I'm alright, just thinking."

"I heard you are on vacation from the League. Are you sure that you are alright? It would seem that something has happened."

"I… sort of had a falling-out with someone."

"With Kakashi."

"Why would you…?"

"My Rival has also been suffering from melancholy. He hides it by being… unpleasant. I know that he had discovered you to be Ultramarine, and he seemed to be enjoying annoying you. For the past few weeks, however, he has been miserable. What happened?"

"Oh. Well, it's difficult. I might have kissed him."

"And then he punched you?"

"What? No! He just… we… it was just… awkward."

"And he didn't punch you?"

"Of course not. He was very civil."

"And you just gave up? Let me guess: you have been Avoiding One Another? That is not the Vigorous or Youthful way to deal with Problems Such as These. It is obvious that he returns your affections, if he was, as you say, 'civil' rather than resorting to Acts of Physical Violence. My Beloved Rival has some Difficulty Expressing Himself. He probably just doesn't know how to approach you."

"So you think that maybe it wasn't a mistake?"

"There is only one way to find out, Iruka-kun. You have to talk to him."

"I suppose."

****

Kakashi knew the Sannin was following him, he just wasn't sure why. The safest assumption was that it was a test of some sort, so he spent the better part of an evening avoiding the giant man. He'd just slid into his apartment to stare at the walls for the rest of the night when Jiraiya appeared in the center of his living room. Kakashi merely blinked at him- too many years of training meant that he didn't jump out of his skin in shock, but it was a close call.

"Maa, Jiraiya. It is rude to invite yourself in to someone else's house, you know."

"Ah, come now. We're practically family, why wouldn't I be welcome?"

Kakashi sighed. "What do you want?"

"I want to know why you're ruining the plot."

"Pardon?"

Jiraiya dropped a nearly-finished manuscript on the low table. "You're ruining the plot. A little dramatic tension is fine, but you'll lose readers if the protagonists just stand around sulking. The people want action!"

Kakashi stared at the stack of papers. He could make out 'Icha Icha Heroes' even upside-down, and he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what this was about. "Alright. You came all the way back to Konoha to make your point, so hurry up and tell me what it is."

Jiraiya gave him an unreadable look, then to Kakashi's great surprise, hugged him. This time he gave a panicked (and somewhat muffled) squeak, to the delight of the larger man. He fell back onto the couch as soon as he was released.

"It's about Iruka-san. What is going on with you two? You're causing nothing but trouble for everyone. Iruka's on leave from the League, Tsunade says you're being even sloppier and later than usual on your mission reports. This is no way for shinobi to act."

"I know. I'm letting my personal life interfere, and that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Iruka is great, but I can't get too involved."

"So you're just running out on him?"

"Eh, it was his idea to back off. Now we're back to the way we were before."

"Which you clearly found fulfilling."

"What does it matter? I'm a ninja. I don't need to be fulfilled, I need to do my job. He needs to do his. Our personal happiness is negligible."

"Look, as a ninja, I work hard to protect my village and its people. And although you may not see it that way, you are one of those people, Kakashi. We sacrifice a great deal for the happiness of future generations. Maybe we never stop to think that it is a vicious cycle, and those children we were trying to make a happy future for would, in turn, be caught up fighting to secure the same thing for their children."

"Mmm."

"What I'm trying to say is, take happiness where you can find it. The village won’t collapse if you enjoy your life, but it might if you don't get your shit together. It would be good for you to have something worth fighting for."

"Now you sound like you're quoting your books at me."

"Maybe I am. You must find something worthwhile in them."

"I don't read them for the philosophy, Jiraiya. I read them for the porn."

"Of course. Just remember- tragedy may get more critical acclaim, but it's okay to have a happy ending once in a while."

****

It was more difficult to find a single non-descript Chuunin in a village full of ninja than it was to find an electric blue superhero in a civilian town. Kakashi was hesitant to resort to the use of his ever-enthusiastic ninken, though. An extremely happy dog didn't exactly set the sort of mood he was going for.

He finally found Iruka sitting on a roof of a small apartment building. He landed silently beside the other man, then flopped down onto the tiles. "Fancy meeting you here, Iruka-sensei. If you miss lurking on rooftops so much, you should go back to your patrols. I think Tsunade is about ready to kill Izumo and Kotetsu."

Iruka looked wearily over at him. "I can imagine. They're good guys, but they're terrible with paperwork Almost as bad as the Hokage herself."

Kakashi chuckled lightly, and settled back on his elbows to look up at the sky. It was a cloudless night, and the stars glittered joyfully back at him. Iruka sighed deeply and fell onto his back beside him.

"Why are you here, Kakashi-san?"

"I miss you."

"You miss Ultramarine."

"I miss you. Ultramarine is just a mask you wear."

Iruka started. That was eerily close to something Tsunade had said to him. He glared at the entirely-too-cheerful stars. "Are you sure we aren't just pretending? Just playing the characters we think we should be?"

"No. I think that for the first time I'm just being Kakashi. And Kakashi misses Iruka. Anyone can put a piece of fabric over their face, it doesn't change who you are underneath."

Iruka finally turned to look at Kakashi. The edge of his mouth quirked up on one side in a peculiar little smirk. The moonlight caught the straight line of his nose. There was a scar along his jaw line.

He wasn't wearing the mask.

Iruka didn't break his gaze for several seconds. The expressive mouth took on an embarrassed quirk, the single blue eye looking back in apprehension. Iruka smiled.

"It's not that disappointing."

Kakashi laughed in relief. "We're idiots."

"Speak for yourself. I missed you too, Kakashi."

"We should really try again."

They did.

There weren't any fireworks this time, either. But they didn't notice.

END