Work Text:
Jin is sick of everything. He's trying his best. Can't they see it? He knows he can't dance and sing as well as the others but he has tried his best. He practices as much as he can, he practices so much he can't even feel his limbs anymore but Jin still faces hate everywhere. People calling him a pig, saying that he's the most useless member in Bangtan. He doesn't need those people to remind him. He already knows that he's the useless one. He knows.
How could he not know? He's always at the back everytime they're performing on stage. His lines are getting lesser every comeback. He doesn't need anyone to tell him how useless he is. He already knows.
Jin doesn't think that the members need him at all. Maybe they will even be better off without him. Four years. He has been trying to be patient for four years. He tells himself not to hurry things up. He tells himself there will be songs that suit his voice. He tells himself that he too, can dance as well as other members. He tells himself there will be a day where he will finally be loved by everyone. That they will finally recognize his hardwork. "There will be a day where I will finally love myself." Jin whispers to himself as a tear falls onto the wooden floor he's sitting on.
The clock on the wall is saying 11:11. Jin laughs. He used to make wishes at 11:11 when he was younger. "I don't think I belong here. I should stop lying to myself. Because those days will never be here." Jin mutters. And deep inside his heart, Jin wishes to be gone.
Jin doesn't remember when he fell asleep. But he sure remembers that he cried that night, he cried while covering his mouth, trying hard not to wake anyone up. But he doesn't remember being on a bed. And definitely not in this room.
It's definitely not his dorm. He's sure he has never been to this place before. The bed he woke up in is King sized instead of his usual single bed. On one of the walls hangs a huge picture of him, a picture he has never seen before. He doesn't remember having this picture taken. He tries looking for his phone but it's not there. Instead, there's another phone on the bed and when he look through the contact list, he sees the contact name 'Eomma'. The number is exactly the same as Jin's mother's phone number. "What's going on here?" Jin mumbles. 'Is this somekind of hidden camera prank for a show? Or am I being kidnapped?' Jin thinks as he puts the phone into his pocket in case he needs it. He carefully steps out of the room.
Whoever owns the house, he's filthy rich. The house is spacious and luxurious but it doesn't seem that there's anyone here besides him. "Guys?" Jin shouts. "If this is somekind of hidden camera prank, I've already figured it out so stop it and come out. Because this is not funny." He laughs nervously.
"Who are you talking to?" a man suddenly shows up behind him. Jin has never seen this man before in his life. He's a little plump, slightly shorter than Jin, and seems to be in his mid thirties. "Jin, who were you talking to?" the man asks again. "Who are you?" Jin asks him instead. The man laughs. "It's too early for this. I'm not falling for it. Come on, get ready. We need to get to the set now." the man puts his hand on Jin's shoulder.
Jin pushes him away. "Who are you?" Jin asks, louder this time. He had enough. He cried the whole night and he isn't ready for this shit prank right now, especially when he's starting to get a headache. "Jin we're getting late." The man rolls his eyes. "Where are the others?" Jin asks.
"Who?" the man frowns.
"The other members. Where are they?" Jin replies but the man frowns even harder, like he has no idea what Jin's talking about. "Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon, Hoseok, and the kids? Where are they?"
"Wait. They sounds familiar." the man rubs his forehead. "Where am I? Why am I here?" Jin can hear his voice breaking. He senses something wrong. Something must be wrong. The man tenses. Jin doesn't seem like he's faking it. "It's your home. You bought this place only a few months ago. Hey, Jin. I know you're a famous actor with tons of awards but don't mess with me like this. Jin? Hey, Jin! Are you okay?"
"What did you just say? I.. I'm a what?" He's not an actor. He's a member of BTS. Bangtan Sonyeondan.
"Hu-human?" the man replies in confusion. "Ah, famous actor. You're a famous actor. Jin, are you okay? Please tell me you didn't take anything illegal."
"I'm not an actor." Jin says. "Of course you are. What are you supposed to be then?"
"What about BTS?" Jin looks at the man. "BTS? Oh! That's why the names are familiar! They are the members of BTS."
"I'm one of them." Jin mutters. "Wow. Okay. You've never said anything about them before and now you're saying that you're one of them. I think you should get some rest, Jin. You're a little.. uh.. messed up in the head. I'll cancel all of your schedule, just try to.. be normal again? This isn't you." The man says as he leaves Jin to make a phone call. Jin takes the phone out and begins to type into the search bar.
Kim Seokjin
South korean actor
Born: December 4, 1992 (age 24), Anyang, South Korea
Kim Seokjin is a South Korean actor. He rose to fame playing for the leading role in the drama "Save Me"
BTS
Boy band
BTS, also known as Bangtan Boys, is a six-member South Korean boy band formed by Big Hit Entertainment. Their name in Korean - Bangtan Sonyeondan, and Japanese - Bōdan Shōnendan, both translate to "Bulletproof Boy Scouts".
Members: Jungkook, Jimin, V, Suga, J-Hope, Rap Monster
"This is impossible. My name.. it's not there. I'm not one of them." Jin says while his tears are threatening to fall. He looks through the phone contacts again and this time he presses 'call' when he sees his mother's number. "Eomma?" Jin says when he hears his mother's voice through the phone. "Yes, son? Is there anything wrong? You never call me this early." his mother says, worried. She feels that something must have happened to her son. His voice sounds uncertain. He sounds scared. "Eomma, can I go home?"
"Of course. Of course you can. Come home, son. Everything's gonna be fine, okay?" his mom replies. "Thank you. Eomma, I love you."
"Oh, honey, I love you too." she says before the phone call ends.
Jin looks up from his phone when he hears foot steps coming towards him. "Your schedule today is cancelled. Dude, are you crying? Are you drunk? High? Or do you need a psychiatrist?" the man asks him. "Are you.. are you my manager?" Jin asks.
"No, I'm your wife. Of course I am your manager! What's wrong with you?" the man says, clearly annoyed by the situation. A catchy girl group song plays suddenly and the man takes his phone out. "It's your mom." he frowns. "Yes, eomeoni?" he says. "Jin told you he wants to go home?" the man looks at Jin. "I've cancelled his schedule today. A few days? I don't think it's possible. His schedule is too full. Yes, I know there's something wrong with him, but-" he sighs. "Okay, I can't promise anything, but I'll try."
It turns out that Jin's manager manages to get Jin two days off and he drives Jin home. Jin is relieved when he sees the house. It's a familiar place. His parents are there. His brother's there. Even his pet dog, Jjangu, is there. Jin welcomes his mother's hug. "I'll pick you up the day after tomorrow. Just.. get well soon, Jin." his manager says before he leaves.
Jin spends two days around his family, doing nothing but sleep, checking out all articles about BTS and himself. It turns out that Jin has only debuted as an actor after he declined BigHit's offer to sign him. After Jin debuted as an actor, he immediately became noticed in his first drama, even though he was just a side character. He was offered a lead role in the drama 'Save Me', and that was how he became famous.
As for BTS, they're the same without Jin. They still got their daesangs and billboard top social artist award. "I knew it. They never needed me." Jin mutters to himself.
Jin thinks a lot on the second night. Thinking about how he ended up in this place. And then he realizes when he looks at the clock. 11:11. He made the wish. That's why he's here. 'Maybe I can go back if I wish for it.' Jin thinks. But he's not sure he wants to. BTS is doing fine without him. And being an actor was his dream after all, wasn't it? "I miss them."
"They're doing fine without me. And I'm living my dream. But I miss them. Bring me back to them. I wish to go back." He wishes truthfully.
But when he wakes up the next day, nothing has changed. He's still in his mother's place. He is still Kim Seokjin, the famous actor. Not Jin, from BTS. "You need to get ready Jin, you have a flight to catch." his manager says. "To where?" Jin asks. "Sapporo, Japan." he replies. Sapporo, Japan. "We have a concert there tonight." Jin says. "No, we don't. What are you talking about? You have a talk show in the afternoon." Jin's manager corrects him. "Is there anyway you can get me a ticket for BTS Wings tour in Sapporo?"
"BTS? Uh, okay.. I have some connection there, I think I'll be able to get tickets. It's weird that you want to go, but hey, it might be good to have some fun since you don't have a schedule tonight." his manager shrugs.
"Which hotel are we staying in?"
"Uh, Y Hotel." he replies. "No, I'm not staying there. J Hotel. Make a reservation here." Jin says. "Okaay?" his manager is baffled. Jim never acts like this before. But he doesn't mind as long as Jin is able to work again.
The talk show is okay. He manages to answer all of the questions about his acting career thanks to his manager's help. And thanks to the show, Jin knows more about 'the actor Kim Seokjin'. He's surprised when he realize how popular he is. He has acted in many dramas and movies. Acting is his dream and in this universe, his dream has already come true. "I might never become an actor in BTS." Jin mutters. But he's not happier here. He misses them. He needs them. Because they are his family. And Jin loves them.
This is their last Wings Tour concert. He should be on the stage with them, but he's not. Jin is at the front row, in the crowd, with his dearest ARMYs. He's wearing a mask and a cap, his manager forces him to. Jin watches his friends perform on stage and his heart breaks a little when he sees Namjoon. Namjoon is not going to do any of the choreo due to an injury. "He should've been more careful." Jin sighs. When some of the members are getting close to him, Jin takes off his mask and cap, in hope that the members might actually remember him. "Jin, what are you doing?" his manager hisses. The fans around him notices Jin and begins to take pictures. They scream as they realize the famous actor is just beside them and they keep pushing towards Jin to either touch him or ask for signature but Jin doesn't care. "Jin we have to go." his manager says. The screaming of the fans catch the BTS members attention and they look at Jin's direction. The six BTS members bow politely and wave happily at Jin. And Jin knows. They don't recognize him as BTS Jin. They know him as the actor, Kim Seokjin.
"Let's just go to the backstage, Jin." his manager says and Jin nods. He'll wait for them there.
After the first day of Sapporo Wings Tour ends, Jin finally gets to see the members close. "Seokjin-sumbaenim!" Taehyung waves excitedly while the others bow politely at him. Jin forces a smile while all he thinks is how much he misses them. "Thank you for coming. I'm a fan of you." Namjoon says after a handshake. "Are you.. okay?" Jin says, looking at Namjoon's right foot. "Ah, it's getting better. Thanks for your concern." Namjoon replies. "I know you must be tired after performing, but do you mind to have a meal with me after this? In my hotel room. I'm staying in the same hotel as you guys." Jin says. He wants to spend some time with them. "Sure. We would be glad to." Namjoon replies.
Jin orders their favorite food when he arrives at the hotel. "That's a lot of food." his manager comments and Jin shrugs. "Did you ask me to make a reservation in this hotel because they're here? How did you know that?" his manager asks. "I have my own ways." Jin grins for the first time in these few days. "You're a fanboy all of a sudden. But I'm glad you're smiling now. I'll be in my room if you need me." his manager pats Jin's shoulder before leaving him.
"Wow these are.. actually our favorite food." Hoseok says. "How did you know? Do you secretly talk to one of us?" Jimin jokes. "Telepathy. It's telepathy." Jungkook adds while grinning. Jin chuckles. "Let's eat. You guys didn't eat anything before concert. You must be starving." Jin says. "Wow. How did you find out about that?" Taehyung asks. "I guessed it." Jin lies. Of course Jin knows. Jin knows everything about them. The late dinner is great and Jin is glad to have them. It feels like he's still one of them because everything seems to be the same. Everything seems the same except something. They don't eat as much as usual. They have only eaten half of their usual meal when they stop. "Why aren't you guys eating?" Jin asks. "I'm full." Yoongi says and the others say the same. "No way. You guys eat more than this. Is it because you're trying to lose weight?" Jin replies. They remain quiet and Jin realizes that he's right. "Don't. Lose weight the healthy way. You guys need to eat more." Jin says. Namjoon smiles. "That's the first time someone besides our parents and fans tells us to eat more." Namjoon smiles. And Jin realizes something. Without Jin, no one reminds them to eat. He's the one who encourages them to eat. He would buy lots of food just to make them eat with him. "Don't do that to yourselves. Don't ruin your health to look good." Jin tells them and they nod. "Come on. We still have a lot to finish." Yoongi says.
"It feels right when you're with us." Jungkook says suddenly. "It's like you're one of us from the start." Jungkook adds. "R-really?" Jin asks and Hoseok nods. "Jungkook is usually shy but look at him. He's comfortable with you. And the rest of us are too." Hoseok says.
"I think it would be great if you're in BTS. I heard you were scouted by BigHit before. If you have accepted the offer, you might've become a member of BTS." Taehyung says with his mouth full of food. "But well, he's doing great right now. A famous actor." Namjoon comments.
"Yeah. I don't know why, but I get this feeling that you belong on the stage..." Jimin says, smiling. "With us." Jungkook adds.
Jin smiles. 'They think I belong on the stage. With them.' he thinks.
"Is being an actor your dream? Is it why you didn't join BigHit?" Taehyung asks. "I guess I hesitated." Jin answers honestly. He really did hesitate back then. But he chose to join. Yet in this universe, he didn't. "Yes, it was my dream to become an actor." Jin adds. "Was?" Yoongi comments. Then it finally hits Jin. Being an actor 'was' his dream. And his dream now.. his dream now is to be with them, performing, singing songs that people love. He still wants to act, he does. But now he finally realizes that it will be okay if he doesn't have the chance to act either. What's important is that he's with them. They are the most important thing to him. And now he has fucked up. He realizes it a little too late. He can't go back to them anymore. He has crushed his own dream.
"I've just realize that we've spent so many hours here. It's been fun talking to you that we lose track of time." Namjoon says. "It's almost 11:11! Make a wish!" Taehyung says. "It doesn't work anyway." Yoongi comments. "It will if you truly know what your heart wishes for!" Jimin says.
And deep inside his heart, Jin wishes to be one of them again. He finally realizes how important he is to them. And how much he needs them. Because they are family. And they'll work hard together to build their dream. Because teamwork makes the dream work.
"Hyung! Jin-hyung, wake up!" he hears Hoseok calling him. And when he opens his eyes, the members are all looking at him. "Why are you asleep on the floor? You're crying in your sleep." Namjoon says. "Yeah you're saying weird things like you're not one of us." Taehyung adds. "You're one of us, hyung. Of course you're important to us." Jimin ruffles Jin's soft hair.
"Yeah. Who's gonna bicker with me if you're gone?" Jungkook jokes and Jin chuckles. "You know what I'm thinking about? Let's go for ice cream, worldwide handsome." Yoongi says, smiling at Jin. "I want to go too!" Hoseok says. "None of you are coming. Just two of us." Yoongi replies.
Jin smiles. He's back. Was it just a nightmare? It felt real though. But Jin is thankful. He finally realizes how important he is, and how important they are. He realizes that there are people who love him just the way he is. Jin realizes that he is not useless. He is wanted, he is loved. And he will try to love himself as well. To always be with them is his dream. And he will keep it that way.