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Dr. Hannibal Lecter rolled up his sleeves and put on his apron. He started gathering the ingredients and utensils needed to make breakfast. A small yawn caught his attention.
His son, who others had started addressing as Junior, stood in the door way. His dark curls stuck to his head on one side, where he had slept, while the rest stood straight out. He was clutching a stuffed dog in his hands and trying to rub off the sleepiness that clung to him on its fur.
“Good morning, ” Hannibal said softly, kneeling on the floor without actually touching the tiles.
The little boy, four years and one month to the day, gave him a sleepy smile and ran over. The weight of his son pressed fully against him, trusting him to hold them both up, was a feeling that Hannibal was never going to tire of.
“Want to watch you cook,” Hanni said, then seemed to consider his words. “Please?”
“Of course, go put Little Winston down first,” Hannibal told him and watched as the boy ran to do just that.
Big Winston in the mean time set just outside the kitchen door. They had found Winston a home along with all the other dogs but he kept running away. Hannibal didn’t put up much of a fight once he saw Will’s face light up after the third time that Winston showed up at their door.
The doctor also had to admit the dog was pretty smart and very gentle with their son. Winston knew better than to go into the kitchen. It seemed that was the only rule his family had enforced. No pets on the furniture apparently meant ‘No pets on the furniture when papa is looking’.
Hanni made his way back to his father and waited patiently to be picked up. Unless Hannibal was cooking something that required two hands or something that might splash, he would hold his son while cooking, explaining the steps. It was something he remembered his own mother doing long ago, even before his sister was born.
“Can you tell me what we’re making?” Hannibal asked.
“French Toast,” Hanni said after looking over the ingredients that had been laid out on the island.
“Very good, but first we will make the bacon. Do you remember what we do?”
“Oven,” Hanni answered as he points. “Papa turns it on.”
“Correct,” Hannibal did just that turned back to the boy. “Now that the oven is on, what is our next step?”
Hanni pointed to the baking sheet.
“That’s right. Do you want to help me?” Hannibal asked as he opened up the parchment paper that held thick cut bacon from his favorite butcher.
Together they laid out the bacon, placed it in the preheated oven and washed their hands. Then it was time for the French Toast with honey. Before it was ready to be pan fried and placed in the oven, Hannibal set his son down.
“I think it’s time for daddy to wake up,” Hannibal said. He pulled his son close and gave him a big kiss on the cheek. “Give that to your daddy for me, all right?”
“Yes, papa,” Hanni giggled and ran out of the room only to return a second later to grab his stuffed dog.
Big Winston decided he was better off next to the kitchen where Hannibal would give him snacks when no one was looking.
Upstairs Will Graham had been awake for sometime. His phone had gone off but he didn’t answer it. Now he was staring at the caller ID that informed him about his missed call from ‘Jack’.
Will hadn’t been on the field since before his son was born. They had been fallowing an arsonist and the smell made him sick for weeks after the man had been caught. It lead to a huge fight between himself and his lover when he couldn’t keep any of his food down. There were also nightmares. Hannibal had a valid point about how some of the people he caught seemed to stay with Will and at the end of the day he was bringing those monsters into their house. It was valid but coming from the source…
At the sound of little feet in the hallway, Will forced himself to snap out of it, and placed his phone back just as the door is thrown open and his son runs in.
“Daddy, Daddy!” There was a dip on the bed as Hanni climbed up till he was sitting on his father’s chest. Will got a big kiss before he had time to say anything. “That was from papa, and there’s French Toast.”
“With honey?” Will asked even though he knew the answer. It was his favorite.
“And bacon,” Hanni tells him with pride. “I helped. We put it on the sheet.”
“Good job,” Will says so the boy knows he’s proud of him, before leaning in and putting on a more serious face. “Now, can you tell me what we do before we enter someone’s room?”
“We knock,” the boy all but whispers and the smile slips from his lips. “Sorry.”
Will sighs. He could imagine the hard time he was going to have scolding the child when he was older and his offences were more serious.
“It’s all right,” He leans in to kiss the boy’s forehead. “Ready for some breakfast?”
“Don’t tell papa,” Hanni begged, his lower lip trembling slightly.
“We don’t have secrets from papa. Besides, you did say you were sorry and we can put this behind us,” Will reassured him as he got out of bed. “Now do you want to walk down stairs or do you want to be carried, little prince?”
Hanni lifts his arms and lets himself be carried.
**
Downstairs Hannibal just got the plates ready when his two favorite people walk in. The fact that his son has his thumb in his mouth doesn’t go unnoticed by the doctor. It had been a small habit that the boy picked up after he’s been scolded by one of them. Hannibal quirks his eyebrow at Will but doesn’t say anything. Will just smiles and shakes his head, letting him know that whatever the transgression was, had been minor and dealt with.
“Hanni, would you like to help me carry the breakfast we made into the dinning room?” Hannibal asks as he hands over his own plate to the boy.
The smile slowly returns to his face as he helps set the table.
As they are enjoying breakfast, Hannibal’s phone goes off. He looks a bit surprised when he pulls it out and shows the caller ID to Will. It’s Jack.
“Don’t answer it,” Will groans. “I’ll call him when I get to my office.”
“I would rather you didn’t cal him at all.”
“That would be rude,” a playful smile tugs Will’s lips up.
“There are exceptions to every case,” Hannibal tells him and there is no trace of a smile on his face.
“It’s been almost five years,” Will says while looking at his plate. “What if it’s not the same as it was before?”
“That is a risk that I’m not willing to take.”
Will’s head snaps up, “I wasn’t aware that it was any risk to you.”
“You are being foolish if you don’t think this will bring a degree of risk to your family.”
Will glared at his lover and seemed to be holding back words for their son’s sake. It didn’t matter. Hannibal could hear those words.
What about the risk you bring to the family.
Will gets up, his appetite gone and leaves the room without another word.
“Where did daddy go?”
“To get ready for school,” Hannibal says and puts down his fork too. “Hurry up and I’ll help you get ready for school as well.”
“Ok papa, but I can do it myself.”
Hannibal smiles and winks at his son.
**
The pre-k is right on campus which is convenient for students and staff alike. Will had been driving mostly in silence when Hanni speaks up.
“Where’s my mommy?”
Will is a bit taken back by the question. Mostly because his mind had still been on the words he exchanged with Hannibal this morning. They had spoken about this before and wonders if the boy forgot or they just hadn’t explained enough. It takes him a few moments to gather his thoughts.
“Remember we talked about that, Hanni?” Will glances in the rearview mirror as he speaks. “Some kids have a two mommies and some two daddies and others have one of each.”
“Did you have a mommy?”
“I did when I was very little but she went away. Daddy was a lot younger than you when it happened.”
“Where did she go?”
“I don’t know,” Will sneaks another peak in the mirror but all he sees is a thoughtful little boy staring out the window.
“Why did she leave?”
“Sometimes people become mommies and daddies but they don’t know how to do it.” Will was as honest as he could be but kept in mind the boy was only four.
“How do we get a mommy?”
“I’m not sure, son,” Will tells him after he pulls into a parking spot. “Do you want a mommy?”
“Yes,” the answer is mumbled as the child focuses on the stuffed dog in his lap.
**
Hanni’s question stays with him through two lectures. He wonders what’s missing in their household that his son might want a mother. He had not grown up with a mother and remembered being jealous only because kids with two parents always had nice, clean clothing and freshly made food. They were things that came with a dual income and shared responsibility in a household.
There was no doubt that those things, and much more, had been provided for their young son so it must have been something else. Something they missed completely.
He was so focused on his little dilemma he had completely forgotten about Jack till the man was standing in front of his lunch table.
“Since you and your husband are screening my calls, I’ve decided to stop by.”
“I was going to call you,” Will nods towards the empty chair. “And he’s not my husband.”
Jack doesn’t sit.
“I need you, Will.” Jack says without wasting time and Will can hear the guilt trip start.
“My family needs me.”
“To do what? Is it your turn to do the dishes?” Jack snaps at him.
Will doesn’t take the bait. Doesn’t even look up the man. This isn’t a good start for Jack.
“Men are going missing. When they’re found… there isn’t much of them left.” Jack shakes his head. “At the same time there are body parts showing all over the coast. They identified four victims so far. We have nothing to go on!”
“Ever considered that maybe the FBI was the wrong career choice -”
Jack slams his fist on to the table, bringing silence from all the patrons in the cafeteria. Will is more surprised that that the cheaply made table doesn’t break. He was used to tantrums.
“Be a smartass all you want Will, but you can’t tell me you that you can just sit by as people are dying.”
Will wants to say that he could do just that. That it all depends on who is doing the dying and who is doing the killing. He doesn’t say anything though for a while.
He thinks about all the reasons he shouldn’t do it. Thinks about the time he will miss with his son and with his lover. He thinks about how upset Hannibal will be. Then he thinks about his son again. Can’t help think about the young murder victims. They did nothing deserve what happened to them. They probably weren’t bad people. They were someone’s sons. In the end he decided he couldn’t let certain monsters walk the same earth that his own son did.
“Case by case,” Will finally manages.
“Good enough,” Jack nods, but he agrees to quickly and Will doesn’t trust that. “We can go -”
“No,” Will stops him. “I’m picking my son up from school in a few hours. Tomorrow.”
“We don’t have time to waste.”
Will raises his head and fixes on Jack’s eyes for a long moment. “There’s no crime scene. Tomorrow.”
He’s surprised when Jack takes a step back and adjusts tie. “At least let me send some files over tonight.”
Will nods and turns back to his food. Without another word, Jack leaves.
**
When they get home, Hannibal is in middle of preparing dinner. Hanni goes to play with Big Winston in the back yard, leaving Little Winston with his dad to make sure he doesn’t get dirty. When they’re alone in the kitchen Will fiddles with the stuffed dog for some time before gaining the courage to tell Hannibal that he saw Jack.
“Tell me, did he use the death of the young men to pull on your parental feelings? Or did you make the connection yourself?”
Will glares down at his hands, “There are things you need to do. I’ve understood that. Why can’t you understand this?”
“The things I do, do not leave me screaming in the night. They do not leave nameless monsters crawling around my head,” Hannibal voice held it’s usual even tone, but his hands were firmly on the counter, pressing down with intensity that he usually saved for the bedroom. And his office. And Will’s classroom.
“Of course you don’t. You would have to feel something first!” The words were out before he could stop them.
There was an unease silence in the room for the first time in years.
“Dinner will be ready soon,” Hannibal tells him and turned away. He was being dismissed.
Will stopped in the door way. Started to apologized and stopped. Anything he said now would be brushed off.
He went to get Hanni but decided to take a few minutes to play in the backyard. They played keep-away with Winston’s stick. The setting sun brought the bits of red out in his son’s maroon eyes as he laughed and rolled around on the grass. Will enjoyed that sight immensely. The dog made sure to be gentle when pulling the stick out of the small hands. Hanni would give chase and Winston would slow down to give the boy a chance to catch up. The dog was a little less gentle when the stick was in Will’s possession. There were soft playful growls, and he would dig his paws into the ground, making Will work to get the stick back. When it was time to go inside, Will threw Hanni over his shoulder and carried the happy child to get cleaned up.
Dinner was unusually quiet and it seemed like Hanni was doing most of the talking. They gave each other space after dinner. Will went back to playing with Winston in the backyard and Hannibal gave their son lessons on the harpsichord. Will snuck in towards the end and watched from the doorway. He loved watching Hannibal teach. Always patient and never one to withhold praise. Will felt he might be biased, but their son was especially quick when learning something new.
It was over to soon when the grandfather clock announced it was eight. Hannibal glanced down at his own watch out of habit before informing Hanni it was time to get ready for his bath.
“I don’t want to papa,” Hanni shook his head. “Lets play one more song.”
“Not today, my sweet boy,” Hannibal said gently, running his hand through the soft curls.
“I don’t want to go sleep yet,” Hanni looked up, his face set between a pout and a frown as if not knowing which one the situation called for.
Will was about to intervene when Hannibal fixed the boy the with a stern look. Will smirked. He didn’t like that look anymore than his son.
“How many times papa ought to tell you something?”
“Once,” Hanni mumbled, holding up a finger to be helpful.
“And what did I just say?”
“It’s bath time.”
“Then what does that mean?”
“Bath time,” more mumbling and his thumb found it’s way into his mouth.
Hannibal gently removed it and gave it a kiss.
“Go get ready and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Will you still read me a story?” Hanni asked as he made his way off the bench.
“Of course, as we do every night.”
Hanni grinned and made a run for his room. He stopped when he saw his daddy in the door way.
“Daddy, did you see me play?”
“I heard you, Hanni, I heard you play and it was really good!”
“I can play you a song!” Hanni looked at his papa who sent him a frown.
“Tomorrow, Hanni,” Will chuckled at the boy’s attempt to avoid bath time and inevitable bedtime. “You can play me two songs tomorrow. All right?”
It seemed like he had one more argument in him but caught his papa’s frown and decided against it. Once they were alone the uncomfortable silence returned. Hannibal played a soft tune as Will made his way further into the room.
“Hannibal, I-”
Hannibal held up his hand to stop him and brought the silence back into the room.
“Lets put him to sleep first and then we’ll talk.”
Will had no choice to agree as his lover left the room.
**
“Do you have a mommy?” Hanni asked his papa while his hair was being washed.
“I did when I was a little a boy,” Hannibal answered.
“What did your mommy do?”
“She would read me stories and sing songs. We would play games, go on walks and draw. The same of things that your daddy and I do together with you. Tip your head back.”
Hanni shut his eyes as hard as he can and then pressed his hands over them. “Where can I get a mommy?”
Once the soap was out of his hair he was wrapped in a huge, soft towel.
“You want to get a mommy?” Hannibal asked, slightly confused by where the conversation was heading.
“Yea, almost everyone in my class has a mommy.”
“Well, that’s probably true,” he agreed as he set his son on the bed. “I bet it is not often you meet children that have two daddies.”
Hanni shrugged as papa helped him dry off.
“Button up your pajamas and I’ll go find your daddy,” Hannibal told his son and left him on the bed.
He found Will where he left him by the harpsichord, his fingers trying to match today’s lesson. He took a seat next to him on the bench.
“Hanni is asking how to get a mommy,” Hannibal told him.
Will groaned. He had forgotten about the conversation earlier in the car. Another strike for Jack.
“Yea, he mentioned wanting a mother this morning on the drive. I really didn’t have much to tell him about having one.”
“I thought it would be best if we had this conversation with him together,” Hannibal rose and offered his hand to Will.
Will did not need help rising but took the hand.
“What do you think it’s all about? We had this talk with him before.”
“He might be getting to that age when he is actually noticing the differences between himself and the other children. That other families are not like ours and do things differently. He might want to fit in.”
The number of households that held two different gender parents was still the majority in the world. The number of families that things differently was even greater.
Will shrugged. That didn’t sound like their son but he was growing up. When they returned, Hanni was by his book case, trying to choose a book. His shirt had been miss buttoned and his still drying curls stuck in all direction. Hannibal chuckled and lifted him up.
“Lets finish drying your hair,” Hannibal said brining the boy back to his bed and sitting him down on his lap. “You can pick a book out after.”
Will set next to them, handing over the towel that was on the chair and unbuttoned the pajama top.
“Daddy, I can do it myself,” Hanni insisted when Will tried to put them in the right order.
“Papa said you were asking about getting a mommy,” Will started, keeping an eye on the little fingers.
Hanni nodded and looked up, “am I in trouble?”
“No, sweet boy, of course not. We just wanted to talk to you about it together,” Hannibal explained.
“Am I going to get a mommy?” Hanni asked and the excitement was not lost on the two men.
“No love, it’s not that easy,” Will explained.
“Hanni, some people have mommies and daddies while others have a set of each is because that’s who they fell in love with,” Hannibal said and even though he was talking to their son, he was looking at Will. “We don’t chose who we fall in love with. Many years ago I fell in love with your daddy and every day since then I’ve only loved him more.”
“And you love papa?” Hanni asked turned to Will.
“I love papa very much,” he answered, his eyes still on the other man. “I will always love him.”
There was a deep and somewhat frustrated sigh from the child as he looked at Hannibal. “But why?”
“Why I love your daddy?” He received a nod in response and Will tried not to take it the wrong way. “Your daddy is the smartest man I’ve ever met. Without him, I wouldn’t have you and without either of you this world be unbearable.”
It was a bit heavy for a four year old but he seemed to accept it. Hanni turned to Will and waited.
“My turn?” Will asked and watched the two sets of dark eyes waiting patiently. “Well it wasn’t his handsome looks.”
He got a mock glare for his wit from senior and a confused one from junior. Will chuckled and held up his hands.
“All right, it was because your papa is brilliant and unlike anybody else in this world. There is absolutely nothing he can’t do with his hands,” Will winked at Hannibal. “Without him the world would be a ruder, darker place.”
“Do you understand how it works?” Hannibal asked, a smile for his son and mirth sparkling in his eyes for his lover. “That there needs to be love for a family to happen?”
“Yes,” Hanni sighed but didn’t sound pleased.
The fathers exchanged a pained look and humor left them both. They wanted to give their son everything in the world. This, though, was something that was out of their hands.
“What’s wrong?” Will asked, reaching over to run the back of knuckles against the boy’s cheek.
Hanni took a shuddering breath and leaned towards his daddy, “I still want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”
There was a pause and both men exchanged a look of surprise.
“Hanni, what are you talking about?” Will asked.
“Peanut butter and jelly,” Hanni replied and didn’t volunteer any more information.
“What does that have to do with a mommy, son?” Hannibal was more specific in his question.
“Peter always has peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and he said mommy gives them to him and I want some too.”
There was a moment of shock before both fathers dissolved into laughter, burying their faces against the boy.
“Seems like you have something else to add to your shopping list,” Will chuckled as he caught his breath.
He watched his lover’s shoulders shake and laughed again. It wasn’t often that saw the other man undone by such jubilance.
“I’m sure I can make both at home.”
“Oh? No need to update your recipe rolodex?”
The only response Will got to that was a playful kick to his shin and that set him off again. He fell on his back and reached over for his son. He set Hanni on his chest who did not seem to understand the source of their happiness.
“You’re a very lucky little boy. Remember when I just about your papa? I’m sure if you asked him very nicely he will make you some.”
Hanni turned to his papa with wide eyes, “please papa? please?”
“Don’t forget about the cherries,” Will said in stage whisper.
“Please with cherries on top,” Hanni amended.
“We’ll go shopping tomorrow,” Hannibal answered with a nod.
There was a happy squeal from Hanni as he squirmed off his daddy and ran to throw his arms around Hannibal’s neck. The doctor wrapped his arms tightly around the boy and buried his face in the dark curls. The image melted away any left over anger in Will. The man before him was not the same one he met five years ago. He could feel the love Hannibal had for their son and it was overwhelming. When Hannibal’s eyes met his, he felt that love focused on him.
**
After a story and a few goodnight kisses, they left the room. No need for night lights when there was Winston to watch over the sleeping boy.
They walked quietly down the hallway, shoulder to shoulder till Will’s hand closed firmly around Hannibal’s wrist and pulled him into the family room. He didn’t stop pulling till he set down on the couch and Hannibal was in his lap. The older man quirked and eyebrow at him but didn’t object.
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I was upset and lashing out,” Will admitted. “ I know it has been hard. You gave up the Ripper for us. ”
“I only gave up the theatrics,” Hannibal said with would be considered modesty on somebody else.
“And what are you without your theatrics,” Will chuckled softly.
“A very dangerous man,” Hannibal said leaning in for a soft kiss. He shifted till he was straddling the younger man. “It is my turn to apologize. I was out of line this morning. I trust you Will, but I do not trust Jack Crawford.”
“You don’t have to trust him. I didn’t agree to do it full time. Just the ones where they’re in over their
heads,” Will ignored the look that Hannibal gave him. “You just have to trust me to know when it’s to much for me.”
“I am willing to agree on the terms that you trust me to pull you back,” Hannibal countered.
“You’re not my doctor,” Will reminded him with an amused smile.
“Nor am I your father,” Hannibal however fixed him with a stern look. “But I do have an outsiders prospective and want what is best for you. Do you not trust that I have your best interest at heart?”
Will settled his arms around Hannibal’s waist and pulled him slightly closer, “I would be a fool not to trust you.”
“We’ll do this together,” Hannibal said, leaning his forehead against the younger man. “You honestly think Jack will let you go once he has you in his clutches?”
Will laughed again and rolled his head back against the couch, “He’ll be pissed. He isn’t going to like it.”
Hannibal removed Will’s glasses, put them on and in a clear American accent said, “Then Jack could go fuck himself.”
Will’s laughed, “don’t be so crass.”
Hannibal chuckled at the awful impersonation and kissed Will, his hands finding there way into his hair to mess it up more than it was before. Will retuned the favor and watched the dark blonde strands fall over the glasses. Hannibal reached up and moved to remove the glasses but Will stopped him.
“No, leave them on.”
Will laughed into the kiss, feeling happy and light hearted. In this house he had a brilliant lover who always managed to make him smile and a son whose sweet innocence brought him peace.
There was no need for mommy or Uncle Jack in this house.