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By Your Bedside

Summary:

Xander wakes up, his lungs burning from harsh coughing, andwhen the coughing subsides, he sees Laslow at his bedside, and remembers how he was on death's door at the end of the last battle. He wonders why Laslow is waiting by his bedside. They talk once Laslow wakes up, and reveal some things to one another.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Xander awoke with a start as he began coughing harshly, his chest and throat burning with the action. He winced as he coughed, and when the fit ended he fell back against the pillows before blinking in confusion. The pillows felt much more stiff than his own, and smelled heavily of herbs he associated with the-

He shot upright, wincing at the pain that ran duly across his chest and blinked his eyes to clear them after being out for so long. His eyes slowly adjusted to the dark of the room, and confirmed his guess. He was in the infirmary with the others wounded in the battle against an army of invisible enemies in Corrin’s strange alternate world, which still perplexed him.

He listened to the soft breathing of those in the infirmary beside him, hoping he didn’t wake them with his next coughing fit before turning towards the bedside table he knew would be to one side of him, which hopefully had water, when he noticed.

He couldn’t move his left arm, nor could he feel it well. He looked over to it in a panic, before he saw a mop of messy hair made silvery-blue by the moon resting on his arm. He smiled gently at the man curled up on his arm in loose night clothes, who was draped on the cot in what seemed to be an uncomfortable position from his seat beside it. Xander furrowed his brow when he realized that Laslow must have been worried greatly after the battle, seeing as the man was at his bedside and after Xander himself questioned his ability to survive such a blow. Another wave of pain flashed through his chest and he grunted slightly, moving his arm from under his retainer to clutch at his stomach. Laslow groaned slightly, raising his head slightly and blinking the sleep from his eyes before gasping.

“M-Milord!? Y-you’re awake!” he cried, sitting upright immediately while Xander groaned through the wave of pain. “O-oh, thank Naga, y-you… I th-thought you….” He trailed off his voice growing softer and interrupted by the occasional sniffle. Once Xander wasn’t suffering horribly from the pain he turned to look at his retainer, and bit his lip at what he saw.

Laslow’s eyes were brimming with tears while he gripped the bedsheets tight enough to make his knuckles turn white. His eyes- Xander kept returning to them- they were brimming with fear, hope, pain, and happiness, and Xander felt himself drowning in the pure emotion that rolled off of Laslow through his eyes. He had to force himself to not bite his lip in concern for the man in front of him, who in that moment looked small, too small. “Xander…” Laslow bit his own lip then, looking away from Xander.

“Laslow… How… How long was I out for?” he asked softly, reaching for his retainer’s hand in an effort to comfort the shaken man. Laslow let out an uneasy breath.

“...” Xander took his hand, and he sighed. “...Four days, milord-” Xander cursed under his breath, “-I’m sorry, I-I should have protected you, this is a-all my fault-” Xander shushed him then, squeezing his hand.

“It was not your fault. Neither of us saw the enemy, and I was being irresponsible-”

“But I should have seen them!” he cried desperately, standing up to lean into Xander’s face. “You could have-! You almost died because of my negligence!” he practically screamed, and Xander was taken aback by the intensity of the emotion Laslow was displaying.

“Laslow-”

“No! You- I…” he broke into tears. “Xander, I can’t lose you too! I’ve lost everyone else except you, Selena, and Odin! I can’t lose you!” He leaned back, falling into the chair as he covered his face with his fists. “I can’t lose you... “ he repeated in a quieter voice, and Xander couldn’t stop himself from letting his nervous habit crop up. He stopped biting his lip when he noticed, and used his free hand to remove Laslow’s hands from his face before cupping it gently. He let out a shaky breath. Laslow looked at him with tears still streaming down his face, the skin blotchy and red from sobbing, and Xander’s stomach twisted at the sight.

“I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for scaring you, Laslow. I am sorry for never seeing the scope of the losses you have endured, for…” He brushed away Laslow’s tears gently with his thumb. Laslow grabbed his wrist weakly. “I am sorry for making you cry. I… I should have paid more attention to you, but-” He let out a sharp breath. “You didn’t see the soldier because they were coming from behind you. They…” Laslow made a sharp inhale.

“You…” Xander smiled weakly.

“I saw them coming and took the blow in your place.” Laslow whispered a curse Xander had never heard before as he rubbed his tears away with the heel of his palm, looking up at Xander with determined, reddened eyes. He took Xander by surprise by clapping his hands onto Xander’s cheeks, leaning in towards him. Xander cursed himself when he felt his cheeks grow warm at the sensation.

“You… You, Xander, a-are a fucking idiot. Why did you do that?! You could have been k-killed! Y-you’re- You’re more important than me, so why on Naga’s green planet would you sacrifice yourself?! What would Nohr, o-or your siblings, or Hoshido, or Valla, what would they do without you?!” he cried, and Xander flinched, averting his eyes from Laslow’s too-honest ones.

He steeled himself for Laslow’s inevitable resignation, and his stomach twisted, and his lip hurt from biting into it so hard. He hoped the man would be quick and kind about it. “What in all the realms would I do without you, Xander?! I… I love you!” Xander’s eyes shot back to meet Laslow’s again at that, shocked and hopeful and he felt his heart rose into his throat. Laslow continued, the tears welling in his eyes again. “A-And you tr-tried to… To leave me…?” He sniffled, blinking back the tears quickly. He steeled his expression. “Never do that again. Please, Xander. Never again.” Xander sighed gently.

“I cannot make any promises, Laslow, I… I’m sorry. I cannot say I would not do it again, for I would in a heartbeat if only to keep you…” He sighed, leaning his head into one of Laslow’s hands. “I would do it again to see you safe, because I…” He felt his throat close up around the words. “Because I…” He placed his hands on Laslow’s wrists gently, and to make up for his failure to speak, leaned in gently. They met briefly in a short kiss, and Xander felt a warm buzzing fill his head as he kissed Laslow, the man’s lips softer than he had imagined. He frowned as Laslow shoved him away, leaning back in his chair only moments later.

“Laslow-?”

“Stop!” Xander saw Laslow’s panicked face and had to force himself not to bite his lip again at the sight. “Xan- Mi-milord, d-don’t tease me like that…! Do- do not k-kiss me after I tell you I love you as consolance! I know you don’t love me back, I-I know! Why would a prince ever fall in love with his playboy retainer anyways…?” Laslow gripped his arm tight. “I’m just a no-good, lying, half-blood, lowly-”

“Stop! Laslow, stop it! You are none of those things-!”

“But I am, Xander! Laslow’s not even my real name!” He jolted back at his slip. “Shit, I shouldn’t have said-”

“What… What is your real name, if you do not mind me asking,” Xander questioned softly, and he saw his retainer bite his lip in the moonlight.

“... Inigo. My real name is Inigo.” Las- Inigo began, and Xander nodded at the admittance. “I was born in another world in a land named Ylisse to Prince Chrom and his commoner wife Olivia.” Xander blinked owlishly as he listened intently, obviously shocked, but nodded again to show he understood. “When I was young, monsters called the Risen began invading Ylisse. My father and his Shepherds did their best to try and defeat them, but…” Inigo shivered. “They failed. My sister Lucina, and all the others with us, all children of the Shepherds, were helped by the dragon-god of our land, Naga, to return to the past to help our parents and join the battle against the Risen with our knowledge from fighting the war the first time.” Xander shivered hearing the tale of atrocities Inigo had witnessed. He knew the man had seen war before, but not as intimately as was being described.

“The Shepherds faced a great foe; the dragon-god Grima, creator of the monsters that ravaged Ylisse and destroyed the future me and the others came from. We fought long and hard, but… We won. We won the battle, killed the dragon-god, and saved this future from destruction.” Xander grabbed Inigo’s hand. “But, soon, me, Selena, and Odin were approached by a cloaked stranger. He begged us to follow him to his world, to save it from another conqueror god-dragon, and… We agreed. We no longer belonged in a world where our future selves were soon to be born, and so we gave up Ylisse to save another land.”

“You came here.”

“We came here.” Xander nodded, before leaning forwards.

“Inigo, you were not a liar. You were hiding something for safety. We will no longer need to hide that for long, as the enemy is growing closer every day, yeah?” Inigo smiled at his quick colloquialistic slip, then nodded. Xander smiled. “So…” he began, soft smile morphing into a playful one. “Would I be stepping above my place in asking you, Prince Inigo, what Ylisse was like?” Xander watched the man turn bright red at the mention of his station, and his smile grew as Inigo laughed at the question.

“I believe you have every right, Xander.” He smiled. “Ylisse is a bright place, and Hoshido is the closest parallel to it here, but it is… Sunnier? I don’t know how to put it into words, honestly. Odin would be better able to describe it. But it’s like Nohr, if Nohr were sunny, and warm, and free of corruption.”

“So… Hoshido.” Inigo laughed.

“Not quite. Our clothes are more like Nohrian ones in happier colors. But Ylisse is beautiful. I… I miss it, Xander. I miss my mother, even though the version of her I knew best… Even though that her died in my arms.” He put his head in his hands, and Xander put a comforting hand on his shoulder, ignoring the twinge of pain that rippled through his own shoulder at the motion. Inigo looked up after a moment, his cheeks a bit more patchy than before, but he was still smiling. Xander gave him a concerned look. “But, it’s fine, that’s over now and I just kissed a prin….” he trailed off, and Xander smiled at him before leaning down towards him again. He prayed the words wouldn’t stick in his throat again, else when (and it’s most certainly when not if) Elise finds out, she’ll give him hell for being a “lovestruck fool, just go out there and kiss him already, uhg! You’ve been crushing on him for a year now, Xan, you gotta go out there and get ‘im!”

“Inigo, I was trying to tell you before, but.. I… I could not say it due to my own fears, but I will try again now. I…” He took a deep breath. “I l-love…” he cursed himself for his own fear, making him stutter. “... you too, I-Inigo. I love y-you too.” He heard Inigo gasp, and he bit his lip again before looking up at him. The man looked awestruck, as though he’d just been given a pristine weapon for free.

“W-wait, so you kissing me earlier… You were doing that because you... You do feel the same…?” Inigo asked, voice soft, hopeful. Xander smiled, aware it looked shy as he had dropped the mask of formality he normally kept. He nodded. Inigo covered his mouth with one hand as tears welled up in his eyes for the fourth time that night. Xander reached to him, concerned as Inigo rubbed away the tears before standing. Xander opened his mouth to ask him not to leave quite yet, but Inigo beat him to it, grabbing Xander’s hand and intertwining their fingers as he heaved onto the cot. Xander looked up at him in confusion, mouth still slightly agape before Inigo gave him a soft smile and leaned down, kissing him. Xander settled into the action easily, smiling into the kiss as he felt the warm buzz travel to his head and down his spine in a comforting way. Inigo pulled away for breath too soon in Xander’s opinion.

“... Inigo, can you stay here tonight, with me…?” he asked softly, and the man above him smiled.

“I would like it no other way, Xander.” Then, he kissed him one last time, quickly, before rolling to Xander’s side and cuddling the man, obviously trying to be the big spoon. Xander couldn’t quite suppress quiet laughter at the action, but went along with it, falling asleep peacefully soon after.

 

Elise yawned as she walked into the med-tent with Camilla, whining to her sister about how early it was.

“Oh darling, hush, you like helping people no matter the hour,” her sister reprimanded and she sighed, stretching briefly to wake herself further.

“I know, I know, sis, I’m just tired after that battle from a few days ago! I’ve been working really late making sure everyone stays in good condition.” Camilla hummed.

“True. Anyways, where is our darling big brother in here? I’ve been worried sick about the poor thing! I’m just glad Laslow pulverized the monster who hurt Xan-Xan, and that he got him to you before it was too late… I’ll end those invisible freaks for doing that to him…” Elise simply hummed as she skipped into the tent, holding the flap for her sister.

“Big Bro’s cot is further back so it’s got better lighting, since Laslow’s been worried sick these past 2 days. He won’t leave except when I make Effie make him leave! So I made sure he’d be able to tell when Xannie got better by putting them near the window. He just sleeps in one of the cotside chairs, poor thing,” she said as she checked the sleeping patients’ vitals. Camilla giggled.

“Oh, I know why that is~” she cooed, and Elised turned to her quickly, clasping her hands together.

“Ooo! Gossip! Share, Milla, share!” Camilla laughed again before putting her finger over her lips.

“It seems little Laslow has fallen for our Xan-Xan, and fallen hard if what Selena tells me about their conversations is true.” Elise gasped.

“No way,” she said, disbelievingly. Camilla tilted her head.

“Oh? What do you know, Elise darling?” The girl was bouncing on her heels, grinning wide.

“‘Cause Xannie keeps talking to me ‘bout his feelings for Laslow, that’s why!” She spun around with a laugh. “Oh man, I can’t wait for them to tell each other! It’ll be so romantic, Milla!” Camilla laughed again, more heartily this time.

“Oh my, I do hope we can see that happen.” She smiled again. “But we should really check on our darling brother now, since you’ve finished with your other patients.” Elise nodded and skipped over to the bed before gasping dramatically.

“Oh. My. Gods. Milla! Look at this!” Elise whispered excitedly, and so Camilla peeked over the head of her younger sibling, gasping softly as she saw Laslow curled around Xander while both slept soundly, Laslow’s hand resting in Xander’s hair while Xander held onto Laslow’s other hand in his sleep. Both sisters giggled softly to himself before stepping away softly.

“Well, I suppose we won’t be seeing it happen now, seeing as it must have happened last night. However, we can now be on the lookout for any cute behavior or…” Camilla dropped her voice dramatically. “Love bites.” Elise covered her mouth to hide a squeal.

“Oh my gods, Milla, this is gonna be so fun!” she said as they walked out of the tent to retrieve more herbs from the garden beside it. She smiled then as they began gather items. “But, I’m glad it was Laslow. He’s a nice guy, and Xander really likes him. They’ll both be really happy together, I’m sure.” Camilla hummed in agreement.

“Yes, I’m sure they will. They deserve each other. Although, if Laslow attempts to flirt with more women now…” Elise smacked her on the shoulder.

“Milla! I’m sure he’ll stop now! Anyways, we should go tell the others! And get Odin up, he promised he’d help me grind herbs today while we tell each other stories!” Camilla laughed and nodded, putting the picked herbs in baskets and setting them inside the tent.

“Of course. But, Elise, you’re right. They’re good for each other.” She smiled. “It will probably end well. Very well, I’m hoping.”

Notes:

alright!! so this was fun!! I really enjoyed writing it!! i hope you guys enjoy reading it too!!

This is my fill for the Xanlow Exchange 2017 for mariyekos.tumblr.com!! I hope they enjoy it!!