Chapter Text
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All of this felt like it was too good to be true. Alec didn’t know what to make of it. He’d heard Isabelle talk about the boys and girls she’d been with. How it felt to be attracted to them, that first rush of lust , and once or twice that faint hint of something that might be more . He’d also heard Jace’s bragging exploits about the people that he’d been with. But none of the things they’d ever talked about had prepared Alec for this .
He wasn’t sure anything could’ve prepared him for this kind of thing. For the amount of feeling that Magnus gave him just from telling him that he wanted to spend time with him. Alec couldn’t understand it, didn’t get why Magnus would be so eager to spend time with him that he’d portal him to and fro each and every day, but he couldn’t deny that it made his heart swell a little more to hear him say it.
However, at the word clingy , Alec mentally flinched just a little. Then he narrowed his eyes.
He knew the kind of scorn that had hidden behind that word. The embarrassment. It was one he’d used himself time and again when thinking about or repeating the parts of himself that everyone seemed to always find fault with.
“I don’t know who called you clingy, but they were an idiot,” Alec said bluntly. This time he didn’t even try to censor his words. “I like the way you are with me. You don’t act clingy. You… you make me feel safe and wanted like no one else ever has. I don’t want you to hide or pretend to be someone you’re not. I like you just the way you are.”
Pausing, he cleared his throat and tried to keep the same confidence in his words. He’d just got through insisting that it was okay for Magnus to be clingy . He couldn’t let himself worry about doing the same thing.
Alec’s voice was a bit softer, a bit gentler. “Your presence is always welcome with me, too. I always want you where I am.”
~!~
Magnus’ eyes widened and he stared at Alec in shock, his throat tightening, his glamour falling again as he felt the power and certainty behind those words. He blinked hard, trying to clear the tears that were threatening, and his throat from the tightness that was making it difficult to speak. “Sometimes I don’t quite know how you can be real, Alec,” he managed, tightening his hold on Alec’s hand, tugging him into an alcove so he could nuzzle into Alec’s neck again, inhaling the scent of his skin, all of his senses settling at the touch.
He breathed out slowly and pressed a brief kiss to Alec’s neck, getting himself back under control before he looked up at Alec again. Magnus tried to smile, but even now, he could feel just how much his magic wanted him to crawl into Alec’s arms and never leave. Perhaps ever.
“You just called a great many of my exes idiots, Alexander,” Magnus teased, giving him another squeeze, before pulling back to look up at him. He traced his eyes over Alec’s jaw and along his face and just admired him for a long time before shaking his head, leaning in to press his nose to Alec’s neck again. “I hope, someday, Alec, you understand just how incredible of a person you are, and how remarkable you are to me and everyone else.”
Magnus swallowed and closed his eyes, sinking into Alec’s arms, into the hold that was oh-so-comfortingly tight on him. As much as he wanted that for Alec, that would likely also spell the day that Alec realized he was far too good for him. But that was hopefully a long way off, and he wouldn’t need to think about it. Instead, he could have this, and he was going to do everything in his power to keep it.
“I like you just the way you are too, you know,” Magnus whispered, breathing against Alec’s neck. “All of it. Exactly how you are. I wouldn’t change a single thing.” He paused and started to smile. “Except maybe your taste in mattresses. I don’t know how you sleep on that bed of yours in the Institute.” He pulled back and reached out to cup Alec’s face in his palms, bringing him down for a soft kiss.
“Now come on, shadowhunter. An hour getting your work done, and we can spend the rest of the evening on my very comfy couch, and even comfier bed,” Magnus teased, opening a portal for the two of them. “I hope you don’t mind skipping the walk back to the Institute. I’d rather have more cuddle time. Or more burning-off-the-adrenaline-in-sexy-ways time. I’m open to either.”
~!~
It wasn’t easy to keep from arguing with Magnus when he once again tried to insist on how great he seemed to think Alec was. While Alec didn’t see it, nor did he understand the appeal, he chalked it up to the dragon part of Magnus who’d clearly laid some sort of claim to him and making Alec out to be more than he was.
Or, it was just really bad exes who’d distorted Magnus’ perception of what was good to begin with.
He held his tongue on that subject, too, though it was definitely harder. From the sounds of it, Magnus must not have had very many good people in his past if that was how they’d made him feel.
Instead of focusing on that, Alec chose instead to focus on this. Right here, right now. The heat of Magnus against him, the promise in his eyes, and the warmth of his smile as he teased Alec about his bed - which he wasn’t wrong, was terrible, especially compared to Magnus’.
Alec took in and soaked up the way Magnus kept looking at him like he was everything that was important in the world. No one had ever looked at him like that before, and Raziel willing, Magnus would continue to look at him like that again and again and again.
Alec looked at Magnus in the light of the nearby portal. It reflected on his skin in the faint blue sheen that Alec already associated with the other man’s magic. It gave him an almost ethereal look. One that stole Alec’s breath away. He looked at Magnus, the way he stood there smiling at Alec, how he kept hold of his hand and could have tugged him forward yet was still standing there, still waiting for Alec to come to him, to come with him , and Alec knew - he knew he was lost.
They said nephilim love once, and they love fiercely. What they didn’t spread around was that they loved hard and fast as well. For a people who went out each night knowing that it could be their last, there were no long courtships, no half-feelings when they found someone. They loved with every ounce of themselves. And being a race with the blood of angels with them - beings who were created from God’s love - that was an almost terrifying amount of love to give.
This man, this beautiful, amazing, wonderful man who he barely knew, who had seen him at his worst and still seemed to want to stick around, who already meant so much to him in such a short time, held so much of Alec’s heart already.
He should’ve been afraid. No, he should’ve been terrified. To hand himself over to someone who could shatter him with one wrong touch, one wrong word .
Yet Alec smiled at him with an ease that he had never felt before. He squeezed Magnus’ hand and stepped up beside him, right in front of the portal. “Sounds good to me.”
Holding on to one another, the two stepped through the portal side by side.
Just the way it should be.
~!~
One Month Later
They’d done it.
Two hours later and Alec still couldn't quite grasp it. He sat in his office - his office - staring at the room in front of him with a sense of awe that he couldn’t quite erase. Hadn’t been able to, really, since the moment Imogen Herondale had looked at him across that table and held her hand out to congratulate him.
“Congratulations, Mr. Lightwood,” she said, looking so serious and yet almost smiling at him. “May the Angel bless you and your Institute.”
Alec still had no idea how he’d gotten anywhere once he’d left Imogen’s office. He had a feeling it was all thanks to Jace, who’d been waiting for him out in the hallway. His parabatai had come with him as a show of support. He’d been the only one that Alec had told about this final meeting. No one else had any idea that today had been the day he was going to present his paperwork to the Clave and make his bid for control of the Institute.
Getting here hadn’t been easy. It’d taken days of hard work, filling out countless bits of paperwork in which he had to make sure he’d crossed every T and dotted every I. Alec knew he had to do his best to make sure there were no loose threads someone could use to unravel everything he was trying to do here. Alec did his best to make sure his paperwork was ironclad, that he’d prepared his speech, practiced his arguments just in case.
He’d gone over it with Magnus so many times the poor man probably could’ve answered any questions just as easily as Alec could.
All of that hard work had led to this moment. This meeting.
Early that morning Alec had submitted his paperwork to remove himself as Acting Head and officially Claim the Institute as his own. This afternoon, he’d gone to Idris to present his case to the Inquisitor.
Even though Alec had done everything he could to make sure that he was going to win this, actually getting it was something else entirely.
This is mine , he thought, looking around his office again. For better or worse, Alec had Claimed the New York Institute as his own. He was Head, with all the rights afforded to them, raised and lauded by the Inquisitor herself.
No one could come in here and threaten to take away his Institute anymore. They couldn't use it as leverage over him to get him to obey. Shadowhunters were a martial people. While he answered to a Higher Authority in the form of the Inquisitor and the Clave, here in New York, Alec was in charge. The only way he could be removed now was if he committed a crime worthy of it, or was voted out by a majority of his people.
A low laugh bubbled up in Alec’s throat. He’d celebrated this with Jace, taken the hug and kiss from his sister, but there was only one person he wanted to see now. One person he wanted to tell his good news to.
Someone whom he no longer had to hide for fear the Clave would take everything away before he could get it.
Alec grinned widely to himself. He thought about calling Magnus, blurting out the news over the phone. Or racing over to the loft to let him know. But in the end, he held back from that.
Instead, grin slowly growing, Alec reached out for a piece of paper and a pen.
~!~
At the sound of a fire message, Magnus looked up from the calendar he had been scowling at for the better part of two hours and growled, a curl of smoke escaping from his lips. Trying to find more than twenty-four hours in succession that he and Alec could have off together was a nightmare, but it was always worth it when they could manage it. He caught the message and relaxed at the sight of very familiar handwriting. It couldn’t be too urgent if Alec was fire messaging him instead of calling him.
High Warlock Bane,
Your presence is immediately requested at the New York Institute.
Please arrive at your soonest possible convenience.
Alec Lightwood, Head of the New York Institute
Magnus frowned at the letter and read it a second time. If it was urgent, why hadn’t Alec called him, or sent a text or…
A third read-through gave him the answer.
Head of the New York Institute
Head, not Acting Head.
Magnus leaped out of his office chair, their calendars entirely forgotten, his heart pounding in excitement as he summoned a portal for himself straight to the steps of the Institute. Alec had done it! He’d managed it, despite everything, and now, now, there was no one who could take it away from him. All the long nights researching, practicing his arguments, his speeches, the two of them discussing it for hours at a time, all of it, it had paid off!
Stepping up to the wards, Magnus knew he set off the proximity alarm and waved to the two shadowhunters who immediately stepped out of the building. “Good afternoon, I’ve been summoned by your Head of the Institute, it’s a matter of urgency, from what he said?”
When both of them paused and then shared a look, Magnus had to raise his eyebrows, but he was immediately brought into the Institute, and straight to the heart of Operations where it looked like Alec was waiting for him.
~!~
It was hard not to break character when Magnus came swanning into the Institute. Alec had known he would answer his summons quickly. Not only would Magnus always rush if there was even a hint that Alec needed him - something that still made Alec blush even a month later, and which he did his damndest to make sure he never abused - Magnus was also smart . He’d notice the subtle little clue in that note.
Because of that, Alec had hurried to the Ops Center after he’d sent the message. He wanted to be in place when Magnus arrived.
And oh, it was worth the rush. Alec’s rushing meant that he was there to watch as Magnus came into the Institute with bright eyes and a smile already teasing at his lips.
The way his eyes scanned the room and finally lit upon him was something Alec had yet to grow tired of. He’d thought it would change, the way Magnus looked at him. Not go away - though some days his fears got the better of him and he still worried about that - but that maybe it would grow less with time. Only, Magnus continued to look at Alec like he was the only person in the room every time he saw him. It was a heady feeling.
Alec drew himself up a little under that regard. He held back his smile, though he knew Magnus would be able to see it anyways.
“High Warlock Bane,” Alec greeted him formally. He could see the excitement in Magnus’ eyes, see that he knew, just as Alec had known he would. But the formal greeting would likely throw him off. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”
~!~
Magnus nodded to the two shadowhunters who both inclined their heads and left both he and Alec standing in the middle of the Operations floor, activity buzzing around them. Of course, Magnus knew most of it was contrived. Every eye that could afford to be on the both of them was, but he would never look away from his Alexander unless he had to.
But then Alec greeted him using his formal title and he paused, wondering if he had read everything wrong. But Alec was still smiling that small, hidden smile he reserved for between the two of them, so it couldn’t be anything bad.
Magnus coughed and nodded, inclining his head to Alec, grinning at him. “I’m always happy to be available for the Head of the Institute, Mr. Lightwood,” he added just a little purr to the words, because he did enjoy the way it made Alec’s eyes darken. “What can a warlock of my meager talents do for you today?”
~!~
Alec fought back the laugh that threatened to bubble up. Still, he couldn’t quite resist lifting one eyebrow. “Meager talents?”
He shook his head and dismissed that. He didn’t want to get caught up in playful bantering. Not when he had a goal in mind. One that he’d thought about off and on ever since he’d started this plan, and more so these last few weeks as it all began to come together.
Chin held high, Alec took a step down the stairs, keeping his posture steady and tall as he went. “As I said, I appreciate you coming on such short notice. I know your time is precious. I hope we didn’t interrupt anything important.” He went down the last few steps until he was level with Magnus. His people moved, opening up a path between them, and Alec knew they were all watching. “Some things have recently come to light that need to be brought to your attention.”
While they’d never confirmed it for anyone, Alec knew that his and Magnus’ relationship was one of the worst kept secrets of the New York Institute. The warlock had been seen coming and going far too many times to be just anything. No matter what story they tried to tell to excuse him for being there.
That was fine. By the time Alec was done here, everyone in the Shadow World would know that he was Magnus’, and Magnus was his .
~!~
Magnus couldn’t help grinning at the raised eyebrow Alec gave him, but for some reason, his shadowhunter didn’t let it lead into their customary banter. It was easy to sense the excitement and the quiet in the room and he glanced around, realizing that even more people seemed to be in Operations than before.
“While making my schedule align in a few ways is indeed important, it’s nothing that I wouldn’t put down if my help is needed.” Magnus raised an eyebrow right back at Alec. “Though I confess myself to being quite curious as to what exactly has come to light that needs to be brought to my attention.”
It was easy to feel the air of excitement that was saturating the entire room, almost like the Institute herself was holding her breath, waiting to see what Alec would do. No matter what, Magnus would stand beside his shadowhunter, just like he knew that Alec would stand beside him. He forced himself to relax and let his magic reach out to touch Alec, invisible to the others around them, but a simple reassurance that Alec himself was all right.
With that confirmed, Magnus waited for whatever surprise Alec had in store for him. Hopefully, it was the one that he had hinted in his fire message.
~!~
This was it.
Alec could likely draw it out a little more - Magnus undoubtedly would if he were in Alec’s shoes. He had a flair for the dramatic that Alec could never hope to compete with. Even this was more than Alec usually did. But he wanted to make a statement here. Not just to his people around them, but to Magnus, too.
He knew now just how much insecurity lived underneath the brave and bold exterior that Magnus liked to put up around others. He’d learned in the quiet moments between them, when they both let down the walls they kept up around others, that Magnus was just as insecure as he was. That he feared so many of the same things Alec did. Only, he had lifetimes of experience to back up those fears. Countless moments where people had proved to him over and over again that they weren’t going to stay, that Magnus wasn’t important enough for them to stay, to show him off to the world.
Idiots. All of them.
Alec strove to do his best every single day to make absolutely sure that Magnus always knew that he was there for him. That he wanted to be there with him, and that he wasn’t ashamed.
This was going to be a giant step in that direction. They were safe now, as safe as Alec could currently make them, and Alec planned on taking full advantage of that. He was going to make damn sure Magnus left here today knowing just how important he was to Alec. More important than anything and anyone else.
But he wasn’t going to do it with words. Words were Magnus’ forte.
Instead, Alec fell back on what he did best.
Actions and honesty.
It was the easiest thing in the world to take that first step toward Magnus. Then another, and another, closing the distance between them little by little with a purposeful stride. He paid no attention to all the eyes that were now shamelessly watching them. The people around them weren’t even trying to hide the way they watched them now.
All eyes were on the two as Alec walked right up to Magnus and there, in the center of his home, the heart of a place that was now his , Alec reached out and cupped Magnus’ face between his hands, and he drew the other man in for a kiss that left absolutely no doubt in the minds of anyone watching just how much he wanted him. Alec poured everything he felt, everything he was , into that kiss.
When they broke apart, he smiled down at Magnus and said the words that had been sitting in his heart. The ones he’d been clinging to from far too early in their relationship. “I love you, Magnus Bane,” he said, soft and yet ringing clearly around them, his voice pitched to make sure anyone and everyone heard him. “And I don’t plan on hiding it for a single second longer.”
~!~
Magnus stared in shock as Alec walked closer, and then closer still, until there was barely any space between them at all and… He barely had time to register Alec’s hands on his face, pulling him up just a fraction until he was being kissed hard, possessive, and demanding. It was the kind of kiss that Alec always reserved for when they were alone, where they could let the passion, the fire between the both of them grow and expand until it consumed them.
But instead, this time, this time Alec pulled back and smiled, and maybe one day Magnus wouldn’t feel completely broken open by the sincerity and honesty in that smile. Maybe one day it wouldn’t make something deep in his heart break apart, only to be remade again, but, if he was honest, he never wanted that day to come. He always wanted to be this devastated by his Alexander.
Then, of course, Alec had to go one step further and one up even that. His eyes widened and he stared at Alec, his heart pounding far too hard, his mouth dry, and his magic rioting just under his skin. All at once, with a snap he felt as much as heard, Magnus surged up against Alec, pulling him down and into a desperate kiss, completely overwhelmed by the very open, and very public declaration Alec had just made.
Even when their lips slid apart and Magnus was aware that he was trembling, his arms shaking, his magic an excited ball of energy in his chest, he knew there was only one thing he could say. He let the glamour on his eyes fall, a sight for Alec alone, and smiled at him, leaning up to kiss him again. “I love you too, Alexander Lightwood,” he breathed, kissing Alec again, and then again. “My Alec,” he whispered, possessiveness in every syllable, his magic reaching out to cling to Alec, uncaring that they were in public. This moment was theirs, for them, and no one would take it away or interrupt.
Alec had declared, in a way that would ensure the entire Clave and Downworld would know within hours that they were together, and they would stay together. In his almost five hundred years of living, Magnus had never had anyone claim him so openly and so decisively. He was Alec’s choice, and no one, no one could take that away from them.
Pulling back from the kiss again, Magnus grinned as he heard a whoop from what had to be Isabelle not far away. He cleared his throat, but didn’t step away from where he was pressed oh-so-carefully into Alec’s arms. “I take it your pitch to become Head of the Institute went according to plan, then?” he teased.
~!~
For a moment Alec wasn’t entirely sure if it was Magnus’ magic or just something inside of him sparking all around his heart like that.
It never failed to warm Alec through and through to hear the possessive quality of Magnus’ voice when he called him My Alec . But it was nothing compared to the feelings that exploded inside of him at hearing Magnus return his I love you . Alec had said those words because he couldn’t bear keeping them locked inside his heart any longer. He hadn’t expected Magnus to return them, though he’d hoped.
Hearing it said here of all places, in Alec’s home, meant all the more. That Magnus was willing to say them here in front of everyone was a gift he didn’t take for granted. It left Alec feeling giddier than he had when Imogen had congratulated him and given him the Institute. Alec had always known which one of those meant more to him; getting the Institute was something he wanted, yes. It was something he’d worked hard for. But at the same time, he knew he’d give it all up if it meant keeping Magnus. The fact that he could have both was something he’d worked hard for.
A smile curved Alec’s lips when Magnus smiled up at him, still pressed in close like he couldn't quite bear to move away.
“Yeah,” Alec finally answered. He had to clear his throat to make his voice work again without sounding hoarse. “Yeah. The Institute is mine now, unless I do something worthy of having it taken away. I just got it this afternoon, and all I could think of was telling you.”
Alec moved his hands so he could better stroke his thumbs over Magnus’ cheeks. He looked down into the other man’s face and felt himself soften even more in a way he wouldn't typically let anyone else except Magnus see. At the moment he could have cared less who saw him. Let them look. Let them see just how important he is to me. Alec was done hiding.
“We both kept this kind of quiet because we knew the risks. But I refuse to hide you for a single second longer than I have to.” Alec bent down to brush a soft, chaste kiss over Magnus’ lips. “You mean the world to me, Magnus. More than I ever expected one person could. I don’t want to ever have to hide that again. I want everyone to know just how lucky I am to have someone as amazing, wonderful, and beautiful as you in my life. I’m proud to call you mine, and to be yours. And I’m ready for everyone to know it.”
Things weren’t going to magically become easy after this. Even though the Clave wasn’t going to be able to take away his Institute just because of this, it didn’t mean they weren’t going to try and make trouble for him. Not to mention any of the other shadowhunters here in his Institute who might not be all too happy. Alec had done his best to get rid of any bad apples, but there was no telling if he’d missed someone. And that wasn’t even touching on the Downworlders who might not be happy that their beloved High Warlock was ‘lowering himself’ to date a shadowhunter.
They were going to face plenty of trouble for their relationship. On both sides. Scorn, ridicule, disgust, and who knew what else.
But as Alec looked down into the face of the man he loved, he knew it was worth it. It was all worth it. Just as he knew he’d fight to keep it.
Magnus might’ve been the dragon in their relationship, prone to a bit more possessiveness and protectiveness than most, but like hell if Alec was going to let anyone get between him and his love. He and Magnus would burn to the ground anyone and anything that tried to stand in their way.
Together.