Chapter Text
CHAPTER 20 ==> 3 YEARS LATER
Your name is John Egbert and you really hate your Ethics and Methods of Biological Research class. It’s boring-- painfully boring. And, in all honestly, you really just want to get home. Despite that you really like your program, having the methods of how to properly conduct research amongst people in an ethical and safe way explained to you for the thousandth time is starting to make you want to smash your face off the desk. Repeatedly. Also, you would be lying if you weren’t particularly excited to get home today.
Today, your boyfriend is planning a surprise birthday party that you have completely and 100% h known about for weeks. You know that he tried so you don’t really care either way. Plus you’ve been practicing your surprised face all morning in the mirror, so you think that you’re ready! Your birthday so far hasn’t been very eventful. You’ve had three lectures today that you didn’t want to go to when you rolled out of bed at the crack of nine, and you finally, finally get to go home and see your friends and family. When your prof manages to make her last remark you practically burst out of the class room, pushing past people so you can get to your van and drive home.
When you get to your van you slam the door and dig through the piles of mixtapes that Dave has sort of gotten in the habit of making you at least once a month. Though he’s pretty busy with his degree as well (it sort of feels like you haven’t even hung out in weeks), he still manages to pop one of them out for you so you have something new to jam to every morning when you go to work. He also has taken to the habit of writing a cheesy rap for you hidden in the lineup, which always come on at the most embarrassingly inconvenient times (you don’t want to talk about the trip with your grandfather and the rap about the one time you might have made out with Dave in a Sears changing room). You decide on your favourite; the first one he ever made for you. Even though you’ve heard it at least a thousand times and it’s pretty old, you never really get tired of it.
The sounds of Wheatus fill your ears and you press the gas, pulling out of the school parking lot. You’ve managed to get a small apartment on top of a local bookstore only a five minute drive from campus a couple years back, and it’s been basically the best freaking place ever for the last little while you’ve lived there. It’s not really lonely, since almost all your friends joined you when you came here to university. Well, with the exception of Rose and Kanaya, who are now engaged and on a tour of Europe before they decide to finish their schooling in god knows where. You still get pictures every once in a while on Facebook of them doing something freaking crazy, like standing on top of a mountain in the Alps or spending a couple of months teaching English to Mongolian children. They’re always happy, especially since you know Rose hasn’t picked up a bottle except for wine sampling in France since she quit drinking.
The drive home is easy and you sort of try not to be CRAZY STUPID EXCITED for your surprise birthday party. All your friends are waiting for you in there, and some of them you haven’t seen for a long time. You pull into the parking lot behind all the shops and get out of your van, trying not to run to see them all. You walk up the stairs as normally as you can and throw open the door, expecting your surprise.
It doesn’t come.
You blink a few times and look around the room, expecting to see the banner that Dave hinted about and the balloons he always gets you. They aren’t there. Maybe you read the signs wrong? You half-heartedly throw down your laptop bag and flop on the couch, turning on the old re-runs of The Price Is Right.
A noise sounds from the kitchen and you hear your boyfriend sneak up behind you-- something you’ve gotten attuned to by now. He places his hands over your eyes and you can almost feel his smirk.
“President Nixon? Is that you? Has your spirit returned to me from beyond the grave?” You ask, feeling a stupid smile grow on your own face.
“Yes, I came here to tell you that your boyfriend is the greatest man alive, and I would know because I’m dead. Also you should probably let him touch your butt more or something.” He says in his best ghost voice.
“But Nixon, I didn’t know you supported gay rights?” You say, starting to laugh.
“Fuck the gays.” He deadpans, removing his hands and jumping over the edge of the couch to join you. You roll your eyes and plop your head on his lap, staring up at him. He gives you a small, genuine smile that you still sort of think is the best thing ever and you find it harder to be disappointed about your lack of surprise party.
“Dave, ask me about my day so I can tell you it was the biggest haul of bullshit that anyone has ever shit ever.” You whine. Dave nods sympathetically and runs his hands through your hair.
“Did your prof talk about the time she OD’d on ecstasy again?” He asks gently. You shake your head and hum at the feeling of Dave’s fingers. You relax into his lap a little more before answering.
“No, it was just long and dumb. For once, biology sucked. I couldn’t give less of a single shit about reaction kinetics, Dave. Do you know how boring that is!? Besides, it’s my birthday… and I’m not doing anything. Can we go bowling or something?” You ask him, pouting and pressing your face into his jeans. Dave lets out a weird breathy laugh and shakes his head.
“You really think I didn’t do any for your birthday, Egbert? I’m hurt. Wounded even.” He says, pulling out a slightly crumpled envelope. You gasp dramatically and sit up to face him.
“Dave! Thanks.” You say, smiling before you open it. You rip the edge and there is a card slightly forced inside. Its covered in some of Dave’s classic SBAHJ characters telling you that it’s THE BIRTHDAY and things are about to get HELLA SNOZZED UP and then a bunch of poorly drawn marijuana graphics. You grin and open it up, two tickets falling out.
Your face drops as soon as you read them.
“Dave are- Are you fucking serious right now?” You ask, hoping he answers soon so you can kiss him until he cannot breathe anymore. He nods and you jump on his lap, pressing him into the couch and kissing him feverishly. In your hands you hold two tickets to a VIP tour of a Ghostbusters tribute in New York that you thought you weren’t going to be able to go to, and Bill MOTHERFUCKING Murray is going to be there and everything and you’ve been talking about it for months and basically, Dave is 100% going to have so much sex today.
Between kisses, you are grinning. Finally you manage to stop and stare at him with the most serious expression. “Dave Strider, fuck me right now. I don’t even care, just put your dick somewhere in me because I love you so much you beautiful angel.” Dave flushes and shakes his head (you’ve been having sex pretty much constantly for the past three years and he still blushes every fucking time, and you are so in love with Dave it’s stupid).
“Ahh Egbert, not that I don’t appreciate the enthusiasm, and I’m going to definitely take you up on that later, but I actually made you a fucking romantic as shit birthday dinner on the roof, like I’m talking lady and the tramp shit, and it would be a s-shame if it was wasted.” He stammers while you kiss his neck. You pull back and quirk a brow.
“THE Dave Strider managed to cook something, like real food, without burning the apartment down?” You ask. Dave frowns.
“First of all, rude John. Yes I did, and I covered it but the birds are getting smarter and it’s only gonna last so long.” You nod and reluctantly get off of him, taking his hand as he leads you up the stairs to the roof. It’s a journey you’ve made a million times, either to watch Dave and his Bro’s fight when they come to visit, or to fill up a kiddy pool and sit in it during the summer months. Sometimes you both just sit up there when you don’t really want to pay attention to any of your responsibilities. Most of the time when you and Dave have dinner up there, it’s Taco Bell takeout or something and you eat with your legs swinging over the edge of the building and a killer view of the city. You could go for some fancy dining though too! It’s the thought that counts, but you’re a little afraid of Dave’s cooking skills none the less.
What you weren’t expecting though when you got to the roof was all your friends to be standing around with a very enthusiastic, delayed yell of surprise.
Needless to say, you got your surprise party after all. You turn to Dave and grin.
“I thought-“
“I know. Geez Egbert, it’s like you don’t even know me.” You smile and pull him into a side hug. Everyone you know and love is here. Jade and Karkat both wave at you—well, Jade does. Karkat gives you more of an acknowledgement nod.
“John!!” Jade shouts, making her way over to you, Karkat in tow. “Happy Birthday, cousin!”
“Thanks, Jade. I didn’t think you guys would be able to come to something like this, not with all the wedding planning you have to-“
“SHUSH, John! We still haven’t told people here yet, I don’t want to mention it tonight if I can help it! Tonight’s about you!” She hushes you, pulling you into something of a bone crushing hug. When she pulls back, you try your very best to ignore the ring on her finger, for her sake. Karkat stares at you for a few seconds before you give in and yank him into a hug too, despite his many protests.
“I just love you guys a lot, okay?!” You shout, Karkat thoroughly flushing and complaining when you pull away. More of your friends have gathered around you to say hello. There are a few people missing, Rose and Kanaya (who are still in Europe. You later find out, though, that they’ve sent you a small mountain of gifts to make up for it), Roxy is gone as well, to your disappointment. Dave said something about her having a huge breakthrough in her career and she would be visiting you next week. The rest of the gang is there to a certain extent. Jake and Dirk are speaking animatedly to one another near the cake your friends got you. They notice that you’ve managed to get out of Jade’s clutches and come over.
“Cousin!” Jake shouts, pulling you into yet another bone-crushing hug (this must run in the family). Dirk is a little less abrasive, giving you a short nod and a tiny smile, which might as well be a hug from him. “Happy Birthday, chap! Dirk and I were just talking about how far you’ve come since they moved to Washington. Now you’re all grown-up, nearly done school. Not to mention your boyfriend.” He laughs, winking at Dave. You flush and yank Dave’s hand into yours just out of habit.
“Oh yeah, Egbert’s grown up all right. I swear, the other day I could have sworn he grew a chest-hair. Life is amazing.” Dave retorts and you nudge him in the shoulder, suggesting that it’s probably best that Jake and Dirk aren’t reminded of how much the both of you are routinely that close to one another.
“It’s good though!” You say happily, clapping Jake on the shoulder. “I mean, look where I live, and all the people that came to see me. I- think I’m really happy.” You end softly. Jake gives you a small smile and quietly agrees. As he should! After Jade left to go take some schooling, it left Jake in the perfect position for a promotion at his job as a ranger, and now he basically runs the whole park. Not to mention, he and Dirk are basically rolling in cash. Then again most of your friends aren’t doing too badly for themselves, even if you don’t hear from some of them anymore.
For example, you haven’t heard from Vriska in years. Last Dave heard from Terezi (who is now in law school, who would have guessed), she was travelling from country to country, basically working as some sort of professional treasure hunter for the government. Though you guys haven’t really talked in a long time, you still hope she’s happy, and at least it sounds like she is and that’s good enough for you.
Other people have flitted in and out of your life like they usually do. Dave keeps in contact with some of his closer friends too, and as you’ve gotten older, you’ve gotten to know some of them better, like Sollux! The first year of school was kind of rough for Dave, he didn’t really hear from him at all, but now Sollux is making apps to help people with mental health issues, and the rumour is he is even dating someone now. You guess from what Dave says he’s still... not over what happened, but if you think of Dave dying on you, you don’t think you would ever get over it.
You squeeze your boyfriends hand a little tighter and make your way to see your sister, who’s been waiting patiently by the presents. Though it’s technically her birthday too, ever since you were kids you’ve just switched on who gets to celebrate their birthday on that day every year, so she’s celebrating hers tomorrow this year instead.
“John!” She shouts, throwing her arms around your neck. You look down at her and smile, deciding that either she’s shorter than you remember or you just haven’t seen her enough. “You’re both getting more grown up every time I see you.” She says a little sadly before turning to Dave, who grins and kisses her on the cheek.
“Jane, you get more beautiful every time I see you. If I didn’t have your brother in my clutches, I would literally snatch you up faster than a kid getting candy at a parade.” Dave says smoothly, laying on his accent thick and everything, causing your sister to laugh.
“Dave, do you literally have to hit on my sister every time you see her? I am RIGHT here. It’s my birthday!” You shout, playfully punching him in the shoulder. He grins and leans in close to you, whispering something filthy in your ear. You blush and let it go-- for now.
“Never stop being a charmer, will you Dave? Oh! John, I know it’s not present time yet, but you have to open mine first when it is, because I swear this might be my best work yet!” Jane smiles and you have a sneaking suspicion that whatever she’s given you is going to blow up in your face, literally. “Shoot! I nearly forgot! John, you have a cake. Come on birthday boy, let’s blow out the candles!”
You turn to Dave who gives you a small smile and grin as Jane shouts for everyone to gather around so you can have happy birthday sang to you in 4 different botched versions, and make a wish.
As you stand in front of your cake, you look up at all your friends smiling at you, singing loudly and looking happy and you can’t help but feel happy too; like a wave heating up your whole body. Once they finish, you shut your eyes tight and make a wish, blowing out the candles. Everyone is cheering and clapping, calling dibs on slices of cake when Dave walks up beside you and kisses you gently for a second. When he pulls back, he smiles.
“So tell me Egbert, what did you wish for this year?” He asks, looking at you over his shades.
“I dunno, dude. It’s pretty cheesy.”
“John, I’ve been dating you for three years. I think I know how cheesy you can be.” He retorts, giving his signature smirk. You give in.
“Yeah, alright. I uh, wished that we could all always be this happy.” You admit, and Dave stares at you for a second before pulling you into another kiss, smiling into your mouth. You pull apart after a few moments and laugh. You’re not really worried.