Chapter Text
It’s 4:02 in the morning and you’re wide awake, staring up at nothing and listening to the steady in and out of Bro’s breathing. There's a foot between you that feels like a mile, and you can’t figure out why his behavior is upsetting you so much. It feels like he's avoiding you, even though you know he's not. In fact, he hasn't done anything remotely out of the ordinary since that weird thing a few nights ago. He's been acting exactly like he always used to, and maybe the fact that he’s acting so ordinary is what's so fucking weird.
You should be glad. Getting Bro back to normal is kind of the idea. All of this snuggly shit was only supposed to be a temporary measure, and it's good that he seems to be getting a better handle on himself and doesn't need you hovering over him in constant fear that he's going to flip his lid at any given moment.
It's good, so why is it making you feel so shitty?
It hadn't escaped your notice that Bro suddenly bounced back to normal after that… thing. Whatever it was. No wonder he'd had such a hard time putting it into words, you're still not quite sure what happened there, and you've primarily dealt with that by trying to ignore it. It was strange and it happened, and it's just another item to add to the steadily growing list of weird troll shit your life has become.
And okay, you're going to be honest and admit that you've been kind of enjoying the closeness, so having it taken away abruptly was a little jarring.
God, you're being such a little bitch about the whole thing. Bro seems calmer and that's good. The end. Except when he's in the same place as John, in which case it's a countdown until another dumbass verbal slapfight. Seriously, you have no idea what the malfunction is with those two, but it's really starting to get on your nerves. Playing referee seems like something you should be doing, because it's your brother and best friend, but at the same time it feels really fucking uncomfortable for reasons you can't place. Like you're edging into territory you don't want to be in, and it doesn't make any sense. Not that it would be a problem in the first place if they would stop pulling each other's pigtails.
Okay, fuck it. You're not getting back to sleep, and the longer you lay here, the more likely you are to cave in to the urge to cuddle or something equally embarrassing. You crawl out of your sleeping bag and the air changes instantly, because Bro has always been a light sleeper. "Dave?" he asks, around a yawn.
"Just restless," you tell him, which is true. "You've still got two hours, go back to sleep."
Bro grunts and you slip out of the tent into the frigid morning air. John seems to think it's somewhere around early spring, and you're all inclined to believe him because magical weatherman seems to be part of his power set, although you don't remember spring ever being this fucking cold. You're a desert creature, you aren't built for this temperate climate nonsense. The camp is dead quiet because you’re the only idiot dumb enough to be up at this hour, and you’re already kind of regretting leaving the warmth of your sleeping bag.
At least you can see. Troll night vision isn’t the puke-green you’ve always associated with the idea. Everything looks a little too oversaturated during the day, but it’s not all that different from what you’re used to, and you’d gotten accustomed pretty quick. At night though, the effect ramps up to eleven and colors become so sharp and vibrant that it feels like you’re seeing things on a scale humans never had access to. Like those little violet wildflowers all over the damn place. At night they almost look like tiny spots of purple light, and it’s actually really pretty in a ‘whoa stars under my feet that’s disorienting’ kinda way.
The sound of footsteps catches your attention, and you see Karkat coming out of the tent-maze. You’re not sure what he’s doing up, but you’re willing to bet it has something to do with sharing a tent with a creepy-fuck murder clown. Frankly, you don’t know how he gets any sleep ever with that dude in strangling distance, but you guess it has something to do with the history they have. You wave him over when he notices you.
"What the fuck are you doing up at this unholy hour?" he grumbles when he’s close enough for you to hear, but he has the presence of mind to keep his voice low.
"Couldn't sleep," you say with a shrug. Bro has you so off-kilter that for a second you’re tempted to ask Karkat about it, but that is just plain crazy. He'd probably try to convince you it's some kind of quadrant thing when it's not, because Karkat is a troll and has always been a troll, and he doesn't understand how familial relationships work. Karkat huffs like he doesn't quite believe you, which you guess is fair because the dude lived with you for three years, and sleeping was never something you had a lot of trouble with. He doesn't argue though, just jerks his head away from camp and says, "Come on then."
You follow him because you have nothing better to do. Karkat leads you to the cliffside over the beach, and for a minute the two of you just stand there, watching the roll of inky black water as it laps against the sand. It’s windier up here than it is back at camp, and you cross your arms to try and stave off some of the biting chill. It’s Karkat that eventually breaks the silence. "Since you're up, make yourself useful and check that cave down there."
You look over the edge, but all you see is the beach, some forty feet below. "What cave?"
Karkat gestures impatiently. "There's something that looks like a cave in the cliffside, and I thought it would be a good idea to check it out." You raise a brow at him, and he stares defiantly back. You're the undisputed master of the staredown however, and after a second he heaves an explosive sigh and adds, "I just need to make sure there aren't any flying, flesh-eating cave beasts living under our feet, okay?"
Considering what you know of his planet, the concern doesn't actually seem all that unreasonable. On the other hand, you haven't seen anything bigger than those wannabe squirrels. You shrug. Might as well do something useful since you’re up. "Sure, man. Wanna come with me? Could be romantic. You, me, a couple of," you lift your shades and give him your best eyebrow waggle, "flesh-eating monsters."
Karkat just rolls his eyes, and you kinda miss the days where he got all explosively embarrassed over your flirting. "I don't need you carrying me around like a sack of human root vegetables, thanks. Just check it out."
"Fine, fine, you’re the boss. But don't blame me when you regret missing out on a good time." You don't bother waiting for his reply, and hop over the edge.
There’s a rush of wind in your ears, and it takes you a split second to realize that you're not flying at all.
You're falling.
There’s a beat of gut-wrench panic, then you bounce off the jagged edge of the cliffside, and you don't think much more than Jesus fuck, I'm going to die before the ground slams into you with enough force that you forget how to breathe.
You lay there for a moment, dazed, and it's Karkat's bellowing that brings you back to your senses, along with the white-hot bloom of pain in your ankle. "—swear to fucking god if this is some kind of joke I will remove your intestines and strangle you with them."
"Love you too, Karkat." Your voice comes out wheezy, and you're not even sure he heard you for a moment.
Then he calls down, "Are you okay?"
You take a minute to catalogue. You're not dead, which is great, but it hurts to breathe, and if the brutal throbbing in your ankle is any indication, it's probably broken. Other than that your mouth is full of grit and you feel like someone ran you through the spin cycle with a truckload of broken glass, but you think you'll live. You manage to call back, a little louder, "I'm okay, but I don't think I can walk." At the moment even sitting upright sounds like a pretty tall order.
You hear a string of curses, and then, "Hold on, I'll get help!" You close your eyes and focus on breathing, but not too deep because that makes your ribs hurt.
You fell. You're not sure how or why, but the instant you'd jumped off the cliffside, you'd discovered that the ability to fly was gone. Like someone had ripped out your wings, but you hadn't noticed until you tried to use them. You wonder what that means for the rest of your abilities. You hadn't actively tried to use your time powers because you had no reason to, but if you can’t fly anymore, maybe that means the rest of it is gone too.
You're not really sure how you feel about it.
Luckily, the sound of approaching footsteps saves you from having to think about it too hard. You can't see them coming from your angle, but you're a little relieved when Bro kneels next to you. You summon a reasonably unpained, "Sup."
His shades are sitting on his head and the look he gives you is a little incredulous, like he has no idea what to do with your feigned nonchalance. Then he snorts and gives you a once over, asking, “You okay, kid?”
He sounds strained, and you realize that Karkat had probably woken him up with some kind of declaration like Dave fell off a cliff. You muster a careless, “Eh, little banged up, no big.” You’re about to say more, but then Bro’s touching your face, wiping away some blood with his thumb, and instead of words all you manage is a soft chirp because it’s the first time he’s really touched you in days.
It probably speaks to how fucked up things are that it makes you glad you fell.
A soft cough reminds you that you aren’t alone, and then Jane shuffles into your line of sight, looking concerned. “I need to make sure everything’s okay.” She says it apologetically, like she’s interrupting something.
You kind of wish she’d go away, but at the same time you guess it would probably be a good idea to know if you’re bleeding from your spleen or something. “Lay it on me, doc,” you say with a lot more enthusiasm than you feel.
Jane crouches beside Bro, but before she can touch you he snatches her wrist away and snarls, tight and warning. It’s knee-jerk protective instinct, you think, and it does something alarmingly squishy to your insides. Or maybe that’s just the hemorrhaging.
Luckily Jane is smart enough to go still, to not provoke him. You lay a hand on Bro’s arm and say, “She’s just trying to help.”
Bro sucks in a breath and releases her with a clipped, “Sorry.”
Jane smiles at him, and you don’t really know her all that well yet, but there’s a kind of understanding in it that makes you a little uncomfortable. She reaches for you again, saying, “I’m going to check for injuries.” It’s not a question, but she still waits for Bro’s small nod before placing her hands on your chest.
Her power is warm, kinda like you downed a cup of hot cocoa and can still feel the heat of it. You focus on the sensation and not on the fact that her powers seem to be working just fine. It’s not long before she sits back on her heels and says, “You have some minor lacerations on your face and hands, but bruised ribs and a sprained ankle seem to be the worst of it. I’ll have you right as rain in a jiffy!” Jane waits for Bro’s permission before she touches you again, but this time there’s no warm sensation. All you feel is the rock jabbing into your back, and after a second she sits back with a baffled frown.
Understanding dawns. “It’s not working, is it?” you ask. You can’t fly and Jane can’t heal, and you’d be willing to bet money at this point that you two aren’t the only ones who are losing your powers.
You can see the moment when she realizes what your fall probably means. Her eyes go a little wide, because yeah, your time travel abilities weren’t really going to be in demand anyway, but losing your healer? That’s a kick in the balls. She takes it like a champ though, shooting you a smile. “Well, it’s lucky none of your injuries are serious then!” Jane gets to her feet, brushing the sand off her knees and says to Bro, “You’ll have to carry him back, in that case.”
Whoa now, there is no way you’re letting anyone cart you around like an invalid. You push yourself upright and wow, sudden movements are not okay, check. “Look,” you manage, when the pain in your ribs subsides, “I can walk fine, it’s just a sprain.”
The look Jane gives you is a little terrifying, and you kind of see the resemblance to Jade suddenly. “You’re not walking on that ankle, mister! Not until we get you a splint, and even then I expect you to take it easy.”
You shoot Bro an appealing look, but you’re not sure why you expected him to be on your side because the asshole doesn’t even let you argue, just hooks an arm under your knees and scoops you up in a princess carry because it’s not like the situation was embarrassing enough, oh no. He couldn’t even give you the dignity of a piggy back ride, the ass. You thump him on the chest on principle, but he just smirks a bit and adjusts his grip. He’s lucky you’re too distracted by the pain to really put up a fight.
Now that you’re not laying on the ground, you can see Karkat hovering nearby, expression cycling through guilt, concern, and fury at a rate that’s almost impressive, and you can’t resist the urge to poke him. “Dude, I can’t believe you made me jump off a cliff.”
Kaboom. “How was I supposed to know that you’d spontaneously lost the ability to fly?” Karkat screeches. “I am not in fact in possession of any psychic and/or precognitive skills, so you can shove it up your wastechute, Strider.” He goes storming off, muttering under his breath, and hey, at least he’s too mad to feel guilty now.
Bro starts after him, and you can’t really ignore the fact that he’s carrying you anymore. You should be irritated, but you can’t really hold onto it. Instead you’re sort of weirdly happy, and after a brief internal battle you give up and rest your head on his shoulder.
You think maybe you dozed off a little, because the next thing you know he’s setting you down at one of the picnic tables, and you can’t help but panic a little because now that he knows you're okay that distance is going to come back and you can't deal with that, you can't. You don't know what the fuck has happened to you but it's not like it's about to unhappen anytime soon, and you guess maybe it's time to deal with the fact that you've turned into a clingy little shit.
Or maybe that's just the concussion speaking.
Bro crouches down in front of you, crossing his arms over his knees, and you bite the inside of your lip and force yourself to ignore any and all Bro-related crises. "You okay?"
He's not asking about your injuries, because Bro's not an idiot. Truth is, you're not really sure if you're okay. It's weird, but the idea of losing your powers hadn't occurred to you, really, although you guess it kind of makes sense. It's not like your powers are something you should really use, even if they are still kicking around. You shrug. "I'll live."
You'll adapt. You've gotten pretty good at that by now.
Bro gives you a look that you can't really read, before dropping his shades back on his nose and you guess that's it. Emergency over, Bro's going to go back to being Bro, and you're not gonna do anything about it because you still can't even figure out why it upsets you.
Jane throws together a makeshift splint from some sticks she found in the trees, and you're kind of impressed. Just because her powers allowed her to heal people didn't necessarily mean she'd know how to do non-magical first aid. It takes a while, and by the time she gets the thing in place around your ankle, the sun is already coming up.
She plops on the bench beside you with a sigh as you examine her handiwork. "Nice. Where'd you learn to do this?"
Jane smiles at you. "Oh, I took some outdoor survival classes before..." she waves a hand vaguely, because it's probably weird to say 'before the world ended'.
"Handy," you say, because you really don't want to think about how much trouble you're going to be in without healing powers or a doctor of some kind.
The two of you lapse into silence for a minute, before Jane says, "You're lucky, you know."
That makes you snort, because you aren't feeling particularly lucky at the moment, but you guess she's not wrong. "Yeah, coulda cracked my head like an overripe melon."
"No— well, yes, but that's not what I meant." She twists in her seat, and you follow her gaze to where Bro has his head stuck in John and Jade's tent. You can't hear what's being said from here, but you'd bet money it's bitchy. "I meant him."
Your stomach does a weird flippy knot thing that you really don't like. You want to deflect but all you can muster is a shrug because you know you're lucky, you just wish it wasn't so complicated. The look she gives you is alarmingly knowing, and you aren't giving her the chance to talk about that, no way, so you blurt, "Losing our powers, huh?"
Smooth, Strider.
Despite your terrible delivery, it seems to have the desired effect of distracting Jane from dangerous topics. She frowns. "It is pretty unsettling."
You shrug. Yeah, unsettling is probably as good a word as any. "We'll be fine. I mean, your ability to zap people back to health would have been nice to have around, but for the most part, I don't think we need them." You kind of surprise yourself by believing it. "We had them so that we could fight a battle that's over now, y'know?"
You can't say you'd miss the dead Daves, although you're pretty sure you're gonna miss the flying. Not as much as John is going to though, and you crane your neck to look over at where he's crawling out of his tent like a mindless sleep-zombie. You wonder if he knows yet. Probably not, and he's taking this whole troll thing so hard you kinda hope the universe or whatever just leaves him alone for a while. He deserves it.
Jane nods a bit. "You might be right." She's quiet for a moment before giving your arm a pat. "I think I'm going to go back to sleep for a bit. Stay off that leg, okay?"
You offer her a lazy salute. "You got it, doc."
As soon as Jane's gone, John deposits himself in the spot she vacated, and you say, "I'm popular today."
John's hair is sticking up at all sorts of weird angles and he shoots you an amused look. "Only today?"
You lean back against the edge of the table. "Well shit, John, of course I'm popular all the time but I was shooting for humility dude."
He rolls his eyes, about to snap back a weak retort you're sure, but then he pauses, giving you a once over with a concerned little wrinkle between his eyes. "You okay?"
"Don't start crying on me man, I'm indestructible." John frowns and you sigh, relenting. "Sprained ankle and some bruises, no big."
"How did you fall off a cliff?" he asks, and yeah, you guess that would be the question, wouldn't it. You almost tell him Karkat pushed you, but since Karkat isn't actually around to rage at you for it, you go with the truth. "Found out I can't fly any more the hard way."
John instantly goes levitating an inch off his seat, and you don't miss the relief on his face. He drops back down with a soft plop. "You can't?"
"Nope." You try to be matter-of-fact about it. Getting all upset over things isn't going to bring your powers back. "Jane can't heal anymore either, which is why I still look like ground beef."
"It's just a few scratches, you don't look like— wait what? She can't?" John worries his lip, concerned. "That's... not good."
You're pretty sure he's thinking of Cronus, because if Jane's powers had died a little sooner, you'd already be one man short. Cronus might be obnoxious, but he didn't exactly deserve a permanent case of dead for it. "We'll make do, man."
Your reassurance doesn't do anything to rid John of the concerned frown. "Yeah, I know. It's just a lot, you know? This doesn't feel like much of a reward, and I'm worried we're gonna screw it up." He doesn't look at you, just stares at his feet. "There's so much to do, and no one knows what they're doing, especially not me. I don't even have any useful skills."
Yeah, that's a concern you understand. You ignore the pain in your ribs and bump shoulders with him. "Neither do I, man. Neither does Karkat, or half of this sorry group, really. We'll learn. I mean, we've already done the impossible, Egbert, what's a little survival compared to that?"
When John looks at you, he's still frowning, but it's thoughtful. "Yeah, when you put it like that, it's kind of hard to argue. I guess it's just weird, all of our problems are so basic now, like what we're going to eat, and where we're going to sleep."
It seems almost trivial, after everything you've been through. "Luckily we've got a hell of a friendleader."
John beams at you. "Co-friendleader! Don't forget about Karkat and Jane! And I guess Kankri, but so far he's been kind of useless." He glances around like he's afraid Kankri is going to appear from thin air just to hassle him. Given what you know about the guy, that's probably a pretty valid concern.
The two of you sit for a minute, shoulder to shoulder, before John sighs heavily. "I should probably go. Unlike some people I didn't throw myself off a cliff to get out of work."
You snort. "You've seen right through my plan, Egbert. While you're off slaving away, I'll be living the good life right here, pampered hand and foot, drinking lemonade and laughing at your misfortune."
"Yeah, I pretty much figure that's how it's going to go." John stands and stretches, then leans down to give your head an awkward hug. "Try not to fall off any more cliffs, okay? I'm not sure how we'd live without you."
You shove him off and resist the urge to smile. "Like I'd do anything that might result in the tragic loss of the only cool thing in your life. Get out of here before Bro comes looking."
When John's gone and you're the only one left, you glance around. There's a bit of movement, mostly Bro and John rousing some of the others, but no one's near enough to be paying any attention to you. Once you’re sure there’s no one to see, you take a deep breath and pull your time tables from your sylladex. They levitate a little drunkenly for one moment, two, before they clatter to the dirt and lie there, like so much inanimate plastic.
You guess that tells you all you need to know.