Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Remus was currently in a bar watching a very pissed Sirius Black lead the entire Hogwarts University Rugby club in a rendition of Beauty School Dropout . Singing was probably too generous of a statement; it was closer to drunken shouting. They didn’t even seem to really know the words, but they were trying their best.

“That one is kind of fit, don’t you think?” Mary asked, referring to a boy with frizzy red hair, with a build that was short and broad. He looked like he would fall over if someone so much as poked him. The only thing that seemed to be keeping him upright was the fact that he had an arm around the shoulder of another boy that looked nearly identical, only a tad taller. 

“You know,” Remus said. “Not really my type.”

Mary pulled out her phone and turned the camera on her face, adjusting her corkscrew curls, and smoothed out the wrinkles of her blouse. “Well, you can at least introduce me. Be my wingman, like in school.”

“First of all, I was never your wingman in high school because I didn’t go out,” Remus said, and Mary rolled her eyes. “Also, I have no idea who that is. The rugby guys are James’ friends.” 

She sighed, throwing her head back. “Remus Lupin, you are the worst host.”

Mary had come to visit him for a week. It was her last night  in London before she had to go back to Cardiff. They had spent the week doing what they usually did when she was in town; scouring antique stores and record shops, lazing about watching films. Mary was the only person he knew who liked watching horror movies as much as he did. There was never any pressure to do anything or to really plan anything overly extravagant, because the point of Mary coming to see him was just so that they could be together . It didn’t matter what they were doing. 

Going to the bar was definitely a deviation from their usual schedule, but Mary’s visit happened only two days after the Europeans. It’d been James and Alice’s idea to go out to celebrate their performance, even if it was a bit late. Normally, Remus wasn’t one for bars and, but he really enjoyed seeing his friends this happy. Plus, Mary had wanted to go, because she adored Lily. 

“I was going to offer to ask James to introduce you, but if you’re going to be nasty…” Remus trailed off. 

“Oh please, I want to meet James too,” Mary said, suddenly very excited, and she scooted closer to Remus in the booth. “He must be an impressive guy if Lily likes him.” 

Remus glanced over at where James was holding one of the microphones as he belted the last chorus of the song, with Lily looking at him with head in her hands looking rather embarrassed, but also amused. 

“He’s definitely something,” Remus conceded. James was one of the more sober people there,which wasn’t really saying a lot. Marlene was in Dorcas’ lap, the two of them had been snogging for the past twenty minutes. Peter was so gone that Remus was worried that he might pass out. And Alice was happily making her rounds to all of the people that’d been invited. It was a mix of people that Remus knew, friends of friends, and then people that were James’ mates. Mary was teetering between tipsy and drunk, and she had been trying to get Remus to do karaoke with her for the past hour, but he had continuously refused. 

The song finished and the rugby club and Sirius headed back to the bar to get more to drink, which they, of course, really didn’t need to be doing, but Remus was not their mother; even if he was the only sober one in the place. Frank and Peter stumbled up next, and the opening notes of Dream On rang out. A guy walked by, holding a cigarette centimeters from his lip as he exhaled smoke. Remus held his breath, doing his best not to cough. Mary scrunched up her nose and turned to him. 

“Why don’t you take that outside,” She shot at him. He grunted and took another long dramatic drag, and for a moment Remus was worried that he was going to have to physically hold her back. 

“Don’t make me ask again, twat,” She warned, and the man looked her up and down, before deciding it wasn’t worth it and walking away. 

“Jesus, Mary,” Remus muttered. If Remus was protective of Lily, then Mary was overprotective of Remus in comparison, especially when it came to his health. Secondhand smoke was a nuisance for everyone, but it was especially dangerous for Remus.

“What?” She asked innocently, crossing her arms and sitting back. “You aren’t even allowed to smoke in bars.”

“For someone so small, you really hold a lot of rage,” Remus laughed, and Mary poked her tongue out at him. 

“That guy bothering you two?” James asked, suddenly appearing behind them with Sirius at his side. “He’s friends with one of the guys, but he’s a right arsehole.”

“He’d have to matter for him to bother me,” Mary tutted, and Sirius laughed. 

“Oh, I like you already,” James said happily, sliding into the booth across from them, and Sirius did as well. “I’m James, and this is Sirius. We forced Moony here to be our friend, and I think we are single handedly the best thing that ever happened to him.”

“You call him Moony?” Mary said, and there was an edge to her voice that Remus recognized almost immediately, she was ready to pounce. Since Mary had gone to school with him, she knew about the nicknames and how they bothered him. Remus reached for her hand under the table and gave it a squeeze to assure her that it was alright, and Mary seemed to relax a bit at this. “Doesn’t matter, I guess. I’m Mary. The actual best thing to happen to Remus. Except for Evans, maybe.” 

“I think you could say the last bit for James, too,” Sirius joked. James shoved him, and Sirius shoved him back. “Please, you know I’m right. Everyday it's ‘Oh Sirius, Lily is so smart. Sirius, Lily is so pretty. Padfoot, Lily is so talented.’”

“It’s not like you are any better,” James huffed, and Sirius’ face reddened and he glared at James

“You’re talking about how pretty you think Lily is?” Mary asked Sirius, clearly confused, and Remus was as well. 

“Sorry, super drunk. Don’t know why I said that,” James apologized. 

This was the first time that Remus had seen either of them in person since his “maybe almost kiss” with Sirius. Sirius had been busy practicing, and James had been busy with Sirius and Lily. But part of Remus also wondered if Sirius had been ignoring him. He could have totally misread the situation while they were looking for Artemis, and he really hoped that he hadn’t made Sirius uncomfortable in any kind of way. But at the moment he had been really really sure he was going to try and kiss him, but they hadn’t talked about it since then. 

It was probably best that they hadn’t kissed anyways. Remus’ opinions on dating right now hadn’t changed. And Sirius wasn’t someone he could have something casual with, because that could potentially make things complicated for Lily. Besides, they barely knew each other. 

“James, Mary fancies one of your mates,” Remus said, changing the topic. 

“Oh,” James said, raising an eyebrow. “Which one?”

Mary nodded her head to the guy who was now playing a game of darts with his brother. 

“Gideon?” James grinned. “Well, let me tell you, Mary, you have great taste. I’m a bit partial to redheads myself. C’mon then I’ll introduce you.”

Mary looked at Remus, “Alright if I go?”

“Of course,” Remus said, and he watched James lead Mary away, leaving Sirius and Remus alone. He could practically feel Sirius overthinking, or maybe plotting an escape. Remus considered making it easier for him by leaving, but Sirius ended up speaking. 

“You don’t drink,” Sirius said. 

“Okay?” Remus replied. They hadn’t spoken in a week and that was the first real thing he had said to him. He always seemed to just say the first thing that popped into his head, and he felt a stab of irritation for his clear lack of impulse control. “What about it?”

Sirius’ eyes widened, like he was just realizing the offensive implications of what he said. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just something I noticed. I wasn’t sure...maybe you aren’t comfortable coming to bars if you, you know have a problem…”

“Sirius, stop talking,” Remus said. 

“No, Moony, Jesus christ,” Sirius stuttered, and reached up to run his hands through his hair. “I just mean in the future, if you would feel better, we could always not go to pubs or bars…”

Remus took a deep breath, really not wanting to come off as rude, but Sirius was being pretty fucking rude himself. “I’m not an alcoholic, if that’s what you’re implying. I just don’t need to screw up my organs when my immune system will probably do the job for me.”

Sirius had the nerve to look upset at his outburst. But Remus had told him about his lupus, because he had hoped it would make Sirius a bit more understanding. Even if he didn’t know something, he thought that he would have a little more sense to not point out stuff like that. 

“Sorry,” Sirius muttered, and started to look around the bar. Peter and Frank had stopped singing, and were walking off the makeshift stage. “I’m going to go talk to Wormtail.” That’s how Remus knew he was really desperate to leave, seeing as Sirius had never gone out of his way to spend time with Peter. Another reason that Sirius was an arse;thought he was above everyone else. Probably thought that he was above Remus. Just some guy that he could “maybe almost kiss” and then completely avoid. He got up before Remus could stop him, not that he really wanted to, and Remus was alone. 

He was used to feeling alone, even when in the company of other people. It made his brain feel like it was rotting, and sometimes he thought that it was worse than the physical ache in his bones. That , he always expected. This feeling crept up on him and left him completely vulnerable. But just like lupus, it was something that nobody would ever see, and even if they could, would that even be better? At least this way people weren’t scared away immediately 

As if to cement the fucking thought, Remus felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, and Remus immediately recoiled at the touch. The person laughed, unbothered by his reaction, because it was impossible for anyone to damage his ego. 

“Still jumpy, are we, love?” Gil said, not waiting for an invitation to slide into the booth across from him that James and Sirius had previously occupied. Remus’ eyes darted around the bar, looking for a reason to abandon the table, or at least for one of his friends to notice and come rescue him for the conversation. The only person who seemed to see the exchange was Sirius. Sirius, who didn’t know who Gilderoy Lockhart was, and Sirius, who was probably still angry at him. 

“What are you doing here?” Remus asked, and Gil flashed him a white toothy smile. “Actually, who fucking invited you?”

“You and your friends don’t own the place,” Gil pointed out. “Maybe I just came for a drink.”

Remus stared at him blankly, trying to mask the fact that seeing him was actually bringing up a lot of emotions that he’d rather not deal with right now. Times like this he wondered what it would be like to drink or smoke your problems away.

“Look, I heard that your friends were here,” He said the last part with an aura of distaste. Gil had always made it clear that he didn’t approve of Remus’ circle. That should have been his first red flag. “So I assumed you would, too. I wanted us to talk. You haven’t been answering my texts or calls.”

“That is the point of blocking someone,” Remus deadpanned. Of course Lockheart couldn’t take a hint and kept talking. 

“Remy…” Gil said, and Remus cringed at the nickname. “I miss you, and I think we gave up too fast. We were good together up until the end. We both made mistakes.”

“Pardon me? Both of us?” Remus asked in disbelief. 

“I mean look, maybe I was a bit short with you sometimes,” Gil aquesed. “But you could have tried harder.”

“Tried harder?” Remus laughed. God, he was unbelievable. “You cheated on me. Multiple times.”

Gil waved his hand dismissively, “Yes, I know that was wrong of me, and believe me when I tell you, I really regret it. But it’s not like you were the most attentive boyfriend.”

Remus let his mouth hang open for a bit longer than he should have just to drive home how ridiculous what he was saying was. “ You went into the relationship saying it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s not my fault you didn’t take the time to understand what lupus was. I told you it was bad. God forbid I actually show symptoms of the illness I have.”

“How was I supposed to know what bad meant,” Gil argued. 

“Jesus fucking christ, you could have looked into it. Did you want a bloody powerpoint where I tell you my life story and every symptom I’ve ever had? Every hospital visit?” Remus was raising his voice at this point, but nobody seemed to be paying them any notice. Something had caused a lot of commotion at the bar, so everyone had been drawn there. “You didn’t even want to know more about it in the first place.”

“Half the time you just used it as an excuse to not do stuff with me,” Gil said. “You were a drama queen. Honestly, sometimes I think you just did it for attention.”

“Are you joking? There were days that I could not get out of bed. Nobody said you couldn’t come see me and make sure I was okay. That was your choice. And yeah, sometimes I was too tired to go on dates,” Remus said. “And honestly, towards the end, I really did not want to spend time with you at all. Because you’re a self centered prat. After we broke up I realized I didn’t really like you in the first place.”

That was the truth. Putting distance between him and Lockhart had made him realize that he had never fancied him. Gil had just taken interest in him, and so he took what he could get. Gil pretended to be okay with the fact that he had lupus until he found out it was something that affected him and wasn’t something he could ignore. Remus was now well aware that he deserved better. 

“You can’t deny that it was a lot to put up with,” Gil said. 

“I put up with you being a pompous prick just fine,” Remus shrugged. “This really is the worst, please take me back speech ever. You should work on it for next time. Maybe bring notecards.”

“You know what, fine,” Gil threw his hands up. “But just know that you won’t be able to do better than me. This would be too much for anyone, no matter how much of an arsehole you try to make me out to be.”

Remus was about to say something else, but the noise by the bar had grown louder. People had started shouting, and then a scream cut through, and Remus was on his feet instantly when he recognized it as Lily’s voice.

He shoved his way through the group that seemed to be huddled around something. Through a small gap, he could see that Marlene was kneeling on the ground next to someone, but he could not see who it was because there were still people blocking him, and Remus was worried that it was Lily. He could barely make out another group that seemed to be yelling and pushing each other. Then he heard another voice that he recognized. 

“If you don’t get the hell out of here, I swear to God I will kill the lot of you,” James threatened. Remus had never heard James angry in the time that they had known each other. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought that it was an entirely different person. 

“James! Stop!” That was Dorcas now. Even more spurred to action now that he knew his friends were in the middle of whatever was happening, he forcibly moved the last of the people out of his way; which was a feat in itself considering Remus was fairly certain the remaining people in front of him were James’ rugby friends. 

The first thing he noticed was James’ broken glasses on the ground. They looked like they had been stepped on. Half a meter away was James, who was flanked by Peter and Frank who were all trying to get to three other people, and the only reason they hadn’t been able to was because Dorcas and Lily were standing between them. The rugby guys also looked like they wanted to get in on the action, but Alice and Mary seemed to be keeping them under control. Remus was ready to ream his friends out for being so childish that they’d get into a bar fight. Then, he realized that one of the people on the other side of the skirmish was Severus Snape. 

Remus surged forward and grabbed James’ shoulder to yank him back. In any other situation, James would have been able to resist him easily, but Remus had caught him off guard. He spun on Remus, and for a second he was worried that James would try to take a swing at him, but he realized that it was Remus last minute.

“What the fuck is going on!” Remus yelled, and everyone turned to look at him. The two groups separated a bit, and it got quiet. Severus, Remus realized, had blood trickling from his mouth and a busted lip. With the fighting ceased, at least for a moment, he had taken the opportunity to wipe blood off his chin. 

“Of course you’d be here, Lupin,” Severus spat, before addressing everyone else. “Mummy come to save you all, then?”

“Severus, leave,” Lily demanded. 

“I just came to talk with you,” Severus insisted. “It was your guard dog that fucking attacked me.” Remus assumed it was James he was talking about, by the way he tried to lunge towards Severus when he mentioned it, but Remus was able to hold him back. 

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Snivellous,” Peter said, breathing heavily. 

“Stay out of this,” One of Severus’ friends said. If Remus recalled correctly, his name was Antonin Dolohov. 

“You fucking grabbed her!” James said. “I swear to god I’m going to-”

“James!” Lily screamed. “Please, just stop. Severus, you need to go right now.”

“Oh, I see,” Severus said, his voice lowering and he motioned between James and Lily. “The two of you are shagging, aren’t you?”

“That’s none of your business,” Lily snarled. 

Severus’ eyes raked across all of them, sizing each of them up, before making a noise of disapproval deep in his throat. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You always did prefer the company of queers, invalids, and idiots.”

“I’m going to beat the shit out of you, you slimy bastard,” James took a step forward, but all it took was a pleading look from Lily to stop him in his tracks. Peter had seemed to have resigned himself to holding back as long as James was. Frank did not look as appeased until Alice finally made her way over and tugged on his sleeve, which seemed to calm him down. 

“Okay, that’s enough!” The bartender, Rosmerta, announced from where she was now standing atop of the bar. Remus didn’t know how long she had been trying to get everyone’s attention but she looked pissed. “You three intolerant fucks need to get out,” She pointed at Severus and his friends. 

“We didn’t even start it!” Severus’ other friend Corban Yaxley complained. 

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Rosmerta asked. “Out. Now.”

Dolohov and Yaxley were quick to turn to leave, but Severus held his ground, turning to Lily one last time. He leaned in closer and whispered something in her ear. As soon as he had said it, Lily slapped him hard across the face. 

“What the fuck did you say to her?” James shouted, he was moving forward now, and Remus didn’t even try to stop him this time. 

“James, cut it out. You’re making it worse,” Lily said, putting a hand on James’ chest, but her voice was softer than it had been with Severus. 

“I’m going. Call me when you’ve come to your senses, Lily,” Severus turned on his heels, stomping out of the bar. 

Once he was gone, Remus turned to James and Lily for an explanation about what the hell had just happened, but they were already walking past him. Remus looked to see where they were going, and that’s when Remus remembered that Marlene had been kneeling on the ground with somebody. She was in the same spot she had been, rubbing Sirius’ back as he clutched his nose. 

When Remus got closer, he could see that Sirius’ nose was bleeding, and the area between it’s bridge and his eye was starting to swell. Soon, Lily was sitting across from him on the floor. 

“Dumbarse,” Lily muttered, bringing her hand up to cup the side of Sirius’ face that wasn’t  injured, rubbing her thumb against his cheekbone. 

“He deserved it,” Sirius said. “Just showing up here, and trying to intimidate you like that. The balls on that guy.”

Lily shook her head. “I appreciate the two of you trying to help,” She looked at James before turning back to Sirius, “But that was not the way to handle that situation.”

“He was trying to pull you outside,” Sirius reminded her.

“Yeah, and next time, let me be the one to punch him,” Lily quipped, smiling a bit. 

James got on the floor too, and Lily leaned against him. She looked exhausted. While Remus was concerned for Sirius, Lily was his priority. So he joined the rest of them on the ground. 

“Are you okay, Lily?”  Remus asked. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Lily sat up straighter, “I’m fine. He wanted to talk to me outside and I said no. Then like Sirius said, he took my arm and tried to lead me out. Sirius saw and punched him. Then Antonin punched Sirius. Then James, Frank, and Peter saw...and well, you know what else happened.”

“Lily, I’m really sorry-” James started to say but Lily shushed him. 

“We’ll talk about it later,” She said in a “ I’m not angry I’m just disappointed” tone. 

“In my expert opinion as a management and accounting student,” Marlene interrupted. “I don’t think his nose is broken. Definitely going to be swollen for a while, and I think he’s going to have a black eye.”

“A black eye you say,” Sirius chuckled. 

“Shut it,” Remus mumbled, upset that he wasn’t taking this more seriously. He could have seriously hurt himself. “I’ll go get some ice.” Remus got up and walked back to the bar where Rosmerta was already filling a bag with ice. 

“Your mates alright, love?” She asked, handing him the bag. 

“They’re fine. Just bloody stupid,” Remus told her. 

“Eh, I don’t know. Sounded like those other guys were the ones causing the problems,” Rosmerta shrugged. “Besides, you lot have been coming here for a long time. Never had any problems with you before.”

“Thanks, Rosie,” Remus said. “Also, thanks for not calling the police.”

Rosmerta put her hands on her hips, “I can take care of my own bar. Besides, I wouldn’t want to call them just for them to arrest the wrong people. Incompetent, all of ‘em.”

Remus thanked her one last time before going back to his friends, who were helping Sirius to his feet. 

“Remus, do you mind taking Sirius outside,” James requested. “Lily and I need to talk to everyone else to make sure they are clear on what happened. In case Snivellous and his cronies try to press charges.”

“Uh, yeah, okay I guess,” Remus said, even though he wasn’t too keen on being alone with Sirius because of their conversation not even twenty minutes ago. But it wasn’t like he could say no given the circumstances. 

Remus led Sirius outside, and the two of them walked to the stoop of a business that was closed for the night. He was glad that there weren’t a lot of people walking around at this time of the night, or a man with blood on his shirt would have attracted a lot of unwanted attention. He motioned for Sirius to sit down on the step, and Remus handed him the ice before going to stand next to him. 

“You reckon this will make me look punk?” Sirius joked, looking up at him, the bag of ice pressed against his face. 

“I think it’ll make you look like a dolt,” Remus countered. “You better hope it heals before your next competition or Mcgonagall will have your neck.” 

“It’ll heal,” Sirius said confidently. “Besides, Minnie could never. She loves me.” 

The two of them sat there in silence for a long stretch of time. It was freezing outside, and Remus had left his coat inside, but he didn’t want to go back in and risk seeing Gil. He pulled down the sleeves of his jumper so that they were covering his hands and then wrapped his arms around himself in a vain attempt to shield his body from the wind. 

“Are you cold?” Sirius asked him, but didn’t wait for Remus to even give him a response. He put down the bag of ice and shrugged off his leather jacket, and offered it to Remus.

“Don’t you need it?” Remus questioned. 

“Spending most of my life figure skating has made my tolerance for the cold pretty high,” Sirius explained. “Besides, consider it an apology for earlier.”

Remus took the jacket, knowing full well that it was too small, and wouldn’t fit him in the slightest. But he did not want to be rude and reject the olive branch that Sirius was clearly extending, so he just draped it across his shoulders and pulled it tight against him. It smelled like him, and Remus wondered when his brain had connected a certain smell with Sirius.

“You apologize a lot,” Remus pointed out. 

“Yeah, well. I fuck things up a lot,” Sirius explained, gesturing to his face before reapplying the ice pack. “Case and point.”

“I don’t know, if I’d seen what was happening I probably would have punched him too,” Remus said. “Was a little bit occupied though.”

“Yeah, talking to the blonde bloke, right?” Sirius asked, and then added timidly,  “It seemed like a very passionate conversation.”

“That was Gil, he’s my ex boyfriend,” Remus said. “He wanted to get back together.”

“Oh,” Sirius said softly. 

“He’s a git, so I said no, of course,” Remus continued, and he didn’t miss the way the corners of Sirius’ mouth perked up when he said it. “Honestly, you punching Severus got me out of that extremely uncomfortable conversation, so I suppose I should be thanking you.”

“Always glad to be of service,” Sirius said, starting to grin widely, but that quickly shifted to a wince, and Sirius clutched the ice tighter to his face. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” Remus asked. He let go of the jacket, and reached down to grab Sirius’ wrist to guide his hand away from his face. The area that had been red was slowly starting to turn very visibly blue and purple. 

“Next competition isn’t for a couple weeks, it will be fine,” Sirius assured him. “Even if it wasn’t, that’s why make up exists, right?” 

“Would it affect your score?” Remus asked, “If you showed up looking like that.”

“Technically no. But those judges always have had sticks up their arses so who knows,” Sirius said. 

“I don’t know a lot about how all of it works,” Remus said. “What you’re scored on, how you come up with your routines.” He had been thinking about that a lot lately, especially after seeing how involved James was with Sirius’ ice dancing. He wanted Lily to feel like she could talk to him about it, and he wanted to be able to carry a conversation with her that went beyond “yeah that looked really cool”. 

“The whole thing is rather complicated,” Sirius said. 

“Sometimes I wish I understood it better,” Remus admitted. “Lily loves it so much, but I really couldn’t tell you a single thing about ice dancing.”

“Well, if you want, I can teach you some stuff some time,” Sirius offered. “It took James a bit to get it, but now sometimes I think he cares about it more than I do.”

“I don’t want to bother you. You’re busy enough as it is,” Remus shook his head.

“Moony, it wouldn’t be a problem,” Sirius said, gently placing his hand on top of Remus', which was still wrapped around Sirius' wrist.

Remus searched Sirius’ eyes for any sign of hesitance, and instead found that he actually looked excited by the idea. 

“Okay, but you pick the time,” Remus said. “Like I said, I don’t want to distract you.”

“Trust me, Moony, you already-” Sirius started to say but was cut off by Mary coming outside. 

“Remus!” She exclaimed. Remus practically jumped away from Sirius as she approached them, hoping that the dark had prevented her from seeing them. “Everyone is leaving. Did you want to head out or…”

“Yeah, no, let’s call it a night,” Remus said, walking over to Mary’s side, linking their arms together, which was mainly a way to keep Mary from taking a drunken tumble. “Are you going to be alright, Sirius?”

“Yeah,” Sirius waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll probably go find James. Make sure he hasn’t blown it with Lily.”

“They seemed fine to me when I left...if you know what I mean,” Mary giggled, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Okay Macdonald, I think you’re right, let’s get going,” Remus said hastily. He waved goodbye to Sirius before leading her away. 

When they were far enough away from the bar, Mary burst into another fit of laughter.

“You really are drunk aren’t you?” Remus teased. 

“So, Sirius. Huh?” She asked with a smirk.

Remus reddened, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mmmm okay,” Mary said. “You and sober Mary are going to have a conversation tomorrow though.”

“Great,” Remus groaned. He silently prayed that sober Mary would be feeling a little forgetful in the morning. 

***

“Do you think I’m dumb, Remus?” Mary asked, taking a large bite out of her breakfast sandwich.

“Mary, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Remus scolded, as he pulled into the queue outside King’s Cross to drop her off. “And of course I don’t think you’re dumb, why are you even asking me that?” 

“That’s interesting, because I can’t think of any other reason why you would think I wouldn’t find out about your crush on Sirius,” Mary said casually, but she was glaring at him.

“I don’t have a crush on Sirius,” Remus insisted. 

“Liar!” Mary said, waving her sandwich around and getting crumbs on her seat that she wiped onto the floor.

“Mary-” Remus started but she shushed him.

“Don’t you ‘Mary’ me, Remus Lupin,” She said. “You like him.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Don’t you have a train to catch?” Remus reminded her. 

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to tell me,” Mary huffed. “I didn’t judge you when you dated Gilderoy.”

Remus made a gagging noise, “Suddenly I don’t think I’m going to miss you anymore. Also, you absolutely did. The first time you talked to him you told me to break up with him because he had a suspicious face.”

“And I was right,” Mary reminded him. “I’m always right, just like right now. And you want to know what else I’m right about?”

“What?” Remus groaned.

“He likes you too,” Mary said, and Remus snorted. “He does! He was looking at you all night! Honestly, I would have told him to stop being creepy if I didn’t realize you liked him too.”

“Sirius doesn’t like me,” Remus told her. Mary groaned and started to lightly hit her head against the window repeatedly. “Mary, come on. We’re too old to be talking about who likes who.”

“Maybe you’re too old, but I have been blessed with eternal youth,” Mary said. “Look, I don’t know if you’re trying to hide it from me, or if you’re just too dense to realize you have feelings for him. But either way, I hope you get your head out of your arse and let yourself be happy.”

“I am happy,” Remus assured her. “I have you, and Lily, and everyone else. I don’t need to be dating someone to be happy.” 

“Why are you being so stubborn about this?” Mary asked. 

“You don’t control my life, Mary,” Remus complained. “You did this with uni too. I am capable of making my own bloody choices.”

“Fine, if this is how you’re going to be. I’m sorry for making your life so miserable by making you move to London where you made all these new friends and are just so so happy ,” Mary snapped, wrapping her sandwich and grabbing her purse before getting out of the car, slamming the door. Remus followed her out, walking over to the other side of the car where she had already opened the door to the backseat to pull out her duffel bag, slinging it across her shoulder.

“Mary, it’s not that big of a deal,” Remus said, confused as to why this was bothering her so much. 

“But it is to me. I’m sorry, I know your business is your business and I don’t want to pressure you into admitting anything to me,” Mary sighed. “But you used to tell me everything. And I dunno, lately I just feel like something has been off with you, or with us…”

“Mary, come here,” Remus said, opening his arms, and Mary melted against him, not bothering to wrap her arms around him, just leaning into him with her entire weight “I adore you. You know me, I’m just an angsty son of a bitch.”

“I know,” She said, her voice muffled by his chest.

“And about Sirius… even if there was anything, I just can’t right now. It’s not a good time,” He explained. 

Mary pulled away to look at him, “You don’t get to decide when good things happen to you.”

“I’m just not ready,” Remus said, trying to make her drop the subject.

Mary sighed, “Fine. Just don’t be a sulky git. And tell James to make sure Gideon stays single until my next visit, yeah?”

“I’ll try my best,” Remus laughed. 

Mary stood on the tip of her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “You come to Wales next, yeah?”

“Of course. I’ll text you tonight and we can decide when,” Remus promised. Mary beamed at him before walking away, looking over her shoulder once to blow him a kiss. Remus watched her walk into the station, and once she had disappeared he got back into his car, letting himself sit back for a moment. 

Mary really was always right, wasn’t she?

***

Remus was in the middle of studying in his bed the next night when he got a text from Sirius. 

Minnie had to leave early to take care of something. Lily went to see James.

If you still want to learn about ice dancing. Rink is empty. 

Remus ignored the text for about an hour. Not out of spite, but because he hated doing things last minute; and after the conversation he’d had with Mary, he figured putting some space between him and Sirius would be a smart move. He didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea, and at this point, he suspected that his other friends were thinking the same thing as her; if the looks that Lily and Alice had been exchanging were anything to go by.

A person could only spend so much time studying literature theory though. Pete and Marlene had gone out to the pubs for the night, which meant Dorcas would also most likely be there; which also guaranteed Alice would be in attendance. His only other option was working on his essay for his linguistics class, but that also did not seem too enticing. He searched for his phone where it had gotten lost in his covers. Nobody had to know that he had spent the night with Sirius, he supposed. 

Sorry, just seeing this now. Offer still good?

Remus didn’t even have the chance to put his phone down before Sirius replied:

of course. when can you get here?

20 minutes?

sounds good 

lemme know when you get here and i’ll let you in

Remus got out of bed, trying to ignore the aching in his shoulders in favor of digging through his closet for his thickest jumper to throw over his t-shirt. He grabbed his wool socks and docs. He was not trying to freeze his arse off in that rink.

The parking lot was empty, save for Sirius’ car. It dawned on him that he had never actually seen it full. The only time he ever came was during the time that was blocked off for the competitive or professional skaters to practice; not when it was open for the public to skate. 

He fired off a quick text to Sirius to let him know that he was there and went to go wait by the front door. Sirius got there quickly, and when he opened the door there was a gust of air that was only slightly warmer than what was outside, but it was still a welcome relief, and he couldn’t get inside fast enough. 

“Hey,” Sirius greeted him, locking the door behind them. “Are you just permanently cold or-”

“Are you just going to make fun of me the entire time I’m here? Because I will leave,” Remus teased. 

“Oh Moony, there’s no reason to be so moody,” Sirius said jabbing lightly with his elbow. “Don’t leave. Kind of spooky here after everyone goes home.”

He wasn’t wrong. All but one rink had been locked for the night. Most of the lights were off and the floor looked freshly mopped.

“You sure it's okay to be here?” Remus asked, slightly anxious at the idea of being somewhere he wasn’t supposed to.

“I mean, yeah,” Sirius said. “I paid for the time. Might as well use it.”

“You pay for it?”

“Well, yeah,” Sirius said. “They aren’t just going to let us use a whole rink for hours for free.”

“Oh… is that not really expensive? You’re here like everyday?” Remus wondered. He always just assumed that the owners let them practice whenever they wanted. That it was good for business to have the country’s best ice dancers skate there, but in hindsight that was rather stupid.

Sirius stared at him blankly for a moment. “Remus, you’re joking right?” 

“Why?” Remus asked. 

“Just…” Sirius trailed off, and fidgeted a bit with his fingers. “Remus, at risk of sounding like a prick- you know I’m bloody loaded, right?”

“What?!” Remus exclaimed. “From figure skating?”

“No. I mean, that helps I suppose. Most of what we have is generational money. The Black family were nobles back in the day. The whole figure skating thing was a way to kind of distract from that, because, well, the French still aren’t a huge fan of nobility. So they don’t talk about it publicly, but in private they take that shit very seriously,” Sirius explained. 

“But weren’t you, like, disowned?” Remus asked, still very shocked and confused. 

This seemed to visibly upset Sirius, but it was too late to take back what he had said. Sirius started to fiddle with his hands uncomfortably, and seemed to realize that he was doing it, so he took a hair tie from his wrist and went to tie his hair up. 

“The money I have was my Uncle Alphard’s. He died a few years ago. Left me everything,” Sirius told him. “One of two people in my family that I can actually stand.”

“Who is the other?” Remus asked, hoping he was not overstepping again. 

Luckily, Sirius smiled at this. “My cousin Andy. She’s amazing. One of the few good things to ever come out of my shit family. Has a kid, too. Call her Tonks, her dad’s last name. Per her request mind you, eight years old and already a stubborn little lady.”

“Does she skate as well?”

Sirius shook his head, “Wasn’t ever really her thing. Drove my aunt and uncle crazy but they had Bella and my other cousin Cissy at least; she already retired, if you didn’t know. Husband does singles though. Then they found out that she was, quote ‘marrying a random man off the street’ and disowned her.”

“Hm. I’m sensing a pattern here,” Remus observed.

“Right you are, Moony,” Sirius said, and then clapped his hands together. “Anyways, enough of that rubbish. Let's get started, yeah?” 

They walked from the lobby into the rink together. Remus sat in one of the chairs that was closest to the wall that separated the ice and the floor. He watched Sirius start to lace up his skates before heading onto the ice. He made the transition look so effortless; he didn’t even need to take a second to adjust. One second he was walking, and the next he was doing laps around the ice, the same way he had been doing when Remus first saw him skate. 

He came to a halt in front of Remus, resting his elbows on the top of the half wall. “So, what do you want to learn about first?”

“I don’t know. You’re the expert here,” Remus said.

“Okay,” Sirius said “Well let’s start with the boring shit, yeah?”

Sirius started by explaining a lot of the fundamentals of competing, some of which Remus had a vague understanding on, but what Sirius had to say really put it in perspective. He told him how the point system worked. What a pattern dance was. What a step sequence was. In between the explanations he would tell snippets of stories that he’d never heard before about his life. Like the time he had skipped practice to take his brother to a playground.

“Mother was furious,” Sirius recalled. “Never heard so many curse words in my life. She made me skate eight hours a day for two weeks. Don’t think I’ve never been that exhausted and had that many blisters in my life.” He said it so casually, like it was normal. 

“That’s awful,” Remus said, sympathetically. 

Sirius shrugged, “Was only that bad because I always took the blame. Had to protect Reg. He was only seven.” Remus didn’t point out that this meant that Sirius had only been ten. 

“Still, that shouldn’t have happened,” Remus said. 

“I mean in a way, it all worked out. After that my parents got scared that I’d be a bad influence on Regulus, so they sent me to school in an entirely different country. I might have had to put up with Bellatrix and Riddle more than I was ever actually in school; but I got to meet James and his parents.”

“I’m glad you had them,” Remus said, meaning every word.

This made Sirius smile, and Remus felt lighter, like he’d been feeling Sirius’ pain and seeing him happy again lifted the burden off him as well. 

“Anyways. Let me show you what some of the moves look like,” Sirius offered.

That was Remus’ favorite part of the night. Getting to openly stare at Sirius without anyone else there trying to judge his intentions. Any possible romantic attraction aside, Sirius was stunning. He was all confidence and bold maneuvers. At the same time, there was something different about how he skated now than when he skated with Lily. Every so often, he would look over his shoulder like he wanted to make sure that Remus was still watching. Remus had always thought of Sirius who preferred to be left alone. But he remembered the observation he made a while ago, about Sirius always being better with a partner. On some level he was wrong; Sirius wasn’t better with a partner, he was just more comfortable. He felt more at ease knowing that someone was supporting him, that they were watching his back.

The names of figure skating moves, Remus learned, were absolutely ridiculous. Death spiral, camel spin, pancake spin. And of course, his favorite. 

“ You’re pulling my leg,” Remus laughed, he had moved to stand by the wall about an hour ago, and Sirius skated up to him.

“I am not!” Sirius laughed. “They are called twizzles and they are a very important part of ice dancing.”

“Oh god, that’s terrible,” Remus hid his face in his hands to try and stop himself from laughing. 

“I can’t believe this. The disrespect,” Sirius said sarcastically.

“No, no. Just observing,” Remus explained, and then remembered something he had been wondering about since he had met Sirius. “That day I walked in on you practicing, what were you doing?”

Sirius cocked his head and his eyebrows scrunched up like he didn’t know what Remus was talking about, but then he seemed to remember.

“That was probably just an axel of some kind, don’t remember exactly what,” Sirius said. 

“I’ve never seen Lily do one before,” Remus mentioned. “Or Severus, for that matter.”

“Probably because you’ve only known them as ice dancers. Jumps aren’t allowed in ice dancing, so there’s no reason for either of them to practice them,” Sirius explained. 

“So why do you do them?”

“For fun, I guess,” Sirius said, and Remus must have been looking at him strangely because he added, “What? I do enjoy skating, you know. I don’t just do it because my parents made me as a kid. It’s quite enjoyable.”

Remus chuckled, “I wouldn’t know.”

“Moony!” Sirius exclaimed, and reached out to put both of his hands into Remus' arms. “Please tell me you aren’t best friends with the best female ice dancer in the country, but have never ice skated before.”

“I don’t think I’d be any good at it,” Remus said. 

“That’s it, I’m going to get you some skates,” Sirius declared. Before Remus could protest, Sirius was off the ice and taking off his skates. “What size shoe are you?”

“An eleven and a half,” Remus said, and Sirius was already getting up. “But Sirius, it’s late, we don’t have to do this tonight.”

“Nonsense,” Sirius shushed him. “I’m not letting you get out of this. I’ll be right back.”

Sirius left, and Remus went to sit back down. He didn’t want to be a downer, but the idea of skating did not really appeal to him. It was lovely to watch, but the idea of actually doing it was frightening. He wasn’t one for embarrassing himself, he didn’t brush that kind of stuff off as easily as others. Not to mention that falling would hurt like a bitch.

Sirius came back carrying a pair of skates that he had most likely nicked from the rental stash. He dropped them at Remus’ feet, and then kneeled down to put his own back on. He looked up and noticed that Remus had not moved to put his own on. 

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Sirius said. 

“I'm just worried about falling,” Remus admitted. 

“Okay,” Sirius said, chewing his lip as he contemplated something. “Then I’ll make sure you don’t fall.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Sirius said, crossing his heart. 

Remus sighed and reached down to put his skates on. He had to pull rather hard, because they were a bit tight, but he managed, and laced them up. He stood up, already struggling to stay up right as he hobbled across the floor so he was standing in front of the ice. Sirius stood in front of him, already on the ice, reaching out his hands for him. Remus took them and let himself be dragged forward. Remus wasn’t quite skating; in fact, he felt panicked by the change of texture beneath his feet, and almost tried to walk. 

“Relax,” Sirius soothes, moving his hands so they were wrapped tightly around his forearms. “We’ll take it slow.”

Remus nodded, and let himself be pulled. Letting go of his resistance, and allowing himself to trust Sirius implicitly. Putting his faith in Sirius was not as hard as he thought it would be.  

“Okay, so we’re just gonna do some simple gliding, yeah? Bend your knees a bit and lean forward,”  Sirius instructed, and Remus complied. “Really beginner stuff. It’s like taking tiny steps and pushing off.” 

“This better not be like when dad’s teach their kids to ride a bike, and promise their not going to let go, but then they do,” Remus warned.  

“Moony, I promise, I am not going to let go of you,” Sirius said. Sirius started to slowly skate backwards, and Remus used the momentum of that, and Sirius’ previous directions to start slowly moving across the ice. 

All they did for the next thirty minutes was go in circles. Remus was definitely not dressed for this, the clothes he was wearing were far too thick and restrictive. And having Sirius lead him around made him feel like a child, so he was glad there was nobody there to watch. But he was starting to see why Sirius and Lily liked it. When Sirius started to have them skate faster, he realized that people were not exaggerating when they said skating felt like flying. 

Eventually the repetition of going in circles started to make him feel nauseous. He made the mistake of looking down at his feet, and instantly started to lose his balance, lurching forward.

But Sirius was there. Scrambling to grip his sides and push him upright. He was successful, but in the process, fell down himself, releasing Remus so he didn’t bring him down with him. 

Sirius landed on his hands and knees. Remus covered his mouth to try and keep himself from laughing. It was so reminiscent of the first time that they had met, except this time Sirius did not seem upset. He let out a deep breath, and dramatically flopped down on his back so he was lying on the ice. 

“Told you I wouldn’t let you fall,” Sirius bragged. Remus couldn’t help himself, and he burst into laughter; with Sirius following suit. Remus carefully lowered himself to the ground before he could fall down himself. He laid beside Sirius and felt the chill of the ice creep into his bones through the contact. 

Sirius turned his face to look at him, “You know, one of the first things they teach you when you skate is how to fall.”

“Seems stupid. Shouldn’t they be teaching you not to?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. You’re always going to fall. But if you do it right, you don’t get hurt,” Sirius said. He was whispering and their positions suddenly seemed very intimate. Remus might be rather oblivious sometimes, but he knew he wasn’t imagining the way that Sirius was staring at his lips, and the way his hand kept inching closer to his own.

“I…” Remus couldn’t find the words to speak as his brain tried to catch up to what was happening. Did he want this? Did Sirius want this?

Then, Sirius was leaning forward tentatively, like he was purposefully giving Remus the chance to tell him to stop. 

If Remus knew one thing, it was that he wasn’t just going to lay there and let Sirius Black kiss him. No, he wasn’t going to give Sirius the satisfaction of saying he made the first move. If they ever told this story to anyone, if this wasn’t just a one off, he would never let Sirius live it down.

So Remus brought a hand behind Sirius’ head and pulled him in. Their lips met and it was like a switch turned on in his head; because, oh. This made sense. Why hadn’t he been doing this from the beginning. Sirius' lips were cold, but Remus suddenly felt flooded with warmth. Remus couldn’t remember a time where he had ever wanted someone so close.

When they pulled apart, Sirius’ hand was resting on Remus’ waist.Without thinking,  Remus reached up to brush Sirius’ lips with his thumb, not quite believing what had just happened. Embarrassed, he pulled his hand away. When he looked at Sirius though, he didn’t seem off put by the display, but instead he was blushing. 

“Just so you know,” Remus said. “If that was supposed to be a line, it was really fucking cheesy.”

Sirius laughed, resting his head against Remus’ shoulder. “Worked, didn’t it?”

“S’pose,” Remus said casually. 

Sirius looked back up at him, and stared for a minute, before cupping Remus’ face and kissing him again. As it deepened, Remus found himself wishing that he would never stop.