Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

So, Jensen loved sex. Well he loved sex with Jeff. That absolutely was not the same thing as loving Jeff cause, Christ, he barely knew the man. Ok, he was gorgeous, kind, funny and intelligent, and maybe a bit (incredibly) controlling but still, he'd only actually met him a few days ago so he couldn't possibly know him. However, he definitely did know more about sex now. Since Jeff had introduced him to the wonders of having his brains fucked out (or sucked out, either was awesome in his book) Jensen had learnt a lot. He had learnt that his sensitive nipples had a direct line to his dick; one nip to them had Jensen rock hard in seconds. He had learnt that having Jeff's heavy body pinning him down to the bed as he rocked into him was his favourite way to end the day and the best possible way to start the day? That was most definitely Jeff's hot wet mouth surrounding his cock. He had also learnt the painful lesson that shower sex could be awkward, uncomfortable, slippery and a health and safety hazard.

Much to Jeff's obvious pleasure Jensen was trying to learn some tricks of his own. He loved Jeff's body and had spent hours kissing paths over it, mapping out where Jeff was sensitive. He loved running his fingers through the soft dark hairs across Jeff's chest and licking his way down the trail of hair over his navel, right down to his beautiful thick cock. He had made the eye-watering discovery that giving blowjobs was not as easy as Jeff made it look but Jeff had made no complaint about being Jensen’s guinea pig. He was happy to let him practise as much as he wanted and Jensen had wanted to practise...a lot. To both their delight, he found that he loved sucking cock (possibly just Jeff's). He loved the sinful smell of it, the hot smoothness of it. He loved the musky taste but his favourite thing, the thing that never failed to make him horny enough to hump against Jeff's leg was the involuntary noises that he could force out of the usually unflappable man. When he licked and sucked at Jeff's balls, Jeff would gasp and fidget and when he kitten licked from the curled hair at the root of his dick right up to the purple head Jeff would moan his name. If he sank his head down and sucked until his cheeks ached Jeff groaned and bucked up and when finally, after several attempts he successfully managed to suck Jeff all the way down and let him fuck into his throat, Jeff was rambling incoherently.

The time that Jensen and Jeff spent together in between all the scorching hot sex wasn’t so bad either. Jeff spent a fair amount of time in the kitchen cooking the best meals that Jensen had tasted in a long time and he seemed to enjoy having company there whether Jensen was trying to help or just chatting. They also spent time relaxing, reading and watching movies. Jeff tried to educate Jensen on the joys of the classic western but Jensen much preferred modern action movies and car chases. Jeff denied any knowledge of how Toy Story had wormed its way into his DVD collection but didn’t protest at all when Jensen made him snuggle down and watch it.
Jensen was starting to feel so at home with Jeff that it was hard to remember he had only been there days and not years.

With only 3 days left of his week, Jensen was becoming increasingly curious about Jeff's playroom. Jeff hadn’t mentioned it again although he had given him some books to read about sex in general and bdsm in particular. Jensen had looked through them and although he was still nervous, his confidence around Jeff was building. Knowing where Jeff wanted their relationship to go, he thought the time had come to move on from the theory work to the practical. He approached Jeff about it after they had a late lunch and to his surprise, Jeff agreed instantly to let him see the playroom, simply saying he hadn’t wanted to put any pressure on Jensen.

Jeff stepped back after unlocking the disturbingly unremarkable door and allowed Jensen to enter the room first. He wasn't sure what he had expected but this probably was not it. His vision of a dark dramatic gothic dungeon was a bit off the mark. The room was probably more than twice the size that Jensen had imagined. The walls were painted a light cream, the large windows were dressed with blinds and drapes and the floor was the same beautiful lightwood as the rest of the house creating a calm atmosphere that wasn't what Jensen had envisioned. There was an open door leading to a luxurious bathroom, which housed an awesome looking shower. There were closed closets lining one wall, which Jensen was unsure if he was permitted to open so decided to leave untouched. The furniture in the room however was not the same as elsewhere in the house. Standing near a wall, was something Jensen recognised from a book, a St. Andrews cross with thick leather straps dangling from it. In one corner of the room was a large rectangular black metal cage with a velvet cushion lining the bottom of it. There was what resembled a dentist’s chair but with leg rests and stirrups, Jensen guessed it could be a gynaecological chair but it wasn’t as if he had seen one first hand. There was also amongst other things, a leather-cushioned bench, a sturdy high backed chair and hooks hanging from the ceiling.
Nervously he walked around the room, fingertips trailing over leather, wood and iron. He stopped at the cage and looked worriedly at Jeff who explained,
"There was a sub that I used to play with occasionally that enjoyed a bit of puppy play. He loved his cage. It got him in the right headspace straight away; he could spend hours in it. It doesn't mean we have to use it. If you wanted to try it, that's great if not that's good too. Different strokes...”

Jensen nodded although he still wasn't sure about it,"Have you...played... with a lot of subs?"

Jeff nodded, "yeah, I have Jensen. I've been into the D's lifestyle for about 6 years now. I haven't fucked every boy that I've played with in that time but I haven't exactly been celibate."

Jensen didn't know quite how to phrase his next question. "Has there been anyone serious, I mean someone that was your sub all the time?”

"There was someone I lived with for a couple of years. We were in love I guess or we thought we were at the time. He wasn't my sub 24/7, I didn’t want that kind of relationship with him."

"What happened?"

Jeff sighed and ran his fingers through his unruly hair.
"It just didn't work out. He wanted more than I was comfortable with."

"More...?" Jensen pressed

Jeff looked uncomfortable, "more commitment, more pain, he wanted to play harder. Don't get me wrong Jensen I like to dominate. I like to spank, paddle, and flog. I enjoy making subs beg and cry. I want to torture your balls and nipples and mark your beautiful pale skin all over. I want to stuff your tight hole with plugs and dildos and do things you can't imagine but there are things I won't do."

"Like?"

"Like knife play. I will not cut you. That is a hard limit for me. I don't like making anyone bleed. There are other things that I'm not into, but that one was a problem for Justin and me. He was also keen to enter into a TPE arrangement with me but I wasn’t interested in that.”

"TPE? What's that?"

"Total power exchange. It’s pretty hardcore. It is like a d’s relationship 24/7. I don't want that. I want someone to share my life and scene with and I do like being in charge, but I don’t want to have complete power over anyone all the time. Other people are happy in that kind of relationship and that's great for them but I don't even want to try it. Did you read any of the books I gave you; they explain this better than I can."

Jensen shifted uncomfortably. “well, I looked through them, but I didn't exactly read them cover to cover." with a smile he added "I looked at all the pictures."

Jeff gave a throaty chuckle. "Yeah, I'm sure you did. So do you want to know anything else or would you like to play?"

Jensen did still have questions but his stomach was twisting with a weird mixture of apprehension and arousal, standing amongst all this equipment. Rubbing the back of his neck nervously he said, "I’d like to play I think but Jeff, I don't know how to. I mean I don't want to do anything wrong. I don't know how to be a sub and I'm... I'm a bit scared."

Jeff walked over and laid his hands on Jensen’s shoulders. His warm eyes focused intensely on Jensen as he reassured, "you only have to be you. I don’t expect anything else. You are perfect and I promise you will love this."

Jeff waited until Jensen’s racing heart slowed a bit and the tension eased from his shoulders fractionally before asking, "Jensen, what’s your safe word?"

Jensen took a deep breath and answered, "Red."

"Good. If you need a break or to slow down what is your word?"

"Amber."

"Good boy. Just listen to me and follow my directions. Ok, clothes off, all of them. Fold them and put them on the chair."

Jensen tried to stay calm but his fingers felt twice their normal size and it took him an age to unfasten all his buttons and finally undress himself. When at last he was standing naked in front of Jeff he was visibly trembling. Jeff walked slowly around Jensen. He looked like he was trying to memorise every freckle. Jensen could feel an embarrassed blush spreading down from his hair to his chest but his cock was also twitching to hardness.

With an authority that Jensen had never heard from him before, Jeff ordered, "On your knees."

Jensen’s knees hit the floor before he even thought about it.

"Good boy. Hands behind your back."

Jensen again complied without even thinking.

Jeff stopped in front of him, looking down, "that's right, now spread your knees further apart, a bit more, no...I think you can manage wider. That’s it. Perfect."

Jeff ducked his head and kissed Jensen lightly across his lips, then walked around him to the closed cupboard doors at his back. Jensen heard doors opening and drawers sliding. He had no idea what to expect now and his chest was starting to heave with the shallow rapid breaths he was taking. He started when Jeff's heavy hand gripped his shoulder.

"Breathe Jensen, nice and deep. You are fine. I'm putting a blindfold on you. I want you to concentrate on the sensations you are going to feel, not worry about what you are seeing."

With that, heavy cloth covered his eyes. He forced himself to slow his breathing straining to hear what Jeff was doing. Next, he felt his wrists being strapped together in soft velcro cuffs. He tried to tug them apart but there was very little give. He sensed the air move as Jeff returned to stand in front of him.

"Don’t pull at the cuffs," Jeff growled in his ear. "They are to help you stay still, to make it easier for you."

Without warning, he felt Jeff's bare foot push firmly up against his balls. He tried to hold still but it was hard not to instinctually flinch away. Jeff silently removed his foot and the next thing Jensen felt were fingers brushing over his nipples rubbing them into stiff peaks before pain spiked through him as something clamped first onto one hard nub and then the other. The sharp pain gave way to a pulsing throb and Jensen was shocked to feel his cock jump in approval.

"That's clothes-pins I've fastened onto your pretty nipples. I can tell how much you like that. Maybe next time I'll use metal clamps and a nice heavy chain. I'll be able to pull on them till you scream."

Jensen let out a yelp as Jeff flicked the pins on his abused nipples then tugged at them until he was whimpering. Jeff's foot again pushed roughly against his heavy balls, his stomach cramped with the pain but this time he managed to hold still and not pull away. Jeff backed off again, leaving Jensen rock hard and panting. Being this vulnerable, knowing Jeff could do anything he wanted but trusting him completely was a bigger rush than Jensen could ever have imagined.

"God you are beautiful Jensen. That first time I saw you in the gallery I knew you were the one for me. The way you were staring at that sub on his knees, I knew you wanted it to be you, being controlled, used, loved. I was so scared that someone would claim you before I could convince you to be mine. Fuck, what are you doing to me? I have never had a sub tied at my feet and just wanted to kiss every freckle on his body and tell him how beautiful he is."

Jensen was glad his eyes were covered because he would never be able to look at Jeff while these words were spilling from his lips. After years of being ignored and belittled, it was impossible to believe he was worthy of this devotion. A rush of emotion was flooding through him and he didn't know if he wanted to cry or come.

The room was silent when Jensen felt Jeff's breath whisper over his face. Jeff kissed him hard, demanding access to his mouth with his tongue. He ravaged his mouth, licked and sucked his lips then pulled them hard with his teeth. Jensen gasped as the pins on his nipples were pinched fiercely then suddenly released sending the blood rushing painfully to his chest then he shouted out as Jeff's teeth bit down sharply on one nipple and his finger and thumb pinched the other bruisingly hard. Then Jeff's hand was grasping Jensen’s balls and squeezing. Jensen tried to pull away but realised that only intensified the pain and quickly submitted to Jeff's desire.

"Yes, good boy Jensen." Jeff praised.

Just when Jensen thought the agony was too much and the word red was flashing repeatedly behind his eyes and almost escaping through his gritted teeth, the torturous pressure on his balls vanished.

"Well done, sweetheart. You are doing so well. Now, you are going to open your mouth and suck my balls and then I'm going to fuck your face. Ok, open up boy."

Eagerly Jensen opened his mouth; he heard Jeff's slacks being unzipped and soon had a mouthful of heavy balls. He sucked and rolled his tongue over them as best he could. Jeff controlled how full his mouth was, pulling his balls out and dropping them back until Jensen could feel spit dripping down his face. His head was yanked back by his hair leaving his mouth empty for a moment, letting him take a deep breath before Jeff's hot dick was sliding past his lips and his mouth was being vigorously fucked. It wasn’t like giving a blowjob. Jensen's mouth was simply a hole for Jeff to use; he had no control and God it had to be wrong to be so turned on by it. Jensen simply concentrated on relaxing his throat and breathing. Within minutes, Jeff pulled out with a shout and Jensen felt warm spurts hit his face. Come dripped down his cheeks, dropped off the tip of his nose and over his lips. He snaked his tongue out and licked the come into his mouth, savouring the taste. Jeff groaned.

"Fuck Jensen. Amazing."

Jensen felt Jeff move and a leg was suddenly pressing against his throbbing erection.

"Get yourself off boy." Jeff roughly demanded, "rub your dripping dick against my leg."

Jeff held onto Jensen’s shaking shoulders as Jensen humped erratically against his leg like an animal and with Jeff’s low voice encouraging him he came with a hoarse yell. His body shuddering as load after load shot out against Jeff’s leg.
Before his cock had even completely softened, Jeff pulled off his blindfold and released his wrists. Sitting on the floor, he hugged Jensen against him rubbing his arms and shoulders. They were both breathing hard, sweat was dripping down Jensen’s glistening body, his hair sticking to the back of his neck, splashes of come were smeared across his flushed face. Jeff was half-dressed and looking unusually ruffled too. He pulled an unsteady Jensen to his feet and managed somehow to get them both in a warm shower before dragging Jensen to bed, cocooning him in his arms and giving him no choice but to snooze.

Jensen woke a little later with Jeff watching him and delicately stroking the side of his face.

“That’s a little bit creepy you know, the whole watching me sleep thing," mumbled Jensen.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. How are you feeling, you ok?" Jeff’s worried eyes travelled over him.

"Mmm, I'm good," murmured Jensen, snuggling deeper into the comfort of Jeff's warm body. "Can’t believe I fell asleep like that."

"It's normal, sometimes your body just crashes after a scene. Come on we'll get you something to drink and eat, get your blood sugar and energy levels back up."

Jeff cajoled Jensen into some soft sweats and cosy socks, ushered him down to the kitchen and fussed over him until he drank some gatorade and devoured a huge sandwich.

"Was it what you expected?" asked Jeff, sitting himself at the table across from Jensen.

"No...not really." Jensen shook his head and tried to sort his jumbled thoughts into something that would make sense. "It was more intense. I didn't expect you to really hurt me like that. Man, my balls felt like they were on fire."

"Was it too much?" Interrupted Jeff, looking concerned "I didn't think I was too hard on you but some guys are more sensitive than others when it comes to cbt."

"It was bad at the time...but it...it wasn’t too much. I really enjoyed it."

"What did you like best?"
“I guess having no control. Just having to take whatever you wanted to do to me. When you used my mouth, god my cock was so hard. I thought I was going to come right then and oh man, the pins on my nipples. That pain was so good." Jensen laughed sheepishly. "I guess I liked it all."

Jensen thought Jeff looked almost proud when he gazed at him, "that's ok, that's great actually. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I am kind of disappointed I didn't do everything I had planned. I really wanted to give you a spanking but seeing you on your knees; your green eyes looking up at me, all those cute freckles and God your lips. I just could not hold out as long as normal. No one has ever affected me like this before." Jeff admitted.

Jensen blushed, "you wanted to spank me?"

"God yes" Jeff groaned. "That amazing ass of yours would look fantastic smacked red and hot. I really think you would enjoy it too, I think we'll do that tomorrow."

Jensen could not wait.

The next morning, Jensen stood under the powerful flow of hot water in the shower thinking about Jeff. After their scene yesterday, they had spent the remainder of the day taking it easy. Jeff showed him some of the photos in his studio and described some of the projects he was currently working on. Jensen was content just to listen and be as close to Jeff as possible. He felt light and happy. His body had never felt so loose and relaxed. Well, apart from the occasional twinge from his balls if he sat the wrong way but even that small ache made him smile when he remembered how he had gained it. In the evening after sharing some excellent Chinese take-away they cuddled on the couch, made out like teenagers and enjoyed mutual hand jobs, gasping into each other’s mouths as they came.
Jensen was afraid he was falling for Jeff. He had tried hard not to. After the way Jeff had pursued him, Jensen’s voice of reason kept scolding him for trusting the man so readily and his crappy past experiences told him that good things just never happened to him so there had to be something awful lurking around the corner waiting to slap him in the face. Jensen’s heart however was already fully onboard the ‘Jeff is a God and I am going to love him forever’ train. Jensen scrubbed his fingers hard into his scalp. He didn't know what the fuck to do. Tomorrow was the last day of the week he had promised Jeff. He guessed they would have to talk soon about what, if anything happened next.

Jensen walked into the bedroom still roughly drying himself off with a towel to see Jeff sitting on the edge of the bed. He was bare chested and bare foot, wearing only a worn soft pair of jeans and a feral grin.

"Come here boy," he growled. “I want you face down, ass up over my knee."

Jensen hesitated a second before dropping the towel in a heap on the floor and with his cock already filling approached the bed.

Jeff grabbed his hand, dragging him in and manhandled him into position. He ended up spread over Jeff's lap, across the bed, his red face buried in the sheets and cock throbbing against Jeff's leg.

"What’s your safe word if you want to stop?” asked Jeff.

"Red."

"And if you want to pause or need to slow things down, what is your word."

"Amber."

"Good, hands behind your back now."

Jensen did as instructed and Jeff grasped both his wrists in one large hand at the hollow of his back.

"I'm going to spank your pert little ass until its glowing boy. When I'm done you are going to thank me and beg to be fucked and you will not come until my cock is deep inside your hot tight hole, understand?"

Jensen had no idea where the’ yes Sir’ that slipped out of his mouth came from but it spurred Jeff on dramatically.

A hard slap immediately landed on his ass cheek, quickly followed by another and another. There was no pattern to the blows that rained down. They landed irregularly on one butt cheek then another, on the back of his thighs and right across both cheeks where Jensen knew he would feel it when he sat down. Occasionally Jeff would stop and rub his hand across Jensen’s stinging skin, kneading the muscles then another slap would reverberate through his body. Jensen wriggled across Jeff's lap. Every smack caused him to rut against solid thighs. Oh god it was amazing, every swat sent a pulse of pain and need to Jensen’s hard dick trapped between his clenching stomach and Jeff’s warm thighs. He pushed his ass back to meet Jeff's hand and rubbed his leaking cock against rough denim. Words were spilling from his lips without his permission. Please and God and Jeff. He was grateful for Jeff's restraining hand gripping his wrists, anchoring him down.

The blows stopped with a sudden deafening silence. Jeff released his arms and pushed Jensen roughly further onto the bed.
"Hands and knees."

Jensen shakily complied. He could hear Jeff stripping behind him.

"Do you have something to say to me boy?" Jeff drawled in his ear.

"Oh fuck...I need to come please, I'm so close. Thank you, thank you for spanking me that's was so hot. Please fuck me, please... please fuck my ass. I need you Jeff please... Sir...please."

"That's it Jensen, good boy. Shhh now, I'm gonna fuck you, use you real good."

Jeff miraculously pulled lube from thin air (Jensen presumed) and quickly thoroughly slicked himself up. He pushed his thumb into Jensen’s hot desperate hole, loosening it up enough not to cause any hurt then in one swift move plunged his aching cock straight in till his balls were snug against Jensen’s throbbing ass. Jensen cried out as he felt himself being filled up. His ass was on fire, his cock was dripping and the need to come was overwhelming. Jeff thrust into him hard, his balls slapping loudly against Jensen’s scarlet ass. Jeff’s cock brushed against his prostate and his fingers barely touched his dick before Jensen came violently, lights flashing behind his eyes, his ass clamping down on Jeff's dick. His arms collapsed and knees gave way. Jeff followed him down to the bed. Hips thrusting in hard then Jensen felt him pull out just before streams of warm sticky come hit his spanked red ass.

Jensen was shaking and tears were unexpectedly dripping down his face. Jeff wrapped him in his arms, murmuring soothing words until he calmed.

"Thank you, that was incredible," whispered Jensen.

'No sweetheart you are incredible." Jeff answered, kissing away his tears and holding him tight against his chest.

Jeff cleaned him up with the abandoned towel and pulled him back under the dishevelled bedcovers.They cuddled and gently kissed each other until the need for coffee and food forced them reluctantly out of the warmth of bed and into clothes.
They ate breakfast mainly in comfortable silence, each of them still basking in the glow of their awesome start to the day.

“I need to go out today and get some groceries,” Jeff declared while they were cleaning up their dishes. “You’re eating me out of house and home.”

Jensen flushed, “I’m sorry Jeff, I...”

“Jensen relax, I'm joking. I love having you here to cook for. It’s about time you got some meat on those bones. I do need to go out though; do you want to come with me?”

Jensen thought about it. He was feeling so calm and content that he was reluctant to stress himself out by having to deal with the real world. He was enjoying being in the bubble of Jeff's home and did not want to face harsh reality just yet.
“I’d rather stay here, if that’s ok,” he admitted.

“Whatever you want Sweetheart,” Jeff agreed easily, patting Jensen's tender ass on his way past.

Jensen was pottering around the empty house waiting for his lover’s return. After years of being on his own it was bizarre how quickly he had become accustomed to Jeff’s constant presence. The phone ringing startled him, by the time he reached it in the lounge he was spared the decision of whether or not to answer it by the answer machine kicking in. He turned and walked away but stopped when he heard Jeff’s familiar voice.
“Hi Jensen, a friend of mine is stopping by this morning to pick something up from the playroom. I'm really sorry, it completely slipped my mind. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just let him in, he’s a bit..erm...he can be a bit....you know what...I’m leaving now. If he gets there before me, don’t worry he’s harmless. See you in a bit.”

Ok, that wasn’t at all disconcerting thought Jensen. As he was still processing Jeff's rushed words, doorbell chimes echoed through the house. With a sigh, Jensen reluctantly made his way to the door. Opening it, he found himself face to face with a tall slim built man with a craggy handsome face, blond hair and intelligent blue eyes leering at him. Jensen took a step back defensively.

“Oh my Lord. What do we have here? Jeff really does know how to pick them doesn’t he. Where is the old man?”
The man brushed past Jensen without giving him a chance to speak, closing the door behind himself. His eyes ran over Jensen appraisingly.

“Jeff...Jeff's not here, maybe you should come back later.” Jensen stuttered out feeling a blush spreading over his face as his usual shyness arrived with full force.

“Nonsense” the man declared, “Jeffrey wouldn’t want me to waste my time when I could be getting to know his delightful new plaything. I'm Sebastian and you are?”

“Jensen,” he choked out, backing away nervously.

“Ah, of course, I should have known. Well, I can see now why Jeff has become so infatuated with you. If only I’d seen you first, you are exquisite. I can’t wait for Jeff to bring you to the club. You must be beautiful on your knees. I wonder if Jeff will share you. You are going to be very popular with those pouting lips; you must have been born to suck cock. Although that tight round ass looks like it would be a lot of fun too. I bet you make the most delicious noises when it’s being paddled.”

Jensen felt his back hit the wall with a thud. He hadn’t realised he was backing himself literally into a corner. Sweat was dripping down his shirt collar and his pulse was hammering. His voice sounded weak even to his own ears.
“What club? Jeff never said anything about anyone else.”

“Jeff never mentioned the club eh? I am surprised. He loves to play there, lots of pretty boys desperate for a nasty Dom like Jeffrey to beat their asses. He and Justin used to be there all the time. Jeff loved watching his boy being used and abused, taking him home covered in come. Still I'm sure the pair of you have been busy, he was probably planning on telling you about it soon. Maybe once he strapped his collar around that pretty neck.”

“No” Jensen forced out. “Jeff isn’t like that, he loves me. He wouldn’t force me to be with anyone else.”

“Of course he wouldn’t force you if you didn’t want to, dear boy but you wouldn’t want to disappoint him would you. I bet you would do anything to keep him happy. I mean if you are living with him you have to earn your keep somehow, you wouldn’t want to find yourself on the streets again now would you. Isn’t that where Jeff found you? I shouldn’t imagine you would be too fussy about who Jeff shared you with if that was the case.”

“No, I’m not... I’ve never been with anyone else. I'm not a...God, you think I'm a...”

Sebastian’s face softened suddenly, “I'm sorry boy, I never meant to offend you, I thought you and Jeff had an arrangement, maybe I was wrong.”

He reached a hand out towards Jensen who suddenly realised he was trapped between the wall and Sebastian’s looming figure and promptly panicked. With unexpected force he pushed hard against the other man’s chest. Caught by surprise Sebastian stumbled and fell back. Jensen saw his opportunity to escape and dashed past him to the front door, which he wrenched open and flew through. He had no idea where he was going just that he couldn’t breathe and needed to get the hell away.

Hours later with no idea how he had gotten there, Jensen found himself with bare bloodied feet, jacketless and shivering violently on a bench in his favourite oasis of calm in the city. His little park was quiet today in the chilled weather. Only a few people walked by, obviously trying not to stare at the wreck of a man having a breakdown in their midst.
He looked up and saw a familiar figure cautiously approaching him. Jeff stopped a few feet away. He looked unsure and worried; his eyes were filled with tears. Jensen didn’t know if that was because of him or the cold wind.

“I'm so sorry Jensen, so sorry. If I’d known he would terrify you like that, I swear I would never have let him near you. Can we go home and talk before you get sick sitting here, please.”

Jensen shook his head sharply, wrapping his goose pimpled arms around his trembling body. He was so confused. He didn’t trust himself or Jeff right now.
“Ok Jensen, it’s ok. Can I at least put my jacket around you?”

When Jensen gave a tiny doubtful nod, Jeff unhesitatingly stripped off his warm jacket and tenderly placed it over Jensen’s shuddering shoulders.
He stepped back and knelt at Jensen’s feet, looking up at him with pleading eyes.
“Seb told me what he said, what happened. He’s sorry. He had completely the wrong idea about you, about us. He is an ass Jensen but he never meant to frighten you. We need to talk about what he said though and I don’t know if this is the right place. Can we please go back to my house?”

Jensen stubbornly shook his head, glaring unforgivingly at Jeff.
Jeff reached out to lay a comforting hand on Jensen’s knee but was stopped in his tracks by an angry scowl. When he pulled his hand back, Jensen noticed that the knuckles were bruised and bleeding. A big part of him meanly hoped that Sebastian had a corresponding bruise on his smug face.

“Alright then. Whatever you want Jensen, you’re the boss. You do realise that don’t you? When we have sex or are playing out a scene, you are the one with all the power. I decide what we are going to do but I just have the illusion of control. One word from you and everything immediately stops. If you say ‘Red’thats game over, no hesitations. I would never ever do anything against your will. I want to push your limits, not cross them.”

Jeff stared at Jensen, searching for any sign that he was listening to what he was saying. When Jensen acknowledged him with a minute nod he continued.
“Sebastian wasn’t lying about the fetish club. I used to go there a lot with Justin and yes, other Doms played with him. They flogged him, used his mouth, and jerked off onto him then I would take him home and fuck him but that is what he wanted Jensen. It got him off. It’s like the boy that loved puppy play. It was his fantasy. I will never ever ask you to do something that terrifies you.
Right now I would punch anyone that laid a finger on you so I cannot imagine wanting to share you with anyone but in the future if that’s what you wanted I would do it for you. I never mentioned the club because it isn’t important. The only thing important to me now is you. I don’t care if you never want to play in public or if you only ever want vanilla sex. I have fallen hard for you. I love you Jensen and I will do anything to keep you in my life, anything, but if you don’t want me, I will let you go. It’ll be the hardest thing I will ever have done but if that’s what it takes to make you happy I’ll do it.”

Tears were escaping from Jeff's eyes now as he begged, “please Jensen let me get you out of here and look after you.”

Jensen cupped Jeff's face with his frozen hands, gently wiped away his tears and softly said, “take me home Jeff.”

Jeff hustled a shivering Jensen into a warm bath as soon as they arrived home. He gently sponged him down, trickling water over his sweat stained back and carefully cleaned the mess that was his feet. They were scratched, cut and bleeding, gravel and dirt embedded under the skin. After helping him out of the bath, Jeff disinfected his injuries and bandaged them as best he could. He dressed Jensen in a pair of soft brushed-cotton pyjama bottoms, a very worn but soft t-shirt and an old hooded college sweatshirt then bundled him into bed. Huddling them both down under the comforter, he held Jensen firmly in his arms as though he would never let him go. Jensen was exhausted and his mind and body gratefully shut down in the comfort of Jeff's embrace.
Waking up in the familiar position of being Jeff's little spoon, it took Jensen a moment to remember the day’s events. He forced open his eyes to see Jeff looking down at him.

“Hi, creeper,” he croaked out. God he felt rough. Freaking out really took it out of you, who knew? “So, maybe we should talk.”
Jeff nodded and kissed him. “Coffee first, stay put and I’ll bring it up,” he ordered disappearing briefly before returning with two steaming mugs of coffee and reclaiming his snuggling spot beside Jensen.
"So..." Jeff started, "I'm sorry. Today was a huge fuck up and it was my fault."

The following discussion cleared the air and resulted in the agreement that Jensen would give up his scummy apartment and move into Jeff's house. After a short but vocal argument it was also decided that he would give up his two jobs and Jeff would help him gain a job he would actually enjoy or(preferable to Jeff) with Jeff's support would go back to school and earn a degree. He knew that Jensen was more than capable of it and was determined to make up for his parents horrendous lack of care and support.
To ease Jensen's worry of Jeff growing tired of him and ending up on the street (yes, Sebastian’s words had definitely hit home there), Jeff insisted on setting him up with a new bank account. He would give him a small fund, which would be enough to set him up somewhere if the worst happened and they decided to split up. Jensen was incredibly uncomfortable at being a kept boy but Jeff insisted his parents had set him up nicely and his art had left him with more money than he would ever need. He was adamant about looking after Jensen and removing the financial worries from him. He didn’t want Jensen to feel obliged or pressured to do anything because he was scared of losing his home.
Jensen for his part was terrified he was making the biggest dumbest mistake of his life but he loved Jeff. After less than a week he knew everything about Jeff that he really needed to. He knew he was kind, generous, loyal, intense, charming, mouth-wateringly sexy and he passionately loved Jensen. Yep he knew he might be making a huge mistake but he was damn sure that letting Jeff go would be a bigger one.

After hashing out all the practical details, Jensen decided to reassure Jeff.
“I know you said you would still want to be with me even if I only ever wanted vanilla sex but I want to be your sub Jeff. I loved it when you spanked me and used me. I want you to teach me to be the perfect boy for you. I trust you completely but I can’t have anyone else touching me. Maybe one day you can take me to your club but I don’t think it’s going to be anytime soon, you need to know that. I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Sweetheart, I love you. I don’t care if I never set foot in my club again, but I am going to build your confidence up so high that if we do go, you walk in with your head high and the certainty that you are the most beautiful perfect boy there.”

Jeff rummaged in the drawer at the side of the bed and pulled out the locked gift box that he had sent Jensen on the night they met.
“I think you know that inside this box is a collar. It’s not a sign of ownership. It’s a symbol of commitment. It means that you trust me and love me and that I love you and promise to cherish and care for you. I’m going to give you the key to the box. I want you to wear my collar. I want you to trust me with your heart and body as much as I trust you with mine. I want you to allow me to collar you, but only when you are ready. No pressure.”

Jensen took the key from Jeff's fingers and opened the box. Instead of the leather collar he expected to find inside, there was a beautiful gold chain with a small intricate padlock as a fastening. He handed the collar to Jeff, declaring,

“I'm already yours Jeff, forever”.