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During the thirty minutes I spent running to Mr. Min's house, all I could think about was Hyunjin, once again. I hadn't focused on my panicked heartbeat or short breath, no. I was only focused on him, just like I had been all day.
It was only when I arrived in front of this little house which was starting to crumble that my thoughts drifted for a few moments to something else. And I barely had time to slow down because the old wooden door opened, revealing the man with the eternal yellow shirt.
"Jisung! You're out of breath!" he exclaimed when he saw me. "Come inside, have a drink."
"Thank you." I whispered between two heavy breaths.
Outside, it wasn't very nice. The walls weren't even white anymore but almost gray. The shutters were completely washed out. But you really couldn't trust the outside because, although modest, the inside was the exact opposite. The furniture was incredibly sparkling and the decoration was subtle, meticulously placed. What I liked most about this house were the many flowers that adorned every single corner with contrasting colors.
"Sit here." he said, pointing to the Vichy patterned stool in the kitchen. "So Jisung, what are you doing here? I saw you running through that window." he continued as he prepared me a glass of water and something that looked like a snack.
"You weren't at the store this morning."
"Were you worried?" he asked, handing me the glass and a plate full of biscuits.
"Thank you. Yes. I didn't understand why you weren't at the register knowing you hadn't told me before. So I thought maybe something had happened to you. And then... I wanted to see you, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. So here I am."
"I wasn't feeling well yesterday..." he said, sitting next to me. "I thought it would be better if I stayed here today. I called the boss who told me there was no problem, that he would find someone to replace me."
"Do you know who replaced you?"
"No. But you do? If you went there, you must have seen him."
"I did. It was a young man about my age. By the way! Do you like lemon?"
"Yes, I do... Why?"
"Wait a minute. "
I got up quickly grabbing my backpack from the doorway. I took the lemons and rushed back to the kitchen before handing them to Mr. Min.
"What are you doing with that?" he chuckled.
"It's a... a purchase mistake."
"You're giving them to me?"
"Yeah, take it all."
"Thanks, Jisung. It's quite sudden but thank you."
"You're welcome. I'm far from needing it and it'll be more useful to you than to me."
"You're a good guy Jisung, you know." he replied with a broad smile on his face.
"You think so?"
"Of course, I think so. Those who don't see it are just stupid. Just by looking at you, we can tell you're a good guy. Your eyes and your smile tell it."
"Thank you. Thanks a lot."
"I would have been the proudest father if you were my son."
"That proud?"
"That much."
"Well, not everybody is, so... But I don't care if you, you think like this."
"Your parents must love you, Jisung. They may not demonstrate it and may even show the opposite but there must be a small amount of love in their hearts for you."
"They hide it very well so if they do. To be honest, I think that's definitely not true."
"You know, the relationship with your kids is probably the most complicated. Some people don't dare to show they love them, others show too much by being overprotective. It's hard to find a middle ground. So...sometimes relationships end well and sometimes they don't."
"Did you go through that with your parents?"
"I went through it with my daughter."
"You have a daughter? Really? You haven't talked about it since all this time."
"For the simple reason that our relationship is one of those that doesn't end well." he whispers, looking down at the table. "I had her with the unique person I ever loved when I was in my thirties. I did everything I could to take care of her as best I could, but I guess it wasn't enough... It's always been very conflictual between us, even more after the death of her mother when she was still a high school student. After that, it was very hard for both of us. And then she finally left."
"Have you heard from her?"
"Not much. I don't even know if she went far away or stayed close. It's even hard to imagine her. I keep the image of her as a child when she must be 40 now. If you want, I can show you pictures of her childhood." he suggested, with difficulty rising from the stool." I have to pick them up because I hid them."
"No! Stay where you are. If you weren't well, this is not the time to get more tired."
On top of that, I didn't want to see him crying. From the very beginning of the conversation, his eyes mist up with tears that could run down his cheeks at any moment. And I really didn't want to see him like that. Especially since my tears would soon be falling as well. It was incredible how much his words had touched me in such a short time. He had the ability to make me listen to his words and to feel everything he could feel every time he painted me a part of his life. And he had managed to tell me stories for months without telling me a single time about his child.
"You're right. I should just stay seated if I want to get back to work soon."
"It's better for you."
"Next time then. Anyway, when you came in earlier, you said you wanted to talk to me about something. What did you want to talk about?"
"Ah... Maybe it's a little late now. Classes are supposed to end soon so I should go home. I'll come to see you again tomorrow if you don't come back to work. Are you going to..?"
"Not this week. The doctor came this morning and I don't have to work this week."
"All right, I won't. I'll come and will tell you what I've got to say."
"Is it important?"
"It's... it seems, yeah. I'm not sure yet. But it's important for me to tell you."
"I can't wait to see your face tomorrow, Jisung."