Chapter Text
The warm smell of coffee and the careful click of the front door closing woke San up. Outside, the sun was still climbing, blocked by grey highrises, and what San could see of the sky was bright blue. Without dislodging Wooyoung’s arm resting on his chest, San reached for his phone. The clock was barely past eight, and he had a message from his mother sent a couple of minutes ago to let him know she’d be gone for an hour.
San put his phone back on the bedside table and rested his cheek on the pillow to look at Wooyoung.
He knew that once Wooyoung woke up, it would only take a few minutes for his hunger to catch up with him and drive him out of bed. He’d stay sleepy for a moment, cuddle up to San, and then get to his feet, full of energy as if recharged, and bully San properly awake with a grin. Usually, San loved it, but this was their last morning together, and San didn’t want to hurry it to an end.
So as carefully as he could, San slunk out of the bed. He picked up a shirt from the floor so that he didn’t have to walk around in just boxers before tiptoeing out from the room. In the doorway, he glanced back to find Wooyoung still asleep and exhaled in relief.
The kitchen was empty, the Sunday paper open on the table and the coffee pot half-full. His mother was out on a walk with the neighbor. She’d probably return in an hour or so, dressed in a colorful tracksuit with her cheeks red and hair windswept. Until then, San and Wooyoung had the apartment to themselves.
The fridge was mostly empty, and San didn’t want to take too much time or make too much noise with pots and pans, afraid that Wooyoung would wake up and spoil the surprise. He poured two cups of coffee, placed them on a tray, then cut two pieces from the left-over cake. He stole a white carnation from the bouquet on the window sill and stuck its stem through the handle of one of the mugs to prop it up.
When he returned to the bedroom, Wooyoung was awake, watching San enter with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He sat up on the bed, covers pooling around his hips, combed his fingers through his unruly hair to get it to settle. A wide smile spread on his lips when he spotted the tray.
“What’s this?”
San placed the tray on the nightstand and sat down next to Wooyoung. “Breakfast in bed. For you.” San took the carnation and placed it behind Wooyoung’s ear.
“So cheesy”, Wooyoung mumbled. A blush dusted his cheeks, and his gaze was fond when he touched the flower. “What does it mean?”
“I don’t know”, San admitted and grinned when Wooyoung chuckled. He handed Wooyoung one of the plates and settled against the wall to enjoy his own. “Hopefully nothing bad.” It had been from one of the funeral bouquets, but the flowers couldn’t all be about mourning and loss. Though that too, San thought and pushed a spoonful of cake into his mouth, wouldn’t be inappropriate either.
Wooyoung sipped on his coffee, always too impatient to wait, and grimaced when it burnt his tongue. San put his plate down and crawled over to kiss the lingering pain away, and once he started, it was impossible to stop.
“I thought we were having breakfast”, Wooyoung mumbled against San’s lips, hand coming up to hold San close.
“We are”, San replied and took Wooyoung’s plate to move it out of the way. The spoon clattered to the floor, but neither of them cared enough to pick it up. Wooyoung carded his fingers through San’s hair.
“What about your mom?”
“She’s out. We’ve got”, San glanced at the clock, “at least half an hour.”
“Let’s make the most of it then. Good thing I already got started.” Wooyoung nipped at San’s bottom lip with a grin, and the covers slipped off when he hooked his leg around San’s. With the way he devoured San’s mouth, San couldn’t ask what he meant, but it was obvious enough when he stroked his hand down Wooyoung’s side and across his ass to find his hole wet with lube.
“What a rude boy”, San said and pushed in one finger easily. “I leave you alone for a minute and you do this.” He added another finger making Wooyoung’s breathing hitch.
“I had to keep myself warm somehow”, Wooyoung grinned.
“Well, then, don’t stop on my account.” San removed his fingers and distanced himself from Wooyoung’s lips.
Confusion crossed Wooyoung’s face, but when he swept the covers aside his smile was back, self-assured and teasing. He pulled the lube out from underneath the pillow and coated his fingers before reaching behind himself. Wooyoung’s jaw dropped in pleasure, and San admired the lean lines of his body before fixing his eyes on Wooyoung’s face, holding his gaze when he began working himself open for San.
“Hyung…”
“Not today, Youngie-yah. I want to hear my name.”
“San-ah. Take your shirt off, San-ah. I want to enjoy the view too.”
San tugged his shirt over his head, kicked his boxers to the floor, and shifted closer until Wooyoung's side warmed his skin. He couldn't keep his hands to himself, not when Wooyoung was spread out next to him, gorgeous and writhing on his own fingers. San brushed his thumb over Wooyoung's nipples then bent down to kiss them when Wooyoung shuddered.
"So pretty, Youngie-yah."
"Yeah?"
"The prettiest. I've never seen anyone prettier."
"San-ah." His name came out more a moan than a word. San kissed a path along Wooyoung's chest to his neck and to his mouth. His lips tasted like coffee and his tongue like whipped cream.
Wooyoung pulled out his fingers and pushed San's shoulder. San fell onto his back, and Wooyoung straddled him quickly, slightly out of breath and hair a mess. San gripped his hips to steady him when he sank onto San's cock.
"Always feel so good, San-ah", he groaned and stilled to wait until the stretch was comfortable. San's fingers clenched, digging into Wooyoung’s skin, and his mind buzzed static with pleasure.
Wooyoung was gorgeous working himself on San’s cock. San couldn’t keep his hands in one place, running them over Wooyoung’s body, from his clavicles to the clenching muscles in his stomach and down to where San’s cock breached him.
San wanted to remember all of it, commit every detail to memory so well he'd never forget the softness of Wooyoung’s skin under his hands, the sound of his breathy moans punched out with every thrust of San’s hips, the way his nose scrunched up when San's cock brushed against his prostate.
Without pulling out, San rolled them over. Wooyoung scratched his nails down San’s back and swallowed San’s groans. San sank as deep as possible with every thrust, his whole body tingling with pleasure, and his mind clouded with emotions, with love and desire and the fear that this was the last time he’d ever feel like this.
The love bites on Wooyoung’s neck were mere shadows of the dark blue they’d been, and San stroked his finger along Wooyoung’s throat raising goosebumps in his wake. He leaned in and pressed his lips to the pebbled skin.
“Don’t”, Wooyoung panted, “San-ah, I don’t want—”
“I won’t”, San mumbled and kept his kisses light, used his tongue and not his teeth to trail a path back to Wooyoung’s mouth. “This reminds me of our first night.” San increased the force of his thrusts, grabbed a stronger hold of Wooyoung’s shoulders to keep him still when he fucked him harder. Wooyoung’s question got caught in his throat, turned into a wordless moan. “Not getting to leave marks on you.”
“Don’t w-want him to see.”
“I understand. But I don’t like it.” San could feel his orgasm approaching, and he snapped his hips faster to chase it down. His mind was overwhelmed with the pleasure and with Wooyoung, Wooyoung everywhere, so he didn’t catch the words before they were past his lips, growled against Wooyoung’s, “You’re mine.”
Wooyoung came with a loud moan. He squeezed his eyes shut, but San couldn’t look away, not even when he reached his own climax. Even when his hips stilled, his heart kept racing, and San dropped his forehead to rest against Wooyoung’s. Wooyoung opened his eyes and tilted his chin up to kiss San, satisfied smile on his lips.
“The coffee is probably cold by now.”
San chuckled, relieved Wooyoung was willing to ignore his confession.
“There’s more in the kitchen.”
“Later.” Wooyoung kissed him again, inhaled to say something more but before he could, they heard the front door open. He froze, and San groped around for the covers to pull over them in case his mom decided to check up on them.
“Boys”, she shouted, “get up and have breakfast with me before you leave!” Her steps passed the door without stopping. San breathed a sigh of relief and met Wooyoung’s eyes. Wooyoung bit down on a laugh and shoved San’s shoulder lightly.
“You heard her. Let’s go before she comes in.”
San’s mother had picked up pastries on her way back, and they ate them in the kitchen, sipping on fresh cups of coffee. San had moved his chair next to Wooyoung’s so that their thighs were pressed against each other under the table, and if it had been anyone else in the room with them, San would have gladly ignored them.
“I hope San brings you the next time he visits”, San’s mother told Wooyoung while they put their coats on. San watched Wooyoung hug her, and swallowed down his useless hopes before he could vocalize them.
When he hugged his mother goodbye, she whispered, “Take care of yourself. And Wooyoungie too.” San nodded into her shoulder and forced a smile when they parted so that she wouldn’t worry.
Getting back on the road was nothing like it had been when they’d been carelessly driving toward Busan. Now, whatever imaginary relationship they’d been living the past week, one in which they were the only two who mattered, felt like something tangible being left behind. San couldn’t pretend any longer, not with the numbers on the road signs to Seoul getting steadily smaller.
Halfway to Seoul, Wooyoung turned his phone on and called home. He began with his mother, whose berating San could pick up on even from the driver’s seat. The call with Yeosang seemed to be easier, and Wooyoung even smiled when he hung up. Then he took a deep breath and called again.
He said, “Hello Suwon-hyung”, and San’s heart dropped. He couldn’t hear what Suwon said on the other end of the line, but the soft tone of Wooyoung’s voice had him white-knuckling the steering wheel.
“I’m coming home. Two hours, a little less. Yeah. I’m okay. We’ll talk when I get there. See you soon. You too—Bye.”
Wooyoung sighed deeply and put his phone away, tilted his head to look at San. San kept his eyes on the road, afraid Wooyoung would be able to see the heartbreak in them or maybe that San would swerve them off the road if he saw the same in Wooyoung’s. Wooyoung took San’s hand off the steering wheel and interlaced their fingers.
They held hands until they arrived. Wooyoung guided San to an expensive neighborhood and to a glittering highrise. San stopped the car and waved away the valet who approached them the moment they pulled up. Seeing where Suwon lived, the kind of life he could give Wooyoung, made San feel hopeless. How could Wooyoung ever choose him?
San wished that Suwon would come out so that he could fight him for Wooyoung; he wished Suwon would stay inside so that San wouldn’t have to face him, afraid to find him perfect and undefeatable.
“Don’t look so miserable”, Wooyoung said and turned San’s head to face him with a warm palm on his cheek. “I don’t want to remember you like this.” He stroked his thumb over San’s forehead to smooth out the wrinkles, and as always, San did what Wooyoung wanted him to.
“But you will remember me?”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” Wooyoung unbuckled his belt and leaned over the gearbox to press his forehead against San’s. “Of course I will.”
Kissing Wooyoung came so easy like it was something San had done his whole life. He breathed through his nose so that he wouldn’t have to pull away, memorized Wooyoung’s scent, memorized the softness of his lips and the way he smiled even as his tongue caressed San’s. He memorized it all because he’d never get to kiss him again.
When they parted, Wooyoung’s hand on San’s neck lingered. Wooyoung glanced out the window toward the entrance, and San didn’t go in for another kiss.
“You should go. He’s waiting for you”, he said instead. Wooyoung nodded and reached into the backseat for his bag. San would have said goodbye, but it was probably too dramatic, so instead, he faked a light, “I’ll see you around.”
“I’ll see you, San-ah.” Wooyoung smiled, then opened the door and got out of the car, and then he was gone.
San flicked on the lights with a sigh. It felt good to be home and to finally be alone. He wouldn’t have minded being alone with Wooyoung, but he refused to entertain that thought. He opened a window and headed to his bedroom. He knew his fridge was empty so he’d have to go to the store still, but right now he only wanted to crawl under the covers for an hour or five.
San’s bed was wide enough for two to sleep in. San stared at it and questioned whether it had always looked too spacious for just him. With a shake of his head, San dropped his bag on the bed and began unpacking.
He tossed his clothes in the direction of the laundry hamper until he pulled out the t-shirt Wooyoung had borrowed before they’d gone shopping. Maybe it didn’t need a wash yet? Maybe it still smelled like Wooyoung.
San stared at it and realized that it was all he had left. Wooyoung had filled San’s life so completely for a week, it was jarring to be reminded of how he really didn’t exist in it at all. San would return to work tomorrow, to his old friends and colleagues who knew nothing about Wooyoung, and he’d continue his life as if he had never met him. San didn’t even have Wooyoung’s phone number, just a ratty t-shirt and blurry pictures on his phone.
San threw the t-shirt into the laundry hamper. He pushed the bag onto the floor and fell onto the bed, resolving to continue later once his hands stopped shaking and his eyes weren’t full of tears.
Two weeks without Wooyoung did nothing to lessen San’s longing for him. San had hoped that maybe his infatuation would disappear with a return to routine, and that he’d only thought he loved Wooyoung because he’d needed someone and Wooyoung had happened to be there. But the days passed, and he still fell asleep missing Wooyoung, still woke up thinking about him, and looked for him everywhere he went.
The beating of the club’s music was usually enough to drown out San’s thoughts. He mixed the drinks with practiced ease, and his smile was infallible, but he still hadn’t been able to fall into the easy flirting with the customers that used to get him all of his tips. Even now, with a girl in sharp heels and gorgeous eyes lingering to chat with him, he turned to the next customer as if she wasn’t trying to lure him into bed after his shift.
“I think you pissed her off”, Yunho said with a laugh while he poured two beers. San glanced after the woman and shrugged.
“She’s not really my type.”
“She’s not Wooyoung, you mean.” San had told him all about the week in Busan over too many drinks a few days after his return. Yunho placed the beers on the counter and patted San on the shoulder. “You’ll forget about him eventually. Nail the job interview tomorrow and find a pretty someone to celebrate with, and you’ll be back to normal.”
San wasn’t interested in a normal that didn’t include Wooyoung, not even if he got the job that would finally let him put his degree to use. But he kept his mouth shut and nodded. Yunho strode over to the other end of the counter, and San turned around to pick up the next order.
It took his head a few seconds to process what his heart realized in a beat. Wooyoung. Wooyoung, warm smile on his lips, diamonds glimmering around his neck, and eyes fixed on San. Wooyoung.
“Hi, San-ah. I missed you.”
San closed his mouth and swallowed. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”
“Why not? I told you you would.”
“I thought it was just… something you said.” San cleared his throat, customers and drinks and work forgotten. Wooyoung laughed and reached across the counter to slap San on the chest. San stepped closer.
“Idiot”, Wooyoung’s voice dripped with fondness, “How could I stay away when I love you?”
“You—”, San stared at him, and warmth spread through his body. The pulsing neon lights seemed brighter, and the song playing was one that they’d been singing along to in the car on the way to Busan. All of this San realized, but clearest of all that Wooyoung loved him. “I was sure you’d—what about Suwon?”
Wooyoung’s smile dimmed, but when San reached for him, Wooyoung clutched San’s hand in both of his. “It wasn’t easy, but he understands. But I didn’t want to leave him without an explanation. That’s why it took me some time to come back. I’m sorry you had to wait.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s okay now that you’re here.”
“Good. Well, aren’t you going to say it back?”
“Say what?”
“That you love me.”
“Oh.” San pushed himself up on the counter and laughed when he pressed his lips against Wooyoung’s. “I love you too.” He kissed him between each word, then repeated the sentence twice more. When he dropped back down, Wooyoung giggled, and someone whistled. People were probably staring, but San only had eyes for Wooyoung. “So what do you want to do now?”
“I want you to take me home”, Wooyoung’s smile grew more blinding, “and this time, I promise I’ll stay.”