Chapter Text
Really, it was too bad that Susan was his sister, Edmund thought, because he really didn’t think his mother would like it if he killed her. Perhaps just a teensy maiming would be okay?
Susan’s face was alight as she talked animatedly with Caspian. Edmund’s face, by contrast, was becoming darker and darker by the minute. He was rather used to pretty boys hanging around his sister at all times, but he was a lot less used to being jealous over the aforementioned pretty boys. Shit. This was bad. All his siblings knew he was gay, but they’d never before liked the same person as him.
The worst of it was, Caspian seemed just as interested in Susan as she was in him. He was totally absorbed in listening to whatever she was saying, responding with smiles and nods. Edmund sighed bitterly, then stalked off to lurk in his room.
He didn’t feel like partying anymore, couldn’t stomach the thought of facing the crowd. He usually avoided Peter’s friends when they were over, anyway, because they could be a little overbearing all together.
Although Edmund had long since grown out of his childhood jealousy of Peter, leaving behind taunts and needling, he couldn’t help but be reminded at times that Peter was the golden boy. Friendly, intelligent, brave, strong. Yes, Edmund preferred to avoid Peter’s friends, because they eventually (if inadvertently) reminded him that he would always be secondary to Peter.
It was never intentional. Just offhand comments about how Edmund never seemed to have people over, how Edmund was always in his room, how Peter had passed his latest exam with full marks, how Peter had won another sports award.
And now here Edmund was, blushing and stammering like a virginal young maiden at Peter’s best friend. Peter’s best friend, who likely was just as smart and talented (and, as Edmund had already observed, attractive) and magnetic as Peter.
Jesus.
What a mess.
Edmund pulled his phone out and called Lucy. In times of trouble, his youngest sister was always a great comfort. Between the four of them, Peter and Susan had always been closest to each other, as had the younger siblings.
“Hey Lu, how’s it going?”
“Edmund!” Lucy exclaimed. “It’s so good to talk to you! I’m alright. Mother’s got the flu so I’ve mostly been taking care of her. She’s nearly well though. Just one of those things going around, she thinks. Anyway, how are you?”
“Not much, really. Had my last exam yesterday. Holidays now, which will be nice.” Edmund hesitated. Although he confided nearly everything in Lucy, he felt uncomfortable with this secret. He didn’t want Lucy to have to choose sides between him and Susan.
“What is it, Ed? What’s the matter?” Trust Lucy to have seen right through him anyway.
“I met a guy,” Edmund said reluctantly. Lucy whooped on the other end of the line. “I was running late for my exam yesterday and dropped my calculator, and it broke. He was nearby and lent me one. But now Pete’s throwing this party tonight and he’s here and he’s flirting with Susan and I just feel confused about it all.”
Lucy sighed understandingly. As a friendly, outgoing child, she had always been well-loved, but sometimes she too struggled to come out from the shadow of their elder siblings, particularly Susan.
“How do you feel about him, then?”
“I don’t know.” Edmund answered honestly. “He’s really attractive and kind, especially lending me his calculator yesterday. But I barely know him, let alone whether he’s interested in me, or even interested in men.”
“Well,” Lucy said thoughtfully, “it sounds as if you’re at least interested in what you’ve seen of him so far.”
Edmund’s mind went in a very different direction than Lucy had probably meant to send it. The thought of, quite literally, seeing more of Caspian was rather distracting.
“But also I take your point about not knowing him. I think the most sensible thing to do would be to get to know him, and then see what happens from there. There’s no point panicking about him and Susan if you haven’t bothered to ascertain the situation.”
Edmund breathed out relievedly. Talking to Lucy was always such a help.
“Anyway, that’s enough about my sordid love life,” Edmund said jokingly. “Tell me all about what you’ve been up to!”
As Lucy began to talk, Edmund heard a knock at the door.
“Oh, hang on, Lu. Someone’s at the door.”
“Edmund?” It was Caspian’s voice. Shit.
“Uh…yeah?” Real smooth, Ed.
“Peter sent me to fetch you. He says, “tell Ed he’s being a wuss and he ought to come have fun”,” Caspian said.
“Liar. Bet he said “Ed’s a little bitch, go drag him out of his room.”,” Edmund replied amusedly. He heard Caspian’s startled laugh through the door, muffled by the wood. He pulled the door open to see Caspian leaning on the doorframe, shaking with laughter.
“Come in, don’t just stand there wheezing. If you pass out from lack of oxygen, it’s not going to be in my doorway.”
Edmund turned back to the phone.
“Sorry Lu, looks like I’m going to have to go. Pete’s sent the cavalry to rescue me from myself.” She said goodbye quickly, and then he hung up, tossing the phone onto his bed.
Caspian was looking interestedly at the posters on his wall.
“Never would have pegged you for a fan of Vermeer,” he said quizzically. Edmund blushed. He had often been teased by his siblings (okay, Peter) when he was younger because of his secret love for the Old Masters and their art. Edmund had prints of all his favourite works pinned to his walls.
“Uh, yeah. I really like his work, actually. He does amazing things with colour, and his paintings are always so peaceful!”
It suddenly struck Edmund that despite his love-at-first-sight feeling, he and Caspian really didn’t actually know one another in the slightest.
Well, he thought, I’m going to have to fix that.