Chapter Text
He stands in a blackened forest. The trees were stripped of its leaves, the woods charred, the ground dark with ash. There is nothing left, everything was razed to the ground, he can see this.
Yet he cannot find it in himself to leave.
His back throbs, he shouldn’t be standing, let alone walking. Three years in isolation has made him accustomed to the pain but he has forgotten how tiring walking could be. His eyes burn, his body feels hollow, and his discomfort has been pushed to the back of his mind. All he could think of was how he had not been here, not when he was needed the most.
He places a hand on the blackened tree, a burnt branch falls to the ground. The whole place gives off the feeling of death and loss. He could have prevented that loss if he had been here, he could have done something if he hadn’t been weak. The tree digs into his palm and he feels empty, like his insides had been scooped out and left to rot in the ground. There was nothing left here, nothing but charred trees and black soil. They didn’t even leave a body to mourn, it was better not to take any chances for a dark power to be reborn.
Besides, no one was crazy enough to mourn the heartless Yiling Patriarch.
He falls to the ground, pristine white robes now darkened with ash. He bows his head and closes his eyes, he fists his hands into the ground. To any passerby he might look like he was praying.
Minutes pass in silence, before he straightens and reaches behind him. He uncovers his guqin and gently lays it on the ground. Dirt from his hands land on the strings and the wood, but he merely brushes it off the strings before he poises his hands.
With rigid shoulders, he closes his burning eyes and begins to play ‘Inquiry’.
Lan Zhan wakes to the familiar view of his room’s ceiling, the scent of incense fill the air and it was quiet. He closes his eyes with a soft sigh, it was never quiet in his jingshi, not since Wei Ying has started staying with him.
“Master Lan,” Wen Ning’s voice makes him turn his head slightly to the side. The corpse general was kneeling by his bed side, head inclined in respect. “I’m glad you are awake, should we change your bandages?”
Lan Zhan feels a sense of disappointment that Wei Ying wasn’t there to take care of him and help with his bandages instead. He places a hand on his side, they were slightly wet but changing them could be done later when Wei Ying was back.
He shakes his head.
The ghost general seems to want to protest but instead he grows quiet again, not moving from his position. A silent guard.
The second jade of GusuLan turns his head towards the window, it was sunset already. Soon it would be time for dinner, he wonders if Wei Ying was getting him food, probably not, if the way he’d glared at Lan WangJi earlier was any indication.
“Wei Ying?” Talking tired him out more than usual, his side throbbed in agony but he could easily ignore it. It was nothing compared to the thirty lashes on his back. He would take a thousand swords, a thousand lashes if it meant he could keep Wei Ying safe.
Wen Ning seems to startle, having resigned himself to a quiet watch. After all, Lan Zhan was known for being a man of little words. He barely spoke when Wei Ying was there, he was basically mute when it came to others.
“Master is-” The ghost general sighs, “He is off letting out some steam. He was- is really angry about what happened.”
Lan Zhan hums in agreement, “He called me ‘Lan Wangji’ before I passed out.” Judging by Wen Ning’s wince, it wasn’t the only thing the Yiling Patriarch called him as he slept. The second Lan jade sighs, “It is almost dinner, when will he be back?”
“I’m sorry,” Wen Ning says apologetically, not knowing the answer. He stands up, “I’ll get you dinner and find out where Master Wei has gone.”
He finally turns to look at the other and simple says, “Please.”
Wen Ning bows and heads out. With no one there to talk to and Wei Ying probably not coming back for a while… He falls back to sleep.
It has happened, his worst fear. Unable to convince Wei Ying to come back to GusuLan with him and with the fear of his reputation and powers growing, the cultivation sects have finally decided to get rid of him- the GusuLan sect included. Ever since the accident with Jiang Yanli, Wei Ying has been in a grief-stricken trance. His eyes are open, his heart beats but it’s like he is not there. He stares at nothing as Lan WangJi hold him, heals him for three days.
Lan WangJi is shaking, he feels tired, and his eyes burn but his hold on Wei Ying is firm. He doesn’t sleep. He was standing guard, everyone was after Wei Ying now, even Jiang Cheng, his once trusted brother.
“It will be all right,” Lan WangJi whispers even as he hears the sound of footsteps outside, it was only a matter of time. No one was on their side, there was no hope for anyone coming to save them. “Wei Ying I am here.”
“Get lost.”
Lan WangJi closes his eyes, his usual shields on his emotions were beaten down by fatigue and worry. “Come back with me to GusuLan, please. I will convince uncle and my brother to grant you pardon-”
“Get lost.”
Lan WangJi’s voice hitches as his sect appears at the mouth of the cave. “I won’t, I will wait for you to get better. When you are better, if you do not want to come back with me, then we can run away, see the world, see everything, eat all the spicy food you can take.”
“Get lost.”
“I want to go night hunting with you, to stay by your side, always.” Lan WangJi admits and Wei Ying continues to stare at nothing, his expression harsh in the darkness.
“Get lost!”
“Lan WangJi!”
There were exclamations of surprise and he looks up to see his own sect, with their swords drawn, ready to end the life of Wei Ying.
Lan WangJi loves them, of course he did, and he would rather not hurt any of them. But they were here to kill Wei Ying and he would not allow that. He won’t allow Wei Ying to kill them either. He’ll protect them from each other. Someone will get hurt, he knows this. They’ll probably get hurt by his hands- but there was nothing he could do, no one was listening to him when he tells them to stop.
“Wei Ying, Wei Ying…” He takes advantage of the lull, the shock that stoops his comrades from pushing forth with their plan. Lan WangJi holds him tighter before gently lying him down on the stone floor.
“I am here, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I will protect you." He places a shaking, glowing hand on the other’s chest, like a promise. “Wei Ying, my heart beats for you.”
Wei Ying doesn’t look at him, he continues to stare blankly and whispers, “Get lost.”
Lan WangJi closes his eyes, face pained as he stands up. He ignores the heartbreak, the tears burning at the back of his eyes. He faces his sect, his clan, his family. His clothes were dirty and torn, his hands were shaking, and his chest felt tight. But his stands firm and looks into the horrified face of his uncle, the worried and frightened expression of his brother.
“Lan WangJi!” His uncle yells, a vein was throbbing on his forehead, “What are you- are you crazy?”
“WangJi…” Lan Xichen looks stricken, eyes going to his face then to Wei Ying. Lan WangJi moves to block him from their sights.
“Brother, Uncle, I apologize…” He unsheathes bichen and everyone looks at him in disbelief as he turns his sword on them. “But I will not allow you to harm him.”
He hesitates… but meets them head on, when they attack.
“Wen Ning?” A startled voice from outside wakes Lan Wangji from his dreams. He rubs his fingers on his burning eyes and turns his head towards the window. “Wha- I thought I told you to guard him while I was gone! Did you leave him alone? What if he woke up-”
“I’m sorry master Wei, it’s just that… I had to get food for him. I didn’t mean to take so long, no one would let me in the dining hall, Lan SiZhui and Lan JingYi had to sneak some food out for me.” It sounds like Wen Ning was back with supper.
“Oh.” Wei Ying, who else could it be, sounds surprised at the reasonable explanation, “Anyway, did he wake up at all? Did he ask for me?”
“He woke up at sun down and he asked me when you will be back.” Wen Ning answers then there was an awkward silence. “It seems like you’ve been out here for awhile, have you not gone inside?”
“I thought you were inside guarding him, I didn’t know he was by himself. I would have gone inside earlier, if I had known.”
“Do you want me to leave you and him alone? You can bring him his dinner, I’m sure master Lan would be happier to see you and I’ll go and talk with the Lan disciples for awhile.” Wen Ning suggests.
Wei Ying clears his throat, “Yes… that would be a good idea. I’ll- I’ll take care of him. You go and be careful, Jiang Cheng was here for the sect meeting, I don’t know if he left yet.”
There was stilted silence, “Understood, master. Take care and good luck.” Then there were sounds of retreating footsteps and an explosive sigh from Wei Ying.
“All right, you can do this, Wei Ying.” A deep inhalation as he pep talks himself, “Just talk to him calmly. Remember, Lan Zhan loves you.” Lan Zhan’s heart jumps, then in a quieter, more awed tone, Wei Ying repeats, “Lan Zhan loves me.”
Lan Zhan wonders if Wei Ying got into trouble while he was sleeping, which was why he wasn’t angry anymore and was trying to convince himself that he was loved. Whatever it was, Lan Zhan will forgive him, he always does.
He closes his eyes and allows Wei Ying to come in thinking he has been asleep the whole time. He didn’t want to explain that he had been listening the whole time and then ask what Wei Ying meant. After the dream, he was too tired to pry into anyone’s business right now. His cultivation partner would tell him everything when he was ready, Lan Zhan believes this.
A warm hand over his almost make him jump but Lan WangJi manages to stay still. Somehow, he missed Wei Ying putting down the tray of food and sitting by his bedside, so deep was he in his thoughts. Another hand brushes his hair from his forehead, followed by a soft kiss.
“You are so-” Another sigh from his partner, “So frustrating. I thought, since you were so strong, stronger than me, that I’d never have to worry about you. I thought since you weren’t the impulsive type like me, that I had nothing to worry about, when it came to you. I thought that the only person who will be causing the worrying would be me, since, clearly, I’m the troublemaker between us.”
Lan Zhan says nothing, continues to pretend to sleep. He doesn’t even fake wake up.
“I know that’s- that it’s not really fair to label you as the only responsible one in this relationship. You’re entitled to your impulsiveness and drunk episodes- I know I’ve had more of them than you and you always took care of me every time. Even when I didn’t know-” The hand on his forehead traces the corner of his eyes, “-Didn’t know that you loved me and cared. You took care of me, even when all I did was curse your everything when you tried to bring me back to GusuLan for my own safety…”
Wei Ying cups his face and rubs under his eyes, “I wonder if you dream of those dark days, when all I did was worry you and bring you heartache. Lan Zhan, I’m sorry, maybe if I had listened- had gone with you… Everything would have turned out for the better.”
Unable to take the apologies, Lan Zhan reaches out and grasps him lightly on his wrist. “Wei Ying,” He looks up into surprised eyes, “It was not your fault.”
“Lan Zhan-” He turns his hand in the other’s grip so that they would be holding hands, “Of course you would be awake when I’m pouring my heart out.”
“You called me by name.”
“Hm?”
“You call me ‘Lan WangJi’ when you’re angry.”
Wei Ying snorts, “It’s your name too.” But then, he remembers their shouting match when Lan WangJi tried to get him to go with him to GusuLan. “But yes, I see what you mean.”
“You’re not angry?”
Wei Ying’s mouth thins but then he inhales deeply, “I told Jiang Cheng I’d talk to you calmly.” Seeing the other’s expression, he smiles sadly, “I sort of lost my temper after you got hurt. I may have scared a couple of junior Lan disciples and caused a small earthquake but-! Everything is all right, Jiang Cheng called me an idiot and told me to stop.”
Lan Zhan’s hold on his hand tightened.
“Yes,” Wei Ying sighs, “I was that mad but that didn’t mean I had to take it out on everybody. Jiang Cheng helped me see what an idiot I was being and… well, he calmed me down enough to see reason.” His eyes looks wistful, “It was almost like old times again, talking to him, wasn’t so bad this time.”
Lan Zhan’s eyes soften, “I’m glad,” Then he adds, “I’m sorry, Wei Ying, for worrying you.”
Wei WuXian’s expression hardens but his eyes were frightened as he pulls their intertwined hands to his chest, “Don’t do that again, Lan Zhan.” He whispers fiercely, “If you die before me,” His lips twists as though he was about to cry, “I will find you and revive you and yell at you and never let you go again.”
Lan Zhan looks at the serious expression on his face, “Mm.” He says, carding his fingers through dark hair. He feels something wet land on his chest and he knows his partner was crying.
He takes it silently, feeling important and loved. It eases the darkness from his nightmares. When Wei Ying finishes crying and looks down at him with a small smile and puffy red eyes, he feels his heart, which has long ago been broken to pieces by this man’s death, mending.
“My heart beats for you, Lan-er-gege,” Wei Ying says as he leans in for a kiss and for a moment Lan WangJi freezes, remembering his dream.
Wei Ying, my heart beats for you.
Lan Zhan closes his eyes and accepts the kiss, returning it gently. A small tear slides down his cheek as he holds on to the other.
Finally...
His heart is made whole again.
A week later, in the YunmenJiang clan’s home, a servant delivers a basket of loquat fruits to a busy Jiang Cheng. He raises an eyebrows at the basket and gives the other a look, “This is?”
The servant bows hastily, “A gift from the GusuLan sect-”
He didn’t finish as the sect leader picks up a letter tucked between the fruits. His eyes narrow as he says, “It’s from that idiot, Wei Ying.”
The servant pales, knowing the silent rule to throw out anything relating to the YiLing patriarch. He hastily grabs the basket, bowing in apology again and again, “Master Jiang, I am so sorry, this will never happen again, I swear-”
“Leave it.”
The servant swallows, “Excuse me?”
“I said leave it. It’s harmless,” He says as he grabs a fruit and stands up. He turns his back on the servant, who puts down the basket and bows before hightailing it out of there. Jiang Cheng takes a bite of the loquat, relishing its sweetness. He huffs in annoyance as he pockets the note.
Come by again soon with Jin Ling when Lan Zhan is all healed. You can help me shout some sense into him, since you definitely shouted some sense into me. (Wei Ying)
At the back, it said:
Thank you, Jiang Cheng.
“Idiot.” Jiang Cheng says again but more quietly. He takes another bite and thinks of more peaceful times.
END