Chapter Text
There is something wrong with Armin. Mikasa doesn’t know what it is, but she knows her friend well enough to know that he is severely troubled, and not simply by the events of the fight with the female titan. She has seen him after battles on several occasions, but he has never been like this before. Normally, when coming down from the high of a battle, he seems distressed and shaken – now he is cold, his face set and his eyes distant. They stand together in Jaeger’s shadow, watching as the Commander goes through each Squad in turn, counting the dead and injured; the Captain stands silently a little way off, the hand resting on Jaeger’s ankle possibly the only thing keeping him upright.
Mikasa knows what it is to lose the entirety of one’s family in one swift blow, and she suspects that this is something similar to him. She is not good at offering comfort, and she doubts that he would accept any from her, so she does nothing but watch and quietly understand.
Armin touches her hand, a mere brush of fingers that would go unnoticed by any casual observer; she tilts her head a fraction towards him, indicating that she is paying attention. After so many years together, she has learnt to read his moods, his expressions and his gestures just as easily as she hears his voice – when he is like this, she knows better than to draw unwanted attention.
“Do you remember,” he starts softly. “When we were children, in Shinganshina, and we thought that the old mill just inside the Wall was haunted?”
Mikasa cuts a sharp look in his direction but doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t bother to question him. Armin wouldn’t have said anything unless it was important. He meets her gaze for a half-second, his eyes cold and dark, before he looks away and allows his expression to soften, his voice gently nostalgic.
“We stayed away for as long as we could, until one of the boys from the village stole my books and left them in there.” He isn’t looking at her, eyes skipping over the soldiers milling around. “And I told you that it was fine, that it wasn’t worth it, and you dragged me in there anyway, because you knew how much they meant to me,” he laughs quietly, and Mikasa nods once, still not seeing where he’s going with this.
“Except it wasn’t haunted at all,” Armin says slowly, carefully, rolling the words around his mouth before he speaks. “There weren’t any ghosts there. Just kids, pretending to be ghosts.”
His hand twitches against hers, and she curls her fingers around his, steadying him. Armin was never one for violence, was never suited for an active battleground; he had joined the military through loyalty to her, and the knowledge that he had nowhere else to go. Even then, she thinks that he would’ve been better off in the Stationary Guard. His mind is a far more lethal weapon than his blades, at any rate. And yet, she can’t help but be glad that he is still here, still with her. She doesn’t know what she would’ve done without him, over the years, and she thinks that she doesn’t want to know. Sometimes she scares herself, when she thinks about how far she’d be willing to go, the things she’d be willing to do.
“Just kids,” he mutters, his hand tightening around hers, eyes sliding back towards the remains of their trainee group. Mikasa’s breath feels frozen in her throat, but she nods quietly.
“I remember,” she says.
“Do you remember how we got them away from the mill?” he asks.
“Yes.”
Armin sighs, a bitter and heavy sound. His mouth twists into something like a scowl or a grimace or a strange combination of the two.
“Wasn’t that fun?” He asks, faux cheerfully, tears clinging at the corners of his eyes and never falling.
“No.”
A slight smile curls his mouth as he spots the Commander heading their way – they exchange a look and a nod. The Commander turns slightly and heads towards Captain Levi instead, though Mikasa knows that that is not the end of it; soon enough, Armin will have to report whatever it is that he has figured out. The Captain and the Commander speak in low voices, though it is easy to see the Captain’s growing frustration.
Yet the ‘explosion’ Mikasa had been waiting for never happens; instead, he almost seems to deflate, his anger running out of him so suddenly that she can’t help but tense in response – such a reaction isn’t the norm for him.
Commander Smith gestures at Armin and herself, and they walk over slowly, keeping a wary eye on the Captain, though he seems to have a good hold on his temper for the time being. Nobody speaks for a while, everyone too caught up in their own thoughts. Jaeger is a solid, silent presence behind them; he towers above the squat houses and barns that make up the outskirts of the village, head turning this way and that as though he is keeping a lookout for any more titans. It is comforting to know that he will be aware of the presence of any titans long before the rest of the Legion.
Armin glances around and, satisfied that there is no-one close enough to hear them, turns back to the Commander.
“We don’t have long,” he says softly. “And if we return Jaeger to HQ, more attempts on his life will be made – sir, we need to get him to Shinganshina as quickly as possible.” The Commander looks Armin over, doesn’t ask how he knows or what makes him so sure. He just nods tersely.
“Tell me what you know,” he says. “Leave nothing out.”
“The female titan wasn’t just a titan, or even an intelligent one like Jaeger,” Armin mutters furiously – Mikasa is aware that he’s got the rapt attention of both the Commander and the Captain, and so takes it upon herself to act as the lookout of sorts, to make sure that no-one is even attempting to listen in on their conversation. With any luck, any potential eavesdroppers will be put off by the steadily-growing ball of anger that she has been suppressing since the battle with the female titan began.
“I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but she was a human in a titan’s body,” he confides hurriedly, and the three of them nod once – despite the utterly life-changing nature of this information, it is a conclusion that they had all reached. “But sir, it’s more than that; I recognised her, and this, whatever it is, must go a lot deeper than I’d originally thought.”
Everyone is still.
Mikasa’s mind is racing, wondering what Armin could possibly have meant – how could he have recognised the female titan, when this is the first recorded appearance of a female type in known history?
“Explain.” Captain Levi’s voice is harsh, curt, his eyes dull as he stares at Armin. Mikasa knows that he is more dangerous now, with his flat voice and blank expression than he could ever be when furious in the middle of a battlefield. She hopes that Armin will choose his words carefully, and then feels foolish for assuming that he otherwise wouldn’t
“I recognised her fighting style, a couple of the moves in particular,” he says softly. “I’ve never seen them used by anyone else, sir, and when she refused to kill Jean…”
“She was in our trainee group,” Mikasa hisses from between clenched teeth, the pieces beginning to slot together – and how could they not? It was such a distinctive style of fighting that she was ashamed she hadn’t noticed the similarities before. But then, why would she? It was hardly the first thought that came to mind when battling the female titan. The Commander and the Captain glance around at the soldiers nearest to them, but Armin shakes his head a little when he realises what they’re doing.
“She didn’t join the Scouting Legion,” he says. “So she’s probably gone already. Her absence would be noticed if she were to stay out here too long, so she’ll wait for another chance. We need to get Jaeger to Shinganshina before she gets it.”
The Commander’s eyes flash, and the corner of his mouth twitches, just barely; Mikasa realises that he has lost people too, in this fight, people that were important to him.
“And I suppose you have a plan?” He asks. Armin smiles grimly.
“You won’t like it, sir,” he says.
*****
The plan is a mostly simple one, relying on a very few trusted members of the Legion, but it still leaves a sick, clenching feeling in Mikasa’s gut. She rides alongside Jaeger as they enter the giant forest, the entire Legion silent and watchful. Jaeger is calm again, but his gaze flicks around constantly, never resting on any one spot for more than a few seconds – he is nervous, Mikasa realizes, wary. He’s trying to keep a watch out for the female titan, or any other abnormals, despite the dense forest.
A message has been sent on ahead, travelling at top speed – unencumbered by the supply carts, they can make the journey back to Wall Rose in half the time that could be managed by the Scouting Legion as a whole.
The messenger Squad is made up of a team of four, spanning several Squads, and the only insistence Armin made was that it contained either Berthold or Reiner, but certainly not both. At first, it hadn’t truly registered with Mikasa why that would be necessary, but when the pieces came together, she felt as though all of the breath had been knocked from her body. All through their training, those three had been a tight-knit group, near impenetrable. She doesn’t like to think of the implications, but if there is even a chance that Armin is right, that his suspicions are sound, then she can see why splitting them up would be a good strategic move.
It had been ridiculously simple. Having chosen three trusted members from various Squads, Commander Smith had approached the exhausted, trembling new recruits, and asked for any volunteers to return as part of the messengers; naturally, everyone had volunteered immediately, desperate to hurry back to the safety of the Walls after the female titan’s attack.
Well, almost everyone. Despite herself, Mikasa can’t help but assume ulterior motives pushed Berthold and Reiner to volunteer.
Erwin chose Reiner to return, as the second-ranking trainee from the hundred and fourth could well be a valuable asset to such a small group travelling at high speeds; a perfectly innocent and legitimate reason to select him. Mikasa can only hope that neither of them saw through the flimsy excuse.
The messengers were given a signed and sealed document from the Commander explaining what had happened and expressing his regret that the expedition was to be cut short. The Legion would return to the Karanese district as quickly as possible, following the same route they had left by.
This, of course, is completely false.
Armin had explained to her as they sat on Jaeger’s thigh that evening, staring at him as he stared at the sky, that if there was even the slightest chance of Annie deciding to leave Wall Rose once again as the female titan, they couldn’t run the risk of encountering her. Not with so many already lost in the initial fight. At least this way, there was a good chance that they would be able to bypass her entirely, and so avoid another outright confrontation.
So now they move silently through the giant forest, having looped around and taken the longer route to the Karanese district. The Captain rides on just ahead of Jaeger, and they are a little way behind the main body of the Legion, precisely as Armin had suggested. The closest Squads to them are Hanji’s, what remains of Mike’s and a slightly newer Squad led by a woman that Mikasa had never bothered to learn the name of. A part of her regrets that now that she is forced to put not only her life, but also the lives of Armin and Jaeger, in her hands.
There is no time for that now, though. Jaeger’s head swings around to the left, and he turns between one step and the next, weaving away from the Scouting Legion and into the forest.
This isn’t what they’d hoped for, but the Commander had thought ahead, and they’d planned for this possibility. It’s not ideal, but they can work with it. The three Squads give chase, with Gerger riding on to inform the Commander of what has happened; Mikasa, Armin and the Captain follow Jaeger as closely as they can, taking to the air when the sounds of a fight reach them. Jaeger’s furious bellows ring through the trees, his lingering madness brought about during the battle with the female titan emerging full-force.
By the time they reach him, Jaeger has amassed a pile of three steaming carcasses, and is working on the fourth. The titans are all relatively small, and none of them abnormal, but that doesn’t matter. No-one else need know that detail, and there won’t be any evidence.
Jaeger’s screech when one of the larger of the remaining titans rips a chunk out of his thigh is good, Mikasa thinks, despite her nausea at the sound. It will lend weight to their story, make it seem more believable. The details are important with something like this, when so much of what they will attempt to convince the Scouting Legion of is near-impossible. The column of steam hissing its way up and out through the foliage is also good; there’s enough steam there that it could easily belong to a fifteen metre class.
Dispatching of the few remaining titans is child’s play compared to the day before, and everyone pauses to catch their breath. Jaeger stands, chest heaving, in the midst of the titan corpses, his nostrils flared and eyes almost glowing as he takes in what can only be described as the massacre that surrounds him. Mikasa has never seen a titan look truly satisfied before, but somehow, even with his alien features, she can see it on Jaeger’s face.
Off to one side, the Captain speaks in hushed tones to Hanji, no doubt going over the plan and the cover story once more, though why he thinks that she would need it, Mikasa can’t imagine. The only issue that Hanji had had with the plan was that she was being left behind.
If Armin’d had his way, it would be just the three of them, but the Captain had insisted on joining them. His reasoning had been flawless, of course; that they would need a commanding officer in case of an emergency, that he was the best suited – physically and mentally – for dealing with Jaeger should they lose control of him, that they need someone who knows the land, and the route that they have to take. She’d heard what he wasn’t saying as well.
That without his Squad, this is what is best for him. Being sent out to the front lines, ensuring that the deaths of his teammates weren’t in vain, that without his Squad, there is little use for him in the formation.
She said nothing at the time. It wouldn’t have been right of her, and besides, she thinks that she can almost understand – after the death of Carla, and the disappearance of Dr. Jaeger, she’d needed a purpose too. Hers had been to protect Armin, to avenge the death of her caretaker, to find Jaeger once again. She isn’t sure as to what the Captain’s may be, and it isn’t her place to ask. Such things are deeply personal, she knows, and however he may act, the Captain has been deeply affected by the course of the past few days.
Armin, on the other hand, had protested quite vehemently; the odds of the Captain, ‘humanity’s greatest soldier’, dying in such an insignificant battle are incredibly low, he had argued. No-one would believe that. The Captain had turned to stare at him with dark eyes, and said simply:
“Anyone can die in any battle, no matter how strong they are, or how weak the opponent. You would do well to remember that.”
And so that had been that, and it is being left to Hanji to provide the details of their supposed deaths, should details be required. They are given all of the supplies that could be sneaked into the saddlebags of the Squads to take with them, and they are assured that there is an old outpost that is still used for storing emergency reserves of gas, blades and food on their way.
Armin moves first, the hooks of his 3DMG sinking deep into the muscle of Jaeger’s shoulder – the green eyes narrow, before they focus on Armin, and Jaeger is careful to remain perfectly motionless until Armin is safely settled upon his shoulder. Mikasa follows him up, weaving her hand into Jaeger’s mass of hair.
She takes comfort in the feel of the key that remains knotted there, small and solid beneath her fingers.
The Captain joins them shortly, crouched on Jaeger’s other shoulder. They have elected to leave the horses behind and travel exclusively under Jaeger’s power. It’s an enormous gamble, relying on the fact that Jaeger will neither abandon them, nor be too injured to carry them away from danger; nonetheless, it is one that they feel necessary. Having their horses disappear when they have supposedly dies would be sure to arouse suspicion.
From the ground, the Squads nod and salute them – they return the nod but not the salute.
Armin kneels down and places his palms flat against the feverish skin of Jaeger’s shoulder, bows his head until his hair just brushes the skin. He murmurs to Jaeger, gives him instructions and directions; Mikasa doesn’t know how much of it the titan is capable of understanding, but when he turns and begins to move in the right direction, she decides that it doesn’t matter.
She is going home.