Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Breakfast at the Dallons.

I imagined it wasn't quite as funny as this normally.

Victoria was smiling devilishly at her sister. Her sister was currently avoiding eye contact with her. And me. I was a free spirit, happily slurping up Cheerios without a care in the world.

Why, you ask?

Because I was in my costume!

The PRT had delivered my costume at the low low cost of the unsettling implication that they probably knew my secret identity, but whatever! I felt like a whole new supervillain! The folks at the PRT had even taken the time to have my costume cleaned! It was really quite nice of them.

"Just asking before you leave, but you're um, you're sure you don't need someone to drive you to the church?" Victoria asked, taking a break from embarrassing her sister via mere eye contact.

"Well, for one, I think Amy would kill me if I tried to mooch a ride off you." I began, ignoring Amy's glare as I secretly revelled in her attention. "And secondly, I am the evil and nefarious Henchmistress! I can't be getting flown around by heroes. Plus, I'm pretty sure your mom would kill you. It's a bad look for both of us."

"Is it any worse of a look for you to just… walk out of our front door?" Amy asked.

"Well, no, but at least then you could make an excuse or something." I hmmm'ed. "Any advice about these Advent people before I go?"

"They have a PHO page."

"I don't have a phone, Amy."

"Oh, right. Well uh, get one."

She's so helpful.

"Just… don't try anything too crazy, Mina." Victoria said. "They're currently staying in a church, so… be careful please? You should probably send them a message before you go."

"Oh fine! It's not like I've never limited collateral damage before… Let me borrow your phone."

Victoria handed me her phone, and I very respectfully didn't look at any of her contacts like a neanderthal. I just logged into my PHO account and shot them a DM. Hopefully they'd read it before I got there. I didn't want to drop in too unexpectedly after all.

I finished up my cereal, washed my bowl out in the sink, and grabbed my mask from the table, donning it before standing up straight and tall as I marched for the front door.

"Well, heroes, you will regret not having captured me when you had the chance!"

"We did technically." "Does house arrest count?"

"It does not!" I huffed, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I was a well rested, cleanly dressed villain ready to have some proper fun! I pulled open the front door and left the Dallon household behind me with a pep in my step.

"Niklaus, can you do something for me?"

"You need only ask, Master."

"Next time… I turn down a free flight to where I'm going… please slap me upside the head…"

"Er… with pleasure?"

"That'll do Niklaus…"

One thing they don't tell you about being a villain, is just how much walking you have to do! It wasn't so bad living in the docks or with Sabah, since they both lived decently close to downtown where I did the vast majority of my criming.

The Dallons, however, lived on the nice side of town. The nice side that was built with cars in mind for travel time! And Brockton Bay Methodist was not located near this nice neighborhood. No, that was Brockton Bay Church of Christ, a totally different church, which was also a different Church from Brockton Bay Baptist, Bay Cavalry Church, and Brockton Bay Catholic Church.

What the heck was the difference?! Why did one city need like a bajillion churches?!

After about three blocks, my small, tired, pathetic little feet had grown tired and I had attempted to summon something I could hopefully ride.

Niklaus was a nice enough guy, sure, and he even had his own evil mask which kinda matched my own, but I wasn't mean enough to ask the guy if he was willing to carry me for… I don't even know how many more blocks.

So, if at first you don't succeed…

…summon some giant plague rats. The rats, named Skirrik and Pustrak (delightful names), had started complaining almost immediately, called me a 'disgusting man thing' and threatened to eat me alive.

As such, they were under much stricter 'no touchy' orders. I wasn't gonna take chances, and walking so long made me kinda cranky, so they got a whole legalese list of stuff they weren't allowed to do. Including eating cheese.

I was feeling evil, and they were gross.

Still feeling sore, I summoned again. Third time's the charm!

And uh, well, it kinda worked. The Judgement Sword moved by essentially gliding from the shadow the arm was coming out of. It wasn't fast, but it could easily support my weight, so I climbed onto the flat of the blade and sat on it like the world's laziest surfer.

Eventually, after getting turned around a bit and double checking the directions I'd written on the back of their business card, I found myself in the right place.

It was a pretty standard structure if I was being honest. The roof rose up from both sides before meeting in the middle, and there was an extra little tower where both sides of the roof met, holding up a big white cross. You know, bog standard church. There was a little side building attached to the main church building that I knew was used for stuff like storage, Sunday School classes, Bible Study, and all that jazz. There was even a little outdoor awning presumably for cookouts and potlucks.

All in all… normal church.

Well, normal save for the two capes standing out front on the steps of the church. I guess they got my message!

Sister Twister wore what at first glance looked like a standard nun's outfit, habit and all, but was easily distinguished by how uh… tight most of it was. The habit and shawl were fluttering openly, but the rest was a padded, shiny black bodysuit. As wind whipped around her, fluttering her robe and habit, I noticed that neither of the pieces of clothing fluttered far enough to get in the way of her vision. Must be some carefully hidden string or buttons to enhance the way her power made her clothes blow in the wind without getting in her way, and her black hair was just short enough to be long without getting into her face past the mask.

Said head covering mask under her habit came with a seemingly advanced pair of goggles over her head and nose, leaving just her lower jaw visible as she smiled.

Hail Mary's outfit was similar to Sister Twister's, but white wherever hers was black. She had a similar skintight bodysuit, but rather than free flowing fabric like a habit or shawl, robes were tied tightly around her body to keep them from flowing save for two long, stiff tassels hanging down from her shoulder blades. Her mask, the same shape as Sister Twister's, revealed short, spiky blond hair. It was kinda crazy looking, but with her unnaturally pale skin, the blond really popped out color-wise.

Welp. Time to make a mess.

"Greetings heroes! It is I! The evil, nefarious, and downright devilish Henchmistress!" I laughed haughtily as I had my Judgement Sword lower me to the ground. The two women looked at me silently. "It's come to my attention that you've come into my city to do… charity!!!"

My horrible little rat creatures, with no prompting of my own I would point out, started gagging as though they found the very idea horribly offensive.

"And so, having heard about your food drive, I have come to claim this church, as well as all of its donated food, for myself!"

Was I actually planning on that? Pffft! No! But I mean, come on! I needed a halfway decent excuse. I didn't really expect Advent to believe it either, but it was just enough set dressing for me to stretch my legs with a good old fight.

Plus, this is a chance for Advent to show their stuff! I wanna see what they can do!

Hail Mary stepped forward to meet my challenge with a big smile on her face as she pounded her fist into her hand like she meant business.

"Stealing from a charity? Not cool, though I suppose cool is more my thing." She smirked.

Did- she just made a pun?! I was oscillating between being ecstatic and horrified as she continued.

"Though it's gonna be pretty hard to look cooler than me when I lay you on your butt, young lady."

"Please! I'll wipe the floor with you and get myself some delightful, non-perishable food when I win. You will be the one on your butt!" I mocked, laughing at her. I elbowed Niklaus, and he started evil laughing as well. It was awkward and forced, but it really helped the aesthetic of a joke villain that he sucked at it.

I could see people peeking out from the windows and doors around. Smart to keep the civilians inside and away from the cape fight, even if I would prefer a larger audience.

"Oh yeah, well what do we get if we win?" Hail Mary shot back, a satisfied grin on her face.

Relief flowed through me as I made a show of cocking my head to the side.

"I dunno. I didn't put any thought into it since my victory was practically guaranteed."

"How about, if you lose, you have to help with the food drive. That, and you have to attend services."

"Oh my God, you want me to go to frickin Sunday School?! LAME! Lame lame lame!!!" I mocked, stamping my feet in faux indignation. It was so… so nice being able to banter back and forth with someone. This? This is what being a joke villain was all about!

"No objections about the food drive?"

"Nah, I figure I can swipe some Pop Tarts if I have to. I mean-! I'm not going to lose! Minions, attack! Fire the Death Globes!"

My Judgement Sword moved between me and Advent as my Avalanche Mortars loaded a giant purple glass ball filled with a swirling, toxic gas, and fired it in a high arc. Niklaus began focusing on his staff as the globe arced downwards, breaking into chunks as the gas started to fall.

But I knew it was gonna be alright.

Sister Twister held her arms up towards the cloud. Seemingly coming from her sleeves, two pitch black tornados swirled up her arms before firing out! The swirling wind stained with purple as she pushed the toxic gas far away into the air. My little rat creatures had just enough time to shout obscenities before she brought her twin tornadoes down on them like a hammer blow, crushing my rats in a torrent of wind.

Hail Mary wasn't having as much luck, however. Ice spread from her costume, covering almost her entire body in a thick layer of hard armor. Niklaus fired some crystalline shots from his staff at her, but they failed to do more than lightly crack the ice covering her body. She pressed her hands to the ground, and from where she touched it, ice spread over the street. She ran and slid forwards on her ice as it trailed behind her, seeming to move with her before ducking a swing from my Judgement Sword and pressing her hand onto it.

She probably expected that to do something, but my Judgement Sword was unaffected. She grimaced as my Judgement Sword attempted to crush her into the ground with the flat of its blade. Too close to dodge, I noticed the ice on her body thicken and the ice on the ground thin as the blade hit her body. Cracks formed in her ice armor, but she held firm.

And I wasn't just sitting there twiddling my thumbs!

My squad of Warg Wolves appeared around me with a howl, ready to rip some enemies to shreds. I sent them after Sister Twister, telling them to split up as Niklaus readied another volley of crystals.

Unfortunately for me, Sister Twister was way faster than I thought. A pitch black tornado flowed down from her waist as she floated towards me higher and higher in the air. Another tornado blast was fired from her right arm at my Judgement Sword.

Who just so happened to be weak to wind.

My sword practically eroded on the spot, as I saw the cracked portions of Hail Mary's armor flake off in places, but mostly remained unaffected. The ice on the floor spread as her armor thinned down, but even with the powerful winds, she wasn't knocked around.

My wolves couldn't say the same. The combination of the slippery floor and the intense wind had caused them to trip in their approach. Hail Mary, her armor lighter, grabbed her two straight tassels and coated them in ice, creating twin ice-swords that she used to rapidly slice through the wolves as I floundered.

I'm not entirely sure what I expected, but a voluptuous, half naked horned woman was… honestly par for the course these days…

My minion, Ishtar my power told me, channeled her own green wind to try and keep Hail Mary at bay, but it was pointless. However Hail Mary's power worked, the wind could only slow Hail Mary down, and it definitely couldn't push her back.

Meanwhile, Niklaus had summoned a shining orange barrier around the three of us, pulses of light from his staff seemingly reinforcing the barrier as Sister Twister, still floating with the lower half of her body covered in a black vortex, launched another spiral of wind at us… and her aim was impeccable. Sure, the wind on its own didn't break the barrier, but the wind had to go somewhere. The black wind buffeted off her chosen target and down into Ishtar's own green vortex, significantly weakening the attack in the process.

Hail Mary's ice crept right up to Niklaus's barrier. It was hard to see what was happening with the pitch black vortex, the orange energy shield, the green blast of wind, and the haze of ice, but I did see the moment I lost.

A white handprint appeared on Niklaus's barrier.

Ice ran up, solidifying the energy barrier enough for Sister Twister's vortex to blast right through it. The vortex sent me and my two summons to the floor just in time for Hail Mary's ice to make contact, catching the three of us in ice prisons. Only my head was free as Hail Mary walked up, her ice floor following behind as she hit me with a smirk.

"What's wrong? You look a little winded."

A lesser villain would have been angry. I was delighted. The most important thing a villain could do, especially a joke villain like me, was lose. Frankly I've had it way too good. It feels so nice to be in a low stakes fight I can actually lose for once. Well, lose without having to run away from. The Wards don't count.

Regardless, I had a role to play!

"A 'little'?! Let me out! I'm freezing my butt off here!"

"You should try wearing some layers. Like your friend there." She gestured to Niklaus. "Not your other friend. She doesn't have enough layers."

"How am I supposed to put them on if I'm covered in ice?!"

Okay this was fun but I was actually freezing. I felt numb all over my body and I didn't like the feeling.

"Mary." Sister Twister said, hovering lower. "Let her go. You shouldn't give her frostbite."

"Fine, fine…" She blabbed before I felt the ice covering my body recede, leaving me cold and wet, and laying on the ice covered ground. Hail Mary pulled me to my feet before kinda haphazardly pushing me at Sister Twister. I basically fell on her as she pulled me in and turned me around in some kind of hold.

"What was that for?!"

"Ohhh… sorry little missy. Did you want me to put you in a hold? I'm told I give great hugs!"

Hail Mary spread her frost covered arms, letting the haze of ice emanate off her body like bad BO or something.

"Actually this is fine."

"So." Hail Mary smiled. "About that food drive…"

"So that's how it is."

I was sitting on a couch in what vaguely resembled a principal's office if they were a Christianity superfan. The posters? God. The books? Bibles, books about religion, and the occasional actual pageturner stuffed between them out of shame. The knicknacks? There were crosses. There were lambs. There were those tacky woodcarved angels with the paperclip wings.

I counted at least five.

Niklaus and Ishtar sat to my right and left like parents at a Parent Teacher Conference, both of them enjoying some biscuits that I'm almost positive were reheated from the state's only Cracker Barrel. I guess these two missed the taste of home or something. I had tried to explain that my summons didn't need to eat, but surprisingly, Sister Twister insisted they eat anyways.

Both of my summons ate politely as I finished explaining my conundrum. Hail Mary gave a quick answer.

"Sure, you can stay with us."

"Mary!" Sister Twister hissed, though not especially venomously. I was already getting a sense of their… vibe, as it were. Sister Twister was the proverbial Mom of this Mom and Dad duo. "We need to talk about this, Henchmistress."

"What's there to talk about? Girl needs a place to stay, can't stay anywhere else because the gangs hate her. We've got a place."

"This kind of thing is best left to-"

"The Wards aren't an option." I interrupted. This was just getting tired at this point. I had a bunch of other reasons why I couldn't be a Ward, but one that was quickly rising up the ranks was how everyone and their mother wanted me to do it!

Sister Twister frowned from her place behind the desk.

"First off: Mary, this church is letting us stay here for the time being, we don't actually own the house we're staying in. I don't disagree that it's our duty to help her, but we would have to ask permission. Second: If the gangs have business with her, we'd have to talk to Father Anthony and the Church Elders first if her being here potentially puts people in danger."

"All valid points, Twisty, but come on. You and I both know I'd just hide her under the cupboard if I had to. We joined Haven to help people, and we joined Advent-"

"Because we needed space."

"Because we still wanted to help people, and being a part of Haven was getting in the way of that."

'Twisty' put her hand on her mask, likely wishing she could pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration. Even when they were arguing though, I could tell they were thick as thieves. They probably did this a lot.

"Then would you perhaps want to explain to Father Anthony that you're doing this?"

"Um, yeah? What could possibly be hard about that?"

Sister Twister pointed a finger at Ishtar, my scantily clad demon woman who was polishing off some strawberry jam from her fingers and making me hungry.

"They're going to have questions." She deadpanned.

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be funny." I said shyly. I wasn't feeling shy at all, but it was a good look, so I committed.

"You thought summoning Lilith there was funny? When going to a church?" Hail Mary laughed. "Don't you know old church ladies don't have senses of humor? They get those removed alongside their colonoscopies, though I think the sticks in their asses should have been taken out inste- OW!"

Sister Twister pinched Hail Mary's side. Sister Twister gave her companion a time-weary glare, but Hail Mary seemed to just break out into a cheeky smile instead of feeling bad.

"Hey!" Ishtar interjected. "I'm nothing like that skank Lilith, I'm the Goddess Ishtar. I'm older than your entire religion!"

The two of them stared at my haughty demon with… something going on in their heads alright. I felt the need to fill the empty air.

"...see? She is funny!"

I elbowed Niklaus. Niklaus elbowed me back. I slapped his head with my tiny hands.

Thankfully, the incoming slap fight was interrupted as Hail Mary started laughing. Sister Twister hissed at her to stop laughing, but that just made her giggle-fit worse. I smiled under my mask. Mission accomplished.

Niklaus slapped the back of my head. I genuinely considered snapping him out of existence, but felt like doing so would make me look like a giant jerk. I settled for pinching him.

Maybe Amy was a bad influence on me.

"Well, tell you what, If I can convince those old fogeys on the board of correctors, you can stay with us."

"I'll be on my best behavior." I promised, and it was an easy promise. Being on good behavior was something I never had trouble with growing up. It was just a matter of learning what people didn't like, and not doing those things, and if you weren't sure, you just didn't do it just to be safe.

This would be easy.

Youth Groups.

They brought back memories.

That wasn't inherently a bad thing. I had lots of fond memories, though Youth Groups and church in general kinda fell into a weird camp for me. I didn't exactly grow up Christian or anything, and neither of my parents had been Christian either.

But when they had to move across town for their new job, I started attending Immaculata, a Christian school. All of a sudden, I was floundering in school in new and unique ways. I didn't know what prayer was like or why it needed to be done every day in homeroom. I had no context for why stuff that didn't have anything to do with religion had to be connected back to it in some way.

We were highly encouraged to join Small Groups, which is what other students called the bible study clubs. Oh there were normal ones aplenty too, but even those had prayer before practice or something. It was like walking into a different world wearing mismatched socks and speaking only half the language.

I once tried to pick up a Bible just so I'd know what the heck people were talking about and I'd fit in, but oh my God it was boring. And unhelpful. At least when an online loser talks up Sailor Moon or Lord of the Rings, I can actually find episodes online and get into it easily! The Bible was like trying to read Shakespeare if he wasn't funny or interesting.

Pure. Unfiltered. Agony.

I gave up after like, three pages into Genesis. Sorry bro, I'm just not into your worldbuilding, and your characters aren't much to talk about either. Get on Cape Pup's level.

Of course, bouncing off of religion while going to a religious school made me stand out… which was kind of tough for me. A couple students seemed to want to make me their personal little 'project' for them to change. Others were all too happy to gossip about the stupid kid who didn't know her periodic table or her verses.

That's not to say it was all bad. There were plenty of people who were making earnest attempts to get to know me, but it was… hard to really accept their kindness. I kinda tried to act like I was Christian just so people would back off, but it made making friends hard. Even when they were honest and nice people, there was always that invisible gap I knew about lurking under the surface. And I knew if I was ever honest about it, that it would become something my 'friends' needed to fix, and that was just me not believing in God.

I was basically always wearing a mask around my peers, which was ironic because I was going to be doing literally that all day today in the Church's Youth Group. Basically, everyone would break off by age bracket and have little bible study class thingies before the main sermon in the… sermon hall? Look, I failed at reading even a single book of the bible, I don't know what a church room is called!

Pew? Altar? Pulpit? None of those felt right.

I was just kinda standing around with Niklaus outside the door, Hail Mary standing behind me. Ishtar wasn't gone, but one of the church elders had apparently expressed a keen interest in having a religious debate with her… and another also didn't want a 'sinful' woman like her in a room filled with 'repressed horny teenagers', my words not theirs. I resolutely decided I wanted nothing to do with that at all, and so I beat a hasty retreat, Sister Twister staying behind to watch that unfolding trainwreck…

Leaving me in the side building of the Church, standing in front of a door.

"All the kids are already in there. Don't look so nervous." Hail Mary chided.

"I'm not nervous." I lied lyingly.

"Boss, just because people can't see your face doesn't mean they can't tell." Niklaus said respectfully. I maturely held myself back from pinching him again. Now wasn't the time.

"Your man's right. You've got the body language of a kid who's about to fumble a spelling bee in front of a full house."

"Okay fine, maybe I'm a little worried. Just… go in and prep the room!"

"You sure you don't want me to walk you in? It'd be easier that way." Hail Mary smiled. I shook my head.

"Alright then. Your loss." She shrugged, walking in and leaving me in the hall.

Okay… psych yourself up Mina. No… you're the Henchmistress! You don't have to be Mina this time. You're like, automatically cool. Capes are cool, so you're cool. And like, this isn't forever. The church fogeys only specified that you had to attend church biweekly to stay with Twisty and Mary, they didn't say you had to be good friends with everyone.

Just put that old mask back on. Shake the tension out of your hands and try to relax.

The door opened, letting Mary peek out.

"Come on in."

I very resolutely walked in, having Niklaus trail behind me. There was a twenty something woman standing at the front of what looked like a kind of classroom. Fold out desks and comfy looking stackable chairs filled the room. There were posters, though not all of them tied back to Big G thankfully, and a set of windows looking out over the hill.

"Henchmistress will be joining you all today. Please be kind to her." Hail Mary said in a tone that was markedly different to her usual somewhat rebellious, lackadaisical tone. I guess she needed to project a bit of authority to a room full of teenagers.

I looked out over the room full of teens aged thirteen to eighteen, my eyes kind of glazing over as they chittered excitedly amongst themselves. I just did not have the social-fu necessary to memorize so many new faces, especially with all the people I saw at my shows and at the lady house.

"Greetings, goody two shoes. I'm here to tell you all about why you should rebel against your parents and stay up past ten. You may cower in fear now~." I declared arrogantly.

Silence.

"I said-!"

The dark, cartoony looking fighter pilot thingy that appeared on the desk in front of me… did not inspire menace… though inwardly I was giddy at the thought that this thing really existed out there in the wider universe. An actual factual rubber hose universe!

Outwardly, I slumped.

"...fine. Where do I sit?"

"Sit wherever you'd like." The woman at the front said with a slightly nervous smile. My eyes swept over my fellow kids. They looked like, well, kids. Mostly dressed in kinda nice sunday clothes. Teen boys who had untucked their dress shirts and were playing with origami footballs sat in stark contrast to the boys who were a pocket protector and a combover away from looking like they were about to get wedgied on a teen sitcom.

The girls were more solidly on the 'looking and acting good' side of things, though there were two girls at the back who wore jeans and t-shirts instead of dresses. Still, even they weren't wearing anything that was too low quality.

I picked the empty table at the front and sat down… leaving Niklaus looking around in confusion.

"Uh, boss, do I just-?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you where to sit, Niklaus." I huffed. My minion nodded… and sat on an adjacent table with some church boy.

"Did I say you could sit there?!"

"You didn't say I couldn't!"

"I thought it was implied!"

"Ah, well, this chair's mighty comfortable you see."

"Oh you'll see alright… Aeroplane!"

Its tiny little engine started up and the propeller on its nose spun up, preparing for liftoff.

BAP!

Only for a crystal to vaporize my poor poor Aeroplane.

"Hey! That was heartless!"

Literally.

"Now now, calm down children." The leader lady said as Hail Mary and the teenagers chuckled at my antics.

"I'm an adult!" Niklaus objected.

"Children." She repeated, with extra emphasis this time. "We do have a lesson to get through today-"

She was interrupted, again, by the door opening.

"Sorry I'm late, Paige!"

And in through the door walked-

Veronica.

My body tensed up automatically. My power slipped off its leash.

Appearing between Veronica and I was a tall man in an odd hybrid between a super sentai villain's outfit and a pirate captain's. He had a massive pirate hat, chain mail, spikes all over his shoulders, seaweed dripping off him, and a massive halberd so tall it scraped the ceiling.

Calm down. You're not Mina. You're Henchmistress. I sent Count Noctilus my usual suite of mental commands, as well as one specifically for this scenario.

"BOO!" Count Noctilus shouted. Veronica jumped, her eyes scanning the room and finding Niklaus, then me, then Hail Mary. I snickered at her confusion alongside the rest of the teenage boys.

If any of them had known me, they'd have noticed that my laugh was just a pinch more vindictive than usual.

Hail Mary said a few words that eventually calmed Veronica down, and I took the moment behind my mask to look her over.

She looked the same as I remembered. Straight brown hair, pretty blue eyes, and a nice, church casual dress on. She had her usual, concerned look on her face as her and Hail Mary chatted about something.

Then Veronica simply walked past Count Noctilus… and sat right next to me. I resisted every instinct in my body to not scoot my chair away from hers. I felt jittery and uncomfortable at her close proximity. She didn't even pick the seat far away from me!

Though I guess sitting there would put her between that jerk Niklaus and Count Noctilus. Speaking of, I had him clomp his way over and- oh wow, yeah, that was a vampire. A vampirate? Whatever. The unnaturally pale scallywag sat down at our table… causing Veronica to scoot closer to me.

All sorts of complicated feelings swirled through my head as my Henchmistress Defense Protocols activated.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" I mocked, but Veronica just smiled at me.

"That was a mean, but it's okay. I forgive you."

I don't.

"Actually, that's a great jumping off point Veronica! For today's lesson, I wanted us to talk about forgiveness."

Oh eff me…

With all the charisma of a substitute teacher, Ms. Paige continued. She went on to a brief anecdote about being cut off by someone on the highway and connected it back to some bible verse, but I was hardly listening. Instead, I was staring at Veronica out of the corner of my eye.

Her eyes were on me. Really, most people were staring either at me or one of my summons, but even with Count Noctilus looming in the entirely too small chair he was sitting in, Veronica's eyes never failed to make their way back to me.

I hid behind my mask like a shield. It was like nothing changed with her. She still had that earnest, nervous smile on her face. Like she didn't think anything of what she-

No… calm down. It's not her fault. NO! It's definitely her fault. It's-

I can't think about this.

"...Matthew 6:14. 'For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.'"

I can't listen to any more talks about trespasses right now! Vampirate, say something stupid please.

"Oh? And if I were to tear into your paltry, human flesh and drain you of every drop of your blood, little morsel, you are saying you would forgive me?" Noctilus asked challengingly like a cartoon villain.

"Yes." Paige answered without hesitation, though still obviously put out. "Though that's kind of an extreme example, and God doesn't call on his followers to be cowards either."

Noctilus stood up.

"Oh? And are there any followers of your nameless God that would challenge me?"

Hail Mary raised her hand… from behind Count Noctilus. I ordered him to ignore her for the sheer comedy factor of him not noticing the one person who would.

"I would." Hail Mary said out loud.

"No one, then? As I thought." Count Noctilus said with an evil smile.

"Um, hello? Vampire guy?" Hail Mary said, knocking into his back like she was a Jehovah's witness or a very insistent pizza delivery woman.

"His name is Count Noctilus."

"Uh, I said I would, Mr. Count Noctilus." Hail Mary tried again, but Count Noctilus was still acting like he couldn't perceive her existence at all.

"Mary, I don't think you have to say Mr. and Count. I think it's one or the other." One of the boys said.

"Is he even a count legally? Don't you have to own property to be a count?" A girl chimed in.

"What if his name is literally Count? Then Mr. Count would be right." One of the loser boys added.

"My minion's legal name is Nyklaus von Carstein." I said, causing my Vampire to scowl.

"My name's Niklaus Dorovna, not von Carstein." Niklaus corrected.

"I wasn't talking about you!"

"Henchmistress, did you literally reuse the name Niklaus because you were lazy?" Hail Mary asked in a complete deadpan.

"N-No!!!" I cried, and it was true! This was just insane bad luck!

"Hah, she would. You're not even half the leader the Tsaritsa is." Niklaus balked.

"That's it, buster! I banish you to the nothingness dimension!"

"Aw, but what about forgiveness?" Niklaus mocked, a little too comfortable with back-talking his mistress.

"Forgive this!"

I had Count Noctilus pick him up by his neck and squeeze as I unsummoned Niklaus, which is a decision I did not make purely to avoid having two Niklaus's. Niklausi? Really, what were the odds they'd have the same name?!

Whatever… I'd successfully derailed the mini-sermon. People were laughing, which meant I was doing my job right! Probably helped that they had no idea my minions were copies of real things from another dimension.

Did that mean gods were real? Ponderings for later I guess.

I heard Veronica laugh from beside me, and I felt my excitement slow to a crawl.

No… it was good that she was laughing. She wasn't- she wasn't trying to be a bad person. She could laugh and smile. She deserved that…

I really, really tried to convince myself that was the case, but my emotions were not listening. No amount of intellectually acknowledging that she didn't want it to happen and wouldn't have wanted it to happen erased the role she played in it.

"...so, I was thinking we could all get into groups with each other and talk about a time we've struggled to forgive someone in the past, and how you dealt with it. No more than four people per group." Paige said, snapping me out of my brief reverie.

If there was a God, he was definitely targeting me in particular, because this was just ridiculous. I could see several unfamiliar teenagers who clearly wanted in on our group, and I just wasn't in the mood to tolerate that.

I felt something shift in the hallway outside the room.

Oh great, another huge thing… I made a subtle gesture to Hail Mary, tilting my head at the door. She looked out of the door's little classroom window, looked at me, sighed, and walked outside.

Unfortunately, that gave a boy and girl a chance to join our group. I might have… complicated feelings about Veronica, but that didn't mean I should torment her with Count Noctilus. I wanted to think I was better than that, even though I'd already fudged that up.

Oh, Hail Mary killed my Sandworm already. That was… alarmingly fast. She silently walked back inside and posted up near my table as the two teens dragged chairs over and sat with Veronica and I. The unfamiliar boy was wearing a dorky dress shirt and a stupid smile. The girl… wait a minute.

"...Mandy?"

The girl blinked, blushing behind her glasses. That's right! She was in Victoria's math class!

"Wow. Small World… Do you want your pencil back?"

"No, that's okay." She said, stuttering like she was talking to a celebrity.

"Good, because I lost that pencil like, same day. I uh, I mean, I wouldn't have given it back even if you'd begged!"

"No need to play it up, Henchmistress." The unfamiliar boy said. "This is a casual environment."

"Do I look casual to you?" I said, turning up my nose at the rando boy. I already didn't like his vibe. He seemed like he was trying too hard to connect with me, and he'd barely even said anything yet. What a… shoot, what's a good invective for a nice guy…

Weenie! What a weenie!

"So, this one time, someone barged into my classroom and tried to ruin my concentration during a quiz…" Mandy snickered.

"...did it work?"

"I got a B."

"So no." I said, practically falling over with how much I slumped.

"No, my parents were expecting an A."

Veronica put her arm around me and started rubbing circles into my shoulder. I fought down the ugly feelings and leaned in. I had a performance to put on.

"There there, Henchmistress." Veronica cooed humorously.

"It's fine. I forgive you." Mandy said with a cheeky smile. I carefully didn't point out how she was just avoiding giving a serious anecdote because I mean, I was a total stranger. It was kinda weird that they were including me in something like this at all. That and I was silently grateful for the distraction.

It didn't last long before rando boy started talking.

And boy did I tune the guy out. He launched into some well meaning yet ludicrously heavy handed story where his brat of a little brother broke his game-boy on accident and refused to admit it. It wasn't a bad lesson or whatever, but it was obvious he was tailoring his story to make me, in particular, feel guilty.

"...and that's why I forgave him, even though I didn't want to. If I held onto that grudge, I wouldn't have the great relationship with my brother that I do now. God gave me that because I chose to repent and forgive my brother."

Christian School survival guide lesson number one: Never question when people bring up God even if you're earnest. Supervillain survival guide lesson number thirty-three: Please don't proselytize to people with secret identities.

Sabah had a lot of thoughts about mask culture. People assumed, for lots of reasons, that she was White even when she was ethnically Middle-Eastern. Those same assumptions applied to religion as well. Outside of denominational cape groups, making an assumption about one's religion was kind of seen as… insensitive.

But the guy wasn't trying to do any harm. In his mind, he probably thought his little personal anecdote was helpful, but he wasn't a cape. Forgiveness wasn't that easy for us.

He didn't know the minefield he was stepping on, so I just tried to play it off.

"Hah! A little scuffle with your brother turned into a whole spiel? Puh-lease! I have made enemies the likes of which you could only dream of! Cricket tried to shank me in a Walmart. I've been shot at, punched in the face, frozen, knocked around and kidnapped. You think a villain like me should turn the other cheek, as it were? No, I'd much rather see my enemies driven before me than give in to your inane mummery!"

"I mean, you don't seem like a bad person to me-"

"I'm not. I'm literally the best person in this room."

"...I was just going to say you could do more good if you joined-"

Snap.

"-Advent."

Oh.

It wasn't the Wards. That was… a breath of fresh air honestly. Immediately, my steadily building anger fizzled out. I looked over at my newly summoned Shadow at the front of the room, featuring a shadowy naked woman in a masquerade mask and a white, extra long nun's habit. She was sitting on a wide throne under a constellation-like setup, and people were staring.

I pounced on the opportunity.

"Sorry. Just a false idol, nothing to see here."

Some of the more uptight kids looked visibly uncomfortable, but most of them chuckled politely at my joke.

Tension relieved, I looked back at Joe Schmuck.

"Oh whatever, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't willing to consider it. No need to prattle on like I'm some great allegorical opportunity for you. There will be plenty of time for that during the actual sermon."

Veronica leaned forwards, taking the guy's attention off me and onto herself. It was such a her thing to do.

"I think she got the memo, Zach. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to go now."

Zach didn't look completely mollified, but he had the wherewithal to drop it. The ick was back, and as Veronica started to talk, it only got worse.

"Well, I always had a… fraught relationship with my older brother."

Mandy and Zach both quieted down as soon as he was brought up. There were few people I had more of a grudge against than Veronica, but her brother was one of them. I could make cases for Veronica. She didn't know. She was oblivious. Clueless. Just following what she had been taught to do, but her brother? He was a different story altogether…

"I… I haven't talked about it much recently, but we always disagreed on things. We both had very different outlooks on God." She said, putting it extremely, absurdly lightly! "And, well, he got caught up in bad business-"

"You mean Empire Eighty Eight." I said a touch too venomously. Veronica looked at me in surprise, and I realized I had to justify how I'd know that.

"It's simple deduction, my dear Wattson. Bad Business and the way you're dancing around it means gang business. There are only three major gangs in the city, and only one gang so much as pretends to have morals. It's not exactly rocket science."

Veronica looked a little put out by my interruption but continued.

"Well, I was struggling with a moral issue, and I decided to ask my parents about it. One of my classmates had confessed something to me in confidence, and I needed help."

"Is this about the homosexual?" Zach asked. "You told us about that."

The homosexual, sitting there, was very, very displeased at the way he'd worded that. It took an immense effort of will to not order my Ruinous Idol to do something regretful, or remind them that Count Noctilus was still here. Instead, I remained silent and listened. Saying something, talking too much… if Veronica realized it was me under here, I think I'd die on the spot from the indignity.

Thankfully, Mandy and Veronica's looks told me this particular stance wasn't the most popular. Still, the fact that neither shot him down told me that this kind of thing was probably at least considered debatable here. It was… disappointing.

Even with as much as my thoughts were churning, I couldn't help but notice a certain someone stiffen at Zach's language. I filed that observation away for later as Veronica continued.

"...and my brother took that information to his friends in the gang. He violated not just my trust, but my faith. People have told me that I should forgive him, but even looking at his headstone… I still find the prospect difficult."

"You did forgive him in the end though." Zach said like he'd heard the story before.

My eyes were glued to Veronica as she nodded.

I was… upset, to put it mildly. Forgiveness? For that f- that monster?! No. She thought she was forgiving him, but I could see it in her eyes. She didn't want to, she just felt pressured to. It wasn't real forgiveness. It was surrender.

And it wasn't her act to forgive either way. She didn't know the gruesome details. Oh, sure, she probably understood why it was a closed casket funeral, but all she knew was the abstract. She wasn't there with him and his buddies. She doesn't know just what exactly she would have to actually forgive him for. How little her brother cared about being a 'good person' like she does.

It's times like this when I wish I could swear.

And I couldn't say any of this. Because right now, I was Henchmistress. For once, my mask felt less like a shield from the world and more like a wall. I was sorely tempted to tear it off, to scream my grief out at the ignorant, oblivious girl I was sitting next to. Tell her just what he did with that information she so carelessly let slip…

But no.

I didn't forgive her, but I had my own reasons keeping me from doing it.

Capes.

We're people who are messed up. Experience terrible stuff. DO terrible stuff. The ABB, Empire Eighty Eight, The Fallen, The Teeth, the Slaughterhouse Nine… So many people get powers and use them to make the world a worse place. Real life may not be like the cartoons where the good guys win, but that doesn't mean I have to contribute to that world. Scion might be gone, and things might be more hopeless now than ever, but I'm not letting some ugly, stupid emotions turn me into a monster no matter how satisfying it might be in the short term.

I snapped my focus back to reality… and noticed the three of them staring at me.

"What?"

"Did you have a story you wanted to contribute?" Zach asked. I wanted to punch him.

"No. I'm a cape. Any anecdote I give would be inevitably recorded or posted online. I don't need a bunch of internet detectives finding out I'm a runaway princess and trying to collect on the bounty my father put on my head!" I said haughtily, embracing the mask once again.

"She has a point, Zach. She can't exactly share a story…" Mandy pointed out.

Thankfully, I was spared whatever other drivel Zach tried to say when Ms. Paige spoke up, bringing the lesson back in order. Paying attention to the room again, I noticed Noctilus looking out on the city through the window like some overdramatic anime villain contemplating world domination, and my Ruinous Idol still floating silently. Suspiciously, her habit had been frozen over her body.

Man, they really were prudes. First Ishtar, now the Idol?

Actually, what has Ishtar been up to this whole time?

You know what? It doesn't matter. As several kids stood up, attempting to ignore my ridiculous summons as they described their banal little issues like they were religious tests of character, I felt my mind wander.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Hail Mary quirked a brow at me, but I was resolute. She must have sensed something serious in my tone though, because she just nodded. As the teens filed out of the room, Veronica even giving me a shy little wave, I stayed behind with Count Noctilus and my Idol.

Ms. Paige and Hail Mary held a silent conversation before Ms. Paige left, leaving me alone with the Advent cape. I waited an extra second or two before having Nyklaus stand in front of the door.

I hit her with the hard truth first.

"You're gay."

There was a brief moment after the words landed where she looked like she might try to deny it, but that gave way to resignation.

"...yeah."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Henchy, I just met you for the first time today."

"Not what I meant. When Z-whoever called Veronica's friend a homosexual."

"He didn't mean anything by it."

"...you don't mean that."

Hail Mary didn't answer.

"This is Brockton Bay. You aren't a native, but surely you have to know what kind of reputation this place has. You're like a kind of role model to the teens and kids here. You should call that kind of stuff out!"

"Henchmistress. I… I can't."

"Why not?!"

"I just can't, alright!" She snapped. "I'm well aware of what kind of reputation Brockton has. It's the home of Empire 88! Haven has a history of conflict with the Herren clan you know. Dealing with people who think people like me are sick… well, I'm used to that too."

"And you just… take it?"

I wasn't sure whether to be angry or just… sad.

"I mean, I wanted to be a hero. Use my power for good and all that junk. Even if not everyone understands me, I can still make the world a better place."

I understood that much, probably more than she knew. That was why I became a joke villain after all. To make the world a better place in the only way I could.

"But then why join Haven?"

Hail Mary looked the other way. That was fine though. It really wasn't that hard to put the pieces together.

"It's Sister Twister, isn't it?"

"God, I'm so obvious…" Hail Mary said, sagging forward onto her desk and putting her face in her hands. "I don't know how no one's noticed…"

She shot me a glance, and I motioned for her to continue as I sat atop my Idol like it was a hoverchair.

"She's… yeah, I'm in love with her. And, I think she might be… like me so to speak. But, I mean, she grew up in a very traditional household, and she's so stubborn about things. One second she'll be talking about how much she loves spending time with me, calling me a sister, and the next, she'll be talking about how being gay isn't 'normal', and how she's sacrificing having a husband and being a mother so she can be a cape, and I can just tell she isn't actually all that upset about it-!"

Mary sighed. It was heavy and weary.

"And I love her anyways. After the Haven scandal, I was ready to leave Haven altogether and just join the Protectorate, you know? Not her. She wanted to show that some people still stood for what Haven represented. So when she joined Advent, I followed."

"That's admirable." I interjected.

"It still doesn't feel like it's enough." She admitted. "And lots of folks here have it twisted too. Church is everything for her. I don't want to push too hard and mess that up. There's folks here with family in the Empire. It's not that easy to tell because most of the time, they're nice people. They give to communion, spend spare time working at charities, but when the right words come out, it all comes back to you."

"I wouldn't be able to tolerate that. I barely held myself back from saying something harsh."

"That would've just made things worse. Kids like that just dig in their heels at confrontation."

"I know! I just wish I could knock some sense into people sometimes!" I said, stamping my feet. My Ruinous Idol crackled with electricity in response to my frustration. "I just- I don't have it in me to be patient with that kind of person anymore. Not after-!"

"He was talking about you, wasn't he?"

I stilled.

"Body Language."

I let out a silent sigh. I reached up, made sure I wasn't in view of any windows, and took my mask off. Hail Mary looked mildly surprised, but also impressed. There really wasn't much to be impressed about considering my situation, but it felt nice to take the barrier down for just a little bit.

"Yeah. I'm the girl Veronica was talking about."

"Do you wanna talk about it? I haven't been here for too long, so I don't know everyone that well."

I thought about it, and I decided that I did.

"...I was in a new school. Immaculata. Never really fit in. Veronica was the first person who reached out to me who I felt was really, genuinely trying to get to know me. Understand me. I'd invite her over to my house, watch TV with her, she'd help me with school. Honestly, I think I was crushing on her."

As the words I'd been holding in for months spilled out of me, I found them hard to stop.

"And I'd just found out I was gay a few months prior, and it was burning a hole in my chest. I really wanted to tell someone… So one night, I told her. I didn't think anything of it. She said she'd support me and everything. I was over the moon."

"Then-" I paused, pressure welling up behind my eyes. "Then I got home from school two days later, and the Empire was in my living room. And my parents-!"

My voice broke. Mary pulled me into a hug and I just sat there, letting it all out for the first time in a while.

"You don't have to say anything else." Mary said. "I understand."

And she did. She gave me the time to compose myself. She was cold to the touch, but her hug warmed me up all the same. Eventually, I could talk again.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. You didn't have to share any of that with me."

"It felt hypocritical. Pressuring you to talk and keeping all my own secrets. It's not like my identity matters. I can't exactly go grocery shopping, and I don't have any family people can kidnap anymore."

The words crawled off my tongue, but they were true. My secret identity was easy to give away at this point. I had no family, no schooling, and no real future outside of being a cape. I loved being a villain, but it still felt suffocating that it was my only realistic choice.

"The world's not a fair place to people like us." Mary said quietly. "Sometimes it feels like all we can do is endure what the world throws at us and do our best regardless."

"It sucks."

"Henchmistress-"

"Mina."

"Mina. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can come find me. I'll always find time to lend you support." Hail Mary said, smiling sadly at me. "And who knows? Someday in the future, people like us will be able to be themselves without fear."

I understood what she meant, that she was trying to cheer me up.

But something about it just didn't sit right with me.

That feeling of disquiet didn't fade as I waltzed into the fellowship hall.

That's what it was called!

I was sitting up at the front of the pews, right next to the stage. Count Noctilus sat to my left, hilariously out of place, while Ishtar sat to my right, hilariously in place for all the wrong reasons. She looked quite pleased with herself, and judging by the furious glare one of the old men behind us was shooting her, there was a story there. She had also been stuffed into a pair of sweatpants and a Brockton U hoodie, which I found absolutely hilarious.

Sister Twister, similarly, looked quite displeased at my little demon. I could see Hail Mary rubbing circles onto her hand to calm her down, and it was working judging by how her shoulders relaxed, but I still felt somewhat responsible. What the heck did you do, Ishtar?!

I really needed to keep a better handle on my summons.

The Ruinous Idol didn't fit through the door, so I had to unsummon it, adding to my dissatisfaction. Sitting in the front row was another. Oh, it was practical. People were going to be looking back at me and my summons if I sat anywhere else, and ideally people should be looking at the preacher, but it still meant I couldn't see everyone staring at me, I could only feel them. That was almost worse.

The words Mary told me were wringing in my ears as I sat there. Not the words of comfort and support, but the confession that she felt she couldn't say anything. Even as a hero, she didn't feel safe enough to be honest about herself. Sure, she was a hero, but what about her? Even with powers, the influence of the Empire and what they represented was still repressing her. Hurting her without a gun or a cape in sight.

My thoughts continued to churn as the Worship Leader got up on the stage and asked everyone to open up their songbooks. Everyone stood, but I stayed seated with my minions, despite the overwhelming peer pressure to stand, and just let the singing happen in the background. The pianist started playing as I let my mind wander.

My life has been super memorable this past month. I've made a lot of people smile and done a lot of good. It's had its bad moments here and there, sure, but I think I was managing to do good in spite of everything going against me. None of that would have happened if I hadn't been brave enough to step out into the world and make a fool of myself.

"Our God! Is an awesome God- he reigns~!"

I mean, really, even with everything that's happened, I was still me. I hadn't let everything I'd been through burn me out yet. And I mean, I wasn't alone.

Not just in the usual sense. I never would have met Sabah if I hadn't taken that first step. Not Amy or Victoria, none of the Wards. And that wasn't even counting the people who'd met me. The Walmart duo, Lilith, Mandy, little June Bug, Margaret and Michelle. I've made lots of people's lives just that little bit nicer because I stood up for what I believed in.

"Because he liiiives! I can faaaaace tomoooorrooooow~!"

Sister Twister and Hail Mary were similar. Haven kinda exploded, and yet here they were, still trying to do right by the world. Even offering to let me stay with them. Sabah, New Wave, even… eugh, the Wards. They were all kind people in an unkind world just like me, doing their very best.

And I was doing awesome. I think… Mom and Dad would be proud of me. Probably. I could only really hope they would at this point. I was doing it my way, the only way I could, but I was doing good.

" aaaa wretch! Liiike meeeee~!"

I had to be okay with that. But I still couldn't help but feel like there was more I could be doing. As the singing wound down and the song-leader told everyone to be seated. I absentmindedly looked over at my summons as the preacher for today, Advent's own Father Anthony, stepped up on the stage.

"God calls us not to content ourselves with the path Jesus has granted us into his Father's heaven. He calls for us, all of us, to reach out to those who have yet to find his glory, and offer them a helping hand. For we are his hands and feet. We who partake in his flesh and blood in communion. For God put us on this earth that we might share the gifts he has given us with those less fortunate."

Count Noctilus, Nyklaus von Carstein… probably wasn't a good person. No one who dresses like that really could be, and given his threat of sucking people dry, he was probably a killer, only silent and following orders because of my power. Sometimes, I liked to think that villains in cartoons were just that, cartoonishly evil. But with the knowledge that my summons likely existed out there for real… Well, it was evidence that I could be doing so, so much worse if nothing else.

"I ask of you all today to embrace that generosity. That charity. For the bible says to us that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle… then it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. For all of our mortal possessions will not follow us when we go to our father in heaven. It is the temptation of wealth that calls men to evil. All around the world, those granted power are tempted, and many succumb."

Ishtar was… different. She called herself a goddess, though it didn't feel quite accurate. She was very… open, and not just in how she dressed. She was beautiful, but I could sense a certain mean streak underneath it as well. She definitely wasn't a hero either. She felt larger than life in a way people in Bet couldn't really emulate. Niklaus was just a guy. A guy in an evil outfit, but a guy nonetheless. I regretted not badgering him with more questions. Even if he was bound to disappear, all my summons had histories. I really should try to learn from them when I could…

"And yet, there are those who resist those temptations. Be it Hail Mary and Sister Twister, our sisters from Advent, to our local heroes, to the heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice against the Endbringers… for Scion and Eidolon certainly knew that their sacrifice was not in vain. In their act of mercy and generosity, they earned themselves a place beside the throne of God!"

And then there were those two. In the wake of Scion's disappearance and the Fallen's fallout, these two were here too. Brave in their own way, but still… both lacking a certain courage. Hail Mary was obvious. She felt unable to really change the system around her, and she just… resigned herself to it. Sister Twister… trapped herself with it. She didn't think outside of the box, and that limited who she could really help. They were both self-sacrificing, but why the heck did they even need to sacrifice anything?!

"But it is not only those with powers who can make a difference. Our ministry is working together to feed the poor and the sick, and let me tell you folks, that effort is something God no doubt approves of. Every last one of us has their place in God's plan, no matter how big or how small. God has a plan for all of us, so do not look at those who have fallen on hard times and deride them, for even the most misguided may yet find their way back to him!"

I had to admit, he was a good public speaker. I guess when you gave public speeches as your job twice a week, you developed the skill. Still, it was a little strange that he presumed Eidolon and Scion died, though I guess 'missing' only accounted for so much after over a year.

The man could set a mood though. Even as a nonbeliever myself, his energy certainly made me want to donate money I didn't have… or maybe I was just a sucker.

My eyes strayed, and I locked gazes with Hail Mary. She gave me a mirthless smile. Commiserating. The kind of smile you gave when you just learned to accept it.

And in that moment, as Father Anthony's sermon reached its fever pitch, I decided to do something stupid.

What was it Victoria had said? Better to ask for forgiveness than permission?

I stood, mentally commanding my minions to do so only a moment later. With all the swagger of a supermodel on the red carpet, I strode up the steps to the side before either of the heroes could stop me. I climbed the steps up to Father Anthony, cutting him off as he turned to look at me. I gestured to his mic. For whatever reason, he simply nodded and stepped back, leaving me the podium.

I was… slightly too short for the podium.

That could be fixed!

What I, and the stage itself, were utterly unprepared for was the giant, heavily armored Triceratops my power decided to summon. Hail Mary, thankfully, acted fast. As the stage started to strain and buckle under the weight, her ice spread over it, reinforcing it just enough that my Triceratops wouldn't crush the whole thing.

I silently thanked her while I climbed up the Triceratops's tail and onto its howdah. Now THIS was a view! Count Noctilus and Ishtar joined me, though they could both float apparently…

Whatever. I had a speech to make.

"Citizens of Brockton Bay! I have come before you today with a message. No, a declaration."

I felt my palms go sweaty under my gloves, but I kept myself together.

"This city we live in is home to many evils. Villains, criminals, kidnappers. I'm sure you all need no introductions… but many of you are likely unfamiliar with the greatest villain in this city…"

"Obviously, I'm talking about me!"

The crowd chuckled at my arrogant declaration. I was being completely sincere.

"Look at the competition, and the truth will make itself clear! The ABB runs protection rackets, gun and drug smuggling, shakedowns and kidnappings, and human trafficking. The Empire does much the same! They have many pretty words about making the Bay a better place, but they are just that! Words! For their every claim of superiority, that they resort to violence and bloodshed to try and prove it reveals how callow and cravenhearted they truly are!"

I paused for dramatic effect.

"There are many other challengers. Petty burglars like Circus harm small businesses. The Undersiders are barely a name worth mentioning. The downtown mercenaries enact violence at the behest of a complete unknown. Each and every one of them fails to stack up, and it's not simply because they can't summon dinosaurs like me…"

More polite laughter. I kept going.

"Tell me: When is the last time any other villain has brought a smile to the people of Brockton Bay?! For all their excuses, at the end of the day, the gangs are little more than a blight on this city. A silent, insidious evil that makes you look over your shoulder in the night. They are the reason you teach your children to recognize gang tags and practice active cape drills at school."

I paced back and forth in the Howdah.

"And Brockton Bay accepted it. Rolled on their backs and presented their bellies. Because changing the status quo would be too difficult, too arduous, even as their ilk creates more and more victims by the day."

"I am not so pathetic! I leave behind not fear, but smiles! That is what separates me from the rest of the pack! They browbeat the citizens of this fine city in the hopes they will learn to feel helpless. This makes them weak!"

The important part. I made sure my eyes were on Hail Mary.

"I am the strongest! The longest! The greatest! The straightest!"

I made a show of pausing.

"No… that isn't quite right." I said, sending a mental command to Ishtar. Her hands clasped together in a mock prayer as an invisible wind seemed to ripple across her clothes. In the air over my Triceratops, covering the stained glass window and the ceiling behind me, a rainbow appeared. Shifting, multiform colors of light cascaded behind me as I planted a foot on the Howdah and raised my voice!

"I am the slayest! The gayest! The here-to-stayest! The other villains in town had better watch out! Because Brockton Bay belongs to the Henchmistress, and I won't tolerate their joyless clownery for another second! When I'm done with them, this city will cheer as they hand me the keys to Brockton's criminal underbelly, because at the end of it all... they are beloathed, and I am beloved!"

At this declaration, I had my Triceratops let out a great roar! I sent a mental command to Ishtar to twirl me around like a dancer as Count Noctilus spread his arms and evil laughed behind me. Ishtar joyously swung me around in the Howdah before my impromptu audience as the pianist, bless them, did a little diddy showtune. Ishtar looked supremely pleased as she dipped me low in a tango.

I seriously doubted anyone in Brockton Bay was ever going to have a cooler coming out than me. Is it still apostasy if it's objectively awesome?

I mentally commanded all three of my minions to abruptly stop.

"Thank you." I said in the most understated, tonal whiplash imaginable. I slid down the Howdah with Ishtar and Noctilus following behind me, awkwardly handing my mic back to Father Anthony. As though I had done absolutely nothing special, I sat back down with my summons.

Sister Twister looked beyond uncomfortable, but Hail Mary's expression. The spectacle I'd put on just for her… I could tell she was touched. I hoped, more than anything, that my little display gave her even the slightest amount of courage.

And I looked back up at the stage, the rainbow still lingering in the air.

"Well, the church elders don't want you attending church anymore." Hail Mary laughed at their dinner table. It was a humble little place they were staying, sparse on the decorations save for several christian doohickeys here and there. Sister Twister sat at the table with a thoughtful frown on her face.

Credit where it was due, Father Anthony had continued his sermon, and even piggybacked off my declaration. He really was a talented public speaker, though he never really succeeded in getting the crowd to move on. The kids, and lots of adults too, were eager for the sermon to end so they could pet my Triceratops. I had left him in the church, and he had even cleared some room so my dinosaur could stand without crushing the stage.

It was a fun experience.

Ishtar was hovering behind me, a delighted smile on her face, and Count Noctilus had been unsummoned. He'd actually just… asked to be unsummoned. Once it became clear I wouldn't let him do anything evil, he simply told me he didn't want to be here anymore. I was fine getting rid of him, but Ishtar was insistent on sticking around. Something about my declaration really made her happy.

That couldn't be said for everyone.

"Henchmistress, do you have any idea what you just did?" Sister Twister asked.

"I do."

"You might as well have declared war on the gangs. They don't take this kind of thing lying down you know."

"I know."

"Take this seriously!" Sister Twister shouted. "You put yourself in danger!"

"I know what I did." I pressed. "And I'd do it again. How many people can't be themselves because the Empire keeps them too scared? I can't just… sit back and let it happen, and I'm tired of lying about who I am!"

I grabbed my mask and slammed it on the table.

"Do you know how close I was to just… taking off my mask. Telling the whole church that the Empire killed my parents? Frick the unwritten rules! They didn't protect Fleur. They didn't protect Vikare. They didn't protect all the independent heroes who've lost their lives. Is killing supposed to be okay because they do it in costume?! Someone has to take a stand about it!"

"That someone doesn't have to be you. You're young! You don't have everything figured out yet!"

I could tell she was just worried about me, but I didn't trust myself to respond.

"I just… I just don't understand why-"

"She did it for me."

Sister Twister turned to Hail Mary, visibly off balance.

"I'm gay. She figured it out, and…"

Whatever courage she'd managed to muster petered out under Sister Twister's disbelieving gaze.

"...I was too scared to say anything."

Sister Twister's mouth opened and closed several times. I could see her mind running a thousand miles a minute. Before she could come to any kind of conclusion, she abruptly stood up and walked down the hall to her room.

The door didn't slam, but it was deafening in the silence she left in her wake.

"She'll come around." Hail Mary said, half confident, and half in an attempt to convince herself of the truth. "Though I might be sleeping on the couch tonight…"

"...you were sleeping in the same bed?"

Hail Mary looked away from me and cleared her throat.

"You should get to bed."

I smiled.

I had a feeling things were gonna be alright.

"You rang boss?"

"There has been a change of plans."

"Nice to talk to you too, I'm doing great, thanks for asking."

"Tattletale."

"Alright, alright. What's different?"

"Do not attempt to contact her again."

"...what about all the effort I've put in so far?"

"The girl is more useful to me as she is."

"I wouldn't have thought you'd reverse course on that."

"I've already made good use of her, and her recent declaration gives me a golden opportunity to do so again. Do not go out in costume until I give the order Tattletale. I have a new job for you…"