Chapter Text
Contrary to Ann’s deepest wishes, the addition of Sabo to their little family did not change a single thing. Well, it did, because now Ann had more work to do thanks to the new chaotic dynamic. Now she needed to make it up not only for one troublemaker but for three. Gosh, she was tired.
As usual, the boys left early in the morning to go hunting and whatever other irresponsible ideas their brains could manage to think of. She was happy Luffy was so talkative, because thanks to that she got to know their daily routine : train in the forest, hunt down the dinner, avoid Bluejam and his men while searching for new treasures in Gray Terminal… And apparently, go to the city to eat some ramen.
“It’s delicious! It’s so tasty and hot and the meat is super good!”
Ann forced a smile and continued sweeping the floor.
“Sounds good. I’m sure it was a great day you guys had. Ramen must be way better than the bland rice and burnt meat we had here yesterday for lunch.”
Sabo made a face, confirming that he was the only one with a little perception out of the three idiots. Both he and Ace had their arms full with wood meant to feed the house’s fire. Apparently, everyone and everything but her was having great meals.
“We will probably go again tomorrow, if you want to come,” said the blond boy with a shy smile.
“Yes! Ann, you have to come, it’s so good! And if you come we will be a taller guy!” Ann decided to ignore whatever that could mean and continued with her chores until a voice on her back made her stop. “Leave her, Luffy. Little miss perfect will never do something bad or funny, she’s too busy doing what others tell her to do.”
Maybe it was the mockery in Ace’s words, or the fact that they were a blatant truth, but the stick of the broom landed on the boy’s head. Ace complained with a loud shout but Ann had already taken the laundry basket and gone outdoors, trying to convince herself that it wasn’t a big deal. She was a grown up girl, she could handle rejection very well.
Everything stayed the same. Everyday, Luffy came with a new adventure to tell her while she peeled the potatoes for dinner : the new treasure they found at the dumpster, how stupid were the guards who couldn’t catch them, the fact that Sabo was a noble on the run from his abusive parents… At some point, she stopped asking. Sadly, she didn’t stop caring. It didn’t stop hurting.
The last nail to the coffin was the night Luffy proudly announced he, Sabo and Ace had become sworn brothers by sharing a cup of sake, like pirates did. Ann didn’t remember well that night, she didn’t realize the worried look from Sabo nor the happy comment Luffy made about how, since she was Ace’ sister, now she was also theirs. Ann finished her bowl of rice in silence and disappeared upstairs, taking advantage of the chaos that erupted when Dadan started screaming at the boys for taking her alcohol for their stupid childish games. When Ann woke up the next morning, the pillow was still humid.
Weeks passed and one day, while Ann was sweeping the front door, she saw a young lady and a short man emerge from the woods. She grabbed the broom as if it was a lifeline, nervous about the unexpected visitors.
“Makino!” Luffy ran past her to the lady’s arms, who knelt down to return the boy’s hug with a wide, tender smile. Ann has never seen someone so pretty.
Apparently, the nice lady worked in the tavern where Luffy spent his time when he lived in Foosha village. The short man was the maior. They were worried about Luffy and had come with some food and clothes for him. For them. Sabo was the second to get closer, when the lady called the hiding children to join them. Ace stayed at the doorframe, looking with fake disinterest, as if he didn’t know how to properly act. Ann felt the same.
“Come on, you two. Don’t be shy”. Her voice felt like a cloud, soft and pure and unreachable. Ann shared a look with her brother and, finally, both twins walked to the group. Luffy and Sabo were admiring their new t-shirts. The lady took another one and handed it to Ace. “Here you have, little gentleman. Try it on and let’s see if it’s your size or if we need to make some adjustments.”
Ace couldn’t hide the blush that painted his cheeks, which made Luffy and Sabo laugh, which made Ace yell at them.
Ann realized then that the nice lady had callous hands, fingers rough and dry. She has callous hands because she works, like Ann, but she’s pretty. Maybe I can be pretty too?
Just as if she could read her thoughts, the lady looked briefly at Ann before turning to the basket. “I heard there was also a young lady here. I don’t know if you are into this but it’s good to have options.”
Her eyes widened as the lady took the most beautiful dress Ann has seen in her life out of the basket. It was a long, blue and white striped sundress with frills decorating the neck. The girl didn’t realize she was holding her breath. A warm wave of happiness ran through her heart.
“It’s a bit old but I think it should be your size. Do you want to try it?”
Ann was out of words, of breath, of her mind. She looked at the lady as if she was an angel who came to save her from the pain and the sadness. Carefully, as if it would vanish, Ann let her callous fingers touch the fabric. It was so soft.
“Is this… For me?”
She only got a gentle laugh for an answer. Then, the woman helped the still shocked girl to put on the dress over her clothes. Before measuring, adjusting and deciding any needed change, the woman let Ann a few moments to enjoy her new dress. The girl ran inside the house to look at her reflection in the dirty surface of a pot: it was beautiful. She was beautiful.
Laughing and spinning, she came back to the boys and started to pose. The dress was so long that Ann had to take the sides of the skirt to avoid the ends getting dirty.
“What do you think? How do I look?”
“You are so pretty!” Said Sabo with a smile. Luffy agreed with him. “You look like a princess! Right, Ace?” Ace spared her a quick glance. It looked like he wanted to make his usual sarcastic remark but something in his sister’s expression made him stop.
Ann blushed, laughed, looked at her dress and started to spin. That was probably how Luffy felt about his hat. His treasure. Her treasure. The smiles and cheering from the boys, the way they looked happy for her, made Ann wonder that maybe she still had a place with them. Maybe I’m not meant to be alone forever.
Sadly, she had to let it go. Makino reassured her with promises of coming back with the dress to fit her, and she did. When Ann put on the dress again some weeks later, it fit her perfectly. Screw the marines, the pirates and the bandits, I’m going to run the tavern with the nice lady.
Ann spent a whole week with her new treasure. She was scared it would get ripped or dirty so she only wore it for dinner. She worked harder than ever before, cleaned, cooked and every night before dinner, she took a bath, removed all the impurities of her body and put on her dear dress. Before bed, she would lay it on a safe place. She has never felt happier. She even started to take more care of her hair. Luffy was right, dreams could come true.
That fatal night was no different from the others.
Ann had been so happy lately that she managed to convince Dadan to let her try a new recipe Makino had given her. A stew. Simple dish, just meat, vegetables, water, some herbal plants to add a bit of taste and a big pot. The girl finished her chores earlier and right after cleaning the kitchen after lunch, she started cooking. She was so excited to tell Makino about it. Maybe she could also cook it for one of Garp’s visits. Her grandfather always praised her when she did something right. She liked when people liked the things she did.
The end of the day arrived and with it, the whole gang. Dadan was drinking, as usual. The bandits were scattered on the floor, mouths drooling at the sight and smell of the food. Magra was beside Ann, watching curiously how the girl stirred the stew with a smile.
That's when boys arrived making their usual fuss.
“Wait!”
“Ha, you can’t catch me!”
“Gomu gomu no pistol!”
“Hey, no weird powers!”
With their usual carelessness, the boys ran around the room, fighting, playing, dodging poor Luffy’s attempts to land a punch. It was the same as every night except for one tiny detail: the boiling pot.
Ace had gotten himself in front of the cooking spot and, with a mischievous smirk and his goddam animal reflexes, he ducked before Luffy’s fist could touch him. Instead, it landed directly into the pot. Despite the huge number of people in the room, no one reacted quickly enough to avoid the tragedy, and the pot spilled its entire contents onto Ann’s dress before rolling onto the floor.
Everyone stilled for some seconds, watching the remains of the pot be eaten by Pochi. Then, everything erupted. Some bandits exhaled a pained moan, others scolded the boys loudly, a couple tried to sneak some meat and potatoes from the almost empty pot.
Ann stood there, silent, frozen, with a lost look that went from the lost stew to her dress. She didn’t register Magra’s worry or Dadan’ shouts. She didn't register the pain from the burn on her leg. She just stood there.
“No! Our dinner!”
“Stupid kids, now what are we going to eat?”
“It smelled so good…”
Almost all of the presents have gathered around the pot, including the child trio. Luffy looked like he was about to start crying, Sabo was throwing some worried glances to Ann and Ace…
“You guys are overreacting.” He said with a disinterested look. “And why are we even eating that? Meat is great without any extra. We don’t need a pretended fancy dinner as if we were some kind of…”
Whatever he was about to say was buried under Ann’s punches. The girl ran to his brother and knocked him down. She punched, pulled his hair and yelled. A lot.
“You idiot! You stupid selfish idiot!” The girl cried. She had never yelled so loud. Her fists collided with Ace’s arms that the boy had raised to protect his face from his sister’s fury. “Why do you always have to ruin everything?!”
“Ann, stop!”
Strong arms pulled her apart from her brother, but she continued punching, kicking and yelling. She was blinded by rage, pain and the tears that soon started to wet her face. Her feet hit Magra’s legs but the big man didn’t seem to care.
“It’s your fault! Everything is your fault! You always ruin EVERYTHING!”
“Ann, enough!”
“You are always taking everything and everyone from me! You took grandpa, Sabo, Luffy and now you take my dress too? Why? You are a stupid selfish bastard who doesn’t deserve anyone!”
“Ann, stop right now!”
“FATHER IS NOT THE REASON THE WORLD HATES US, YOU ARE!”
The slap echoed in the room. Everyone shut up and looked with shock at Dadan, who breathed agitatedly while looking at the girl. Ann turned her head slowly, her cheek red from the hit, and looked into Dadan’s eyes.
“Why?” It was such a weak whisper that no one could have heard it if it wasn’t for the gelid silence of the room. “I’m always good. I always do what you want. I clean and cook and clean and clean and I never complain about anything. Ace is always causing trouble, he’s always doing what he wants, he makes you mad. You hate him and you still choose him? Why? It's not fair…”
Ann’s voice was tainted with her tears, her sobs making her words barely audible. Magra’s hands released her right before she started to shout again.
“I hate this! I hate cleaning, I hate this stupid place and I hate you! I hate you all!”
With those words, she ran out of the house into the dark of the forest.
*
Ann ran faster than ever. The branches stabbed her legs and arms, the stones hit her feet and the cold embraced her like a deadly blanket. She didn't stop running until she knew she reached the beach. Mt Colubo was closer to the sea than Ann first thought. She used to see it from a distance, a wide beautiful blue painting. Now, at the start of the night, it was dyed red. Red like Ace’s t-shirt. Like the stain on her dress. Like the blood coming from his wounded nose. Like her blurry eyes.
Ann cried, sad, angry, frustrated, pained. Too many big emotions for such a little girl. She sat down on the sand and hid her face between her knees. Her head felt as if it was being crushed by an invisible force. Her throat felt as if it was going to rip any moment now. Her heart felt as if it was going to pop out of her chest. Everything hurted.
The sun melted behind the horizon and everything was covered with the dark of the night. The void of the ocean seemed to devour all of her feelings, leaving her with nothing but tiredness. Watching the calm blanket in front of her, Ann felt weirdly calm. Empty.
The only sound was the lullaby from the waves that soon reached her feet. The water was cold. Ann stood up and walked into the sea until she was covered up to her knees. She took the skirt of her dress and started to rub it, in a childish attempt to clean the dark spot on it, to repair what had been destroyed that night. The stain remained.
With a defeated sigh, Ann turned around to get out of the water when she felt something hit her leg. Curious, her eyes looked down to a strange fruit floating on the quiet waves. Her stomach decided to remind her, with an embarrassing growl, that she hadn’t eaten anything since noon. The little girl took the fruit with both hands and without much thinking, she bit it.
It tasted horrible.
However, knowing that could probably become her only food source for the rest of the night, Ann continued eating. She was in no position to be picky. Every bite felt like torture, the fruit was bitter, maybe even rotten, but Ann didn’t stop. For some reason, she couldn’t stop. Why was she hurting herself like that? What was she punishing herself for? She blamed it on the fading hunger.
When she was done, she came back to her spot on the sand and lay down. The ocean was completely black. Annn felt a monster would come out from it at any moment. She curled up and closed her eyes, praying the night would take away the sour taste of her mouth and heart.
She woke up next morning with a sore body from the hardness of the ground, itchy from the sand and with that stupid disagreeable taste on her mouth. Her stomach complained loudly and Ann grunted with it. A part of her wanted to stay on the bank until the tide took her away to the depths of the sea, hiding her from the pain, the regrets and the loneliness. Her stomach had other plans.
She stood up, gave a last glimpse to the deep blue and started walking towards the mountain. A shiver crossed her body like a knife. Maybe sleeping while having half of my body wet wasn’t the smartest idea. She walked faster to regain some heat before reaching the forest. Her chances of catching something edible were higher on the lake than on the sea, at least that was the excuse she gave herself to the fact that she was dangerously close to her… To their home. She swore she could hear Luffy’s joyful voice.
Ann had never liked the forest, mostly due to the huge creatures that lived in there. Contrary to the idiot trio, she had self-preservation instincts, so she knew how to avoid trouble when she ran into a boar, a lion, a boar as big as a lion, or the damn evil tiger. Of course it had to be drinking water from the lake, of course it saw Ann, and of course her luck was non-existent because the stupid feline just decided to attack. Ann had done nothing to it, and yet it wanted to hurt her. Just like the rest of the world. Just like her family.
And just like last night, she took the blow.
The lake’s water was warmer than the sea’s, yet it felt… Heavier. Like it ate all her strength. Ann tried to move her arms, to start swimming. To fight to live. But she was tired. If the bottom wanted to claim her, who was she to refuse? Maybe it was for the best. She didn’t have a home to return to so… Yeah, it would be fine.
They don’t need me. They don’t want me. They don’t love me. At least not anymore. It's okey. Sabo and Luffy will be fine, they have Ace. All of them have Ace. They don't need me. No one does.
Her lungs started to burn, her body instinctively tried to save her, but an invisible force seemed to have chained her to a dark future. The world started to close around her, and small dots of light appeared in front of her, like snowflakes. She liked the snow. It was a nice last thing to see. She wondered how someone could feel so scared and yet so calm. Embraced by the cold and the darkness, the fear and the relief, Ann closed her eyes…
…and she didn’t open them until she heard his voice.
Ace’s voice.
“Ann! Wake up! Please, please wake up. I’m older, I was born first, so you are not allowed to die before me! Ann!”
Ace’s voice felt so distant, maybe because it was a dream. A beautiful dream. Her brother loving her. Yeah, that felt nice. A rhythmic pressure began to hit her chest. Weren’t dreams supposed to be harmless?
“Ann, please…” the pressure stopped. Now Ace was further. She could barely hear him. “Please… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You were right. It’s me, I’m the problem, I’ve always been the fucking problem. Everyone loves you, every single person we meet falls for you because you are that good. You are nice and kind and well-behaved and of course everyone would love you. I’m the one who always ruins everything.”
A drop fell on her cheek. Tiny, like a tear. Oh, that explained the weird noises. Ace was sobbing. Her brother was crying. For her.
“Please…” he said in a desperate whisper. “I need you.”
Like magic words, that plea reanimated the lifeless girl. She started to cough, hard, trying to eject all the water that had tried to eat her from the inside. Ann felt warm hands on her back, helping her to a better position. Her throat hurt. She felt like dying. However, the hands rocking her back and the words comforting her heart took her life back to her.
“Ace…” she managed to mumble. Ace’s face was covered with worry and terror. With a tired and regretful smile, she added “I’m sorry…”
Ann had seen her brother cry multiple times, in spite of the little boy’s pride, but you needed something very important to take some tears from him, a very specific kind of pain. It was weird, his eyes were not made to hold tears. She tried to weep them. She couldn’t, because the warm hand trapped her in a very needed hug.
Between sobs, apologies and explanations, the twins lost track of the time. By the time they left the surroundings of the lake, it was already noon. They started to walk back home, Ace leading, Ann behind. It was like it has always been, except for the fact that Ace’s hand held Ann’s with fierce protectiveness.
Ace, let’s promise something. Just the two of us. No matter what, when or where, we will always love and need each other. Until the end of our lives. Maybe a pinky promise was too childish for such a serious vow but what the heck, they were kids.
“Hey, I was thinking, how the hell did you almost drown? You are not the worst swimmer.”
“First of all, rude. Second, I don’t know. I just couldn’t swim. It was like the water took away my strength.”
“Weird, sounds like Luffy. But you didn’t eat a weird fruit that appeared out of nowhere, did you?”
The silence was so loud Ace turned around to see her sister’s face, pale with realisation.
“Ann, you didn’t eat a weird fruit that appeared out of nowhere, did you?”
“...”
At the tender age of ten, Portgas D. Ann decided she hated the world as much as it seemed to hate her.