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First of all, thank you so much for all the support. I literally wrote this out of fun and because I was bored during winter break. This story is also my first fic ever. The feedback, all the kudos and comments surprises me every single day because to me the story is not even that great to be honest but I guess you guys really like it. Right now this fic already has more than 550 kudos and hit more than 14000 views. I am overwhelmed. Really appreciate you guys. I truly am. Wish that I could reach out to every single one of you but I guess I can only do that through writing this fic. So thanks again guys you are THE BEST.
So I've been having some comments in the past chapters that I want to clear things out (again). So I'm going to break these questions down one by one. If you guys like the fic and decide to stay with me on this crazy roller coaster ride, I'd love to provide you the story. If you don't, well I'm really sorry. I can't please all of you and like I said again, your safety comes first because I care about all of you. If you feel unsafe, triggered or just somehow is disturbed by the story, I suggest you find another fic to read. There are so many great great Clexa fics that is so much better than mine. I'm not an excellent writer, nor my English is perfect because it's not my first language, this is also my first fic and I've never had an experience of writing for fun before (except for school). So I can guarantee you not everything in this fic would be perfect. I know there are many many mistakes and I constantly went back and fixed them when I had the chance. This is purely fiction and just serves for entertainment purposes. Honestly guys please don't take this too serious.
So... To the questions:
1) A reader were talking about how the sex scene last chapter and the relationship between Clexa in common was toxic, that there are no love or free will involved, there is only manipulation.
This is sex scene truly a dub-con scene since Clarke still have doubts about her decision to have sex with Lexa. I need you guys to understand this. In this scene Lexa did most of the work and Clarke is just... there. She is not the one that starts all the action, it's Lexa.
Clarke is very inexperienced, but she DID give consent. So Lexa is NOT manipulating Clarke herself, she respects Clarke and her consent. Lexa even asked many times if she should continue or not. So this manipulation is not directly from Lexa,but rather Clarke being manipulated by her own mind and conflicted with herself on the sex. Clarke was the one who seduces Lexa at first anyways. It was also stated that Clarke clearly had a choice to say no, but she said yes. I did some research before writing this chapter and the legal consent age in Colorado is 17 so they didn't do anything illegal. This is not statutory rape. (The Colorado location explanation will be in the next chapter when Clarke accidentally found out that they are in fact in Colorado.) There are some feelings in this scene, but most of them are confusions. This is not necessarily a bad thing, since they have to have this awkward phase first in order to realize their true feelings and be comfortable around each other and during sex. True that this moment is not completely healthy (it's really not), but it's not actually toxic either. It's more of like confusions from both sides that lead to a weird situation. This is why this scene was really hard to write for me as I struggled so much to find that weird dynamic and explaining it.
2) Another reader were talking about how this sex scene was unrealistic, that there were not enough foreplay and they just orgasm in like 2 minutes. Females don't typically orgasm that fast.
Okay about this. I understand that some of you might not feel satisfied with the smut. Please note, this is my FIRST time writing smut. I've had sex and knows how it works and how women's anatomy work, since I am one myself. I just never wrote it before. Since this is a fic that I wrote for fun I don't really tend to overthink about it, I just let it flows out. Sometimes what I imagine in my head is different than what I describe. The timeline that I described was also pretty clear about foreplay though. There was a line that said something about how they spend a good amount of time making out, touching each other and groping. So I mean that sound like foreplay to me. This chapter was literally written at 1am on a school night lol so I wasn't even that awake to be honest. I wanted to deliver it to you guys on time since I kept promising so I had to actually stayed up and wrote it. It doesn't just appeared out of nowhere. I'm a senior and very busy with everything. I could choose to leave this fic hanging until I have another break. But since a lot of you guys are so great I've decided to go against everything and continued this. Also this story is focused more on the dynamics of the characters, not the smut. There will be smut (not too much but not too little at the same time). So I good amount of smut. But it's not smut fic. There are so many better Clexa smut out there that you guys could read. But if you're coming here just looking for the smut, I'm sorry to say I might disappoint you. This doesn't mean my "smut writing skills won't get better, it would probably will. But right now that's all I can deliver I guess.
3) Is this slow burn?
I mean it is and it's not at the same time. At about chapter 15 (if things go as I planned, they will start realizing their feelings for each other. But it's not going to be like "yay we got together, the end, so happy bla bla bla". Our characters (main or not) will go through conflicts, troubles that they have to overcome to reach happiness. I already said since the start that this is NOT a sunshine and rainbow fic. So I guess all I can say is it's a medium burn.
Honestly I hate to keep explaining myself because it just takes so much time and work but I want all of you to understand where I'm going with this so you can stay or simply go. Everyone's safety is in my best interest and as long as we are all agree on this, we're good!
All compliments and criticizes can go through me, as I'm full responsible of the content of this story and will explain myself or fix my mistakes if I have to.
For the readers that left these comments, honestly truly no hard feelings or anything like that towards you guys. I'm just trying to explain my perspective, and you can agree or not. But please don't think I made this for backlash on you guys or anything like that. I'm very open minded to your thoughts and don't have anything against you.
PS: reach out to me through dms on tumblr @strikheda if you want to talk more about the dynamics in this story. I'd love to talk to all of you and get to know you.
-J.Asher