Chapter Text
Harry woke up to Eggsy kissing his chest again.
It was still dark, though it took Harry a few moments to become aware of even that much. He threaded his fingers through Eggsy’s hair.
“I’m getting hungry,” Eggsy said without prompting.
He sounded so very young in that moment. Harry waited to feel disgusted with himself, but he felt only lucky, so very lucky, to be here now. “I sincerely hope you mean for food this time,” he said.
“Since you mention it-” Eggsy pressed a final kiss to Harry’s chest and slowly sat up- “I guess maybe I do.”
Harry lay there for another moment or two and then glanced over at the clock glowing on the bedside table. Almost four in the morning. Harry hadn’t slept so long or so well since what happened in the church- possibly since the last time he had Eggsy in his arms. Harry felt heat blossoming in his chest and caught Eggsy’s face in both hands, kissing him. It was hard to pull away after that, but eventually Harry did. “We should go downstairs and eat. And you should put something on.”
“You expect me to dress for dinner?” Eggsy asked. He stretched out across Harry’s bed in a way that made no a terribly tempting option.
“I’m not suggesting a black tie affair,” Harry replied. “But in case there’s splatter you ought to put something on. I shouldn’t like to send you back to Lancelot damaged.”
Eggsy snorted, but said, “Fair enough.” He fished around the side of the bed, finding and pulling Harry’s shirt on. He swam in it. He rolled the cuffs up to his elbows- all that extra fabric looked absurd- and the hem hung low on his thighs. Harry padded to his closet and tossed Eggsy a pair of pants. Those at least would fit him reasonably well- if he didn’t move too much.
He still looked faintly ridiculous, or at least he would have if his well-built legs and exposed forearms weren’t so gorgeous.
Harry ducked into a t-shirt and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms. Then he stretched out a hand to Eggsy.
“Come along,” he said.
Eggsy grinned and let Harry tug him downstairs.
Eggsy slowed down when they reached the kitchen, looking around himself. “This ain’t really how I pictured it, you know.”
“What did you picture?”
“Well, I didn’t expect such a nice kitchen, for one thing. What d’you do with it?”
“Very little,” Harry admitted as he went through his cupboards, seeing what he had. “The house came pre-furnished, and there’s a maid who keeps the place clean and stocks the kitchen. I’ve never put it to much use, I admit. I did think of you and try a little cooking or twice, though.”
“How did it go?” Eggsy asked, leaning against the counter.
“Badly,” Harry admitted. “I couldn’t bring myself to care about any of it, not when I couldn’t share it with you.”
Eggsy made a soft sound and pulled Harry down for another kiss.
Harry smiled against his mouth. “It’s worth a try now though, isn’t it?” He drew away from Eggsy to grab the cookbook he had bought and opened only a few times before the knowledge that Eggsy would never laughingly ask him what a cooking tool was for again had overwhelmed him completely.
Eggsy peered over Harry’s shoulder and pointed out a recipe that Harry had had his eye on ever since the first time he looked through it- a simple pasta sauce meant to be ready in the time it took to cook the pasta.
Harry frowned at him, then at the clock over the stove. “It’s closer to breakfast than dinner, you know.”
Eggsy snorted again. “It’s still dark, and if it’s still dark it’s still night. We can make dinner if we want to.”
“Impeccable logic.”
“Thank you.” Eggsy flipped to the recipe in question and read it over, nodding. “Seems like even you could pull this off- though you should probably let me do most of the work, just to be safe.”
Harry shoved him lightly and Eggsy laughed, going to the refrigerator for ingredients while Harry tracked down a pan.
It took him three tries to find the right one. The first time, it was an honest mistake. The second, Harry did it to make Eggsy laugh again. The third, Harry knew that Eggsy was on to him, but he didn’t care.
How could he, when no one had ever looked so fond of him in his life?
Eggsy started to lay ingredients out on the counter. “I sort of hate you for having all this lying around all the time and never using it.”
“If it’s any consolation, I’m sure the fridge stood empty while I was on missions.” Harry set up the pot and turned on the burner to boil the water, adding a little salt.
“It’s not,” Eggsy told him. “You’re lucky I love you so much.” He kissed the back of Harry’s neck softly.
“Yes,” Harry said. Eggsy could say that multiple times a day forever and it would still be true.
Eggsy put Harry to work chopping herbs, and the quiet between them was comfortable, warm. Harry loved the ease with which he and Eggsy moved around each other still. He fancied it would be incredible when they were finally able to use it in the field instead of the training yard.
He glanced Eggsy’s way and fought the urge to stare. Eggsy looked so beautiful in the low light of the stove. The chain around his neck had slipped out from underneath Harry’s shirt. The ring gleamed.
As Harry passed over the herbs he had chopped, he caught the chain with light fingers. “Do you always wear this?” he asked.
Eggsy shook his head. He stirred what he was cooking and set a timer for the pasta. “Not really. I did for a while though- to remind me of you.”
Harry’s gut turned over at the bittersweet look on Eggsy’s face. At the thought of him keeping that ring close to his heart even when he thought Harry might never come back.
“Once I was a candidate, the others sorta gave me shit about it.” Harry straightened up and Eggsy laughed. “It’s nothing I can’t handle- the worst ones are weeded out now anyway. The only two left- they’ve actually got to be my friends, you know? But they did needle me about being promised and shit and it… well, it didn’t feel so good when I wasn’t sure where I stood with you.”
Harry wrapped his arms around Eggsy’s waist and pressed his face into Eggsy’s shoulder. “You could have known at any time,” he pointed out gently. Lord knew, Harry understood what it was to make stupid decisions for what felt like the right reasons- only to discover later that not only were they wrong, they came from some other source entirely. But it felt good to tease Eggsy about it a little- to know that he could.
Eggsy elbowed him lightly. “I know. Guess it don’t matter now.” He went back to cooking. “Anyway, I only wear it once in a while. It’s really just luck I had it on that day.”
“And you wore it tonight for effect, did you?”
“Something like that.” Eggsy made a thoughtful noise and checked the timer. “Put the colander in the sink, would you?”
Harry frowned, and Eggsy pointed, his smile so incredibly sweet. Harry found the object in question, still pondering the chain around Eggsy’s neck. What it was- and what it wasn’t. “Why didn’t you ever wear it while we knew each other?” Harry asked. “The medal, I mean.”
“I didn’t wear it while I was working because people tended to ask questions about it- questions that kinda ruined the mood.”
“I see.” Harry helped him drain the pasta.
“By the time we started renting that flat above the club it was just habit, so I didn’t wear it even though I knew we probably weren’t gonna fuck. And when I got dressed in that suit for the gala… and I realized I’d never worn it at all when we were together… I got this idea that it’d be bad luck if I had it on, so I didn’t.” Eggsy’s smile was wry. “That’s what fucked everything up, isn’t it?”
“Eggsy,” Harry sighed. He brought the drained pasta back to the stove and kissed Eggsy soundly. “I think it’s very safe to say that I am what fucked everything up. I’d like to imagine that if I had been looking at you when I realized who you were, I would have talked to you instead of running like a coward. I’d like to think we could have sorted it all out. But whether it would have made things better or not if I saw that medal around your neck that night, my actions are on me, not you.”
“You weren’t that bad, Harry,” Eggsy protested. “If it wasn’t for the coma and the getting shot in the head, I know we woulda-”
“Well, those things did happen. I’d love it if you’d let me apologize for them.” He had apologized earlier, of course- but it didn’t seem like he’d said it enough. And Eggsy forgave so easily- and though Harry intended to take advantage of it to a certain extent, some things had to be done.
Eggsy snorted out a tiny laugh. “Yeah, okay. As long as you don’t push me away again.”
“Never,” Harry promised. He kissed the side of Eggsy’s face softly. “I’m so very sorry. And I love you.”
“Sap,” Eggsy said. He was smiling as he poured the pasta into his sauce and tossed it. “Love you too, yeah?”
“Yes,” Harry managed. It didn’t seem like he’d heard that enough.
Eggsy produced a fork and twisted some pasta around it. He blew on it gently and then he brought it Harry’s mouth. “Taste.”
Harry opened, letting Eggsy feed him. “It’s good,” he told him. And it was- a wonderful balance of flavors or whatever people who understood these things normally said. Harry hardly cared. It could have been dreadful and he wouldn’t have cared as long as it was Eggsy giving it to him.
Eggsy beamed. “Good,” he said. “Because- what was it you said? ‘I’m not letting you go again, not for anything. You’ll have to drive me away.’”
Harry kissed him, hard and deep, and when he drew away Eggsy’s eyes were wide and nearly black.
“Take me to bed,” he said.
Harry growled at him. “Not until we’ve eaten this very fine dinner I won’t.”
Eggsy pouted but obeyed. He poured the pasta into a single bowl and they ate leaning against the counter with their shoulders touching instead of at the table. The light in Eggsy’s eyes suggested that he intended to still have his way as soon as possible, and he kept feeding bites to Harry.
As he twirled the strands around the fork, as he lifted it to Harry’s lips, as he drew back again and repeated the process all over again, he never seemed to take his eyes off Harry. Though he had never thought of spaghetti as a particularly sensual foodstuff, Harry had to admit that after only a few bites he wanted nothing more than to do as Eggsy asked and take him to bed.
He decided to get some of his own back that way, but he was apparently nowhere near as good at pasta as Eggsy was because it flopped off the fork and hit Eggsy’s lips and chin more than the inside of his mouth.
Harry gave good manners up as a bad job and raised a hand to catch it. Eggsy seemed entirely satisfied with this turn of events and licked every last bit of sauce off Harry’s fingers.
“Finger food next time,” Eggsy said.
Harry’s fingertips lingered on Eggsy lower lip- and he nodded, rapt, as Eggsy kissed the pad of his thumb.
Eggsy fed him another bite. “It’s your turn to explain, you know.”
Harry chewed and swallowed. “Explain what?” He couldn’t help it if he sounded a little wary. Not of Eggsy- of himself. He thought he had said most of what needed saying at this point. What had he missed now?
“Would you really have quit for me?” Eggsy asked.
Harry blinked, a little surprised by the question. He set his fork down. “Yes, Eggsy. I’m not in the habit of saying such things for effect, truly. I still would, if you…” Harry remembered something that Eggsy had said to him a long time ago. “If you were worried the job and I couldn’t work something out.”
Eggsy’s eyes were wide.
“You were…” Harry hesitated. “You were thinking of us back when you said that, weren’t you? Thinking of us… being together?”
“Yeah, I was,” Eggsy said finally. “I wanted to be somebody you could come home to so much. But you know what I wanted way more than that? To be somebody you worked with too. I just… never thought I could until recently.”
“I wanted that too.”
Eggsy grinned, but he still looked a tiny bit uncertain. “Did you really think there was any chance I stopped loving you?”
Harry shrugged and tried the pasta again. “Most of the time I was sure you were at least still attracted to me, but… well. I didn’t really know what you’d seen in me in the first place, and I hated myself for how I behaved after I found out who you were. I couldn’t think of any reason why you wouldn’t feel the same.” He finally managed to get it from the fork to Eggsy’s mouth without too much trouble. “I suppose I still wonder if you’re going to come to your senses and leave.”
Eggsy chewed and swallowed with all the warmth in the world in his eyes. “Silly,” he said with authority.
He tasted like butter and sage when Harry kissed him. “Now,” Harry said. “Let me take you to bed now.”
Eggsy glanced around the messy kitchen, his eyes glittering. “But what about all this?”
Harry threw the leftover food into the refrigerator. “The dishes can wait until morning.”
“But it is morning,” Eggsy said.
“If it’s dark it’s still night,” Harry reminded him.
“You make a good point,” Eggsy said, and laughed, and his smiling mouth felt so perfect when Harry kissed him again. “All right then. What are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know,” Harry replied. He tugged Eggsy up the stairs.
They were both still laughing when they reached Harry’s bedroom. Harry traced Eggsy’s grin with his lips. He liked it more and more with every taste.
Eggsy broke the kiss to pull Harry’s t-shirt over his head and then let Harry catch his mouth again. His hands slid over Harry’s biceps and across his back. Harry reached between them, unbuttoning Eggsy’s shirt (or rather his shirt, his shirt on Eggsy, and didn’t Harry love that thought) and his fingers fumbled a few times as Eggsy sucked on his tongue.
When Harry finally touched bare skin, Eggsy moaned. He drew away suddenly, and his crooked grin was the only warning Harry got before he dropped to his knees, smoothly pulling Harry’s pants down with him.
“Good trick,” Harry murmured.
Eggsy winked. “You ain’t seen nothing yet,” he said, and Harry believed him.
With so little time to get worked up- and relatively close to the last time- Harry was only half hard. Eggsy didn’t seem to mind. He used the opportunity to get more of Harry into his mouth faster than he probably could have otherwise. Eggsy sucked wetly, his tongue seeming to be everywhere at once, and the noise that he made when Harry got fully hard was practically inhuman.
Eggsy’s mouth was soft and hot- and Harry leaned back in the doorway, letting Eggsy do as he liked with him for as long as he could bear. At last he reached out, fingers winding carefully through Eggsy’s hair. “You might want to stop,” he said, pleased by how even his voice sounded.
Eggsy pulled off with a wet pop and pouted a little. With his lips red and slick, he made one of the prettiest pictures Harry had ever seen. “How come?”
“Otherwise, I’m going to come much sooner than you probably intend,” Harry said. That time his voice cracked.
Eggsy looked delighted. “Again?” He nuzzled Harry’s cock. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”
“Is it?” Harry asked.
Eggsy seemed to consider for a moment, then he shook his head slowly. He was still smirking, but the expression softened into something sweeter, more hesitant. “There is something I want…” he started but never finished.
Harry tugged lightly on his hair.
“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Eggsy asked.
“It’s probably safe to say that I did- but may I ask what you mean specifically?”
Eggsy smile widened, but he still looked a bit uncertain. “When you said I could tie you up.”
Harry’s knee-jerk response was yes, of course- but he supposed Eggsy deserved him to at least think about it seriously before giving his answer. Harry could remind Eggsy that he had had just about everything under the sun done to him at one point or another in his life- and while he didn’t necessarily love being immobilized he didn’t dislike it either. With anyone else, he might have done just that.
But this was Eggsy, who despite being half Harry’s age could probably say the same. His appreciation of how little I don’t object could actually mean was probably vaster than that of the average person.
Eggsy seemed pleased that Harry was actually thinking about it- but Harry could still see an uncertain look in his eyes.
Eggsy said, “I want you to know that it wouldn’t always be like this. I loved it the first time. I wanna do it again. I wanna do everything with you. I just- I need-” he broke off, looking frustrated.
“I understand,” Harry said, because he did. After everything that happened, of course Eggsy would need a physical reminder that Harry really was his. And it wasn’t so odd that he might settle on this as his method. After all the choices Harry had made for both of them, of course he wanted to take back control in some way.
And Harry- well, Harry had to consider that. Especially after what happened in the church, it wouldn’t have been too odd if Harry didn’t want to surrender control. And as much as Harry wished Eggsy hadn’t had to see that, he had, and therefore understood why it gave Harry reason to hesitate.
But it turned out that the idea of giving up control willingly this time- and putting himself entirely in Eggsy’s hands- was actually very appealing. Harry wouldn’t want it to always be that way either, but right then it sounded just about perfect.
“I meant it,” Harry said at last.
Eggsy beamed.
Harry cupped his cheek with a light hand and then pushed off the wall, heading into the bedroom. “I don’t exactly have the equipment for it,” he remarked. “But…” He went into his closet and produced two ties. He leaned against the closet doorway with them dangling from his hands. “What do you think?” he asked.
Eggsy’s tongued flickered out over his lips. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.” He swallowed heavily. “A lot.”
Harry smiled. “I thought it might be like that.”
He climbed onto the bed and Eggsy stripped off his pants and followed, kneeling at Harry’s side. One of the many things Eggsy had learned during the trials (a lesson that had come in handy once or twice for Harry in his time) was how to tie a colleague’s hands- for whatever reason he might need to- in a such way that he could work himself free without too much difficulty. That was how he bound Harry- and not tightly either. The ties were just a whisper of silk at Harry’s wrists. Symbolic, more than anything.
“All right?” Eggsy asked.
“Fine,” Harry said.
“And you’ll say if it isn’t?” Eggsy looked very serious- and he gave an exaggerated scowl when Harry just nodded his answer at first.
“Yes,” Harry said. “I absolutely will.”
Eggsy smiled and bent, pressing a kiss to Harry’s stomach.
“I suppose,” Harry started after a moment of silence, “that you have some sort of plan?”
Eggsy rested his chin on Harry’s stomach and gave him a hard look- but he didn’t tell Harry to be quiet either.
Right then Harry decided that he would be quiet when asked- but not until he was asked.
Eggsy didn’t seem to mind, not really. His eyes were shining so bright. “Yes,” he said. “As a matter of fact I do. Would you like to hear about it?”
“Please,” Harry hummed. He liked this. He felt… well, he felt like he would have anyway, most likely. As though he had given himself over, completely and forever.
“I’m gonna make you feel good,” Eggsy said, kissing Harry’s stomach again. “Well- I’m gonna make both of us feel good, but you aren’t gonna come until I say you can.”
“Don’t I recall you once making some very rude implications about my parents’ marital status when I waited for you tell me that?”
Eggsy’s mouth quirked and a flush rode high on his cheeks, but his voice didn’t waver. “That was then,” he said. “This is now. And now you don’t get to come until after I do. But you’re gonna tell me when you can’t take it no more, all right?”
There was something faintly reproving in his eyes, like he knew Harry was thinking of treating it like a competition. He wasn’t wrong about that- but Harry was sure that Eggsy could win if he set his mind to it. “I’ll tell you,” Harry promised.
Eggsy’s smile was slow and sweet. He crawled up and kissed Harry on the mouth, bracing his hands on either side of Harry’s head.
Eventually Eggsy lifted one of those hands and brought it up to cradle Harry’s jaw. With just a little prompting, Harry opened his mouth and let Eggsy lick inside.
He was so very talented with that tongue. Harry expected this to be just the first of many reminders.
He wasn’t wrong.
Eggsy had mapped out Harry’s body with great care and detail the night before- and it was obvious as he kissed down Harry's chest that he remembered every single thing he had learned. Everywhere Harry had always liked to be touched, and everywhere he hadn’t known- until Eggsy’s exhaustive exploration- did anything for him.
The warm, wet drag of Eggsy’s mouth was unbelievably sweet, playing over the scar tissue littering Harry’s torso, sucking at his nipples, and nipping at his hipbones.
“Have I mentioned how gorgeous you are?” Eggsy asked. “God. Wanted you so fucking much.”
He didn’t torment Harry long- or maybe that was exactly what he did. When his mouth found Harry’s cock again and Harry remembered the rules he had set, Harry thought the torment was actually only beginning.
It didn’t take long for Harry’s body to remember just how close to the edge he had been only a few minutes earlier. It didn’t take much longer for Eggsy to bring him closer still.
He started by just pulling the tip of Harry’s cock into his mouth and sucking at it relentlessly. It was wet, sloppy, prefect. Spit dripped down Harry’s length. Eggsy slid his tongue along the side, getting him wetter still. The air was cool against him, and then the inside of Eggsy’s mouth when he swallowed Harry down again- swallowed him deep- was so very hot in comparison.
Eggsy pulled Harry into his throat, swallowing around him. Harry’s hips bucked. Eggsy didn’t stop him; it was Harry’s job to stop himself.
“Eggsy,” Harry said when he couldn’t anymore. He genuinely didn’t know if he had been quiet all this time or not.
If not, Eggsy heard the difference in his voice at last and pulled off. “Yeah,” he said, voice beautifully rough and ragged. He drew back and retrieved the lube from the bedside table.
Harry thought about asking what he intended to do with that, but there was a quiet intensity in the air that Harry found himself reluctant to shatter- and anyway, he thought he already knew.
When Eggsy slicked his fingers and- getting up on his knees- reached behind himself, Harry knew that the torture was only just beginning after all.
Eggsy had chosen his placement well. It would take so little for him to turn around and give Harry a better- agonizing- view of exactly what he was doing, opening himself up with those soft and gorgeous fingers of his. It was hardly better for Harry to see only the curve of his body and the arch of his back- and the pleasure playing across his face.
It was agonizing all right- to look and not be able to touch. It would be fitting, perhaps, if it was this and not Eggsy’s mouth on him that broke Harry- but it wouldn’t be this. Harry wouldn’t let it be.
So he just lay there and watched. He wouldn’t let the desire to be the one touching Eggsy, the one pressing fingers inside him and opening him up, be what made him beg- but he wouldn’t take his eyes off of Eggsy either. The view might be painful, but it was also incredibly beautiful. Harry didn’t intend to miss a second of it.
Just as Harry’s eyes were fixed to Eggsy, Eggsy’s eyes were fixed to Harry. He saw every spasm of Harry’s hands and every twitch of Harry’s cock. And Harry let him see, knowing he must make a picture.
When he considered himself ready, Eggsy withdrew his fingers. The soft sigh that he gave made Harry itch to touch him even more.
Suddenly, Eggsy moved. He straddled Harry’s hips, and leaned down to kiss him. His lips didn’t seal quite properly and at first it was just a wet, tantalizing brush of tongue. Harry chased Eggsy’s mouth as far as his position would allow, and Eggsy eventually let Harry catch him and kiss him properly.
Harry could feel that smile still curving Eggsy’s lips beautifully upwards. Harry wasn’t sure he had ever liked feeling something under his mouth quite as much as that- and Eggsy certainly supplied a great deal of competition for himself on that score. Harry couldn’t wait to have Eggsy arrayed out in front of him again, but for now this was everything Harry hadn’t realized he needed.
Still smirking, Eggsy drew back a little.
He reached behind himself and stroked Harry’s cock a few times with his slick fingers before lifting himself up and getting into position. One disadvantage of his comparatively smaller hands was that- his skill in this area notwithstanding- Eggsy simply couldn’t prepare himself quite as thoroughly as Harry could have in his position.
He took his time, though- lowering himself onto Harry’s cock with aching slowness until he was finally fully seated on Harry’s thighs.
“All right?” Eggsy asked breathlessly when he finally went still.
“All right?” Harry repeated. All right wasn’t quite the word that Harry would have used. Being inside Eggsy was as perfect Harry remembered it being. Hot and tight and wonderful.
Eggsy bent and kissed him, slow and messy, and it was as though he was reading Harry’s mind when he murmured, “Feels so good,” against Harry’s lips.
“Yes,” Harry murmured, chasing his mouth again.
“Any time,” Eggsy told him, moving just a little on Harry’s cock. “You can ask any time.”
“Don’t think I’m not tempted,” Harry said, his breath coming shallowly. “But-”
“But?”
“But I don’t doubt for a moment that it will be worth the wait.”
Eggsy huffed out a laugh, rocking. “Just for that,” he breathed against Harry’s neck before pressing a light kiss there, “you can move if you want.”
Harry pressed up into him, forming a counterpoint to the deep, even pace at which Eggsy rode him. Something about it made it even harder to bear being unable to touch him, hold him, pull him close. The drag on Harry’s cock every time Eggsy moved up and the sweet, tight peace whenever he slid home again… it was intoxicating but it still wasn’t quite enough.
Eggsy kissed his lips a few more times and Harry managed to bury it in his mouth- but then Eggsy drew away again, sitting back.
“Please,” Harry sighed. “Please let me touch you.”
Eggsy’s smile was gentle as he sighed out, “Yeah. Yeah, of course.” He bent, kissing Harry again. For a few moments both of his hands cradled Harry’s face and then he reached out with one and then the other, beginning to undo the ties carefully.
Harry could have worked himself free once he had permission, but he wanted Eggsy to do it, wanted to not be able to touch him until he was good and ready to be touched.
When each of Harry’s hands was free Eggsy rubbed his wrists gently and then let go. Harry knew he had been right- so very right- that it was worth the wait. His hands came to rest against Eggsy’s biceps- and the smoothness of his skin under Harry’s palms was the sweetest Harry had ever known. Eggsy sighed against Harry’s neck, tightening around him. He felt it too.
Harry dragged his hands up Eggsy’s arms and worked his way to Eggsy’s shoulders and then down his back. Eggsy’s breath came labored. He pressed clumsy kisses to Harry’s collarbone. Harry kissed the side of his face in turn.
He slid his hands down to cup the curve of Eggsy’s arsecheeks and squeeze lightly.
Eggsy moaned softly and rocked against him. He had been so still for so long that both of them gasped at the sensation.
Pressing a final kiss to Harry’s collarbone, Eggsy sat back again, taking Harry deep. Harry rested one hand on his hip and lifted the other to his face. “Do you know that you’re the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen?” Harry’s thumb passed over Eggsy’s mouth, pressing against his lower lip and slipping inside a little.
Eggsy groaned, his cock jumping, and beads of pre-come landed on Harry’s stomach.
Harry dragged his hand down Eggsy’s jaw, his throat, his chest- and paused to let it rest over Eggsy’s heart. It was hammering. “Please,” Harry said again.
He remembered the rules; he couldn’t come until after Eggsy did- and whenever Eggsy moved at all Harry felt like he was about to burst.
More important than the rules, though, was the fact that Harry wanted to wait. No matter how many times he watched Eggsy’s face as he came, Harry would always want more. His fingers itched to wrap around Eggsy’s cock, to caress it, to bring him the relief he must have needed as much as Harry at that point.
Eggsy took a breath, let it out slow, and then said, “Yes.”
Harry didn’t need to be told twice. He just barely scrapped his knuckles down Eggsy’s stomach on his way there. It was electric when Harry’s fingers connected with Eggsy’s cock, when his thumb passed over the wetness gathering at the tip and used it to smooth the way as he worked down to Eggsy’s base and then back up to the head again.
From the way Eggsy pushed back up against his hand, he was no less affected. He threw his head back, barring a beautiful expanse of pale neck. Harry devoured it with his eyes and never once stopped touching him. Every move Eggsy made felt unbelievably good- but Harry was a lot more interested in watching the reactions that played across his body as Harry’s touch brought him closer to the edge.
Harry coupled a long drag of his fingers along Eggsy’s cock with a deep thrust into him.
Eggsy breathed, “Harry,” and that was all it took. He rocked into Harry’s grip once, twice, and come splattered all over Harry’s stomach.
He collapsed against Harry’s chest, panting, and Harry held onto him, running gentle hands through his hair and across his back, kissing his temple and forehead.
As he rallied, slowly, Eggsy traced patterns in his own come on Harry’s stomach. “Now,” Eggsy murmured. He tilted his head up, fixing Harry with a surprisingly fierce look. “I want you to use me.”
Harry nodded. He slid one hand down to Eggsy’s hip and wrapped the other around his back and cradled his head. Holding him tightly, Harry flipped them over so that he was lying on top of Eggsy and in between his spread legs.
Eggsy wrapped them around Harry tightly, holding onto him with light fervor, murmuring yes and come for me in Harry’s ear.
After only a few thrusts Harry did exactly that. He buried his face in the crook of Eggsy’s neck, pressed deep, and came.
It took Harry longer than usual to come back to himself after that. He found that Eggsy’s hands were stroking over his shoulders and that his own were running- shaking- through Eggsy’s hair still. Harry pressed up, still-damp come sliding between them, and found Eggsy’s lips to give him a long, slow kiss.
When it was over Harry drew away again, slipping carefully out of Eggsy. Eggsy slumped back against the pillow with a sigh.
Harry headed to the bathroom and got something to clean them both off with, taking his time about it when he returned to Eggsy's side. If nothing else, what they just did had certainly taught Harry to truly savor being able to touch Eggsy at his leisure. Every part of his soft skin felt so perfect under Harry’s hands.
Harry rested against him briefly and gave him another kiss. Eggsy opened under his lips without the slightest hesitation.
Running careful fingers through Eggsy’s hair, Harry murmured, “Go back to sleep, my darling." Eggsy obeyed, turning over under Harry’s hands. Harry pressed up against him for a while, just listening as Eggsy’s breathing slowly evened out.
Harry doubted he would get much more sleep that night, having become accustomed to so little. Once he was confident that Eggsy was sleeping, Harry kissed him softly and slipped out of bed, pulling on a dressing gown as he went.
Going through his usual morning routine with Eggsy sleeping peacefully in his bed felt as right as Harry had always been sure it would.
He knew that it wouldn’t always be as easy as it could be between them- but he thought he was also safe in assuming that it wouldn’t always be as hard. They had gone through more since they had known each other than Harry suspected many couples ever did. He told Eggsy that he wouldn’t let him go without a fight and he meant it. They were going to make this work; if the last few months had proven anything, it was that neither of them could bear it any other way.
And Eggsy had been right the night before- Harry lived a dangerous life. Eggsy would too, if he succeeded today- and even if he didn’t he would never be ordinary. It wasn’t an existence that lent itself to too much planning for the future. The only thing that really mattered- the only thing that Harry thought would really matter until the day he died- was that Eggsy never doubt how much Harry loved him again.
So Harry went downstairs, made himself some coffee, and read the newspaper. It was just like so many mornings Harry could recall- but the fact that Eggsy was up there, sleeping, happy… The knowledge that any time he wished Harry could go upstairs and kiss that boy awake… It was incredible.
Harry intended to let Eggsy sleep in, though. He kept one eye on the clock, approximating how long Eggsy would likely need to get ready- but of course Lancelot pre-empted him. He opened the door to find her on his doorstep with Eggsy’s training suit- pressed and clean- in her arms and a combative expression on her face.
She looked him up and down and said, “About Eggsy-”
He put up a hand. He didn’t doubt that Lancelot was a dangerous woman, but what Harry mostly felt when he saw the protective light in her eyes was warmth. Gratitude. “Before you go any further, let me say that I understand your desire to tell me that if I hurt Eggsy again you’ll kill me. Truly, if I ever do, I would expect nothing less.”
“Well,” she said, looking mollified. “That’s something, I suppose.”
Understanding reached, Harry stopped aside. “Come in. There’s coffee.”
She took a seat at his table and let him pour her a cup. “Where is he?” she asked when he delivered it.
“Still asleep. I’ll wake him.” Harry rested his hand on the suit she brought. “May I?”
Lancelot nodded. It was the closest Harry thought he was likely to get- for a while at least- to a benediction.
Harry lifted it up and made his way up the stairs, headed for the bedroom. There he perched at the edge of the bed. “Eggsy.” He touched Eggsy’s shoulder lightly. Eggsy had yet to lash out at him on waking, but he was careful all the same.
Eggsy woke gently though, murmuring, “Harry?”
“It’s time, dear one,” Harry told him.
Eggsy only had one eye open and an uncertain curl to his lip when he said, “Am I gonna walk-of-shame through the final test in yesterday’s clothes?”
Harry laughed. “No. Lancelot brought you something.” He patted the suit lying across his knees.
Eggsy perked up a bit more. “Rox is here?”
“She’s downstairs.”
“And you didn’t kill each other?”
“We… understand each other,” Harry said. “Anything beyond that will have to wait for now- but I think in time…”
Eggsy looked pleased, then uncertain. “If I fail…”
“I don’t believe you will- but if you do I won’t think less of you, and neither will Lancelot. You won’t lose her, or any of the other friends that you’ve made- and I know that you won’t lose me. Whatever happens today, things will never go back to the way they were.” He touched Eggsy’s hair lightly. “I’m so happy for you. And so glad of all the people who care for you.”
Eggsy pulled himself up suddenly, hugging Harry tight. “You think they aren’t people who care for you?”
“I don’t know what…” Harry started and stopped. None of them- not Merlin, not Pellinore, not Kay and the other knights who had done their part to get them to this point, not even Lancelot- would have done so much unless they wanted Harry to have this too. “Fair point,” he said a moment later.
“Harry,” Eggsy sighed out, vaguely reproving. “You are silly. I’m not the only one who loves you, you know.”
“And I love you,” Harry said, raising a hand to cradle the back of Eggsy’s head. “And them. And I just know how well you’ll do today.”
Somewhere along the way Harry really had stopped thinking that Eggsy wouldn’t pass the final test. Perhaps it wouldn’t be what Harry remembered it being. Kingsman was indeed changing; maybe the need for unthinking obedience had changed too. But whether the test was different or not, Harry had faith in Eggsy. He would find a way. He always did.
For a moment more, Eggsy pressed his face into the crook of Harry’s neck, inhaling. “You gonna still be here when I get finished?” Eggsy asked softly.
“I was actually thinking I might go in to work for a bit,” Harry replied. “But if I don’t see you there I would certainly like to see you back here again tonight. And for the foreseeable future, if you’re amenable.”
Eggsy had made what he was amenable to fairly clear. It was a joke more than anything- but what wasn’t a joke was how Harry’s mind kept drifting back to the ring he had stowed back in his desk after their last (though hopefully also first in a long line) mission together. The ring whose twin Harry could still see around Eggsy’s neck.
It was too early for marriage proposals- particularly when Harry considered how many hiccups there had been between their first meeting and today- but if all went well that mission really would be one in a long line. And Harry would finally be able to share his home with Eggsy- and one day soon he would offer to share his life too.
Eggsy pulled away, grinning. “What the hell do you think?” he asked.
Harry smiled back, letting him go reluctantly. “Shall I help you get dressed?” he asked.
Eggsy’s grin widened, his cheeks flushing faintly. “Why do I feel like that would be counterproductive?”
“Nonsense,” Harry said. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
Eggsy looked doubtful, but after a trip to the bathroom he allowed it all the same. He had done the pants himself by that time, but he let Harry do up his trousers and button and smooth his shirt, making sure everything was just so.
Harry wanted to touch him as much as possible for as long as possible; it seemed Eggsy wanted the same.
“How do I look?” Eggsy asked once Harry was finished.
“Stunning,” Harry informed him. The Kingsman training outfits were still ugly, but Eggsy- Eggsy would look beautiful whatever he wore. “Like a knight.”
Eggsy was grinning at Harry. He jerked his chin toward the stairs. “I’d better get down there, yeah?”
Harry nodded, but caught Eggsy’s hand at the last minute as he headed for the door. “Eggsy-”
“Yeah?” Eggsy said, turning.
Harry tugged on Eggsy’s hand- pulling him into his arms and into a soft kiss. Eggsy kissed him back, so tender and warm, and when Harry finally broke the kiss to press their foreheads together he was grinning delightedly. As if, Harry thought, that was everything he had ever hoped for. “Good luck, my darling,” Harry said, sliding his hands up to Eggsy’s chest.
Eggsy frowned. “Not coming downstairs to see me off?”
“Oh, I’ll see you off,” Harry growled. “But under your sponsor’s watchful eye I think I’ll have to refrain from doing this.” Harry kissed Eggsy again- as thoroughly as he was able. He wanted to curl his darling boy’s toes, wanted Eggsy to feel the ghost of his lips and taste him on his palate for hours after.
Eggsy clung to Harry’s shirtfront, and when Harry finally released him he whined: “How can you do a thing like that knowing I’m gonna hafta leave?”
“To remind you what you’re coming home to, of course,” Harry said.
Eggsy growled softly and shoved Harry against the wall- nipping at Harry’s lower lip and sucking it into his mouth, and then pressing little half kisses all over the corners of his lips, waiting for Harry to try to catch him before he pulled away.
Harry was breathless, and so much in love- but he still knew his line: “How can you do a thing like that knowing you have to leave?”
Eggsy’s eyes glinted. “To remind you why you’re waiting,” he replied.
* * *
Despite what he told Eggsy of his plans, Harry took his time going into work that morning. He washed the dishes they had left in the sink and did some cleaning around the house; he did, as he had told Eggsy, have a maid- but Harry actually rather liked tidying up. It relaxed him.
As relaxed as he could be on a day which would determine so much about his future, Harry dressed and headed in to work.
He entered through the shop and then went upstairs to the round table room, where Kay, now Arthur, was waiting for him.
“Galahad,” Kay- Arthur, Harry still wasn’t quite used to that yet- said, looking up from his newspaper when he saw Harry. “Good to see you looking so… well rested.”
Harry could hear the insinuation in his voice. He knew, somehow, that Eggsy had gone to Harry the night before- and he had very strong suspicions as to what had occurred. Harry knew he shouldn’t be surprised; Kingsman had a healthy humor mill, to say the least. “I am,” he said. “And I’ll be quite ready to return to work once all the empty seats have been filled.”
“Excellent,” Arthur said. He took a sip of tea and didn’t say anything else.
Going to make me work for it, are you? Harry thought. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised by that either. Their new Arthur was a good man and he would be better than his predecessor in every conceivable way- but he still enjoyed playing with Harry just a little too much. “Do you know how things are going?”
“Our three remaining candidates are taking their turns with Merlin now,” Arthur said. “Hopefully this will all be decided within the hour.”
“Hopefully,” Harry agreed.
Arthur set his teacup down with a sigh. “You know I hoped we would only have two by this point. Tristan’s candidate has seen too many Bond movies. He’ll choke, I just thought it would be before now. It’s been between your boy and Percival’s candidate for a long time- in my mind at least.”
Really? Harry opened his mouth to say. Before he could, Arthur cocked his head to one side, clearly receiving a message from Merlin.
“Ah,” he said, lips quirking faintly. “There we are, then.”
Harry lifted an eyebrow.
“Tristan’s candidate didn’t pass. We’re sending him down to Merlin’s division to be a handler. It’s a better fit for him; should mellow him out.”
Harry nodded.
“At this point it’s hardly fair to waive the other two tests.’
Harry understood that, but he still wondered- “What if only one of them passes?”
“Well, I could be accused of favoritism if I chose someone who had failed the final test to take my old position- but a little favoritism never hurt anyone.”
Harry just knew Arthur was talking about Eggsy. “Is he a favorite of yours?” Percival’s candidate was, Harry gathered, of Egyptian extraction- the first of his family to be born in the UK, and an all around good egg. And as for Eggsy, well… Harry really was proud of him and the impression he had made on Kingsman- but he still felt a touch of possessiveness when he thought of someone else seeing everything he saw in Eggsy.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “If Kingsman is going to change we’ll need people like Eggsy- and Percival’s candidate and our new Lancelot- to help make it happen. And, well- you and Eggsy are incredible individually and even better side by side. I intend to keep you that way for as long as possible. After everything he’s been through with Kingsman I’m sure he’ll pass. And I confess, I did make a few little changes.”
Harry doubted Arthur would tell him what those were.
“Now,” Arthur said, taking another sip of tea. “Shall we wrap up your last assignment to prepare for your next foray into the field?”
“Valentine, you mean? Merlin briefed me on that several times, and Eggsy-”
Arthur rolled his eyes again. “All right, your second-to-last mission. The ring. Most of the remaining members we knew about either lost their heads with the rest of Valentine’s allies or killed each other with their fancy weapons during the few moments the SIM cards were turned on. I think we can safely consider that matter closed.”
Harry agreed. “I gather people are coming out of the woodwork to balance out the power vacuums left by the loss of so much of organized crime.”
“Oh, certainly- Kingsman is busier than ever. But it’s a new game board now. Many of our old enemies have been wiped out.”
One old enemy sprang to Harry’s mind straightaway. “What about Granby?” he asked. “I don’t suppose he got blown up with the others.”
“No.” Arthur sounded amused. “But he did get himself thrown into solitary confinement just the day before, so I think he must have had some idea of what Valentine was doing with those SIM cards.”
“He must have met him at some point, learned of his plans, introduced him to the ring. And then remembered that a product he had sold to them once would be on Kingsman’s books, panicked and went after me.” Harry laughed quietly to himself. “And if it hadn’t been for his involvement, I might never have met Eggsy.”
“Among other things,” Arthur said. His look of amusement grew. “Why? Would you like to thank him?”
“He’s under high security, I take it?”
“The highest. Most governments are… very jumpy, after what happened. As you say, there are a great many vacuums to be filled. They’re hoping to limit the damage.”
“Then I believe I’ll leave him to it.”
Arthur chuckled. “You may be learning to let go yet,” he said.
“Maybe,” Harry agreed.
Arthur never did receive another update about the final tests. Harry had some tea and eventually took his leave, finding himself rather at loose ends while he waited for news.
He was still making up his mind about what to do when Merlin contacted him over the glasses. "Cleared for duty again, are you?" was Merlin's hello.
"Officially," Harry replied. "Why? Do you have something for me?" He really was looking forward to going back into the field again, but he hated to think it would be so soon.
"Not at all," Merlin said. "I was simply curious."
"Aren't you meant to be testing the remaining candidates, not indulging your curiosity?"
"I'm between tests at the moment," Merlin sniffed. "And entirely capable of doing both at once." It was clear to Harry that Merlin didn't intend to tell him the results of the test he had just finished. Perhaps he wanted to let Eggsy give Harry the news, since they were all so sure it would be good. "And what are you up to?"
"Very little at the moment," Harry admitted.
"You could head to the shop," Merlin suggested. "They've gotten rather used to having Pellinore around, but he's gone back home and now they're a trifle short-handed."
Harry smiled. That sounded like Merlin telling him something after all. Pellinore wouldn't have left unless matters with Eggsy had been resolved to his satisfaction. "Very good, Merlin," he said. "Thank you." He meant for a thousand things, none of which were the order to go act like a tailor for a while.
Merlin gave a grunt of assent and broke the connection. Harry's smile only widened. Merlin had never been good at that sort of thing.
Harry did as instructed and went to the shop, where Dagonet put him to work reorganizing a tie display. That was what Harry was doing when a small child collided with his legs. She was the one who overbalanced, of course, and Harry caught and righted her as best he could.
“I’m so sorry,” someone said, and Harry froze. He would know that voice anywhere.
He lifted his eyes and looked at Eggsy’s mother, his fingers still brushing over Eggsy’s sister’s coat as he made sure she stayed upright. “It’s quite all right,” he managed to say. This was one thing he hadn’t thought about in all his visions of future that might await him and Eggsy: meeting his mother. The part of Harry that always remained cool in a crisis wondered if Merlin had known Michelle was here and sent him to the shop for that reason. The rest of Harry just panicked a little.
She blinked, recognizing him as well.
“Are you here to see Eggsy?” Harry asked before she could speak.
“More just visiting the shop, really,” she replied. “Eggsy’s so busy I haven’t much of him lately, but the tailors let me know how things are going.”
The tailors wouldn’t tell Michelle anything secret, Harry knew- but she probably suspected what Eggsy was really doing or planning to do for Kingsman. Harry hadn’t thought much about how that would make her feel, but he suspected it wasn’t good. It was lucky that the tailors were looking out for her; Harry would have to thank them for that. Not that he thought it had anything to do with him, of course- Eggsy was one of their own, and the only one so far to have a shot at becoming a Kingsman.
Probably they were very proud. Harry knew Pellinore was.
“You’ll be seeing him again soon,” Harry assured her. Once Eggsy was finished with the trials, one way or another, he would certainly check in with his family.
Michelle nodded, examining him with narrowed eyes. “I know who you are, you know.”
Harry bent his head. “I am so very sorry about your husband.”
Michelle grunted, finally relieving him of the child. “I suppose you are.” She picked her daughter up. “But I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about what’s between you and my son.”
“How… how did you know that we-”
She ticked off points on her fingers. “Him spending his time with someone who made an impression on a lot of people- including my ex-husband- and then getting a job for tailors who weren’t really just tailors. Him being a right mess for months. You here with a fresh scar. Honestly it’s not that hard to put it all together.”
“I see.” Harry had long known better than to underestimate Eggsy. Now he would know not to underestimate Michelle either.
She let out a long breath. “When I realized my son was falling for someone, I was worried about him. He liked to think I didn’t know what he was doing to make money for us- for me- but I did.”
“If it’s any consolation, I was never properly a customer.”
“But you were paying him. To help you or spend time with you or whatever.”
Harry nodded slowly.
Michelle’s lips flattened out. “Did you think you were somehow making amends for what happened with his father by helping him out like that?”
This time Harry was at least half expecting the question. This time he wasn’t too shocked to answer it. “No. No, I had no idea who he was when I met him.”
“How many boys called Eggsy did you think you was gonna meet?”
Harry hung his head. “Let me assure you, there is no negligence you could accuse me of where my relationship to your son- in either capacity- is concerned that I have not already blamed myself for a hundred fold.”
She just watched him in silence for a long moment. She had the look of an avenging angel about her, slightly marred by the child playing with her hair. “I guess that’s probably true,” she said at last. She was silent for another moment, then, “There were a lot of things I coulda done for my boy that I just… didn’t.”
“You did the best that you could in-”
Her eyes narrowed. “Let me take some responsibility for the choices I made. I’m a grown woman.”
Harry considered that. She was a grown woman who was not to blame for her second husband’s behavior, or for the extent of the financial trouble her family had ended up in.
But perhaps for now she needed to carry that weight. Perhaps it drove her the way Harry’s guilt over what happened to Lee- which Harry was beginning to realize had never truly been his fault, because Lee had made his own choice that day, and though Harry would have made it differently he could hardly change it now, and how could he when it had brought him here- drove him. Perhaps she needed to realize the truth in her own time.
Harry nodded.
“Well,” she said. “I think that- for his sake- I could learn to like you.”
Harry swallowed heavily. “Thank you,” he said. He couldn't have meant it more. For all he hadn't let himself imagine meeting Eggsy's mother- first because he had never been introduced to someone's parent in that way and simply couldn't picture it, and then later because he had been so sure it would be disastrous- he really had felt an affection for her after everything Eggsy had told him. He wanted her to like him. He liked her.
She nodded jerkily. “Good. Well- give him my love, will you? And tell him he can bring you with him. If he likes.”
“All right.”
Michelle nodded once more, improved her grip on the little girl, and left.
Harry was still deciding just what had hit him when the phone he had slipped into his pocket that morning- the one he still thought of as Eggsy’s- rang. He answered with, “Your mother sends her love.”
“Uh-oh,” Eggsy said.
Harry laughed. “It’s all right. She came by the shop. It was a… thorny first meeting, I’ll grant you, but it could certainly have been worse. She’d like you to come and see her when you can. I’m invited.”
“Wow,” Eggsy said. “So you two… you could get along? I was worried, what with the whole thing with my dad.”
“I think your mother and I could manage almost anything for you,” Harry said. There was a pause- Eggsy taking that in, Harry supposed- and Harry finally said, “But enough about us. How are you?”
“I’m good. I guess you can call me Kay now, anyway.”
Harry really had thought the title of Gawain would suit Eggsy- but Kay felt even better somehow, like they had come full circle since the day he walked into Eggsy's life. He was glad it had fallen out that way, just as their new Arthur had clearly predicted it would. “I’m glad,” Harry said. It felt like such a titanic understatement, but surely Eggsy would hear that much in his voice. In the background, Harry heard a faint barking, and then Eggsy negotiating with a dog. His dog, Harry assumed. He had seen JB once or twice, but they had yet to properly meet. Eggsy sounded so happy, talking to him. He sounded so happy period.
Harry's fingers brushed along the edge of the phone and he smiled. Soon Eggsy would have glasses of his own and be able to talk with Harry that way. Harry couldn't wait.
"Well, Agent Kay," he said. “There’s something I forgot to ask you this morning.”
“Yeah?”
“Will you permit me to take you to dinner? Perhaps tomorrow night?”
Eggsy laughed- or perhaps giggled was more what he did. It wasn’t very Kingsman-like, Harry had to admit- but he had rarely heard a sound he liked better. “You wanna wine and dine me? After all this?”
“It’s simply something I realized I haven’t properly done,” Harry said. “Taken you out on a real date, that is. Just you and me, as ourselves this time. And then after that I really will teach you how to make a proper martini.”
“That sounds like fun,” Eggsy said. It sounded like that was as much an understatement to him as I'm glad had been to Harry. But then his tone turned teasing. "And who's going to pay for this dinner?"
"Well." Frankly, Harry was a little choked up, thinking about how far they had come. "Since I'm inviting you, it seems only right that I..."
“Yeah," Eggsy said. "Yeah. As long as I get to take you out the time after that."
"Eggsy," Harry said. "I can honestly say there's nothing I would like more."