Chapter Text
The chill of the air clawed at Elsie's skin, reminding her of how much she despised the cold of the Scottish Highlands. Enchanted winter gear and warming charms aside, the bitter winds were no match for even the most powerful magic.
And Sebastian had the nerve to keep her waiting.
She paced outside the goblin mine, annoyed at herself for insisting on meeting rather than traveling together. Had the circumstances been different, she would have spent every moment she could with him — threading her fingers through his, inching closer to him as they talked. Maybe, if she had been bolder, she would have brought up the kiss herself.
But the more time she spent around Sebastian, the greater the risk was of losing sight of what was required of her. She was the ancient magic wielder when she was at Hogwarts, and the perfect socialite daughter when she was with her Muggle family. Or, at least, that was what she was supposed to be.
There was no room for a third life.
While rubbing her hands in a final desperate attempt to warm herself, she heard the crack of an apparition. Her eyes caught on a broad-shouldered figure in the distance, swaggering toward her as if unaware of the frost that she was certain would kill her if she spent another second pacing in it.
"Merlin, it's about time," she grumbled, another shiver passing through her as Sebastian approached.
He frowned, glancing around them at the mine. "No offense, but your directions were shit."
Elsie gaped at his immediate, abrasive greeting. "I said below Keenbridge!"
"You did." He dug a crumpled-up parchment out of his pocket and unfolded it, pointing at her ink markings all over the page. "What you failed to mention is howfar below Keenbridge it was."
"I thought you knew this area well."
"I do. When you let me follow the map that I had in the Undercroft. But you said you knew a shortcut and to ignore it."
"I-" She pinched in between her eyes. Not like he had been paying attention to anything she had said hours prior in the first place. "Never mind. Let's just get inside. I swear my nose is about to fall off."
Sebastian stuffed the parchment back into his pocket, grabbing her wrist as she tried to walk away. She stiffened at the touch but turned to look at him. "I…the warming charm. I could—"
"Doesn't matter." The less time she spent alone with him, the better. Already, his touch was starting to burn through her glove, a stark contrast to the temperature outside. "We need to be careful. The goblins have vacated the area, but Ashwinders are still on patrol."
His hand fell to his side, and she loosed a breath. "Ashwinders? I thought they had disbanded?"
She shrugged. "Rookwood may be gone, but with Harlow still on the loose, I can imagine they haven't given up hope." She fumbled through the pockets of her coat for her wand and masked herself in a Disillusionment Charm. "We'll have to sneak past the door's detection, but once we're in, the pathway to the tunnels should be straightforward."
Sebastian hummed, following suit as he disappeared under the Disillusionment Charm in front of her. She took the lead, the sound of his voice trailing behind her the only indication he was nearby. "I take it you've explored here before."
"Yes, with Amit, long before the drill was complete. I'm sure the tunnels look different now." The door clicked open under her touch, the guardian eye blinking closed, taken off guard by their sneaking. Stale, musty air overcame her senses as she stepped inside, grateful to be out of the cold for a moment.
"Amit." He muttered. "Right."
And then, the door clanged shut behind them, and her heart thudded against her chest.
Ridiculous, still, that she should be so afraid of getting trapped in an enclosed space when she had witnessed and faced countless horrors before she was legally an adult. Fighting the dragon form of Ranrok was manageable, but her body deemed small spaces as a threat.
There's nothing to fear, she reasoned. A simple bombarda would get her out. No need to panic.
Dim torchlight illuminated the path ahead and framed the rickety lift at the end. She took a breath and stepped towards it just as Sebastian prodded her, causing her to jump.
"Are you alright?"
She didn't like the way he was looking at her, as if she were made of porcelain and one wrong word would shatter her. "Assessing the environment is all."
He quirked an eyebrow. "We've hardly entered the mine."
"I know that," she hissed. "Can never be too careful."
Doubt flashed across his features, and she turned away, determined to ignore his gaze boring into her. Whatever assessment he was making of her choice to distance herself, she refused to acknowledge. Because if he brought up anything about what had happened on the rooftop, she was certain she would break.
Maybe she was fragile after all.
A gasp slipped out of her as the lift trembled beneath their combined weight, and Sebastian was quick to react, wrapping a firm hand around her arm to steady her.
She swallowed. "Th-thanks."
He didn't let go as she pulled the lever, sending them deep into the mine.
The clanking of cogs as the lift reopened signaled they were at the base, and Elsie stared wide-eyed at the sight. The entrance was exactly as she had recalled, the metallic pathways leading deeper into the cave. With Ranrok gone and his followers in hiding or dead, she hoped they would have no issue getting through to the tunnels.
Sebastian whistled. "You weren't kidding. It looks like it goes on for ages."
With a wave of her wand, she Accio'd the remnants of the bridge toward them, tentatively stepping over the gap to make her way across. The familiar sight of the first room in the mine made her stomach flip. No goblins, but she couldn't be too careful.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a pebble knocking against the framework. She turned and glared at Sebastian, who was leaning over the railing, watching the rock he had kicked disappear into the darkness.
"How far down do you think it goes?"
Elsie sighed, continuing forward, and he jogged to match her pace. "I'm trying not to think about it."
He hummed as if contemplating, then said, "What would you do if I jumped?"
She whirled, eyes wide with horror. "What?!"
"You know. That way I could see how far the bottom is." He nudged her, a taunting look on his face, and she stiffened. "Test your reflexes. See if you can cast Accio fast enough—"
"You can't use Accio on people!"
"But you can use it on clothing," he said. "Or I could test my apparition reflexes. There's also the use of a broom…"
"I—" She massaged her temples in disbelief, heart racing as she pictured the darkness swallowing her, trapped underground without knowing which way was up. Bile rose in her throat. "I'd…rather not."
The color must have drained from her face, because he was frowning at her, brows knit, before he said, "Let's talk about something else then."
Good. Anything to take her mind off of having an entire mine collapsing in on her, trapped in the underground forever with no way to escape, as the air was slowly leeched from her lungs—
"Like what?"
He tapped his chin and made the worst suggestion.
"Why don't we talk about what happened on the roof?"
Insufferable.
"No."
Sebastian huffed. "What do you mean by 'no'?"
"I mean no!" Was he really discussing these matters at a time like this? "Ask me something else!"
"But—"
"Ask me," she said through her teeth, "something else."
Defiance lit up his features, and his mouth opened and closed as if he were preparing an argument. She prepared herself for whatever retort he would come up with, turning on her heel and training her focus on the path ahead. He could argue all he wanted. She was determined to tune him out.
"Wait, don't—" His hand clasped around her wrist, and she resisted the urge to pull away. "Come on, it wasn't that bad, was it?"
She rolled her eyes. Where was that damn tunnel? She almost hoped for a goblin or Ashwinder ambush to interrupt the conversation.
"Fine," he relented, and when he loosened his grip, she quickened her pace. "Fine. We'll talk about something else."
She offered him a quick nod but otherwise kept her eyes averted, still pretending to scan the area. "Good. Better to focus on the task anyway."
He grumbled something inaudible.
"What?"
"Nothing."
She sighed as they approached a staircase. Another empty room, and still no tunnel to be found. Sebastian seemed to take a sudden interest in one of the large pieces of machinery. Which could only mean he was going to pout until she broached a new subject.
It wasn't her job to entertain him. She was here for a purpose.
Elsie swiped at the strands of hair that had fallen in her face and stepped into the room. It was still intact, just as she and Amit had left it when they last explored — papers, plans, even the pot of stew in the center of the lower room, still boiling over a magical flame. Its contents had crusted to one side, the charred remains contained by whatever enchantment kept it from igniting the rest of the room.
The mine had been completely abandoned.
Her fingers trailed along one of the workbenches, notes in gobbledegook still scattered on top of it. "It's a wonder Aurors didn't come here and raid the place after Ranrok's fall. Nearly one year later, and everything is still exactly the same."
Sebastian was inspecting another scroll not too far away, his eyes glazed over.
"Sebastian?"
He met her eyes. "Did you hear Weasley's announcement about a ball?"
"Did I—" She blinked. "Excuse me?"
He folded the parchment and pocketed it. "You asked for a subject change."
It made sense to her that her friends would be interested in hearing her opinion of Hogwarts throwing a party in her honor. Being asked about it at the table in the Great Hall was expected. In the middle of a goblin mine in search of an ancient magic wand, however, Sebastian seemed determined to distract her from her quest. Or he wanted to pry, which wasn't a better alternative.
She was supposed to be guarding herself.
"Yes. Poppy warned me about it at lunch." She sighed, tossing her plait behind her head. "In my honor."
His face lit up with amusement, and he examined another parchment that was covered in more indecipherable language. "You sound thrilled."
"I'm not exactly looking forward to being the center of attention. And for what?" She flailed. "Because I 'saved Hogwarts'?"
"You did, though."
"I didn't. Not really, if this is any indication." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "They were able to tunnel beneath anyway, and nobody bothered to investigate?"
He snorted. "Aurors aren't exactly the most competent at much of anything, if you hadn't noticed."
Fig had said as much after every return from his discussions with the Ministry. Putting her faith in people like them — the Keepers, the Ministry, even her professors — it was a mistake.
"Maybe not. But that's why we're here, isn't it?" She reminded him. "You want something done—"
"Burn yourself the hell out trying to achieve it."
She glared at him. He smiled back.
The scent of another smouldering fire drew her into the next room. A cool, dank breeze caught her attention.
"That wasn't here before."
Sebastian opened up the parchment that he had pocketed. "Your hunch was right. If all goes well, this tunnel should lead us straight to Hogwarts."
"You found a map?" She reached to grab it when he yanked it back, and she puffed out her cheeks. "I should be allowed to see where we're going. I'm leading this. This whole thing was my plan."
The smirk on his face had her fuming. "You don't know the Highlands nearly as well as you think you do. You almost went the wrong way to Irondale. You couldn't navigate the bog. And," he tugged on the collar of her coat, "I wouldn't have even made it here if I had listened to your directions."
"I should at least see it—"
He took off down the tunnel before she could snatch it from his hand. The map vanished.
"Sebastian!" She hissed, sprinting into the cave after him. "Where's the map?! Where did you send it? You can't withhold something like that from me!"
His grin only widened. "You're either going to have to trust my judgement, or you're going to have to work very hard to take it from me."
She raised her wand. "Accio-"
"Careful," he warned, his voice light and teasing. "You do that, and you'll take my trousers with you."
"Your-" Her ears were hot. She must have misheard him. "You—You—what?!"
His laugh echoed down the cavern as he strutted ahead of her, leaving her confused, embarrassed, and livid behind him. "Trust, sweetheart. Unless you're feeling bold enough to stick your hand down my—"
"No!" She tore off her winter coat and shoved it into her pack. Her whole body was too warm for traversing through the underground. "No, no, no, absolutely not. I would never—how could you be so—we're not even discussing—"
"Then trust me." He beamed back at her. "I can help. You only have to let me."
Against her better judgment, she scuffed her boot into the dirt and followed behind him. She narrowed her eyes at his back, taking in his confident stride — one hand in his pocket, the other wrapped around his wand, rolling it between deft fingers without fear of dropping it. His shoulders swayed like a peacock with its feathers out, chest puffed as if he had traveled this route a thousand times before.
"I do trust you," she grumbled, chewing on her tongue. "Do you trust me?"
He stopped, brows scrunched as he looked at her, the only indication that she had shaken his facade. "Of course."
"Then why won't you let me see the map?"
His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally answered, his tone solemn. "If I do, you might—" He let out a long breath. "You might run, and…leave me here. Figured it's better if I-"
I would never do that, she wanted to shout at him, shake him until he understood that she wasn't going anywhere. Except that she had left him in Irondale, abandoned him at Hogwarts, took off night after night to practice spells with Lavinia, and never told him any of it until he cornered her, begging.
It was all she was — a vessel of broken promises and a coward, always running away.
She hated herself for it.
"Yeah," she agreed, staring at a spot on the ground. "You're probably right."
She could feel his gaze on her, as if he wanted to say more, but she plastered on a smile instead and said, "We have to keep going if we're going to make it to the repository."
Sebastian frowned. "Are you—"
"Fine." Blasted feelings. "I'm fine." Her palms itched, and she curled her hands into fists.
Control it before it controls you.
His gaze tracked the movement, and before she could stop him, he reached down and laced his fingers through hers. A wave of calm passed over her, and she breathed, tightening her grip on his hand.
No matter the cost.
Well, if this was what allowed her magic to settle long enough to focus, so be it.
They walked in silence for a while after that, but his gaze never left her for too long.
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A pool of water in the center of the cavern marked their first noticeable landmark. She was careful with every step, worried that she might lose her footing and fall in.
Sebastian said it was the halfway point, but without the map, she couldn't be sure. Bits of light leaked through the cracks in the ceiling, and she squinted at them, trying to decipher the time and location.
"I feel like we've been walking for ages," she groaned, plopping on the ground and pressing her back against the wall farthest from the water. "These blasted boots."
Sebastian sat across from her. "A break already?"
"You try walking in women's boots all day long and then tell me you wouldn't need a break."
Reaching the repository was her top priority, but all she could think of was how her feet ached and her legs burned. Even the stairs at Hogwarts couldn't prepare her for trudging along the paths of the steep cavern. The summer months of living at home had stifled some of her previous training.
He settled against the stone and huffed a laugh. "How do you plan on dancing the entire night of the ball? I'm sure those shoes are much less comfortable."
Her nose wrinkled, images of swirling, colorful fabric and candlelight filling her mind. She'd been a part of numerous parties back at home, attending her peers' debutante balls and cotillions, or participating in one of the many social gatherings her parents insisted on.
Being at Hogwarts was becoming less of an escape with each passing day.
Though why Sebastian was so persistent to discuss this topic had her baffled.
"Bold of you to assume I'm going to be dancing," she muttered.
"It's tradition." He kicked her boot with his, and she squeaked. "You can't escape it. If you're the guest of honor, Weasley's going to expect you to open the dance floor."
"Noooo…" she lamented, squeezing her eyes shut. The thought of everyone's attention on her sounded horrific. It was as if the universe could sense the school's focus diverting and was insistent on its staying fixed on her for all eternity. She would never be free from their scrutiny. "Ugh, why are we even talking about this? You don't seem like the type to care about a silly dance."
He shrugged one shoulder. "I don't. But…Anne always used to talk about how much she dreamed of going to one. Whenever Hogwarts hosts them, they're usually for fourth years and older. And, uh…that didn't exactly…work out."
The crinkle of parchment caught her attention, and she cracked an eye open. Sebastian was hunched over, quill in hand, scribbling something down. "I'm—"
"Elsie, I swear to Merlin, if you say you're sorry…"
"I am, though!" She scrunched her brow. "It isn't fair. I don't even want a ball in my honor. I don't deserve any of it while…while she doesn't even get to experience one."
His smile was tight. "It's not your fault."
"It is," she sighed. "In a way."
A beat of silence passed between them. Sebastian was the first to break it.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'm sure Weasley has dance classes already prepared. No need to be nervous about your two left feet." He grinned up at her for a brief moment before returning to writing on the parchment.
Elsie gaped at him, defensive. "I know how to dance."
"Do you, now?"
"Yes. I've danced my fair share of waltzes. Can't have a proper Muggle party without it," she sighed, contemplating. "In fact, I'm a greatdancer."
It was a bit of an exaggeration — she wasn't graceful, by any means, but she knew how to hold her own during a waltz. Enough to look appealing to potential suitors. Not that she needed to, as her parents had sealed her fate long before she knew what they had planned. But presentation was everything.
His eyes flickered with intrigue. "Prove it."
"I…" She glanced around. "I can't exactly prove it here."
He waved the quill dismissively. "Then, as far as I'm concerned, you're afraid you're going to step on toes."
She sat up straighter, offended, and with the flick of her wand, launched a pebble at his head.
"Maybe," she ground out, "I'm afraid you're going to step on my toes."
Sebastian was still rubbing his head and stifling his laughter when he stopped at her words, grinning broadly. "Does that mean you're going to dance with me?"
Ah.
There he was, with his ulterior motives yet again. It explained why he kept bringing up the frivolous topic of a dance in the middle of their trek. It should have been obvious to her — he was still trying to feel her out, to get answers, to have her explain why she, even after their kiss, had pushed him away.
It made her wonder if that had been the only reason he had come on this journey in the first place. If, the whole time, he hadn't planned on helping, but rather using it as an excuse to back her into a corner and interrogate her.
Perhaps he thought her too weak to do it on her own.
Instead of entertaining the idea, she stood and brushed herself off. "This isn't really the time for conversations about some ridiculous ball. We have a purpose here."
Sebastian's disappointment was palpable, but she swallowed back the guilt as she heard him stand up behind her.
All she wanted to do was get to the repository and find the wand. Then, she could return to Lavinia and their training, and become the ancient magic wielder she was meant to be.
And nobody would be able to control her ever again.
He sighed. "You can't just keep pushing me away like that. We have to talk at some point."
"I told you." She made a show of stretching to avoid seeing the ache in his eyes. "There's nothing to talk about."
His hand clasped around her wrist, desperation written all over him, but she kept her focus on the path ahead. "We kissed, Elsie. The timing was — fuck. I know, we have other priorities, but we—" His fingers tightened. "You can't just…pretend it meant nothing."
"It did mean nothing." She pulled her arm out of his grasp. "It has to."
One step forward, and she collided with his chest. His hands were on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Why? What are you so afraid of?!"
She tried to shake him off. "Because I don't have a choice!"
The look on his face was one of irritation, no longer playing the lighthearted, taunting game. "Because of what? Your parents? Your job as a Keeper?"
She tried to wriggle out of his arms, and he only held her tighter. "Elsie, please—"
"No!"
"I'm not asking for much. I just want to talk."
"And I said," she grabbed for her wand, "there's nothing to talk about."
He did let her go then, and she pointed her wand at him, waiting for him to retaliate. Sebastian held up his hands, his eyes wide and pleading, like a puppy that had been kicked. "There's no need for that. I'm not trying to fight."
"Then what? Why can't you accept that this is how it has to be? That we can't—" Why was her voice breaking? Crying at a moment like this was pathetic. Her feelings toward him didn't matter in the grand scheme, not when there were more important tasks to complete first. Getting closer to him was a weakness and a distraction.
They'd both end up hurt. And it would be her fault.
She clenched her jaw. "We're friends, Sebastian. It was a reaction to being close. That's it."
Her gaze locked on the bob of his throat, and he offered a tight-lipped smile that didn't meet his eyes, shoulders slumped in defeat. "Right. 'Course."
It was too simple an answer, too dismissive. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Sebastian sighed, shifting his weight and running his fingers through his hair. "It means we keep having this conversation, and it’s going nowhere. It means I know I'm never going to get a straight answer from you." His arm dropped limply to his side. "And I'm going to have to be fine with that."
"Did it—" Her breath hitched, almost regretting the question as soon as it came out. "Did it mean something to you?"
"Does it matter?" He threw her words right back at her, though his tone was flat. "It doesn't change anything."
Her palms warmed, aching for destruction. She wanted to explode, to shatter the world around them so that nothing else existed — no mine, no repository, no Keepers or Rookwood or family obligations standing in the way of what she wanted. She had already tried to push away her friends and her sister to keep them safe.
But Sebastian?
She couldn't stay away from him. He always found her, and he refused to leave her side.
It was going to get him killed if he didn't stop. Just like everyone else, she would lose him, too.
Lavinia's voice echoed in her head. The secrets you're after are not to be taken lightly.
Whatever it takes. Even at a cost.
She needed to make him stop.
"I think," she drew a steady breath, trying to calm her racing heart, "that I should do this alone."
He scoffed, voice shaking. "There you go again. Running, as usual."
"Excuse me?!"
"It's all you know how to do," he snapped, stepping closer. "Push people away, just as they're starting to get close. And when it gets hard, you run."
For your own good, like you care, she thought. "That's rich, coming from you. I had to chase you out of the catacomb, and you're accusing me of running?!"
He worked his jaw.
"I told you, I don't need your help." She planted her feet. "Lavinia sent me to do this task."
"So? What's it matter if I tag along, then?"
Elsie sighed and held out her hand, tired. "Give me the map, Sebastian."
A pause, then, "No."
She expected as much. "Don't—don't make me—"
"I'm not making you do anything." He inched closer to her, hand hovering over his wand, and she held her breath. "You're doing this to yourself. If you would just talk—"
"There's nothing to talk about!"
"Merlin's fu—do you hear yourself?!" He raked his hands through his hair, eyes wide with madness and rage. "Can't even make up your own mind. Who's making these decisions for you, Elsie? Is this really what you want?"
"It doesn't matter what I want!" She struck the cave wall with a spell, and the rocks trembled above them. "It's never about what I want. It's what needs to be done!"
"And what is that, exactly? Find the wand, gain control over your magic, and then…?" He took another step toward her, and she staggered. "Go back to your parents in London? Marry some aristocrat's son and play the part of a Muggle housewife?"
She shook her head. He wasn't stopping.
"And what about Lydia? Are you going to abandon her, too, like you're trying to do with me?"
How dare he bring her sister into this.
"You know nothing—"
"I know more than you're giving me credit for." Sebastian ground his teeth. "And I know when you're not telling me everything. When are you going to stop keeping secrets from me?"
"What? And bare all my feelings to you? Drop everything a-and…fly into the sunset?!"
He rolled his eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me!" She shot a weak spell at him, and he blocked it with ease. Tears pricked at her eyes. "Stop treating me like I'm some problem that needs to be solved!"
"Stop acting like I'm disposable!"
"Why won't you just go?!"
"I'm not leaving you!"
"Why not!"
"Because I—"
A tremor that caused Elsie to stumble shook the tunnel, and she cast a protego to hold off the stalactites that fell all around her. The ripples of her shield shimmered with the dust that clouded her vision. Water from the nearby pool splashed around her feet, and she whirled around, searching for the source of the disturbance.
She raced through her mental catalogue of what could reside in an abandoned mine as the ground moved beneath her again, knocking her off her feet. Frozen with her protego hovering above her, she squinted through the cloud of grit.
In the midst of it, she spotted Sebastian's horrified face.
"Elsie—!"
And then, she saw it.
A Thornback Matriarch, towering over her like some behemoth, all fangs and eyes and hairy legs. Bile rose in her throat at the sight, and the creature stared back before releasing a deafening screech.
Her hand flew to her ear, blocking out as much sound as she could while the other held her shield charm. She needed to run, to get out of the line of fire.
Before she could take action, more spiders crawled out of every crevice in the cavern — spiders of every size, multiplying beyond her comprehension. They appeared as one large cluster of legs, creeping toward them at an unfathomable speed.
She was going to be sick.
As if on cue, fire lit the cavern ablaze, the smallest of the spiders shriveling beneath its heat. Sebastian had already jumped into action. She held her shield long enough for a path to clear in front of her before beginning her assault.
If one of the spiders touched her—
She was going to take a hundred baths after this.
"Bombarda!" The shockwaves loosened more stones from the wall, and she rolled to dodge them, watching as they crushed one of the clusters, bits of spider spattering the cave wall.
She waited expectantly for her palms to heat, for that surge of power to burn inside her and destroy everything in its path, just as it had in the Bog. This was how she had channeled it before; she was sure of it. In every moment of panic, she had summoned it, defeated Inferi and trolls, and even the Keepers' portraits with it.
Lavinia had insisted on starting from the basics.
Why in Merlin's name had she been practicing levioso?!
The world was too loud, the ancient magic silent.
You need to learn to control it. Or else it will control you.
She screamed as a spider clawed at her boot with its hairy leg. She kicked it and winced as it landed feet away from her with a sickening crack. The cycle repeated. Another blast, another spider, more creatures emerging from every direction.
Stupid ancient magic. Stupid Keepers. Stupid stupid stupid.
Too late, she looked over at Sebastian, only able to watch as he shook the smaller spiders off of his body, wordlessly sending fire spells and curses all around them. Something was wrong — he was holding back, she could tell. For what reason? To save face with her? She knew what he was capable of. There was no more hiding that.
She tried to call out to him, but she didn't get the chance.
The Matriarch had returned, angry. And it was coming after her.
Elsie raised her wand. She wasn't fast enough.
She heard Sebastian call out her name, something struck her across her abdomen, and then she was airborne, the room spinning beneath her as she grappled for anything to steady her.
Cold pierced her back before enveloping her completely. Her arms flailed, legs kicking as she fought for air in the depths of the cavern pool.
Everything went black.