Chapter Text
Loki managed to avoid Thor for two full weeks after returning to his rooms in the palace.
He'd asked the AllFather to keep his brother away, and whether out of a sense of love or one of lingering guilt for having caused this rift in the first place, his father had agreed. Those two weeks were spent in quiet contemplation, reading and sleeping.
Frigga visited every day for an hour at most, and though her smiles never wavered, Loki could feel her guilt and hesitation in her every movement. Odin came less frequently, likely doubting his presence would be welcome. This suited Loki just fine, as he still had no idea what to say to either of them. His meals were delivered to his rooms as the King ran damage control and public relations work, addressing the return of Asgard's lost prince. He never thought he'd ever come to resent solitude, but as the days passed he missed Thor more and more.
You're a coward, the nagging voice in his head whispered to him.
You won't see him because you're scared of what he'll say. After all, you cant lose again what's already been lost to you.
At times like these, Loki's thoughts would drift back to Thor sitting vigil over his sickbed while he pretended to sleep. Clearly his brother still had SOME regard for him, right?
Pity. That's all that was. He would push these thoughts aside and open another book.
And so, after two weeks of silence and doubts, Loki awoke with a start to the sounds of yelling from the hall.
"RIDICULOUS," Thor's loud voice was booming "I HAVE WAITED LONG ENOUGH, FATHER. I WON'T BE KEPT AWAY ANY LONGER. HE'S MY-"
Loki pushed a pillow over his ears and sighed deeply.
You knew this was coming. It's time to face the music.
He got up slowly, bypassing conjuring his armor in favor of a green robe draped across the nearest chair. He unlocked the door to the sight of Odin physically blocking Thor's path to his rooms. They both turned to him, mouths agape.
"By the Norn, Thor, it is too early for this. Come inside if you must." He noted his fathers apologetic expression as he moved aside too let Thor through the door before shutting it behind them.
"Well?" Loki asked, tiredly once the silence had become deafening. "If you're here to kill me, you might as well get it over with."
Thor paled at this, "Kill you? Why would I- Brother, please, listen to me."
"I'm the monster, aren't I Thor? The one you've dedicated your life to slaying? Well, go on." He spread his arms lazily. "Have at it. Because I'm tired of being one."
To his complete astonishment, Loki watched as Thor's face crumpled and tears pooled in his eyes
"Don't say that, Loki, please." he begged. "Never say that. I am the true monster here."
Stifling a sob, Thor knelt before Loki, tilting his head up to bare his throat.
If Loki were asked what was the most unlikely thing that could ever happen, even if you gave him a thousand chances, he still would have never guessed this. This picture of submission seemed so unnatural, so out of place with the confidence Thor always exuded, that before he could even process it his arm shot out to pull him up off his knees.
"What are you doi-" he started, moving to grasp his brother's biceps but Thor grabbed his outstretched hand instead.
"No, let me talk, please brother. I have wronged you and I cannot let another day pass without begging your forgiveness. Valhalla knows I am not worthy of it, but I must try. I have been arrogant, cruel, power-hungry and dismissive of the one person who matters mosNt to me. I have belittled you and dismissed you in front of our friends and allies, and I am horrified that it took having you stolen from me to realize it."
At this, Thor seemed to sag, turning his gaze to the floor. He leaned into Loki's body, resting his head against Loki's side.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of. It is I who should be ashamed, of my previous beliefs and actions. Please, forgive me."
Loki stared, uncomprehending at this brothers golden head. His mind was an utter blank.
"You... huh." He petered out, unsure of what to say. Thor lifted his gaze to peer at him curiously, the tears still staining his cheeks. "You don't think I'm a monster? A coward?"
Hope is a dangerous thing, Lie-smith. You know this better than anyone.
"No! I was blinded by my arrogance and jealousy, and I will do anything to make this right to you."
"Wait, Jealousy?"
Thor nodded vigorously and clutched his hand a little tighter.
"What have YOU to be jealous of, oh Golden prince?"
"Your arts." he said simply. "Your intellect. The way you and father knew instinctively what to do and how to do it. And mother has always favored you, you know."
"What?" Loki asked, incredulously. "You cannot be serious."
Thor nodded somehow even more fiercely.
"It's true! You have these incredible gifts, it seemed the only way to be half as wonderful as you was through my hammer."
"I-" Loki, still not fully healed, swayed slighly on his feet. His heart pounded in his ears. This was too much.
An alarmed Thor shot up to steady him and guide him to a chair before kneeling by his side.
"Easy, Brother! I apologize, you are still not well and I have upset you. I'll-"
"Thor, stop." The blonde stilled beside him. They were silent for a long while, before Loki finally spoke up. "I never knew."
He took a deep breath. "Alright." he said, with finality.
Thor said nothing, but stared at him warily, as if afraid he'd be kicked out any moment.
"Alright?" the warrior finally ventured.
"Alright." Loki confirmed. "I'm tired, so if you plan to stay you might as well read to me."
A tentative grin broke out on the blonde's face, which the sorcerer finally met with one of his own.
They both knew they could never return exactly to what they once had, but maybe they could have something better.