Chapter Text
(Picture perma link https://rennemichaels.tumblr.com/post/150929302888/rennemichaelswrites-well-we-cant-have-that )
Really? Well... Here Ya go.
Chapter 9 - Apples
*snip*
“Well we can’t have that can we?” Loki cups his hands in front of him and opens them producing two ruby apples individually wrapped in translucent silk. “Pick one,” he tells Coulson holding out an apple in each hand.
“So we’re doing Snow White?” Coulson asks.
“No. We’re choosing apples, was I not clear on that?” Coulson’s lips twitched up a bit at the corners.
“Snow White was fed a poison apple by her wicked step-mother. An old fairy tale for children.”
“Charming,” Loki says raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure it is an instructive warning tale of dysfunctional extended family dynamics. But no, the apples aren’t poison; they were procured with much effort from my mother’s personal orchard. One is yours and to allay your fears of mischance, one is mine. Pick one.”
*snip*
All-Righty then... Loki’s thoughts on the Classic version of Snow White.
Well, first, Loki would wonder how a supposedly skill practitioner of magic like the Queen would be daft enough to trust a no doubt vengeful spirit trapped in a mirror... Of course it is going to give you *good* advice. And it would never goad you into doing something you shouldn't. (NOT)
Due to his own coloration, Loki no doubt will ignore the vampirish appearance description of skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony.
And I daresay he would have something to say about the intelligence of someone who finds a dwelling that while empty is clearly lived in... And instead of looting the place for supplies to survive and leaving… They instead take up residence, blithely ignoring the fact that the owners would be returning.
And, having been trained as a princess, he would wonder that Snow White would allow a poor peddler/apple seller to simply GIFT her with an item. (apple/laces depending on the version) This not only shows stupidity but a complete lack of compassion for those who are trying to sustain themselves without resorting to breaking and entering, like she did.
And since, Snow White’s lack of intelligence has already been established, Loki would expect no better from her. He would however wonder about her protectors, who while seemingly intelligent enough to run a successful mine, do not even attempt to convince her not to marry someone who showed disturbing signs of necrophilia by kissing someone in a crypt.
But, perhaps it would be too much to expect mortals, or indeed their tales to make much sense.