Chapter Text
Loki was sitting on his favorite place in the Royal gardens, near the huge silver fountain with its singing golden birds that made noise while throwing water.
He was not exactly alone for his Einherjar bodyguards were watching him from afar, letting him have some privacy.
He was crying or trying not to cry.
The baby had been constantly moving and had barely let Loki have any sleep. He couldn't have a moment of peace for the birth was imminent. Thor was so nervous from the wait he wouldn't let his husband alone. Loki had to almost throw him out of the room to force him go to the morning council. All of this, plus the fact that he was really feeling fat and heavy and his back hurt from the weight, had weakened Loki's emotional state that was why he was reacting so badly to the news from Jötunheim.
Farbauti had brutally died in his sleep during his stay in the northern spa resort.
Býleistr was not sure how it could have happened but it seemed that his sire had been weak in the heart for some time now and the rage of seeing his plans ruined and Angrbodr dead must have put a certain strain on it. Býleistr couldn't say if someone had “helped” this death but the subtext was that Farbauti wasn't mourned by Laufey that much. Býleistr's own spies had told him Laufey had been spotted in the pleasant company of a young local runt.
Well, what do you know… Loki thought. He wasn't even really surprised.
Aside from this, everything was going fine. Young Lokasenna looked more and more like his Godfather, Loki. Loki smiled at Býleistr's mention that the Jötnar High Council made a weird face seeing King Helblindi nursing his little child right in front of the honored ministers while still administrating the current affairs…
The possibility of Helblindi remarrying had been considered many times. After all, him remaining a widower could send a bad message to the other realms… Yet Helblindi refused to even get into the subject. Býleistr knew that Helblindi was hiding the fact he still missed Angrbodr.
Maybe Helblindi had been the one that sincerely loved Angrbodr the most from the beginning…
Loki didn't even know why he was so sad. Did his dam really love him after all ? About this, in the end, he had no idea.
His parents were stuck in an arranged marriage, they let their firstborn get caught in the same trap because he was too different to be a king. They did everything to preserve their position and power but, were they really happy ? Even only for a moment ?
Loki was almost sure they must have been at some point but not long enough for their relationship to grow.
Loki felt guilty for he had the weird feeling his birth had been the cause of his parents' rift but again, he was not responsible for being a runt. He was not the one who had started the war. He went as a hostage with the idea to save his homeland and he did, in the end, although unwillingly, by his own marriage.
The Casket was still in Asgard but now it mattered very little who had it.
Asgard could not use it against the future All-Mother's dam's country. Jötunheim could not attack a realm where a Jötunn prince reigned alongside the All-Father.
Yet, only by hearing about this death, did Loki realize how much he had missed his dam, how much he had needed him for so many things in his whole life and how much this very dam who had birthed him never even bothered. Loki knew now that this wound would never heal and that there would be no reconciliations.
The only thing Loki could do was to protect his children from ever being left alone in the far end of a cold palace, as he once had been.
****
One of his bodyguards must have warned the King that the Consort seemed out of sorts for Thor came, holding Wynn's hand. They both looked worried. Loki tried to wipe his tears but they knew anyway how he felt.
At least I am loved now. Loki firmly thought. I might not have been, then, but I am right here and now.
“Ma, boo-boo ?” Asked softly Wynn, climbing her mother's knees for a hug, almost ready to shed sympathetic tears.
It was enough for Loki to wrap his arms around his daughter (which was difficult because of his huge belly) and cry earnestly this time. He rested his chin on top of his beautiful little girl's golden head.
“Ma had a very long journey home, sweetheart...” Murmured Thor who sometimes deciphered what was really the matter about Loki.
Wynn looked at her father, unsure of what he meant.
“Ki'th Ma, Pa !” She declared in her reasonable, older-than-her-years, tone.
Thor smiled and kissed his husband on the mouth.
Loki didn't need to talk for he was, at last, complete.
A realm, a husband, a love, well, several loves with soon two children.
It was simply perfect. It was what he had really wanted all along.
“That's sooooooooo cute...” Cooed ironically a very well known voice that had been blessedly silenced until now. “But are you aware that if you and your oaf of a husband don't hurry back home, you are going to give birth right in the middle of the garden ?”
Loki cringed.
I wish you would just shut up... He thought.