Chapter Text
Steve couldn't think about Bucky right now. He literally could not do it. Even just letting his mind go in that direction was enough to make him feel nauseous. No, he had to concentrate on Tony. When they got back to the tower, he carried Tony and Clint down to the floor that Phil and Clint shared. He would've rather taken Tony back to their floor, but separating him and Clint just wasn't feasible right now. The last thing Steve wanted was another panic attack from either of them.
Not surprisingly, Natasha and Bruce followed them step for step. Steve ignored them both, even going so far as to pointedly shut the guest bedroom door in Natasha's face. He needed a moment of privacy with Tony, starting with getting his little boy out of that horrible hospital gown and into something much more comfortable. He set Tony down on the bed and carefully removed the gown and diaper, the latter of which he'd noticed wasn't very good quality.
The second thing he did was give Tony a sponge bath, wiping away what he could of the blood, urine, sweat, vomit and tears when Tony had quite a few bandages covering his body. He really needed a bath, but that could wait until Tony woke up. Steve paused in the midst of wringing out the cloth, wondering - not for the first time - if he would be taking a shower with his lover or giving his little one a bath. Either was a viable option right now. He just wanted Tony to wake up.
He finished wiping Tony down and gently patted him dry, then applied a liberal amount of diaper cream to help with the rash that came from sitting in pee for too long before putting on a fresh diaper. A bright yellow onesie, one of Tony's favorites because of the green Hulk on the front, followed, and as Steve snapped the crotch shut he sighed. He'd done this dozens of times before, but never when Tony was actually unconscious. There was such a marked difference from his normally playful little boy: Tony's face was so slack, it was eerie.
"I need you to be okay," he whispered, putting his face next to Tony's. "I know that's really selfish, but I need you, Tony." His throat ached at the thought of trying to go through life without this amazing man at his side. Steve could do what needed to be done, but only if he had Tony to go home at the end of it all. He'd almost lost Tony once when he became too obsessed with trying to find Bucky. He couldn't bear losing him now. And as much as he loved Tony as a baby, Steve needed adult Tony even more.
Tony slept on, heedless of Steve's plea, and after a moment Steve got up and pulled the blankets over him, knowing that Tony got cold easily when he slept. He switched Tony's nightlight on, turned the overhead light off, and backed out of the room. He left the door open a crack as per usual, not surprised when he turned around and found Phil sitting in the chair with Natasha and Bruce on the couch. Phil was looking as tired as Steve felt.
Bruce smiled briefly at Steve before turning to Phil. "What you do behind closed doors is your own business, and normally I wouldn't care. But in this case, it could help me to determine what will happen to Tony and Clint long term. Just how long have you been age playing, exactly?"
"About two years, but Tony and I are pretty consistent," said Steve.
"Clint and I have been doing it for a little longer, but recently we've been doing it more," said Phil.
"I just thought you were all sleeping together," Natasha said bluntly.
Steve choked. "What?"
She shrugged. "It's Stark. You know his reputation as well as I do. I wouldn't have put anything past him. Or Clint, for that matter. Those two can talk you two into anything. At least now I know why." It might have been Steve's imagination, but he was pretty sure she was smirking a little.
"No, Natasha," Phil said wearily. "It was just meant to be a way to unwind, that's all."
Bruce rubbed his chin and sighed. "I can run some tests, but I'm not sure what to look for. If this were a temporary state of mind, I think it would be easier to snap Clint and Tony out of it. But this is something they're both used to. It's become normal, even natural, to them."
"Won't the drug just wear off?" Steve said.
"It will eventually. All drugs do. But my concern is that the long term effects it might have."
"What are you saying?" Natasha said. She was watching Bruce closely. "Are you trying to suggest that they might... what? Not be adults anymore? Ever?"
"That's a possibility, but a slim one. I'm more inclined to think that it might be harder for them to stay adults. I'm guessing that in the past, their headspaces would've been something they actively had to get into, correct?" Bruce waited for both Steve and Phil to nod before he continued. "It wasn't something that just happened by accident, or if it was that was very rare. That might not be the case anymore. It's just theory at this point, but the drugs could've opened up that connection, loosened their control, and made it much easier for one or both of them to slip."
Considering that Bruce was even bothering to bring this up, Steve suspected it was much more than just a possibility. There had to have been something in that lab report. He exchanged a glance with Phil, not even sure how Tony would handle that - but the answer was probably not well. Even though he wasn't the CEO of Stark Industries anymore, Tony was still such a public figure, and this was such a private matter.
"What's the alternative?" Phil asked.
"Well, there's an equal possibility that they'll wake up and be no different from how they were before. Barring the trauma from what happened, of course," Bruce said, pulling his glasses off and rubbing at his eyes. "Hydra's never been the most technologically advanced company in the world, so I don't see why they'd be any better when it comes to pharmaceuticals. Which, really, is as concerning as it is reassuring. God knows what they put into that concoction to try to make it work. We have the lab results, but the quality of their ingredients and where they came from will always be in question."
"They do have a strong history with fucking around with people's brains," Natasha said quietly, glancing at Steve. He refused to meet her gaze.
"So we wait," he said. "Until Tony and Clint wake up, and then we handle it... however we have to. I don't think I need to tell either of you that none of this leaves the room."
Bruce nodded, and Natasha made a face. "I could have gone my whole life without knowing this about my teammates," she said. "I think I liked it better when I thought you were all having sex."
"Sorry to burst your bubble," Steve said, knowing that she was just teasing. He appreciated the effort; normally, Tony and Clint were the ones who kept things on the team from getting too serious. The two of them were always ready with a joke or a sarcastic comment to break up the monotony. Steve could just imagine Tony leering and offering to have sex with Steve, Clint and Phil if it would make Natasha feel better. An offer which would probably get Tony punched in the arm, but which he would gladly make anyway.
"Bruce, do you have any idea when the drugs will wear off?" Phil asked.
"Based on what I saw on that report, I would think fairly quickly. But again, I'll have to run some tests," Bruce said. He went to stand and nearly stumbled, face suddenly going grey. Steve leapt to catch him, realizing that none of them had really slept or eaten since Tony and Clint had been captured. And then Bruce had transformed into the Hulk, which could completely exhaust him even on the best days.
"You need to eat and rest first," he said firmly.
"Steve -"
"I'll tell you like I tell Tony. You need to be able to think clearly to run tests, Bruce."
"He's right," Natasha said, not unkindly, and rose to take Bruce's arm and support his weight. She helped him to hobble out of the room, leaving Steve and Phil alone.
No conversation passed between them. Frankly, Steve didn't know what there was to say. Too much was up in the air, and no one had any concrete answers. He eventually went back into the room where Tony was sleeping and sat down to watch him. Sometime towards morning, Tony mumbled something and rolled over onto his side. It wasn't much, but it was something and Steve would take whatever he could get. As the sun started to rise, Steve dared to put a hand on his shoulder and give him a gentle shake.
"Tony? Hey, Tony. Can you hear me? Tony?"
Tony's eyes fluttered open, revealing sleep-hazed brown eyes. He stared up at Steve for a long time before he mumbled, "Steve?"
Steve's heart was in his throat. "Hey. Are you okay?"
Tony just blinked at him and then sighed, eyes slipping shut without answering. Steve let him go back to sleep, too weak with relief to do anything but just sit there for a moment. Tony had known who he was. He'd called him 'Steve'. The drug had worn off.
Everything was going to be okay.