Chapter Text
Your name is Equius Zahhak, you don't need any more of an introduction than that, because everyone already has had enough of hearing about your love of musclebeast pornography in the original comic.
You are coming hive from a quite physically and mentally exhausting session with your kismesis and flushcrush. Yes, you're a sad desperate fuck who crushes on other people's kismesis', it's okay, you'll move on with life eventually.
All that aside, as you approach your hive, you hear strange noises coming from inside the already partially open door. What could possibly be going on inside?
You push open the door and step inside cautiously. The sounds are louder now, and you can make out several swears and hisses that sound specifically like... Your moirail? What was Nepeta doing here? And what were you going to do?! She couldn't see you in such a state!
Blue, brown, and purple was smudged all over your legs and your shorts barely covered it. Your striped pants had been left at Tavros' hive on accident, and you hadn't even realized what a mess you were until you took stock of yourself in a mirror.
Oh fiddlesticks
Your hair was kind of stuck to your neck and you still had some smears of purple along your lips. You remembered the way that had got there and you immediately broke out in a sweat.
You ducked into the nutritionblock and set to cleaning yourself up. Purple washed down the drain of he sink with blue and a few streaks of brown. You could just imagine what the floor of the ablution stall would look like when you cleaned the... Rest of your body.
The thought of that Royal Violet spilling out of your nook made your bulge stir in its sheathe again. Fuck this. You decided that you were as clean as you could be, and you needed to get the intruders out of yor house before you could get up to your block and get the material out of your nook.
You straightened your hair and glasses, and then traveled into the sitting room. You were shocked to your core to find Nepeta sitting on top of a very frightened seadweller, her claws bared and ready to strike.
"Nepeta?!" Your voice seemed to break your moirail out of whatever rage she was in because she jumped back at the sight of you. "What in the name of the horror terrors are you doing?"
Her eyes seemed to take in your appearance, a look of dawning understanding on her face. "I... I was just taking care of an intruder for you." She said flippantly, as if she hadn't just been about to rip Eridan's earfins off.
"I thank you for the concern, but I am perfectly able to take care of my own bothersome intruders." You said, eyes dropping from her to the seadweller lying on the floor. It seemed he wasn't quite ready to get up, or he was too scared to.
His earfins were dropped back defensively, and his arms were clutching at his sides, you couldn't be sure, but you thought you might be seeing a few Violet trails down his cheeks. Goodness graciousness, what had she done to him?
You sighed in resignation and walked over to him, bending over and offering him a hand that he didn't take.
He shuffled to his feet, eyes still cast on the ground. "Sorry for botherin ya." Was the only words you heard from him before he was fleeing from your hive. Wel, more like shuffling half-heartedly, arms still clutched to his ribs and earfins drooping.
The door closed behind him and you turned to glare at your moirail, who was trying to look innocent. "What did you do to him, Nepeta?" You asked, more out of concern of the highblood anger stuff than anything else.
"I just tossed him around a little bit." She answered, smiling sweetly enough to make our teeth hurt. "And, maybe, kicked his ribs a few times? He just wouldn't stay down!"
You sighed in resignation and resisted the STRONG urge to facepalm. "This is ridiculous, Nepeta." You grumbled. "I need to cleanse myself, you will either wait here, or leave immediately."
"I'm fine, I'll be going, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She said chipper as can be. "I'll be going now!"
You grumbled and nodded your agreement. "Very well, just leave the seadweller alone." You gave her a pointed glare from behind your glasses and she just nodded before leaving.
You sighed in relief and headed upstairs towards your ablutionblock, so ready to get the material out of yourself.
You easily ignored the niggling thought in the back of yor mind that wondered what Eridan had wanted.
Equius: Be someone else while you clean up.
Be Eridan? Nah
Be Dave? Nah
Be Karkat? Nah
You know what? Fuck you. We're being Dave.