Chapter Text
The morning sun had a personal vendetta with Trafalgar Law.
(Or so Law thought.)
As a matter of fact, the morning rays crossed his windows and landed directly over his eyes, rendering him effectively too annoyed to sleep.
He grumbled. “Siri. Why did you open the curtains?”
“It’s 8 am. We’re Monday.”
“I’m on holidays, Siri.”
His complaints were met with deafening silence.
Fuck it. I need coffee.
Law sat on his bed and felt sore in every inch of his body. He dragged himself to his private bathroom, bent over his sink, and splashed his face. The cold water had the effect of waking him up a bit. When he looked at the mirror, he remembered why he felt so sore.
“Siri… When did Luffy leave?”
“Around 7. He left in a hurry.”
Law felt a pang in his heart.
Shit. He didn’t even want to stay for breakfast.
He looked at himself in the mirror. The sight of his neck made his dick rise. He needed a shower. And a cold one.
He was setting one foot in the installation when his phone buzzed: text notification.
“I left my foundations and contouring palettes in front of your door. If they spend longer than 15 minutes in there alone, I kill you.”
Law took the threat seriously. One, he didn’t want to piss off Ikkaku when she was saving his ass. And two, she could be terrifying when she’s angry.
He hurriedly wrapped his lower half in a towel and opened his door, only to find Ikkaku sheepishly smiling at his face.
“Good morning Captaiiiiiiiiin~”
“No.” He slammed the door at her face.
“Come on Cap’. I can’t deliver the goods if you don’t let me in.”
He could see her smirk from behind closed doors.
The door stayed closed for a few seconds, until she heard the click of the lock opening.
“You have them?”
Ikkaku looked left and right before opening her oversized vest and revealing not one, not two, but 4 contouring palettes safely hidden inside.
Ikkaku beamed. “Pockets.”
Law felt like he was buying drugs. At 8 am. On a Monday.
He sidestepped and let her enter before closing the door.
“Here. I brought you coffee.” She landed him the thermos and, he would never admit it out loud, he loved her for it.
“Thanks”
“Go and wear something, Mr Heartstealer. I’ll wait for you in the bathroom.”
She eyed him as he walked away and thought: “Damn. Why are all the hot guys I know either taken or gay? Life is unfair, really.”
When Law came back, he was in sweatpants and holding what – knowing Law – was his second cup of coffee. His dick seemed to calm down because – Dear God – those pants weren’t hiding anything.
“Fuck you Cap’.”
“Why? I didn’t do anything. “
“Just sit.”
Law obliged and faced the mirror. Thank God Ikkaku was too busy looking at his neck, because since last night, looking at himself in the mirror made him feel…things.
Ikkaku examined his neck, letting the moment float. She then took a step back, balanced herself on the sink, and gave him a smirk.
“Soooooooooooooo, Captain.” Her smirk widened. “How was last night?”
“Horrible.”
“Liar.”
“Tiring.”
“I can see that.”
“I love him.”
“Oh.”
Law hid his face in the first available surface: the marble of his sink.
Ikkaku gently stroked his hair. “ You know… We’ve known that for years. But it’s still weird to hear you say it out loud.”
Law grumbled.
“Was the sex that good?” she asked jokingly.
“Fuck off. I’m not answering that.”
“Oh you don’t need to. I saw the mess in your living room.”
Law felt his face turn burgundy. He wanted to ask what she saw but was too terrified of hearing an answer. Ikkaku broke his dilemma.
“Cap… What’s bothering you?” Ikkaku’s voice was softer than usual.
“You asking questions instead of painting my neck?”
“No Cap’. What’s really bothering you?”
Law blindly grabbed his hat from the pile of dirty clothes next to him and secured it over his head, effectively hiding under it. Fuck women and their womanly instincts.
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“Yeah…”
They both stayed silent until Law decided to speak.
“He left without even saying goodbye. “He pulled his hat even lower on his eyes.
Ikkaku stayed silent. She placed her hand over his head again and gently stroked the fur of his hat. Her captain may be placing walls around himself, but she’ll be damned if she didn’t let him know she was there for him. They stayed like that, Law brooding at the ground, his head between his arms.
“He hates me.”
Law’s voice broke. Ikkaku had never seen her captain so vulnerable.
“He doesn’t, Cap’.”
Law straightened back up.
“Okay he doesn’t! But it’s not like he loves me either!”
Dammit. I’m hopeless.
Law scowled.
“He didn’t stay for breakfast. Do you know how unwanted I have to be for Luffy to not stay long enough for BREAKFAST???
In the long list of men he has in his life, I’m probably at the very bottom. Last night was just a whim. I’m just another dude in the long list of hot dudes he rails."
He WHAT??? Dear God. Focus girl. Focus. Law must be really frustrated if he’s letting out information like that.
“And you know what ? I wish I could just walk away. But then he does shit like kissing my knuckles, or peeling apples for me, or telling me I can be his forever. And I just… can’t.”
Hol…Hol…Hold on. He did what ???? He said what ?????
Ikkaku huffed. She descended from the sink where she was perched, and to Law’s dismay, embraced him in a hug.
“Are you sure you’re not just projecting your self-hatered on him ?”
“Of course I’m not.
“You’re an idiot.”
Law grimaced. He was a lot of things, but an idiot he was not.
Ikkaku did not elaborate further than that. And Law, out of pride, refused to ask.
“Show me your neck. Why do you need to cover it up anyway?”
Law was happy the conversation changed focus.
“I have errands in town.”
“For the association?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re a good man.”
“Fuck off.”
_______________________
When Law finally got home, it was already late in the afternoon. He spent the day running from office to office, and he was running on 2 hours of sleep. He consulted his letters, checking if he had received the authorization he was waiting for and ended up with three love letters in his hand.
He didn’t give them any mind. The only person he loved left him alone this morning and didn’t give him any call. At least the day has been busy. It took his mind off of the whole ordeal.
He bit his lip. He really wanted to cry. He was tired and sleep deprived and lonely. But then he looked at the mirror, and one thing leading to another, he was now moaning on his sofa while rubbing his clothed dick.
He missed Luffy.
He missed him so much.
He wanted to hold him, to smell him, to caress his hair, to kiss his fingers, to kiss him, deeply, passionately, to drink him, like the first raindrops after the drought.
He wished he was there. He wished he could feel him between his fingers, feel his warmth, his skin, his heartbeat.
There was so much he wanted to do with Luffy. There is so much he wanted to share.
He wanted them to make love under candlelight. He wanted them to play video games and cook together. He wanted to dance with him, hide his face in his neck, fill his lungs with his perfume.
He wanted to cuddle with him as they slept in each other’s arms.
He wanted him to be there.
The doorbell rang, startling Law.
Fuck.
“Siri! Normal mode!”
The candle lights where immediately snuffed, the music stopped, and the windows simultaneously opened to let the perfume leave the room.
Law rearranged his dick inside his pants, threw on a tank top, and fixed his hair.
“Coming!”
He pulled his neutral face: years of practice in Grandline Hospitals made it an easy game.
He was confident about it, till he opened the door.
“To-ra-ooooo~”
Torao’s eyes widened.
“Shishishishishi ! Sorry. I left without saying.”
The man standing in front of Law was bearing his widest smile, and a huge hematoma over his left eye.
“What the actual fuck ???”
Luffy casually walked inside, as if the whole situation was normal.
As if Law wasn’t craving him, two seconds ago.
“Sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I watched you sleep all night then I had to catch grandpa before he left for Marigoise. “
Law followed him with his eyes. He sat on the armrest of Law’s couch, legs dangling.
“There was something I wanted to give you.”
Law was too stunned to respond with anything. Did he say he watched him sleep all night?
Law’s ears reddened. He closed the door, grappling his composure back, and faced Luffy.
The shorter man kept talking:
“I thought it would be fast, but grandpa said I can’t have the thing unless I prove I deserve it. He said", Luffy raised his fingers in air quotes, " I have to get him something of equal value as replacement."
He snickered at the thought before continuing:
"I had no idea what that could be, so I asked Robin. I had already suspected it but she said the thing I wanted to offer you was very rare and expensive. I wouldn't have given up anyway, but Robin is amazing. She called a few friends, and came back with the info that this really shady dude had uncle Roger’s Collector sword, Ace. Roger and gramps were old friends. We figured gramps would like that. So Nami proposed we scam the guy and make him bet the sword in a Poker game. She had me and Zoro go with her for safety, but I wouldn't have left her alone anyway. Nami won, obviously. But they were sore losers and didn’t want to give up the sword." He rubbed the back of his neck: a gesture that would have made him look shy, if not for the proud smile he was wearing. "We had to fight our way out of it.”
“Soooo… is that why you have a huge black eye ?”
“Shishishishi nope. Made it out easy. Can’t believe guys that weak got uncle Roger’s sword. But I was late at the meeting with gramps, which made him miss his train. So he hit me for good measure and rambled on how your gramps won’t let him hear the end of it. He was happy about the sword though.”
Law looked at Luffy incredulously. The fact that this crazy story was told so casually burned some circuits in his brain.
“So yeah. Last night you told me about that thing you really wanted to have but never could find. And I actually knew where to find it.”
Luffy pulled a small wooden box from his jacket and handed it to Law.
Law’s heart was racing. Luffy went through all of that just to give him a gift??
As Luffy fell silent, Law started hearing the echo of his own heartbeat.
Did he get me…?
He opened the box. And his breathing stopped.
The Godvalley 3 Berries coin.
Law didn’t know what to say. He just stood there, for a moment, looking at the little treasure in his palms. The color, the size, the sun insignia… it was all in there.
The Godvalley 3 berries coin. Even back when Godvalley still stood, this was a rarity. To have it here, between his hands, was unbelievable.
Luffy seemed to guess his mind.
“Gramps was at Godvalley on the day of the accident. He was there with Sengoku and Roger, on a mission, but they all left a few hours before the explosion.”
It’s probably the last 3 berries Godvalley coin to be on this planet.
“I remember because gramps told us the story a lot of times. He had a lot of other little coins, but he loved the 3 Berries one the most. Because there were three of them that day: him, your gramps, and Roger. And he misses Roger.”
“Why..?” Law almost whispered .
“I dunno. I guess they were good friends.”
“Not that you buffoon. Why did you go that far to offer me that?" He paused. When he spoke again, it was with a strangled voice. "Why are you even offering me that?”
Luffy fell shut. His joyful dreamy expression morphed into a more serious one. His eyes, calm and decided.
Law felt a chill down his spine.
When Luffy opened his mouth, his voice was hoarse and deep.
“Because I am in love with you.” Luffy's expression morphed into a smile.
Huh ?
“I always have been.” His smile widened.
Huuuh ????
“Since the day I met you.” A wide grin beamed on his face. He seemed genuinly happy, a red flush on his cheeks.
Law felt his heart skip a beat.
“I tried to let you know, but you never reciprocated.”
“Wait what? When???”
“Oh. There was that time at Punk Hazard, when we were stuck in a blizzard and I asked if you wanted to have a shower at my place once we were out of that. You flat out refused.”
“Your apartment’s heating system was down. That wasn’t an invitation, that was a death sentence.”
“There was also the time when we were trekking and I broke my leg and you had to bandage it and carry me down the mountain. I asked you if you wanted to have dinner with me that night.”
“Nope. You asked if I could cook you dinner that night.”
“Same.”
“Very different.”
“Okay but what about all the times I shared my lunch with you ?”
Law pondered on an answer to that, but it was actually a very good point.
“Alright. Fair. I’m an idiot.”
Law felt both amuzed and confused.
This conversation was delivering on all he had ever wished for from Luffy. Hapiness overflowed his bruised heart, but his mind refused to dwell in it.
A sense of denial took him. Bullshit...
His anxiety took over. His brain screamed Liar !
But his logical side shut it fast: Luffy can't lie for shit. And he would never lie about something like that.
Those were undeniable truths, but his brain was a loaded minefield.
He could hear a whisper in the back of his psyche: I don't deserve this love. I don't deserve HIS love.. And that voice was taken over by deep rooted...anger ? No. Fear. Fear that he couldn't explain.
“My point, Law..." Luffy's smile faded a bit, a more serious expression on his face.
"My point is after all that, I assumed you had no interest in me. But you came to me that night and asked me to come to your place. You were drunk, but the day after, you asked me again.
I had spent all those years craving you. And you allowed me to kiss you, touch you, and take care of you. I don’t know what changed your mind. But it made me happy.
I was looking for you in every man around. But you invited me to your life. You made me happy.” And as to punctuate his sentence, a large smile drew on Luffy's face.
Law felt…things. Fear was one of them.
What am I even afraid of???
As Luffy spoke, Law backed. He collapsed under the first wall that stopped him.
When Luffy stopped talking, he felt tears build in his eyes. Sooner than he thought, they were already running.
“Torao, are you okay?”
Luffy instantly moved to his side. He cupped his face and swiped away his tears.
I don't deserve this love. I don't deserve his love.
That was his brain.
“Are you sure you’re not just projecting your self-hatered on him?”
That was Ikkaku’s sentence.
For fuck’s sake she's right.
And he was angry.
He was so angry at himself.
But more than that, he was overwhelmed by a viceral fear that he couldn't explain. It sliced his guts. He wanted to curl up and hide, not face it.
He wanted to push Luffy away, to tell him to go home, to not touch him. But his mouth betrayed him. He couldn't speak. So he just curled up on himself, hiding his face between his knees. He was too afraid, too ashamed. Too lonely and too confused. He wanted to scream at Luffy to leave him alone.
But Luffy hugged him.
“You can cry all you want. And you don’t have to answer me today. Do it when you’re ready.”
And so, Law cried ugly tears, pent up frustration leaving his body with every drop.
Luffy hugged him tighter. He stroked his back, caressed his hair, kissed his locks. A wet poodle formed over his shirt, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t the most comfortable position for him either, but he also didn’t care. They would stay like that as long as Law needed.
And they did.
When his tears dried, Law murmured: “I’m sorry.”
Luffy didn’t answer. He kept on rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry I projected my self-hatered on you." He smirked, realizing how pathetic he sounded.
For fuck's sake Law, you could at least use your own words.
"I assumed you didn’t love me. I ignored all the hints." He took a deep breath.
"Deep down I didn't feel that I deserved your love. I craved it on every waking hour but didn’t feel that I deserved it."
He paused then chuckled. His forehead was still resting on Luffy's drenched shoulder. "
To be perfectly honest, I still don't know why you would love me. Or why anyone would, actually."
"We don't need a why, Torao." Luffy's voice was soft. His hand found its way in Law's hair, caressing it. "We just do."
Law froze, Luffy's words echoeing Sengoku's.
Don't try to find a reason for somebody's love, he had said.
Law huffed at the memory. How many times will he have to hear the same lesson for it to actually make sense to his brain ?
Fuck. I might actually be an idiot.
He lifted his head from Luffy's shoulder and looked at the roof, a slight smile drawing on his lips. Luffy let his hands fall from the man's head and back and positioned himself next to him, back to the wall. He nested his hand in Law's open palms. They stayed silent until Law spoke: "Gramps said something like that... a while ago." His smile grew larger. " I was a kid, and a brilliant one. But I was sickly and my grades suffered. And I had a profound conviction Cora-san would put me back in the system if I kept on failing."
"That's stupid, Torao."
Law smirked: "Oh yeah, I know. Dad never cared enough about my grades for that to happen."
"You know that's not what I mean."
"Yeah, I know." Law felt himself blush. He might have been fully clothed but he had never felt this bare. And yet, he couldn't fight the smile that was drawing on his face at the memory of Cora. "Now, yes, I know. But back then I didn't. When the adoption center lady presented me to him, she made a point of how smart I was, how good my grades were, and how well behaved I was. She also purposefully didn't mention I was a sickly kid. I was a poisoned apple. A cursed gift."
Law could feel Luffy's hand tighten around his. And Luffy was angry. But he refrained from commenting, and Law continued his story.
" I tried my best to keep myself at high standards. I studied hard, I behaved well. But when the sickness hit, I couldn't hide it. Dad took me to all the doctors in town. He spent a fortune in meds and clinical explorations. He stayed by my side when the fevers hit. Sleepless nights, anxious mornings...I wasn't the package he asked for."
Law's smirk had disappeared, replaced by eyes lost in sad memories. "I felt like a burden." Luffy squeezed tighter. Law wished he had his hat close by. He wanted to disappear under it. But his mouth kept on talking, faster than his mind could process.
"One night, Cora got a very bad fever. We were already in the hospital because my sickly ass was in recovery again. So when he collapsed, the doctors reacted quicly and swiftly but I..." Law's voice broke. "I thought he was going to die..." He whispered. A scowl was painted on his face, as if he was reliving the day once more.
Luffy held him closer and put a kiss on his temple. He whispered: "You're not forced to tell me, you know ?".
Law breathed: "Yeah... but I want to...".
Luffy put another kiss on his temple before drowning his face in the unruly hair. "I asked the doctor in charge of him. 'Exhaustion', he answered. And that broke me... It really broke me... I couldn't stop the tears. I was a burden. A poisoned apple. I was nothing like the ad said. And I was causing him so much suffering... Why would anyone love someone like that ???? " Law yelled that last sentence, the last 20 years didn't make it hurt less. "So I left. I took my stuff, cleaned my bed, and left the hospital before Cora-san woke up. I walked in the cold wind with a backpack and flimsy shoes," He smirked, "I wanted to get far enough from Cora for him to forget about me. I didn't really care what would happen to me as long as it meant he wouldn't suffer because of me anymore. As long as it meant i didn't buden him anymore. So I walked till I found a dumpster between two alleys. I lit it on fire to stay warm." He paused, a smile tugging the corner of his lips. "The next thing I remember were the lights of the emergency room."
Luffy snorted. "Again, you're an idiot, Torao."
"Yeah, pretty much." Law was surprised at his own laughing tone. "I put myself in deadly danger and found myself in a worse situation than when I started. But in my defense, I was sick and tired. I couldn't put together much of a plan." Law relaxed on the wall. "Sengoku was the one who found me. Turns out, having the army under your command is useful for shit like that. I wasn't out for long though. When I woke up, Cora-san was still unconcious. So Gramps had to give me the talk. The bastard.""He levereged the fact that I was weak and vulnerable to extirpate information from me. " Luffy guessed a hint of a smile under Torao's pout. "He asked me how I felt and I told him everything on my mind." Law's smile was now barely hidden. "And so he just... stayed there silently for a good 15 minutes before he "offered" me rice crackers. He said 'You little fucker need some gluten' before shoving the bag's content down my throat. And when my mouth was too full to answer anything, he grabbed his coat, kissed my forehead, and said," He inhaled as his eyes met Luffy's," 'Don't try to find a reason...for somebody's love'. Then he left dramatically as the nurse was entering the room. "
"Shishishishi. Your family is really cool."
"Yeah... They are." Law's smile was wider than he would ever admit.
---------
He hid his face in Luffy’s neck.
“Since we're on confessions night...The reason I asked you to come the other night was because Eustass-ya dared me.
And I was drunk.
If it weren’t for that, I would have never dared.
When you said yes, I couldn’t believe it, but my crew bullied me to ask again.
And so I did. “
He smiled in Luffy’s neck
“Best night of my life.”
Luffy gave him a soft complicit smile. “Wanna do it again?”
“Hell Yeah. But not tonight. I’m too tired.”
“Tomorrow then.”
“Yeah, tomorrow will do. Do you want to stay tonight?”
“Sure.”
Luffy didn’t wait for Law to add anything before he threw him over his shoulder and transported him to his bedroom.
“I AM NOT A RAG, MUGIWARA-YA!”
Luffy laughed before he threw the tall men on the bed.
“Mind if I take off your pants?”
“Absolutely not.”
“So. What are we doing tonight?”
“Well I was planning on watching you while you sleep.”
“Shishishishishi ! Too bad Torao, I was planning on doing the same thing.”
“I guess none of us is sleeping tonight then.”
Luffy gave him his iconic laugh. “Seems like it.”
Law couldn’t hide the grin that was drawing on his face.
“Hey, Luffy…”
Law’s voice was deep and amused.
He turned on his side to face Luffy. Their faces were inches apart. He could feel his breath, hear his heartbeat.
He leaned in and pasted their lips together.
When he broke the kiss, he looked at Luffy with soft golden eyes, brushed a lock away from his face, and told him he loved him.
“Monkey D. Luffy, I am crazy in love with you. I have been since the first day we met. And I am grateful you are part of my life. Thank you for loving me.”