Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

They’d have to go to the Palace today. Goro knows it. He’s the one who decided it. 

That is only fueled even more by Kurusu being back. Now Goro can truly see how damaged Kurusu is by all of this. He’s been off, that’s for sure. Goro can’t exactly blame him. He’s honestly just surprised it’s taken this long for Kurusu to finally snap. 

Yesterday, everyone had been trying to relax. Goro doesn’t think it went too well, but that’s just him. There always seems to be something , doesn’t there? 

Before they even head for the Palace, everyone sits down to discuss where the Treasure may be or where they should head first.

“I think it’s that book,” Ryuji says, stretching his arms above his head. “I mean, come on, man, wasn’t that thing important to you?” He turns his head to Kurusu, lifting a brow.

Kurusu looks up from some book, clearly having not been paying attention. “Huh?”

“That book?” Ann asks, tilting her head to the side. “But that has nothing to do with Akira’s Palace.”

Ryuji lowers his head and lets out a groan.

“I think Ryuji means the book in Akira’s Palace. We saw the one about the, uh, bonds or whatever,” Morgana informs. His tail swishes back and forth at a steady beat. 

Goro ponders it. That seems almost… too easy. Not to mention… “Why would it have already taken form? Don’t you all send a calling card to make desires manifest or something?” He quickly lowers his hand when he notices he was holding it to his chin. It seems some habits don’t stop easily. 

“Maybe because Akira is aware?” Okumura offers.

Yusuke sighs. “This is all rather difficult to understand. Especially considering Persona users were never supposed to be able to have a Palace.” His eyes are set on Kurusu, scanning his features for whatever reason.

“There was a Shadow guarding it,” Niijima recalls, “right?”

“Yeah!” Ryuji nods his head so fast Goro wonders if he garners a dizzy spell. “Yeah, there was! Plus, what if the Treasure is supposed to seem easy ‘n stuff! Like to trip us up.”

Futaba snickers. “It’s so dumb, it’s smart.”

Goro eyes Kurusu for any reaction. It’s his Palace. He’d have to have some clue, wouldn’t he? Yet he remains silent, eyes trained on the pages of some idiotic book. Goro can’t blame him for not wanting to be useful, but he also wishes he’d say something.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try,” Yusuke murmurs to himself.

Which is true, but Goro also hates being wrong. Part of him wants to be one-hundred percent sure they get the right Treasure, while another part just wants this entire situation to be over with. None of it makes sense and Goro despises things that he can’t figure out.

“Alright, so, we’ll take the book. If it ends up being the Treasure, then that’s good, right?” Morgana asks, bobbing his head around to look at everyone. “And if not, well, at least we tried.”

“Then we just keep looking!” Okumura adds, smiling brightly. Her expressions have a way of lightening the tension in the room if she so desires. 

Goro lets out a huff. He sits up a bit straighter and goes to reach for his phone. “Should we get going then? We have a goal in mind.”

Now Kurusu finally looks up. “You’re all leaving?” He blinks a few times, glances back down at his book, then snaps his gaze back up along with the book shut. 

“Well, yeah,” Ann replies. She gives Kurusu a confused glance, then eyes Goro’s phone. “We… we want you to get better.”

“Exactly!” Morgana stretches on the table. “It’s our duty to help our leader!” 

Goro clicks into the Metaverse app. He needs to wait for this conversation to end so they can get going. They really don’t have a lot of time.. the sooner they change Kurusu’s heart, the better. 

Kurusu stares at Morgana, face blank. “Is that it?”

“Is… what?” Futaba asks. Her eyebrows furrow and her nose scrunches just slightly, utterly confused by the question.

“Duty,” Kurusu answers, unblinking. 

Goro could just about bang his head against the wall at this point. It’s not like they have all the time in the world. Why does Kurusu have to start a fight now of all times? Goro can understand his frustration, but that doesn’t make it any less bothersome. 

It’s been nothing but tension since yesterday. Which Goro gets it, he does. Still, he can’t help being agitated by it. His anger is a fickle thing, igniting at the smallest inconveniences it seems. He knows he has to get over it. To be better, do better, for the people he cares about. It’s … hard, Goro is learning. 

“It’s because we care,” Niijima asserts with a constricted expression. Goro can see her fiddling with the braid in her hair and her eyes are locked on Kurusu. “We want to help you and make sure you’re going to … to get better.” 

Kurusu smirks then, but it isn’t like his usual Joker smirk or even the easygoing one. It’s almost sinister, dark. His eyes are covered by the reflection of light on his glasses. “But you never even asked me if I wanted you all to.” 

Across from Goro, Ann has her hands clenched on the table. Her lip trembles and Goro can tell this is taking a toll on her. On everyone. Around the table, each thief wears a different expression of sadness. It’s almost like they’re being scolded. 

“We…” Morgana’s ears flick back and he keeps his head turned down to the table. “We thought it was for the best. Especially with you stuck there.”

A laugh rings across the room, loud and boisterous—it’s unkind and not withheld in the slightest. Kurusu has a mean expression, lips twisted and nose wrinkled. “So much for unanimous decisions.” He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, book long forgotten on his lap.

Ryuji slouches, losing the spunk that he’s so well known for. “It wasn’t like that, man.” 

Goro finally speaks up, “It’s not just us who are affected by this either. We told you, Kurusu. Whether you like it or not, your…” He can’t help faltering. Kurusu seems like the dangerous one in this equation, but it isn’t like he asked for this. Goro doesn’t think he would use malicious intent like Lavenza said anyway, so that seems highly unlikely. “Your Palace is dangerous,” Goro settles on.

Then those eyes are on him. Goro can feel them more than see them. “I wonder why that is,” Kurusu replies in a snippy attitude. He stands up in a single, fluid motion, dropping the book he’d been reading back on the bed. “Whatever. I shouldn’t have expected anything else from you guys. Since when do you actively consider others?” He smiles, but Goro can see it’s fake. It’s much too pristine, too sweet. “Since when do you actively consider me ?”

“Akira—” Ryuji reaches out a hand, but Kurusu is already walking away and Ryuji ends up just dropping it to his lap. 

The attic is left in silence, aside from Kurusu’s descending steps.

“I feel like our list of apologies is getting longer and longer,” Futaba mumbles. She has her legs pulled up to her chest, eyes cast on the floor. It’s obvious how much of a toll this all is taking on her. Her eyes are sunken in and have a far away look in them.

“It’ll be fine.” Makoto remains diplomatic as always, with her hands clasped together on the table. Even her back is as straight as an arrow. “I’m sure once we steal the Treasure, Akira will understand. We don’t have many options currently, anyway.”

Yusuke nods somberly. “That is true. I understand why Akira is upset, but given what is at stake, I don’t think we can risk it.” His lips dive down. He has a sketchbook placed on the table, along with a pencil in hand, but Goro can’t see much on the page. “For the time being, it seems going against his wishes is the only option.” 

Not many seem pleased with the turn of events, but there isn’t much that can be done. As much as Goro knows Kurusu deserves an input, Lavenza put a lot of pressure on them. One wrong move and there will be another merge. 

“Let’s not waste anymore time and get back to the Palace,” Goro instructs.

~

~

~

Even after everything, the Palace still seems to remain the same. The shadows have regenerated or respawned, so Crow and the others have to fight to get back to the main building, but there aren’t more than they initially faced. 

“It’s odd,” Oracle comments. Prometheus flies above them, watching over the fight and prepared for action. “The security level hasn’t changed at all.”

Crow pauses at that, but quickly has to shake it off so the enemy won’t land a blow. After launching curse damage, Crow asks, “None at all? But don’t we need a high security level to even steal the Treasure?”

What’s the point of them getting to the Treasure if it won’t have an effect?

“I don’t think that’ll be the case this time.” Mona hits the other pixie with a wind attack that doesn’t do much more than normal. “If we’re right, and I hope we are, the Treasure is already materialized. With that in mind, we should be able to enact a change of heart that way.

“It’s … hard to be sure, since this is so different from normal Palaces.” Mona takes out his slingshot alongside the others guns, aiming it at the two pixies.

Crow keeps his gun trained, but still thinks on the topic at hand. “I guess the only thing we can do here is try,” he replies and pulls the trigger.

They launch an all out attack.

A few fights later and they’re finally inside, heading for the ‘Staff Only’ entrance. It all feels so repetitive that Crow zones out for most of it, leaving Loki at the forefront to acknowledge any nearby shadows.

Then they arrive at the display room from last time. Crow still hasn’t seen Kurusu’s shadow once, which is a bit unsettling. There’s no way they’ll be able to take the Treasure without fighting the Shadow. 

“So, we gotta fight this guy?” Skull questions, jutting a thumb in the guard’s direction. It is still standing there, stockstill. “I mean, I ain’t see no other way.”

Noir giggles behind her glove. “We could always try and steal it from behind. Like true thieves!”

The cat certainly seems to like the idea, if his gleaming eyes are any feat. He laughs and meows at the same time, effectively confusing the fuck out of Crow. “That would be quite a glorious display!”

Crow would agree if he didn’t want to rip something to shreds right about now. Every battle so far has been so repetitive . Crow needs a challenge, something fun. Loki seems to curl in his mind, occupying the space and purring for a proper fight. 

“And if we fail?” Crow shakes his head, crossing his arms. “The shadow would get the upper hand and we don’t even know how difficult the fight will be.”

That seems to take the spark out of their eyes. Crow would feel bad, but he knows he’s right. 

“Ugh, whatever, man.” Skull slouches and links a thumb through his belt loop. “Let’s get this over with. I jus’ wanna take the Treasure and go.”

“Crow is right,” Oracle adds. “I know it sucks, but you guys gotta fight a big bad for the prize. Y'know the Metaverse is pretty particular about these things.” 

With a huff, Crow stomps past Skull and towards the guard. It doesn’t register anything, remaining stiff with its baton. Crow is quick to slice its mask off with his serrated sword. The guard melts away in black sludge, revealing its true form.

Of all things, it’s a Shiki-Ouji. Crow isn’t exactly against them, but he doesn’t know what to expect given it will hold the stats of one of Kurusu’s past personas. That, and they usually block curse.

Sorry , Crow thinks to Loki. You’ll have to sit this one out . 

Given the furl of anger that enters Crow, Loki isn’t very happy. He ignores the troublesome persona and brings Robin Hood forward.

“Let’s make this quick, shall we?” Crow asks, slashing out the blue laser of his sword. 

“Woah, looks like the prince is back!” Oracle chimes, laughing from her persona. 

Skull lets out a hoot of laughter. “Been a while, ain’t it? You’ve been usin’ the black mask this entire time.” He grins and elbows Crow’s side, even though he should be in formation.

Crow scowls and keeps his eyes on the target, watching carefully for any movement. “Do we really need to discuss my choice in persona at this very moment?”

“Do you think your outfit will change with every persona you get?” Skull summons his persona, using an electric skill on the enemy. He turns back to Crow after. “That’ll be effin’ cool.”

“I doubt it,” Oracle answers. “Crow awakened to those, which would be different, right? Unless he has to awaken to every persona he gets.”

“Man, nevermind. That would suck.” Skull slouches a bit.

Crow plays ignorant and launches a bless attack that gets blocked. “Tch.” It’s annoying. He should’ve expected that.

“Crow should be able to acquire personas similar to how Joker does,” Mona contemplates. “That would make the most sense, anyway.”

“Perhaps we can let Crow try after this battle!” Noir suggests, launching a Psy attack that gets inherited. She winces and offers a sheepish smile to the others.

Crow shakes his head. He needs to focus and get everyone on board. But first, “I’m hoping this will be our last battle.” He frowns. It’s not the complete truth, given how cathartic these battles are for him. Even so, he knows it should be the truth. “Skull, keep up the electric attacks, Noir, focus on barriers—Psy and physical won’t work on it, and Mona, you can use your wind attacks.” 

“Got it!” Skull, Noir, and Mona acknowledge and are quick to take action. 

The most alarming part is the health and agility. The Shiki-Ouji is rather lithe, dodging attacks left and right. Still, the thieves manage to wear it down eventually.

Once it’s faded to dust, the four of them are heaving for breath. Crow likes hacking at things, but long battles like that just feel pointless. It’s the same attacks in the same routine, just trying to last longer than the enemy. 

“…We did it!” Skull breathes out, hands up in the air in celebration or something. “Now we … we can get the Treasure and get outta here.”

Mona steps closer to the pillar with the book, sniffing and then trying to hop up for a better view. It takes a few tries, but no progress is made. “It doesn’t really … smell like a Treasure,” Mona notes with a grunt.

And that should be a sign, shouldn’t it? Still, Crow can’t help being curious. A guard wouldn’t just be standing there for nothing.

Grabbing the book, Crow is quick to flip through it. The book's cover isn’t unchanging like the actual book, but instead remains that same royal blue with gold details. Inside, every page is blank. 

“We still ain’t able to see with this one either?” Skull complains, leaning against Crow’s shoulder to get a better look at the book.

Crow frowns and shakes his head. There has to be a different reason. It obviously isn’t the same as the book outside the Metaverse—the actual book. This one doesn’t seem as mystical, as bad as that sounds. 

The blank pages might just symbolize that Kususu feels … alone. He doesn’t see any of those bonds as linked anymore. 

“ A bond goes both ways ,” Lavenza had said. 

It’s true, yet Crow feels his chest squeezing tightly. Kurusu shouldn’t have to feel that way. It’s their fault he does. Crow’s heart aches for him, even if he knows he’s one of the main people at fault. Crow should’ve done better from the beginning. Instead he let his emotions get in the way like always.

“This can’t be the Treasure,” Crow realizes with a sinking feeling. 

Mona frowns from the empty pillar (he must’ve finally been able to get up… that, or one of the others helped him). “We have to at least try. Let’s just leave and see what happens.”

“But doesn’t the Palace usually start crumbling down right about now?” Noir asks, tapping her chin in thought. “Plus, we haven’t had to fight Akira-kun’s shadow.”

“Is that really somethin’ we should be complainin’ about? Let’s just get outta here,” Skull encourages, already heading for the door they came in.

Crow can’t help looking over to the other exit. It’s the one Kurusu had left last time. He understands they want to leave and hopefully have this all be behind them, but Crow is curious. He wants to know what’s further that way. Wants to know why Kurusu came from that direction and why.

When he has a hand on the handle, the others are giving him bewildered glances.

“Crow, shouldn’t we be leaving?” Mona’s ears are flitted back already. He must be antsy being here still.

“Just—give me a moment. I want to check something,” Crow replies snippily. He turns the handle and—

And nothing. The doors locked. Of course it’s locked.

“C’mon, dude.” Skull grabs at Crow’s arm and pulls him towards the exit.

They end up walking back the way they initially came. Crow still can’t stop the feeling in his chest, in his gut. He needs to know what was through that door. But if they really have acquired Kurusu’s Treasure then, well … he supposes he’ll never know.

~

~

~

Once they arrive back to reality, everyone is relatively worn out, Goro included. Morgana ended up holding onto the supposed Treasure and when Goro looks for the cat, he’s seated on the table in the attic, book in mouth. It’s a laughable sight, really, but now isn’t the time for laughter.

Setting it down, Morgana frowns down at it. “If this really was the Treasure, it’s form would have changed in the real world. I…” He lowers his head, poking the offending thing with his nose. “I really don’t think this is the Treasure.” His nose twitches.

“It was worth a shot though, wasn’t it?” Ann asks, laughing wearily. She grabs for the book, opening it up and blinking at the barren pages. “I still don’t get why it was guarded if it wasn’t important…”

“It could be symbolic,” Niijima offers at the same time Goro thinks it.

He’d already figured the blank pages were to signify something, so it isn’t a long shot to figure the guard stationed there was as well. Perhaps it symbolized that Kurusu felt the need to hide how abandoned he felt?

“Symbolic of what exactly?” Okumura frowns and stares down at her hands with furrowed brows. 

Yusuke hums. “I believe it could be a metaphor for how guarded Akira—“

“Okaaaaay,” Futaba chimes in, tapping her fingers on the table while her other arm wound tightly around her legs. “So now we have to find the real Treasure, right?” She stares at the table, eyes far away as she thinks. Yusuke is giving her a scandalized look (probably at being interrupted). “It has to be in one of those areas we haven’t seen yet!”

“Ooo!” Ann bursts up, slamming her hands on the table. Everyone startles and turns to face her. “What if we asked his shadow?”

Niijima shakes her head and Goro is right there with her.

He decides to cut in before the brunette can. “I don’t think it would be very bright to trust the one who was trying to keep us from getting Kurusu-kun out of there.” Goro crosses his arms, feeling an anger curl in his chest. He can’t help wishing Kurusu’s shadow were more helpful.

Then again, it could demonstrate how Kurusu views himself… Ugh, all of this was giving Goro a migraine. He knew the Metaverse was complicated, but it seems even now he’s getting new surprises.

“That’s … a good point,” Ann admits and slouches back. “But it still might help us to get an idea? I mean, it wouldn’t hurt.”

Goro can hear steps sounding up the stairs. He holds a hand up to stop anyone from adding anything, looking over and spotting Kurusu. The ravenette has a blank look, simply staring.

“Hey, Akira!” Ann greets.

Futaba looks up, before her eyes dart back down. “Yo,” she mumbles.

More greetings sound, layering over the last. Goro tries not to wince at the racket and simply leans back in his seat. Kurusu walks further into the room after a few moments, but he just looks around the room quietly. 

After a few minutes, maybe longer, maybe shorter, Kurusu halts and lets out a sigh. “I take it your little excursion didn’t go as smoothly as you all hoped?” His eyes look over them and Goro squares his shoulders at the attention.

Something about his gaze … Goro can’t help feeling—

“Akira, I know after everything this isn’t something you’d want to be asked, but…” Morgana starts slowly, words being chosen deliberately.

Still, Kurusu doesn’t seem happy. “Then why ask?”

Goro figures the cat wanted to ask if Kurusu knew about his own Treasure. It’s a valid question, given Kurusu knows himself better than anyone and was even in areas of the Palace they hadn’t seen. But with how their conversation went this morning, Goro isn’t very surprised that Kurusu doesn’t want to even be asked.

Morgana stumbles. “I—I didn’t mean it like that … I just … We could use your help.” His ears flip back and for a moment Goro can’t help finding his expression close to a kicked puppy (which is weird, considering he’s a fucking cat). 

There’s a short, cut off laugh that lacks any real humor. Kurusu leans against his work desk, arms crossed. “Could you now?” He sounds almost teasing.

“We’re doing this to help —“ Niijima begins.

“Right.” Kurusu scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Because rather than talking things out, you’d all prefer to use a method that will just make all the ‘problems’,” he does air quotes, “disappear.”

“That’s not it!” Niijima retorts with conviction, standing up from her seat.

Okumura frowns and places a hand on Niijima’s arm, possibly in an attempt to calm her down. “Akira-kun, given the circumstances, it seems like the best option is changing your heart. Especially if talking it out doesn’t go well.” 

“You’re already being close minded,” Niijima points out. “Not to mention, that method has only worked once.”

“Close minded?” Kurusu asks in a disbelieving tone. He bounces off the desk, face set in a firm glare. “Since I’ve gotten out of there, you’ve all done nothing but ask for my help . You never even asked if I was okay. You expect me to be all sunshine and rainbows?” 

“N-No, of course not.” Futaba hugs her legs just a bit tighter, face scrunched with worry. Or maybe it’s guilt.

Ryuji’s head is ducked down, facing the wooden floor. “Dude, it wasn’t like that. We just … want you to get better.” He rubs at his neck. It’s probably some nervous habit.

Kurusu’s hands clench at his sides. “Yeah, well, good luck working that out.” He shakes his head and starts walking off towards the stairs. 

“Wait, Akira!” Morgana yowls after him, hopping off the table and following him down the stairs.

The attic is left in silence. Goro should be used to the tension with how common they’ve been these past few days. Even so, he finds himself cringing slightly. Part of him desperately wants to fill the silence, say something just to fill the air. 

He wouldn’t know what to say anyway. Best to leave things as they are.

“What do we do then? We have to find that Treasure before it’s too late.” Niijima’s hands clench on her knees and she’s biting her lip.

Goro sighs and leans back in the chair. It does little to relieve any tension. “We do only have a month..” He taps his chin, trying to think.

They need to fix this, while also making sure Kurusu comes out of this okay. Goro has never been fond of the change of hearts. They’re just taking a part of someone away. For the longest time, he viewed it as lobotomy—changing someone’s thoughts and feelings. Goro still isn’t sure if that opinion has changed. (Yet he still finds himself helping the Phantom Thieves of Hearts anyway.)

Is Kurusu right? Should they have only entered the Palace to simply look for him, then talk the rest of it out? Goro knows Sae’s change of heart was through her own force of will. 

But there is still the point of if Kurusu’s distortion could even be altered. Could Kurusu be swayed simply with words and empty promises? Goro doesn’t think so. And the world is at stake too.

“It seems all we do is push Akira away,” Yusuke notes. He has a distant look in his eyes, staring at a sheet of paper he’s suddenly acquired, but not doing anything with it. 

“I’m glad he’s safe, but I’m still worried.” Ann seems to shrink in on herself. Her eyebrows furrow and she doesn’t make eye contact with anyone. She’s usually so optimistic that it throws Goro off to see her so downtrodden. “I mean, he’s right, isn’t he? We all should have talked to him. Instead we were so caught up in finishing the Palace that we didn’t even think to ask how he’s doing.” 

Okumura nods along, as tears spring to her eyes. “He must feel so alone. Those acts we saw—this is just like them. We all felt sickened watching them, yet—yet we turned right back around and did the exact same thing.” 

Horrified looks flood the room. 

To be compared to something like that—to realize that, even if not physically, they’ve been hurting Kurusu mentally—it’s distressing. Goro has long since gotten over his desire to see Kurusu in pain. He never actually enjoyed it in the first place. It was always a win-lose situation for Goro. He needed to win over Shido for his plans, but Shido ordered Kurusu’s death. 

(From the first time Shido had informed Goro of the task, Goro didn’t like the idea. It filled him with a sense of dread. He was okay with the downfall of the Phantom Thieves, but was killing a teenager really necessary?

Goro had never killed someone in reality either. Even the thought terrified him.

Maybe it was then Goro realized his mother wouldn’t have wanted this.)

“What’re we ‘posed to do?” Ryuji asks, letting out a huff of air. He has his arms on his legs, holding up his upper body weight but slouching all the same. “It’s not like we can go back in the past. I think we just gotta make up for it or somethin’.”

“But how? Like Futaba said this morning, our list of apologizes is piling up. We can’t just ignore it and hope it will go away,” Ann chimes in. She frowns down at the table and Goro can see her lip quivering. After a moment she shakes her head. “We should start making up for it now. Even if we’re going through with the Palace.” When she looks up, her expression is fierce. That fire of hers seems to be back in full force. 

Yusuke hums in agreement and taps his pencil to his cheek. “I must agree.”

“But how?” Futaba whispers. She scoots herself back, burrowing further into the back of the couch she’s sat on. Goro frowns at the sight. “What if—What if Akira won’t forgive us? What if, after everything, Akira has had enough? He needed us and we just … we blamed him.” She swallows, eyes brimming with unshed tears. “For so much,” she adds like an afterthought. 

It’s hard to recognize how … young most of them are. Futaba is only fifteen, of course she doesn’t know how to deal with all of this. Goro can tell how scared she is. Kurusu is like a brother to her and now she might lose him. 

Ryuji shakes his head and pounds his fist on the table. “No. Akira ain’t the type to just… He’ll hear us out and we’ll all do better ‘n shit.” 

“Y-Yeah!” Ann agrees, a bit too quickly. “We all just need to do better from here out.”

Steps sound up the stairs. Numerous heads turn to find Amamiya of all people. It’s a bit surprising it’d taken him so long to arrive, given they’ve been out of the Palace for quite some time. 

More shocking is Sae ascending the steps behind him.

“Hello, everyone. Would you all mind following me downstairs?” Sae seems worn out. “I have some … unfortunate news to share.”

Whatever that is, it’s enough to startle everyone into standing and heading for the stairs. Sae doesn’t waste any time either and begins her descent.

Goro feels uneasy at the addition of ‘unfortunate’ news. What could Sae possibly have to inform them?

When he arrives down the stairs, he can see Boss and Kurusu behind the counter. Kurusu is chatting with the older man, smiling and chatting as he makes coffee. Goro thinks he’s … glad to see that smile. It’s soft. Happy. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Kurusu’s real smile. Is this it? Free, stretching across his face like it belongs there. 

“You should probably sit down for this, Akechi-kun,” Sae tells him, voice almost motherly.

Goro shakes off his thoughts and moves to sit down in a booth alone. Ann shoots him a glare from where she apparently had been waving him over. (Not that Goro would have sat there anyway. Amamiya is in the seat across from it.)

“Alright, well…” Sae inhales and seems entirely uneasy about sharing whatever it is. She makes eye contact with Goro. “It’s about Shido.”

That causes quite the stir. The group erupts into different exclamations.

Goro feels his heart rate pick up. Amamiya doesn’t look shocked, so Sae must have told him on the way here it seems. 

“What is it?” Niijima questions, effectively silencing all the side conversations and random bursts of exclamations. Ever the diplomat.

“You see,” Sae starts, but pauses. Her eyes falter from Goro’s gaze, lowering. She’s apprehensive. Why? “His sentence has been decided.”

Oh no.

If this is bad news, that means his sentence is unsatisfactory. Especially if it’s deemed as such by Sae . 

Goro can feel his stomach constrict and his blood starts pumping. His heartbeat can be heard in his ears, which is a bit concerning. He strains to hear the rest of Sae’s statements.

“Five years in prison,” Sae tells them. “Although, he is eligible for parole. If the prison mentions he’s … well behaved, his sentence can be shortened to two years, with three of community service.”

Again, the room erupts with discussions.

Goro can’t hear anything. Everything sounds so muffled, so far away. 

He’s failed. 

After everything he’s been through, he’s failed . He’s failed his mother. He’s done everything he can to make her proud, to avenge her (even if he knows those actions were repulsive, were destable), yet it was for nothing. 

It’s sickening. It’s grotesque.

Goro’s mind is reeling. It’s so loud, that of course it makes sense he can’t hear the others. Can’t see their worried glances. 

His chest hurts. His heart hammers in his ears.

“Please tell me you’re joking, Sae-san,” Goro utters, broken and weak.

Sae shakes her head, apprehensively. 

Something breaks.

Goro stands from the booth, slamming his hand down on the table. (Multiple people jump.) “That’s—That’s idiotic! I knew the justice system was lacking, but you’re telling me with all of that evidence they still only convicted him with five measly years?” 

He must be yelling if the shocked glances are anything to go by. Goro can hardly hear over the roaring of his heart. Thump, thump thump !

“And of course he’ll get parole! His heart is changed! But he deserves to rot ! How dare they even—even think he should be released..” Goro’s chest heaves. He feels bile rising in his throat. “That sentence is nothing! Nothing!”

“Goro, you need to calm down…” Ann whispers. “Take a deep breath, okay?” She sets a hand on his arm, suddenly standing beside him (when did she get there?).

Goro slaps her hand away, glaring daggers. She didn’t get it. Kamoshida’s sentence was much longer. He’s gotten what he deserves, he’s going to die in that prison.

Yet Shido, who has done worse things than Kamoshida, gets to be freed after a few years. Shido, who ruined Mama’s life by giving her Goro. Shido, who killed Mama. Shido, who…

Who turned Goro into a monster.

“I don’t need to calm down ,” Goro hisses in reply. He starts storming for the door, not casting anyone a glance.

Morgana steps in his path. Hardly a roadblock. “Where are you going?” The cat gives him, what appears to be, a glare.

“To get my gun. I’ll kill that bastard myself.” Goro sidesteps the cat, only to have Ryuji in his path now. Joy . 

“C’mon, man. Sit down and think about this. Don’t let ‘im control you like that.” 

“What encouraging words.” Goro glares and shoves past the blond. “Trust me, it’s of my own volition. That piece of shit doesn’t deserve to be breathing. I’ll do it with my bare hands if I have to.”

“Akechi, that’s…” Amamiya’s voice gets his attention. He’s wringing his hands, eyes cast to the door. “I know it’s upsetting, but killing him won't do anything. It will only make you as bad as him.”

Which Goro knows is unfortunately true. He’s done enough dirty work for Shido to sully his hands and now Goro wants to sully them more. Give it to Amamiya to know exactly what to say, even when Goro doesn’t deserve it.

Goro huffs, shoulders lowering from their raised, tensed form. “Fine. I’m still leaving though. I need … air.” He turns and leaves, luckily not getting stopped this time.

Yongen-Jaya is much too familiar now. Goro knows the ins and outs with how often he’s been visiting these past few months—this year , really. It holds good and bad memories.

To think if Goro never met Kurusu, his life would be much different. Goro … is glad. Even if Shido is still breathing, still not getting everything he deserves and more, Goro knows his heart is changed. He won’t hurt anyone anymore.

But is that really the case? Goro knows he doesn’t like the idea of changes of hearts, but he also isn’t sure how long they stick. What if Shido is released from prison, only for those desires to be reignited? What if he hurts someone else?

Goro feels anxiety gnaw at his chest. He can’t stand the unknown. Goro knows he’s a know-it-all. He just … hates the feeling of something being undiscovered, uncharted. He’s always done anything in his power to figure it out. 

That’s what he’d done with his father, after all. Goro’s mother never said Shido’s name. She didn’t want to utter it and Goro doesn’t blame her. Yet Goro hated not knowing. For years, it irked him to just have a blank.

He knew the man was despicable, knew the man ruined his mother’s and his own life, yet he didn’t know the man . It took a lot of searching, but Goro is nothing if not persistent. 

Can Goro really leave this alone now? 

Part of him feels betrayed. He trusted Sae to carry the rest out. To accomplish what he couldn’t in the court of law. 

He knows it isn’t her fault. She can’t control such factors, especially with Shido’s status as a politician. Plus, if Shido’s own words claiming his crime weren’t enough to sentence him, then what more could Sae have done?

Huffing, Goro’s legs carry him to the train station. He finds himself heading for Kichijoji without even thinking about it.

It’s once he’s heading down the stairs of Jazz Jin that Goro realizes this is where he’s gone. Of course , he thinks. Where else would I go? Home ? 

Muhen gives him one look before his face morphs to concern. Jerking his head to one of the seats at the bar, he says, “Sit down, kid. I’ll make you a drink. Sure looks like you need it.”

Goro plops into a seat, before pushing his hair back. He still feels the anger coiling and sticking to him like flames. 

“Want to talk about it, distraction, or to stew in your dread?” Muhen asks, grabbing for a cup.

Instead of an answer, Goro asks Muhen for an alcoholic beverage. He doesn’t drink often, or at least of his own volition. Shido used to make him drink at events (it was a way for Goro to appear older, more approachable). Goro just … doesn’t want to think anymore. Wants to take away the feelings that just won’t go away.

Muhen’s brows furrow. “I didn’t mean that kind of distraction.” He turns, starting to take out ingredients for whatever it is he’s making. “You don’t like drinking, remember?”

Goro’s stomach churns. Muhen knows him much too well and, while the thought is warming, Goro just wants to forget everything for one night. His life is fucked lately. 

“Not particularly,” Goro replies, pleasantly.

“Then why try now?” Muhen glances back, giving Goro a look, before turning his head back. Goro can see he hasn’t put any alcohol in the blender. Asshole . “Just tell me what happened, kid. I’m all ears.”

He presses the button on the blender, which makes loud noises as it blends the different ingredients. Muhen doesn’t seem bothered and Goro is far too used to it.

When Muhen starts pouring the drink, Goro says, “Someone who has … done a lot of bad, wasn’t given a proper punishment.” 

The cup is placed in front of him. Goro always admired how nice Muhen made the drinks look. Plus, they never tasted half bad either. Goro doesn’t know if he can stomach it right now, unfortunately. Still, he finds himself leaning forward and taking a large gulp of the blended drink.

Humming, Muhen leans on the counter. Not close enough to Goro, but still in ear shot. “Have they hurt you?”

Hit the nail right on the head. 

“Perhaps.” Goro sips more of the drink to avoid explaining further.

Muhen keeps his eyes on him, a bit obscured with the blasted sunglasses the man wears. After a moment, he smiles softly. “The world really isn’t fair, is it?” 

Shaking his head, Goro stares down at the yellow drink in his cup. “It never is.”

“Y’know … I’ve had a few times like that too.”

Goro lifts his gaze. He can’t help being curious. 

“I mean, there was the one time with the robber here. You helped with that,” Muhen affirms. “I guess that time I was lucky that you could get him to atone.” 

Ah, right. Someone had pulled a gun on Muhen, attempting to rob the Jazz Jin. Goro had stopped the man and even carried through with his arrest. It was hard getting the police department to take it seriously, but Goro managed. 

“But there were some other times that I wasn’t so lucky.” Muhen strokes at the hair on his chin, deep in thought. “I’ve also had some pretty unreliable people in my life.”

Goro nods along. He can understand that a little too well. Goro never had anyone. Even in foster homes, he could never get close to people. They would only hurt him or misjudge him. He never had anyone until … well, until he met Kurusu. 

“I actually got disowned by my parents before openin’ this place,” Muhen confesses. He doesn’t seem too bothered. “I think that’s what pushed me to do it though.”

Frowning, Goro lowers his eyes to the countertop. “Welcome to the shitty parent club,” he grumbles, waving one hand.

Muhen actually laughs. “Yeah, I bet. What happened with yours?”

Clutching the glasses a bit tighter, Goro wonders if he should tell. It’s terrifying to share parts of yourself, parts of your life story. Muhen said a small snippet of his own, but is that really a reason for Goro to prattle on?

“My mom was good,” Goro says. “She was very caring, but … she lost her life when I was young.” He swallows and eyes Muhen’s reaction. The man just seems to be listening, no pity in the slightest. Goro continues, “My father is a piece of shit who is getting away with only five years of prison.”

Muhen hisses, drawing back from the counter. He grabs a cup, using a tap to fill it with water. “That’s gotta be tough.” 

“I just … I don’t see how he can get away with everything. The legal system is a joke.” Goro clenches his hands into fists, feeling that fiery anger reignite. “He was a wolf in sheeps clothing for so long, but even once that wool was pulled away, people still won’t dismiss the lies he told. They’re too blind to see the lives he’s affected, the lives he selfishly took.”

Eyes wide, Muhen nods. He’s lowering the water glass from his mouth. “Jesus, kid. This guy sounds like he should be in prison a lot longer if he killed people.” 

“That’s exactly my point,” Goro grits out. “I just—I don’t know what to do. I worked hard to…” his words fall off. Goro can’t exactly reveal the entire scheme he’d cooked up for revenge on his father. He’d sound insane.

“Hey, I get it.” Muhen sets the glass down next to the sink. He steps in front of Goro’s seat, staring him down. “It isn’t your responsibility anymore though. You did what you could. Sure, it sucks, but why are you going to let him take more from you?”

Goro feels himself relax. The fire that was burning, constricting, and curling around his chest is now a pleasant warmth. Muhen is right … Goro has been entirely too focused on making Shido amend, on making him pay, that he hadn’t thought about how much he’s taken from him. How much time he’s taken, how much innocence Goro no longer has. 

“Thank you, Muhen.”

A ring of laughter sounds and Muhen places a hand atop Goro’s head, ruffling his hair. The action makes Goro’s cheeks warm. “You don’t have to thank me, but anytime. I hate seeing you so down. That smile of yours makes it worth it.”

Goro ducks his head, trying to hide the smile playing at his lips. Muhen is so annoying . (Yet part of Goro wonders if this is what a true father figure is like.)

“Now drink the rest of your drink, before it melts.” Muhen grins and draws his hand back. He’s done his job of making Goro’s hair a mess. “The singer isn’t here today, but I know you still appreciate the band.” 

Nodding, Goro brings the drink closer to take a sip, using his other hand to pat down his hair. He hadn’t been able to enjoy the music since he got here, given he was much too upset to listen. Now that he’s actually giving it his attention, each note seems to release tension Goro didn’t know he still had.

Goro makes a mental note to stop by more often.

-

There’s talk in chat about them going to the Palace again soon. They’ll need to find the real Treasure this time. Even so, the group stresses making amends to Kurusu. Whatever that means.

However, they won’t be going today. 

Goro doesn’t know whether to mourn or be glad. He isn’t excited about opening the can of worms that is one Kurusu Akira. He had enough of a roller coaster the previous day.

Amamiya tells Goro he has plans with Okumura. Okumura seems to be making more of an effort this time, for whatever reason. Still, it isn’t Goro’s business, so he just nods in reply. 

He’s just glad Amamiya actually told him where he’s going and what he’s doing. Goro doesn’t know how long he could take the silent treatment.

Goro doesn’t really have plans for the day, but decides he should go out anyway. Moping at home, while appealing, wouldn’t get rid of his restlessness.

With Mementos gone, Goro can’t exactly blow off steam on unsuspecting shadows. He can’t exactly go into Kurusu’s Palace either. 

Maybe he can pay a visit to the Velvet Room? But Goro doesn’t exactly know how . 

That leaves getting supplies for when they do enter the Palace. They aren’t exactly low on them, but Goro just needs a set task. He could possibly even go to the bookstore. A new book would be nice.

He first heads to a pharmacy in Shibuya. Goro knows a few of the set names, given he had to get them when he was working solo. Even so, he’s never had to get them in bulk. Having a group is definitely different. No wonder Kurusu’s bag was always so heavy. Goro had just thought Morgana weighed a lot.

After getting the items, Goro heads for the bookstore down the street. He’s filled with excitement at the thought. It’s been a while since he splurged on a book. He’s usually so busy, so he doesn’t get much time to read them.

Hopefully that’ll change.

Heading for the mystery section, Goro walks right into someone. He blurts out a robotic apology, before looking up and being met with glasses and a mop of black hair. 

“Oh, hey,” Kurusu greets, a grin spreading across his face.

“Hello,” Goro replies. He goes to sidestep Kurusu, but the other follows the motion. Goro frowns and gives him his best neutral look. “Is there something you need?”

“Nothing.” Kurusu shrugs.

Goro makes his way around the boy, heading into the aisle and glancing at the rows of books. He wants a challenge this time. Goro has found a lot of his current mysteries are too easy. 

But when he places his hand on a book, he can feel a presence still looming behind him. 

“I should’ve known you’d like mystery,” Kurusu quips, teasingly.

When Goro turns to face him, book in hand, he spots Kurusu’s mischievous expression. It’s annoyingly cute. “Yes, I do. Now, may I help you?”

“Geez, Akechi.” Kurusu holds his chest, wounded. “You make it seem like I’m bothering you or something.”

Goro frowns. “No, that wasn’t…” Great, now he’s making Kurusu feel unwelcome. He should probably fix that. “I don’t care,” he settles on. Squirming a bit, Goro clutches the book a bit closer to himself.

Kurusu lifts an eyebrow. When Goro doesn’t say anything else, he slithers closer, bringing his face a good foot from Goro’s. “You were so angry yesterday. Where’d that all go?” His eyes trail up and down Goro’s face, almost searching. Still, he seems playful.

But of course he’d bring that up. “I had time to cool off,” Goro replies, neutrally.

“Oh?” Kurusu looks and sounds almost disappointed.

Goro rolls his eyes. “ Yes .” He sounds a bit too exasperated. Oh well. “But if you want me upset, you’re well on your way.”

For whatever reason, Kurusu’s eyes darken and his lips curl, showing teeth. “Is that a challenge?” he whispers, voice husky and just for Goro to hear.

Ugh, Goro needs to get a grip. Kurusu probably didn’t even mean it that way. Besides, he wants to annoy Goro, not— whatever . 

“I’m going to get this book now,” Goro takes a step back, out of Kurusu’s orbit, and starts for the other end of the aisle. “I’ll see you, Kurusu-kun.” He waves a hand lazily.

Kurusu waves back, keeping that same grin locked on his face. Charming bastard .

Goro goes to pay for his book.

-

He briefly ponders stopping by Untouchables. The last time he’d gone for new equipment, the older man didn’t seem to hold a grudge in the slightest. It’s as much a relief as it is irritating.

Before Goro can even step towards the shop’s door, a blue light catches his eye. Turning, Goro spots Lavenza outside the same blue door he’d seen previously.

“Hello, Goro,” Lavenza greets with a curtsy. She smiles softly. “May we talk?”

Goro glances towards the airsoft shop.Figuring he probably doesn’t need to get any new supplies anyway, Goro turns away and walks towards Lavenza. “I suppose I have time.”

Her smile brightens and she opens the door behind her, making a gesture for him to walk in.

Oddly enough, when Goro enters, he opens his eyes to the courtroom before him. Isn’t this where Igor sat before?

“Congratulations,” Lavenza begins. “You are now able to fuse, Goro.” She stands before him, looking up. Her golden eyes shine brightly with mirth. “You have acquired two solid bonds currently, along with more on the rise. I look forward to observing your progression.”

“Yes, you have achieved quite the feat.” Igor is sat where the jury is usually located, eyes locked on Goro and hands folded in front of him.

Lavenza clasps her hands behind her back, her book set down on the desk in front of Goro. “To acquire new Personas, you may preform a similar method to that of my Trickster.”

“You mean like … collecting them?” Goro frowns and furrows his brows. He always admired how Kurusu would talk and sway shadows in the past. Still, could he really accomplish such a feat?

“Yes, that’s right.” Lavenza bobs her head. “With Mementos gone, I gather this might prove difficult. Even so, you should still be able to acquire the shadows in Kurusu Akira’s Palace.”

That thought makes Goro’s stomach sour. All the shadows in Kurusu’s Palace had the stats of Kurusu’s own Personas. It felt … wrong to collect them. 

Still, Goro nods along. He doesn’t exactly get how the fusions work, but he supposes he’ll find out. “And for the fusions you spoke of?”

Lavenza smiles. “You are very quick-witted, aren’t you? Yes, fusions are a process you may undertake once you have two Persona.” She eyes him for a moment, before nodding. “You could fuse Robin Hood and Loki if you so wish?”

Mulling the thought, Goro is left unsure. They’re both parts of himself, parts he doesn’t know if he should merge. Robin Hood was Goro’s first Persona … the one that made him feel less alone in the world. Then there’s Loki, who made Goro feel powerful. Untouchable. Loki promised that Goro could take on the world, on Shido , and Goro believed it. 

“I…”

Could Goro really fuse them? Turn his two halves into one? As of late, he has blurred those lines. He thinks he’s finding out who he truly is. Maybe … Maybe this will help with that. He’ll gain a new Persona that will understand him as a whole, rather than just half of who he is. 

“Yes,” Goro agrees. “Yes, let’s do that.”

Lavenza smiles a kind smile. Her eyes soften and brighten. “A good decision. Let us begin the process.”

Suddenly, Robin Hood is standing at the plaintiff’s table and Loki at the defendant’s. They don’t seem upset, but Goro supposes they have no reason to be. 

Taking a step towards the two Persona, Lavenza opens a hand to each of them, palm up. Goro watches with rapt breaths as they transform, becoming orbs of blue light. Suddenly, Lavenza is turning around with one in each hand. Her steps are light as she makes her way to the stand. 

She steps to the end of the desk Goro is sat at. A scale sits, plain and unassuming that Goro hadn’t even noticed it originally. Lavenza places each light on an opposite end of the scale.

For a few moments, the scale tilts one way and then the other. It’s as if it’s weighing out the options. In the end, it balances out and the orbs seem to grow brighter.

Goro winces at the light, nearly not witnessing when the lights expand and float off of the scale. They swirl around the room, as if in a dance. The sight leaves Goro in a trance, watching as they chase the other and grow.

They’re beside Lavenza when they merge, becoming one. Becoming brighter, bigger. Goro watches as the being starts to take shape.

It, oddly enough, really does seem like a combination of Robin Hood and Loki. The bow that Robin Hood commonly carried has now morphed and is no longer gold, but black. There’s the darkness of Loki, but the build of Robin. Still, Goro can’t help feeling the Persona’s presence is a warm one. It’s not a blazing inferno like Loki, but a gentle burning. 

Even with the red eyes, Goro feels a warmth settle in his chest.

I am Hereward. 

Let us sow chaos as far as the eye can see .

Before Goro can react, Herward collapses into light, springing into Goro. It’s such an odd sensation, but something seems to right itself. 

“If you wish for your previous Persona, you may pay for them using yen,” Lavenza informs. She has a small smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes. “I understand you will need as much power on your side as possible.”

Goro nods his head. He does like the idea of having Robin and Loki as a security blanket of sorts. “How much?”

Lavenza’s smile sharpens. “Smart question, Goro.” She strides to the center of the desk and opens the book. Right away, it lands on the correct page. 

On the left, Robin Hood is featured, including skills and stats. On the right, Loki is displayed. Prices are also given on each page. 

Of course they’d make Goro pay . With a huff, Goro waves a hand at Lavenza. “This is fine. I’ll do it.” He pauses, thinking. “How exactly does the transaction occur?”

“Done,” Lavenza replies after a moment. 

Goro blinks at her.

“The Metaverse and Velvet Room work differently than reality.” Lavenza shrugs, a motion so awkward on her. She holds herself so elegantly, yet the action is so … inelegant. (Goro assumes Kurusu taught her such behavior, the idiot.) “Your Personas will return to you, but you may keep Hereward from here on.”

Goro holds back a sigh of relief. For some reason, the idea of losing his initial Persona doesn’t sit right with him.

He glances down at the book still laying before him. Bringing a hand to turn the page, Lavenza stops him.

“If you have any questions, I can answer them. However, I cannot allow you to look through this, as I am the guide.” Lavenza frowns at him, as if offended.

“Alright.” Goro retracts his hand and squares his shoulders. “Then tell me about those … bonds or whatever.”

Lavenza’s smile returns pretty quickly, almost like a switch getting flipped. “Yes, an excellent choice of subject.” She brings a hand, switching the page of the book. There doesn’t seem to be any specific order to the book, so Goro figures it’s magical and only Lavenza can use it. No wonder she didn’t want him messing with it. “Each of your confidants, or … I suppose … bonds? Whatever you prefer to refer to them as, I suppose…

They will aid you in your journey. As you acquire new Persona, you can use them as fusion fodder. These bonds,” she points to the page where a ‘bond’ is displayed (Sae’s apparently), “will come in handy for the fusions. As your bond increases, you will be able to fuse a higher level Persona in that arcana.”

Ah, right. Kurusu had everyone listed under different arcana. Goro supposes he’ll have to do something similar.

Sae is listed under Empress, whatever that means. 

“I see,” Goro whispers, unsure how else to reply. He knows he can’t hyperfixate on these bonds. Sure, they might help, but Goro has been fine on his own. Having them should be enough to allow the fusions. 

Lavenza closes the book. “I trust you will be responsible about this. Please, visit anytime you want to fuse or ask questions. I will also aid you with healing and stamina recovery.” She curtsies. 

It’s relieving to know he has the extra support. They can’t visit a bunch in the Palace, given the Velvet Room is located at the entrance, but the option is nice nonetheless. Goro wants to get stronger, too. Now he has a way to. He just needs to acquire new Personas … even if that seems entirely too daunting.

Whatever. Goro will be fine.

“Thank you,” Goro answers.

Igor chuckles from his seat. “We’re putting our trust in you, just as you are with us. Don’t doubt yourself or those close to you.”

The encouragement makes Goro a bit antsy, itching to get started. To take action. He always has been the type to want to be doing something, but it seems it’s amplified now. 

“Yes,” Goro replies, nodding his head. “Just do whatever it is you do, and I'll play my part. Don’t disappoint me.”

Igor’s eyes widen. “Ah, yes, of course.”

Lavenza giggles behind her hand. Her eyes glow. “And we will do our part, as well. Do not fear, Goro.” She pauses. “Shall I escort you out?”

Nodding his head, Goro follows after Lavenza to the exit. It seems he’s finished everything here for the day.

-

The walk to the station is silent, as Goro makes his way through crowds. His thoughts run rampant on how he is to acquire new Persona. He couldn’t care less for the bonds, but the Personas are what will come in handy. Adaptability, Goro has learned, is important for the Metaverse. 

Especially in Kurusu’s Palace, where every shadow they face could have a different weakness. Goro has to be prepared for anything.

Goro is heading down the road towards his apartment, when a voice startled him from his thoughts,

“You’re awfully lost in thought.”

He turns to find Amamiya. What’s more odd is the soft look on his face. 

He’s not still mad ? 

“I … suppose so,” Goro hesitatingly replies. He isn’t exactly sure how to approach this. He’s glad that Amamiya seems in high spirits again (at least towards him), but he’s left feeling so unsure. 

Amamiya draws closer, eyes locked on Goro. His gaze is rather intense, even with the glasses on his nose. “You look tired.” A hand brushes Goro’s cheek and Amamiya uses his thumb to rub beneath his eye.

The action is so utterly affectionate that it makes Goro draw a blank. He stupidly leans his face into the hand. 

Instead of being upset, Amamiya’s smile just lifts. 

“Ye—Yeah.” Goro swallows. He feels lost for words all of a sudden. “Yes. I am.”

Amamiya laughs and comes closer, which is weird considering there already wasn’t much room between them. It isn’t long before Amamiya’s face is tilting and—

Oh.

Oh . 

Goro doesn’t know how to feel. Doesn’t know what to do. 

Amamiya is kissing him.

Why the fuck is Amamiya kissing him?

But Goro can hardly think when Amamiya’s hand moves to gather Goro’s hair, tugging him closer. Goro makes a startled noise, which happens to open his mouth and give Amamiya access. 

Goro brings his hands to grip at Amamiya’s sleeves, he just has to hold something . He suddenly feels woozy. Amamiya never kissed like this before.

Amamiya shouldn’t be kissing him at all.

With the thought, Goro moves his hands to Amamiya’s chest, pushing him away. He tries not to glare, tries not to seem too upset. He doesn’t want Amamiya to distance himself again. 

“We can’t—not anymore.” Goro furrows his brows. He’s confused . Why would Amamiya even… “I thought you knew that.”

Amamiya’s face floods with recognition. “Right. My mistake,” he replies, softly. His eyes avert and his face slowly morphs into one of embarrassment.

Goro keeps his hands at his sides, clenching his fists and unclenching them. Does he apologize? Does he just leave? 

“Uhm—I’m gonna..” Amamiya points his thumb off and Goro can’t really think about where he’s referring to. He can’t really think at all. “See you.”

His face feels entirely too hot as he watches Amamiya walk off in the direction of their apartment. Goro isn’t even sure if he should follow after that . He needs a few moments to recoup. 

Maybe a few hours, because holy shit.

What the hell was Amamiya thinking?! He can’t just kiss Goro. Goro doesn’t … he doesn’t feel that way for him.

Did this mean that Amamiya thought those things were still okay?

They weren’t. The two couldn’t do stuff like that anymore. They shouldn’t have done things like that in the first place.

Deciding to spend a few more hours out, Goro heads in the opposite direction. He needs to collect his thoughts. Luckily, there is a lake close to his apartment. It should give him a place to think without people interrupting him.

Something like guilt curls and weaves along in Goro’s stomach. It’s his fault Amamiya is confused. 

He should apologize.